>stop chasing girls when you're over 20. Just go live your life. What life? Please tell me, I genuinely want to know. I'm over 30 and the older I get, the more it hits me: I cant find ANY life or anything meaningful to do when I'm terminally single. Normal people think it's like a permanent vacation but in long term, what's left? What exactly do you do with your life when you're alone for 80 years? Hobbies help but I dont think they get to the level of emotional meaningfulness a romantic relationship would git.
>>80068182Wtf does "meaningful" mean here you have a totally fantastical view of romantic relationships in 2025
>>80068361Interpersonal relationships are the only meaningful thing in life, as opposed to interacting with videogames and books
>>80068182go out and talk to people, stop obsessing over muh love it's not real anyway
>>80068361Don't you think it's unfair to expect someone who is long term single to have perspective on life in a relationship?I agree, having relationships gives context to your life and actions. It gives you reasons to give a shit and it gives you stuff to do with your time. You come home from work and someone else is there who was expecting you. You have someone else's desires to account for. Someone to notice when something is off with you. Someone to think about. As another terminally single guy it's dull. Even my coworkers who have relationship problems. They have stuff going on, and I feel like I don't. I don't have anything to talk about in my personal life. It also gives meaning in the sense that your relationship has a direction and a destination. You want to find a spouse, and have kids some day. When you're with someone you can think what that would be like with them. I think about that stuff too, but my future family life isn't a dream about me and another person, but me and this nebulous concept of a woman, all the particulars to be determined. I want to dream about it, but what is it? As I get older, I'm not settling deeper into a bond with my future partner, I'm settling deeper into a life without any partner. I think about what it's gonna be like when I'm 40 and alone, 50 and alone, am I even going to live to 60 because being alone is a health risk. How long is my dead body going to rot in my house before someone checks on me and notices I'm dead? There's a wrongness to how I live and having a romantic partner is the solution to that, but it's a problem only someone else can fix for me.
>>80068568I'm a 35yo single guy and this is a good post. This sums it up.I have no idea what to do about this, because I dont even cant date my agematch at this point. They're married for the 2nd time right now.
>>80068182>>80068568>>80068616Every guy over 30 knows what you're talking about but you sound like a whiny entitled teenager about it. Nobody is ever coming to fix your loneliness for you. If it bothers you that much either go do something to change it yourself or get used to life completely alone. At some point you have to stop living for fantasies and accept the life you're in. You're still thinking about life like it's a fictional romantic comedy. Real life isn't some clean linear path script where you get a good ending no matter what. It's messy and mostly stupid and brutal. Either learn how to accept your circumstances or go try something else. You are alone stop looking at like some temporary condition.
>>80068616you can literally date foids 20 to 50 now without it being too creepy on the extreme ends
>>80068616and why the fuck do you care if they're married, that's not your responsibility it's theirs>I have a consciencewell drop it, life's unfair
>>80068716We are the first generation where good-looking and successful men live and die without a companion, because They made it impossible.In 10-20 years Tinder and social media will be gone and mating will normalize, but its too late.You're pinning success on me when there's somebody else adjusting the difficulty setting.
>>80068758It's not about "success" it's about the reality of your situation. You asked how do you move on with life. Imagine all females under 40 died today. How would you live the rest of your life starting tomorrow? That's your answer.
>>80068909Isnt zen buddhism basically just glorified defeatism?
>>80068716>Stop whining and accept what you've gotWhat the fuck dude, I'm just talking about how I feel about it. I know real life relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows, nothing in what I said indicates that I think they would be. I have a men's support group and I'm like one of the only single guys. So often I hear about the relationship troubles these guys have, and I read about them here too. I hear them say "you single guys don't know how good you have it" and I'm trying to answer that sentiment. Coupled men may have problems, but the space is mapped out, you know who you're dealing with, you can come up with things to make that relationship stronger. I have to figure out all that still, and a lot of advice I get is like "stop trying so hard to find someone, she'll come to you without you looking" but that advice is even less helpful, because when do I decide that doing nothing isn't working and try something again?
>>80068182However, I believe that buying a Said Sandero might be good enough to get a girlfriend.
>>80069010>SaidDacia, but you know what I mean.
>>80068927Correct. It's why they built those temples far away from the city. It's where they shipped away all their surplus men to brainwash them into finding purpose in nothingness.
>>80068949How do guys like you get all the way to your 30s never considering the possibility that maybe just maybe you'll never get what you want? No matter what you do. You're like a 5 year old pissed no matter how many chores he does mom and dad won't buy that toy he insists he needs and deserves. Everybody can empathize with your feelings of loneliness and boredom but in real life it doesn't go how you want just because you want it to. The OP is asking how you live on but you just want to whine for answers on how to get what you want anyways somehow. You're not getting what you want that's the point of what I'm saying. Learn how to wrap your mind around that. If you insist "that's just giving up" then stop talking about moving on and go ask out random roasties at a bar or something play the numbers and ask out as many as you can. You either want to move on alone or not.
>>80068182>anything meaningful>level of emotional meaningfulnessWhy do you need or want this?
>>80069176There is no free will, and 100% of our bodies have been pre-programmed to seek company and social success.You cant even question it at this point, you'd have to remake the entire species.>>80069173It's not possible. In nature you can see animals going apeshit during mating season if they dont get laid. Some birds commit suicide by stopping breathing. Incels are no different.
>>80069173>You're a whiny baby for being at bargaining and not acceptanceYou're pretty terrible at being an empathetic listener anon.
>>80068182>What life? Please tell me, I genuinely want to know.Purpose in other things. The only happy permavirgin I ever met was the custodian at my elementary school. He was never in a sour mood, always nice to the kids, and was big into woodworking/wood burning and would make all the character awards/trophies every year. He would paint carve and paint a statue of any animal a student wanted if they gave him a 500 word research paper about that animal. He lived until he was 79 and was commemorated with a big metal plaque that's on display at the school.You've basically got to position yourself in a line of work where you get to see a lot of smiling faces. It's the only thing I've seen that even remotely matches the sense of purpose that comes from raising your own children.
>>80069279>You've basically got to position yourself in a line of work where you get to see a lot of smiling faces.I'm an unemployable permavirgin. I'm fucked. I literally cant get yobs, I meant at least not the meaningful ones where you get to affect peoples lives.
Op you are right, there is nothing in life after 30 if you don't have a partner. You should seek one out with all your might and likely settle too. Maybe you won't have great love, ever, but you will have a tribe. There some copes but they outside of "life". Tulpamaxing, living entirely through fantasies in your head, lucid dreaming. You can polish it all like skills, I lived for two years in a complete oblivion in regards to real life. But being with a partner is 100 times better still>>80069176Maybe because living for selfish reasons and anhedonia just gets old and doesn't feel good anymore
>>80068949> "you single guys don't know how good you have it" Always nonsense. They could have it too, they could just exit the relationship. >stop trying so hard to find someone, she'll come to you without you lookingWhat people mean by this is that cold approaching dating app swiping has a poor return on investment. The constant rejection will eat away at you, making you increasingly miserable, and in turn making you even less likely to be successful.They found success in dating by doing things like going to a party. They weren't going to the party for the explicit purpose of finding a partner, they were there to have fun. Once they cut loose, had some fun, and started living in the moment they were more pleasant to be around. Eventually they have a chance encounter with a woman at one of these events, hit it off, and form a relationship from there. Very scary to do this, and none of it is guaranteed. You should be going out to fun events every single weekend. Your only mission should be to have fun. That's how you maximize your opportunity at an organic meeting/chance encounter. At the end of the day, we're all seeking purpose and comfort. Dudes in bad relationships have purpose, but no comfort. They envy your perceived comfort, you envy their perceived purpose. They just don't quite understand that people kill themselves over a lack of purpose, and not a lack of comfort. Lacking purpose is much worse.
>>80068182this is just complete nonsensenormies do basically nothing but socialize in their 20s
>>80069367>You should be going out to fun events every single weekend.Where? I'm a 36yo Christian who doesnt drink and goes to bed at 22:00 and I live in a village in AlaskaNo anime conventions weekly
>>80069399bro when your friends invite you to a party just say yes bro! whats your problem?
>>80069320Like I said, he was a custodian. If I had to guess, maybe 90 IQ at best. You're definitely capable of that level of work. You're right to be demoralized about it, though. Very few people get to work at that kind of skill level while also seeing lots of smiling faces.
>>80069399>AlaskaThere's your problem, holy shit dude. The apathy makes a lot more sense now. You were supposed to abandon that wasteland and move to Portland or Seattle like all the other Alaskans.
Can anyone here confirm relationships are actually meaningful? I've only been in one and it was underwhelming. Didn't feel much more than a friend who you can fuck. I dont really care about women or romance besides this vague feeling that I might be missing on something
>>80069523They have to escalate to a point of mutual commitment. First couple years is just about feeling each other out to see if a lifetime bond is viable. Once you have children everything feels purposeful. >I dont really care about women or romance besides this vague feeling that I might be missing on somethingSounds to me like you had to wear a condom almost every time you had sex. Common problem. If the sex is pretend, then the relationship feels pretend too. You've got to be busting raw nuts inside them for your brain to rewire and assign her as the target of your devotion.Give it one more shot. If you can cum inside them for 6 months and still feel nothing for them then you probably never will. Something wrong with your brain, and you aren't missing out on anything.
>>80068405Peasant brained. How many retarded posts have u written that have the words "alienation" or "community" somewhere? Be honest>>80069320"Meaningful jobs" is an oxymoron "work" generally is no more meaningful or dignified or important than leisure>>80068568No, not at all. Unless you were chained to a radiator in your basement or something throughout your adolescence in which case u have my condolences. "Context" so it's about structure? Context = meaning = purpose? Most relationships are utterly pointless especially now, you don't have to have ever been in one to see that. Maybe if you're an only child with a small family and very limited exposure to other couples or families I can see where the fantasies come from, but this is all just daydreaming and trying to map value on to things that the people who actually partake clearly don't actually see or hold in high esteem. Other people are not going to be able to give you purpose or whatever emotional gratification you've been wishing for. Especially modern women! What the fuck
>>80069399> alaskaIt's so over for you bro
>>80069407Anon I'm a fucking physicist by education
>>80070085Then what's your fucking problem? Get a job, retard.
>>80068182ya, some people wont accept that for many of us we need a proper purpose in order to live. turning it ass backwards doesn't fix it, working the other direction and expecting what you want to fall in your lap is stupid and everyone knows it.
>>80069261Over 30 you should be at acceptance already. Wtf is with so many in my generation acting like we're still little we babies. My man we're middle aged already the fuck you think is gana happen? When you planning to learn to live your life as is 40? 50? You should have been "bargaining" ten years ago if you can't accept it.
>>80068182Read "The Menu: Life without the opposite sex" by Aaron Clarey.
>>80068927Some with Stoicism; mere copes to get one to accept their pitiful, desperate existence.
>>80069354>I lived for two years in a complete oblivion in regards to real lifeTips on how to give in and subsist entirely on delusions?
>>80071128Nah mate, I'm just not going to be friendly to people and put it minimal/zero effort into the environment and society around me. I'm not going to care about fixing your leaking pipes or the quality of my work.
>>80068182Hey anon, I'm the one who posted that on the previous thread. You forgot to mention you were chatting a 17yo up.
