items items items all the way edition
It SeasideARMY thread x
>>80078912Get in there my leeeeds
>>80078936How many Creamcake Mondays and Eclair Thursdays that belly taken? It proof man can live on lush treats. He get that pie, he get that chips, he get those sweet treats... realistically he lives like medieval King. Our ancestors would be proud of the snacks he eats and that is beyond LUSH and a WOW when you think about it.
Already excited about breakfast
>>80078977Kinell I lost me toaster gif. Someone give me my toaster gif back cheers
>>80078998curse i got it mate
>>80079006SeasideArmy coming through with the goods. Never in doubt pal.
fuck you and your ssm edition
>>80079060Don't get wupset my leed every day we above ground's a great day
>>80078977>>80079006He teach me secret grilled cheese hack.We all crave a little cheesy sandwich in life. xWe all SeasideCREED.
Natural asmr voice
Its called treat Mark day x
>Every day above ground a great day.>Keep it positive, energised, social and happy.>Stop the negative, sad, lonely and depressed.>Go out there, no point sitting in your house like hermit.>Meet your own Helen mummy, there lots of lonely women out there who beg for recognition and love.>Spend time out there being positive and good.>It secret to the SeasideCREED. The more we learn from SeasideMARK the better we become.It's the way.
rest in peace david lynchdvdlad must be devastated
>>80079136Genuinely a better creed than any major religion out there
reminder that seasidemarks life is YOUR FUTURE
>>80079164It's terrible isn't it?How is one man from Nottinghamshire so reaffirming to the base comforts of our life? He combines utilitarianism with reality. He bring the good into our hearts and teach people to appreciate what they have. This a Seaside Thread.
>>80079182>He thinks this is bad.>He thinks living life with multiple items is bad.>He thinks having hot pounding sex with THICK Helen is bad>He thinks cooking is off the cards three days a week courtesy of your hot girlfriend.
watching my favourite gay cruising couple on aputube, fren and david
trying to be positive in life and trying to fink myself lucky even though life hard x
>>80079277So you're just trying to delude yourself?
LUSH LUSH LUSH thread
>>80079341without delusion how else are we supposed to get through the next 40 years
>>80079352By actually making your life decent maybe?
>>80079388good one thatcher
Oh my god I'm about to cuuuuuum!
>>80079477no wanking day 3 coming on strong for me
united losing to southampton kek
massive sads this even lids, no idea why, just sads
>>80079519I get this feeling quite regularly :(
havent masturbated in ages now, the depression is coming on strong without my coping mechanism to distract me. but i have to feel the pain
how long is helper's ban/
>>80079571care home wont let him reset router
It a nu breadingtonIt right
>>80079552Same lad. Used to wank like it was going out of fashion. Nowadays even just seeing a still image of a pornstar makes me feel like killing myself. I just want sex.
Remybros? Yeah, I'm thinking we're back!
>>80079646i dont care about sex, i want someone to just genuinely like me. we live in the loneliest of all possible worlds. it was never meant to be this way
Oi you got a loiscence for looking at that porn, son?
>>80079679so basically every website requires id now? pisstake
how do i go about acquiring an ai gf? whats the best place to go?
>>80079686The UK government would have it no other way if possible. Total control of every aspect of our lives, for our own good mind you!
>>80079686not gonna happen mate dont worry
>>80079691theyre all shit dont bother lol
Just received an urgent SOS from Sunderland. An alien spacecraft has landed and taken HHL hostage. They are demanding to speak to the UK deputy chairman and wont release him unless the launch of Starship this evening is cancelled
Just got an urgent bean bulletin from Banbury
Just got an urgent cum communication from Castlemilk
How do I stop looking/reading things that make me upset? Cant help it, its like Im drawn to it.
>>80079716Are they going to anally ra- I mean probe him?
>>80079729Well don't leave us in suspense. What did it say
>>80079702Why won't it?
>>80079822It says:>Shippy rejected by prostitute
>>80079883Nta but they make the same proclamations every couple of years. Nothing ever happens.
>>80079899I know that, but this time we have a new government that loves Orwellian shit, so it could happen.
Got fuckall done.So no drinking.But ill get hammered tomoro either way.Too deep in melancholy arc rn. Feel like dying. Need 2 do something.
Fuck Im so depressed I might start taking up drinking to numb the pain. Whats a good beer or alcohol to start with?
>>80079914>Feel like dying.I also feel like you should die, lad.
>>80079914you missing your nightmong mate
>>80079914fresh start 2025 going well two weeks in lad
>>80079941Not nice. Negative karma comes back onto you like a boomerang. Its bad for the soul.
>>80079936Heineken, Stella, any cider >>80079959Ill send him a msg.I should have before byt I've barely been out of bed since last week.
When i was really suicidal it was actually a buzz i felt motivated whimsical.Now am just stuck here in this gay normie world. 1 day the ppl from my home planet will come back nd vapourise all the filth.
>>80080057Have you ever considered that you might be the problem? You might be the one dragging yourself down? You might be the one holding yourself back?
>>80079936That would only exacerbate the situation lad
might go the shop and get a few tinnies
>>80080068I had to deal with this, it's my internal laziness, I'm reluctamt to change the situation.
How many items ya got my Leeds?
>>80080345Off the top of my head:2x personal laptops (plus 1x work laptop, but that doesn't really count)1x phone1x gaming pc1x big gaming monitor2x headphones1x mechanical keyboard1x espresso machine
https://x.com/adavenport354/status/1880026262254809115/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1880026262254809115¤tTweetUser=adavenport354
>>80080441is it them aliens
>>80080447>is it them aliensAye bastids
>>80079716>>80080441Anons, what did they mean by this
>>80080441me if i was an aliens flying through the sky and getting filmed by some cunt
Me? You know it's Linux.
Dead in here tonight. Shaggers must be busy.
>>80080833Me? Been watching Charlie's Angels all day de liiiid.
>>80080605Debian 12 'bookworm' here.
Beddingburgh appears to be calling the wimaginary wamphibianIt shall be heeding said call in a most timely fashion
it's a shame about ruth not caring anymore. maybe I just don't know something. makes me feel bad desu.
>>80081037Not caring about what? YouTube? Think she's long moved on from that and is just enjoying Uni life.
>>80081037Love you lad, one of my favourite posters.
>>80081118Yeah she probably is.>>80081166Favourite? I'm just a sad person.
I'm just gonna die alone and sexless.
Think it an all nighter type of night to fix my sleep schedule de liiiiiids.
Really liked her blonde.
Watching Scottish lass. She'd be a good gf but you know she's definitely the type of girl who wouldn't want someone sad to dampen her spirit. Definitely high maintenance.
Always amazed at the error correction on scratched up DVDs on Blu-ray players. Have had discs I was certain wouldn't work that have been flawless.
went late night shopping at asda and bought myself a box of chocolates as a treat for being such a good hardworking lid
>>80081733Corrr I'd love a big bar of chocolate. If I didn't have such shame I'd eat chocolate all day until I was obese and leaking sugar from my veins.
Done me spaffingtons in for today
>>80081292tried this on numerous occasions, never worked for me but good luck allnightanon
I'm so stressed out bros.
>>80081973whats stressing you out anon m8?
>>80081973How do I de-stress?
>>80081976tldr father had a stroke, mother is a hoarder, looking for a new job right now to avoid going back to NEET status
has the countdown timer just put off loads of people posting? used to feel like on certain boards you could go back 90 mins later and it'd be all pretty much new threads
>>80082023>has the countdown timer just put off loads of people posting?Just phone posters
>>80082023Imageboards are dying out as more millennials kill themselves or move on.
>>80081461No girls want someone sad
>>80081118Ruth is enjoying uni cock
>>80082288Yeah but I bet a man will date a sad girl.>>80082297No she isn't.
There are no jobs for me. I don't want one anyway. Not going to beg for one that pays me poverty wages and doesn't improve my life.
>>80082480Might as well milk the system my lid even reddit normies hate neets but u know normies hated me when i was working too so what difference does it make?
https://files.catbox.moe/4oxnrt.webm x
>>80082550I guess while you still can. Hopefully you're forced into doing something part time and the bennies system can reset... and we get taxed less.Could only dream.>>80082373>>80082297She probably is lad.
>>80082572You cant force neets to do anything. Even if i want to do it, once you make it mandatory am not doing it.
Bed time. Sick of life.
Goooooood morning de lads today will be a great day!
Just ate a delicious breakfast
1 pound 51 pence left in my bank account
catberg woke me up again
Just dragged the Apus kicking and screaming onto their computers for the daily QMEE farm. No breakfast for any of them until they've earnt at least a fiver - and even then - once they get to breakfast they likely only get porridge made with water or cornflakes and some of them may have to share. Profit margins are thin and if you spare the lash, you spoil the frog as the Wictorians used to say.
Keeping the threadington-alive-on-the-NazeAm I not?
>>80083336>is it a day? Check>are we above ground?CheckAll the prerequisites for a great day have been met.
>>80083336>>80083813>Wake up>No enthusiastic blowjob from a non-fat woman Day ruined
Doing the classic Seaside "Morning de lads" dance. Morning de lads and morning de lads, morning de lads and that's a morning de lads. Starting day fresh, healthy, positive and spiritually minded. Not spending today sat in sad, lonely bored and depressed. Going out and living it large like the Whistle Posse blows. Keeping it all a little Seaside and to be honest; that is a lush and a WOW!
Steak and Ale pie coming on strong; it a bit out of date but it frozen, it not going off or rotting in his freezer. How does he keep his dinner so lush?
>>80083902rank desu thats not going to be edible anymore
>>80083902Of course he's eating rotten food and not even blinking. Some people just degenerate into animals when they spiral enough mentally and physically.
Tescos was playing that working 9 to 5 song while the wagies pack the shelves and trolleys. It's not right
>>80083902How is someone even able to keep something like that in their freezer for years? All those times he's complained about not having money for food and stuff, he's just had a freezer full sitting right there and he didn't go for it. Why?
>>80083953>>80083981>>80083991>Deep frozen>rottenFoods stored in that environment only degrade in flavour and nutritional value; they do not rot in that environment.
>>80083987Mine was playing I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado LOOOOOOOL
>>80083991hes tapped innit?
>>80083995Just because you keep it in a freezer doesn't mean it'll keep indefinitely
>>80084015Five years I could understand, but it only been frozen for one year. IT still lush.
>>80084023Its 2025 lad
Haven't kept up to date with the SSM news for a few days. What's his item count now?
>>80084121>Haven't kept up to date with the SSM news for a few daysWhy?
Morning britfeelchat group x
>>80084181Back for another day of projecting I see.
>>80084246What am I or will I be projecting professor?
>>80084251The same shite you do every day lad, and you know it
>submit your meter readings so you only pay what you owe>submit my meter readings monthly like a good boy>'we are increasing your direct debit by 22 quid'>what, that's more than what I owe>'if you want to reduce your direct debit by more than 10 quid, get in touch'cunts, the lot of them
>>80079691my best mate has a PhD in neuroscience and is working on one at the moment (with his actual gf I might add). I'll let you know when it's ready lad
>>80084317How does that even work? Genuinely interested but keep simple because I'm daft as a brush.
>>80084279I've got a smart meter, get some periods of free extra electricity and any extra credit I can claim back online. Sounds like you need a better supplier
>>80084325if I knew I'd tell you lad, I'm as clueless as you. but he told me about it recently when I saw him. he got asked to work on an AI gf project by some big company but refused because it wasn't ethical. so he's trying to make some sort of ethical AI gf. utter woke nonsense it sounds like really.
>>80084341Tell him that /britfeel/ wants him to make an AI sexbot that loves NEETs, and is available at 3.99 per month.
Just got up me. Cuppa wuppas on tap.
*Informs the wapus that Jessica Alba is single again*
>>80084407Disgusting mutt she is
Just want to shag but cant find a woman who is interested in me
>>80083671It not fucking right. Most of them will still be in mourning over David Lynch's death. Will be reporting this to SPACCA.
>>80084449Have you tried DMing Jessica Alba?
>>80085555 would be a nice get for are titlod
>>80084341>unethicalsociety would rather let lonely lads go their whole life loveless and socially isolated than let fake women on a computer screen be objectified
>>80084505that's a lot of items
Who me? Yeah, it's Linux, how could you tell?
Two rustlers cheeseburgers for brekky. Kinda grim but better than nowt.
>>80084598They ALWAYS give me the shits. No exception. Praying for your bowels dee lad.
Philosophical arguments can be used to discredit and 'deconvert' people because they show contradictions or impossibilities or absurdities in religious claims (although in practice this only really works on a few people). However, no person ever in the history of the planet has ever been converted to faith by use of philosophical arguments. Academic discourse is mostly pointless for such things.
>>80084608Ordering wizza tonight too. I'm greasemaxxing today.
>>80084621Remember that it's not illegal to greasemaxx for days on end, collect your rancid shits, funnel those shits into plastic bags, vacuum seal the bags and then mail those vacuum sealed bags of rancid shit to Mark Edwards in Wareham.
>>80084627>then mail those vacuum sealed bags of rancid shit to Mark Edwards in Wareham.why
>>80084652I dunno, not saying I would do it, but I'm saying that it's simply not illegal. You don't need to justify perfectly legal actions.
what a lifehttps://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/%22mark%20edwards%20in%20wareham%22/
COME ON BOBBI YOU BLOODY BENCHOD BISH
So glad it's getting warmer and I can trim my pubes again and feel pretty.
>>80084771False spring, it will snow again before summer, your willy/balls will freeze.
Incredibly tired but my mong brain won't let me sleep
eagerly awaiting my willy pills
I imagine maliciously sending someone shit in the post is in fact illegal.
THICC Helen
>>80084899i know someone who bought a car and it blew up a week laterThey found a company that will mail a big pile of horse shit to anyone anonymously
>>80084943Doesn't make it any less illegal
>>80084899It's fertiliserhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJm_VUKuclQ
I'M WOMFIN' IN THE RAINJUST WOMFIN' IN THE RAINWHAT A WONDERFUL FEEEEEELINGI'M WOMFY AGAIN
Fucking love Almonds, me. Have a little bowl every morning with my woffee.
Two proper fucking freaks on Bargain Hunt today. Female lardass with a tattoo on her forehead.
>>80085036Almonds loosen up your pelvic floor muscles
>>80085062This sounds like total bollocks tbqh de liiiiid. Also love walnuts and hazlenuts. Walnuts I pretend I'm eating little brains.
>>80085068That's a good thing if you have a tight pelvic floor to eat almonds. You DON'T want a tight floor muscles, they need to be balanced
>>80085071I'll take your word on it, lad. Is this a gay thing? I don't take it up the arse if that's what you're implying.
Ruths almond tasting tuppence
>>80085084Sitting down and clenching the PF muscles during faps causes tightness. To counteract you do diaphragmatic breathing into your low stomach and reverse kegels (when you force a piss out) to restore balance.
Just purchased The Truman Show on 4K. Apparently it's a massive improvement over the shitty Blu-ray and I only had the DVD. One of my favourite films so this should be a lush.
>>80085129NIce lidDo you think 4k will be the limit? do you think you will need to rebuy everything eventually in 8k?
>>80085129HHL loves this movie too
Bonnie Blue's cavernous tuppence
>>80085178I think 4K is the limit for a long while, lad. There isn't even any content in 8K and AFAIK there is a ceiling of detail from scanning old film in 4K so there's no point going further. I'm by no means an expert so I'm not 100 percent sure. Most people aren't even getting true 4K on streaming either and the discs are still very much a niche market.As to rebuying, if I own something on Blu-ray I don't even bother to upgrade to 4K unless it's one of my favourite films like LOTR or Mulholland Drive. I'm happy with DVD for a lot of stuff I own too, not really a snob that way.
>>80085181HHL thinks he is Truman tbqh. The silly sausage.
only have 2 items me
>>80085205Me? I have:>nintendo switch>ps5>ps4>ps3>ps2>ps1>xbox series x>xbox one s>xbox 360>lenovo laptop>lenovo tablet>motorola mobile phone>philips tv>seinheiser bluetooth headphones>grado sr80e headphones>panasonic 4k blu-ray player>sony blu-ray player>amazon 4k fire stickI have to say... it LUSH.
Brown hair and brown eyes are underrated.
Went for a pint with a mate last night who I haven't seen for years. He went on a dating site pretending to be a woman and arranged for a black guy to come to the same pub as us at the same time to meet "her". It was bizarre but he was acting like it was the most amazing thing in the world, squirming around with excitement waiting for this black guy to come through the door. And then the really weird bit was the guy didn't turn up, and then my mate told me he was lying to me and he made the whole thing up "for a laugh." Very strange evening at the pub.
Gotten up again, mePhwaor
>>80085205Some days we have two items, some days we have 8 items. It's all lush de lad get in there
I would be my life savings that DVDlad hasn't actually watched a film in years.
>"FBI shuts down DEI office"*Taps sign*The pre-WW3 faux woke rollback continues unabated
>>80085397*nothing happens**yawn*okay mate, wake me up when something serious happens yeah?
>>80082657I'd rather be homeless than work. Working isn't enjoyable whatsoever for me. I couldn't imagine myself just slaving in a warehouse or cleaning toilets for decades. Just thinking of it gives me a funny feeling in my stomach.
>>80084627>>80084652>>80084675>>80084899>>80084943>>80084948>>80084997Sending a turd to someone in the mail can incur worse repercussions than just legal ones. Be careful what you start. Watch this video from 44:36 to 47:00 to see how dangerous literal shitposting can really be.<iframe width="853" height="480" src="//ok.ru/videoembed/1495029058240?nochat=1" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay" allowfullscreen></iframe>
>>80085426Well fucked that up haven't I? It was from a russian site so I couldn't really read how to copy the link properly. Please excuse me now as I am going to poo in a box and send it to myself, then commit suicide.
>>80084899It's not. It's literally legal in that there is no law which prevents it which could be used to prosecute someone. People have been brought to court before on the grounds of sending shit in the mail but nobody has been convicted or charged with anything because it's a black hole in the legal system.
>>80085322thats hilarious matebrilliant idea from your mate
>mentions literal shitposting>makes a literal shit postvery nice
It is quite simply not illegal to mail someone a lump of shit.
>>80085423And you think being homeless would be more enjoyable?
gotta close lid before flushing
maybe human shit is illegal but i feel horse shit would be perfectly acceptable, probably preferred by royal mail and yodel over all other potential postal shits
>>80085459It would be depressing but at least I'd not look back thinking how many years I wasted doing something I hate.
>>80085451Well it's one thing to joke around, but all of the lies and his excitement about them was weird to say the least.
>>80085474>id rather live in a piss filled alley way with junkies and rats because working some low skill job is "above me"Yeah lad
>>80085474Do you not look back thinking how many years you wasted sitting alone in your bedroom?
>>80085480he fantasises about things like this because it would make him even more of a victim
Here you go lads:https://www.legislation.gov.uk/explore/legislatures/ukEvery act ever implemented on record. You are more than welcome to browse the entire thing, but I promise you that you simply will not find anywhere that prohibits in law the sending of human waste via the mail.
>>80085498section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1988 for a start
>>80085371I've watched 11 films in the past week so you're wrong.
>>80085480I'd probably be homeless with a low paid job anyway.
>>80085498Worked in royal mail and occasionally you'd get stool samples in jam jars being sent to doctors Thankfully i never came across a broken one Plenty of animal/human blood samples also
>>80085516>is guilty of an offence if his purpose, or one of his purposes, in sending it is that it should, so far as falling within paragraph (a) or (b) above, cause distress or anxiety to the recipient or to any other person to whom he intends that it or its contents or nature should be communicated.Okay, so literally not illegal if I have no intention of causing distress or anxiety.
>>80085231lush indeed. >samsung phone>thinkpadall I have
Bit hungover, got the soulsfu on yapping away while I make lunch
they got me for malicious coms once. after a few months I got my stuff back. they requested the boot password to the linux machine but I forgot it. no further action.
>>80085231I used to have tons of stuff like this, but a few years ago I decided to do a big cleanout (of everything in my flat, not just items) and haven't looked back since. Right now my items are:>thinkpad (running arch)>mid-range chink phone>big curved monitorThat's it. Feels much nicer desu.
>open package containing turd>have panic attacklel
>>80085583Lol, for real? What did they say you did?
>>80085587>open package containing turd>have panic attack>realise it's not illegal and you have no recourse>have bigger panic attack>hope on youtube and spazz out about 'twolls' (even though it was not sent with the intent to cause stress or anxiety)Mark Edwards in Wareham would be having an absolute FIT over this lol.
>>80085592A female made up lies and they tried to get me on that and harassment. They never told me who it was too in interview. Very sketchy situation. Probably hoped I'd be intimidated into admitting guilt and get a "crime solved" for their statistics.
>>80085620Every day you come here and burden us with your ridiculous larps
>>80085558just sharing a lil nice poo with a friend, nothing wrong with that
>>80085666Not even that. I don't NEED a reason to send something in the mail. I can just choose to send it. I have no malicious intent, no desire or purpose to cause stress or anxiety etc. I simply want to send Mark Edwards in Wareham a package filled with vacuum-sealed plastic bags full of rancid human waste collected over several days of eating goyslop. I have no horse in the race. Purely neutral.
Please dont send SSM a bag of shit in the post.
>>80085707Why not? It's not illegal to do so.
>>80085583mark got done for the same thing when he got drunk and sent threats through email to his MP
>go outside to shopping centre>it's mostly broccoli haircuts on young white men, north face jackets on 80% of people and muslims with several sprogs
I must now do the thing, mustn't i
>>80085718>It's not illegal to do so.Reckon it is desu
mark enjoys a bit of poo anyway, seem him handling and poking his own on cam before
>>80085743It's not, I've posted it many times. There is no specific law against it and the closest other bit of legislation requires intent to cause distress or anxiety, neither of which are my purpose with doing so.
I remember lots of people saying Labour are going to be a pro-growth, pro-building government. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Titlod didn't turn up for >>80085555 missed opportunity sadly
That cat has probably seen some good views of her.
>>80085798he was here yesterday so that's probably it until 2026
>>80085763>neither of which are my purpose with doing so.clearly is though isn't it
>>80085798Instead it was someone posting a webm for the 10th time. Sad.
>>80085771>Putting socialists in charge of the economy, part 1000>Hey it failed again
>>80085837Should let people like you who are right wing free marketeers but also somehow skint do it instead?
current labour are socialistsho ho ha ha ha haaaaaa
>>80085825No, it isn't. Nor can it be proven to be.
>>80085924Are they not? Honest question.
Are auditors good people? Is that their job?
>>80085940Do they behave like good people? Well not really. They kind of behave like twats desu.
Mad how the homicide figures for London during WW2 simply don't exist. They basically gave up trying to track them due to the bombings and deaths from wounded returning home and stuff. You could've been a serial killer and gotten away with it scot-free. Mad innit?
>>80085940Of course not. Their whole thing is about being deliberately annoying on purpose.
>>80085807Very SSM looking there. Nice round face
>>80085949Most of them are good. It's the people that often start the aggro just because they are filming in public.
>>80085967Sometimes but when they get arrested I can't help but think this country is run by corrupt police.
>>80085983Surely they should be arrested? I mean they are just an annoyance to people who are simply trying to get on with their lives.
>>80085969He definitely doesn't share much in common with her other than being a human.
>>80086000There's no law against filming in public. The police are wrong every time. Don't care if they're annoying. You can't just arrest someone to deter them from doing something legal just because some people find it annoying. That's tyranny.
>>80086044Filming in public isn't illegal. Causing a breach of the peace is illegal. And filming someone purely with the intent of annoying them is a breach of the peace.
>>80086044>There's no law against filming in public.Plenty of situations where most people think there are laws against certain things but in actuality turns out its perfectly legal. Filming in public is one, yes even if people don't like you doing it. Another is mailing vacuum-sealed bags of poo to Mark Edwards in Wareham.
>>80086044going to follow you around 24/7 recording you, you wont mind or find it harassing in anyway at all
>>80086047>And filming someone purely with the intent of annoying them is a breach of the peace.And if I'm not filming them purely with the intent of annoying them?...
Can we please stop talking about mailing people bags of shit? It's not often the thread degenerates into actually unreadable drivel, but it's heading there now.
>>80086047Unless you are constantly following them, I highly doubt it. Also a breach of a peace is only arrest and not go to custody. Many times they are arrested for bollocks like assault or racist public order (lies made up by brown people).
>>80086060>t's not often the thread degenerates into actually unreadable drivel, but it's heading there now.Apu postingSSM postingAudit postingAll unreadable drivel every thread yet a little bit of poo is what gets to you?
>>80086060Why? Not like it's illegal. If you don't like it you know where the door is.
You know what? I'm gonna make myself a nice slice of toast with a nice little bit of butter on it. Delish.
>>80086051I'm on about stuff like filming car showrooms at 2 am and then the police show up telling you to move on thinking you're going to steal one or be arrested. That's fucking wrong. Often there aren't any people being filmed and the police get called.
>>80078912BRITFAGS, QUIT BEING QUARENTINED INTO YOUR WEIRD CONCENTRATION CAMP
GET THESE FUCKING CHEEKS IN YOUR FACE!
gosh women are ugly gremlins without their cheating makeup.
Might freeze my hair on a cold day.
>>80086060It's not against the law mate. And if anything, it could actually help someone develop themselves as a person and learn to embrace the unexpected.
>>80086130HAHAHAHAHAH, yeah i agree anon, there are plenty of people who need a solid bag of shit in their mailbox, itd give them a wakeup call
One thing I've learned about wops is she is quick to have a go at her audience. I can only imagine she must get annoyed very easily by her bro. Imagine dating a 23yo youtube autist woman.
Back hurts but no gf to give me a massage
Having reached the apex of the interactions I think I can farm with it, I will now be retiring the 'mailing shit to Mark' gimimck I have been running these past few months.
One thing I've learned about wops is she looks like a bloke with long hair
>>80086154You'll likely struggle to imagine what it would actually be like due to your lack of relationship experience.
>>80086160No girl would want to touch your skin. Know your place in society.
i like the mail poo gimmick
>>80086164oh, anon, i was serious.. i maybe still willing to do it
>>80086173I'd be happy to wear a t-shirt during the massage
>>80086173yeah my place in society is a monster hunter, keksas on home turf baby
>>80086080Might try turning this into a longer AI video with Kling.
>>80086168She doesn't follow feminine traits like paying hundreds of quid for makeup and nice clothes every month. She'd much rather spend it on her video games collecting hobby than to please men. She's one of a kind.>>80086169I can still tell she'd be a handful.
>>80086207I'm sure, but you have no frame of reference for how she'd "be a handful." And respectfully, it's quite creepy for you to imagine yourself in that situation with a stranger. You should do many years of hard work on yourself and try to become someone capable of forming a relationship with a woman you actually know in real life.
>>80086154Her brother looked annoyed when she filmed him. Very rude of her imo
>>80086203Cooorrr yes lad, post the results here! Can you give it prompts to work with or does it just randomly choose what to do? If it takes prompts tell it to make them twerk.
>>80086219I wouldn't want to be with a 35yo menopausal woman who will probably already have baggage (sprogs). They're not attractive to me emotionally and physically.
>>80086229I wrote a 'text to video' prompt 'Dark haired Russian woman with tiny tits hopping up and down nude' and that's been going for about 45 minutes now and has 42 minutes left until it's done.So the big booty 'image to video' will be next. Not sure if you can add a further description to that, I don't want to click anything now for fear or stopping the first one!
>>80086226He keeps mouldy plates and drinks cups in his bigger boxroom. I think she has reason to be concerned. He also doesn't clean up stuff like cat sick and expects her to do it when mumberg is out. He also gets very angry at vidya and dropped out of college.
>>80086229Give it a go yourself as well lad. It's a free service for about 10 prompts. Slow as fuck but a bit of fun, is it not.
concentration camp gaming night? what yall playing?
>>80086250Might do so later on, still working right now.
>>80086246He should take care of the cat so he can inherit the house and kick her out
>>8008623535 year old women are not menopausal. That misunderstanding aside, you could definitely still go out with younger women.
bro, am i britfeel shadow banned?IS THIS REAL???
Why does Ruthmong always try to bring other lads down?
Goon and goon and goon some more
>>80086286Why are these random empty posts showing up now and then?
>>80086284Nah that's "creepy" if you're not Chad tier. Fuck bothering with anything at this point in life.
>>80086293:O how dare you, you motha fricka
>>80086293thought my browser or extension had messed up, never seen that before. must be the hacker known as 4chan
>>80086289I swear to god mate gooning is about to enter dimensions never previously thought possible
>>80086323I know. I'm very excited for it desu. AI will birth the gooniverse anew.
The fact that there is a genuinely MASSIVE subculture online of people who form their shared identity around furiously and chronically masturbating to huge amounts of porn for hours on end, and are also some of the most genuinely creative and productive people (when it comes to making goon content) around will never not be one of the most fucking hilarious things to me. It's absurdist humour taken to its logical conclusion. Sometimes I will just keel over thinking about how gooning is even a thing and how gooners exist.
can AI generate new episodes of The Simpsons seasons 2-7 yet?
>>80086378In 10 second clips, sure.
>>80086378I reckon we'll have content comparable to this in about five years.
concentration camp brits, hows it feel to know that i, a amerifag, am free, and cool and own guns, and knives, N SHIT, even my 4chan isnt a concentration camp.big sad boys, ill free you nerds one day
>>80086376it's just the more unfiltered version of the lads going "cor, tits" combined with the male drive to collect/engineer/categorise things.so many dweeby, autistic, or obsessive things are basically just unhampered maleness. what the fuck else are we going to do? sports is the only other outlet.
Is AI Seinfeld still going? That shit was hilarious to me.
>>80086396Oh for sure I completely agree, it's an extremely male-autist-coded subculture, but the best ones often are.
>>80086388could you get enough of those to make a 22-minute episode?remember all those weird 'documentaries' on Sky One about how it takes 3 months to make an episode. if that is true, how come you can make 20+ of them a year, even concurrently?(what the really mean is they have to wait for the Korean animators to return stuff they're satisfied with. writing and voice acting takes next to no time at all.)
Going to Preston then York in one day sometime this year.
>>800864073 months on a single workflow to produce an episode, but if you have several workflow pipelines going at once then you can stagger them to end up with an episode every week/two weeks or whatever the production schedule wasjust a lot of work in parallel
>>80086406i wish it applied to more things tbqh. look at AniDB or the *boorus. how obsessive they are with tagging, and how it's actually accurate and useful. you can find an anime with incest and aliens but WITHOUT medium-sized boobs if that's your cup of tea.why the hell don't, say, imdb and Spotify have that? some mental open-source projects for music but those are based around getting accurate metadata tags. and none of the "open" food databases work, they're all shite compared to MyFitnessPal.
>>80086295Nah it's fine mate, a lot of socially stunted men go out with weird younger girls who can't get a decent lad.
>>80086287lads are always trying to bring him down
>>80086419yeah i definitely misunderstood it as a kid, but in terms of actual labour i still think it's disingenuous to say "takes three months to make".does a can of Coke take years to make? maybe decades or the better part of a century: consider the SKILLED 'workers' who have to come up with the recipes.
>>80086418Wow living the dream lad
>>80086439Be a nice little day out. Check the CeX stores out and get a McDonald's.
Gotten back me have i notPhwaoooor get in
white delivery driver more likely to have "a bit crack on" with menon-white delivery driver is a 50/50, will i just get my junk food, or will there be some kind of communication barrier?me being a miserable shut-in git shouldn't have to bring others down, and i'm not even a racist it's just two separate, practical issues
>>80086407Writing 20+ episodes of TV takes a big team of writers a whole year.
>>80086435I don't think it's that egregious of a claim desu. It really does (did) take 3 months to make an episode. Just like how it really does take 3-5 years from planting an olive tree seed to being able to make olive oil. It's just that we as the consumers only see the staggered tail end of very long term production pathways.
Fucking shit doctors havent done my repeat prescription because I didnt list the reason as to why I need to take the tablets. Fucking cunts. Asked for an urgent request and they still havent done it.
This is all a lad needs. Some independence and an affordable box room. Even that isn't possible anymore in this shit country. Why work?
>>80086472You have to give up your independence and affordability for the good of imported BAMEs, lad.
>>80086472Looks proper grim desu i wouldn't want to live like this
>>80086472You could very easily go to a Brazilian favela and live in a place like this.
>>80086472I enjoy having a nice big comfy house for me and my gf to live in together lad, but if you'd prefer that lifestyle then fair enough.
>>80086523You've just triggered the countersignature drivel.
>>80086524and the larps begin right on cue
wetherspoon hotel reviewnight viewing sortedfucking lush xhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBB5K2S3wXQ
>>80086536Sorry that not everyone in the thread is in the same position as you
>>80086542I will delete my post if you post proof, lad
Ruthmong if you don't like living in the UK, why not leave?Is there some material thing stopping you? Are you lacking some kind of document, perhaps? If you are, what is stopping you from obtaining this document? What kind of barriers are you facing? Is there any kind of frustrating bureaucracy involved? Are you struggling to find someone to vouch for you in some kind of official process, something like that?
>>80086550What would you accept as proof, lad?
>>80086550Posted timestamped photos of my home in the thread before lad, it's tedious to have to do it over and over again. Feel free to keep the post up and keep thinking it's a larp. It's fine.
>>80086463funny how British series manage to write them with one guy, not a "writers room".in fact people write whole novels, entirely by themselves. like it's their job.
>>80086539This is the kind of woman that SIC ends up shagging.
>>80086575British sitcoms are six episodes a year and there's almost always two or three writers involved. Different matter there. And novelists can take two years or more to write a 60,000 word novel.
>>80086563Timestamped photos of his 'big comfy house' and his 'gf' would be a start. Don't mind if details are blurred out ofc, but SOMETHING at least to substantiate such a nonsense claim.>>80086565Please link them from the archive.
>>80086472bedsit like this was fine with it, they accepted DSS. but was told i couldn't use the kitchen after midnight so fuck it.this was back in the 2000s before every single young male thought they needed their own television and computer/games system btw.
>>80086585imagine suggesting there was a way to automate this process, and that somehow being a bad thing.i am certain every written manuscript gets edited so frankly i don't believe anything authors say about it being 'their' work.
Just took a womfy shidd Phwaor
>>80086586Here you go ladhttps://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/79426616/
>>80086627You could just be linking back to any old photo, unless you post one to confirm its you then it's not proving shit.
>>80086640Well I can't be arsed lad, your opinion isn't important enough to me. Feel free to post "larp confirmed" or something like that.
>>80086539she likes hanging around wetherspoons alot
>>80086645larp confirmedthanks ladmong
Why did he lie about his house?
>>80086688You're so predictable lad.
Just had a sandwich with that water thin ham shite it was fucking grim. Hated it. Hated the texture in my mouth. Awful. Not fit for consumption not even for a dog.
>>80086708You'll be asked for a timestamped photo of that ham
On the upside mums taking me to McDonalds. Its gunna be lush. Going to order a quarter pounder burger with large fries a banana milkshake and 2 extra double cheeseburgers. Oh did I forget to mention its going to lush.
>>80086708Any proof of the texture of the ham?
>>80086721Be sure to post a photo of the receipt lad.
>>80086717>>80086726Here you go lads. Grim as fuck. I bet it came out of a tube then they were cutting it in the factory.
>>80086721Larping dickhead. Post of timestamped a photo of:- your mum's car's mileage before leaving- an accurate googlemaps route distance estimate- the car mileage when returning- receipt of the food taken somewhere on the route
Theres a reason why eating pork is sin in Christianity, Islam and Judaism.
>>80086744She isnt taking me now we are going at 6:30. You will have to wait then. Sorry lad.
>>80086742My dad actually died in an accident when he was working at a rectified ham processing centre. I think they sometimes made stuff like this, but they mostly made the "Billy Bear" ham with the bear face on it.
>>80086750Conveniently enough time to clock the mileage is it?
I don't mind if the exact location of the McDonalds is blurred out, but we need SOMETHING at least to substantiate such a nonsense claim.
Having a major relapse of autism when it comes to paper Mario 64. Im up to chapter 6 and I have been tattling all the enemies in the game up until this point. Ive gotten bored of doing it and I dont want to do it anymore. But my brain is saying I cannot continue with the game because Im not tattling enemies now. So I must restart. Autism is a major curse. I fucking hate it. If there is a cure for it in the future I will be the first one in line to get it.
Occasionally I get the idea to make a twitter account to post like chill cool stuff about old games, cool pictures, things like that, but then I think wait a minute literally nobody would be following me or anything and I'd just be posting into the void. How do you even start to get into a circle of people online who share your interests and stuff?
>>80086764Christ alive he touched your nerve a bit didn't he?
>>80086755Thats what happened to les battersby in corrie. Sorry to hear about your dad.
top kek at that larper not posting proofhe's been absolutely done in
>>80086781Very pethetic, especially when you see him spazzing out after trying to force hurr durr style posts.
Lads for Christs sake Im not going to McDonalds yet. Im setting off at 6:30. So it will probably be around 7 when I have proof. Why do I need to validate going to McDonalds of all places? New gimmick?
>>80086777I'm forcing a gimmick lad. It's what we do in this thread. First day here?
>>80086778Thanks lad, he didn't die in vain. They actually introduced new safety mechanisms in the ham rectification contraptions as a result of the accident, so I like to think he actually saved a lot of lives.
>>80086242>>80086229Fuck SAKE just got back from a walk. Video finished and it produced the attached shite. Looks like someone spaffed all over the screen.
when you get those Smartprice/Value/whatever 'ham trimmings', are they just the bits of ham that fell off while processing other cooked ham?If all that's available is 'wafer thin' ham you're going to tear it anyway, which makes it shit in sandwiches. double it up? then it may as well be thicker sliced ham. daft that you'd even call it 'wafer thin' like that's a selling point. reminds me of that Donald Duck rationing cartoon, or old stories of Victorian cafes.
>>80086607PhwoarPropa good diss postMay hafta re-schedule the dinberg after diss piece of information
>>80086835not really though because if someone else had died they would have also introduced the same safety mechanisms afterwards
>>80086842I knew a lad once who used to sleep on a wafer thin mattress.
>>80086837The fuck happened there? Damn, was hoping for some twerking action.
>>80086229Right lad I've now started the prompt for the fat arsed ladies to 'twerk and jump in pool' in the 'image to video' mode. Let's see what that produces. Current waiting time? 'Longer than 3 hours'.
some posh down-south village is getting a McDonald's. normally a cause for celebration, but they're worried it will bring drugs and criminals to the area.i just want them to TRY crack cocaine or pure heroin, just give it a go. prove they're so much better than the rest of homo sapiens on this island.
Might do a little detour to nappington-on-the-naze semi-soonish, me
>>80086863That video was still for the woman with tiny tits hopping up and down. I bet it's extremely sexy behind that wall of spunk.
Cracking open a bottle of spirits cuz I'm in good spirits. It's Friday wahey
Dodged leg 1 of 3 on my train. Was going to cost 88 bong. Reckon I'll get back for free
Relapsed watching twink gay porn again. Feel disgusted in myself but I just cant help it.
>>80086874COOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!! I'll have to sit on my hands to contain the excitement. Can't wait!
>>80086874Horrible gimmick this. Hate it.
mental being in a mixed-class area, you pop into a big Boots or something, some old biddy speaking an RP accent even though she's not on the telly:>"I should like to purchase more of these, please.">"sorry, we can't give you any more. these painkillers are for short-term use only.">"It's for my joints! Mind your tone, young lady."i could make a fortune selling these pensioners codeine and tramadol. but i won't because, unlike them, i have a sense of personal morals that extends to the wellbeing of others.
>>80086907Aren't you worried it will affect your relationship with your boyfriend?
>>80086837Imagine how many tons of coal had to be burned to produce that shit. Meanwhile you can't even buy decent lightbulbs any more because it's bad for the heckin environment
>>80086907honestly curious lad, what's the disgust? you probably judge coomers here far less.if it's all in the privacy of your own home and homosexuality is "mostly fine" now, where's that internal shame coming from?
>>80086907There's this one shemale called Jessyca Ketlen who's got like a full MOMMY bod with a big cock and she has made a bunch of scenes with this really petite twink called Diego. That's my go-to porn these days. Can't get enough of it.
wonder if HHL is still alive
>>80086923Forever single . Dont think I have the confidence to have sex with anyone. >>80086937Not sure. I dont care that we live in the modern age and its ok to be gay. I just feel like its wrong. Sorry its the way that I feel.
>>80086944Would you like to be Jessyca or would you want to be Diego?
>>80086957Oh Diego for sure. I'm a twinky bottom as it is.
>>80086952It's just having a preference where you stick yer willy laddie. Not a big deal.
Classic SSMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b15VqHXmEto
>>80086934Mad innit. Hundreds of server parks running all this AI slop yet we have to drink a McDonalds coke through a paper straw. Boggles the mind.
god i miss being a twink. well, not even a twink, just underweight and under 30.>enter gay pub>"alright, can i get you a drink?">"sure thing mate, pint of real ale, bitter or IPA preferred. and just so you know, i'll be watching you bring it over.">five minutes later>"cheers mate.">"so, what are you looking for tonight?">"nothing really. thanks for the drink. have a good night."more about the ego boost than the free booze. but also, it was an easy way to get free booze.
>>80086972Stop posting your shit clips here. We all know its you.
>get email from linkedin about potential new job>go to the advert page>posted today>195 people have already appliedWhat's even the fucking point? Hate this fucking world jesus christ.
>>80086952internalised homophobia, as they say.>>80086969this. sticking your penis inside anywhere is grim. having a penis inside you is grim. if you just feel attracted to porn on the internet but will never actually have sex, you're in good company.
>>80086983I wish I was the successful YouTuber RiffRatz lad
>>80087000Ssm is a fat idiot but rr fans are even worse than him tbqh.
>Sex? With a woman? Using your... penis? That's just gay bro.
>>80086992i don't get LinkedIn and if i ever transition from NEET to 'professional' i hope it's fucked off by then. a centralised, public CV is such a terrible idea.mad it shows the number. reminds me of council housing portals. "You are eligible for this property! Your position in the queue: #235."guess it's useful information in a way, but the gambler in me would prefer the mystery lottery of you (were/were not) successful. and that's it.
>>80086974>we have to drink a McDonalds coke through a paper straw.i ask for a wrap or something and they give it to me in a paper bag. which then immediately goes into a bin. and the bin is overflowing, so there's rubbish everywhere.good job cutting down on waste there. glad none of it is plastic, just soggy old cartons littering our streets.also drinking pop through a paper straw tastes awful. charge 5p for paper straws like carrier bags did for a while. are thin single-use plastics really an issue?
a lot of disabilities are hidden
Got empty house now till nxt week.U know what that means Life turning a corner.I can feel it. Its all thanx to God or fluoxetine
Stopped ordering McDonald's meals a while back. The fries are fucking shite even when they're hot they're shit.
>>80087050So a week long goon sesh with takeaways every night?
2nd conductor just walked past. Think we can consider leg 2 of 3 dodged
>>80087050get a couple of bags in HHL style
>>80087047There are literally ZERO hidden disabilities. If nobody can tell that anything is wrong with you just by looking at you then you are capable of doing literally any job within reason that the average person is.
>>80087042That's one of several reasons why I usually get my McSlop delivered (plus I'm a lazy fuck) and I've got metal straws at home.
>>80087051Only decent thing at Maccy's is the breakfasts, everything else is dry slop
>>80087059Fare dodging is very BAME coded lad.
>>80087050Hire a hooker lid
I've been counting as I make them. This is my 236th post on 4chna today.
>>80087022>a centralised, public CV is such a terrible idea.why?
>>80087050>U know what that meansgooning in mammy's bedroom?
>>80087071I'm white lad
>>80087014various cultures throughout history got it spot-on. monogamous lifelong partner for love + raising kids or a household. allow mistresses, concubines, whatever for mixing up the sex side of things, you're not treating them like scum. and if you fancy it, some young twink lad to do in the arse every now and then.in the modern world, this would prevent a lot of the turmoil that comes with affairs. the 'polyamory' crowd are so weird and no way in hell won't there be jealousy and drama. but imagine if a standard heterosexual relationship had the best of all worlds. nobody is snatching away their wives' sex toys or saying they can't fantasise, read erotica, etc?
>>80087097>I'm white ladProof?
Lily Phillips actually has a very aesthetically pleasing tuppence.
>>80087097Why aren't you acting white then?
>>80087111Looked her up after her big event, she's now just doing a bunch of interracial scenes. Oh well, easy come easy go.
>>80087097Stop being a wigger then matey
>>80087065yeah metal straws are fine. when i used to pop into Greggs for a coffee or something, i'd ask for it in an insulated travel mug instead of a paper cup. went under the machine nozzle and meant my coffee stayed hot.no way to go into McDonald's saying, "hold the straw, i have my own" as you whip out a metal one from a carrying pouch. just not possible.
>>80087123She's getting bummed by 100 guys next week.https://metro.co.uk/2025/01/17/dangers-extreme-anal-sex-lily-phillips-announces-backdoor-challenge-22376336/
>>80087111Her anal scenes are also great
Good news bad news lads. Good news, I finally did it, the experiment we all wanted doing.Bad news, sausage dogs do not taste of sausages.Next experiment, do poodles taste of poo noodles?
>>80087144so same with the "1,000 guys next" thing, is she just fine with it? in the documentary she seemed cool with it all at first. fair enough. but was the breakdown at the end just after an exhausting night? is there something else going on?also the fact she wasn't savvy when it came to STDs was a bit worrying. not just for her, but for the guys who sign up for this kind of thing.
New bread my liddingtons>>80087171>>80087171>>80087171
>>80087144imagine what this must feel like
>dog breed called Chow Chow>non-edible
>>80087167Not him but, some slag already did that. She can't do something in the thousands now. If she wants to stay in the public eye now, it needs 10,000 cocks inna day.
>>80087167She clearly just isn't very bright
>>80087070Dunno about that. Id say the breakfasts are slop too. There's a time and place for slop tho.
>>80087091Dressing up as mammy and gooning
