Tomorrow night. Back to my terrible job, which originally I quit. I didn't show up last time, but then a few days later I took in a homeless guy to stay in my apartment so I guess I need to make money still. And realistically I still should be making money for some other thing I will be doing once winter is ended, not that I needed money, I hate the stuff and it's never helpful. But of the homeless man, to call him such is not a good description of him, he is one of the only people I spoke briefly with while I was homeless in this particular city. He's a bit of a talker and likes to be friendly I find, I don't think I do. when we're in the apartment together I don't really want to talk. I wonder always why I have no friends but clearly as I know already I don't want any friends. I'm very happy he is able to stay away from the cold at night in Edmonton of all places where the shelters here are so crowded even out of winter. But what is friendship anyways? I should wonder. How does human interaction go between two normal people. Maybe no different. Maybe it's all awkward with one just wanting to get back to looking at pictures of their waifu or whatever personal thing.I feel bad sometimes thinking about how rude I am even though I don't think it's rude. The first time I left my home and went out to begin travelling I didn't even tell my family, after 20+ years I was just gone and had no plans to ever contact them, and it's not one of these super terrible families or anything. And in general I just don't care to keep in contact with people I dispose of them very easily and just go off without a word and sometimes I have had people question and I think feel offended that I just didn't care to say goodbye or whatever. Well friends never say goodbye https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCbLAv1NMs0Partly I just can't imagine anyone cares where I am or what I'm doing.
But the question of whether you should quit a hated job increases more now. Am I relying on money, like Elon Musk I hate when people try to imply money influences me, because I don't care about it. I crossed Canada back and forth with no money and if after the manner of men I've fought wild beasts in Ephesus and then to rely on money!?But I think because I am getting excess money and have no interest in the objects of the world, I need to feel like my money is being put to some use, then should I just give it to the poor. What can anyone do with money, such a useless thing that I really don't like to begin with. "Then give me all your money!" I don't have very much to begin with.Should I still quit a hated job even given the dire circumstances of having a shelter now for someone else as well? Well isn't that selfish, exactly why people with wife and children are able to do so much for others. Whereas I have never cared to suffer because who cares for myself, I care very little how comfortable I am.
