>some bitch I talk to has the 6 feet standards >I introduce myself to her on a dating app, I say I meet the requirements>we talk for a bit and the conversation seems to spark>we set up a date >I arrive in a dark blue tuxedo but she has a look of disappointment and disgust>asks me "anon, you don't meet the requirements.">"oh yes I do miss, [her last name]">say it in an awkward slow monotonous tone like the gman, give her that look he also gives>loft a plastic bag from suitcase>I bring a suitcase with me because autistic obsession of gman this will come useful later>now she looks concerned as I slide it over to her >hesitantly, she reaches for the bag and opens it>6 vagankle fleshlights pour out into the table as she looks at it in dismay>"every single one is for you, but the price of this has unforseen consequences">my eyes narrow now leaning on the tables towards>she is extremely uncomfortable now >get the attention of the entire diner now>they are all your average hipster Millennial >they are too sheepish to stand against me as I eminate the power of thousands of shu'ulathoi larva.>I give her an ultimatum about accepting the offer or to be terminated from employment >I focus my right hand towards the door trying to summon a portal>now people in the building thing I've completely lost it>she politely takes the bag, she will toss it away later but lol>tell her the people looking at me block my warping abilities >walk into the bathroom>have a nervous break down in the bathroom because never confident enough to spill the spaghetti from my pockets in public >bolt out of the dinner as fast as I can screaming from the to of my lungs my final solution is being mobilized
