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SEASIDE UPDATE!

He order 24 bags of crisps and it's lush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVTTZJeTvS8

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**"The Haunting of Britfeel Towers"**

Lollers, Chika, HHL, and Crosslad stood at the entrance of Britfeel Towers, a crumbling, gothic structure looming over them like the world's most depressing birthday cake. They weren't sure how they ended up there, but they were pretty sure it involved poor life choices and a questionable GPS route.

"I told you," Chika muttered, nervously adjusting his glasses. "We should've taken the left turn at the roundabout. Now we're... here."

HHL, always the optimist, squinted at the building. "It's not that bad, guys. We'll just find the way out and be home in time for wizza and chippy whippies"

The door behind them slammed shut with a thunderous *bang*. Everyone froze.

"Well, we're dead," Crosslad sighed, crossing his arms.

"Relax," Lollers said, trying to sound brave, even though his knees were shaking harder than a washing machine on spin cycle. "It's just a door. Probably old and creaky. Happens all the time in spooky towers, right?"

"Right," Chika nodded, though his voice trembled as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

As they cautiously stepped into the dimly lit hallway, the atmosphere grew heavier, like someone had forgotten to pay the electric bill for a century. Cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and the faint sound of whispering echoed around them, though none of them could make out what was being said.

Crosslad squinted into the gloom. "Did that painting just wink at me?"

"Yup. Definitely dead," HHL muttered.

>(1)

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The group ventured deeper into the building, trying to stay calm but jumping at every creak and groan. The floor beneath them creaked loudly as they walked, and with each step, the whispering grew louder. Suddenly, a chandelier above them began to sway, even though there wasn't a breeze in the entire place.

"Uh, Lollers," Chika said, backing away slowly, "I think we should get out of here. Now."

Lollers turned around and saw the chandelier shaking violently. "Yeah, no arguments from me."

They bolted down the hall, not caring where they were going. As they ran, doors slammed open and shut on their own, as if the building was trying to trap them. The whispering turned into eerie giggles, like the ghosts were having a laugh at their expense.

They turned a corner and came face to face with the source of the laughter: a group of ghostly figures wearing top hats and monocles, sipping tea and gossiping about the afterlife.

"Good evening, chaps," one of the ghosts said, tipping his hat. "Lovely night for a haunt, wouldn't you say?"

Lollers blinked. "Are we being haunted by *posh* ghosts?"

Chika whispered, "Honestly, it's the least terrifying thing that's happened so far."

Crosslad, ever the sarcastic one, stepped forward. "Look, guys, we're just trying to get out of here. Could you, like, point us toward the exit?"

The ghostly gentleman stroked his chin. "Ah, yes, the exit. Tricky thing, that. Most who enter Britfeel Towers don't exactly_ *leave*."

Lollers turned pale. "Oh, great."

>(2)

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"But," the ghost continued, "there is a way. If you can make it through the Grand Ballroom without_ *disturbing* the guests, you might just find the door."

"The guests?" HHL asked, dreading the answer.

"Oh yes," the ghost said with a grin. "They're not too fond of intruders. But you'll manage, I'm sure."

The four men exchanged glances. Disturbing supernatural party goers wasn't high on their list of things to do, but it wasn't like they had a choice. They cautiously made their way to the ballroom, the sound of distant classical music growing louder.

When they entered the grand room, it was filled with spirits dancing in Victorian attire. They twirled gracefully around the floor, oblivious to the living intruders.

"All we have to do is get across without disturbing them," Lollers whispered.

They tiptoed through the ballroom, but halfway across, HHL accidentally bumped into a ghostly lady, knocking her off balance. Her eyes flared with an unholy glow.

"Oops_" HHL squeaked.

>(3)

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The ghost lady let out a banshee-like wail, and suddenly, every ghost in the room turned to stare at the intruders.

"Run!" Crosslad shouted.

They dashed for the exit, dodging angry spirits as they flung teacups and plates at them. The door appeared just ahead, glowing faintly in the darkness. They burst through it and tumbled out onto the lawn, gasping for breath.

The tower behind them went silent, as if nothing had ever happened.

"Well," Lollers said between gasps, "that wasn't so bad."

Chika glared at him. "Not so bad?! We nearly got *tea'd to death* by ghosts!"

"Yeah," Crosslad added. "Next time, we're taking the left at the roundabout."

As they limped away from Britfeel Towers, HHL looked back and smirked. "At least we didn't have to have the willies put up us."

And with that, they vowed never to trust their GPS again.

My mum and dad just moved out one day when I was at school. I came back to an empty house and I haven't seen them since. I was 16, so the police said there was nothing they could do and it was a civil matter. Eventually I came back from school one day and the locks were changed because the mortgage company repossesed the house. I was put into temporary accommodation by the council, and then they found me a council flat. I've been here ever since and never heard from my mum and dad again.

Need ruthmong themed halloween stories

Bonfire night is better than Halloween. Halloween is an old Celtic thing that Americans turned into corporate tat.

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Morning lids, just got up. Having that first wuppa of the day with a few wausage wolls for brekkie. Having a few drinks later, not going mad though just having a few cans.

It Halloween x

>>79308801
Useless pisshead

>>79308801
You're an alcoholic lad

>>79308777
Ruthmong's life is scarier than any Halloween story could ever be.

Might move to limerick

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Necking a few more wausage wolls because why not.

This lad is the black HHL

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3ZaA4mN5fRo

>>79308640
Looks alright, it's crazy how easy it is to make art with AI these days

One downside is that it's showing candy corn, and I've never seen that in this country, it's an American thing

>>79308735
Nice little Halloween story there lad.
*gives a head pat*

>>79308801
Just wondering but do you think you'll ever get a job?

>>79308913
I tried it once, it's so shit. Just tastes like sugar and that's it. No idea why "American candy" is a thing in this country when 95% of it is shit.

Takis are brilliant though.

>>79308745
Sounds like a classic case of alien abduction and a cover up by the government.

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>>79308902

Based. Fuck that wagie ragie judge.

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>never went to any halloween parties in my twenties
>never carved a pumpkin with a girl

Got 12 wokkles of Westons Vintage Dry Cider. 8.2 percent. Rocket fuel. Nice though.

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>>79308916
>*gives a head pat*
Woah, thanks mate!

Very cringe posts ITT

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Me? Having a cheeky can of Smirnoff Ice crisp citrus. Feels like something that would be nice to drink in the garden during the height of summer.

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Wish I had a gf to watch a spooky film with tonight.

>>79308830
It's scarily sad. How time just goes on and you're left behind. Nothing can be done about it sadly. The things I want are unobtainable.

Tasty tarts in fancy dress around the world will be slobbering on Chad's shaven bollocks at Halloween parties tonight. Then again on Friday and Saturday. Lots of sloppy blowjobs for Chad tonight. Lots of wet woman hole being spunked in. Throbbing Chad cock being worshipped. There's a whole other world out there for Chad. Chad is king.

can autistic people tell how dogs are feeling?

what's scary now?
can't focus on imaginary/what-if shite like ghosts or rapists
can't focus on lofty/spiritual shite like a sense of purpose or psychedelia beyondness
all that presently frightens me, massively so, is financial insecurity and my organs failing. it's so practical. i want ghosts back.

>>79309367
I am autistic and my dog and I are very in sync. I comfort him when he sick and he comfort me 24/7. Based boyo.

>>79309168
my gf is going out with her friends and I will be stuck in my flat alone because I have no friends and she wont invite me out with hers

>>79309403
can't focus on organs for too long without it making me feel really uncomfortable, its all so fragile. I wish I was machine, gears and oil, not fleshy tendons and squishy organs. Typing this is making my breathing shallow, I do not fuck with being in a human body ngl.

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>>79309354
Sad but true lad. Women will be coming back from halloween parties at 2 am having fucked some random chad they met half drunk. It's such a different world for chads and females.

>>79309421
ditto lad. awful thing to be aware of. sorry for adding to it.
maybe i'll take shrooms and feel inspired to explore an abandoned building, then perhaps a crackhead will jump me. anything's possible, even this.

>>79309429
Wow, look at this giant whore with her tits out. Fucking bitch.

31 years old. Never been to a Halloween party. Always hated the idea of fancy dress, even as a child.

>>79309407
She won't invite you because she's clearly got some chad on the side.

>>79309429
Fucking slut making me cum in my pants. Why are women like this? They know if I see some tits I go into ooga booga mode. WHORE.

>>79309429
Notice how this WHORE positions her necklace to draw attention to her tits and get views. Fucking bitch.

got food in the fridge. this means i will eat it. of course i will.
what's the point in my brain working this way? i'm not a teenage girl, what the fuck do i care? of course i need food to function, i know that. someone explain.

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>helloween today say hello to my ween bois

>>79309444
couldn't do that, only been caught outside on shrooms once and it was awful, felt so paranoid and the pavement stretched endlessly. It's alright when in nature alone or indoors. I've got an entire jar of liberty caps I haven't touched since picking them last years, dont really want to idk, feel like ive gone off tripping.

Going on the piss HHL style now, gonna be a mad one

forgot kitchen roll and toilet roll on my Sainsburys order FUCK SAKE

>>79309445
She's not a whore. Just making asmr for the lads.

>>79309475
>>79309493
They know exactly what they're doing and simps fall for it by giving them money.

Feels like Ruthmong's depression got worse. His posts are very low energy lately.

Anon is going to be drunk SSM style on that 8 percent cider.

*smacks lips*
*eyes roll back*

Aww yeah, mmh mhh mmhhhhh

And I mean lush x

>>79309625
Yeah it's bad. Such a fucked sleep schedule lately too. Keep waking up in the evening.

What does Chad dress as at Halloween parties?

HHL happy virgin NEET
Ruthmong depressed virgin NEET
Why?

>>79309531
Haha what a spacker dance. Very funny lad!

>>79309602
it's like you might as well not have ordered at all, you've not got things in.

>>79309658
the comic-books-turned-filmed character, (the) Joker
'heh yeah he's a pretty weird guy'
that's what Chad says, 'dressing as' him
but us? we actually live it.....

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I'm not going to slave in a deadend job and make my mental health worse. I don't think there are enough jobs anyway with all these immigrants coming here by the thousands every week. Shove your low wages on an immigrant. I'm not interested.

Anyone read Light Novels? Wondering what's good to start with. Downloaded a bunch of Vampire Hunter D and Toradora (cause I liked the anime).

>>79309660
I think alcohol and drugs can really make a difference positively for some men.

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>>79309660
Don't think HHL is the happiest lad but he finds joy where he can in life, whereas Ruthmong is too obsessed with women enjoy or do anything

>>79309747
>make my mental health wors
Can it get any worse though?

>>79309790
I believe working will make it worse. I don't want to go back to a shit job ever again. Imagine working and never having a life. I can not have a life by being a NEET and having free time.

I prefer heavy novels myself.

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whoa very spooky very scary

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Thread theme
>Monster Mash
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEs-Ir7q8DY

i prefer dark novels myself.

(my opposite counters your opposite. your move, fucker.)

>>79309818
Why are women such whores? I bet her dad doesn't know she's doing that.

I'm British. I have every right to get bennies when my country is being taken over by immigrants. Let them fuckers work for me. They betrayed their own country and ruined my wages. So fuck it. I'll do the same and run this country further down.

>>79309849
I think that's Lauren Alexis, if it is I'm pretty sure her dad knows what she's up to which must be a weird feeling. As for your other question, she is a whore for money

Looking more like it's close to nannas turn for the long sleep.
Breathing getting worse, Dr's want her in hospital but she's ready to go, she going to sign a DNR, but wants to talk to the priest first. She's religious af, and worries about it being seen as an heroing/going against God's plan or what have you.

Ruthmong should make a youtube channel SSM style to document his fascinating life

>>79309864
You post the same boring bollocks every day like a broken machine. I hope someone cuts off your hands and your feet and blinds you.

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Halloween is pathetic. After childhood it's only the most irritating womemes who think they are being quirky who enjoy it. Omgggg I loveeee horrors and murder documentaries I'm so twisted XD. CRINGE.

>>79309894
Laughed out loud at the sheer vitriol of this post. You're not wrong though lad he is a bit repetitive

>>79309903
Grumpy little shithead

>>79309884
Just be vidya all day mostly. Would not be very interesting. Even the food I eat is mostly the same now. Life is just groundhog day.

>>79309910
Don't care, it's the truth.

Ruthmong needs compassion from us not hate

>>79309916
I assume your mothers cooks for you?

>>79309921
Why feel sorry for someone who's problems are all his own making, but refuses to acknowledge it and blames everything and everyone else for his sorry lot in life?

You can't feel compassion for someone like that. It's too loathsome.

Truman Show wouldn't be a very good film if he just got utterly shitfaced every other day and sat in bed hungover when he wasn't drunk

Groundhog Day wouldn't be a very good film if he just watched ASMR and Auditors on youtube and posted on 4chan every day

>>79309928
Yeah sometimes but I'm not always up. She gets upset when I don't have dinner.

>>79309953
Tell her you want some variety in her cooking

Necking that McChicken sandwich me. It lush x

Chad's girls order HIM McDonald's breakfast the next morning.

>>79309950
Actually had a good chuckle reading this

Wonder what would happen if you went trick or treating in a heavily Muslim area. Reckon they would even answer the door.

>>79308745
this happened to one of my dads mates except iirc they stayed in contact with him
mental isn't it, if it were me I'd probably just ghost on them anyway

me? i'm 'mid' grump. think i'll probably enjoy a murder documentary or something, but not particularly a fan of horror films any more.

>>79310009
i genuinely can't tell how many layers of irony this is on, so

yeah, those bloody Muslims, not respecting our traditional culture of Halloween.

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Lots of noise outside. Making me feel anxious. Dont like it. Im also expecting a delivery from yodel and I dont want to answer the door to stupid kids begging for sweets. I will only answer the door to the person delivering my parcel. Simple as.

>>79310049

No I'm just genuinely curious. Many of them are openly hostile to Western holidays and culture.

>>79308940
I know for a fact they are still around. I've seen their LinkedIn profiles, and I am sure I could find them. I don't want to.
>>79310025
Yeah I've heard of one parent leaving but I'm the only person I know where it was both parents.

>waiting for hair to dry then have to go to tesco for food

fuck sakes, not in the mood to go outside

>>79310009
Halloween is a pagan holiday and absolutely haram for us.

>"But when the forbidden months are past,
>then fight and slay the Pagans wherever ye find them,
>and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war);
>but if they repent, and establish regular prayers and practise regular charity, then open the way for them:
>for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

There won't be 'halloween' in the future. It is wildly unislamic and makes our communities feel uncomfortable when whites come into our neighbourhoods looking for a handout.

>>79309950
truman show never made any sense anyway. Why would billions of people watch for the first few years when there's nothing going on? A billion people watched truman take his first steps? why?
would have made more sense if it just started out as a 30 minute weekly episode thing and they expanded it out as he got older and there was more going on

>>79310065
fair enough. i remember as a kid 'Halloween' being considered 'American' and it was supposed to be Mischief Night. nobody said 'trick or treat', it was 'penny for Halloween' (copied from 'penny for the Guy', Guy Fawkes' night).

i'm not religious or anti-religious (fucking wish i knew) so i have a middling respect for actual Muslims/Christians/whatever, and a weird extra level of respect for daft 'witchy' lasses who are currently celebrating Samhain.

love me willy pills

>>79310084
right this is 100% hearsay, i am ignorant, mea cupla.
isn't it zakat that yous give some dosh to the sprogs? i know you're larping, but as a jestery jape jahmed, what's the crack there?

Using this Samhain to cast a dark spell on HelperLad.
He's completely vulnerable. He has no crystal of protection, rebuking ash or enchanted candles.
Heh. This coming Christmas is not going to be womfy for you de lad.

>>79310107
What do they do to your willend?

>>79310084
this is why I cant get onboard with islam, can't play my guitar, cant draw anything living, cant read anything because its a waste of time and I could be reading the quran.

>>79310116
he's got 35 year virgin blood lad, these witch sluts got nothing on his powers

>>79310114
Zakat is donations to other Muslims.
https://nzf.org.uk

Here is some information for you.

>>79310114
>jestery jape jahmed

Enjoyed this. You're a good poster. Appreciate you.

I for one embrace our Muslim overlords.

>>79310131
thanks, will read.

honestly, baking alms giving into your religion is based as fuck. in an ideal world charity shouldn't have to exist, everyone's needs would be met, but as a divine calling? that's great.
if you're actually just purely selfish or a psychopath, then you do you. but ultimately, even that'll be bad you, in some roundabout way.

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>18 kg of chocolate
fuck me take halloween proper serious these americans

Doing my silent prayer outside the abortion clinic. Not a crime to pray in a public space. Fuck all whores who shag and then kill a unique life. Murderers. Get your tubes tied fucking slags.

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Just had a bunch of trick or treaters. Not a miserable or antisocial bastard so I actually gave them some sweets. It nice to be nice x

>>79310177
Some wog will steal all of that.

>>79310117
makes me willy dance to thriller

>>79310202
these trick or treaters entered your assisted living building and knocked on your bedroom door?

wish I had mates to go drinking with on halloween, nothing mental, pint in the pub, film and a spliff, dunno. Sick of not having anyone to do anything with.

>>79310221
>tfw your only friend is a loser dosser like you

>>79310221
I'd like a fanny to fuck and suck.

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Whenever I want to better myself I just get negativity from my parents. Quite sick of it desu. Very doomerish people.

last chance for a wank tonight lads

Situation: your family wants you to go to an event, but you know it will be terrible, because you've been to it before, and your mental health is really in a shit place right now.

Do you:
a) Go anyway, because their happiness is more important than your mental wellbeing
b) Don't go, because there's no point in suffering just for the amusement of others

>>79310261
I had a cracking one yesterday, not sure I want one tonight

>>79310280
I'm an adult and just refuse.

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>>79310280
Usually always the first one. I did try and refuse to go to one when I was 14 or something but in the end got mega guilt tripped and ever since then I just do it. Just do it bro, nothing is ever as bad as you think it will be.

>>79310219
Yea why does he lie like that?

Situation: You want to crossdress but you have a beard

Do you:
a) Shave the beard and explain to everyone (including your gf who likes beards) that you just fancied a change and you're happy looking significantly less attractive clean shaven?
b) Don't shave the beard and crossdress anyway, enjoying it significantly less
c) Keep the beard and don't crossdress

>>79310300
Can't grow one and do so regularly.

>>79310288
Maybe I should just do this

>>79310291
>nothing is ever as bad as you think it will be
I know how bad it will be because I went to it last year and it was terrible

>>79310300
I'm clean shaven anyway but I dont crossdress cos im not a poofter and if I wanted to that badly I'd just repress it and drink

Situation: Your life is a complete mess and you've never achieved anything. You can't get a gf and desperately want one. You know that fixing your life doesn't guarantee getting a gf, just increases the chances.

Do you:
a) Do the hard consistent daily work required to fix your life. Enjoy the many other benefits even if a gf doesn't come your way.
b) Whine about it daily on /britfeel/ in an annoying, repetitive way

>>79310337
Or (c) suffer in a situation that you can't really control unless you tell people you're not going to that situation, in which case they will all hate you, why? Because they can, that's why

corrr lads I find out how much universal credit I get tomorrow, I wonder how much I will get. Quite excited for my free gibs, have to wait till the 5th to actually get it though. I rent and pay council tax but with a single persons discount. If its 300 quid and above I'd be pleased

In 100 years, the population of Pacific Islanders in the UK will be 8% and no one seems to care.

>>79310337
you can easily do both, I used to do both

>>79310356
C) sounds a lot like B) to be honest.

Chad's throbbing meat will be sucked clean tonight and I mean clean. Chad will be swimming in an ocean of fanny, arse and mouth. Scantily clad women dressed as witches and other assorted mythical creatures will be on their knees servicing Chad's clean shaven scrotum in thousands of bathrooms and back gardens at Halloween parties throughout the country. Not just tonight either, the Halloween fuckathon continues all weekend long.

>>79310337
>the many other benefits
like what?

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Fat shitlib atheist man has all the exact same opinions you would expect. But he's not all bad, don't really hate him.

Told mumberg to pick up some mcdonalds on her way back from work

So Light Novels are just books with an occasional picture?

>>79310383
To whom do you refer? Atheism is probably true to be honest

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>>79310408
Just some guy at work. My frenemy.

>>79310380
Money, independence, friendships, improved physical health, improved mental health, opportunities for experiences.

Woman left me at the start of the month
all our friends were really just her friends and now i have no one to halloween with

>>79310427
I was reading some of The God Delusion by Dawkins the other day, it seems pretty good.

My view is that there just isn't evidence for God. If someone can show me some good evidence that really does prove God then I'll believe in God, but Christians have never done that.

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>>79310443
Good for you. I'm not a zealot so you're trying to bait the wrong chud, chuddy.

>>79310439
I have no friends either, I will be making mash and sausages and listening to death metal for halloween.

>>79310357
Claim you're too depressed to work and you'll get a lot more.

>>79310436
>friendships, improved physical health, improved mental health, opportunities for experiences.
none of these are guaranteed

>>79310288
i hate this attitude tbfrank. there's 100% fake invented American bullshit, the waiter asking "is everything alright?", then there's some murky/grey level of politeness where you have to suck it up a bit. yes you're an adult who can do whatever you want, but within that agency you ought to do what's right. and maybe that's not precisely what you want, but what's good for everyone.

>>79310457
There are very few guarantees in life. If you only do things that are 100% guaranteed to succeed, you'll just do nothing and totally waste your life.

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>>79310462
Based
>I don't owe anyone ANYTHING
Is so cringe. The Seth Rogan pill.

>>79310452
i had some beef egg and cheese
might go for a walk later blasting my headphones

>grown man
>reading books designed for japanese teenage girls
grim