Today I played a game that I never finished, I bought and played, I took the week off, I drive uber full time, ad now I'm depressed, because I played this game 16 years ago, and I haven't done anything with my life, nor do I know why I would, are friends even real? I watch my brother from a distance, without trying to invade his privacy, he has loads of friends, but I think Harry Potter like friends are rare, and everybody is mostly alone, just better at masking, I honestly don't know what to do as usual. I don't want to let the next 16 years pass by.
>>80090268Back pack your country, do odd jobs to eat, sleep in a tent, this society is beyond cooked..
>>80090268Figure out things you want to do. Then make plans to do them and join groups that are trying to do similar things. >t. Just got out discussions with others trying to do what I'm doing.
>>80090311I think the contrary would be nice for me, I'm kind of autist, seriously, not the smart tv guy, but the insufferable that almost has ocd type, I think traveling without money would be a pain, in my case, I think studying a field that I could grow on, would be something, it would give me something to do, to dedicate on, but every time I start studying again, I dread the years lost, and my lack of consistency is insane, I think that if I don't figure this out in the next 2 to 3 years I'll kms, I can't work a regular job anymore, just don't have the energy, patience, I'd rather kms.Finishing that game was nice, while I played, and finding the game to buy and set it up, was exhilarating, but after it was said and done, I felt hollow. Maybe that's why I stopped playing vdgs
>>80090268don't worry anon just wait it outthat's how you get out of the cycles of rumination and sadness for the most part.most of us live sad lifes and there isn't real meaning to it so the best thing you can do is chill with it and enjoy some things, real connection is really really rarewhat game did you play btw?
>>80090904Black 2006I always thought that I wouldn't end up like my father, that I was better then this, that I would "make something out of myself", I really believed that, and some part of me still do, still thinks it's possible, even thought in reality it would be a miracle to reach for the stars as I once dreamt.I hadn't drink in 2 months, and I was 2 weeks without using any meds or drugs, not after today, not after finishing the game, I guess I was better off without it.
Jesus fucking Christ OP, your thread hits me right in the feels because I am in a rather similar situation. Just change 16 years for uh when did Halo Reach and Gears of War 3 come out? Well shit I think it is indeed around 15-16 years too!!! Fuck my life, I'm not quite sure what went wrong around 2010-2014 for me, but that was when a part of be started to die. I haven't quite played new games or brought myself to watch long series since then. It's like my brain is still *stuck* where I was in my early 20s, it refuses to move on.There's another game I used to play a lot as a kid, Worms Armageddon, that I tried to play again recently but I just couldn't before having a mini mental breakdown, the game itself is amazing and unique but the community has kind of been dying down it seems, given it was a game released in the 90s. That's what caused my breakdown, I thought to myself "so this is it huh, this is my life, replaying/rewatching stuff my childhood that feels like yesterday but was 30 years ago". 30 years of stagnation, 30 years down the drain, 30 years of suffering in vain. Funny because like you it's one of the things I most strongly criticized my old folks for, for being essentially the same exact fucking persons. And the worst thing is, we are currently living in the best time to be a high-value individual with SO much cool shit going on around, but instead I, like my parents, remain stuck in the past.Just want to say thank you so much for making this thread OP.>>80090368>lack of consistency>energySame. Its genetic hence why you're ending up like your father. I urge you to look up common single nucleotide polymorphisms and start experimenting on yourself. The other option is heroic shroom doses to either force your brain to rewire or fry it, but success rate longterm seems lowThe grim thing of all this is a lot is relatively fixable but even if we accept the past, we cant make new friends that are as impactful as just knowing someone from long ago
>>80091466I feel like I know who you are but I don't want to say in case I am correct.
>>80091466>And the worst thing is, we are currently living in the best time to be a high-value individual with SO much cool shit going on aroundThis is what pains me the most, I resonate with all you said, and yet, just like you described, when my dad was young, my country was being built, there was cool shit being created right before his eyes, things that were literally ground breaking new tech, in infrastructure and technology, history just keeps repeating itself, things never change, the names change, the format, but in essence... it's all the same, my mom used to say my dad was very polite and strict when he was younger, in his 30's... when she used to talk about this, which was rare, I only remember 2 occasions, he seemed like a different person, an entirely different person, just like when I dive in memory lane and realize that although younger, I used to be much smarter then now, I had more guts and a "go getter" attitude towards life, and no, this is not a case of remembering things rosier then they were, I have tangible memories to prove this.>>80091466>common single nucleotide polymorphismsThank you, I will, once I sober up, is this related to that genetic anomaly that your organism don't use b12 and some essential amino acids properly?
>>80091644>history just keeps repeating itself, things never change, the names change, the format, but in essence...This is true in the grand scheme of things but never before has the gap (not just economical but social and professional too) been wider than today I think, which is what makes it worthy (and probably immoral as well).>he seemed like a different person, an entirely different person>I used to be much smarter then now, I had more guts and a "go getter" attitude towards lifeYes, 30s is when physical decline starts for everybody. Some manage to almost stop the decline and remain lively, smart, engaged, joyful people for a lot longer than that. Others like our old folks hit a hard wall and stay there. Pretty sad to watch because it doesn't stop at that, they (again like myself) tend to become almost comically irritable and a nuisance for those unlucky enough to be around them, compounding the problem.>genetic anomaly that your organism don't use b12 and some essential amino acids properly?It's genetic anomalies but not necessarily b12 related nor can they be fixed by simply popping supplement pills but yes, something along those lines. Definitely worth looking into, most likely one of the few options lifelong fuckups marked by inaction like us have, that also runs through the family. Better than "therapy" or blindly following a psychatrist.
>>80090268i know what you mean, i have been playing gta san andreas on my phone, going to work and coming home to be on my computer just like did when i was in school, no friends since then either, not much has really changed in that time and we are talking 17 years nowi think of myself as being more comfortable with who i am, then i see people i have known: well paying careers, love lifes, marriage, kids, house, global holidays and thats when the insecurity pops up again cause i can't larp being young anymore, i'm not, it feels like they are at the next stage of life and i'm nowhere near it and honestly i don't want to be there yet but i feel like i have to be to fit in with the world, i'd rather not be in the same position 10 years from now and i know how easy it would be for that to happen
