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>end up heading out with my cousin
>gotta get the car of aunt cleaned
>we went to the desert to grill & chill last night
>there is too much sand in aunts car now
>she wouldn't be pleased if we hand it back to her like that
>get my breakfast on the way to the car wash
>two indian style hotdogs with some pomegranate juice
>the car wash is bretty busy and we are waiting for our turn
>tfw have a big headache
>I need more sleep methinks
>and someone to cuddle with to be desu

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>finally back at cousins place
>this headache is just torture
>gonna try to nap it away for now

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>nap ends
>all wet again from sweat
>this headache is still here
>big ouch
>hungry too but dunno what I should get to eat
I should take a shower for now

Taking deep breaths makes headaches go away for me

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>I hate these shower curtains that stay in position by extending them enough
>curtain thingy falls of mid shower
>head hurts too much to fix it so put it to the side
>shower without curtains
>went to aunts place
>they gave me some meds for my headache
>please let it work
>try to eat something aunt made
>my stomach seems to work on throwing up so I stop
>I think I fucked up when I went to make my own fire cause they were drunk n 2noisy
>used fire material I could find around or burried in the sand
>one of it was piece of wood from furniture someone left behind
>the fumes n smoke were probably bad
please make it stop already
>>79335854
Thanks it did help to distract from it a lil but the pain won't go away

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>cousin woke me up by accident
>they are going out
>headache seems mostly gone now I hope
>I think im gonna join them
>still so sleepy to be desu

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>headache still there
>try a aspirin
>we went to that buffalo wings with a rooftop area
>really neat view
>you can see the burj khalifa and other skyscrapers around you
>they are all drinking
>but I just order a mocktail and wings
>im hungryyyy

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>OKAY they are drunk forsure
>we play I see what you dont see
>only hinting the color
>someone was like its white
>someone says cousins eggs ? (What can also be translated/meant as balls)
>"they are not white"
>someone else "as long as they dont turn black"
>gonna assume that means blueballing in persian
>they hab sus laughter
>I stand up n be like gotta go this too much goodnight
>they laugh more
>not sure if this is worse when parents made a s*x joke during breakfast
>ended up choking on my breakfast thatn time
>the wings were okay
>persian chicken wings taste much better to be desu
>im also still hungry methinks

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>some girl at a uni im theran was told to put on a headscarf by the cops or something
>(they dont really wear headscarfs anymore but by law they have to)
>she removes her clothes and walks around in her bra n undie around campus
>LOL true madlad
>they put her into a mental ward n declare her psychotic
>other optin was to execute her
>they are afraid to trigger new mass protests that lead to woman avoiding their headscarfs in public in the first place

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>last night befor wagie time in a week
>I think im just gonna quit myself via their app
>probably gonna get my last paycheck from ((((them)))) in around 10days
>how else do I make moneyssss FUCK
>FUCKING germany legalise it in the worst way possible
>the black market is blooming even more
>you are not allowed to make a legal profitable business with it
>they should imagine all the taxes they could make
>I know from vancouver that it isnt as easy as it sounds
>tons of companys went broke
>but its a product I know plenty about
>aunt was like at least its halal money what im making
>I would go for haram money if these monkeys back home wouldnt lose their shit if you take just one of their customers away
>groupping up isnt a option they all will backstab as soon as its in their favor
>my head hurts now but in a different way

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>running out of the tobacco I brought with myself from germany
>oh no
>I guess I will look for a 28ml disposable vape tomorrow
>they arent legal to sell in stores in germany but plenty of kiosks have them under their counter
>should last my a week
>the 2ml legal ones just last me a day to be desu

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>just being full blown bpd in my head
>if I jump infront of the train one of my managers takes to work in the morning
>that cunt would be late
>have fun explaining that the hr department xd
>I would ruin the performance of a entire shift
>cause a few too many would just make use of the mess and be like I cant work today anymore
>that would be funny
>I wonder if they would give my namesign a special place or gets trashed for being cursed
>we have a "hall of fame" field on the staffing whiteboard
>for employees who were fired or quit but we had good memories of
>to be desu the chicken wings werent enough im too hungry since a while
>cousin even offered to drive to papa johns when we were about to head back home
>but they all were too drunk
>didnt wanted to increase the the drive distance or the amount of monays they spent for me tonight
>oh no im turning too much of a persian around them
>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof
>tldr when it comes to food ur supposed to decline offers until they basically force u to eat/just get something for u
>but usually if I say no they know its a actual no
>should go out for food or ice cream but cant bother bleh
>time to roll another cig instead xd

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>04:12AM
>become even more hungry
>still cant bother to go out
>at least I seem sleepy enough now

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>big yawn
>that was a bleh dream
>I need hugs
>but s coffee n cig should do for now ig
>and a snickers milkshake sooon

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>oh I felt asleep again befor I made it out of bed

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>go get my two hotdog thingies and a snickers milkshake
>oh wednesday is gonna be interesting
>US election results come in
>germanies goverment coaltion may breaks up triggering re-election
>the financr ministerd letter got "leaked"
>he was like how comes we have billions for foreigners and nothing for ourself while we crash the economy into the wall??
>triggered emergency talks
>last round of talks on wednesday
>to be desu its a slim chance
>none of them wants to give up their juicy pension claims by being part of a failed goverment

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>and according to wall streert goiys iran plans a large scale attack on israel
>after elections
>they will attack for sure if black hillary clinton wins
>they would never fear or even respect a woman as lead in the us office
>as soon as she wins they would be like
>ITS A WOMAN AND NOT EVEN A WHITE ONE LMAOOOO
>PREPARE to attack israel!
>(fun fact persia was changed to Iran to pander to the hitler regime)
>(Iran means the land of the aryans)
>(iranians are very racist by default)
>meanwhile putin seems to be ready to stop his shenanigans cause trump wont fuck around
>to be desu the aytollahs need the war so much
>they are losing their grip on their citizens
>who knew a woman walking in undies would be the horseman of their end
>inb4 somehow its gonna be a nothing burger and they are going to stay in power for decades to come
>I should get a english quran for the worst case and be ready to move back eitherway
>if you cant fight them, join them

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>went out and got one of these big disposable vapes
>should last me two weeks or something
>throw away all of my leftover tobacco and rolling stuff
>gonna regret that a lil won't I?
>kinda sleepy again

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>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
>my company offered me a higher position at a new side
>>>>>>>10k euros transfer bonus
>>>>2.6k monthly after taxes
>con no comfy winter balcony + saving costs by a lot by living with parents
>that email is from nearly 2 months ago I just found it now
>even if im like sorries it was in my spam mail
>that was BEFOR doctors prescribed me as sick for TWO months
Im laughing like crazy but I wanna cry

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>went out for a tea
>worst time to be outside
>melting heat
>god damn it I wont be even able to convert to islam and join the mullahs
>ofc now Iran has to go into war mode
>I just seem to be cursed in the west
>I dont wanna go to the west
>there seems to be n0thing there for me besides misery

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>too hungry since too many hours
>not in the mood what aunt made
>dont wanna go to her apartment
>also declining pool time with them
>just laying around in my bed at cousins place
>I guess if I bother at all its gonna be the iranian pizza again
>being alive is too much of a hustle desu
>why couldnt they get another son reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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>bite off my finger nails and its skin too much
>my fingers hurt
>make a coffee for whatever reason
>this mess could have been avoided if I just met the right person to keep me going but n0 im cursed
>im too needy n clingy to function longterm solo

i don't even fucking care you're so boring

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>>79347289
Here ur free (You) desu

i wasn't fishing for that, i saged for a reason

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>>79347367
I know lol
Habe another one(1)

yeah that's not incredibly annoying and an easy way to get people to hate you

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>stomach keeps making noises
>go out to get my iranian pizza
>traffic is way too high for a monday
>streets are too crowded too
>people looking at me like that makes me paranoid that my dick is out
>have to double check to make sure its in my pants
>come back with my pizza
>dunno what to watch
>the manhattan alien abduction on netflix
>ig that will do
>eat in bed
>okies I better stop watching that
>even if they are all just schizo
>ayylien stories can scare me too much
>should most likely take a shower and then try to sleep desu
>>79347393
ur funny desu
here another (You) for u

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>was being a lil bold and asked if the offer is still up for me to grab it
>I mean I would get to move away far from dad and get a neat bonus for a japan travel
>I have to go back to work and talk in person about it
>thats a gamble
>my mental state is going to be another gamble
>damn it
>during corona you could change ur flight date for free with my airline
>not anymore
>I just wanna fly back and see how it goes
>now im anxious about that potential No.
>feel like I wanna vomit out the pizza I just ate
FUCK
>>79347393
u should wish me luck I will go back focusing on being a wagie if that works out desu

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>maybe I should just quit befor my first day
>this new feel about it is killing me

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>imagine showing up after around 3 months again
>and then having the nerve to ask to be greenlight for a transfer
>I rather disappear for forever

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>150 bucks to fly back on wednesday instead of saturday
>welp I still have enough money saved up
>to be desu the real issue is parents cant pick me up befor saturday
>taking the train could be a nightmare
>seems like I have to wait this out

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>go to the pool2swim
>le fear of sharks in the pool while im alone
I swear going to swim alone is much more terrifying than skydiving to me
I would do it again anyday if it wasnt fucking 800 bucks over here

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>tell cousin what happened
>"so when did you got that offer?"
>mid september I didnt knew
>she is like OMFG FUCKFACE I SHOULD BEAT YOU WITH A SHOE
>welp too many things were hurting me and its not like I tamed my bpd fully yet
>at least im staying away from alcohol since april things could be worse ayy
>plus I should be able to stay away from the greens when im back home
>I should still get a english quran and start studying it
>just in case things dont work out and its a global nothing burger so im rdy to become a mullah as emergency plan
>I habe relatives who worked for him and my dad has a picture with ahmadinedschad
>so its not like im full schizo about it to be desu
>my equal to art school is gonna be a western bf or gf

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>https://littlethingsme.com/products/nendoroid-cerberus-single
I think I need this nendoroid for my collection to be desu

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>US aunt said she is getting to vote for trump for me
>trump is ready to bully the mullah regime away
>even putin seems to rather go back to keep lowkey
>he probably has enough headaches cause north korean troops being just a bunch of goofballs and not the Geheimwaffe he hoped for
>I always have to sabotage myself somehow
>ig for that dark path its for the best desu

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>https://youtube.com/shorts/coIIKX1p988?si=EF61heOw5gBrG2x1
>okies even if that lady was on it its still bretty funny desu
>01:40AM
>seem to be sleepy enough
>should just stfu and sleep

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>tfw no one to cuddle to sleep with
the true horror