You know, you asked me to spill the beans, I said I didn't want to spill the beans and it'd make things uncomfortable, you said it's totally safe, that it could make things interesting. I spill my heart in a time of weakness and I've never heard from you since. I guess it changed things after all, didn't it? I'm not mad at you, I'm just frustrated and sad and disappointed. I knew what the outcome would be but I chose to trust someone in spite of that, I might be the stupidest man on the fucking planet.

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grandpa you really need to shut the fuck up when im driving, and shut the fuck up in general
your brain works so well when you're alone but when you're with people you turn into such a little faggot that you stop thinking correctly, that's the real reason you bump into things it has nothing to do with your age it's because you're ditsy like a blonde because you haven't had deep human connection your entire life.

grandpa im glad you bump your head or drop shit on the ground when we are hanging out because you act like a god damn fool and deserve it, just keep your shit together and stop being so nice and maybe you'll think clearer. Also you drive like shit but i guess you park better than me.

Greg you're a massive dick, i'm scared of you. You're scary. All that time in prison and shit, you really need to stop doing drugs because as you say you're a 50 something year old man you need to just stop with the drugs and hanging out with druggies because you're mentally fucked up and then you act higher than everybody but you're not you're just as low as the low of em.

james, it really hurts that you can't realize I was right that you're feeling bitter and hurt by what I did to you, and so your behavior is irrational and unfair and cruel. I apologized and I intend to apologize more, but you don't deserve an apology if you think a man's job isn't to protect his woman, that is nature and you denying that will guarantee you being lonely and angry for a long time from now. What I did to you was wrong but you didn't give me a chance to prove myself to you, nor did you really care to investigate into my internal processes, you made no audit of me which would help bring you peace and a sense of control, but you weren't interested. I don't deserve to be treated the way you treated me when you responded to everything.

Dad, you deserved to be raped as a kid and I hope it happens again.

To my sister, I hope CPS does take your kids away because you're an insane fanatic like dad

>>33540772
You’re clearly the Dayton Hypernova of the family lol

>>33540382
I should have never contacted him from here. I regret dating him.

>>33540843
It's over and your free now so stop dwelling on the past and be happy

All I wanted, and still want, is a husband. I want to be someone's wife and I don't know if anyone here even exists. I haven't met anyone who's ever been as honest with me as I've been with them. The closest I've ever come to feeling safe with someone is the person I talked to who last said they were a male from Southeast Asia. I absolutely adore you. I want to thank you for taking me on that edate. I haven't had an online or real date like that. It was nice not to rely on self harm to find men. I just want you to know I loved you and I would marry you if you would just be honest with me about who you are. I don't want to be assigned to one of your personas and only be allowed to interact with you when you're them.. It's fucked up. It hurts to be compartmentalized like that.
I have PTSD and I don't go outside for anything but groceries. I'm disabled from it at the moment. I don't know where to go to find a man. The few people I've clicked with on here don't actually exist.
I wish I had a womb and I wish I could have children. I wish the men I've talked to actually cared when I sent them things I liked as I cared when they sent me things they listened to. I wish they cared when I talked about the physical pain the PTSD brings .
And the more dangerous of the people I've talked to (not you, person I had an edate on IMVU with - I like you) would just stop fucking finding me in every thread they can and messaging me when they're horny from different accounts. I know damn well it's you and I told you to stop fucking messaging me. Let me live my life without having to worry whether I'm opening up to a predator.

I wish I could hate you Jana, I really do. But I can't bring myself anywhere near that. I don't care about anything you did at all. I'm just clueless and want you again no matter what

>>33540956
omfg god babe ive been searching for u everywhere since yesterday im so worried and im so very real ill send u all the proof u want :(( i still have the imvu acc and weve only talked for about a week!!!
F8NGGCENH pls message me i dont wnt to message u first since u said not to

josue, i really miss u. i know it was the wrong time but you genuinely made me feel special in those 5 hours. i can’t even eat sushi anymore. fuck, i hope your okay. i ended stuff with him if u care, for good. i hope we can be something for real later

>>33540956
if u dnt want to continue edating its ok but i really do hope ur ok........and our last convo had me so sad and worried i think u had ptsd and u freaked out.....i really regret not being more available during those times and im so sorry people are being mean to u
<3 ily 4ever and keep on healing!!!

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>>33540382
It's honestly funny how things turned out, eh? I made actual friends and I'm having a blast, while you're still stuck in that small little group, probably forced into playing shit games with a bunch of stinkers..... I kinda feel bad for you, but at the same time I don't really care since you kinda did this to yourself. Get owned lol.

I woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on

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im tired of people who have dated or had sex telling me its not a big deal. fantasy is delusion and i cant help but trying to attain what i dont have because if i dont try then i will guarantee it never happening. i want to do sexual things with a WOMAN. not a GIRL. not a MAN WITH BODY DYSMORPHIA AND FEMININE QUALITIES. a WOMAN. a girl that chooses me over not manipulation or grooming or money or any superficial quality (besides maybe thinking im attractive or having an equal fantasy relating to me). im pushing 30 and have been trying (albeit not trying at all besides complaining and spamming my tag) to get with a woman, a weeb or mentally ill woman or an internet brained twitch anime/manga alt woman and it is not REAL. everytihng i do proves that it will not happen and it cannot happen but people in real life are so fucking not what im looking for. everything i do is contradictory and i can tell when i should stop or change my way of thinking but its like scratching poison ivy until its red and your body is signaling that you need to stop, the transmission is hitting the neurons in my brain but i dont stop. scratchhing so hard until the skin breaks. im bleeding. i want it to happen so bad. i love all types of women yet i dont even know if thats real because how do you know you liked something if youve never experienced it. i want to make out with a woman. have her tongue in my mouth AND vice versa. i would literally do anything to be with a woman, id pay. iv added woman (coincidentally local) and told them to meet with me and sometimes iv offered to pay. for many different reasons it has just never happened. even when they say yes there are circumstances where it doesnt end up happening. it never happens. i got so jealous watching xqc talk about how he has bitches in a bunch of different states. he said that to make his ex jealous, but it just ended up making me jealous. i dont know when ill get to be with a woman and maybe it will never happen.

>>33541108
she went onto chads dick. then another chad. then a few more chads also fucked her ass. now shes working at ihop. doesn't remember you at all. imagine if you messages her kek. thats like the most pathetic thing you could possibly do. shes sucked so many cocks since you broke up.

I miss you and I'm sorry.

>>33541181
just get a new one. theres so many desperate girls on /soc/ who are eager to please a nice man.

>>33541190
>girls on /soc/
w0t?

If you're going to dare to breach my solitude, offer an olive branch.
Not a fist, or claws.

I regret that I convinced myself things could change after the first year of our relationship. I wasted 4 years of my life hoping for things to get better.

By the end of it, I'm damaged, and I have a deeper distrust of women. I'm destined to die alone anyway, but making peace with that has made me very bitter because of how you, and other women, have treated me. Above all, I'm angry at myself for allowing you women to treat me the way you have out of fear of being ostracized and treated like scum of the earth, even if I wanted to defend myself and set my boundaries.

I was raised to treat people with kindness, especially women and even put them up on a pedestal as if they were perfect and needed to be protected and cherished. I have never felt more jaded and discriminated against. I have reached a point where I find women repulsive and I'd rather stay away from them.

There is no hope or optimism left in me, and I will be selfish even if it means at someone else's loss. I don't care anymore.

>>33541181
Say it to them directly

You know how everyone always says being depressed, sad and lonely won't be fixed by getting into a relationship.
Well in my case they were absolutely completely wrong.
It's been around 10 years now but I haven't had a genuine thought of suicide since the first day we started talking.
You're gone now and I’ve accepted that, after all I didn't chase after you because I didn't think I was worthy of you.
Finally being loved by someone healed me in my soul, or maybe it was just knowing that I'm capable of being loved.
I still get lonely, and every once in a while a little down, but I've never been depressed like I was, no longer have I ever put the barrel of the gun in my mouth.
I know it wasn't for very long and I sincerely hope you haven't been on here in years and that you have someone to love and cherish you very deeply.
But you were quite literally in every sense of the way life-changing for me.

I suppose one of the few negatives is knowing what being cherished and loved feels like and longing for that again.
Somehow though knowing that I probably will always be and die single your love and knowing that I can be loved makes it somehow so much more bearable.

I doubt she'll ever see this, but I'll only give the first letter of her name just so I don't throw it on a public forum. I do not feel romantic feelings for you C, at most it's just lust because of how much of a whore you were in the past when you cheated on 2 of my friends in middle school. There's probably some deeper issue there, but I don't ever care to know, especially after you asked me how it felt to have my 2nd half gone after he died. I do, however, wish the best for you. I do believe that some people change with age and you tried your damnedest in high school to be my friend, which if you're as evil as I still feel you are, it'd just be because I was the only guy in middle school whose pants you couldn't get into. Unless this was just coincidence, you even went as far as to become friends with my sister, which would've been a failed attempt at getting closer to me considering how self centered everyone in my family is. I don't know if there was any malice behind this attempt or that was some attempt at trying to correct your mistakes, but there are some bridges you can't unburn so I hope you learned that. I heard shortly after we graduated 3½ years ago that you got married despite being right out of high school, so hopefully that wasn't just another impulsive decision and everything's going well in that regard. I will never understand why my late friend still cared about you as a friend after you cheated on him, but he probably had his reasons so I'd at least like to keep his hope for betterment that comes with friendship alive. That being said, we both know I've thrown my fair share of shit at you (verbally, not literally 4chan) and I'll probably fail to prevent doing so if I'm forced to deal with you again, so I apologize beforehand. If you recognize me, I'll be going by another name, so you will know me when you hear a weird K name. May God bless you and your house and may he keep us seperate

- i feel like you’re the reason im so deranged and fucked up. you molded my being as if it were yours and i was only 14. i wonder what id be like if i never met you. would i even like the same music or games? would i have different taste in people? i wonder if you even go on this website. i feel like you put a curse on me and i haven’t been the same since. i know you think i wasn’t a victim but you genuinely need help but if you ever reached out, id talk to you again…maybe even more. i feel like even though its been years i just have this weird sense of tribute to you. it’s like you were my parent. idk the whole thing is fucked but i want the same psychological warfare again to feel something because anytime i want something normal i never get it. i wonder if lain is still doing good? its like im still in love with you but because i have become you and you have become so familiar. objectively you’re sick, but its all ive ever known. when i was 14, its all i ever wanted to appease.

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I want to have a cute, wholesome, lovely, fuzzy, wonderful relationship with an enormously fat woman, like 400-500+ pounds, but it seems utterly impossible. Just look in the BBW thread, it's miserable. I hate feederism, I hate the way people interact with each other in that space. I don't want to call somebody rude names or watch somebody eat food on camera or send them $50 or whatever the fucking fuck you're supposed to do, goddammit! But I also hate the non-feederism space, where if you tell a girl you actually like their belly they freak the hell out! Why does it all suck!? Why aren't people fucking normal about any of it? I'm so angry!

>>33540772
lol you cheated on james

i would sooner die than separate from u. ur what keeps me living. i wish life treated you better when you were younger. i wish the people around u werent shit. ill be the manic pixie dream girl youve wanted until we're married with children or youre sick of me. im utterly in love with you. the uncertainty in our future is just another challenge im raving to overcome

Mars "Dice", I miss you. I still think about you sometimes. If I pushed you too hard, please forgive me. It's okay. I got too invested too early.

I've written those long letters to you, and I still stand by them.

>>33540382
Things I love about her.

I love how she is very silly and has an almost absurd sense of humor. A repertoire of memes, ready at her disposal!
I love how she is very passionate about her art and work!

I love how despite having gone through many hardships, she is still very kind person.

I love how despite being a bit socially awkward, she has a strong and assertive personality about the things that matter to her.

I love the way she laughs when we are talking and just messing around.
I love her autistic hyper fixations, even things like her love for spiders.

I love to spend time with her, even just talking a bit or sitting in silence.

I love her <3

>>33540382
that girl from soc that likes to troll people, you are so fun to talk to and when you send me your nudes asking if they're ok to send to your e-bfs it makes me so wet and i wish you wanted to send them to me instead,. im okay being your homoerotic best friend though ill troll every single channer for you my queen

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i love life

You should be dead you schizophrenic freak. I'm a nice persom no thanks to you but I still wish for the death penalty for what you did. Maybe the government of that hellhole will implement it.

It will never be "just water under the bridge"

Stop refusing to see your kids.
"I'm too busy" isn't a good excuse.

I'm so obsessed with you and it's hard not to see the feeling reciprocated. I don't blame you because we can't be together realistically. You're so funny, hardworking, and kind. I've never been treated like such a lady despite being a slut lol

I hope you see this Colin but I like you and I want to hangout with you watch anime and have sex with you please dude!

i cried over you last night, but i'm slowly moving on. i just wish you'd given me some kind of closure. we didn’t know each other that well, though, so i guess you didn’t owe me anything. i liked how soft your hair was, and your kisses too. but whatever. your name doesn’t send me spiraling anymore. i hope you no longer feel lonely, i miss you.

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>>33543115

>>33540382
Not exactly a secret but
I'm sorry I can't be simple. I really did want to be at least your friend, and I'm sorry I ruined that too. I really thought I could push those feelings down, I wanted to because if we couldn't be lovers again, I still wanted you in my life in some way. That's the crux of it though, in my heart, I now know that for as long as we're in contact, I will always love you as more than a friend. I'll always adore you, and I'll always hold onto hope for a, well I guess 3rd chance now? Either way, that's why I had to tell you all of this before. The weight was killing me, I couldn't keep lying to myself about my feelings for you. If we stayed friends, every moment we shared would be marred by my unrequited feelings, and it's not fair to either of us. I don't know if you were trying to hurt me when you told me that my value to you was purely function and entertainment. If that was intentional, it worked, because you made me feel like a fool for crying so many times over you. It made me think I should keep looking and see if there is anyone who actually feels the way I do.

Either way, I'm glad to have met you, and I'm thankful for the time we shared together. You're interesting, beautiful, wonderfully funny, you have nice perspectives, I admired you in your totality. I'll miss you. I sincerely wish you well.

@ person who first went by colt****,
I love you. If you ever want to try to have something direct, please message me on Discord.
If my Discord account ever gets removed for some reason (I won't delete it but just being safe), please add me on Signal. My account name there is @[my discord username].01
You don't have to share a single thing about yourself, but if you add me, please don't lie to me anymore. I don't care what you look like irl or what your birth sex or your gender are. I don't care what you might have done or anything that you could possibly be worried about.
If you feel safe with me, I would love to have you in my life, and I would love to be in yours.
love,
your mom lmao <3

I feel miserable every time I talk to you since that time but have no options.

Who knows if any of you still lurk here:

To C, Fuck you. I should have ran in the other direction the moment we met.

To G, I often wonder where we would have ended up if only our stars had aligned the right way at the right time. I wonder if you do the same.

To H and to S, I'm sorry. I hear you're both happy now and I pray that life continues to get better for you both.

To J, Were you even real? Sometimes I wonder. We never even got to say goodbye to one another and your account hasn't been active for ten years. I wish I could have found you in New York.

Sorry to the people I ghosted.
If it makes you feel a little better I still feel like a piece of shit and I think about you sometimes. I wish I wasn't like this.

>>33543045
>>33541028
>>33540983
I'm sorry I didn't see these. I don't go on here as much as it might seem, I'm really stressed throughout the day and I go on here less than casually. I'm basically trying not to self harm by posting online so I don't always read threads. I would have if I thought you would reply.
I'm glad we got to reconnect anyway. And I hope you have a great life if we never talk again. You're really cool.
Love you

I met you here and you used me to validate yourself when I was clearly weak. You treated me great while you said there was someone else. You ripped apart my self esteem. If you're reading this, I'll never admit this was me. But you know what you did. You know you hurt me and have made my life so much more difficult. I'll never tell you this, but I wish I hadn't met you despite how good our times were. And deep down, I hope things don't work out for you. I hope you regret not reciprocating. I hope you realize you could've had every wonderful thing you wanted out of a partner from me for the rest of your life.

>>33549959
go to sleep.

>>33549976
Only if you know who I am

I feel like I obsess over boys way too easily. I'm very lonely irl, and I often use 4chan as a substitute for socialisation. Obviously it usually doesn't work, but the one time I met a guy on r9k who drooped his tag in a thread, I feel like I got clingy way too fast. He ended up ghosting me on no fault of his own, he poetically just didn't like me (I can be very autistic about stuff), but it still hurt, and I didn't even know him well.
Now I've started feeling a really strong urge to connect with some random anon I recognise in multiple threads.

I hate my brain and how it makes me feel. Why can't I just get to know someone before feeling so clingy and obsessed.

>>33549978
I know you should be asleep. lets leave it there.

>>33550034
Give me a hint and I'll snuggle on in

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this is bad. really, very, intensely bad. it was meant to be yet another moment of strangers passing in the night. yet, when you passed, brushing your hand against mine, i turned my head. your laugh is like the falling of autumn leaves, your eyes capable of collecting every single one of my heartstrings as though they were your own, your words so empathetic and kind that at times i can only sit in awe at the person you are. i'm not big on people, I've only had a few in my entire life I would consider special. you're one of them, and i knew it from the moment we met. i dream of you often, think of you often- i'm obsessed with you, really. that's why this is so bad- i'm not sure if you feel the same. even worse- i don't know what i even feel, aside from wanting you in my life. let me know.

>>33549992
If you drop your tag I'd love a clingy lady friend. I had one for a while and miss it

She assumed my dick is small because I'm transmasc.. but it hurt because she was right "small feet small dick" should I end it right here right now?

>>33540382
Hello, L. I hope you will write me.

Not much else I can say

Yes I’m ghosting you because I don’t want to hook up. Next time I’m going to write “no sex-starved whores” in my dm request. But then I’ll probably get zero replies. That would be for the best though.

>>33551221
nigga ur a ftm tranny AKA a woman... you dont have a dick

Did you really think I wouldn't know it was you? Why are you messaging me trying to get me to say I'm interested in things that I'm not?
When I told you about what I've been through, what I've expressed through art, and you told me you liked my art - were you lying? It seems like it.
Up until this point I've said i felt safe with you. And I've said you were terrifying, but honestly, it was in a kind of hot way.
But I am done. I don't know what you are trying to do to me but it's unacceptable. I have done nothing wrong at all. I am allowed to post and have fun here if I choose to.
Leave me alone. You won't be able to reach me on the accounts I had up for you to contact me anymore.
Goodbye.

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I cant risk identifying who i am or who this is for but i miss you every day, every night, every morning. I miss the laughter we had together. Talking to you was the most natural, fun, and interesting thing to do and not a day goes by where i dont crave having one last conversation making fun of one another. Not to mention the sexual tension that was always there. Our short time together in person was an absolute dream and i wish you hadnt given up on me without saying anything. I was ready. I had decided while waiting for your depressive spell to pass that i wanted you in my life. But you gave up and pushed me away. Suddenly i was a stranger, leaving me holding metaphorical flowers for you in my hand as i patiently/impatiently waited for your return. I had felt so incredibly dumb and betrayed. I know i kept you waiting for a long time too while i sorted out things on my end but to discard me while i wrestled with the most important decision of my life? Over what, i had always felt, was one of the biggest reasons you were initially drawn to me to begin with. How could i make such a decision without a struggle? Im still mad at you for that, your lack of understanding and subsequent blowing me off as if i were nothing. After all you had said, that we did, and you promised. Was i ever really anything to you at all? Despite all that, i cannot ever hate you. I wish i knew how you were, to know if youre doing better and are happy. I deeply want that for you. You are, despite how you treated me in the end, the most amazing person i have ever met and someone i wish i could at minimum still be friends with. My life will forever be emptier without you, knowing now what im missing out on with you out there. It may not be the same as it once was but i still love you immensely, you fucking retard.

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>>33552085
I never wanted things to end the way they did. You are and never were just nothing to me. I likewise enjoyed the time we had together. The phone conversations, being next to you. Everything. I think about you every day and I hate myself for hurting you like that. I went into a really bad spell of depression for lots of reasons, and some of it had to do with our situation. I most certainly wanted/still want a life with you. I really wish I could explain to you what's going on, but I fear it would kinda out who I am. I do and will however continue to love you and wish the best for you and hope that we can at some point reach back out to each other. I didn't forget about you or the way you called me names that I liked so much. I remember the sexual tension that is still there. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're fucking incredible and we made such a great couple. Things are just very complicated. Cuz you got me where you want me and you do it cuz you know me well. And I don't wanna be here waiting cuz that always seems to bring me down. And it's shame cuz I want it but you say that it's not about us. Yeah, you had me when you did it and you do it to me so damn well

>>33549959
God, I still feel like this. I wish I would stop dwelling. I don't think I deserve to feel this shitty. Do you feel bad that I feel this way? Not in a "God it sucks I have to deal with it" way but a "I genuinely want you to be happy and I'm sorry it happened this way" kind of way? Could things have been different?

>>33552192
I want you to be happy and I'm sorry it happened this way. Go to sleep.

I know you don't miss me and that you never think of me. None of it was real. I need to wake up

>>33552208
If this is you I didn't mean it when I said I hope things don't work out I'm just upset and I don't know how to react but I doubt it's actually you

>>33540382
I feel nothing for no one, everyone I have loved has discarded and betrayed me.

>>33552855
You get used to it.

>>33551366
Look, I don’t know how much you saw here. I don’t know if you hate me, or if you’re waiting to reach out at a different time, because of the limerence. If you’re doing this for me, it’s not doing me any good. I just want an explanation. I don’t know what happened, if you’re busy, in the hospital even. I’d like to know if we’re on good terms.

>>33553134
I’d just like it if you could make a throwaway email and clarify what terms we’re on.

>>33553134
lol

>>33553160
L?

I really liked you and thought we hit off really well, but I guess you didn't like my face and didn't have the heart to say it. Really sucks to not have that closure, but you made me feel good about myself for a few days and for that I wish you the best.

>>33553162
good luck.

>>33553162
What is L to you?

>>33553134
>>33553147

you make a throwaway email and i'll respond. It might be me but not sure. i've had someone similar to you I used to talk to.

>>33553181
>>33553173
you'd be sure. look up the tripcode for more information.

Mememachine I miss you so much we used to talk alll the time I hope you just made a new discord and didn’t kill yourself i always loved you

>>33553163
Your personals initial?

>>33553203
NMS

>>33553181
>i've had someone similar to you I used to talk to
How recent was this? Last time I talked to L was October 12, not too long ago

>>33553203
If it helps you some, day one you sent me to the "gulag" (your real discord)

I think that you're beyond disgusting. Like wtf ew.

>>33553247
A mind meld?
Now?
Hmm

>>33549171
Might be you, might not be.

Similar situation, but if it is you.

I wish I could say I had some of the feelings you still claim to have, but I don't miss you. I've learned that the only thing I missed was the idea of you.

You were just an escape, because I was scared of my own life, and now that I've actually discovered who I am, the person you think you miss doesn't even exist, and you never did.

I do sincerely wish you well, but please forget I ever existed.

>>33553308
Sounds like something you should tell the person directly because they're probably still hoping to hear from you. You should apologize for lying to them and leading them on for your own selfish needs. If you've actually grown as a person, it shouldn't be that hard

>>33553308
Not that anon, but this seems so similar... how did things end?

>>33553406
Isn't it a two way street?

I'm sorry. It's for the best, really. Goodbye.

>>33553459
Terms and conditions, eh?
I spit on them.

>>33553406
If this really is the person, which I will never reach out to, they know exactly what they're doing.

>>33553411
It ended because it wasn't the right person for me, and when it just isn't the right person, try as we will to resist for our own reasons, it won't change anything about the outcome.

People will often reach the emotional epiphanies they realize they should have taken into consideration far after they have ruined a relationship. That doesn't automatically make their feelings your problem.

>>33553497
I guess I was asking how it ended as in the last time you spoke, what happened, but I assume this isn't the person I thought it might be

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i really like you and the mixed signals are killing me. i hate that you live so far.

>>33553518
I've been there, they've gotta shit or get off the pot. You deserve better anon

>>33553518
Mixed signals?
Oh yeah.

>>33553308
ERD?

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>>33540382
I’ll love you forever

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>>33553778
Wish we could extend the conversation on childhood books

>>33553784
I’d like to go to gypsum mines trail with you
I had a list of the places I wanted to take you
It was in one of the journals

>>33553789
I should have never revealed that I discovered your name, I didn’t go searching far

>>33549959
initial of the person?

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I have a thing for my sister's sister and I hate myself for it.

My dad was married and had three kids before me. His ex had a fourth kid with a second husband. It's rare I really "click" with other people, but she's one of them and it fucking sucks.

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I don't really like bacon all that much. It's overrated.

Hey A, fuck you forever. Fake bitch you never existed

>>33553980
Chill out, Mohammed

I fear you lied about loving me. Your motivation for doing so escapes me.

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R, what the fuck was up with those pitiful texts you sent this month? Four months after you ignored me and barely spoke to me? Fuck you.

>>33541981
We werent together. I didnt cheat, I told him i found someone else.

>>33554293
>What I did to you was wrong but you didn't give me a chance to prove myself to you
Well he doesn't really need to then.

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>>33552179
Ive struggled a lot with not reaching out to you, especially after seeing the destruction from the hurricane, however after the way things left off im put off by the idea of being a nuisance. God forbid being seen as another sort of pathetic individual that we used to talk about. Id sooner off myself than become that. Id love nothing more than to hear what you have to say and see how things are with you, but i also remember how i was already once cut out from the going ons in your life last we spoke and left feeling especially small and insignificant. I cant help feeling that you dont really need me in your life after that. For these reasons i currently cant bring myself to be the first mover between us, but ill always forever be open to you reaching out to me. Always. If you're ever sad, lonely, want to hang out and game, in need of any sort of help, just want to talk or anything else, anything at all - ill be here. Sometimes it seems like i'm in your way. Well, that's how it seems. Hey. You know what I mean?

I tell you I love you as a friend but it's so much more than that. I have loved you since I met you. I can imagine my life with no one else. I want to wrap my arms around you and call you beautiful every single day. You challenge me, you encourage me, you support me in ways I never knew were possible. You make me a better person and you make me want to wake up each day. I get to banter with you while we shit talk politics, politicians, capitalism and the status quo which makes it easier to endure the fact we live under the boot of an illegal occupation. You're perfect in every way, even your flaws I love. I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love you. You deserve the best and I hope one day that that's me.

I am in love with my best friend and it's really difficult.

Dear me,
I love you. I hope you never leave me. I would die if you die. You are the best person I know.

>>33553955
she isn't your sister by blood or marriage
at best a stepsister or sister in law
you could legally date and marry her

I am a victim of desensitization thanks to years of being exposed to pornography and frequent masturbation. It fucked with my mind so much that while I was on rule 34 I’ve had conversations on there that I’m not proud of. I have apologized to those people, and they all accepted like it was not a big deal to them.

I see them as victims of this modern desensitization as well. I’ve since caught off porn, pornography and hentai and rule 34 from my life and I’ve decided to stop masturbation for a while or altogether.

Also have decided to remain celibate until I end up in a committed relationship or for the rest of my life if I choose not to find a partner or I’m not successful in finding one. I already know that God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself, but I feel like just getting this off my chest would help me feel a lot better. I will never repeat the decisions that my subconscious in my hormone addled brain at that time made me do or almost do.

>>33556130
Doesn't mean it wouldn't alienate me from the rest of our family, especially if it ends poorly.

>>33556147
then keep it PG
and secretly date court each other
only tell the rest of the family if you get to the stage of wanting to get engaged and married

I know you hurt me really badly and I still feel bad for unadding you out of nowhere while you going through alot irl but I thought it would be better for us. I hope your doing better and are happier N I wish we could talk to each other again. Iv never forgotten about you

I did my best to reach out to you and poured my soul. I thought I was everything you could have wanted and you felt like everything I wanted. But all I heard back was the void. I've gotten rope burns from holding on so tight, it's time to finally let go.

Good bye R, no matter how much it hurts me to never see you again, I still want you to be happy.

G,
I really wanted to make your neck bloom red under my lips, to see you dressed in nothing but my kisses. Je veux vraiment te baiser!

I'm sorry it didn't work out and I wish you'd give me another chance.