Because you have no goals and nothing you're working towards.

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>>80084215
I have been wanting to die ever since i realize i was too ugly, too stupid for the world, and especially to be friend with him but i never found the courage

I just don't find much joy in whatever i do, i just try to klll the time rather than killing myself

I have no one to hug or laugh with, i wish i could have friends, i hate this stupid life, i hate humans

I'm ugly too. I'm just happy I'm schizoid so the lack of relationships is a bonus

You did right by "not making with my 4chan friend", because this is an anonymous website. You're not supposed to normalfag it up by exchanging contact info and creating little dicksucking groups.
As for the rest, a monk once said the only thing we control is our attention. I'm skeptical to even that but, if he is right, try focusing in mental states that might lead to a more constructive life, slowly drifting yourself towards useful things instead of doomscrolling. Life is like a casino and we bet by using our attention.

I'm so lonely and its so cold

>>80084205
Why dont you met up your 4chan friend then?

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>>80086572
Because

>he isn't actually my friend
>i'm ugly
>i'm dumb
>he wants to meet up with a girl or a femboy (which i could never achieve)
>i don't have any degree or a job

He doesn't live that far away from me, but he already moved on. It play a big role on my depression i think

>>80084205
I can relate but I think you can still get some happiness and a partner.

>he wants to meet up with a girl or a femboy (which i could never achieve)
I would advise you to drop ppl like that, I don't think it's healthy for either of you to have this impossible prison gay vibe.

>>80087267
ill be your friend, not gonna do gay shit with you but we can play video games or something