can't believe you guys let my totally awesome thread die before reaching 100 replies. that's messed up!! it was a once in a century type of deal and ya blew it!!
>>79993083anyway add me on disc if you're a woman with effed up fetishes (like really gross and awful things) or autism (or both) tag is nekketsupowa
>>79993226sadly, im as vanilla as can be
>>79993736you can make up for it by talking my ear off about whatever autistic hyperfixations you might have while i swoon and become unhealthily obsessed with you leading to us entering a toxic codependent relationship that will slowly kill us both.... or something like that!
guess that was a tough sell....
i know having bpd as a guy automatically makes me unlovable to some people even though i'm great at keeping myself in check and i wouldn't go crazy on you for no reason or anything ghhhh
>>79993226ALSO pls be my age or older (mid 20s) because my heart belongs to christmas cakes. thank you!!!!
>>79993083>tfw no tired christmas cake gf with a crippling masturbation addiction and autistic interests is that too niche and hyper specific?
>>79996635my stupid animal brain needs mature gril pheromones.......
>>79993226applications still open but i'm starting to think there's no 24+ women on modern day arr nine kay
>>79993083this is a random thought i had, but it's interesting how much more mature even girls who're my own age seem when i compare them to myself. it feels like we're a decade of experience apart. back when i was a teenager, i went through a myriad of traumatic experiences all at once and it's like my brain got stuck at that specific point in time and never grew past it. i wouldn't really call it "age regression" or whatever those kinds of people call it, because unlike them, i don't just do it when it suits me, it's been my natural state of being ever since. but i can't relate to younger people either because i find their culture and the stuff they're into to be really off-putting and embarrassing most of the time. so i'm like, an adult with the brain of a 2000s teenager stuck in the modern day. not sure if anyone on the planet would find the idea of dating someone like me appealing at this point honestly. someone older would be the easiest to relate to but they'd probably hate how immature i am
>>79993083Link to dead thread? I want to read and critique how good it actually was
>>79998446here you go https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/79971532/#79971532don't get your hopes up, it's mostly me schizo posting at myself and then occasionally a girl i used to talk to would pop in and try to steal my thunder
>>79998471tell me about the girl and your old relationship, she comes up in your threads quite a lott.lurker
>>79998481hello lurker fren hello!! well, it's a bit more complicated than that. there's basically three girls. the first is the one i actually was in a 2 year relationship with (she used to stalk my posts too ages ago but gave up eventually) then there's the second girl which is the one who comes in all my threads just to call me BPD and tell others not to interact with me. she's upset that i didn't wanna be in a relationship with her a few years ago when my mental state was at an all time low and she's been resenting me ever since (understandable, honestly) then the third girl is the one i talked to recently, the overweight girl who keeps posting herself and her drawings here all the time. long story short we didn't mesh well together (you can find out why in the last thread) anddd that should clear everything up!
>>79993083Someone needs a big ol kiss right on their smoocher
>>79998547don't make me pucker up for nothin' now!!
>>79998553MWAHYou goofy goober you. I love the kind of person you are :D
>>79998581WHAT THE HECK!!! that's one of the nicest things someone ever said to me in my life....... i don't even know how to react im shakign right now AAA you made my entire day
>>79998597:D FUCK YEAHLETS GOOOOOWE MAKIN THE WEEK EASY AS FUCK TOONOTHIN TAKE MY HOMIE MC CHICKEN SLICE DOWN!!!!
>>79998621i read that in stone cold steve austin's voice for some reason!! RAISE SOME HELL!! HELL YEAH!! https://youtu.be/UXqAKNZvt4s?si=xYVUV3xv-DPIk9EN
>>79998653Love you anon :D NEVER STAHP MOTHA FRICKIN GAMIN LETS OOOKOOLLLI'm driving... I'ma crash LETS GOOOOOOOK
>>79998689WTF DON'T CRASH NOOOO!!!! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME OR I'LL FINSIH YOU OFF MYSELF!!!!!!!
>>79998712Why tf you melting my heart anon?
>>79998727perhaps fate itself has brought us together
woah the turn the thread took... fujoshisisters... it may be our time...
>>79998784NO!! stay down fujosisters!! there's nothing homosexual about spreading the love with your homies, five feet apart of course
>>79998742:( fate has made it to were I can't keep a friend long. I'm sorry anon...Maybe we meet in a different life were my soul has set on a better course..
>>79998804i understand and respect that.... but i want you to know that you already are and will always be my friend in my heart. we both gaze at the same starry sky at the end of the day, don't we? we're already closer than you think!
>>79998516The easy fix is just to rape the second.
>>79998828i can't fix her by giving her exactly what she wants out of me!!
>>79998822Damn anon, that's romantic as fuck. No one in my entire life has ever said anything like that to me..I have to go to bed now, so I can work tomorrow, gnight anon....
>>79998868HOPE YOU REST WELL!! and have a great day at work too!! and don't be so hard on yourself, you've got a kind soul and you deserve to be able to maintain connections with others! i believe you can do it so don't let me down (or i WILL find out)
>>79998891MWAH Goofy goober...
>>79998908TWO kisses in the same day?! i think i might've won the lottery of life
>>79998924I GO TO BED NOW ANON, GNIGHT XD
>>79998945you keep saying that and yet here you are!! *flips hair* am i that... irresistible?!
>>79998958Anon, I'm a grown ass man, who goes to work and them comes home. And does that again and again. These kind of interactions allow the little boy that I can still remember as me, be happy once in a while... You have no idea how much just a sweet little back and forth is so rare for me. But I actually gotta go now. I'm sure I'll find you again anon xD gnight mang.
>>79998987i'm happy i was able to help you get in touch with your emotions!! i notice a lot of people our age are very jaded and cynical and just sort of live each day going through the motions. i think that's a shame!! so i hope that by staying true to myself in public like this (even if i come across as a mentally ill mess) maybe that'll give others the courage to do the same. anyway thanks for the fun interaction and i do hope you sleep well!!!!
>>79999016Anyone like you anon, that I find in the wild, I violently guard xD
>>79999080dyslexia made me read that second part wrong for a sec and i was getting ready to clench my buttcheeks yowza
yowza indeed fujoshisisters
>>79999115XD 8) wut were u reed as gard?
>>79999126Smelly lurkers be lurkin it seems
>>79999126who was the seme and who was the uke though???>>79999133i have no idea what this means but i relate to the energy >>79999138i can smell you fujos from here!! gimme 10 sets of 5 reps of showering right nao
>>79999149What were you reading as guard >Wut were u reed as gard?The smellies do be smelin.
>>79999163nono, i read it more as "anyone like you anon, that i find in the wild, i VIOLATE" which made me laugh my ass off until i read it right
>>79999180Yikes Freudian slip yikes. Why is that on your mind anon? ITS SLEEPY TIME WHAT THE FRICK
>>79999196YOU'VE BEEN GOIN' TO BED FOR A WHILE NOW, HUH!!! also that stuff ain't on my mind at all!! i'm a nice, pure and sweet and innocent person
>>79999224>-> hmmmmmmmWell falling asleep takes a lil while aight?
>>79999242oh i bet!! especially when you're spending that time talking to me in this thread!!
>>79993083i remember i had my first poppin thread. it felt amazing and i loved reading all the replys and conversations people were having under a post i created!!!!
>>79999259ShhhhhhhhHHHHnever tell the crowd the wizards spells!!!Lest they know his magic...
>>79999149you're the uke but have strong seme vibes. ez>>79999138it's what i do
>>79999275WHATS POPPIN GAMER!!!! >>79999288but I MUST KNOW your most powerful spell!!! >>79999294>but have strong seme vibesthat's exactly what i wanted to hear love you fujo-chan
>>79999294What these mean? Esplain please
>>79999307This wizards assistant is apart of his spells, but they can't know them all! Then the shock on their face wouldn't be real! The shock of your face is what convinces the audience it's true!Brain so big, with many wrinkles!
>>79999308trust me you don't wanna know i tricked myself into playing Togainu no Chi when i was 12 without knowing it was a yaoi game. my eyes have never healed >>79999324you should be a freestyle rapper!!!!! yoyo
>>799993488lLelYou read my wizards explanation in freestyle rap. THE SPELS ARE WORKING ANON, MWAHAHAHAHAHA
>>79999365NOW mr. wizard, can you make PreCure real?!?!?! i want a magical girl wife.....
>>79999384Is astrology real or fake anon? Depending on your answer I can or can't.
>>79999406it's real. you have to believe in the stars because they shine so brilliantly all the time
>>79999425Then yes I can get you a magical grill waifu. You might be surprised, but like 90% of the girls walking around on the street are the magical waifu you want anon.
>>79999443>like 90% of the girls walking around on the street are the magical waifu you want anon.that is.... HUMONGOUS if FACTUAL!! maybe you're right and i've just never seen them transform into their magical girl forms because they gotta keep it a secret and all!
>>79999462You aren't using you portal looking glass correctly, you also have to have seen the girl in the looking glass and in real life too.But the specific magic spell I use in my looking glass is "INSTAMUS GRAMINGUS THE DOTS OF COMS" and you can watch them transform. They also use a kind powder mixture transform their faces. It's pretty wild to see.How have you not known this anon? Come on now...
>>79999493dude... you're expanding my mind so hard right now. i feel like i'm seeing in 4D. i'm perceiving colors i've never thought were real before. but also why are you perving on magical girls while they transform!!
>>799995158lNO ONE SAID THE OLD WIZARD WAS DOING SUCH A THING!!The magic is real anon... It actually is.. it only takes a mind to perceive it properly!
>>79998406hahaha, you're Porky Minch, you'll live for a thousand years in a weird immature halfway between bored and jaded adult, and mischevious kid... You can't connect to all these Tazmily village kids because their culture is so foreign to yours, you're stuck in a museum of Earthbound relics from your long-ago childhood, with nobody to share them withPSI Deep Dive: how old were you when you were, in a myriad of traumatic experiences, "groomed" by Carpainter, had your dad fired from your job by Monotoli, and then raped by Giygas?
>>79999539well... i perceive a real connection between us it was written in the stars we are bound by fate two destinies intertwined forevermore >>79999549KEK i never thought of Porky as "groomed" before, but that's an interesting interpretation of Earthbound if anything
>>79996635Imufatso, I hope you regress to before your own birth so your whorish existence can cease forevermore. Spoiled rotten new zealanders.
>>79999568Anon, the elusive "femanon" is a rare sight and basically not real, you must have a ying yang like me, correct? And if this is the case, I cannot hold your hand like I want to. Though the world's magic has tried to convert me, I am still straight as an arrow can be in the modern world.
>>79999588is this schizoposting hours or something? the heck does this even mean? botposting hours? >>79999590>I am still straight as an arrow can be in the modern world.you and me both man!!!!
>>79999603:O omg you're just a giga ultra max S teir head ass autist like ME?!?!
>>79999603And yes, I'd bet that's a actual ai robit.
>>79999616actual real genuine diagnosed autist unlike all the fakers you see on the internetz these days!! >>79999626dead internet theory is real
>>79999639My ass has burgersLETS GOOOOODiagnosed too.
>>79999643BADAZZwe are twinning so hard right now can't think of a more iconic duo we could form a wrestling tag team we'll call it the Autism Express
>>79999670Autism express like ali express or what?GIVE US NICKNAMES NOW
>>79999568"groomed" in quotes since my real headcanon is that porky was just playing along with carpainter sucking up to him to get power and influence as a #2though, maybe porky would've played along with grooming if it meant he got to lord over other subjects below himspeaking of being a 2000s brained teenager, ever played Viral by Lena nw?
>>79999698>like ali expressi was thinking more of an express train, the kind that makes no stops between its destinations, in order to represent our intestinal fortitude and unwavering ferocity >GIVE US NICKNAMES NOWUHH UHH you'll be the Epic Wizard and i'll be the Epic Mech Pilot!!>>79999740>Viral by Lena nwthis is the first time i'm hearing of this but i just went on the website and it's totally crazy. i can barely comprehend what i'm seeing
>>79999763Passenger literally have to jump on and off of a 100mph train Only true fans can stick with us xD
>>79999626pawseriously, I blow ONE dogwhistle to see if it's the autistic masturbation-addicted r9k lurker girl who I had a Grievance:tm: against, and now the uninitiated think I'm a chatbot for trying to be witty with in-jokes...
>>79999782YES!!!! they need GUTS and DEDICATION!!! >>79999788WELL you're barking up the wrong tree because i'm not a girl at all, i'm actually looking for a girlfriend, preferably one older than me with weird fetishes and cool interests
>>799997888lWhamenPlease no hurt ma'am thank you
this thread is making me cry. yugioh poster is like what my old bf could have been if the demiurge didn't curse his haggard cuntwaffle of a mother and his festering pile of wanksonks of a father to fuck his baby brain matter batter all up and make him allergic to happiness. fuck.keep being a ray of light in this dark dark worl yugiboy-o
>>79999788WAIT, YOU DARE CALL MY BROTHER, THE LEGENDARY OW-TIH-SIM?!?!? YOUR FATE IS OVER BUD, SAY GOOD BYE TO LIFE!!!!
>>79999821this is one of the funniest strings of words i have ever read!! i will always love yu gi oh!! i was actually rewatching 5Ds right now as we speak!! >>79999840HAHAHAH TELL 'EM TELL 'EM
>>79999818Lol, you're a Yu-Gi-Oh poster, hahahahahahahaMtg is better, can't change my mind
>>79999859MTG doesn't have a cool anime adaptation so it loses by default.... well, unless Duel Masters counts but that's really not the same
>>79999763I wish I knew of more games that were that perfect type of crazy, Nightmare Temptation Academy was my favorite, I played it obsessively in high school, but all the "more like this" games on itch.io are just queer dating simulators that play it straight, just stuff that's way too grounded in the real world
>>79999874MTG REQUIRES BRAINCELLS, strategy, also, my brother never taught me how to play, so I never learned D:
>>79999893to be honest with you i mostly play old console games so i don't even know what's going on on itch.io. i will recommend you this game called Baroque on PS1 though, it might be exactly what you're looking for!! i loved it a lot myself and became a favorite >>79999903WHO NEEDS STRATEGY WHEN YOU HAVE COOL LOOKING DRAGONS AND DARK MAGICIANS GIRLS AND AND EXODIA!!
>>79999928BROTHER SPAM TO GET THE 80M
>>79999840He's off the Hook of Doom, since he was somepony else. Lucky it wasn't them otherwise they'd have been burnt to the point of disfiguration and female-genital mutilated by my Digital Shinigami Eyes I got on a Devil Deal for a steal of a price at just two hearts.
>>79999928MTG IS BETTER FORVER COLLECT L
>>79999943BROTHERRRRRR>>79999946don't go clopping my mane too hard now >>79999949YOU COLLECT THIS FIST!! KAPOWWWWW
>>79999946AAAAAAAAAAAA IM FREAKING OUT AAAAAAA
>>79999960OMG ITS GUNNA BE US I KNOW KT, MTG IS BETTERRERRERR AAAAAAAAAAA I ALSO REALLY LIKE BOATS LETS GOOKKKKOO
>>79999960BOATS ARE SO FRICKIN COOL YOU HAVE NO IDEA KMGOM GOMG G GOGM
>>79999980>>80000008if you really like boats then name every boat Kantai Collection doesn't count
>>80000008NOOOOOOOOL OOF>>80000000I sure hope this post isn't a big yokest
>>80000034Me no know what that is ._.
HOLY FUG over 100 posts!!will this be the legendary thread that'll get me a girlfriend?!
>>80000071IT WILL LETS GOOOOOOOOO
>>80000098WE CAN'T GIVE UP NOW!! if any single christmas cake is reading this, my discord is literally in the first post. pls add me!!!!
>>80000116;0 my Innocence, it's gone
>>80000136NO!! you've only just regained it!!
>>80000148I shant le green texteth what I have readeth
>>80000172what was it.................... what did you read.............
>>80000177>F*et*shOk, I need to go to bed now xD, cya later lol
>>80000194>F*et*shDON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT!!!!>Ok, I need to go to bed now xD, cya later lolthank you for hanging out!!!! it was a pleasure and a joy!!!
>>80000218Np gamer, gnight
>>80000231don't let da bedbugs bite!!! OKAY now the girlfriend quest continues....
>>79993083alright, now that it's been over 100 posts, lemme re-introduce myself so we're all on the same page: hello ladies!! i'm nekketsupowa, the hot-blooded dumbass boyfriend of your dreams!! if you choose to date me, you'll receive my unlimited free time and my undivided attention and we could have as much fun as humanly possible!! i could show you lots of cool anime like The King of Braves GaoGaiGar of course, as well as mind-boggling retro games such as Parasite Eve, Galerians or Baroque!! so if this sounds awesome to you, hit me up!! don't be shy!! i'm not that scary!!
all that momentum and still no girlfriend.... my hopes and dreams...crushed in an instant
