when i lived in my university's dorm rooms, both my first semester and second semester roommates would spend literal hours in the bathroom and shower. so on multiple occasions i've had to piss into an empty gatorade bottle to avoid pissing my pants.the only problem is, i've got a cunt so it's super hard to aim. i taught myself to piss standing up as a little kid cause i saw my dad pissing standing up from behind and thought "i can do that" not knowing what dicks were, but aiming into a toilet is way easier than aiming into a bottle with an inch long diameter. the last time i did it, my piss stream split four ways and i ended up pissing all over the carpet because i couldn't stop the piss at that point. the carpet was already covered in mold and mystery bacteria from the last chick that lived in there and i don't think anyone noticed the piss stain so i didn't get a cleaning fee or anything at the end of the school year.i live in an actual apartment now and haven't had to piss in a bottle since then.i can still pee standing up, though.Your fortune: Very Bad Luck
i'm very glad i moved out of my dorm too
its alright our piss stream sometimes splits like that too
>>11614661my university is in a mormon hellhole and one of my first semester roommates was a turbo-mormon that liked to borderline torture me and make me miserable as soon as i got back to my room. she hated me from the first time she saw me before i even said anything and i still don't know why. i don't even dress weird or anything, i wear t-shirts and cargo shorts most of the time, there was no reason for her to immediately hate me based on appearance and her religion, but she definitely did. she shared her room with my other roommate and i was alone in my room and we all shared a bathroom. and she made sure to isolate and turn my other roommate against me who comically started being super nice and friendly to me as soon as my other roommate moved out. never again.
osaka is so hot sorry but I just can't hold it in anymore
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>>11614659>the carpet was already covered in mold and mystery bacteria from the last chick that lived in thereWhy keep that? Couldn't you throw away the carpet or was it like a moquette covering all the floor?
>>11614697no, it was the carpet attached to the floor.i requested for maintenance to do something, i honestly didn't really expect them to replace the whole carpet and just spray it with something, but they ignored me entirely. it was to the point where i never walked around the room without at least socks on. the chick that was in the room before me was full-on kicked out of the dorms because of how disgusting she was and then they moved me into her room (which i did as a favor to the housing department) without cleaning it at all. i had two days to move into the room and spent one of them just cleaning for like 8 hours straight. she apparently had a crate of fruit in her room that she let rot and had an army of fruit flies filling the entire room to the point where they swarmed out in a cloud when she opened the door so literally every surface was covered in goo or something from them. it was bad. and i only got compensated $100 bucks off a month of my dorm fee.
>>11614704wow people like that really exist even at young age? Shame you had to go through it. But you can piss in my mouth anytime. Even standing.
>>11614659hot lol. ilu
>>11614721ikr
>>11614659that's really interesting anonhey, have you ever heard of these things? I think they are called shepee or sheeweeyou can put them over your pussy and you can pee in a single stream like a guyby the way, even though I am a boy, I cannot pee standing up, my pee shoots out in unpredictable directions
>>11614709i considered pissing on people and being a dominatrix as a job in high school and then i remembered i have actual potential and worth as a person outside of being attractive enough to degrade people for money.>>11614733sorry you can't pee standing up man. if it makes you feel any better, it's really hard for me to do it. i have to hold in the piss for while to build up pressure and angle myself back super far to get the curve of the piss stream right. i've almost cracked my skull open doing it before.
>>11614745it's no problem, I don't mind sitting downalso be carefulI once almost broke my neck trying to suck my own pendisimagine if we died like this, and they found our bodies like that
>>11614745fair enough. Was just messing around anyway. Valuing yourself is a good thing to have nowadays. So keep up the good work.
>>11614745cutie ilu
>>11614704what the hell were the roommates like if they had been living with that before you?
>>11614750absolutely terrified by the idea of being found dead naked at all.the mental image of the police, EMTs, and CSI having to see me with my ass and/or tits out completely bled out over a toilet is horrific.
>>11614761they fucking hated that bitch. when i was signing the lease with them, they complained about her for twenty minutes straight and the floor RA was shitting on her, too. NO ONE LIKED HER. She was apparently also a massive cunt to everyone.
>>11614704>>11614769jesus, that is wild. I wonder what happened to her.
>>11614794i heard she lives in the trailer park in town with her grandma, but i don't know for sure.i do know she works at the chick-fil-a on campus, though. mormon jesus bless the manager involved in the inevitable lawsuit that ends in.
>>11614795loleyou couldn't pay me enough to eat there
if we are sharing funny university stories, I once had to carry a fat naked girl to the bathroomshe was brought back from a night out by a female housemate, completely intoxicated, and barely able to standit was suspected that her drink was spikedI was the only other person in the house at hand to help
>>11614659hey that's a good story shoot me an email nurssa@email.com
iguqev
>>11614769She sounds like a real Bella Jenke type.Neat piss story btw. I was mildly amused
>>11615138that implies she was actually competent enough to manipulate people and shit.she's just violently gross and bitchy.
>>11614889sounds like you lived with some wonderful, caring citizens.
