>have a annoying dream>don't get the amount of sleep I need again>get out of bed being drenched in sweat>all of my clothes are wet and I hate that>at least my own smell in this state kinda turns me on to be desu>make a coffee & roll a cig>tfw less than week of my vacation left befor I have to fly back>should go out to get breakfast & a milkshake
>end up heading out with my cousin>gotta get the car of aunt cleaned>we went to the desert to grill & chill last night>there is too much sand in aunts car now>she wouldn't be pleased if we hand it back to her like that>get my breakfast on the way to the car wash>two indian style hotdogs with some pomegranate juice>the car wash is bretty busy and we are waiting for our turn>tfw have a big headache>I need more sleep methinks>and someone to cuddle with to be desu
>finally back at cousins place>this headache is just torture>gonna try to nap it away for now
>nap ends>all wet again from sweat>this headache is still here>big ouch>hungry too but dunno what I should get to eatI should take a shower for now
Taking deep breaths makes headaches go away for me
>I hate these shower curtains that stay in position by extending them enough>curtain thingy falls of mid shower>head hurts too much to fix it so put it to the side>shower without curtains>went to aunts place>they gave me some meds for my headache>please let it work>try to eat something aunt made>my stomach seems to work on throwing up so I stop>I think I fucked up when I went to make my own fire cause they were drunk n 2noisy>used fire material I could find around or burried in the sand>one of it was piece of wood from furniture someone left behind>the fumes n smoke were probably badplease make it stop already>>79335854Thanks it did help to distract from it a lil but the pain won't go away
>cousin woke me up by accident>they are going out>headache seems mostly gone now I hope>I think im gonna join them >still so sleepy to be desu
>headache still there>try a aspirin>we went to that buffalo wings with a rooftop area>really neat view>you can see the burj khalifa and other skyscrapers around you>they are all drinking>but I just order a mocktail and wings>im hungryyyy
>OKAY they are drunk forsure>we play I see what you dont see>only hinting the color>someone was like its white>someone says cousins eggs ? (What can also be translated/meant as balls)>"they are not white">someone else "as long as they dont turn black">gonna assume that means blueballing in persian>they hab sus laughter>I stand up n be like gotta go this too much goodnight >they laugh more>not sure if this is worse when parents made a s*x joke during breakfast>ended up choking on my breakfast thatn time>the wings were okay>persian chicken wings taste much better to be desu>im also still hungry methinks
>some girl at a uni im theran was told to put on a headscarf by the cops or something>(they dont really wear headscarfs anymore but by law they have to)>she removes her clothes and walks around in her bra n undie around campus>LOL true madlad>they put her into a mental ward n declare her psychotic>other optin was to execute her>they are afraid to trigger new mass protests that lead to woman avoiding their headscarfs in public in the first place
>last night befor wagie time in a week>I think im just gonna quit myself via their app>probably gonna get my last paycheck from ((((them)))) in around 10days>how else do I make moneyssss FUCK>FUCKING germany legalise it in the worst way possible>the black market is blooming even more>you are not allowed to make a legal profitable business with it>they should imagine all the taxes they could make>I know from vancouver that it isnt as easy as it sounds>tons of companys went broke>but its a product I know plenty about>aunt was like at least its halal money what im making>I would go for haram money if these monkeys back home wouldnt lose their shit if you take just one of their customers away>groupping up isnt a option they all will backstab as soon as its in their favor>my head hurts now but in a different way
>running out of the tobacco I brought with myself from germany>oh no>I guess I will look for a 28ml disposable vape tomorrow>they arent legal to sell in stores in germany but plenty of kiosks have them under their counter >should last my a week>the 2ml legal ones just last me a day to be desu
>just being full blown bpd in my head>if I jump infront of the train one of my managers takes to work in the morning>that cunt would be late>have fun explaining that the hr department xd>I would ruin the performance of a entire shift>cause a few too many would just make use of the mess and be like I cant work today anymore>that would be funny>I wonder if they would give my namesign a special place or gets trashed for being cursed >we have a "hall of fame" field on the staffing whiteboard>for employees who were fired or quit but we had good memories of>to be desu the chicken wings werent enough im too hungry since a while>cousin even offered to drive to papa johns when we were about to head back home>but they all were too drunk>didnt wanted to increase the the drive distance or the amount of monays they spent for me tonight>oh no im turning too much of a persian around them>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof>tldr when it comes to food ur supposed to decline offers until they basically force u to eat/just get something for u>but usually if I say no they know its a actual no>should go out for food or ice cream but cant bother bleh>time to roll another cig instead xd
>04:12AM>become even more hungry >still cant bother to go out>at least I seem sleepy enough now
>big yawn>that was a bleh dream>I need hugs>but s coffee n cig should do for now ig>and a snickers milkshake sooon
>oh I felt asleep again befor I made it out of bed
>go get my two hotdog thingies and a snickers milkshake>oh wednesday is gonna be interesting>US election results come in>germanies goverment coaltion may breaks up triggering re-election>the financr ministerd letter got "leaked">he was like how comes we have billions for foreigners and nothing for ourself while we crash the economy into the wall??>triggered emergency talks>last round of talks on wednesday>to be desu its a slim chance>none of them wants to give up their juicy pension claims by being part of a failed goverment
>and according to wall streert goiys iran plans a large scale attack on israel>after elections>they will attack for sure if black hillary clinton wins>they would never fear or even respect a woman as lead in the us office>as soon as she wins they would be like>ITS A WOMAN AND NOT EVEN A WHITE ONE LMAOOOO>PREPARE to attack israel!>(fun fact persia was changed to Iran to pander to the hitler regime)>(Iran means the land of the aryans)>(iranians are very racist by default)>meanwhile putin seems to be ready to stop his shenanigans cause trump wont fuck around>to be desu the aytollahs need the war so much>they are losing their grip on their citizens>who knew a woman walking in undies would be the horseman of their end>inb4 somehow its gonna be a nothing burger and they are going to stay in power for decades to come>I should get a english quran for the worst case and be ready to move back eitherway>if you cant fight them, join them
>went out and got one of these big disposable vapes>should last me two weeks or something>throw away all of my leftover tobacco and rolling stuff>gonna regret that a lil won't I?>kinda sleepy again
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA>HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA>my company offered me a higher position at a new side>>>>>>>10k euros transfer bonus>>>>2.6k monthly after taxes>con no comfy winter balcony + saving costs by a lot by living with parents>that email is from nearly 2 months ago I just found it now>even if im like sorries it was in my spam mail>that was BEFOR doctors prescribed me as sick for TWO months Im laughing like crazy but I wanna cry
>went out for a tea>worst time to be outside>melting heat>god damn it I wont be even able to convert to islam and join the mullahs>ofc now Iran has to go into war mode>I just seem to be cursed in the west>I dont wanna go to the west>there seems to be n0thing there for me besides misery
>too hungry since too many hours>not in the mood what aunt made>dont wanna go to her apartment>also declining pool time with them>just laying around in my bed at cousins place>I guess if I bother at all its gonna be the iranian pizza again>being alive is too much of a hustle desu>why couldnt they get another son reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>bite off my finger nails and its skin too much>my fingers hurt>make a coffee for whatever reason>this mess could have been avoided if I just met the right person to keep me going but n0 im cursed>im too needy n clingy to function longterm solo
i don't even fucking care you're so boring
>>79347289Here ur free (You) desu
i wasn't fishing for that, i saged for a reason
>>79347367I know lolHabe another one(1)
yeah that's not incredibly annoying and an easy way to get people to hate you
>stomach keeps making noises>go out to get my iranian pizza>traffic is way too high for a monday>streets are too crowded too>people looking at me like that makes me paranoid that my dick is out>have to double check to make sure its in my pants>come back with my pizza>dunno what to watch>the manhattan alien abduction on netflix>ig that will do>eat in bed>okies I better stop watching that>even if they are all just schizo>ayylien stories can scare me too much>should most likely take a shower and then try to sleep desu>>79347393ur funny desuhere another (You) for u
>was being a lil bold and asked if the offer is still up for me to grab it>I mean I would get to move away far from dad and get a neat bonus for a japan travel>I have to go back to work and talk in person about it>thats a gamble>my mental state is going to be another gamble>damn it>during corona you could change ur flight date for free with my airline>not anymore>I just wanna fly back and see how it goes>now im anxious about that potential No.>feel like I wanna vomit out the pizza I just ateFUCK>>79347393u should wish me luck I will go back focusing on being a wagie if that works out desu
>maybe I should just quit befor my first day >this new feel about it is killing me
>imagine showing up after around 3 months again>and then having the nerve to ask to be greenlight for a transfer>I rather disappear for forever
>150 bucks to fly back on wednesday instead of saturday>welp I still have enough money saved up>to be desu the real issue is parents cant pick me up befor saturday>taking the train could be a nightmare>seems like I have to wait this out
>go to the pool2swim>le fear of sharks in the pool while im aloneI swear going to swim alone is much more terrifying than skydiving to meI would do it again anyday if it wasnt fucking 800 bucks over here
>tell cousin what happened>"so when did you got that offer?">mid september I didnt knew>she is like OMFG FUCKFACE I SHOULD BEAT YOU WITH A SHOE>welp too many things were hurting me and its not like I tamed my bpd fully yet>at least im staying away from alcohol since april things could be worse ayy>plus I should be able to stay away from the greens when im back home>I should still get a english quran and start studying it>just in case things dont work out and its a global nothing burger so im rdy to become a mullah as emergency plan>I habe relatives who worked for him and my dad has a picture with ahmadinedschad>so its not like im full schizo about it to be desu>my equal to art school is gonna be a western bf or gf
>https://littlethingsme.com/products/nendoroid-cerberus-singleI think I need this nendoroid for my collection to be desu
>US aunt said she is getting to vote for trump for me>trump is ready to bully the mullah regime away>even putin seems to rather go back to keep lowkey>he probably has enough headaches cause north korean troops being just a bunch of goofballs and not the Geheimwaffe he hoped for>I always have to sabotage myself somehow>ig for that dark path its for the best desu
>https://youtube.com/shorts/coIIKX1p988?si=EF61heOw5gBrG2x1>okies even if that lady was on it its still bretty funny desu>01:40AM>seem to be sleepy enough>should just stfu and sleep
>tfw no one to cuddle to sleep withthe true horror