Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportI'm still alive editionSaying hello to the nice people, saying f you to the bad ones!>How are you doing today?>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
Some useful resources in case anyone needs it:> Iong list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7>a first aid post cutting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic>a bpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read>a iIIustrated self harm care guide (thank you Sisyphus!!!)https://styro.sh
And some more important info
I'm off to uni.
>>79425304BRO STOP CUTTING YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!
>>79425304Hey saka thanks for the thread c:hopefully uni goes by fast Hello everyone o/
hello peoplei am awake and i literally cannot recall what happened last night, but regardless i woke up to my dealer messaging me that he posted my weed thru the letterbox thing in my door.yay! though i think my bloodsugar is low, i am shivvering and it's not cold.
>>79425304sending love (in a hetero way) to everyone here
avatar posting is illegal, I sure hope new jannies clean these threads up.
>>79425923you must really, really be eyeing for power if you want us shut down for having fun.
>>79425979I just think avatar posting is cringe, and avatar posting for multiple years is giga cringe. Why havent you killed yourself already is the question I really want the answer to.
>>79425534>Hey saka thanks for the thread c:Don't mention it.>hopefully uni goes by fastI hope so too. I'm already tired. >>79425979Don't bother.
>>79426024>I just thinkah, so you're capable of thought? impressive. if only you used that ability to understand that what you think will never be law. truly a shame, hm?>Why havent you killed yourself alreadywe, unlike you, have a purpose to fulfill. your purpose is to be a nuisance to everyone. i would assume that this disrespect you have for us, doesn't apply to others outside of this online website. what i want to know is why you continue to cower behind anonymity, running your mouth all afraid of what would happen if you said this to people in person.
>>79426087>Don't bother.yeah, you're right. it's a shame these sorts of folk are incapable of civility, lashing out at anything they dislike as "cringe" and should be "cleaned up by jannies."it's pathetic, yet all the same; megalomaniacs displeased with their sheer powerlessness.
>>79426141>>79426159your reddit spacing and pseudointellectualism is dripping. I can see why you have no friends and you scream out for attention with self harm. Enjoy your day, nigga.
>>79426173sorry i have standards, buddo. take care.
>>79426173lmfaooooo so based
>>79425579ntai actually like leddit spacing because i have dyslexia and sometimes its difficult to make sense of what's on my screen when someone posts a fucking essay
back from uni ughh>>79425579Hey o/are you having a hangover?>bloodsugar is low, i am shivveringthis is what causes that?!>>79425919Thank youusending love your way too>>79425923boo hoo >:3 >>79426087>hope so too. I'm already tiredwhen you're back tell us how it went
>>79425409Good luck!>>79425579Have you eaten something lately?>>79426141Objekt, it's best not to talk to animals>>79427169What did you learn?
Hey guys, things seem to have taken a turn for the worse. I had a really bad episode of schizophrenia this sunday and now im in a ward again. Im going to try my best rn but its really hard for me to even exist atm. I hope everyone else is doing good atleast.Chev out
>>79425304theres still dried blood on my floor from cutting and faiting a few nights ago.
>>79427289>>79427321Congrats guys, I'm giving you the attention you see! We all love you guys! Dont worry! #styro #unloveable #deep
>>79427289I hope you get better soon. Is the ward not unpleasant?>>79427321When I am struggling to complete a task, I try counting down from 10
>>79427252hello kira :Dwats up?>What did you learn?nothing really :/just tired >>79427289Heyo chevalier>seem to have taken a turn for the worsecrap>and now im in a ward againthat's scarysorry to hear this fren :<wishing you the best, take it easy >>79427321Hi clean it up dummy ^^>faitingyou mean fainting!!?? D;
>>79427464>is the ward not unpleasentFor me right now it's absolute hell. Im cut off from basically all friends n family, and stuck w a bunch of strangers im honestly scared and wary of.>>79427810Hey cat, i wish i had better news lol. Im trying my best but i dont feel like im going to make it if im being honest. Im js tired of it all and wish it was over
>>79427169oh hey cat-chan>are you having a hangover?lulz yeah, well barely. i was drinking a lot last night but i woke up totally fine. shirt was dyed maroon from blood though, cut my arm and i don't even remember doing it>this is what causes that?!yeah! low blood sugar can cause shivering n shit, usually it happens after a night of drinking for most cuz alcohol suppresses your liver's glucose production>>79427252hello kira-chan>Have you eaten something lately?i'm having some baked potato and more of that mayo i made with tuna, i'm good now. thank you.>it's best not to talk to animalsreally? but i love arguing so much!>>79427289>had a really bad episode of schizophrenia this sunday and now im in a ward againmy mother and i get them too, i hope you're okay. be brave chev-chan, i believe in you!>>79427321>theres still dried blood on my flooras pretty as blood is, you might wanna clean it up. dried blood smells so bad dude.
I'm fucking compelled to put a rope (guitar cable in this case) around my neck when I get home.Fucking convince me not to do it. I have an appointment with a psychologist and a psychiatrist this week, but I don't think I can hold on any longer.It's fucking unbearable.
>>79427965Hey objekt. Im trying my best to hold on rn ig. Its hard but ive calmed down a bit luckily
>>79428371>Its hard but ive calmed down a bit luckilyi know it is. i know too well how hard it is, but you're here with us right now and we are always stronger together. though we might not be perfect substitutes for family and what not, we'll do our best to support you.
>>79425304struggling a lot latelyhaven't self harmed through cutting in over a decade, when i did used to self harm it was only for a few months, moved on and kept it to myselflately i've been struggling with life, and there comes nights where the distractions stop workingcan't focus on the games, voices in the youtube videos become annoying, the music doesn't engage with mewhen this starts to happen i just fucking spiral, i start bargaining with myselfi could just pack everything up and fuck off somewhere else, i could just pack a bag and go roam the streets, i could shift my focus in life to simply survivinganything to push aside the thought of suicide that's becoming oh so fucking strongwhen the bargaining doesn't work anymore i just want distraction, such a strong urge to slash myself, to stab myself, to do fucking somethingit becomes so overwhelming, too overwhelming, i needed distraction, i didn't want to turn to cutting myselfi just punched the wall until the pain was so severe i couldn't bring myself to do it anymoreknuckles immediately bruising, thought i may have broken them, never seen bruising and swelling appear so suddenlythe pain calmed me, it gave me something to focus on, to think aboutit got me through the peak of the thoughts, i could sit back down at the computer and engage in other less harmful distractionsuntil they crept back, and i returned to punch the wall again, the pain even stronger than beforei'm sat here, flexxing my fist, shaking my hand, focusing on the painnow i have a new problem to think abouthow do i hide it? the swelling, the bruising, it's starkthankfully it's winter, i can wear gloves, but i have a shift at the range tomorrow where i may have to writei can't write in these glovesi'm just hoping i can cover the range and not have to handle any paperwork
>>79427916>dont feel like im going to make it if im being honestthat sounds very bad :<I think you should give yourself some time, I understand why you'd feel that way right after what just happened but stay strong!>>79427965>>79427965>>79427965>don't even remember doing itthat's scary I think you shouldnt drink >happens after a night of drinkingI seewell go eat a snack then :>>>79428345Hey saka I think you should wait with stuff like this especially that you have a psychologist and a psychiatrist appointments Just wait and see what happens frenJust few more days
>>79428543Hey anon >struggling a lot latelydang>haven't self harmed through cutting in over a decade,that's at least good, well done anon :>>knuckles immediately bruising, thought i may have broken them, never seen bruising and swelling appear so suddenlyit is possible they're broken>how do i hide it?you do need toit's normal to accidentally injure your hand sometimes but you should visit a doctor
>>79426173xd true, mf joins outta nowhere, spams, talks like a reddior and cries xd
>>79428701I'll try to hold on. But I'm at the verge of just necking myself out of existence.I can't fucking do this no more.I'll either give up on this term and come back next term, no academic prejudice whatsoever in regards to grades, or I'll convince a professor of mine to let me do the exam at another time.I'm not in the right state of mind to even leave my room.I just wanna off myself really. I'll see about hell with the Lord later on, when I'm on the other side. But I'm going there for what I know.I can't fucking take it anymore. I can't fucking take it anymore. I just wanna sleep for fucking ever, why would this be so much to ask for? Isn't God supposed to be merciful?
>>79428730>it is possible they're brokenvery unlikely, still have full range of motion and the swelling isn't too severe>it's normal to accidentally injure your hand sometimesit's extremely obvious that the bruising and swelling is from striking something with my fisti do not know how i could explain it away as anything innocenthad a realisation i could just cut the tips off of my old gloves, i could probably write with fingerless gloves
Things continue on. It seems to have peaked and won't continue to peak . Been taking it easy as possible with all the confusion. Disordered thoughts are the official nomenclature and accurate . I refuse to admit myself and for now my care team accepts that I am not a danger to myself or others in this current episode. I can keep myself and others safe . I am whole. I keep ending up outside barefoot in the rain when everyone is asleep finding myself doing something very important and realizing I've been obeying Spirits for some time and doing rituals again . Hard to sleep even with the meds. End up awake all night some nights . Try to nap. Trying to nap.>>79427916Staff will keep you safe . Strangers won't hurt you there. Enjoy the free food. I hope they have decent food. Remember to ask for sleeping aids if you can't sleep . Sleep is king when inpatient with schizophrenia. Everyone else there is also struggling. Do they have art classes? They are always a brilliant shining light in my inpatient time.
God bless my friends. I'll try not to rope myself, at least until Friday.
>>79428930>convince a professor of mine to let me do the exam at another time.>I'm not in the right state of mind to even leave my room.Sounds like a plan :3that might be the right thing to do>>79428942>still have full range of motion and the swelling isn't too severethat's goodmaybe you should put it in some ice?? would that help with the swelling >extremely obvious that the bruising and swelling is from striking something with my fistyes but it's not obvious what maybe you were pulling on something while working in the garage and your hand slipped and hit the floor Happens to me sometimes >>79429073Hello ^^ it's nice to see you >peaked and won't continue to peakat least it can't get any worse >taking it easy as possibleGood job anon :3glad to hear you're doing that>keep ending up outside barefoot in the rainwow pretty scary but at least it sorta harmless if you manage to get back home quickly >Hard to sleep even with the medscould imagination something cute could help?>Try to nap. Trying to nap.if you are have a lovely nap :>>>79429097yay ^^you get to live another day Stay strong out there :<
>>79429150I'm changing my mind. I'm already home.I don't wanna be alive tomorrow onwards.
>>79429339nooomaybe just go to bed and sleep instead:<
>>79429385Yeah, sleep just so that I can wake up tomorrow and the bullshit cycle of humiliation starts over again. I'll pass on that.
>>79429417>cycl starts overbut it won't if you do what you planned here >>79428930you'd get a break
>>79429447I'd still have to go to uni at some point.I'd still have to face life itself.I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm fucking afraid of hell, but I'm starting to think that it's best to take the chances that God may have mercy on me.They say if you are head-fucked enough you may have diminished culpability of your sins, but I've been sinning everyday for the past years. And I don't know how many confessions were valid, and I don't know if I truly have a problem or not. For what I care I'm just an attention whore.Honestly, I'm tired of keep trying. I try over and over again, and things get worse. I'm tempted everyday by a reality that could've been and isn't.And it's fucking painful to realize that things won't ever get better. Best case scenario I'll delude myself into thinking things are better, and that'd be 10, 15 years from now at best. And just then I'll start building a stable and normal life that my peers already achieved at an age younger than me at the moment. And that's assuming I'll manage to delude myself into an echo-chamber of "life is beautiful"-ness. I don't want this anymore, I don't want to be alive anymore.
>>79429339saka, are you still here? please stay.
>>79429539Still here.No, I don't think I want to.I'm sorry I have to bother you guys with this. I mean, I don't have to, it's just that deep down I want to change my mind, and I can't seem to do it by myself.
>>79429532>For what I care I'm just an attention whore.i honestly dont think that, i think that there is a difference between attention whore, and a cry for help / wanting to hear something possitive. >I'm fucking afraid of hellquestion, you dont have to answer, but if you belive in hell, do you belive in heaven?>I try over and over again, and things get worse.if you keep trying, it cant stay like this, it has to get better sometimes. >>79429576Honestly i care about you, i do. i dont know you personally. i cant lie about that, but for the past few days, i have noticed you and a few others. i would understand if you wont belive me if i say that i would miss you, but i think i would.i dont think that you should just leave. I dont know if you can talk about this kind of problems with anyone, do it. it will propably help. sure it isnt easy talking about problems to others, but i really belive taht you can do it. it is difficult, but i think that suicide isnt the right solution.
>>79429618>cry for help / wanting to hear something possitive.I don't know if I actually have a problem. I might be making things up. >do you belive in heaven?I do. And I also believe most people won't end up there.Well, God doesn't disclose any statistics, insofar as he stays silent all the time. But I guess it's safe to assume that most people can't live up to the Catholic church's standards of being in a state of grace by the time of death. So yeah, I may very well burn for ever.>if you keep trying, it cant stay like this, it has to get better sometimes.Life will oscillate through a low misery axis, sometimes going a bit up. But it's still miserable. I'll keep trying, just to get at best a pathetic infinitesimal upshift that won't amount to anything worthwhile in the grand scheme of things.>Honestly i care about you>but i think i would.I appreciate it. But I'm not sure how a miserable, allegedly depressed cunt, would be of some importance. I should be of no fucking importance. I can't do anything right, I only ramble a lot of nonsense at all times, I'm slow, I'm forgettable, I stall everyone and everything at all times, I stain everything I touch with marks of my undesirable being, spoiling it from any previous qualities.>sure it isnt easy talking about problems to othersI did enough of that at the party last Saturday, at a not so sober state of mind. I made a joke out of myself to some, and freaked out others.>i think that suicide isnt the right solution.I want to believe that. I fucking want to believe that. But each day that passes it gets harder to rule out suicide.
>>79429824>I don't know if I actually have a problem. I might be making things up.no matter if you do or dont, you need help. no shame in that, and you should talk about it>I do. And I also believe most people won't end up there.honestly, i dont really know, but if you fear hell, why wont you visit church? i am not forcing you or anything, i just find it smart, cuz you get to know god better.>But I guess it's safe to assume that most people can't live up to the Catholic church's standards honestly in my opinion you shouldnt be comparing yourself to the norm in a catholic church. they had different live than you.you should take smaller steps. >I did enough of that at the party last Saturday,i dont think that party is a good place for that, you should talk about it sober, and with someone you trust.>Life will oscillate through a low misery axis, sometimes going a bit up.i honestly dont think that this design is bad. if you didnt felt sad sometimes, you cant feel happy, because you dont know the difference, its important to realize that you are at the sadder end of the oscill. and that you need to hang on for just a little more time.>I can't do anything right, I only ramble a lot of nonsense at all times, I'm slow, I'm forgettable, I stall everyone and everything at all times, I stain everything I touch with marks of my undesirable being, spoiling it from any previous qualities.honestly quit talking about yourself this way, i struggle with this too, but honestly its really fucked way to express emotions. if i talk like this out loud, or type them or whatever... they become more real than my thoughts, it really is a bad thing. i cant say taht i know how you feel, but i think in a simmilar way about myself. i think that you really should stop talking this bad to yourself
>>79429618Ngl Ive been lurking for a while but I cant just stay on the sidelines just reading what you have to say and stay silent Im not gonna say i know what your going through i dont could say ive been in your shoes but no one really understands your life more than you With that said its easy to fall into a trap that your sense of self and perspective on yourself and the end all be all that maybe you dont like the way you are right now and that its logical that the people around you view you in that wayThere are an endless amount of people with opinions about you who tell you what to do but there is only one person in the entire universe that does exist only once and thats you Sakamoto There is only one of you theres no shame in not having everything figured out and its okay to be struggling The fact that you wish to rule out suicide That kind of effort even if it feels like its barely scraping by is every much worth acknowledging It is something We love you Saka we dont want to see you gone. <3
>>79429824Sorry, i refreshed my brower, smthing about no ascii text, and clicked on the most recent reply
>>79430025im not sakamotoo xdd sorryyy
>>79430025i got scared that smth i said was wrong/bad(that you replied to me), sorry if i did. i hope it helped you atleast a little saka
>>79430040lmao yeah i know, i didnt notice you posted, thought the most recent was sakamoto
I think I'll not do it, today at least. Tomorrow morning I'll write to the course coordinator and ask for help in regards to unenrollment in this term. I'll be staying home. On the bright side, Dragon Quest 3 remake releases this week. Guess I'll be playing it. One damn good reason to stay alive for a bit more.>>79429976>you need helpI know. Thankfully, my father and brother can help me pay for the mental health assistance I need.>why wont you visit church? I've been attending Sunday mass for the past 2-2.5 years (roughly), until I wasn't anymore. I'm tired of festive music during mass, people waving their hands around and clapping as if life is beautiful.>you should take smaller stepsAnd that's fucking humiliating, honestly.I feel like a crippled man trying to walk up a few steps on a long staircase, still at the bottom, while my peers are already reaching the top at sonic speed.>i dont think that party is a good place for thatBecause it isn't. But I was drunk, and I was already anticipating my way through the easy way out. I should've stayed home.>because you dont know the differenceI don't recall what being genuinely happy is like. Everyday, I'm either angry or depressed. Maybe even both. >honestly quit talking about yourself this wayMy peers already say stuff like this about me. I just gotta realize that they are right."You are kinda forgettable""Don't talk to him! He'll just stall you for 50min!""You're kinda slow"Too tired to remember other stuff. But all three was the girl who said it. One was last week, another was today, and another was some weeks ago. I've talked about her a few times here.
>>79430025Thanks irkador. And I'm sorry I've been a cunt with all of you for the last couple days.I'm just tired. Yeah, I know there's only one "me" in the universe, but no defective part on the cog is desirable to stay there. And once this part of machinery is sentient and knows it's defective, dissatisfaction follows.But I'll try to hold on. It's been a fucking big struggle just to stay alive, but I'll try a bit more.
>>79430167picrel >>79429539>>79430025Hey anon hey Irkador o/hope you fellas and having a nice day thanks for being here
hello friends. dont know how to feel about this, but it looks like im going to start cutting again. just like before. going to be lonely for a while. got nothing to do on evenings now
>>79430138>I think I'll not do it:D yaaay> I'm tired of festive music during mass, people waving their hands around and clapping as if life is beautiful.desu same, i really didnt liked all the 2 faced ppl who were there, but i dont think that churches are a bad place. they just need to be more empathetic. to care more about others than about themselfs, to help where is needed. but they just... idk its not like this everywhere>I don't recall what being genuinely happy is like.yea. desu i dont know why but i kidna relate to this.i sometimes struggle with suicide as well, but i cant fathom letting someone else die when i can help (sorry for oversharing)>My peers already say stuff like this about me.they are dickheads, i cant imagine saying this about someone, to someones face even. I think you should just stop talking to them i dont know how you got to know eachother, how deep your relationship is, but from what i can read here, they are really mean to you and its bothering you.i really dont know how to say this without beeing a asshole who is sticking his nose where he shouldnt, but they sound like a total pieces of shit. talk to someone else.>Too tired to remember other stuff. But all three was the girl who said it.yeacut her off its not worth to talk to people like this. literaly dont bother explaining, just ghost them. its not easy, but it will be better in a long run. it will propably help with your self confidence too>I've talked about her a few times here. yea i remember what you said about her.its not a good person. in my opinion, its not a good idea to talk to mean ppl.i hope you feel better. good night if you plan to go to sleep>Dragon Quest 3 remake releases this weeksounds funtell me what you liked about it when you finish it.
>>79430167jesus christ man, you're always crying for attention. Plleeeeasssse care about me guys! PLEASE! Im so tirrreeeddd XDDD
>>79430298>but it looks like im going to start cutting again.:c sorry to hear this.if you want to talk about it more we can>just like before. going to be lonely for a whilewhy so?do you have some pet? :D i heard that cats can help a lot im sorry to read smth like this
>>79430298Hey o/>going to start cutting againI don't think you should but at the same time I am not very surprised :/like, cutting or not you're miserable either way and I'd say that real issue that has to be solved is not cutting, it's why you're cutting But also you have enough issues as is and idk if adding another one is good
>>79430355i have my cat right here. but dont be sorry for me, i dont see self harm as something very bad. >>79430390the real issue would be bothering with hiding the wounds, thats all. and yes this outcome was extremely predictable
>>79430477oh, sorry.yea just please dont cut deep. stay safe
>>79430477supporting what nice anon says>>79430577stay safe imma sleep now goobnight
really late to the thread since work is a chaotic mess and i spent the past hour getting barked at by a very small woman. Wasn't going to post but...>>79430138i know everyone else has said it quite a lot already, but just try to get through to the end of the week.Both so you can get help talking to people and enjoying those little things you look forward to, even if games don't seem like enough.Hope everyone trying to reach you and talk you out of it shows everyone here cares and worries a great deal about you got me to post a night I probably wasn't going to>>79429539are you the same anon i called nice the other day? glad to have you here either way. Bit chaotic sometimes and glad people are here when other regulars are busy>>79430025well said. Glad you're here and hope classes are treating you well. I'm swamped with my work now but will get it figured out
>>79427289hope you're okay man. know that's probably miserable, but hope it'll do some good as well and get help there>>79425579hey objekti saw a little last thread and felt bad. I try to reply everyone as often as possible when I see people cropping up in here, but gets a bit busy since I'm working 2 jobs and schedule is all over the place these days.Just want to know we do want you here and don't need to stress over things. take care>>79430298hi juuzou anontake care like everyone else says
>>79430577>>79430633>>79430753mm-hm thanks
>>79430680:D im still trying to be nice, im scared to get a name to myself tho.but yea i am the same :33
>>79430794you remind me of me back when i had started this whole cutting thing
Hey. I'm finally not sick anymore. I'm kinda scared I may have a infection :/. I was supposed to go to the doctor yesterday but I wasn't sick or anything.
Jeez some people can be so stupid, my parents asked me to go to a farmers market near my house, so i leave to grab some cucumbers or smthing, i pick up the phone to 4 missed calls, 2 from my dad, one from my mom and one from my brother. I call my dad worried, and they just wanted to know where i was. Like wooow jeez i wonder too, maybe the goddamn fucking farmers market you told me to go to.>>79430167> I'm sorry I've been a cunt with all of you for the last couple days.nah bro, im glad your talking with us <3 dont worry about it>>79430633Goodnight cat!>>79430680Hey office!.>i spent the past hour getting barked at by a very small womanlmao wtf why?> Glad you're here and hope classes are treating you wellthanks office, classes are going well, im on data structures, seems simple but setting them up is weird. stacks linked list binarytrees etc.>>79430825Hey gator! > I'm finally not sick anymore. I'm kinda scared I may have a infection :/glad to hear it, how you feeling now?
>>79430813oh im happy to? xd i really dont know but ty:D i try even tho i feel like its never enough
>>79430794good to see you friend, hope you're having a good week so far>scared to get a name to myself tho.no need if you don't want to, but doesn't need to be too thought out either. I always talked about my office so kinda just stuck>>79430825hey gator!glad you're feeling a bit better. >kinda scared I may have a infectionmy worry for a bit but finally better myself , just take care>>79430900>maybe the goddamn fucking farmers market you told me to go to.lol at least you know they care xD>lmao wtf why?i have one very, very significant weakness in life and it leads me to make decisions I know I shouldn't, though this was kinda funny and no permanent damage between me and anyone (i think)>im on data structuresthese will be the topic of 90% of all interviews you have in the future lol but yeah not too bad, just make sure you learn how to traverse them and it make sense practically
>>79430680>i spent the past hour getting barked at by a very small womanthats actually fucking nasty. i hate all of them. speaking of hating, i hate mostly everyone, how everyone dresses, acts, and thinks. but weirdly i just know how to behave and act with people. like naturally. i know i sound edgy and all, but im not doing it on purpose. surely im such a lover because i hate everyone else.>>79430825i spent 80 bucks yesterday to find out i have perfect hearing>>79430904just ride the wave, but i dont think you will stay like that forever. dont take it negatively though, people change
>>79431147no no im not like this irl, dont take me wrong, i jsut can express emotions and what i think/feel here, i dont feel scared as mutch, i have real bad social anxiety, and i even here delete posts i wanted to post here.im just sad when i see sad ppl and i try to help them as mutch as i can.idk i feel like im anoying on the other side.sorry if i am
>>79431147oh there I go crying again, lost my love in this smelly world
>>79431223youre not being annoying at all, i appreciate the attention. too bad others went to sleep or else
>>79430900>Jeez some people can be so stupidThey are definitely very forgetful, it's weird not even one of them remembered.>Hey gator!Hai irkador :)>glad to hear it, how you feeling now?I'm physically feeling good. How are you feeling?>>79431136>hey gator!Heya officeanon :D>glad you're feeling a bit better.Thanks. I am to.>my worry for a bit but finally better myselfI am happy your Better.>just take careI try, but I am very stupid.>>79431147>i spent 80 bucks yesterday to find out i have perfect hearing80 bucks is a lot, but that's good you have perfect hearing. My hearing is awful.
>>79427810I've been watching Netflix all day>>79427916I'm sorry to hear that. Is there at least visitation?>>79427965>but i love arguing so much!So do they though. It brings them back and shits up the thread for everyone. I love a good internet fight too, but not at the cost of the cozy vibes here>>79428345The fact you are asking to be convinced in itself shows you have doubts
>>79431238thank you, why did you think that i was simmilar to you? like, im really interested :D>>79431407helloo :3
>>79431416i too wanted to help all around i guess
>>79431438oh, what changed? if you want to talk about it
>>79431446ph 10 boooooooomp
>>79425304i've never been here before. am i the only one who bites my arms? i bite hard up and down my arms until the entire thing is red and swollen. i don't draw that much blood. is this even doing much damage or is this fine
Bumping on teh page ten
hello page 8 my old friend
>>79434934I've come to talk with you again
Hey. I ended up disappearing last night because I was too fucking tired. I'm arranging my leave of absence from uni, for this semester. I can't keep going, need to take care of myself. This will hurt me in the long run, but no matter the course of action I'll end up suffering from it in some way or another.Thank you all for helping me out yesterday.I'll try to get better. I quickly escalated to the most insufferable and loathsome person in the department, my grades have been suffering these past semesters, some days I can't stop thinking about suicide and everyday is a struggle to just get through the day.I know things won't get better, I just hope I can be a bit more tolerable of a person without the need to stay quiet and "forgettable" all the time.Once again, thank you for helping me.
>>79428701Honestly I was hoping id never be in a ward ever again since the first time. But that was me being very optimistic ig>>79429073The food isnt terrible and art therapy was decently fun. I do feel incredibly judged by the other patients tho>>79431407Afaik im not allowed visitations yet. Im not allowed anything tbf since im still considered a high suicide riskLinkin park and deftones have been saving my life in here haha. Luckily i can still use 4chan n stuff when i have phone time
>>79435361hello how are you doing today ?oriori
>>79436071Doing okay. Allowed 1 visit today. Mom is gonna bring me cigs and some snacks i think
>>79435355I think you have made a smart choice. Taking care of yourself is a good priority, don't let any idiot convince you otherwise.>>79435361Kind of crazy that they let you use 4chan before letting friends visit you to be frank
I'm in a depression episode at the moment and idk whats causing itI'm going to spend the weekend at my mother's so I can sleep and eat whatever I wantI have been sleeping for over 13 hours a day for the past week
Good day everyone >>79437350hey bib>going to spend the weekend at my mother'shave a nice time hopefully you feel better soon
nom nom eating slop right now
>>79435355no worries, im glad you are fine after all. im happy that you are still here :)if anything, just say so i will try to be here again :)
i once again feel the urge to cry, the immense urge to curl up and die.i cant cry tho i cant force tears to come out of my eyes.i feel weird in my stomachi fucking hate myself so mutch. i dont know waht to do. i cant do anything. sorry for talking like this. sorry
>>79438483>>79438483Hi anon :3>feel the urge to cry, the immense urge to curl up and die.sorry to hear this :<I know it's not be but I'm wishing you the best,okaystay strong >sorry for talking like this.>sorryit's completely okay I hope letting it out made you feel better
just so i know is this thread like 100% namefagging and inner circles? should i not even try to post here?
>>79438861Hey anondon't worry it's not inner circles, we just have names because when we were all anonymous it was difficult to tell each other apart>should i not even try to postYou are welcome to post ^^we won't ignore you it's not one if those threads
Hey everyone.I'm still kinda scared I may have a infection :(
>>79439522:c im so sorry to hear this. i really hope you dont.
>>79439522Hey Ali :DD:why do you think soo???
>>79439551Thanks anon, i hope I don't either>>79439559>Hey Ali :DHey cat!>why do you think soo???It's just a pretty deep wound and it looks a bit weird idk.
>>79439812>looks a bit weird idk.can you describe it in a little bit more detal? what's wierd about it?
>>79439893It's a bit red and there's some yellow weird stuff on it.
>>79440062It's a bit concerning bit yellow stuff is normal, It doesn't immediately mean infection Does is still hurt or feeling inflamed? does it selll bad?
>>79440090>It's a bit concerning bit yellow stuff is normalI thought so :(>Does is still hurt or feeling inflamed?It doesn't hurt when I touch it, idk if it's inflamed it may be :/>does it selll bad?It smells a bit different not that bad though but idk
>>79440163>thought so :(don't be sad fren :>>doesn't hurt when I touch it,that's good >idk if it's inflamed it may be :/how old is it?>not that bad though but idkwell is it was infected it can smell really strong and bad so it's probably not How was your day besides that?
>>79440280>don't be sad fren :>It's hard.>how old is it?It's 10 days old.>well is it was infected it can smell really strong and badThat's good to know, I'm still scared.>How was your day besides that?It was okay, very boring. How was your day?
>>79440383idk if that's a good idea but maybe you could send me a pic of it somewhere so I could take a look at it and calm you down a little >I'm still scaredsending hugsmy day was boring too and very cold be I'm okay now I'm in bed chilling wbu? are you playing anything?
Oh hey sakamoto is still here after claiming he was gonna kill himself (again) lmao. Bet the rush from all the people asking you not to was so good.
>>79438904The whole point of anonymity is that you cant tell eachother apart. You should check out reddit.
>>79440433>idk if that's a good idea but maybe you could send me a pic of itWell I definitely wouldn't want to send it here.>sending hugsThank you :) your very nice>my day was boring too and very cold be I'm okay nowAww that's a shame then. I hope being inside is nice for you.>I'm in bed chilling wbu?That's nice. I'm doing about the same just watching YouTube.>are you playing anything?Not now, but that's a good idea I'll play something.
>>79440697>definitely wouldn't want to send it here.yeah I know I thought maybe discord.. but maybe better not either way it would be best for a doc to take a look >your very niceyou are welcome fren>hope being inside is nice for you.yes ^^>doing about the same just watching YouTube.enjoy >I'll play somethingwhatcha gonna play??I'll probably eep soon
>>79440737>I thought maybe discord.That could work.>but maybe better notYeah maybe.>either way it would be best for a doc to take a lookYeah I know, just scared to have to tell my parents :/>yes ^^That's really good then :)>whatcha gonna play??Idk maybe metal gear solid 2.>I'll probably eep soonOkay I hope you sleep well <3
>>79440873>scared to have to tell my parents :/hm.. maybe the pic idea isn't that bad then...Would you be comfortable with that?hm well talk about it tomorrow okay
just a little bumping as a treat
>>79438064What flavor?>>79438483There is no need to apologize. This is the place to vent like this>>79439522What are the symptoms?>>79440062Yellow is always a bad sign. Please wash and monitor.If it continues this way, seek medical aid
>>79441090>maybe the pic idea isn't that bad then...Yeah maybe >Would you be comfortable with that?Yeah as long as you are.>hm well talk about it tomorrow okaySounds good. Goodnight >>79442052>What are the symptoms?It's a bit red, it's a bit yellow.>Yellow is always a bad sign. Yeah that's what really scares me :(>Please wash and monitor.I am trying my best.>If it continues this way, seek medical aidOkay, I am very scared about having to talk to my parents. How are you doing kira?
offering a bump during these hours
Cuts are wards.So cut runes.
The world should be better.I should be much more carefuller with who I give even the slightest abstractions/dimensions of my energy/attention/intentions to. I need to meditate on this.
Bye everyone >>79443296>The world should be better.That's true.>who I give even the slightest abstractions/dimensions of my energy/attention/intentions to.Yeah that probably is best to do.>I need to meditate on this.I hope it was a good meditation session.
a bump for you guys
>>79436071Just tryna survive i guess. How about you?>>79437304Its blocked on the wifi but im using cellular rn
>>79443056>>79444607bless the bumpers
I believe in /cat/ supremacy
>>79442052Gib me Kira_Chan mommy immediately. Tuck me in and call me good boy to assert dominance.
>>79442313I am doing wellIs it sore or tender? More than usual for a cut, I mean.Wash it daily. Do not use pure alcohol to clean it as that can further irritate the cut. Dilute with water, or preferably stick to a gentle soap and water.>>79445341I see, that makes more sense>>79446001Have you been a good boy? I doubt it
Scratched all up my arm in a few hours-long intensified episode without intending to or realizing I was making clawing motions with my nails and dragging them repeatedly up and down my arm even after the skin came off and blood was smearing everywhere. I sometimes feel guiltier when I harm myself unintentionally or by accident due to altered mental state than when I intentionally harm to control symptoms. I don't know. It's sore and tight and the scabs are forming.
These ppl force me to get medical attention ever day. It fucking sucks, i already know its infected and it itches so bad. Wtaf am i even doing here, its pointless. Js let me drop already, even assholes like me cant carry on forever. Fuck this. Pic is some drawing i did here kek
>>79446819I'm amazed they're allowing someone with a psychosis-related disorder to have access to their device while inpatient. I have never once been allowed access to my device when admitted for schizophrenia symptoms. They specifically take it from me because they won't allow psychosis patients to have phones, even with the camera taped for HIPAA. This has been the case in 4 US states.
>>79446432I know what you are bro
>>79446452I have done similar. It happens. I understand feeling guiltier because you don't get to choose it.Have you cleaned up?>>79446819I like your drawing>>79446933I've known people allowed phone access while in psych>>79446937The cutest one in the whole world_
>>79447125>phone access while in psychPhone access while in a psych unit is not abnormal. Phone access while in schizophrenic psychosis while in a psych unit is not standard operating procedure. Is all I was sayin. It's an odd choice by the staff, and one that will do a great disservice to many of their patients. I would have done much worse personally if I were given a phone while inpatient.
Lets help millions of Philistina, Lebanese, and Slavs migrate across the world. At utmost speed.
>>79447125>I understand feeling guiltier because you didn't get to choose itI don't really understand why it makes me feel worse, it just does. I cleaned up and put cream on to protect it. I can't bandage it because the whole forearm is raw and open in most places.
hey everyone. was sick for a bit. i'm better in that regard, but feel awful in every other way today. worst it's been in a very long time. i thought about staying away, but maybe just posting will help me deal with it somehow. hope you're all doing ok.
>>79447644I'm glad you're physically feeling better, at least. Sorry you're struggling a lot right now. I am too. I don't really have any sage advice to give. I wish you the best.
>>79447644helloo, im happy to hear that you are not sick anymore :)>worst it's been in a very long time.:c im really sorry to hear this. i wish i could help in some other ways than just to write something, but i really hope you can make it okay.it maybe wont help, but try to distract yourself :D maybe a movie or some nice videogame, or a nice book .i even heard that drinking water can help a little.good luck if anything i will try to reply.(sorry i feel like im kinda anoying sorry if i am)
I need to cut so fucking bad but i cant im losing my fucking mind they took everything
>>79447944im so sorry to hear this:c please just take care, dont go too deep.if you can atleast try to do something different, try it.i really hope you just can make it fine.
>>79446452Hello :>>Scratched all up my arm in a few hours-long intensified episodescaryI hope you cleaned it we and patched yourself upHopefully something like this doesn't happen again >>79446819Heyo>know its infecteddamn>force me to get medical attention ever dayYou might not like it but I think it is the correct thing to do>>79447125Hey kira o/>>79447644Hey hey Yuanon :3Make sure to take it easy maybe it's the weather...
i believe the cutter population is explodingwe are in a cutter renaissance
>>79447652>I'm glad you're physically feeling better, at least.that's the weird thing. i'm actually not. for some reason my everyday bodily issues and pains were silent for a few days. now they're back and i it's driving me crazy. i get the impulses to punch the wall or slam my head against it. don't worry, though. i won't.>I am too.sorry to hear that, friend. wanna talk about what's troubling you? for some reason just posting hear usually calms me down. did help a bit just now.>I don't really have any sage advice to give.that's ok. i'll do what i should have done some time ago and annoy some doctors.>I wish you the best.thanks and same to you. >>79447709>im happy to hear that you are not sick anymore :)thank you. even though me not being sick kinda made me break down mentally today... it's been a frustrating day. ^^'>i wish i could help in some other ways than just to write something, but i really hope you can make it okay.thank you. it's alright. i just need to calm down a bit.>but try to distract yourself :D maybe a movie or some nice videogame, or a nice booki'll try. it's tough, though. seems like all the guys i usually watch aren't streaming for some reason and the only video game i enjoyed the last few weeks is giving me anxiety to boot it up after a few days of not playing it. i'll just try to find something on youtube instead. >i even heard that drinking water can help a little.i'll drink some.>good luck if anything i will try to reply.thanks, again. looking forward to it. (^-^)>sorry i feel like im kinda anoying sorry if i amdon't worry. you aren't. >>79447944hey chev. you having a rough time today, too?
>>79448087>it's been a frustrating day. ^^':c sorry to hear that. hope it gets better soon :D>the only video game i enjoyed the last few weeks is giving me anxiety to boot it up after a few days of not playing it.oh damn, that sucks :c what game is it? :D> i'll just try to find something on youtube instead.yea feels.do you listen to any kind of music? it helps me a little, but it depends. it can sometimes make me feel even worse.>don't worry. you aren't.thank you :3
>>79448087You could say that. These motherfuckers too ANYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY use to self harm. Its itching so fucking bad and ik i can js fix it by cutting but i cant rn its literal torture. Js fucking put me out of my misery atp
>>79447944Well, you're going to be hard pressed to find something to cut with in a closed psychiatric ward. Talk to the staff and tell them you have the urge to self-harm. That's what they're there for. They might give you a PRN that will help, as well. I get sedatives on PRN when I'm inpatient and they tend to sedate the worst of it.
>>79447139I must admit this is why I was concerned about them being able to access 4chan. Not all threads are good for your brain>>79447549I'm glad you bandaged>>79447644Try spicy soup, it always helps when I am sick>>79447944Maybe alert the staff? They are (in theory) there to help you>>79448067Hi cat o/
>>79448067hey catbro. always good to see you. >Make sure to take it easy not sure i can take it any easier than i currently am. ^^'>maybe it's the weather...no. i've just been in constant pain for a very long time and i've reached my limit. problem is that whenever i deal with one issue another pops up. completely wore me down.>>79448139>hope it gets better soon :Dme too, friend. me too.>oh damn, that sucks :c what game is it? :Dstardew valley. it's one of those games that's very easy to lose track of if you don't play it constantly, i feel. on the plus side i read some good manga and watched an awesome episode of an anime series, but both are rather dark, so they didn't do much to raise my mood, either. ^^'>do you listen to any kind of music?yeah. usually just old anime and video game music from 20+ years ago. i don't mind listening to new stuff, but i can't be bothered to look for it. doesn't help that my boss puts on a radio channel that still unironically plays the ghostbusters theme.>it helps me a little, but it depends. it can sometimes make me feel even worse.that happens to me as well, though i usually have to put on songs that mirror my mood to get over it, so it's always a risk. what are you listening to?>>79448169>ANYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY use to self harm. Its itching so fucking bad and ik i can js fix it by cutting but i cant rn its literal torture.sounds like you're experiencing very bad psychological withdrawal, friend. i know it's not the same, but stretching can be quite painful, but i'm not sure if it translates. maybe you could do a routine and see if it helps? i can send you some actually agonizing stuff. ^^'>>79448287hey kira!>Try spicy soup, it always helps when I am sickhad some beef stock, but it was super weenie hut jr with just a little salt. nothing else would stay in. ^^'
>>79448287>this is why I was concerned about them being able to access 4chanExactly. If I had access to 4chan when I take my generally yearly (or bi-yearly) trip to the psych ward, I would be 10x more insane and hard for the staff to handle. The lack of stimulation besides calming groups and such is part of the treatment, especially for a fellow self-identified schizophrenic like Chevalier.>>79448169I would encourage you to reach out to the staff for aid. That is their job. There is always someone on the floor available to speak with patients. If there isn't a staff member roaming your area of the floor, go to the nurse's station and speak with them there. You don't have to sit there freaking out, there is medication you can take, and staff that can lead you through calming exercises.
>>79448348>stardew valley. i want to play this game sometimes :D its on my wishlisti actually really like 2d games, i love hollow knight and terraria for example.> on the plus side i read some good manga yea i started reading manga few years back, i really felt (its quite embarrassing) but the voiceacting made me feel anxious, the usuall over hyped voices etc. >but both are rather dark, so they didn't do much to raise my mood, either.:c oh sorry to hear that how about you try reading something happy :D for example berserkr... what a happy and friendly manga to lift the mood (its not)>usually just old anime and video game music from 20+ years ago.sounds interesting :D>usually just old anime and video game music from 20+ years ago.i know this pain i hate radios desu they play the same songs all the time> what are you listening to?i like to listen to music from cry of fear, its kinda melancholic, but it can help relax.i really like as well crystal castles with bathroom effect, it sounds dumb, but it helps me calm down. idk i like when the music is quieter and i remembered that i like ivoxygen, idk my music taste is trash xdd
>>79448502>I really like as well crystal castlesGood taste homie.
Busy week. Found out I'm getting a bit of a raise. That's about it for what I can remember though..>>79448169hey chev. Not a lot i can say, but hang in there buddy>>79447644hey yuanon. good to see you! sorry you haven't doing well. >>79448087>impulses to punch the wall or slam my head against it.this has been utterly overwhelming some day but i'm guessing different reasons >>79448067hiya cat, how are you?>>79448287hi kira>>79448502hi anon
Hello friends. I encourage everyone, if you have a spare moment, to give this exercise a try. If you practice regularly you can do it when stuff is harder. It helps me a lot. I thought it might help other people, too.
Hi :(>>79446432>I am doing wellI'm happy to hear.>Is it sore or tender? Idk I'd probably say sore but maybe tender.>Wash it daily.Okay I definitely will.>Do not use pure alcohol Okay that's what I was mainly using :( I'll definitely stop now, thanks.>or preferably stick to a gentle soap and water.Okay that sounds good. Thank you so much. Should I keep wearing a bandaid over the wound?>>79446452Hey Anon, I hope your safe and clean and everything now. That sounds very scary what happened.>>79446819Hey. That really sucks that it's infected :/>>79447644Hey yuanon.>was sick for a bit.That sucks.>but feel awful in every other way todayOh that's terrible. Sorry to hear that, I hope it doesn't last long.>>79448621>Found out I'm getting a bit of a raise.That's awesome.
>>79448571ty>>79448621 helloo
>>79448502>i want to play this game sometimescan definitely recommend. it's a lot of fun, but also a huge timesink, so be warned. ^^>i actually really like 2d games, i love hollow knightsame. absolutely great game, but the wait for silksong is driving my nuts. >_< i've played quite a lot of indie-metroidvanias. one of those genres i can always enjoy.>terraria for example.never played that game and i think i mixed it up with stardew for a long time. ^^' how is it and what do you do?>but the voiceacting made me feel anxious, the usuall over hyped voices etc.definitely depends on the anime, but i get you. some people can't get over it and that's ok. manga is definitely the better choice, then. usually looks better as well.>what a happy and friendly manga to lift the mood (its not)i know, i know. honestly, it has some stuff in it that just repels me on a fundamental level, so i don't engage with it. i like works that take inspiration from it, though (the fromsoftware games for example).>sounds interesting it get's a bit old when you listen to it nearly every day on your way to work, but i just can't listen to normal radio anymore. most of it is just stuff i downloaded way back in school and was able to save from my old phone.>they play the same songs all the timei want to say that at least it's stuff i still recognize, but i recognize most modern songs as well and it's just way worse versions of the old ones. whenever i don't have my phone i usually just drive in silence. just not worth to try to look for anything to fill the void.>i like to listen to music from cry of fear, its kinda melancholic, but it can help relax.interesting. silent hill is also pretty good in that regard.
>>79448781Hello Gator! I think of you as called Claude in my head. I recall telling you about the albino gator in the aquarium I loved as a kid, and that was his name. He's currently 29! Only three years younger than I am. I hope you are doing well, and if not, at least surviving through it.I feel much more clear-headed today compared to the days leading up to the hours that I injured myself. I'm much better able to type and communicate my thoughts. My voice is still difficult to use properly due to all the internal noise but text I can do, so I've been enjoying talking to people on here all day.I suppose I might be feeling a little elevated from my symptoms, I feel like I could take on the world vs how I felt over the past few weeks. Like I feel like I'm vibrating with energy in my spirit body (my word for the body that sits within the body, the true concept of self within the self) and like I'm glowing. I heard the voice of my Spirit Mother today and she told me "You are whole, you are mine, and you are whole." and I felt like I was floating or flying while a warm glow formed around my eyes and forehead. I'm getting a lot of visual distortions, but they're fascinating in this mood instead of uncomfortable.I keep not communicating with my therapist beyond a short appointment where we review my safety plan and I confirm with her I'm safe. I'm a little anxious that they'll try to commit me if I communicate too much, but I don't feel like I'm a serious danger to myself or others and I'm still able to care for myself and make decisions. I don't know. My partner keeps an eye on me and I'm completely honest and open with them, at least.
>>79448502>i really like as well crystal castles with bathroom effect, it sounds dumb, but it helps me calm down. idk i like when the music is quieter makes a lot of sense to me. i usually put on some stream to sleep but at some point i turn it down so much that i don't understand what is said anymore and just have some background noise. >and i remembered that i like ivoxygen, idk my music taste is trash xddsame, but who cares. we don't have to justify what we like. do you have some links for your recs, btw?>>79448621hi officeanon!>Found out I'm getting a bit of a raise. That's about it for what I can remember though..only thing worth remembering, probably. anyway, congrats. you've earned it. (^-^)>good to see you! sorry you haven't doing well. good to see you, too. it's ok. i'll see if i can do anything about it.>this has been utterly overwhelming some day but i'm guessing different reasonsi'd argue the underlying reason is some deep rooted frustration that probably won't go away and you'd prefer the short numbness and disorentation an act like that gives you in that moment. not sure the actual reason is that important, because that won't go away either way. wanna talk about yours?>>79448647saved it for later use. thanks, friend.>>79448781hey gator. missed ya. how are you doing?>That sucks.it did. >:[>Sorry to hear that, I hope it doesn't last long.talking to you guys already helped a lot. thanks again, everyone.
>>79448079I hope not >>79448287How's it rolling today?>>79448348>always good to see you.thank youu same to u :D>not sure i can take it any easier than i currently am. ^^'well that's good :>what are you doing?>i've reached my limit:/can a doctor help?>>79448621Hey office I'm well but a little tiredd and sleepy>>79448647Heyo thanks you :3>>79448781Hey aliHow are you today?
>>79448837>an definitely recommend. it's a lot of fun, but also a huge timesink, so be warned. ^^xdd perfect exactly what i need ( does it have coop?)>same. absolutely great game, but the wait for silksong is driving my nuts.yeaaaaa the silksong is taking too long but imo better late and good than sooner and another buggy unplayable mess>never played that game and i think i mixed it up with stardew for a long time. ^^' how is it and what do you do?the mix up was just a small ig easter egg but its cool that there was this colaband in the game? you honestly farm to get gear to kill the next boss. (its more fun than i described it as xd)>but i recognize most modern songs as well and it's just way worse versions of the old onesyea agree i honestly dont like mutch of new and modern music>interesting. silent hill is also pretty good in that regard.yeaaaaaa exactly, but i stick more to cry of fear one cuz i like the guitar in there>>79448988> i usually put on some stream to sleep but at some point i turn it down so much that i don't understand what is said anymore and just have some background noise. yea i cant sleep without my earbuds (its a pain looking for them every morning)>same, but who cares. we don't have to justify what we like.finaly someone who thinks like this>do you have some links for your recs, btw?yea i do but i didnt want to send them first cuz i didnt want to force it on you xdcry of fear one:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDB-F8rJnXI(favourite one is called train station)and the crystal castles:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQWh_dnaXFAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYuGbvsWV2Y
god i got so sick after the walk i had i came home liek at 1 am and then woke up with a really sharp throat pain it hurts so badly to the point i choke myslef begging the pain to go away
>>79449131Hey chroma maybe drink some warm milk with honey it might help:<
In Slovenia is the most poisonous fruit ever! Its called the Venian!! !!!Its mysterious
>>79448873> I think of you as called Claude in my headThat's really sweet. he is a very good gator.> I recall telling you about the albino gator in the aquarium I loved as a kidYeah I remember it was so cool hearing someone else that has seen one.>He's currently 29! He's pretty young then.>Only three years younger than I amYou guys are very simaler in age then, that's very cool.>at least surviving through it.I am thanks. And I hope your surviving through it as well.>I feel much more clear-headed todayThat's awesome, and it does sound like your doing much better in that way.>My partner keeps an eye on me and I'm completely honest and open with themThat's really good, it's good to be able to have that with someone close.>>79448988>missed ya.Your so nice :), I'm glad to be back.>how are you doing?I'm ok, just doing nothing. How are you doing now?>talking to you guys already helped a lot. That's amazing that it did. This place is pretty magical.>>79449112>Hey aliHeya cat.>How are you today?I'm fine, scared but fine. How are you doing?>>79449131>god i got so sick after the walkThat really sucks.>really sharp throat pain it hurts so badlyThat's the worst, I recently had that same thing. Just stay in there, it will get better.
>>79449311>he's pretty young thenThis made me google how old alligators can get, it says 60-80 years in captivity! I'm warmed to know Claude should continue living out his happy life for many more years. I google him occasionally to see how he's doing. I loved that aquarium, it holds good memories for me.I wish you the best too, Gator! Have you been up to anything? Do you enjoy autumn? I'm in a place where all the leaves change and it gets really rainy, the seasons are stark here. It's been nice watching all the leaves change and fall, and the smell of rain and decaying leaves is calming.
>>79449311>scared oh yeh ://maybe I should give you my discord >How are you doing?I'm good but sleeepy
>>79449112>what are you doing?wanted to watch a stream but now the guy is doing a call of duty placement, so now i'm just staring into my phone.>can a doctor help?maybe. we'll see. don't know if you remember, but i wanted to get some appointment before, but i never did. i'll try to get one this time. don't have high hopes, though.>>79449119>perfect exactly what i need have fun. ^^>does it have coop?it does. i think you can invite people to your farm.>but imo better late and good than sooner and another buggy unplayable messsure. i hope it'll ve exactly the game they want to release when they do. i just hope i'll be able to finish it before i croak. D:>the mix up was just a small ig easter egg but its cool that there was this colabthere was? no wonder i was confused. though the similar artstyle doesn't help on a glance. ^^'>you honestly farm to get gear to kill the next boss. (its more fun than i described it as xd)hm. i see. guess it just never peaked my interest enough to give it a try.>i honestly dont like mutch of new and modern musicmaybe we're just in a period we don't enjoy and there'll be one that's more our taste down the line. >yea i cant sleep without my earbuds (its a pain looking for them every morning)i just have some hugenheadphones i can't really fall asleep with because the fixate my head. happened a few days ago, though and my neck didn't like that one bit. ^^'>finaly someone who thinks like thisyou'd think that'd be a more popular take. ^^>yea i do but i didnt want to send them first cuz i didnt want to force it on you xdyou're not forcing anyone, but i do have to admit that i have a bad habit of opening links in the background and forgetting them, so making me ask should make sure i'll actually listen to them. i'll give em a go before bed. thank you.>>79449131hi chroma. sorry to hear it got you as well. :< do you have some honey/ginger/milk? anyway, make sure to get some good rest tonight.
>>79449292interesting fun fact.>>79449311>I'm glad to be back.well, i'm glad to be back as well.>I'm ok, just doing nothing.that's fine. enjoy your me-time. >How are you doing now?better. i've calmed down a lot. wish i was able to get back to our routine, but i just can't right now. :/>That's amazing that it did. This place is pretty magical.i guess so. ^^
>>79449186hey cat thank you i dont really wanan drink anytghing i just got pills >>79449311hey gat thank youi as well>>79449398hey yu did you recovered from your cold
>>79449398>it does. i think you can invite people to your farm.yay> though the similar artstyle doesn't help on a glance.yea the artstyle is really simmilar xd i dont mind that at all i really like pixel games. i really enjoyed celeste for example, but that once again was kinda difficult game to get a hang of>maybe we're just in a period we don't enjoy and there'll be one that's more our taste down the line. yea xd i hope so :D>i just have some hugenheadphones i can't really fall asleep with because the fixate my head.i use one of my earbuds and i sleep on the side its comfy like that>but i do have to admit that i have a bad habit of opening links in the background and forgetting them oh yea i have a lot of opened windows as welli will go to bed tonight so cya :D
>>79449346>it says 60-80 years in captivity!That's awesome, that's much longer then I would have expected.>I'm warmed to know Claude should continue living out his happy life for many more yearsYeah he will definitely live a very happy gator life.>it holds good memories for me.That's great then. Aquariums are very special.>Have you been up to anything? Not really, just living with my cats. Have you?>Do you enjoy autumn? I usually do, it is very cold this year tho.>I'm in a place where all the leaves change and it gets really rainyOh that sounds cool, it usually barely rain in autumn here, but spring rains a ton.>It's been nice watching all the leaves change and fallThat's really nice then. It is a very unique beauty.>and the smell of rain and decaying leaves is calming.That's nice.>>79449357>oh yeh ://Yeah :[>maybe I should give you my discordYou definitely can if you want.>I'm good but sleeepyThat's good then. Being sleepy can be annoying sometimes.>>79449481>i'm glad to be back as well.It is always really nice when your here, it's not the same when your not.>enjoy your me-time.Okay I will.>i've calmed down a lot.That's great then.>wish i was able to get back to our routineMe to, it's been very rough recently, but well get back to it soon.>but i just can't right now. :/I totally understand, take your time to heal up and feel better.
>>79449398>watch a stream but now the guy is doing a call of duty placement,hm >:/do you want any recommendations if I find anything cool?>wanted to get some appointment before, but i neveryes >don't have high hopes, thoughman>>79449533>dont really wanan drink anytghing i just got pillsokay hopefully pills help you >>79449615>definitely can if you want.okay my name is disdorbname>good then. Being sleepy can be annoyingit's nice :>
>>79449533>did you recovered from your coldit definitely wasn't a cold. ^^' it's way better now, though. hope you'll get better soon, too. best you can do is to get under some warm blankets and get comfy.>>79449543>i really like pixel games.i do too, but not unconditionally. i really need to vibe with the art direction as well. stuff like blasphemous, moonscars, children of morta and if you want to count these low-poly ps1 style games, signalis.>i really enjoyed celeste for examplethat's one i never got into because of the art direction for some reason. don't know why. what i also can't stand is 2d-hd pixel games. i kinda feel like those completely miss the point of both, pixel-art and hd. (^_^;)>yea xd i hope so :Dalways hope for the best, even if experience tell you otherwise.>i use one of my earbuds and i sleep on the side its comfy like thatmakes a lot of sense, but i often listen to asmr before sleep and i'd miss out a lot if they use those binaural mics. ^^>oh yea i have a lot of opened windows as welli made the executive decision to close a lot of them recently. helps to declutter things a bit.>i will go to bed tonight so cya :Dgood night, seep well and see you soon!
>>79449615>it's not the same when your not.yeah, but it also isn't when any of you is missing. that said, i know you guys take good care of each other, so i can stay away for a while when it's really necessary without worrying too much ;D>it's been very rough recently, but well get back to it soon.pinky promise!>take your time to heal up and feel better.i'll do my very best! o7>>79449713>do you want any recommendations if I find anything cool?sure thing. always good to try something different.>maneh. we'll see. i just don't have much trust in doctors or their ability to indentify the cause of an issue. maybe they'll be able to point me in the right direction. we'll see.
if i think about it, i got around 3 hours of sleep tonight before inhad to get up. and that's generously counting my snoozing time as well. i should just go to bed. good night, everyone.
:(>>79449713>okay my name isI added you.>it's nice :>I'm happy it is.>>79449817>but it also isn't when any of you is missing.Your very nice, and yeah everyone here is important.>i know you guys take good care of each otherThat's true, your also very good at taking care of everyone that needs it.>can stay away for a while when it's really necessary without worryingYeah exactly, you can get your own time to just chill and relax and have fun.>pinky promise!Yeah definitely! My hamstrings are probably pretty tight hehe.>i'll do my very best! o7Perfect.
>>79450132Goodnight yuanon. Sweet dreams.
>>79450132good night :D sleep more than 3 h xd good luck with that
>>79450132>around 3 hours of sleepthis is so bad D:I feel bad for you, please sleep very well tonight
another thread missed because i forgot to reply + 15 min wait timeanywayi hope everyones alrightgoing to sleepsidednote: russian just keeps getting harder and harder :3
>>79450744heyoo :>how r uI'm not asleep yet but soon>reply + 15 min wait timethis sucks
>>79450770>how r urather sad because i think of how unlikely it is for my future to go well, in academia at the very least (and in everything else)fuck it we ball thoughi want to see how it will gohru cat?im probably going to go to sleep in a bit
>>79450797>>79450797>unlikely it is for my future to go well, in academia at the very leastsame :/>hru cat?I'm okayz I didn't do much today went to a store and later got my hair cut >im probably going to go to sleep in a bithave a nice sleep
>>79450812>same :/how come?i didnt do anything today either, didnt even feel like going to uniwas too hard to get out of bed loli hope the barber didnt give you a bad haircutgngn now
>>79450820>how comeoh yeah know, no plans no motivation to change it and I don't really even care about anything I don't like my major and even if I do somehow graduate I feel like I'd jump off a building if I had to work in that field >hope the barber didnt give you a bad haircutthank you don't worry it looks alright >gngngoodnight goodnight me toogoodnight
seems like a comfy thread have a bump
>>79451416thanks how are you doing anon?
I have made tuna salad for dinner>>79448621Hi officeanon>>79448647I do this often, it helps if I am in pain>>79448781If you were using pure alcohol and you stopped, it may actually improve so that is good at least>>79449112I practiced driving today. I'm over 18, but never got my license. I want to get it so I can get better work>>79451416Thank you stranger>Kira's Kuestion KornerWhat is the funniest thing you've ever seen?
>>79451842not much, just thought the thread could use a bump because you guys seems pretty chill
another bump again page 9
>>79425304>be me>go to /cut/ to find some IRL guro to jerk off to>just 500 gorillion pictures of cats>no self harm guroYou people make me sick
>>79450878>no plans no motivation to change it and I don't really even care about anythingalmost like im hearing my thoughts talk back to me unfilteredgod damnseems like we arent so different you and i loli hope you manage to graduate thoeven if you dont want to work in that major's field of work it is nice having a university degreeif i manage to graduate i will almost instantly become the most succesful person (in academia) from my mum's side of the familymy dad studied some nautical stuff in the UK so it is really hard to top that, unless i somehow get good and manage to get a scholarship to the US in a specific uni id want to study inunfortunately, going back to what you said, in my case pride wont be enough to keep me motivated to achieve thiswe will see anyway in the future its too early now, still have like 6 years infront of mei hope by then /cut/ will still go on so i can come back and tell you what happened
>>79452077>What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?thats a hard question to answer i have to go but i hope to remember hwat it was once i come back
>>79452077Hi kira :D>made tuna saladwell done, tuna is great >practiced driving today.oo good luck with that !!it can be scary but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it >>79453883trolled >>79454562>seems like we arent so differentye were not >hope you manage to graduatethanks though it doesn't seem likely to be honest>have like 6 years infrontthat's a lot of future ^^good luck >hope by then /cut/ will still go onwho knows there only one way to find out
hi all dropping in before bed, relapsed on both cutting and anorexia since the last time I showed up but I'm trying to get back on track. Here's everything I cooked today all consisting of eggs. sunny side up on toast for breakfast, I'm actually pretty proud of this sunny side up >:)https://files.catbox.moe/9u6hd1.jpgomelette for my sister's breakfasthttps://files.catbox.moe/vgl4m0.jpgan egg burrito for lunch, the inside consists of hard scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, montery jack cheese, smoked paprika and cayenne pepperhttps://files.catbox.moe/vnuj2v.jpgan over medium egg on brioche buns for dinner, I like how the toast on the bread turned outhttps://files.catbox.moe/70j680.jpgsorry for my egg ramblings I will sleep now goodnight
I haven't slept for 24 hours. Still feeling bright and alive and thrumming with a warm glow. Started feeling a little shitty and tense and it built up until I realized I hadn't fucking had a cigarette break outside in over three hours. As I type this I am having a nice long smoke and I feel amazing again.
Hey guys. It just keeps getting worse. I tried to run away yesterday and they transferred me to another place where they'll hold me till i get summoned for court or something. Maybe im js a horrible person
blessing anons from hell
>>79455313Thank you. I'm doing better every day>>79456108Tamagoooo! This is delicious!>>79456797I think you should see a doc>>79456901Im sorry to hear that. Make sure you don't talk about your court case online in any way. Even if 4chan is anonymous, the opposing counsel could find you saying something incriminating
>>79456901Hey, it's all good Chevalier. I've been in a ton of legal trouble thanks to my schizophrenia, and an involuntary admission is pretty mild all things considered. It's normal with schizophrenia, is this your first? It'll all work out, just speak as kindly as you can with your representative and express yourself openly and honestly with them and you'll be just fine.It sounds like you were being held in a voluntary admission (correct me if I'm wrong, sorry) and due to your attempt to escape the facility instead of communicating a need to be discharged AMA (against medical advice), or communicating with a staff member, you ran away. They probably started the process for you to be involuntarily held and admitted. This requires a court hearing to ensure your rights are being respected and preserved, basically they'll review your symptoms and how you present and the things you say to them, and decide if you need to be kept for a set amount of time for your own safety and wellness (usually a limit on this amount of time is set by the state or county) and if that time is granted, they can extend it with further court hearings. You'll have to have at least one more court hearing before discharge if it gets ruled that they have grounds to involuntarily hold you.What specifically about the facility is bothering you? Are other patients threatening to harm you? Are other patients saying hurtful things? Do you not agree with the medication regimen they want you on?
>>79456951Not to post twice, but I do see a psychiatrist, and I have a caseworker. My healthcare is being seen to. I'm just diagnosed schizophrenic, this is part of my normal life experience. I'm doing okay, I'll be safe and well in the end. If it goes over 72 hours I go to the ER and they induce sleep with drugs and then discharge me.
Is anyone else rattling around in here?
>>79456108Hey whoa you're quite the cook!!it looks nice have a nice sleep>>79456797Hello >24 hours. Still feeling bright andI'm pretty sure it's kinda normal to get a burst of energy after not sleeping for so long Hope you get sleep soon>>79456901Hey >to run away yesterdaI feel that'll just make things worse >>79456901>for court or somethiwhat?!>>79456951>doing better every dayvery well ^^>>79457635Hey o/how's it going anon?
I dropped early yesterday, got hit with a lot later on. Sorry>>79448781hey gator, hope you're doing okay. Concerned about you and that cut you're dealing with. Just take care of it like you've been doing and advice cat gives (know he's pretty knowledgeable with this). >>79448988>congrats. you've earned it.thanks! Has been a tiring ordeal to get to this point. >disorentation an act like that gives you in that moment.seems like the rational for cutting as well and many impulsive actions. Everyone is just looking for a way out of dealing with certain things>wanna talk about yours?i struggle a great deal with just getting angry sometimes. I don't know i've ever shown it here, but I do have an anger problem that explodes suddenly sometimes. Think sometimes I suppress it so long and it festers till it explodes and I can't let it drop then. Been starting to spill out more and more lately>>79449112having a sleepy day today myself.. hope it's going well at least>>79452077i can't bring myself to like tuna salad. Too many flashbacks to friday night dinner in a catholic household>What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?why the pickle rick episode of rick and morty of course>>79453883that's pretty mean coming from the catholic church's anime girl(male) mascot>>79456797jeez, you okay? that's a long time. I feel like shit being up this long but if you're good than good>>79456901hang in their buddy. Know it's hell... but don't be hard on yourself>>79456108hey tamago, all looking pretty good>on both cutting and anorexia it's okay to relapse, but please try to get on track still...>>79457635>anon posted my house
>>79458266helloo, im the anon that has been here lately, i really need to ask you question, how do you deal with stress, i really dont know i am trying to distract myself, but it just always stays somehow.sorry that im asking you directly, but it feels easier to ask someone specifically than just idk. everyone at once :c sorry
>>79457914>normal to get a burst of energyYeah, I refer to it as my "second wind". It usually wears off sometime late afternoon and I crash for fifteen hours.>>79458266I'm doing good! My muscles are a little tense and stuff's a little wobbly in mental concept and physical perception but I'm feeling alright, rather pleasant actually.>>79458304There are lots of ways to deal with stress, but it kind of depends on what sort of stress you're dealing with and what your current responses to it are. Coping skills for distress often help me a lot when I'm experiencing a lot of stress. >>79425323 this image has a brief overview of some.
>>79458266Hii officeanon luckily weekend is almost hereAny plans?>>79458304Hei anon what's stressing you out?maybe you could get under a blanket and drink or eat something nice and warm and just try to completely chill for a moment >>79458335how often do you not sleep for that long!? :o
>>79458304good to see you still here and no worries! Can reply to me directly whenever you want, no worries>how do you deal with stressI saw you say it's work related.. That's a tough one and I know I'm probably the biggest workaholic in this thread. Is there something specific going on you want to talk about?>trying to distract myself, but it just always stays somehow.honestly as far as worrying about work, you have to try to tell yourself whatever happens there, won't be the end of the world no matter what so you can't let it consume every waking second. I used to be terrified about getting laid off, but came up with back up plans for if I did, and helped me stress less. Thinking of ways to handle and resolve your worries has honestly done more to help me than just trying to ignore it, since just doesn't work for everyone>>79458335glad to hear it. But do try not to push yourself too much longer. Sleep is good for your health after all and I've never been up much longer than that without feeling awful days after.
>>79458554>>79458571>>79458335im sorry i dont feel like i can respond normally sorry i am too anxious sorry
>>79458599it's fine just take it easy we can wait ^^ don't worry there's no rush
>>79458599Can you do me a favor and see if you can read and do the steps in this >>79448647 ? It shouldn't make anything worse at all, even if it doesn't help. But it should help somewhat if you're suffering from acute anxiety feelings.
>>79457048You're welcome to post twice. This thread is more relaxed than most on this board.>>79457635I think going there could cure me.Since today is a resource sharing day, this one is my favoritehttps://youfeellikeshit.com/index.htmlSome of it is a bit cheese and borders on condescending, but it's still valuable to me as it offers a step by step checklist
>>79458739i am kinda calmed down now, i tensed my muslces and gave myself some fresh air, i still didnt eat anything, but i am not hungry. i didnt eat all day, but i dont want to force anything. once again thank you for helping me, it helped a lotbtw sorry that i deleted most of my messages.ty>>79458739>>79458554>>79458571>>79458335
>>79458910>this thread is more relaxed than mostI've noticed in my time hopping in here occasionally! It's a nice vibe. Thank you for the resource, I decided to try it out and it reminded me I haven't taken my meds yet and I need to. I just did.>>79458919>I am kinda calmed down now>it helped a lotIt sounds like you successfully self-soothed! You deescalated your feelings. Pat yourself on the back, that's real work that you just did and succeeded at! Finding the specific techniques that work best for you is a practice of searching up skills and trying them out for yourself in situations like this, and seeing what really works.Search terms that will cough up helpful things: anxiety toolkit, anxiety coping skills, distress tolerance skills, distress coping skills, grounding techniques, calming breathing exercises, anxiety worksheet, stress worksheet, stress coping skills, etc. Don't be afraid to use the power of the internet to see if you can find something healthy that helps you.
>>79456951its not really a court case per se i think more js them trying to judge if its safe to release me.>>79457914it did make things worse, but i was just hopeless on what to do and i do think im in a better place now than i was before>>79458266>hang in their buddyi'm trying to. i talked to a few friends and they did bring up some good points. i'll just wait for what the psychologists will say for now
>>79459662Generally if you just tried to flee a closed psychiatric ward, I'd give it at least three days of inpatient treatment before you try to leave. You're obviously not able to make sound judgements on your own safety if you tried to stage an escape from a psychiatric unit like you're in a prison death camp. You know you have legal rights while you are inpatient? Have you been made aware of your rights? You have the right to request information about your legal case status and your personal rights while admitted. You might want to familiarize yourself with them and it might make you more comfortable navigating future inpatient admissions. I generally advise all fellow schizophrenics to learn the extent of their rights when admitted both voluntarily and also involuntarily in their local area, to make things make more sense and also so they can exercise their legal rights.
>>79450135>My hamstrings are probably pretty tight hehe.ugh. don't remind me. it's gonna be brutal. D:>>79450744hey sis. hope you had some good sleep and a nice day. >>79450770hey catbro! how was your day? ready for the weekend?>>79452077hi kira!>What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?it's more dark than funny, but it got me really good: watched one of those shows where people get cover up tattoos and some military guy had one on his leg that said "you'll never walk alone". his unit's motto or something like that. during one of hist missions he got part of that leg blown of in a way so the tattoo just read you'll never walk.>>79453883there's million other threads like that. >>79456108man, those all look great! :D didn't have some toast in a while. maybe i should get some. ^^>>79456901you're not. here in germany trying to escape from prison is not even something you can be charged for, because it's recognized that the human need to be free is deeply rooted and can't be easily contained. and in your case you've got a lot of other stuff to deal with as well, so don't be too harsh on yourself. still, maybe you can try to see this more as opportunity than a punishment and reflect on yourself, how you are doing and if there are some behaviors you could change to get better.>>79457008hey anon! thanks for posting all that information. very interesting to read and always good to have someone that knowledgeable around.>>79458266>Has been a tiring ordeal to get to this point. enjoy the fruits of your labor. ^^>Everyone is just looking for a way out of dealing with certain thingstrue. at some point enough is enough. though that one time i kicked the wall was enough to make sure i'll never do that again. i was smart enough to move my toes out of the way, but i think i still broke something. it hurt a lot and i was out lf comission for the evening... ^^'
>>79458266>I do have an anger problem that explodes suddenly sometimes.i feel you. it's one of those things that doesn't translate well to the thread, since we're a bit more in control of what we show here, but i do have a side like that to me as well. all that frustration and anger and nothing to focus it into. maybe i should get a punching bag or something like that. ^^' man, how often i think to myself "tell me that after my shift again..." when dealing with certain customers. then again, nothing funnier to see someone being all puffed up completely deflate when being confronted with aggressive niceness. bonuspoints for completely embarrassing themselves in front of someone they brought in.>Been starting to spill out more and more latelyi see. what's causing you to get angry in the first place? is it something you have any sort of control over?>>79458304hey anon! i know it's nothing you could do immediately to reduce stress, but some diets give you more willpower and increase your ability to deal with stress, like the bulletproof diet. maybe check it out. >>79458571weird question after reading that came to mind after thinking about anons post here >>79458304. would you say your diet is high in gluten and seed oils?
>>79458910>>79459662>do think im in a better place now than i was beforephewat least that :< >>79459806>how was your day? ready for the weekend?Heyo :Dtoday was okay, just a chill dayI think I'm gonna burry myself in a blanket and watch something I have a hard time focusing for some reason How are you??Also it's HL2 20 anniversary soon yaaayayayay
>>79459957>would you say your diet is high in gluten and seed oils?i dont think so why?
>>79458554hey cat!>Any plans?besides sleep a bit more hopefully? xD Have a lot of work to do, but gonna go out a bit. Might try to be do more to get ready for the fisheshow about you? Have any plans?>>79458599>>79458919hope you're feel better anon. Sorry you're having a tough time with whatever is going on. Feel free to talk whenever you want to. You're very nice and we're all happy you're here>>79459662>just wait for what the psychologists will say for nowbest you can do in current position i think. Know it sucks, but given how things have been might do some good in the end. So hold on and try to cooperate as you can>>79459806>enjoy the fruits of your laborstill have to wait a little bit to see the new paycheck, but gonna be nice>that one time i kicked the wall was enough to make sure i'll never do that again.probably a good idea. Younger years I punched through walls a few times, but worst i did was punching through a window which ended exactly as well as you would expect it to.>i should get a punching bag or something like thatthey are quite enjoyable in my experience. And the fact they're meant to be punched makes it far less destructive than destroying the walls>completely deflate when being confronted with aggressive niceness.i wish this worked more here than it seems to, but a lot of people just seem straight immune to it. Everyone around can still tell they're being an ass, but they themselves can't seem to figure it out
>>79460114>today was okay, just a chill daya chill day would have been nice. ^^ work was kinda stressful.>I think I'm gonna burry myself in a blanket and watch somethingfound anything interesting? i'm just watching someone play broken sword: shadow of the templars. weird thing is: whenever i see someone play that game it's always the same part. if i remember correctly, i was stuck there back in the day as well, so maybe that's why.>I have a hard time focusing for some reason hope you're not getting sick, too... D: being warm and cozy will surely prevent that. so good job for taking those precautions. >How are you??i'm ok. a bit tired and bored, but way better than yesterday. still gonna take it easy this weekend. no working out and no hanging out with friends. >Also it's HL2 20 anniversary soon yaaayayayayat least there'll be no shitty remake of it (i hope), so that's a plus. ^^>>79460138>i dont think so why?ah, sorry. that was directed at officeanon. i just came up with it while thinking about your post. to answer your question, though: if i remember correctly, gluten feeds a certain kind of bacteria in your colon that makes you more irritable and mist vegetable and seed oils have been shown to have a negative effect on your brain, reducing your mental capabilities and increasing anger issues as well.
>>79459957>what's causinglots of little things. I get drained how everyone is such an asshole to strangers. Don't need to be buddy buddy with everyone, but it's just draining. You drive, everyone is an ass. At the store, everyone is an ass. At work, everyone is an ass. It's just so tiring. And certain people's arrogance around me. Some talk out their ass day in day out and I listen to it. I don't want to sound unhinged, but the number of people who act like complete assholes because they push the limits of what you can get away with in "polite" conversation. >any sort of control over?i want to stoically say only my reactions, but that is probably not completely true either ha>high in gluten and seed oils?Not especially. I'm not gluten free, but I think my diet is pretty low in it overall since I don't eat a ton of bread or packaged goods. Grains are usually oats or rice, which may have contamination, but doubt that's significant. As for seed oil, almost none. I use mostly olive (though do treat my cast iron pans with canola but not actually cooking) why you ask? >>79460138not this was meant for you or me, but i like yapping on here anyway xD
>>79460366>still have to wait a little bit to see the new paycheck, but gonna be niceman, my boss takes his time with mine as well. can get a bit annoying sometimes. -_->Younger years I punched through walls a few timescan't recommend trying that in europe. most walls here are solid stone, brick or concrete.>worst i did was punching through a window which ended exactly as well as you would expect it to.i can imagine, but punching windows here would lead to the same result as punching walls. not sure why everything here is so robust... ^^'>they are quite enjoyable in my experience.sadly i don't really know where i could put one. i think i'll invest in more kettlebells for the time being. not going to punch those, though. >makes it far less destructive than destroying the wallsi couldn't if i wanted to. not without heavy tools.>but a lot of people just seem straight immune to it.immunity is definitely spreading. people get too unhinged to care anymore.>they themselves can't seem to figure it outself-reflection and common sense are super powers in this day and age >>79460456>lots of little things.it's death by a thousand cuts, so the guy who did the last one doesn't really get why you're "overreacting" so hard.>It's just so tiring.word. a little politeness really goes a long way these days.>Some talk out their ass day in day out and I listen to it.always the hardesr to bite your tongue around those. we have a customer who comes and and tries to talk about his retarded conspiracy theories and i have to stand there and listen to his drivel. one time my coworker asked me why my head was so read... another of my coworkers told me once that you can see if i get angry because a vein at the side of my head starts to pop. ^^'>only my reactions, but that is probably not completely true either hayeah. i would like to think that i'm in control of my emotions, but it's definitely not the case at all times.
>>79460456>why you ask?because both are things that can have an impact on how resilient you are to mental stress or with anger issues. you could try to go grain free for a while and see if it improves. i know it did for me.>not this was meant for you or mei guess i had a small stroke while typing that out, so no wonder you guys are confused. (^_^;)
>>79460366>sleep a bit morehope you get to>get ready for the fishesoh ye the fishes :0>Have any plans?nope :/>>79460420>work was kinda stressful.:c>found anything interesting?just watching some stream bu too aleepy to watch ao just listen>hope you're not getting sicknope nope dw I'm never gonna get sick >:3>still gonna take it easy this weekendgood>least there'll be no shitty remake of ityupthere might be cool stuff like that ot hl1 25th anniversary
>>79425304>How are you doing today?Better than yesterday. >Any plans for today?Watching Tyson V Paul>Is there anything bothering you right now?Yes. I had a bad presentation performance yesterday. I had this project for a semester, couldn't get a group together so I did it myself, and someone else presented the same material before I did. This freaked me out and I tried to cover it slightly differently. I know I got a bad grade and I just fell into an angry spiral afterwords. Hey Captcha's different
Mom blocked me today. My best friend died. Told dad to kill himself. Lost the car and the job today. Been drinking hard and cutting. Not really feeling it anymore. Done it for almost 15 years now. Going homeless for the third time once the eviction notice comes in. Idk what to do anymore.
>>>79426024>>I just think>ah, so you're capable of thought? impressive. if only you used that ability to understand that what you think will never be law. truly a shame, hm?>>Why havent you killed yourself already>we, unlike you, have a purpose to fulfill. your purpose is to be a nuisance to everyone. i would assume that this disrespect you have for us, doesn't apply to others outside of this online website.>[reddit spacing]>what i want to know is why you continue to cower behind anonymity, running your mouth all afraid of what would happen if you said this to people in person.
>>79461121i am so sorry to hear this.
>>79426024Your life must be pretty pathetic that you go around looking for things to get upset about
>>79461144Thanks. A cheers to your kindness.
>>>trans-sister>i am so sorry to hear this.
>>79461164>>>seven9426024>Your life must be pretty pathetic that you go around looking for things to get upset about
>>79461164nah he needs attention, just dont give him any
>>79461166ty kind stranger. i wish i could help
>>79460972>:cwell, it's over now. only thing that still bothers me is that i was wearing a mask to prevent people from whatever germa might still cling to me, while my coworker was just coughing her lungs out...>just watching some stream bu too aleepy to watch ao just listenthat's how i go to sleep most of the time. maybe you should let sleep take over now. ^^>dw I'm never gonna get sick >:3i believe you, so the germs should as well. i also heard they can't get you if you can't see them, so better close your eyes. :>>goodyup>there might be cool stuff like that ot hl1 25th anniversarywell, hope it will actually be cool if they do. would be a nice change of pace from all the half-assed, regurgitated shitty remakes of games we get these days.>>79461092hey cynic! good to see you.>Better than yesterday. that's good. :>>Watching Tyson V Paulhave fun! hope it'll be a fight worth your time. if not and you're still itching for some fight a can recommend boogie vs wings. ^^>I had this project for a semester, couldn't get a group together so I did it myself, and someone else presented the same material before I did.sorry to hear that, friend. :< that's so unfortunate it sounds like something from a movie or dream...>This freaked me out and I tried to cover it slightly differently.dang. :/ >I know I got a bad grade and I just fell into an angry spiral afterwords. we'll see. is it something where just passing would be good enough?>>79461121that's pretty rough, to say the least. sorry for your loss.>Idk what to do anymore.is there some place you could go after becoming homeless that takes care of people in your situation or is there some sort of institution you could contact to get help/support? just make sure to take small steps and focus on making it from one day to the next. maybe there'll be time for big plans again, but you deserve some rest now.
>>79461121i hope everything will be figured out anoni cant imagine the hell you're going through, but i do hope you'll be able to sort out these things. do you have any money with you right now?
>>79461243>>79461247Thanks guys. The (you)'s mean a lot. I have $100 left to my name and my last check of $200 comes in next week. In USA, all shelters are full and all programs are waiting list/also full. Every church in the area has "no loitering" signs. City is covered in anti-homeless architecture. Thinking about living at the beach but im sure its illegal to be there at night. I'll have to live somewhat near a grocery store/panhandling because people actually forage here (i.e. can't pick blackberries) and hunting small game is also illegal (no public land) and I can't just bring a rifle/crossbow that I don't have with me everywhere to live on squirrel meat. I could try fishing to survive but my pole is in my car that got repossessed so now I have to decide if I should buy beans or another pole. Don't know where to fish either. Guess I should spend what little I have left on a gym membership to try and shower once in a while.I feel nothing from cutting anymore. Ever since I went to the ER for stitches "for the worst laceration on the arm I've ever seen in 11 years at working the ER", I'm too afraid to go too deep.At least I'm not Chris Chan.
>>79461243hey yu>if not and you're still itching for some fight a can recommend boogie vs wings. ^^I haven't watched the full boogie vs wings fight. Maybe I will. I just wanna know why he accepted a match and didn't trained for it. Yet somehow lost money on things the match should've paid for. It drives me insane how money works in some people's lives. Like money is blood to me. I don't want to lose it easily. >is it something where just passing would be good enough?Passing would be enough, but I really think I earned a 40% here. It won't fail me in the class and honestly I was planing on quitting school soon anyways. It's more about me not being up to par I guess.>only thing that still bothers me is that i was wearing a mask to prevent people from whatever germa might still cling to me, while my coworker was just coughing her lungs out...Yeah people really are inconsiderate. Sorry that you're workday was like that.
anyways way past midnight good night
>>79425304i was so happy today because i made a move on my crush but i cutted because i got sad again
>>79461298hey anon>City is covered in anti-homeless architecture.Those things do suck, but I think you can still pull this off.>I have $100 left to my name and my last check of $200 comes in next week. This more than enough for a tent. >Thinking about living at the beachBad idea. Any small forest is much easier.>live somewhat near a grocery store/panhandling because people actually forage here Soup kitchens don't have a waiting list. And a rabbit trap can always be built. Learn how before you lose your internet. Also learn how to make a fire.>and hunting small game is also illegal Who cares. Rabbits and raccoons are everywhere in urban areas, no one's keeping track.>I could try fishing to survive but my pole is in my car that got repossessed so now I have to decide if I should buy beans or another pole. If you can't afford a pole, you can make one until you can.>At least I'm not Chris Chan.Always on the bright side. I think you're in a much better position though.
>>79461247hey chroma! how are you doing today?>>79461298>In USAin a lot of places prison would be an option. at least in europe. not something i'd recommend in the u.s., though. :/sorry, anon. i don't have any good advice i could give you. could you go to another city or state to get help/support?>I'm too afraid to go too deep.maybe that's for the best.>>79461483>I haven't watched the full boogie vs wings fight.i watched some podcast guys coverage of it. they also coveres the pre-fight stuff that lead up to it.>I just wanna know why he accepted a match and didn't trained for it.i can recommend "the tragedy of darth boogie the wide" if you want to know who the guy is and why he does what it does. it's 13 hours of content, though.>It drives me insane how money works in some people's lives.maybe don't watch it then. ^^'>It won't fail me in the class and honestly I was planing on quitting school soon anyways.why? what's going on with you?>It's more about me not being up to par I guess.understandable, but in the end it's not that important. sometimes it's ok to just get through somehow.>>79461539past 2:00 am for me... i should call it a day as well. good night!>>79461542good job making that move! :D hope it worked. :>>but i cutted because i got sad againyou win some, you lose some. hope it wasn't too deep and heal quickly. take care!>>79461618i love that painting. ^^good night, everyone! see you soon!
everyones asleep but ill still post. . .im really bothered by the residual attraction to my ex gf. its in my dreams and my thoughts and my feelings. again ive got sexually aroused, so intrusive thoughts and feelings started coming in. how i want to be with her again and how i love her attention and body. i get that everyday but this is a case where i still cannot stop imagining and remembering our time together in bed. really bad.
>>79461656>the tragedy of darth boogie the widehm. I'll check it out. I watched the documentary on the guy, he seems like a list of poor life choices.>why? what's going on with you?I'm just tired of school. I don't seem cut out for academia. Thought I was at some point, but I've really fallen out of love with it. >good night, everyone! see you soon!Good night Yu, I'm also gonna call it night. I'll see the main event fight tomorrow.
uhhnmhm page 9 bump?
Hey guys, I don't know why I've been feeling do damn down recently. I really don't get it. I took a break from basically everything. I don't really know. I just feel like shit all the time. The only thing keeping me pushing is creative stuff I'm doing, and I've been feeling like a loser with that stuff to. I mean a fucking animation? a song too? God, its so unlike me. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I just want to wipe everything off the face of the earth, go back a year or so in time and never think about that goddamn fucking ROTMG fan theory I made on a whim, as a joke, years ago again. I hope to look back at this and think "haha i cant believe i used to say that, wow guys follow your dream" but i dont know why im doing any of this. Sorry for ranting, I hope one of you guys read through this. I tried posting what I have but 4mb silfe limit makes it hard, and I can upload gifs bigger than 20mb seemingly anywhere so idk.
I texted my mom that I thought I had a infection, it went horribly, she just yelled at me and forced me to let her clean it. I hate my life. Probably should have just let the infection kill me.>>79450744Hey Sisyphus. Your a great guy.>russian just keeps getting harder and harder :3It does seem like one of those languages.>>79452077>it may actually improve so that is good at leastWell I hope so at least.>What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?Probably a giraffes tongue irl.>>79456108Hey. Sorry to hear you've relapsed and stuff. That's always very sucky.>I'm trying to get back on track. That's great then, the first and hardest step is trying.>>79456797>I haven't slept for 24 hoursI hope you got some sleep at least.>Still feeling bright and alive and thrumming with a warm glow.That sounds really nice. I'm glad your feeling that way.>>79456901Hey.>It just keeps getting worseI'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you can bounce back and feel better.>Maybe im js a horrible personI don't think you are at all.>>79458266Hey.>hope you're doing okay.I'm not but thank you very much.>Concerned about you and that cut you're dealing with.Don't worry about me, I'll survive. I always do...>Just take care of it like you've been doing and advice cat givesYup I am.>>79459806>it's gonna be brutal. D:It is gonna be, but we'll survive.>>79461092>Better than yesterday.That's amazing.>couldn't get a group togetherIt does seem hard to.>I know I got a bad gradeYou never know, maybe you gotta a good or at least a alright grade.>>79461121Hey anon. It sounds like you've been going through a lot recently and that really sucks.>Going homeless for the third timeThat sounds very scary. I hope everything goes well for you.>>79461711Hey Anon. That does seem really hard. It's hard to be without someone to integral to your life. The only thing that I know will work is waiting, which sucks.Limit
>>79464140Hey.>I don't know why I've been feeling do damn down recently.I'm really sorry to hear that, such a terrible thing to deal with.>I took a break from basically everythingSometimes that can help.>The only thing keeping me pushing is creative stuff I'm doingYou are a very cool and creative guy.>and I've been feeling like a loser with that stuff toYour not a looser, you actually really good at it.
today is a good day for meh :>I have your fellas have a good day tooI'm gonna be a bit busy today >>79464902Hey Ali>forced me to let her clean it.well it probably won't do any goodOnly antibiotics can help with infections Sorry to hear it went so not well :<Sending hugs >let the infection kill me.no!
not a cutter myself, but i always wondered what you guys use to tear into your soft, squishy flesh. post your knives, scalpels, razors, swords, scissors, axes, hand tools and particularly sharp rocks.
>>79465447I use small utility knife replacement blades
>>79465447I have a bunch of knife but I never used them, I just use razorblades
This sounds utterly absurd guys... But I'm thinking of trying to take up skateboarding. Sounds absurd coming from a 30 year old man who's never done it, but I'm in good shape, always wanted to, and no one can tell me no. Anyway, gonna go shopping in a bit, have lunch, cooking later, and will try to shop for some fish stuff.>>79460738> my boss takes his time with mine as well.in defense of my boss, he's cool, it's corporate bureaucracy that ain't>most walls here are solid stoneour well made american homes are mostly cheap wood. My basement has concrete in the slightly unfinished sections so would be the same there i suppose>sadly i don't really know where i could put one. forget not everyone has multiple empty rooms>doesn't really get why you're "overreacting" so hard.moral of the story being not to be an ass to anyone, since you got no idea what they're going through> if i get angry because a vein at the side of my head starts to pop. oops that would actually suck to e noticeable. Thankfully I'm not until it's too late to put the lid back on and I blow up>>79460772>could try to go grain free for a while and see if it improvesI'm not gonna be able to get completely away from rice, but would be interesting to try to reduce and see> small stroke while typing that outhappens to me everything :>>>79460972>oh ye the fishesknow how much cats love fish so will make sure to show them xD>>79461092>I had a bad presentation performance yesterday.sorry man, that sucks. Least favorite part about school is those bullshit projects with a bunch of stupid kids. I would literally get thrown out dealing with this shit with the mentality i have now, so don't envy you with this. Sorry if it hurts you because it all>>79461121know a lot of folks replied already, but sorry anon. Wish you the best. If there's anyone out there at all you can turn to. Other than that, think you got some good advice, so hope you make most of some of it
>>79461711I know you probably don't want to reminded of her at all, but it's kind of to be expected. wanting sex doesn't just stop and if you're only interested in someone who matches her looks, kinda makes sense it would be lingering. I think you need to detach these feelings from the person. Know she's the only one who matches what you wanted from the time you searched for others like her, but i think it is hard to turn off wanting connection to women overall, and that's more so the problem now.>>79464140hey Irkador. Sorry it's rough lately. Honestly, you have to do the stuff you want to do because you want to. If you're judging against other people or how much you do or any other metric other than what you're getting out of it, think you're going to be miserable and unhappy either way. If you don't feel like doing anything, that's fine to, but don't let anything other than what you want change that>>79464902hey gator>Probably should have just let the infection kill me.no you definitely shouldn't. I know it sucks, but you had to. Don't be too upset, it's for the best, even if her reaction was bad. I had a similar experience younger. Tore open my arm pretty bad close to the wrist in a bloody mess and parents freaked out, told me I was going to make them look bad etc.. But it's not good to let something that might really mess you up do so just to avoid trouble with family.>>79465333thanks, have fun with whatever you're up to
>>79458910The thread has lasted quite a bit>>79459007Good, I hope you feel welcome here>>79459662Ohhh, I see>>79459806Holy shit my fucking sides>Kira's Kuestion KornerWhat is your favorite restaurant?
bumping this place
>>79467000>What is your favorite restaurant?never been there, never will be. but this propably
Helo I visited me grandpa today how are you all doing??byw happy caturday >>79467000Hey kira :>>favorite restaurant?oh crap, I don't know I don't go to restaurants
Femboyanon here. I think that my esophagus may be damaged because I keep having heart burn and feeling nauseous.
>>79467000God you are so hot. I want to be humiliated by you. Step on me Kira mommy.
>God you are so hot. I want to be humiliated by you. Step on me Kira mommy.what happened to this general
>>79467000>What is your favorite restaurant?my local hot pot place>>79467899I looked this up online and the reviews and image uploads sent me into orbit >>79468459hey cat happy caturday>visited me grandpa todaythat's nice>how are you all doing??little sleepy actually. Don't know why i didn't do much, but just feel drained.>>79468513you go to a doctor or someone about this? sounds awful. Either way, if you're having perpetual heart burn might want to try fish oil supplement. Used to have it all the time and taking it decreased me having it I feel (and it's pretty good for you overall)
Life is so exhausting and painful. I really feel like I'm just not made to live a proper life in any sense of the word. I'm not made to survive in any kind of functioning society, I'm completely unable to take care of myself or do anything of worth with my useless existence, and I've never been capable of connecting with other human beings. I can't fix myself, I'm boring and subhuman, which is evident and blatant to any unfortunate soul that has to put up with interacting with me. I don't know what to do.
>>79464929Hi gator! How you doing??>I'm really sorry to hear that,Yeah, it happens, ups and downs.>You are a very cool and creative guy.Thanks, that means a lot.>>79465333Hi cat! >I have your fellas have a good day tooThanks, I hope you have a good day aswell!>>79466531Thanks office.
just bumping in here to page one
>>79468513Heio it sounds dangerous please watch out Maybe visit a doctor?>>79468830>that's niceye it was okay>little sleepy actuallymake sure to go to sleep early pls and enjoy your caturday >just feel drainedprobably because of the tiring week>>79468838Hello You you can get any better?>don't know what to dowell I'm not sure what you should do either :/but if you wanna you can at least talk with us :D >>79469192hiihow are you today fren??
>>79465333>today is a good day for meh :>I'm really happy it is, your a great guy.>I have your fellas have a good day tooThanks.>I'm gonna be a bit busy todayAlrighty, I hope you have fun at least.>Hey AliHey cat>well it probably won't do any goodYeah that's what I thought. I only wanted her to take me to the doctor or something.>Sorry to hear it went so not well :<It's okay, I should have known.>Sending hugsThank you :3. What are you up to?>no!:/>>79466381>But I'm thinking of trying to take up skateboardingThat doesn't sound absurd, skating is really fun. Tony hawk is like 50 and he still skate boards, you definitely can do it.>have lunchWhat did you have for lunch? And how are you doing?>>79466531>hey gatorHey officeanon.>Tore open my arm pretty bad close to the wristThat's really scary. >told me I was going to make them look bad etc..That's crazy, they just didn't care about your well being or anything, that's so sad. Definitely not what you want to hear after doing that.>might really mess you up do so just to avoid trouble with family.Yeah I guess that's true, and her reaction definitely wasn't as bad as your parents, so it's not that bad I guess.>>79467000Hey.>What is your favorite restaurant?Waffle house. What's yours?>>79468459>Helo I visited me grandpa todayI hope it was nice :)>how are you all doing??I'm fine, kinda just got up.>byw happy caturdayYes always.>>79468513Hey femboyanon. > I think that my esophagus may be damagedOh that doesn't sound good, go to a doctor if you can, or look up stuff to help it.>>79468838>Life is so exhausting and painful. That sucks your feeling that way. Life can suck sometimes.>I've never been capable of connecting with other human beingsIt is really hard to do. But you can slowly get better at it.>>79469192>Hi gator!Hey irkador :)>How you doing??I'm doing okay. How are you doing?>Yeah, it happens, ups and downs.That sucks then, I hope you get more ups then downs
>>79470423>your a great guy.thank you c:>only wanted her to take me to the doctor or something.are you gonna go?>What are you up to?now I'm in bed eating snack and watch a stream>I'm fine, kinda just got up.yay how was your sleep??
>>79469192how are you doing other than all that? Still holding up with school?>>79470026>make sure to go to sleep early will make sure to :>>enjoy your caturdaydid some cooking just now so overall good day>>79470423>Tony hawk is like 50 and plenty of other older people do. I'm in better shape than i was 10 years ago so really it's kinda strange to some, but honestly better now than ever>What did you have for lunch? And how are you doing?just some ramen from a ramen restaurant. Pretty good though. Always have fun those types of restaurants(the non traditional, but more weeb style ones) was fun time and day overall was good> Definitely not what you want to hear after doing that.not at all, but glad I did in a sense since probably would have been bad if i tried to treat it on my own>so it's not that bad I guess.it's still upsetting, but honestly i don't think parents ever know how to react to these things. It's not what they expect till it happens, so might have been shocked. Important thing is your well being and making sure you get you need to prevent things from getting worse sometimes, even if it's unpleasant to deal with
>>79470546>thank you c:Your welcome, it's just true.>are you gonna go?I don't know, probably not :/ she just cleaned it and said it's fine.>now I'm in bed eating snack and watch a streamOoo that's nice, best at the end of the day. What snack?>yay how was your sleep??I slept like 10 hours and it was fine.>>79470690>and plenty of other older people doExactly, anyone can do it.>I'm in better shape than i was 10 years agoWell then now is the best time to do it. And that's good your getting healthier.>just some ramen from a ramen restaurant.That sounds really nice. A ramen restaurant sounds good.>the non traditional, but more weeb style onesA weeb style one definitely sounds pretty fun.>was fun time and day overall was goodI'm happy it was.>but glad I did in a sense since probably would have been bad if i tried to treat it on my ownYeah probably, it is hard to treat it on your own if you don't know what your doing.>but honestly i don't think parents ever know how to react to these things.Yeah that's fair, it probably is hard to react to.>It's not what they expect till it happensYeah exactly, it's nothing no one would ever really expect I guess.>Important thing is your well being Idk, I never really cared about my well being.> you need to prevent things from getting worse sometimesI guess I should.
>>79470690>will make sure to :>very well>did some cooking:oanother stew?>>79470816>it's just true.^^>she just cleaned it and said it's fine.well you should observe it and if nothing changes you should say that it's not getting better >best at the end of the day.yes :D > What snack?salty trotia chips >slept like 10 hours and it was fine.oo niceyou deserve some good sleep
>>79470026>how are you today fren??hey cat, pretty lazy day, some of everything. I also might be sick, I'm not sure.>>79470423>That sucks then, I hope you get more ups then downsI hope we all get more ups and ups>>79470690>Still holding up with school? Yeah I'm doing well, I heard on my cousins might move back to my town and enroll in my college. Shes pretty cool, one of the people I could talk to for hours, she does CS aswell and wants to go into game development. I would love to make a game, but HELLL NOO would I work as game dev in a big studio.
>>79470816> anyone can do it.just need to be more careful but not going to be rushing to do kickflips over stairways right away xD> A ramen restaurant sounds good.I'm not a huge fan of japanese food but ramen is always nice. Pretty cold here now so especially satisfying these days>A weeb style always nice when someone is playing anime music instead of kpop like gets spammed at some of the ones i've been to lol>if you don't know what your doing.even if you do, rarely in the right mindset after those kinds of injuries in the first place>never really cared about my well being.you at least have to try not to let things get bad. know it seems you don't have a reason to care, but you should try>>79471089>another stew?no, rouladen, the German dish I always wanted to prepare but never got to. Was a huge ordeal to make it, but was amazing and made some mashed potatoes to and had a really nice meal overall>>79471126>might move back to my town and enroll in my college. always nice to have someone you get along with well. My sister went to my college when I was there but literally would avoid any interaction whole time lol>HELLL NOO would I work as game dev in a big studio.it's crazy crunch time deadlines, brutal work hours, not great pay (relative to working a regular corporate dev usually), and you can't really make what you want. so understandable even if you love games
>>79471089>well you should observe itOkay I will>if nothing changes you should say that it's not getting betterThat scares me to have to say something. I hope it gets better then.>salty trotia chipsOoo that's a great snack, very tasty.>you deserve some good sleepI guess so, we all deserve good sleep.>>79471126>I hope we all get more ups and upsYeah definitely better that way.>>79471302>just need to be more carefulYeah, should always be careful.>not going to be rushing to do kickflips over stairways right away xDSmart, that seems like a very hard trick, but practice makes perfect.>I'm not a huge fan of japanese foodThat's fair, I've never had any besides ramen.>Pretty cold here now so especially satisfying these daysThat's really nice then, it is a really nice meal when it's cold.>always nice when someone is playing anime musicAnime music is really nice sounding.>instead of kpop like gets spammed at some of the ones i've been to lolOh that's odd, I don't really like kpop and definitely would not expect that lol.>rarely in the right mindset after those kinds of injuries in the first placeThat's true, it's hard to be in a good mindset when you have a scary injury and stuff.>you at least have to try not to let things get bad.I'll at least try to not make myself physically sick or infected or anything, but I probably won't try to make myself not mentally messed up.>know it seems you don't have a reason to careYeah I feel like there isn't any. If I left he Internet no one would remember or care about me.>but you should tryWell maybe I will.
I'm going to sleep now frens goodnight everybody I hope you have a nice day/night and I'm sending you hugs
a friging bump
Why do you cut yourselves? Do you do drugs/drink?
>>79471395Goodnight cat. Sleep well.>I'm sending you hugsThanks.>>79472096>Why do you cut yourselves?I'm homeschooled.>Do you do drugs/drink?I can't
