>>80087385
How did you meet her and how did the breakup even trigger?

>>80087394
>How did you meet her
discord
>how did the breakup even trigger?
abuse of dxm

>>80087411
Discord like on soc or in some random server? If its on soc then you go back there to try again. If it's a random server then you try in the same places because now you know what to look for. If she said she might reach out again why dont you beat her to it and do it yourself. Why do you think shes obsessing over someone else already. Why forget that obsession if you were equal you would keep going again

File: download (1).jpg (9 KB, 225x225)

9 KB JPG

>>80087385
Congratulations! You've been broken in and have gotten a taste of that sweet sweet BPD nectar. Now stop dating BPDemons now or you're going to ruin your own mental health more than you could possibly imagine.

cry and dissociate

>>80087385
you wont, you are now traumatized for life lol. if you arent a psychopath, you are scarred for life, rip brother

File: 473222996_193819957337437(...).jpg (55 KB, 735x728)

55 KB JPG

>>80087431
>Discord like on soc or in some random server?
in some random private server (less than 100 ppl). she joined randomly and we hit it off
>If she said she might reach out again why dont you beat her to it and do it yourself.
i did! i already did this, but eventually she asked me to not contact her again because she couldnt trust me (literally the day before she said she would keep me updated). i do have some integrity anon, if im destined to be with her she is the one that needs to come crawling back (wont happen)
>Why do you think shes obsessing over someone else already.
she might have not said it explicitly, but im pretty sure she is unable to remain single for long. she needs someone to obsess over. i doubt i really was the best guy she ever met, im not that special
>Why forget that obsession if you were equal you would keep going again
I'm guessing you mean i was obsessed as well? so why forget it? yeah true, i was pretty obsessed with her, still am, but i think my obsession comes from a lack of understanding or love, while hers was just her illness speaking
i dont think i could meet someone that ticks as many boxes as she did... another bpdemon might but why would i want to go through this again

File: 472381544_114745119674867(...).jpg (233 KB, 1440x1440)

233 KB JPG

>>80087434
>Now stop dating BPDemons now or you're going to ruin your own mental health more than you could possibly imagine.
do you really think that doomguy? like, im pretty depressed, but this isnt all her doing, its just that she left on one of my most vulnerable moments to date. i dont recall even living in a situation in which so many things went so badly in such a short amount of time. i always contemplated suicide but at the same time i always saw it really far away. now... not anymore, and i even have the drugs i need to make it happen (but i wont just yet, i have a lot of shit to take care of first)

>>80087439
based, need to do some shit tho but thats something i could definitely do

>>80087460
ok this sounds like an exaggeration... i hope this feeling and my constant necessity to check her socials are just temporary. it hasnt been that long either... maybe like 1 month

>>80087385
Shiori~n.

>>80087648
she is like the vtuber bpdemon (i dont watch vtubers)

>>80087601
intense crying is the best. when you almost can't breathe.

>>80087660
>(i dont watch vtubers)
shiori's model may resemble a BPD, but her actual personality is being a harmless autist

File: and i'm tired of pretendi(...).png (386 KB, 1123x601)

386 KB PNG

>>80087601
>do you really think that doomguy?
Yes.
If anything, just keep bpd girls at arms length. The affection can be nice if you can keep the boundaries up. They make better besties than gfs 1000%.
Yeah, I was in a similar situation where I was feeling vulnerable except I'm the bpdemon(male, sorry) I just did what we do in those situations and shut down. and disappeared.

>>80087601
>sounds like an exaggeration...
ok, they arent called demons for nothing
theres a difference between normal bpd and bpdemons...

>>80087687
>when you almost can't breathe.
fuck, yes. also that feeling in which you want to cry but tears wont come out, so your throat starts hurting like crazy (knot in your throat) and its just awful in general
i always cried but usually not full out crying like that, but recently its just been that type. at least the sore throat disappears after a few minutes

>>80087696
based. i watch some vtuber clips but i have never watched anything from her, i just really like her model lmao its so fucking cuteeeeeeeee

>>80087709
>The affection can be nice if you can keep the boundaries up
why would i want boundaries tho? i wouldnt get the full on experience
>I just did what we do in those situations and shut down. and disappeared.
did you promise them you would come back? or did you tell them that you wish you were able to love them like you were supposed to? what about telling them they were the person they obsessed the most and they want to change so you two can be together like you should be?
i could go on and on. she did actually put on the work btw... until she stopped and went back to doing drugs and skipping meds

>>80087719
>theres a difference between normal bpd and bpdemons...
i see, what are the differences tho? i thought bpdemon was just another way of saying beautiful princess disorder

File: 438937963_903236468479835(...).jpg (325 KB, 1627x2048)

325 KB JPG

>>80087767
ah i forgot to upload some pic... here, this one will do

>>80087767
>beautiful princess disorder
bpd is angy mad frick you, i hate you, i love you anon, lets make love, i wanna family with you (good day, bad day maybe, maybe week good, day bad)

bpdemon tries to kill you in your sleep, sucks you ballsack completely empty and makes a shit ton of amazing food and smothers you with love, puts arsenic in your lunch before work
(all this happens in the morning)

File: 457284216_106676198481380(...).jpg (187 KB, 1079x942)

187 KB JPG

>>80087808
i see, so the intensity is what changes
man i do miss her

>>80087808
I need this in my life so desperately

File: 70594645179.jpg (32 KB, 564x564)

32 KB JPG

>>80087385
You really need to realize it was all an act. She was doing what she thought you wanted to get what she wanted out of you, validation and attention. She "seemed like your perfect waifu" because she was trying to be to manipulate you..It was all fake. The more you get that through your head you'll feel like an idiot for going along with it and be disgusted by people like that.

>>80087767
going manic is the best too

>>80087816
wizard posting from the
>808
gang gang killer

>>80087767
>why would i want boundaries tho? i wouldnt get the full on experience
If you'd like I could beat the living shit out you, kick you in the ribs a few times, spit on you steal your wallet and call the police and have you arrested because of some shit I made up or genuinely believe cause I'm insane. :3

That pretty much is the physical equivalent of falling in love with a bpdemon who isn't able to manage their shit like somewhat of a normie.
>did you promise them you would come back?
desu, over the years, I've always been a very flighty person. Probably more trauma based than anything. It really depends on the situation and the person. Sometimes I'll explain myself, sometimes I'll over emote and make things awkward to push the other person away because I feel unsafe, sometimes I'll say something along the lines of that one Bojack Horseman quote "I love you as much as I can love another person, and it's never enough. I'm sorry." (desu me telling someone I love them is pretty much me saying it's over.)But more often than not I just ghost people. Sometimes I come back, sometimes I don't, I never make that promise because I don't know if I intend to keep it.

I'm not the perfect example of a functional bpdemon, but if you want actual advice or understanding into the mind of a bpdemon you can ask what you want to know and I'm happy to educate you to the best of my ability.

>>80087841
>It was all fake.
i get it, but still, she only got validation and attention from me, nothing else. heck, she even gave me money and gifts, i never paid for shit because she wouldnt let me.
i dont know when did the act start and where did it end, i just know that she lied a bunch and confessed to it (apparently never cheated but at this point i dont trust that)

>>80087848
sry i dont have a mental illness im just a weirdo

File: 459129396_184444155275017(...).jpg (202 KB, 1265x1784)

202 KB JPG

>>80087909
>I'll over emote and make things awkward to push the other person away
she said that she was prone to do this, but she didnt do it with me... or if she tried to she failed miserably
>me telling someone I love them is pretty much me saying it's over.
ugh... that seems harsh
>I never make that promise because I don't know if I intend to keep it.
she made it, a lot of the time. like if i start thinking hard enough i can remember the start of our relationship and she saying she would want to grow with me, and even if we dont talk that much anymore that she would still want to keep in contact
sounds like a lie tho, and it also sounds like she knew exactly what would transpire in the next couple of months. that also explains why she was so self conscious about me calling her the best girl i ever met
>but if you want actual advice or understanding into the mind of a bpdemon you can ask what you want to know and I'm happy to educate you to the best of my ability.
have you ever loved somebody? and why do you feel the need to leave?

>>80087914
me too yeah i'm normal why would anyone want to be different that's lame yikes

File: 441638524_122098324694310(...).jpg (179 KB, 1536x2048)

179 KB JPG

>>80087968
like if you actually are going manic anon you arent normal, im sorry, you have some type of mental illness that could destroy your life or the life of people around you
but its ok if you are female

i dated a bpd girl and then married another before realizing what was happening and got out.

it's all an act. ALL OF IT. it was ALL AN ACT.

They are all the same. every bpd girl acts the exact same to you when they're interested. Their words, their actions, their intensity, their willingness to shower you with everything and be everything you wanted.

none of it was real. and she's doing the exact same thing to a new guy this year, and another new girl within 2 years. you'll find another new girl who will do it to you, too.

it was all an illusion. you didn't love the girl, you loved her actions and how she made you feel. You literally love the mental illness that consumes the person and leaves nothing behind, not the girl. you can find another one, they're ~2% of the population. Go to any bar and there's statistically a strong chance one is there. Higher if you're in LA/SF/NYC.

File: 661095543958.jpg (49 KB, 1080x971)

49 KB JPG

>>80087914
You really don't get it. It was an act start to finish. If you could see her doing a different act with the next guy maybe it would click. You're normal enough that you find it hard to believe there is really people like that out there. That are empty husks that don't really have a personality or identity of their own and they just go through life wearing masks of phony behavior to try to get for themselves from other people. Until you really see it for what it is you'll keep ruminating over it as if she was a sincere real person.

>>80087988
shut up retard i'll ask for advice if i need it

File: 450179498_101676271315833(...).jpg (129 KB, 1080x966)

129 KB JPG

>>80088036
who said that was advice
>>80087989
>every bpd girl acts the exact same to you when they're interested
i still dont know if this is true man, how am i supposed to know? this is new for me
cant they really not love?
>you didn't love the girl, you loved her actions and how she made you feel.
and what else i am supposed to love? her soul? like i am my physical body and my actions and beliefs. ofc i loved her actions and how she made me feel, it was awesome. i felt like everything could crumble around me and i would still be happy because i wasnt alone.
>you can find another one
do you really think it would be the same? like if i show her little by little the things i like and dislike, would she act practically the same as my ex?
>>80087992
>You're normal enough that you find it hard to believe there is really people like that out there
it's not that i cant believe it, but i dont get what would she get out of it? yes she had my attention, but my attention was costly as fuck. so why me and not literally anyone else?
>If you could see her doing a different act with the next guy maybe it would click
if she adjusted herself to another dude? yeah i guess so... i know she did "adjust" herself to me, but in her words she was always into people like me, she just didnt know she liked certain aspects as much as she did. also she reminded me over and over again how caring, supporting and accommodating i was compared to her previous relationships, but im pretty sure she didnt lie because she pointed out WHO was a pos and she pointed out the only other good relationship she had. they werent all demons to her, and she was a piece of shit to some of them
>Until you really see it for what it is you'll keep ruminating over it as if she was a sincere real person.
so basically i should stalk her until i see her new mask, got it

>>80088132
i'm not about to believe i'm handicapped and waste my life eating pills for sheep

>>80087940
Idk what she said, idk if she did or not. You may have a higher tolerance for trauma dumping than most.
>ugh... that seems harsh
Yeah. I don't do it to hurt people though. It's more like "Hey, I've had a wonderful time exploring each other and I really feel a strong bond with you, I'm never going to forget you and I want you to understand that before I go."

I think she knew things were going to south with you two one way or another. I don't know this girl, I don't know how you two talked in private, or in public, or any of the specifics but from the sounds of it, she cared, and didn't want to hurt you, perhaps her mental health was failing and she knew that if she stayed she was going to harm you, and she was torn between that fear of abonnement and that fear of hurting someone she cared deeply about. Maybe you were more toxic or harmful than you realize, maybe not. But there was a reason that she left and I'm sure you were a part of it, but most of why she left was likely her own reasons.

Look at this way, you have the luxury of missing her. The grief is from her lack of a presence in your life, not the hell she put you through.
Sometimes it's better to ha loved and lost. I wouldn't chase her if I was you, that's the worst thing you can do for yourself and her.
>have you ever loved somebody? and why do you feel the need to leave?
We love, it's not like regular love. I made a shitpost the other day where I said that we don't care about you and you're more just a vessel for our tulpa and well that's obviously over the top, it's based in truth. I don't think I've ever really loved anyone as an adult. I've always loved the idea of them. Sometimes that's enough to make things work if you're mature and careful.
>why?
It's nice to feel like you matter to someone else sometimes.

>>80088132
>and what else i am supposed to love?

Generally the person, who she is. BPD consumes a person, the original person she was is gone.

>do you really think it would be the same?

Yes. They are all exactly the same. almost word for word phrases between them, just depends on how much english they know/learned/studied.

They are all the same. They will always show themselves too by oversharing. A girl who desperately shares that they are a victim (but one THEY could absolutely stop/control, giving you hope), such as having an eating disorder, or they were/are in abusive relationship/parents, they are addicted to drugs, etc. They will always share this way too early to get shock value and see who will throw themselves and invest. If they catch you investing, it validates them, and they reward you with intense emotion. Until they see you ARE now invested, and then they turn on you...until you're about to leave, and then their abandonment issues crop up and they go back over the top to reel you back in. Repeat until they find a new favorite person, and then youre discarded and retroactively deemed abusive.

They are all the same.

>>80088162
>>80087940

OP hey don't take advice from this fucking guy, he literally eats his own shit and spends most of his day chatting underaged girls online.

>>80087914
>i dont know when did the act start
From moment one.

>where did it end
It never ends.

Please listen to this >>80087841 anon. He knows.
You have an idealized version of this woman running through your head that is very far from the truth. You will never understand BDP motivation. Hell, she might be buttering you up just to dump you suddenly and try to drive you to suicide because your death gets her off. BDP is never worth it. Ever. Understand that none of it was real and you were playing a role an evil person intended for you to play long before she met you.

>>80087385
my gf shiori novella is so hot

File: GclXDPabYAAzjXj.jpg (454 KB, 1200x1200)

454 KB JPG

>>80088162
>I think she knew things were going to south with you two one way or another.
yeah, but she did talk a lot about the future and we doing our best to be able to live together. like she was disappointed about herself, and she genuinely tried or appeared to try getting her shit together
>Maybe you were more toxic or harmful than you realize, maybe not
ofc im the only part of the story you are hearing but, i was never toxic nor harmful. i actually dont like fights nor feeling jealous. the most toxic thing i did was telling her to stop telling me stories about her past relationships, even if they were fun. then again she didnt care if i talked about my one and only ex, actually she wanted to know more. she never acted like her tho. im having a hard find trying to find a situation in which she didnt accommodate for me
>The grief is from her lack of a presence in your life, not the hell she put you through.
this is true, i have heard much worse. but i got no closure, i dont understand the why. like she NEVER faulted me, ever, she always carried the blame. doesnt sound like bpdemon shit.
>I've always loved the idea of them.
thats infatuation anon, not love. so you have never loved it, got it
was she infatuated? most likely honestly. was I? i really doubt it, i can differentiate the two

File: 428700341_122142208694041(...).jpg (70 KB, 736x820)

70 KB JPG

>>80088168
>the original person she was is gone.
i never met the original her, so i dont get this statement. for me she was who she was, she wasnt lying and she didnt want to harm me. even if she did, she said she regretted it, and she regretted meeting me at the wrong time. she also gave me hope, she wants to better herself and maybe then she will reach out. she didnt leave because of me, but because she thinks im going to hurt her and her family
>almost word for word phrases between them
can you give me an example anon?
>A girl who desperately shares that they are a victim, such as having an eating disorder, or they were/are in abusive relationship/parents, they are addicted to drugs, etc. They will always share this way too early to get shock value and see who will throw themselves and invest.
she didnt share this early, i found about it through a third party and never told her. later down the line she did tell me those things and more. although she did overshare on our first chats, but only for 5 to 10 mins, after that we would be talking about mundane stuff. i got the feeling she was ashamed of what transpired, of her addictions and of her abuse. she also seemed to carry some of the blame, but with me in the picture she told me things like
>i didnt know i could be treated so well
>i forgot i shouldnt be in a constant fight
>its nice remembering that i can just talk about random shit and thats ok

File: 467397191_109211960958596(...).jpg (60 KB, 824x730)

60 KB JPG

>>80088168
>Until they see you ARE now invested, and then they turn on you...until you're about to leave
the reason she turned on me was related to an episode. she didnt just turn on me randomly, it was a 48 hour experience. i think she had a delusional episode related to the abuse of dxm and ofc her illness which i didnt know she had until later. through that whole experience, she flip flopped between loving me and not caring if i kill myself. after going to the psych ward and getting some antipsych meds, her not caring for me dissipated, in fact she told me that was never the case, she was just afraid of me. she is still afraid of me. i dont think this is fake, i think this is completely true. through all of this she told me how much she liked me and how sorry she is about the damage she has done
then again, she confessed about lying again, lying about things that dont make sense, and she also slipped and told me about people in her life i didnt even know existed and, not surprise here, i got jealous of one individual (although i never told this to her).
what im trying to say is, she didnt turn on me like that... it was more like she was lost in her paranoia and i was a potential abuser, even if she didnt truly believe that

File: GDjRFRUWYAAwe6-.jpg (22 KB, 400x400)

22 KB JPG

>>80088338
>she might be buttering you up just to dump you suddenly and try to drive you to suicide because your death gets her off
i just cant see it. if she really wanted me to die she could have done way worse things, like going to fuck her ex, record that shit and show me that
maybe even just bait me to find her fucking him
i dont want to admit it but that was one of my worst fears, she low key was obsessed with her ex, but not in a loving way. she wanted to take revenge on him for all the damage he did to her
i might have been part of the plot... but then again she never boasted about me on social media. i wasnt hidden per se but i definitely wasnt used for some revenge plot. i think she did actually enjoy me, otherwise why would she spend literal days just hanging out with me? why would she try so hard to soothe me and reassure me? why would she go the extra mile to make me happy? and why would she apologize so deeply when she felt like she wasnt able to love me properly?
i just dont get it

>>80088636
Why would you be jealous of any individuals when she's showing you this much love and devotion

File: 473660180_122215656620213(...).jpg (73 KB, 850x816)

73 KB JPG

>>80088669
good question, i think i just have a jealous personality
that being said, i almost never express my jealously. if she is going to cheat, she is going to cheat. in this case the conversation just made me disgusted, so thats why i asked her to stop. she reassured me making me know how many new experiences she was experiencing with me, basically making me her first in all of those.
just a tip for other anons, if you dont show your jealously she will not cover her tracks, making it way easier to spot a cheater so you dont have to live years of your life being cucked.

File: 456234078_159663723452712(...).jpg (71 KB, 517x640)

71 KB JPG

>>80088759
>in this case the conversation just made me disgusted, so thats why i asked her to stop
sry this is not true for
>she also slipped and told me about people in her life i didnt even know existed and, not surprise here, i got jealous of one individual
but for
>the most toxic thing i did was telling her to stop telling me stories about her past relationships
cuz i was jealous ofc, and kinda disgusted

>>80088657
>obsessed with her ex... she wanted to take revenge on him
And one day you'll be her ex. How can you not logically see where this will lead?

>why would she go the extra mile to make me happy?
To keep you where she wants you. Women don't normally do that. Repeat after me: Women do not "go the extra mile" to make men happy. Under normal (sane) circumstances they expect you to do that for them, not vice versa. That alone should send off sirens and waving red flags but for some reason you pretend not to see and hear them.

genuine inquiry: have you considered killing yourself to ascend and meet her in the afterlife? cosmic love is still love and you can only fuck a ghost for so long ;3c

>>80088636
well did you abuse the shit out of her or not faggot

>>80088759
So she was talking about an ex who she what, made out with? And you flipped out on her over it?

>>80088622
>the most toxic thing i did was telling her to stop telling me stories about her past relationships
That sounds like a lack of self awareness on her end. Could've been intentional, I don't know.

With bpd you kind of just take a gamble. Everyone will say they're manipulative and evil and blah blah but truth is that a lot of them are but a good % are just really fucked up inside and trying their best.
It sounds like she wasn't evil, but I can't say for sure. A lot of us are good at what we do and it's pretty indistinguishable when I am genuinely bonding with someone or just trying to fuck with the because they aggravate me with their existence until after it's over. The fact that she just ghosted you is a good sign she really loved you as much as she could, which is fucked up, I know.

I didn't mean that you're a bad guy. I meant you might have been doing things that upset her and fucked with her mental health. Toxic is probably the wrong word. I'd tell you about the last person I bonded with and how they probably really meant well but did a lot of shit that set me off in ways that they realistically didn't mean to do.
>but i got no closure
I know... Sometimes it's better that way. If she told you the shit going through her head, like honestly, you'd probably be terrified of her and she's probably less emotionally mature than me and not as good at articulating what she feels. Sorry if that comes off as conceited, it's just that I'm older and have been dealing with this shit my entire life, on both sides really.

(cont. Sorry, this was kind of a longer one)

>>80088805
what makes love cosmic. fuck a ghost? what? she is still alive from what he says

>>80088850
(Cont)
If you really love her, let her go man. Move on with your life. She doesn't want you to hyper fixate on her. I'm sure she is very conflicted about you, and she wants you back on some level, but knows how terrible that would be for both of you.
It's over, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Take this experience, learn from it and grow.
>thats infatuation anon
It's not. It's really hard to put into words. It's somewhat narcissistic, perhaps even sociopathic, but it's way easier to love someone based off of what they are to us than who they are as a person.
I can sit here and say I loved my ex-wife, but at the end of the day, I don't know if I did. But there was a time I would have died for her and I would have killed for her, and I don't know if that was because of her or me. Like i said, I think that was maybe more because of what she was to me than the fact she was her....
But that's some real philisophical shit and I don't care to examine that publicly or anymore desu.
>was she infatuated?
>was I?
I don't think you want me to answer that one truthfully and I don't think you'd accept my answer.

You seem fairly young and naive. So is she. I think what you had with her was puppy love, nothing more. I think you both adored each other, but neither of you are mature enough to really make that go anywhere. I think things were doomed from the start and you both knew that on some level. She may have just been playing with you, but I think just like you, she's some lost kid just looking for a person to call home. I think you were both a means to an end, and when you remove the emotions from it what you had was unhealthy and dangerous. I told you to stop well you're ahead because that shit is like a drug and you will be VERY tempted to replicate it in the future, possibly to a far more destructive extent or with a far more unstable person.

File: GIKPmIwa8AAL6jr.jpg (286 KB, 1770x2048)

286 KB JPG

>>80088796
>How can you not logically see where this will lead?
i know what happened and i was there, and i know i wouldnt ever act like that. it was an actual toxic relationship, everyone knew. thats the reason, sorry i lacked context
but yeah, it could also just be the natural end of every of her realtionships, but i gotta say, the issue was with THAT ex, and only that ex. with everyone else, she was the issue. she always told me that.
>Women do not "go the extra mile" to make men happy
im sorry for being such a normalfag but i also had a normal relationship before this. she did go the extra mile, i just think its rare to find those type of women. usually they say they would, but they never do. these two did...
>To keep you where she wants you
still this might be absolutely true

>>80088805
>have you considered killing yourself to ascend and meet her in the afterlife?
im atheus, i dont believe in the afterlife nor reincarnation, neither in ghosts, souls nor gods
i like to larp about believing in the Abrahamic god, but im a pagan because i think she is a girl. but desu its just my culture, i was raised catholic and i have done all the steps to become one, but later in life (as a teen really) i became atheus because i just couldnt see the proof and i had no faith. the likely scientific explanation for gods its just human nature, we end up creating them, like we end up gambling or we end up having so many fallacies, gods and paranormal things are just another one of those.

>>80088812
>well did you abuse the shit out of her or not faggot
no retard, i never abused her. i want them to stay with me out of loyalty not fear.
>>80088843
you are exaggerating. i didnt flip out on her, i just told her that the conversation made me uncomfortable as a normal person u.u

File: 1731069685445621.jpg (40 KB, 573x738)

40 KB JPG

>>80087385
dunno, still figuring that out. can't forget the bpd girl that was hyperactive during sex and gave me such a blowjob I'll never forget it, enthusiastically humped my leg until she came 3 times, smothered me in licks and then let me take her virginity even after she forced herself into thinking it was okay

>>80087385
Hell if I know. I think some people are genetically inclined to hold onto old relationships, maybe its trauma. I still have days where I feel super upset about my hs gf a decade later even though she treated me horribly. My second gf was pretty bad too. Maybe im just a masochist. The imprinting was strong.

File: 453727616_872589011429416(...).jpg (78 KB, 720x1079)

78 KB JPG

>>80088870
>as a normal person
as any normal person would do*

>>80088850
>That sounds like a lack of self awareness on her end.
this has happened to me in the past, so i think its just lack of self awareness. she had way more relationships than i have (only her an another girl) but she might have expected me to have more experience? who the fuck knows we met on discord ffs
>The fact that she just ghosted you is a good sign she really loved you as much as she could, which is fucked up, I know.
lets say she comes back, what would you think about that?
>I meant you might have been doing things that upset her and fucked with her mental health
this could be true. i tried to not impose myself on her but later on in the relationship i did start to put some ground rules, like sobering and taking her meds. she eventually lied about those, but then again who would want to date someone thats unmedicated and has severe mental issues? its just a time bomb. and no i didnt know she had bpd, i thought she was just depressed and that the drug abuse was related to that. i know because im similar.
>If she told you the shit going through her head, you'd probably be terrified of her
that would have been better imo, but thats just me. she did write poems that were really.. creepy. and her art was creepy too. so i might have an inclination on what you mean
>>80088858
>But there was a time I would have died for her and I would have killed for her, and I don't know if that was because of her or me
this for me is just proof of love, just your style of love. i think everyone has one. ofc this being unrelated to your disorder
>I think what you had with her was puppy love, nothing more
I hope so. considering the ideas we had, we needed to put a lot of work to get there. im not in a position of doing that rn, and neither is she.
I wont chase her... but i doubt i would be strong enough if she chases me
then again she might just become a better person and we could try again, that sounds dumb tho

File: GXFCuxEbgAA0ATk.jpg (462 KB, 1280x1856)

462 KB JPG

i need to go but i will be here soon. althought with my phone this time so my answers might have even more spelling mistakes
thanks for discussing this tho, i feel better

File: coffee.jpg (33 KB, 537x571)

33 KB JPG

>>80088961
>only her an another girl
Yeah.... I'll let you figure that one out on your own.
Women Hah! *sip*
>who the fuck knows we met on discord ffs
Now you're gettin it.
>lets say she comes back, what would you think about that?
Fucking run my guy. That or lay down some serious boundaries with her and don't be afraid to ditch her if she crosses them.(If you're sure you're up that)
>sobering
Oh geeze. Anon....
Cluster B women by themselves aren't the worst thing and it can be fun if you handle one right but when you start mixing substance abuse in the picture is when you get the really psychotic shit everyone will warn you about.
Yeah, just run if she comes back.
>that would have been better imo
Perhaps for you, not for her.
Yeah, ppl with bpd tend to have very fucked up minds and we often see the world in ways that are incomprehensible to someone who isn't like us. Every case is unique but it's generally pretty dark and weird.
It's the one part of myself that I really suck at articulating and often times just refuse to try.
>just your style of love
Fair enough. Proably a better way to put it than "I don't think I can love" lol
>but i doubt i would be strong enough if she chases me
Hey man. It's your life, obviously you do you. But just be careful and if shit feels off, follow your gut.

It's been cool having this discussion, hopefully you took something out of it, but I have to be somewhere in 15 minutes.
Good luck with whatever the next chapter of your life holds.

>>80089090
>hopefully you took something out of it
yeah i did anon, i just hope i forget about this soon
considering what other things are happening rn in my life, i 200% will

>>80087385
You like vtubers?

>>80090351
i like vtubers but i dont watch them live, at most i watch their clips
i like the asmr ones, like shondo

>>80090493
Bri revealing new outfit

This entire thread has been really eye opening.

>>80091555
why do you think thats the case anon?
but original

>>80091671
I learned a lot about people with bpd.

>>80091682
Im glad you learned a lot from my thread robot.

>>80087594
>she might have not said it explicitly, but im pretty sure she is unable to remain single for long
This is the secret. BDP people can't regulated their emotions without an external source. In terms of developmental stunting bdp is the second worse after schizoid but before narcissistic pd which is third.

A schizoid is basically the living dead. Someone who never got their needs met and became a learned helplessness hermit to compensate. Bdp people got inconsistent emotional support resulting in them never fully separating from their parent. So no longer a child they still need a parent like figure to regulate how they feel. Like a baby that needs mommy to kiss their boo boo and calm them down. A narcissist got their emotional needs met but only ever conditionally, not unconditionally like a good parent should do. So while a narcissist can self regulated their emotions they do so in a grandiose self aggrandizing way that doesn't always match their actual achievements. So secretly they crave attention and validation because they can only generate a sort of fake self validation since the only love they every experienced was always conditional and they never learned they were worthy of unconditional love.

Continued in next post...

>>80091778
So back to bpd people the reason they cycle through a series of phases where they first idealized a new partner then slowly start to hate and abuse them. Is because like a child growing up they are trying to recreate the separation that should have happened with their parent.

You know as a little kid you think your dad is great and he's the best dad and he knows everything and maybe you even got in arguments with other kids about whose dad could beat who in a fight and so forth. Then you get a bit older and you realize that your dad is just a person and he has flaws and he doesn't know everything and then you hit your teenage years and you start to assert yourself and 'rebel' to prove to yourself your own agency and individuality. People with bdp are basically stuck in a loop repeating that childhood phase of development with their romantic partner.

It's actually quite sad because they are basically children who were abused and never able to 'grow up'.

>>80091778
>So while a narcissist can self regulated their emotions they do so in a grandiose self aggrandizing way that doesn't always match their actual achievements.
You're getting narcissism exactly wrong. You are a narcissist IF you base your sense of self-worth on contingent things like "achievements". A much healthier and more robust source of self-worth is for it to be provided unconditionally by oneself, which is what is supposed to happen if your parents do that for you as you develop. If your parents only give you emotional support or positive attention if you achieve something, then you're more likely to derive your own sense of worth from superficial markers like trophies, praise, good GPA, beauty, etc. However, not all narcissists can achieve as much as they need to to get this validation, so they imagine themselves as having skills, achievements, or opportunities they don't really have, which is what you're actually describing.

A healthy mind can preserve a strong sense of self-worth despite living in poverty and underachieving because something deep within just says "I love you".

>>80087385
I don't have a lot of input because it just happened to me but I want to let you know you're not alone and I want to drill her out of my skull

I've sought professional help but again not a whole lot to share yet but they were really understanding and stuff like that takes the edge off for a while. I've just been talking to people as much as possible and it keeps the bad thoughts from winning

I just wish I had known the warning signs because it was the most obvious thing in the world but she was really insistent about not being mentally ill when we met so I let my guard down

>>80092076
>she was really insistent about not being mentally ill when we met so I let my guard down
Lol buddy, people who are not mentally ill do not need to be "insistent" that they're not mentally ill.

>I'm not crazy...
>I'M NOT CRAZY WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME???!!!

>>80092103
You're 100% right but it would make more sense in context why it came up as a joke a lot

>>80092019
>>80092019
I fully agree with what you are saying and I'm not sure where exactly you got the notion that I thought otherwise from what you are describing. Perhaps if I had worded it to say they base their self worth on the attention they can get from others via either actual achievements or failing that an illusory false self. But yes the point is that they can't just view themselves as worthy humans simply for existing unconditionally. They never learned to simply "love" who they are intrinsically. So instead they have this warped need for others to validate them.

Like a normal person will say build a bird house and feel good about doing it without needing to tell anyone. But a narcissist has to show others the bird house, and they have to tell the narcissist that it's a good birdhouse and they did a good job on it before they can actually feel that sense of accomplishment that normal people can just give themselves.

I'm 30 still living with mom and I have BPD. I also never had a father

File: Camouflage-Predators-Prey.jpg (255 KB, 1280x720)

255 KB JPG

>>80092103
All predators who want to be successful learn to mask themselves from their prey.

Also I just learned that tigers don't stand out to their prey because they are red-green colorblind. Was searching for a pic on predatory camouflage and came across this.

Kind of a good analogy in a way once you become aware of their tricks, once you lose your color blindness so to speak. They are a lot easier to spot.

>>80092151
You honestly might just want to get comfortable at that point. 30 is kind of the point of no return. And that's not me trying to be mean, that's just kind of how it is. But on the bright side BDP has one of the highest rates of spontaneous remission as you age out of it. So... IDK just bear it a bit longer and get more life experience under your belt and wait until you become so jaded that you age out of it naturally.

have you all considered that bpd and narcissism aren't real and you're making excuses for traumatized and damaged people traumatizing and damaging you because that's all they've ever known? it's like a sickness that gets passed on from person to person until someone refuses to continue it. unfortunately, they usually continue despite their best efforts and need outside support to break the cycle.

>>80087385
Forgetting doesn't really happen, they'll always be a part of you. Acceptance is what you want. The more you try to run or get it out of your head, the more it sticks around. Like a song stuck in your head, the best thing to do is go through the whole song.
Do some introspection and come to terms with why you're feeling this way. Reason out what you can and cut yourself some slack. Don't get caught in the what ifs, stick to reality. goodluck anon

>>80092209
Yeah because honestly, all a IRL relationship will probably end up with me emotionally harming someone. It hurts knowing I missed out on so much and my relationships if any will only be online.

>>80092228
>have you all considered that these names for patterns of behavior aren't real and that there really are just, like, patterns of behavior

File: 1732175543688895.jpg (117 KB, 1024x943)

117 KB JPG

>>80091778
>>80091814
You're like so half right on everything you're saying about bpd it's infuriating.
It's like saying that the Rookie was the coolest Spartan in Halo 3 and the arbiter should have also been a protagonist in Halo CE. The pieces are there but they're all wrong.

it's not the the love we got was inconsistent growing up, more often than not BPD can be traced back to constantly being invalidated and/or abused/neglected as a kid. If anything it's more about getting abusive love from your role models than inconsistent love.

We are not emotionally exothermic, or as you say we regulate our emotions solely from an external source. it just really helps us to have someone to help us stay grounded.... granted it's hard to find a stable person who can and will embrace us that isn't an emotional trainwreck themselves so we tend to jump from person to person or just do what I do and float in the void so to speak.

It's not that we slowly grow to hate the people we love, it's that we're so piss scared of them abandoning us that we end up pushing them away because the anxiety of alienating yourself accidentally is about just as anxiety inducing as being a fairly bad car accident and waiting for the police to come knowing you're at fault.

You have no idea how hard it is to have BPD and know that you are vulnerable with someone and to do something, or have something happen that makes you realize "Oh fuck, I might have just ruined what I have with this person." Especially if it's your FP. Like this person has so much power over you, and you know it, and they know it, and you're so used to being abused and abandoned and you just did something, no matter how small, that in your experience has gotten you abused and abandoned and it just causes you to freak out.

>>80092228
It's not real in the sense that it's not a literal biological illness.

But even from a behaviorist perspective it's 'real' in the sense that we have applied a label to a general set of characteristics and behavioral patterns that arise from certain traumatic life experiences.

Its a bit like saying phobias aren't real. If you had a traumatic experience with say spiders for example and then displayed a disproportionate fear response that didn't match the actual threat level, whenever you saw a spider. Would that make phobias any more or less 'real'? Or does the word phobia simply encapsulate an observed behavior in relation to a stimulus?

The various personality disorders are in essence just labels for tendencies to behave a certain way in certain circumstances.

>>80087385
I gave myself to a young woman like this for 3.5 years. I just couldnt keep doing it to myself and cut her out of my life without mercy. I still havent forgiven myself because I know she was a cutter and tried killing herself multiple times in front of me (I intervened). I really pray to god that she is happy now but who knows since theres no way for me to get a hold of her. She still has my heart and always will. There is zero way to recover from this. Just cope the best you can until you meet again. Odds are you wont, but its better to focus on your own wellbeing than trying to rebound with some other chick (this wont work).

>>80092269
Mental illness labels are not JUST patterns of behavior - they are highly emotionally and morally-loaded terms. A clinician *may* be able to use them without drawing a host of popular cultural associations, but the average layman won't. The problem with terms like "narcissist" and "BPD" is that they get weighed down and stigmatized by association with extreme cases or misrepresentations, and so when you say those terms people will not just think of a clinically tested pattern of behavior, they'll think "Bundy", "Dahmer", "BPDemon", Homelander, etc.

>>80092280
My BPD gf from /soc/ did this. A few awkward moments that would have blown over in a normal relationship became objects of fixation for her that clearly affected her behavior, but she would try to act like it was fine. It's not that she meant to alienate me, it's that she simply could not move past anything that went wrong. Probably because she expected those things to ruin us, which became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This is why I don't take people talking about "BPDemons" too seriously: they act as though these people are completely insane and lack agency, but the girl I knew was well aware of her condition and was transparent while also trying to incorporate steps to mitigate it in her life - but in the case of her and I it was just too much for her to handle. We really loved each other, and I did leave and I don't regret it but I do miss her. I don't regret it because I am NOT good a withholding my true thoughts and feelings to spare another's, and she needed me to be.

what if a woman with bpd and a man with bpd get into a relationship?

>>80092411
>what happens when two black holes collide?

>>80092280
Yes sorry for any gaps in knowledge. But you do raise very good points and illustrate some things I didn't know. It's ironic and tragic that because people with BPD fear abandonment they invariable end up acting in ways that cause the very abandonment they fear. It sort of reminds me of people who peel a band-aid off quickly to get it over with except in the case of BPD its like they are constantly pulling the band-aid off the wound before it has healed and then applying another band-aid on top of that still festering wound.

It's like they don't realize that if they just chilled the wound would heal itself and the band-aid may or may not fall off on it's own painlessly.

File: 1736622598056958.png (869 KB, 1575x886)

869 KB PNG

>>80092437
>BPD fear abandonment they invariable end up acting in ways that cause the very abandonment they fear
Pic rel

Yeah... There's a reason i don't date and I rarely get genuinely close to anyone anymore. It's all bullshit and it's like every time I let my guard down I'm either sucker punched or my PTSD kicks in and I do the sucker punching.

The bandaid metaphor only goes so far. BPD is the kind of broken that you can manage, but it's always going to be there. It will fester no matter what you do, but it does get easier to deal with in time and with experience... More or less anyway.

>>80087385
I had/have a BPD stalker girl. Every few years she starts stalking me again. It happens like clockwork. Just give it time.

>>80092332
Yeah but laypeople are going to use and abuse language no matter what. Elon musk who has fathered more children than most people got called a creepy incel by his own kid so you know figure that one out.

Language in general has it's own host of problems for that reason and unlike technical terminology in other disciplines laypeople just can't help themselves with picking up on psych jargon that they aren't qualified to use. It's a problem with no easy solution. Correct people when you can in a non-condescending way. But more than that there's not much that can be done.

File: pepe wojak and dead meme (...).jpg (36 KB, 735x335)

36 KB JPG

>>80092471
Hey buck up anon. At least you are in good company here on 4chan posting with the rest of your fellow cellmates in hell.

Can I ask something retarded

>>80092532
What's stopping you, just ask

>>80092179
>Kind of a good analogy in a way once you become aware of their tricks, once you lose your color blindness so to speak. They are a lot easier to spot.
actually pretty clever, i like this analogy a lot

>>80092522
I've said it before. I love you faggots. You're the only friends I deserve. <3