How many copies of bible do you own?I own 5
just a really old family bible. i kind of wish i could buy an nrsvue bible instead of looking up verses online whenever i want to quote the bible, but bibles are expensive and i don't have the money
onewhy do you need more?
no bible
idk how many bibles i own, got a big book shelf but i only read the dnd and fantasy books, when i visited family my based af uncle just said yeah go ahead take the bible no one reads it here, free fucking bible bro, i read like 10 pages of that shit and fell asleep, woke up with the power of GOD
for real though i just wanna say, the start of the bible might be the dryest in history, like fucking grandmas pussy would be moister. even my uncle said "yeah that part isnt good" holy crap, you got a devote acolyte criticizing the bible RIGHTFULLY but still, why havent we fixed this? if i have a hard time reading it then the next generations are FUCKED if they want to read it
At least 3 can’t rember
can i watch the bible in the format of a 5 minute tiktok? my brain isnt too good to read a whole thing
2 but i want another
>>12004361You can probably get a free one online somewhere if you looked.>>12004365Based
>>12004647i have a free pdf of the bible of course, those are everywhere, but physical books are nice too
I think I might make a "just the good parts" bible where I strip all the blood cult rituals, contradictions and fairytales, and keep the kind messaging and wisdom.Would be worth it, both for the quality increase and the loles at how mad it would make cultists.Your fortune: Better not tell you now
>>12004674that already exists, it's called the jefferson bible
I have the Torah, couldn't find the bible at any of my local stores yet. My grandmother has an old masonic bible she doesn't read but I didn't have the heart to ask for it
>>12004677>jefferson bibleIt still includes zombie jesus references so they did a bad job
>>12004707or it is lowercase and they're just being an incorrect contrarian as usual.
>>12004710how is it incorrect or contrarian to say that thomas jefferson edited the bible to take out most of the references to the supernatural because he was a deist. it's just a fact
>>12004674>where I strip all the blood cult rituals, contradictions and fairytales>most of the references to the supernaturalOne of these things is not like the other
>>12004725??? the jefferson bible is 90% of the way to what you described. you're just looking for things to get upset about
>>12004358this is nice boardYour fortune: Average Luck
>>12004734Jefferson included the account of Jesus cursing a fig tree for not bearing fruit out of season. he retained parables like the parable of the rich man and Lazarus which includes an afterlife setting with Abraham speaking to the rich man in torment in hellJefferson retained the passage where, during Jesus’ baptism, a voice from heaven declares, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."Jefferson included mentions of Jesus raising the son of the widow of Nain from the dead (Luke 7:11-17). etc, etc, etc.
>>12004753yeah, those are meant as fables to teach moral lessons like story books with talking animals. you can take out all of those things if you want, but the bible will only be like 20 pages
>>12004674Change all references to Jesus to "Pantera and Mary's son" lole
>>12004674This idea but "only the bullshit" edition. Where anything that makes sense and isn't contradictory supernatural or encouraging blood cult practice is removed. Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger
making an edit of scripture would be a death penalty case in the romish church.in the old country he'd be bbq.jefferson had it... eh how you say...teh BALLS.Your fortune: Better not tell you now
>>12004833I think this edition would piss them off even more, and would be more dangerous to publish.
>>12004358>Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)16:10:46nun i am a godless heathen who will die when my day cums idk hail satan
>>12004851>the god of fortuneYour fortune: Reply hazy, try again
you should only own one bibleit should be black with white or gold "Holy Bible" on the front and otherwise featurelessit should be placed in your nightstand when not in use
>>12005189but donkey kong in that image is reading quran
0! I did however used to own one satanic bible
>>12005207what do they say?Your fortune: Average Luck
>>12005189but what about the flag?
>>12004358one but I refer to all the ones on the internet much more often
None. I used them all to start fires. I need more. I need to keep warm. I'm really sensitive to cold on the scar where jesus stole my foreskin.
