You know, you asked me to spill the beans, I said I didn't want to spill the beans and it'd make things uncomfortable, you said it's totally safe, that it could make things interesting. I spill my heart in a time of weakness and I've never heard from you since. I guess it changed things after all, didn't it? I'm not mad at you, I'm just frustrated and sad and disappointed. I knew what the outcome would be but I chose to trust someone in spite of that, I might be the stupidest man on the fucking planet.

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grandpa you really need to shut the fuck up when im driving, and shut the fuck up in general
your brain works so well when you're alone but when you're with people you turn into such a little faggot that you stop thinking correctly, that's the real reason you bump into things it has nothing to do with your age it's because you're ditsy like a blonde because you haven't had deep human connection your entire life.

grandpa im glad you bump your head or drop shit on the ground when we are hanging out because you act like a god damn fool and deserve it, just keep your shit together and stop being so nice and maybe you'll think clearer. Also you drive like shit but i guess you park better than me.

Greg you're a massive dick, i'm scared of you. You're scary. All that time in prison and shit, you really need to stop doing drugs because as you say you're a 50 something year old man you need to just stop with the drugs and hanging out with druggies because you're mentally fucked up and then you act higher than everybody but you're not you're just as low as the low of em.

james, it really hurts that you can't realize I was right that you're feeling bitter and hurt by what I did to you, and so your behavior is irrational and unfair and cruel. I apologized and I intend to apologize more, but you don't deserve an apology if you think a man's job isn't to protect his woman, that is nature and you denying that will guarantee you being lonely and angry for a long time from now. What I did to you was wrong but you didn't give me a chance to prove myself to you, nor did you really care to investigate into my internal processes, you made no audit of me which would help bring you peace and a sense of control, but you weren't interested. I don't deserve to be treated the way you treated me when you responded to everything.

Dad, you deserved to be raped as a kid and I hope it happens again.

To my sister, I hope CPS does take your kids away because you're an insane fanatic like dad

>>33540772
You’re clearly the Dayton Hypernova of the family lol

>>33540382
I should have never contacted him from here. I regret dating him.

>>33540843
It's over and your free now so stop dwelling on the past and be happy

All I wanted, and still want, is a husband. I want to be someone's wife and I don't know if anyone here even exists. I haven't met anyone who's ever been as honest with me as I've been with them. The closest I've ever come to feeling safe with someone is the person I talked to who last said they were a male from Southeast Asia. I absolutely adore you. I want to thank you for taking me on that edate. I haven't had an online or real date like that. It was nice not to rely on self harm to find men. I just want you to know I loved you and I would marry you if you would just be honest with me about who you are. I don't want to be assigned to one of your personas and only be allowed to interact with you when you're them.. It's fucked up. It hurts to be compartmentalized like that.
I have PTSD and I don't go outside for anything but groceries. I'm disabled from it at the moment. I don't know where to go to find a man. The few people I've clicked with on here don't actually exist.
I wish I had a womb and I wish I could have children. I wish the men I've talked to actually cared when I sent them things I liked as I cared when they sent me things they listened to. I wish they cared when I talked about the physical pain the PTSD brings .
And the more dangerous of the people I've talked to (not you, person I had an edate on IMVU with - I like you) would just stop fucking finding me in every thread they can and messaging me when they're horny from different accounts. I know damn well it's you and I told you to stop fucking messaging me. Let me live my life without having to worry whether I'm opening up to a predator.

I wish I could hate you Jana, I really do. But I can't bring myself anywhere near that. I don't care about anything you did at all. I'm just clueless and want you again no matter what

>>33540956
omfg god babe ive been searching for u everywhere since yesterday im so worried and im so very real ill send u all the proof u want :(( i still have the imvu acc and weve only talked for about a week!!!
F8NGGCENH pls message me i dont wnt to message u first since u said not to

josue, i really miss u. i know it was the wrong time but you genuinely made me feel special in those 5 hours. i can’t even eat sushi anymore. fuck, i hope your okay. i ended stuff with him if u care, for good. i hope we can be something for real later

>>33540956
if u dnt want to continue edating its ok but i really do hope ur ok........and our last convo had me so sad and worried i think u had ptsd and u freaked out.....i really regret not being more available during those times and im so sorry people are being mean to u
<3 ily 4ever and keep on healing!!!

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>>33540382
It's honestly funny how things turned out, eh? I made actual friends and I'm having a blast, while you're still stuck in that small little group, probably forced into playing shit games with a bunch of stinkers..... I kinda feel bad for you, but at the same time I don't really care since you kinda did this to yourself. Get owned lol.

I woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on

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im tired of people who have dated or had sex telling me its not a big deal. fantasy is delusion and i cant help but trying to attain what i dont have because if i dont try then i will guarantee it never happening. i want to do sexual things with a WOMAN. not a GIRL. not a MAN WITH BODY DYSMORPHIA AND FEMININE QUALITIES. a WOMAN. a girl that chooses me over not manipulation or grooming or money or any superficial quality (besides maybe thinking im attractive or having an equal fantasy relating to me). im pushing 30 and have been trying (albeit not trying at all besides complaining and spamming my tag) to get with a woman, a weeb or mentally ill woman or an internet brained twitch anime/manga alt woman and it is not REAL. everytihng i do proves that it will not happen and it cannot happen but people in real life are so fucking not what im looking for. everything i do is contradictory and i can tell when i should stop or change my way of thinking but its like scratching poison ivy until its red and your body is signaling that you need to stop, the transmission is hitting the neurons in my brain but i dont stop. scratchhing so hard until the skin breaks. im bleeding. i want it to happen so bad. i love all types of women yet i dont even know if thats real because how do you know you liked something if youve never experienced it. i want to make out with a woman. have her tongue in my mouth AND vice versa. i would literally do anything to be with a woman, id pay. iv added woman (coincidentally local) and told them to meet with me and sometimes iv offered to pay. for many different reasons it has just never happened. even when they say yes there are circumstances where it doesnt end up happening. it never happens. i got so jealous watching xqc talk about how he has bitches in a bunch of different states. he said that to make his ex jealous, but it just ended up making me jealous. i dont know when ill get to be with a woman and maybe it will never happen.

>>33541108
she went onto chads dick. then another chad. then a few more chads also fucked her ass. now shes working at ihop. doesn't remember you at all. imagine if you messages her kek. thats like the most pathetic thing you could possibly do. shes sucked so many cocks since you broke up.

I miss you and I'm sorry.

>>33541181
just get a new one. theres so many desperate girls on /soc/ who are eager to please a nice man.

>>33541190
>girls on /soc/
w0t?

If you're going to dare to breach my solitude, offer an olive branch.
Not a fist, or claws.

I regret that I convinced myself things could change after the first year of our relationship. I wasted 4 years of my life hoping for things to get better.

By the end of it, I'm damaged, and I have a deeper distrust of women. I'm destined to die alone anyway, but making peace with that has made me very bitter because of how you, and other women, have treated me. Above all, I'm angry at myself for allowing you women to treat me the way you have out of fear of being ostracized and treated like scum of the earth, even if I wanted to defend myself and set my boundaries.

I was raised to treat people with kindness, especially women and even put them up on a pedestal as if they were perfect and needed to be protected and cherished. I have never felt more jaded and discriminated against. I have reached a point where I find women repulsive and I'd rather stay away from them.

There is no hope or optimism left in me, and I will be selfish even if it means at someone else's loss. I don't care anymore.

>>33541181
Say it to them directly

You know how everyone always says being depressed, sad and lonely won't be fixed by getting into a relationship.
Well in my case they were absolutely completely wrong.
It's been around 10 years now but I haven't had a genuine thought of suicide since the first day we started talking.
You're gone now and I’ve accepted that, after all I didn't chase after you because I didn't think I was worthy of you.
Finally being loved by someone healed me in my soul, or maybe it was just knowing that I'm capable of being loved.
I still get lonely, and every once in a while a little down, but I've never been depressed like I was, no longer have I ever put the barrel of the gun in my mouth.
I know it wasn't for very long and I sincerely hope you haven't been on here in years and that you have someone to love and cherish you very deeply.
But you were quite literally in every sense of the way life-changing for me.

I suppose one of the few negatives is knowing what being cherished and loved feels like and longing for that again.
Somehow though knowing that I probably will always be and die single your love and knowing that I can be loved makes it somehow so much more bearable.

I doubt she'll ever see this, but I'll only give the first letter of her name just so I don't throw it on a public forum. I do not feel romantic feelings for you C, at most it's just lust because of how much of a whore you were in the past when you cheated on 2 of my friends in middle school. There's probably some deeper issue there, but I don't ever care to know, especially after you asked me how it felt to have my 2nd half gone after he died. I do, however, wish the best for you. I do believe that some people change with age and you tried your damnedest in high school to be my friend, which if you're as evil as I still feel you are, it'd just be because I was the only guy in middle school whose pants you couldn't get into. Unless this was just coincidence, you even went as far as to become friends with my sister, which would've been a failed attempt at getting closer to me considering how self centered everyone in my family is. I don't know if there was any malice behind this attempt or that was some attempt at trying to correct your mistakes, but there are some bridges you can't unburn so I hope you learned that. I heard shortly after we graduated 3½ years ago that you got married despite being right out of high school, so hopefully that wasn't just another impulsive decision and everything's going well in that regard. I will never understand why my late friend still cared about you as a friend after you cheated on him, but he probably had his reasons so I'd at least like to keep his hope for betterment that comes with friendship alive. That being said, we both know I've thrown my fair share of shit at you (verbally, not literally 4chan) and I'll probably fail to prevent doing so if I'm forced to deal with you again, so I apologize beforehand. If you recognize me, I'll be going by another name, so you will know me when you hear a weird K name. May God bless you and your house and may he keep us seperate

- i feel like you’re the reason im so deranged and fucked up. you molded my being as if it were yours and i was only 14. i wonder what id be like if i never met you. would i even like the same music or games? would i have different taste in people? i wonder if you even go on this website. i feel like you put a curse on me and i haven’t been the same since. i know you think i wasn’t a victim but you genuinely need help but if you ever reached out, id talk to you again…maybe even more. i feel like even though its been years i just have this weird sense of tribute to you. it’s like you were my parent. idk the whole thing is fucked but i want the same psychological warfare again to feel something because anytime i want something normal i never get it. i wonder if lain is still doing good? its like im still in love with you but because i have become you and you have become so familiar. objectively you’re sick, but its all ive ever known. when i was 14, its all i ever wanted to appease.

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I want to have a cute, wholesome, lovely, fuzzy, wonderful relationship with an enormously fat woman, like 400-500+ pounds, but it seems utterly impossible. Just look in the BBW thread, it's miserable. I hate feederism, I hate the way people interact with each other in that space. I don't want to call somebody rude names or watch somebody eat food on camera or send them $50 or whatever the fucking fuck you're supposed to do, goddammit! But I also hate the non-feederism space, where if you tell a girl you actually like their belly they freak the hell out! Why does it all suck!? Why aren't people fucking normal about any of it? I'm so angry!

>>33540772
lol you cheated on james

i would sooner die than separate from u. ur what keeps me living. i wish life treated you better when you were younger. i wish the people around u werent shit. ill be the manic pixie dream girl youve wanted until we're married with children or youre sick of me. im utterly in love with you. the uncertainty in our future is just another challenge im raving to overcome

Mars "Dice", I miss you. I still think about you sometimes. If I pushed you too hard, please forgive me. It's okay. I got too invested too early.

I've written those long letters to you, and I still stand by them.

>>33540382
Things I love about her.

I love how she is very silly and has an almost absurd sense of humor. A repertoire of memes, ready at her disposal!
I love how she is very passionate about her art and work!

I love how despite having gone through many hardships, she is still very kind person.

I love how despite being a bit socially awkward, she has a strong and assertive personality about the things that matter to her.

I love the way she laughs when we are talking and just messing around.
I love her autistic hyper fixations, even things like her love for spiders.

I love to spend time with her, even just talking a bit or sitting in silence.

I love her <3

>>33540382
that girl from soc that likes to troll people, you are so fun to talk to and when you send me your nudes asking if they're ok to send to your e-bfs it makes me so wet and i wish you wanted to send them to me instead,. im okay being your homoerotic best friend though ill troll every single channer for you my queen

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i love life

You should be dead you schizophrenic freak. I'm a nice persom no thanks to you but I still wish for the death penalty for what you did. Maybe the government of that hellhole will implement it.

It will never be "just water under the bridge"

Stop refusing to see your kids.
"I'm too busy" isn't a good excuse.

I'm so obsessed with you and it's hard not to see the feeling reciprocated. I don't blame you because we can't be together realistically. You're so funny, hardworking, and kind. I've never been treated like such a lady despite being a slut lol

I hope you see this Colin but I like you and I want to hangout with you watch anime and have sex with you please dude!

i cried over you last night, but i'm slowly moving on. i just wish you'd given me some kind of closure. we didn’t know each other that well, though, so i guess you didn’t owe me anything. i liked how soft your hair was, and your kisses too. but whatever. your name doesn’t send me spiraling anymore. i hope you no longer feel lonely, i miss you.

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>>33543115

>>33540382
Not exactly a secret but
I'm sorry I can't be simple. I really did want to be at least your friend, and I'm sorry I ruined that too. I really thought I could push those feelings down, I wanted to because if we couldn't be lovers again, I still wanted you in my life in some way. That's the crux of it though, in my heart, I now know that for as long as we're in contact, I will always love you as more than a friend. I'll always adore you, and I'll always hold onto hope for a, well I guess 3rd chance now? Either way, that's why I had to tell you all of this before. The weight was killing me, I couldn't keep lying to myself about my feelings for you. If we stayed friends, every moment we shared would be marred by my unrequited feelings, and it's not fair to either of us. I don't know if you were trying to hurt me when you told me that my value to you was purely function and entertainment. If that was intentional, it worked, because you made me feel like a fool for crying so many times over you. It made me think I should keep looking and see if there is anyone who actually feels the way I do.

Either way, I'm glad to have met you, and I'm thankful for the time we shared together. You're interesting, beautiful, wonderfully funny, you have nice perspectives, I admired you in your totality. I'll miss you. I sincerely wish you well.

@ person who first went by colt****,
I love you. If you ever want to try to have something direct, please message me on Discord.
If my Discord account ever gets removed for some reason (I won't delete it but just being safe), please add me on Signal. My account name there is @[my discord username].01
You don't have to share a single thing about yourself, but if you add me, please don't lie to me anymore. I don't care what you look like irl or what your birth sex or your gender are. I don't care what you might have done or anything that you could possibly be worried about.
If you feel safe with me, I would love to have you in my life, and I would love to be in yours.
love,
your mom lmao <3

I feel miserable every time I talk to you since that time but have no options.

Who knows if any of you still lurk here:

To C, Fuck you. I should have ran in the other direction the moment we met.

To G, I often wonder where we would have ended up if only our stars had aligned the right way at the right time. I wonder if you do the same.

To H and to S, I'm sorry. I hear you're both happy now and I pray that life continues to get better for you both.

To J, Were you even real? Sometimes I wonder. We never even got to say goodbye to one another and your account hasn't been active for ten years. I wish I could have found you in New York.

Sorry to the people I ghosted.
If it makes you feel a little better I still feel like a piece of shit and I think about you sometimes. I wish I wasn't like this.

>>33543045
>>33541028
>>33540983
I'm sorry I didn't see these. I don't go on here as much as it might seem, I'm really stressed throughout the day and I go on here less than casually. I'm basically trying not to self harm by posting online so I don't always read threads. I would have if I thought you would reply.
I'm glad we got to reconnect anyway. And I hope you have a great life if we never talk again. You're really cool.
Love you

I met you here and you used me to validate yourself when I was clearly weak. You treated me great while you said there was someone else. You ripped apart my self esteem. If you're reading this, I'll never admit this was me. But you know what you did. You know you hurt me and have made my life so much more difficult. I'll never tell you this, but I wish I hadn't met you despite how good our times were. And deep down, I hope things don't work out for you. I hope you regret not reciprocating. I hope you realize you could've had every wonderful thing you wanted out of a partner from me for the rest of your life.

>>33549959
go to sleep.

>>33549976
Only if you know who I am

I feel like I obsess over boys way too easily. I'm very lonely irl, and I often use 4chan as a substitute for socialisation. Obviously it usually doesn't work, but the one time I met a guy on r9k who drooped his tag in a thread, I feel like I got clingy way too fast. He ended up ghosting me on no fault of his own, he poetically just didn't like me (I can be very autistic about stuff), but it still hurt, and I didn't even know him well.
Now I've started feeling a really strong urge to connect with some random anon I recognise in multiple threads.

I hate my brain and how it makes me feel. Why can't I just get to know someone before feeling so clingy and obsessed.

>>33549978
I know you should be asleep. lets leave it there.

>>33550034
Give me a hint and I'll snuggle on in

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this is bad. really, very, intensely bad. it was meant to be yet another moment of strangers passing in the night. yet, when you passed, brushing your hand against mine, i turned my head. your laugh is like the falling of autumn leaves, your eyes capable of collecting every single one of my heartstrings as though they were your own, your words so empathetic and kind that at times i can only sit in awe at the person you are. i'm not big on people, I've only had a few in my entire life I would consider special. you're one of them, and i knew it from the moment we met. i dream of you often, think of you often- i'm obsessed with you, really. that's why this is so bad- i'm not sure if you feel the same. even worse- i don't know what i even feel, aside from wanting you in my life. let me know.

>>33549992
If you drop your tag I'd love a clingy lady friend. I had one for a while and miss it

She assumed my dick is small because I'm transmasc.. but it hurt because she was right "small feet small dick" should I end it right here right now?

>>33540382
Hello, L. I hope you will write me.

Not much else I can say

Yes I’m ghosting you because I don’t want to hook up. Next time I’m going to write “no sex-starved whores” in my dm request. But then I’ll probably get zero replies. That would be for the best though.

>>33551221
nigga ur a ftm tranny AKA a woman... you dont have a dick

Did you really think I wouldn't know it was you? Why are you messaging me trying to get me to say I'm interested in things that I'm not?
When I told you about what I've been through, what I've expressed through art, and you told me you liked my art - were you lying? It seems like it.
Up until this point I've said i felt safe with you. And I've said you were terrifying, but honestly, it was in a kind of hot way.
But I am done. I don't know what you are trying to do to me but it's unacceptable. I have done nothing wrong at all. I am allowed to post and have fun here if I choose to.
Leave me alone. You won't be able to reach me on the accounts I had up for you to contact me anymore.
Goodbye.

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I cant risk identifying who i am or who this is for but i miss you every day, every night, every morning. I miss the laughter we had together. Talking to you was the most natural, fun, and interesting thing to do and not a day goes by where i dont crave having one last conversation making fun of one another. Not to mention the sexual tension that was always there. Our short time together in person was an absolute dream and i wish you hadnt given up on me without saying anything. I was ready. I had decided while waiting for your depressive spell to pass that i wanted you in my life. But you gave up and pushed me away. Suddenly i was a stranger, leaving me holding metaphorical flowers for you in my hand as i patiently/impatiently waited for your return. I had felt so incredibly dumb and betrayed. I know i kept you waiting for a long time too while i sorted out things on my end but to discard me while i wrestled with the most important decision of my life? Over what, i had always felt, was one of the biggest reasons you were initially drawn to me to begin with. How could i make such a decision without a struggle? Im still mad at you for that, your lack of understanding and subsequent blowing me off as if i were nothing. After all you had said, that we did, and you promised. Was i ever really anything to you at all? Despite all that, i cannot ever hate you. I wish i knew how you were, to know if youre doing better and are happy. I deeply want that for you. You are, despite how you treated me in the end, the most amazing person i have ever met and someone i wish i could at minimum still be friends with. My life will forever be emptier without you, knowing now what im missing out on with you out there. It may not be the same as it once was but i still love you immensely, you fucking retard.

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>>33552085
I never wanted things to end the way they did. You are and never were just nothing to me. I likewise enjoyed the time we had together. The phone conversations, being next to you. Everything. I think about you every day and I hate myself for hurting you like that. I went into a really bad spell of depression for lots of reasons, and some of it had to do with our situation. I most certainly wanted/still want a life with you. I really wish I could explain to you what's going on, but I fear it would kinda out who I am. I do and will however continue to love you and wish the best for you and hope that we can at some point reach back out to each other. I didn't forget about you or the way you called me names that I liked so much. I remember the sexual tension that is still there. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're fucking incredible and we made such a great couple. Things are just very complicated. Cuz you got me where you want me and you do it cuz you know me well. And I don't wanna be here waiting cuz that always seems to bring me down. And it's shame cuz I want it but you say that it's not about us. Yeah, you had me when you did it and you do it to me so damn well

>>33549959
God, I still feel like this. I wish I would stop dwelling. I don't think I deserve to feel this shitty. Do you feel bad that I feel this way? Not in a "God it sucks I have to deal with it" way but a "I genuinely want you to be happy and I'm sorry it happened this way" kind of way? Could things have been different?

>>33552192
I want you to be happy and I'm sorry it happened this way. Go to sleep.

I know you don't miss me and that you never think of me. None of it was real. I need to wake up

>>33552208
If this is you I didn't mean it when I said I hope things don't work out I'm just upset and I don't know how to react but I doubt it's actually you

>>33540382
I feel nothing for no one, everyone I have loved has discarded and betrayed me.

>>33552855
You get used to it.

>>33551366
Look, I don’t know how much you saw here. I don’t know if you hate me, or if you’re waiting to reach out at a different time, because of the limerence. If you’re doing this for me, it’s not doing me any good. I just want an explanation. I don’t know what happened, if you’re busy, in the hospital even. I’d like to know if we’re on good terms.

>>33553134
I’d just like it if you could make a throwaway email and clarify what terms we’re on.

>>33553134
lol

>>33553160
L?

I really liked you and thought we hit off really well, but I guess you didn't like my face and didn't have the heart to say it. Really sucks to not have that closure, but you made me feel good about myself for a few days and for that I wish you the best.

>>33553162
good luck.

>>33553162
What is L to you?

>>33553134
>>33553147

you make a throwaway email and i'll respond. It might be me but not sure. i've had someone similar to you I used to talk to.

>>33553181
>>33553173
you'd be sure. look up the tripcode for more information.

Mememachine I miss you so much we used to talk alll the time I hope you just made a new discord and didn’t kill yourself i always loved you

>>33553163
Your personals initial?

>>33553203
NMS

>>33553181
>i've had someone similar to you I used to talk to
How recent was this? Last time I talked to L was October 12, not too long ago

>>33553203
If it helps you some, day one you sent me to the "gulag" (your real discord)

I think that you're beyond disgusting. Like wtf ew.

>>33553247
A mind meld?
Now?
Hmm

>>33549171
Might be you, might not be.

Similar situation, but if it is you.

I wish I could say I had some of the feelings you still claim to have, but I don't miss you. I've learned that the only thing I missed was the idea of you.

You were just an escape, because I was scared of my own life, and now that I've actually discovered who I am, the person you think you miss doesn't even exist, and you never did.

I do sincerely wish you well, but please forget I ever existed.

>>33553308
Sounds like something you should tell the person directly because they're probably still hoping to hear from you. You should apologize for lying to them and leading them on for your own selfish needs. If you've actually grown as a person, it shouldn't be that hard

>>33553308
Not that anon, but this seems so similar... how did things end?

>>33553406
Isn't it a two way street?

I'm sorry. It's for the best, really. Goodbye.

>>33553459
Terms and conditions, eh?
I spit on them.

>>33553406
If this really is the person, which I will never reach out to, they know exactly what they're doing.

>>33553411
It ended because it wasn't the right person for me, and when it just isn't the right person, try as we will to resist for our own reasons, it won't change anything about the outcome.

People will often reach the emotional epiphanies they realize they should have taken into consideration far after they have ruined a relationship. That doesn't automatically make their feelings your problem.

>>33553497
I guess I was asking how it ended as in the last time you spoke, what happened, but I assume this isn't the person I thought it might be

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i really like you and the mixed signals are killing me. i hate that you live so far.

>>33553518
I've been there, they've gotta shit or get off the pot. You deserve better anon

>>33553518
Mixed signals?
Oh yeah.

>>33553308
ERD?

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>>33540382
I’ll love you forever

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>>33553778
Wish we could extend the conversation on childhood books

>>33553784
I’d like to go to gypsum mines trail with you
I had a list of the places I wanted to take you
It was in one of the journals

>>33553789
I should have never revealed that I discovered your name, I didn’t go searching far

>>33549959
initial of the person?

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I have a thing for my sister's sister and I hate myself for it.

My dad was married and had three kids before me. His ex had a fourth kid with a second husband. It's rare I really "click" with other people, but she's one of them and it fucking sucks.

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I don't really like bacon all that much. It's overrated.

Hey A, fuck you forever. Fake bitch you never existed

>>33553980
Chill out, Mohammed

I fear you lied about loving me. Your motivation for doing so escapes me.

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R, what the fuck was up with those pitiful texts you sent this month? Four months after you ignored me and barely spoke to me? Fuck you.

>>33541981
We werent together. I didnt cheat, I told him i found someone else.

>>33554293
>What I did to you was wrong but you didn't give me a chance to prove myself to you
Well he doesn't really need to then.

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>>33552179
Ive struggled a lot with not reaching out to you, especially after seeing the destruction from the hurricane, however after the way things left off im put off by the idea of being a nuisance. God forbid being seen as another sort of pathetic individual that we used to talk about. Id sooner off myself than become that. Id love nothing more than to hear what you have to say and see how things are with you, but i also remember how i was already once cut out from the going ons in your life last we spoke and left feeling especially small and insignificant. I cant help feeling that you dont really need me in your life after that. For these reasons i currently cant bring myself to be the first mover between us, but ill always forever be open to you reaching out to me. Always. If you're ever sad, lonely, want to hang out and game, in need of any sort of help, just want to talk or anything else, anything at all - ill be here. Sometimes it seems like i'm in your way. Well, that's how it seems. Hey. You know what I mean?

I tell you I love you as a friend but it's so much more than that. I have loved you since I met you. I can imagine my life with no one else. I want to wrap my arms around you and call you beautiful every single day. You challenge me, you encourage me, you support me in ways I never knew were possible. You make me a better person and you make me want to wake up each day. I get to banter with you while we shit talk politics, politicians, capitalism and the status quo which makes it easier to endure the fact we live under the boot of an illegal occupation. You're perfect in every way, even your flaws I love. I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love you. You deserve the best and I hope one day that that's me.

I am in love with my best friend and it's really difficult.

Dear me,
I love you. I hope you never leave me. I would die if you die. You are the best person I know.

>>33553955
she isn't your sister by blood or marriage
at best a stepsister or sister in law
you could legally date and marry her

I am a victim of desensitization thanks to years of being exposed to pornography and frequent masturbation. It fucked with my mind so much that while I was on rule 34 I’ve had conversations on there that I’m not proud of. I have apologized to those people, and they all accepted like it was not a big deal to them.

I see them as victims of this modern desensitization as well. I’ve since caught off porn, pornography and hentai and rule 34 from my life and I’ve decided to stop masturbation for a while or altogether.

Also have decided to remain celibate until I end up in a committed relationship or for the rest of my life if I choose not to find a partner or I’m not successful in finding one. I already know that God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself, but I feel like just getting this off my chest would help me feel a lot better. I will never repeat the decisions that my subconscious in my hormone addled brain at that time made me do or almost do.

>>33556130
Doesn't mean it wouldn't alienate me from the rest of our family, especially if it ends poorly.

>>33556147
then keep it PG
and secretly date court each other
only tell the rest of the family if you get to the stage of wanting to get engaged and married

I know you hurt me really badly and I still feel bad for unadding you out of nowhere while you going through alot irl but I thought it would be better for us. I hope your doing better and are happier N I wish we could talk to each other again. Iv never forgotten about you

I did my best to reach out to you and poured my soul. I thought I was everything you could have wanted and you felt like everything I wanted. But all I heard back was the void. I've gotten rope burns from holding on so tight, it's time to finally let go.

Good bye R, no matter how much it hurts me to never see you again, I still want you to be happy.

G,
I really wanted to make your neck bloom red under my lips, to see you dressed in nothing but my kisses. Je veux vraiment te baiser!

I'm sorry it didn't work out and I wish you'd give me another chance.

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V, I really believed that you loved me, that you understood me and my struggles, and i tried to understand yours, and for months we got along amazingly despite that and trying to be there for each other. I know i didn't word things perfectly a lot and you also misinterpreted a lot of what i said, But to abandon me out of nowhere like that, how could you do that? It appears that you never loved me at all and were only using me as a means to distract yourself, and as soon as your friends started giving you attention again, you discarded me like a worthless object, which maybe i am but still. I was happy when i heard that you were talking to them more again, really happy, for you, because i knew how much it meant to you. Yet i wasn't aware as soon as that happened you'd just get rid of me, but it seems clear in hindsight. Someone who loved me wouldn't be talking about a family together and then leaving me the same evening and blocking me everywhere, was it just all lies to garner my attention and love? It was either that or you found someone else and didn't have the decency to talk to me about it. I guess I'm happy for you nonetheless, you probably are better off without someone like me. I love you despite of how you left me, and i doubt you'll ever see this, or even care if you did. Take care of yourself and good luck with college, i hope things with your family get better too.
I'm sorry i couldn't be enough for you
Love always, N

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J,
I am very sorry for leaving suddenly. I did intend to come back, but everyday i felt more and more guilt for not coming back sooner, which eventually lead me to not doing so at all. I still feel shitty for missing your bday by few days. Thank you for talking to me so often, thank you for all the drawings you've made. You are a great person and i enjoyed talking with you a lot. I hope that you only saw me as a friend. I do often think about you and I do miss you. I hope that you are well and that you are on your way to become a great animator. I hope that M & P are healthy and as cute as ever. I hope that you will have a great life.

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>this thread
>tl/dr

To C.C: I hope you’re doing well after all these years. I’ve been doing OK I guess. I’ve recently decided to cut off some adult material out of my life because it was messing with my head and affecting my decision-making and impulse control, causing me to partially engage in some risky behaviors. But I’m starting to get better.

I remember all those years ago when we first spoke and I saw that you were the most beautiful girl I ever met. During the brief time where we dated I kept asking you to give me some contact info so we could talk outside of the role-playing app that we were on, but every time you would just ignore it And then someone helped me realize that the only reason that you didn’t do that is because you probably didn’t trust me, and when I decided to break up with you, that’s when you admitted that you didn’t trust me fully.

While I understand that we had been dating online for at least a couple months, I still was nice to you and sent you my contact info just in case. I was open and transparent. I knew you weren’t a catfish because I reverse image searched your picture when we were talking just in case.

But anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I am doing well and that I forgive you and understand why it happened like that. I have not had a real relationship since we broke up. I have lost my virginity, but it just felt hollow. For years, my mind was desensitized that if I had sexual feelings, and that would be attributed to love, but I was wrong so you were the the only girl that never made me turned on, but made my heart flutter. Anyway, I’m getting myself some help to do better and I’m also working hard at my job and taking a break from online social media to rethink my life and hopefully change myself.

I just want you to know that I hope you’re doing well.

Best regards, A~

To uncle C: I’m sorry for how I acted when you lived with us briefly and for how my desensitized self acted after you left us.

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>>33556884

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>>33556937
>>33556884
S-stop laughing this is serious

reminds me of r9k's old letter threads before those died. Absolute schizobait thread.

>>33556174
Short of her telling everyone she had a thing for me individually and then at some random family gathering making a move on me in front of everyone, I'll always be viewed as some creep taking advantage. Not worth losing my family over.

>>33556978
Unfortunately thats the reality of the situation. At least yoy have enough awareness to know this. Even if she approached you first youd still be seen as such anyway, to some degree at least.

>>33557713
Yeah. There's certainly a way it could go down that I'd get away mostly clean, but it'll never be "right" for everyone. Fucking sucks desu

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Es una pena que no pudo ser.

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Lo único que se me cruza por la cabeza es que hice todo mal.
Todas las elecciones que tome, las tomé mal.
No puedo hacer nada. Solo dejar que el tiempo eventualmente me mate.
Dios onions un mogolico

>>33557734
>>33557773
Could always just ask

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I feel like a fucking freak not deserving of love or compassion. I hate myself, everyday I wake up is a form of torture and agony. Idk what’s wrong with me I don’t fucking know. I don’t even want a GF, I just wanna be happy, but honestly I’m just scared to let people in, I’m scared to allow myself to get close with someone, what if they stop loving me and use it against me?? That isn’t a risk I’m willing to take with anyone. So honestly it’s all my fault, I’m a fucking child and should honestly end it all but I’m such a pussy I won’t. I love you ma, brother, dad, you’ve all been everything to me, my only sources of joy. Fuck all things, atp I only want to go crawl in a hole and be forgotten about, I’m not worthy of any goodness or care, just not worthy

>>33557790
Ojalá pudiese hermano, lo intente, pero no fue suficiente.

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>>33557729
i think the only way you could make an attempt and come out alright is if you made plans to move prior to and only bring up your feelings beforehand. even if people found out, you could avoid any fallout. of course, you seem to value your family which is a good thing in it's own so that's likely not something you'd consider. i get it though, the situation of loving someone you dont feel you can have. i'm here in this thread as well after all.

>>33557871
I'd never be dumb enough to make the first move. Maybe if I was really fucking drunk and it was just me and her I'd find some way to crack that door open and hope she responds positively. I don't like the idea of not being able to join everyone for Christmas if it goes wrong tho.

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>>33554293
>We werent together.
they always say that
*spits*

Missing you lots. I'll see things day to day that I think you would find funny, and I'd like to send them your way, but I had to be a spaz. Hope everything is going well.

i still think about you daily despite nearly 4 years passing, i still feel no romantic connection with my husband
i wonder if you still lurk sometimes
you made me feel alive
c

I feel, feel like I'm a grandpa
I feel, feel like I'm already 80 years old
And my skin's so cold
I need a new body and I need a new soul

>>33557993
>i still feel no romantic connection with my husband
Yeah, maybe work on that, I got no interest in someone with a track record of getting bored and looking for someone else without ending what you started. Nobody wants to be the stepping stone to the next guy.

>>33558100
I feel like you replied to the wrong post lol.

>>33557973
tfw me

>>33558096
life can be more complicated than your simple observation. just assume there's more to the story.

>>33558111
nice trips, I'm adding to the lore tho because I'm a c who yeeted off from a situation that sounds like it fits... then confessed my feelings about it. Also there was a wizard because that always makes a story more interesting.

>>33558112
maybe your drunk and need to give someone your car keys!

ccc
its cold, but persevering
come warm me up
t

>>33558096
not my person. i cut it off

>>33558130
>adding to the lore
>with wizards
aight you son of a bitch, im in.

>>33558130
Yeah

>>33549959
>>33552192
You deserve so much more than what I can offer. I'm rotten to the core and I don't want to fuck you up even more. I don't know how to leave

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it was all so surreal. climbing and rucking on the mountains together, seeing the sun set on the snowy tundra. meeting your family. it was like i was dating my older brother. you knew me so well and even the really fucked up things we did together, we had our grievances but never left.

that snowy morning, when you called the cops and took my gun from me, lying to them about what i'd do. i still have the evidence bag by my bed side in the same exact place i left it when i finally got back here. exhausted. a thousand missed calls from you, wondering if the cops would swing in and cuff me at any moment. we really fucked each other up, didn't we? haha.

it was a unique experience unlike any other and even though the relationship left me with anxiety and worsened my mental illnesses, i look back and can't believe the things we did together were real.

we're incompatible. more specifically, me. i'm incompatible. i'm a monster for what i did to you, and you're in equal part a monster for what you did to me. i still think about you sometimes, then i'm reminded of how it ended. we became totally different people by the end of the relationship. little demons.

my bad, haha.

i have my doubts you'll see this, but who knows. it's cathartic to get it out somewhere. i feel like i've had this conversation with you before, i don't think you care. i don't want to get back with you, but i also miss the blissful ignorance we had at the beginning and middle of our arrangement. getting engaged on top of a mountain, racing through denver and memphis, driving half-way across the fucking country on a whim. i hope you enjoy that coffee machine my mom gave us, the one we have at home is actually *worse* haha.

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>>33558691
pt. 2

i don't think you have a soul sometimes, or maybe it's just a maturity thing. i don't know. i remember the times you were selfless and sweet, and the times you were rotten to the core. what are we, F?

can we ever go back? would it even be possible after everything? i'm right back to square zero after having made so much progress with you getting away from my disgusting friend groups.

so F, our story isn't over but it's far past the climax. your first autumn in ganymede without me in it. you sound happy every time i call.

don't date another monster. big brother. my mental afflictions are taking over my life in a horrible way. go find someone normal and be happy with them.

~k

>>33549927
>To C, Fuck you. I should have ran in the other direction the moment we met.
This sounds juicy

Sometimes, as much as I love you, I still regret moving to be with you, for all that I had to sacrifice to do so.

If you dislike the pushy freak, you don't entertain the pushy freak.

>>33553799
I'd prefer not to. I'm scared of conflict and still hope I can salvage things into a friendship despite my bitterness. If you want me to know it's you, you can post yours, but I don't ever want to give this person any confirmation that it was me, mostly because of the reply below.

>>33558496
I don't think this is a me-you situation, but even if you're playing a similar role as the person I've interacted with, let them go. Give them closure. Hell, give them a reason to get mad. The worst part about my situation is that the person who hurt me so much still tried to minimize the hurt, they showed regret for how things turned out, and still wanted to salvage things into a healthy friendship. But the reality is that for people like me whose confidence is already low, we need to break off. We'll cling to the minimal validation that friendship gives us while constantly wrestling with feelings of inadequacy knowing that you're still with the person that showed us up. So... give us an excuse to be mad or to blame the opposite gender instead of blaming ourselves. Let us finally be selfish and angry with justification like everyone else in the world instead of feeling like every relationship failed because we're inherently flawed.

...or something like that.

I don’t know how to write this out, my situation is kinda tough, I started being friends with one of my associates at work(retail), and I think he’s really cute, i don’t know how to talk to him or if I want to talk to him in a relationship type of way, he’s so cute, we’re both short boys so we pretty much are a cookie cutter fit pair and he makes my heart melt when he gets cold, or gets nervous near me or gets blushed, he’s so cute he makes me want to cry, I want to have him over for sleep overs and get snuggled together in a warm blanket with his soft brown hair tickling my face, but I don’t want to ruin it because he seems straight but then again he’s always asking if I’m working that day or if I’ll be outside, and I don’t want to ruin the bond we already have, my store has a tuition reimbursement but it’s being taken away for some reason in January and he uses it for his schooling, I talked to him about it and he said he will probably quit, it feels like my world is going to crash when that happens.

>>33559279
Need to crush the faulty foundation to make a better one.

K.

I still don’t quite know how I feel about of you. So much of who I was back then was a man trying to fill a hole in his soul. Being alone does terrible things to the mind. I don’t believe anything you could have done would have helped, the only one ultimately who could fill that void was myself, and now that i’ve done that, I don’t have any interest in going back to you.

Did I love you? Maybe. I honestly don’t remember what that specifically feels like anymore. I still don’t know what was genuine attachment to you or what was a symptom of the problem. Maybe you just weren’t the person for me, or maybe you were dealing with issues of your own, or maybe I CAN’T love. The only thing I can say for certain looking back is I don’t really care. I think thats the most conclusive evidence I have in determining what you meant to me. I don’t feel like I lost anything, but at the same time I don’t feel much of anything anymore. I left you to answer some questions about myself and I found a detachment from everything, and I’m strangely content with it. I’m safe here. No matter what I do now, I can do so without attachment and without need of anything. Thats the best way I can explain it. It’s a certain freedom I didn’t expect to obtain, and the numbness of it is of great value to me.

I hope you have forgotten me. I hope I don’t occupy a single moment of your life. I don’t deserve even a passing thought from you. I hope you’ve moved on entirely. I understand the pain I brought you with my flaws, and you are entitled to more than any of that. You are a wonderful person, and I showed up in your life as a parasite to take OWNERSHIP of that. You’ve lost nothing in me, and I hope you know that. I’m a dead man and you still have a lot of life to live.

E.

I wish I organically knew and had the innate capacity to be a better daddy for you without having to research or second guess my behavior to provide you the sort of dynamic you so brilliantly blossom from.

There was a post in this board's ddlg thread about naturally exuding the characteristics of a proper, authentic daddy that really resonated deeply with me but I lost it. I loathe my neuroticism and pray one day I will be able to effortlessly provide your little girl mind the sustenance that you thrive on. Thank you for being in my life and it's the honor of that life to appreciate your little body and soul.

Hey I wanna bone

>>33559743
boning's pretty good. would recommend. 6/10

I'm not terribly fond of anyone.

happy birthday, i miss you and hope you're doing well

>>33559828
Agreed

I was in a supermarket and i saw a cashier she’s so pretty and definitely fits my type.i was so want to talk with her and try to something about her but im asian so i guess this cute white girl probably doesn’t want to talk with me .even every time she generally helps me with her professional smile but i know only can watch her from another corner

>>33540382
Hey, listen [redacted], I really like you a lot. No joke, meeting you is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me, and I cherish the time we've spent together. To tell you the truth, you're kinda my dream girl, and if it wasn't obvious, I've been crushing on you since the beginning.
However, I can see the writing on the wall. No matter how much we hang out, no matter how close we get, no matter how much you enjoy my company, I'll never be your dream guy. Even as one of your closest best friends, we'll never be more than that, just friends.
And ya know, that's cool, I get that, but coming to this realization has really made me realize something. I don't know if I can really find it in me to keep hanging out with you. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed our time together and I still think you're a great person, but the more time I spend with you the more sad I get when I realize it'll never be. And now that I've finally had this epiphany, I have the courage to say, I don't think you'll be seeing much of me anymore. We're completely different personalities and lifestyles anyway, and my motivations for hanging out were probably far different from yours. It's honestly better for both of us if we went out separate ways. You can chase your own crushes, and I'll work on myself. I still love you and am grateful for all you've taught me about life, but for now, it's over

Farewell, [redacted]

N, I’m sorry I got you into the bullshit relationship you’re in, at the time I really thought you two would be a good match, but now this far down the line I realize how terrible it’s been for you.
I also regret it because had our relationship progressed the same way it has now, I would’ve maybe shot my shot.
But those feelings will pass, probably.

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you ugh I love you omi I fucking hate you

Keaton you gave up on yourself long ago and used children to set up some sort of facade that you wanted a family to get me closer to you. You never actually read a book to your niece or anything. You pushed for sex the moment we met in irl and even tried moving in with me immediately. I’m glad I wasn’t able to accommodate that. I’m just still a dumbass.

I’m going to die alone but I’m not going to be neglectful and drag others who genuinely love me into hell with me like you are doing to your family. I’m going to live a long life spoiling those around me.

>>33540382
Damn T the way you look at me with those eyes… your dark brown eyes…your quite the flirt desu I haven’t had a woman flirt with me so obviously in a long while. Your lips look really soft, your classy enough, and I just know you have a killer body under those sweaters, though you don’t show it off… I want to pull you aside and start going to town whenever I see you. Your ears are cute how they stick out.

It’s too bad… you don’t seem like the smartest girl around. But now that I’m thinking of the other girls, all the smartest ones are taken… dating is such a hassle though. And I would want to treat you right… idk I don’t have the time either. Maybe I’ll ask just you if u want to study together on Monday, C doesn’t have to come like she normally does. I Wonder what you would say? How would that go. I guess I would need an excuse for why I’m asking just you… I could say “huh I wonder why… just felt like it” and smile at you. When we smile at each other I feel something. Not love cause your not perfect, you seem hard to please actually I’m worried if I ever fell I love with you, would you throw me away? Cause… I become a worse man when I fall in love desu. Lose all sense of self. Loose sight of my goals. It’s awful, I don’t want that to happen again… but I’m quite lonely to be honest. I want a family I want love but I don’t know that it’s worth losing everything for. I’ve already lost everything before and been hurt so much…

>>33560570
If I ask u to study 1 on 1 I know hog would say yes…. Don’t know that I would actually impress you though, I’m probably better in your head. See I’m not actually a fun person I’m either a serious person, I can be passionate yes as well, or I’m an obsessed and potentially boring person. (If what I’m obsessed with is dis interesting to you)

>>33560402
Keaton is honestly a vapid snake. Can’t you see it in his eyes? I’m talking about the guy whose in real estate development these days. At least that’s what I think he’s in… Keaton you may be richer than me, you may have fucked more babes than me… but at the end of the day you have to wake up to another day of being Keaton. So… I feel bad for you bro actually. You don’t have a good attitude, maybe I’m looking at this wrong… hmmm I’m thinking about people I felt bad for in the past what did feeling bad for them actually do, did it make me or them any better? Naw I don’t feel bad for you.

H, I wish I would have met you earlier. I wish I was men enough to take you on. You are so sweet and so quiet. Incredibly beautiful and no one notices how smart and talented you are. A real diamond in the rough…

If I had more… more excess maybe, time, energy, wealth I could make you shine. Turn you into a real queen… but the problem is, I have been in a relationship with a girl similar to you before

In such a relationship, the entire burden of the relationship, everything. Would fall to me. Not one thing would be your responsibility until I could get you to assert yourself.

I need a Partner, someone to work beside. Not someone who I need to first teach the basics of how to live. But to be honest… you are almost good enough to make the burden with it, your so tall and graceful and the little smile that plays across your lips when I speak to you…. Every time I speak to you. Do you like me? Or do you just like the attention. All girls like some attention I guess. h, I could love you… I wish I had the time to invest…

Z do you still think about me? I hope not for your sake. I'm sorry.

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>>33556376
I'm really just so sorry

I think you really are gone for good this time. It's hard because I'm never going to love like that again, but you also made me fucking miserable and could never own up to it so it's probably for the best. I'll try to think of you fondly when I do think of you

>>33549959
>>33552192
It's not getting any easier. I think about you constantly. I think about how disappointing I am. I was ready to give it my all. I never half assed a relationship and never will. But that just wasn't enough. I wasn't "cool" enough, even if we could endlessly talk about anything and everything so easily. I don't know why you let me convince myself that I could be with someone like you. It really was an unachievable dream. Even now, I hurt myself with the people I choose to associate with. I'm electing to spend my time with someone who told me they're going to hurt me eventually, just because I want some amount of validation that I'm not disappointing. That maybe someone could really actually like me. That they wouldn't deceive themselves and me just for a hit of attention and validation. But it's going to fall apart again. It always does. It always will. I should have never tried to start another relationship after my last one. I'm better off alone but now that I know how good a relationship can feel... I'll always know what I'm missing.

>>33561497
And the worst part... I've showed my worst. I've shown how pathetic and sad I can be. I tried to hold it in because the way you made me feel overshadowed it. But you'll never forget how I've acted. You'll always look at me like a pathetic worm even if you pretend you still appreciate me. I'm a reflection of your own insecurities and you hate that, even if we both could've helped each other grow out of them. I was never really allowed to feel or have my own problems. Not with you, not with them, not with anyone. My problems are my own, people aren't there to support me. Of course, your problems are my problems. Their problems were my problems. I had to bear the burden of my own feelings and the feelings of others without one person willing to actually take on that weight. The moment I shared my feelings with either of you, you took offense. You made it into a world shattering issue that I felt something. But when you share your feelings? I validated them. I told you things are gonna be okay and that I'll do my best to help you through this or make the change necessary for things to work out. I coddled and nurtured you both however I could. My feelings? Evil. Your feelings? Just. It's a shame how life works. At least you're happy. You didn't need to tell me those things, though. I don't know why you did. It was probably the cruelest thing you could do to me.

I've been analyzing my past and finding correlation to how I act and perceived things.
Given the situation, I can't help but think it's related.

I feel pathetic when I think of you, because I know you're not thinking of me. I feel so pathetic coming back, but it's not like it matters. I want to get it out in a semi-public manner anyways.
It was nice to meet you. You really have no idea how refreshing it was to do so at that point in my life. You're a very intelligent person and I enjoyed all of the things you taught and showed me. Whether it was yours or simply stuff you enjoyed. I hope you continue pursuing your creative endeavors with the same joy and passion you showed in our conversations. I hope no one ever shakes off the patience you showed me, or the compassion you show the world around you. My words don't mean much, but I truly do hope that one day you're able to direct that same kindness, patience, and compassion you show others, towards yourself.
I want November to be a fresh start for me, though I know I sound crazy in this. The trees around me are so red and orange already, I want to change too! It's been so long I don't even dream of you anymore, but you cross my mind when I'm awake. I can't promise myself to not think of you ever again, but I can promise myself to let go of the hurt. Thank you for the memories.

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holy shit i want you to like me so bad why do you go back and forth so much i want to peel ur skin AGHAHASHHSSJ i love you

My heartbeat rings in my ears and I feel an overwhelming guilt not being available in person. This distance and impersonal feeling of my excitement over these screens when I see your name is a very hollow high. You're all I think about and I still miss you I want the most of you it's so demanding and unfair how entitled I feel to your brain but I truly guarantee nobody knows you like I do. I truly miss you and the time that's passed only vindicates the love I've invested into seeing you become the killer you are

I miss my lucky mud <\3

>>33562068
It keeps the skin on.

You're my friend's partner even though when I was getting to know him and hanging out as roomates he kept saying that you were just a friend - that you weren't dating. I'm not sure how else to say this but, as much as I like him as a friend I think you could do better. I think that you have a lot of potential that's wasted on smoking too much weed you're harvesting from your garden this time of year, pleading for respect from him and constantly having to put your foot down because he's being weird, wondering the wilderness naked in hot springs (understandably), and looking for rocks that you're not really interested in. This isn't to say there's anything wrong with that. I come along every time he invites us out and I smoke all the weed he and you offer me. I also love rocks and natural hot springs... and yea I get that he takes us out to amazing natural beauty in our state where we "shouldn't" be according to silly laws they can't enforce... but it seems like that's all you two do together. Besides all of this I think you yearn to have deep conversations he can't have. and unlike most people who wonder the wilderness and fuck around, you're a professional and a badass and you have a lot of potential. I want to care for you and to watch you grow. I want you close to me and not just smiling at me in the midst of a high on a couch while we watch harry potter. I want you close to me.

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sorry for liking u a weirdly intense amount

>>33564659
Its okay, i like you too a weirdly intense amount.too :>

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I'm quite jealous of all of you actually having someone to vent about. I haven't got any contact with not a single person since 2019; and even before then it was barely anything. I do not have any friends, colleagues, connections, nothing; both irl and online. I haven't got a conversation with anyone both online and irl for years now. And I can't reach out either. Its impossible to prove people online you are serious without being vulnerable and showing your face, legal name or where you live. And nobody will ever care to put the effort to get to know me either if I refuse to stop being paranoid, nobody will care to talk and get to know an anonymous stranger first; like me. And irl, well, more or less the same but with people losing interests if I stay guarded and do not show any vulnerability first. I will never be vulnerable first, I want someone to give a fuck about me, specifically me, to reach out without a promise of a reward but simply because they want to spend time, and if this is considered too stubborn then let my stubbornness get me killed for I'm not budging about this.
Not to mention I have not met a single person that I truly resonated with in my entire life, I had few friends and even an intimate relationship once but I never felt home, like I belonged, like someone wanted me specifically and not because they were lonely, or it was convenient, or they had use for me. And the relationships with people I used to have always were cold and died quickly. I always did and still do desire someone wanting me simply because they enjoy my company. I'm certain people like me both live and die alone. Shame this inescapable loneliness is crippling and debilitating to point of not being able to function like normal fucking human being.

>>33566378
People suck ass, hombre.
Gotta love yourself first.
Enjoy your own company.

>>33566395
You misunderstood. There is no love nor hate towards me, just apathy, deafening silence. And me loving or hating myself is irrelevant, but I do like who I'm.

R, I'm sorry I ruined your life. Most people will say I didn't but the guilt you made me feel just has me under a spell because I'll never forgive myself.

L, I'm an ass. I thought I loved you but it was rebound, you're not a good match for me but still an amazing person, you'll find someone I'm sure. I miss you and just saying shit together because I was not as lonely.

C, I think about you too much and I don't even know what you look like. It feels like I found someone in my life who understands and cares but I know it'll never work, I know I'm not on your mind as much as you're on mine. I wish you nothing but happiness and to heal. I know you'll pull through because you're the best.

And to myself: Fuck you.

>>33566423
People still suck ass, and the apathy is exactly why.
They'll use you until they get what they want and then drop ya.

>>33566431
Shame there's little I can do about it.

>>33566462
It's on them, really.
Can't interfere much, they'll just resent you.

Or they'll like it too much and then loathe it when you need to take a break from the trauma dumping.

I doubt that I am, but if I'm the subject of any of these C posts I'm sorry if I hurt you.
You should reach out if you can. I'm sure a part of me misses you.

I dreamt of being your spouse, having a little family with you, making our moms proud grandmas for our beautiful babies. Walking through the aisle to hold your hands, the love of my life, my rock, my fortress and my peace.

You never really loved me. You only lusted me and loved the construct you made in your brain. You don’t even know what you want in a woman anyways. You’re a self-centered opportunistic asshole.

>>33566378
Do you have a discord? I will add you if you post one. I'm 29/F, not looking for love but I would love to see if we could connect and be friends?

>>33567058
>foid expects to be a pet over a protective wall that will decide everything in her life for her and is surprised when she gets treated as a decorative pet
You deserved it

idk if this is the right thread for this
but I think sliding into random people's dms is so fucking cringe that I want to kill myself 5 seconds after I try it
in my mind they always going to act like I'm a freak for trying to make conversation for no reason

>>33566378
If it’s any consolation just the fact that you’ve had a relationship puts you above many young men these days. I get added by women on here who will usually gush over me, stroke my ego a bit and then leave as quickly as they arrived. I would try another site but I’ve unironically talked more with girls on here than any other point in my life combined I think. Wish it was easy finding genuine and reliable people but I guess all you can do is remain optimistic and keep trying until you finally find someone. Casual friends are a little easier I think, could probably find those on online games and discord servers and build up something from there maybe.
>>33567117
That’s why I make it clear to the people I talk to that I have lots of free time and only reach out semi-sparingly. Gotta let them know what they’re getting into and try not to seem too overbearing.

>>33567102
They just talk and make their own assumptions don't they.

>>33567102
You’re right, anon. Guys just want a pet they can fuck. It’s not rocket science, you’re very simple beings. The survival of an organism depends on it using the resources as it pleases, with no emotion or morality attached on it. It’s just a way more simple and efficient way to live.

>>33567821
Sounds like a classic case of cynicism.
Don't apply your failed relationships to every future one, anon.
Unless of course, what you want in a person is the opposite of what was done to you.

In my case, I absolutely loathe the petty little jealousy game.
The stringing along nonsense.
Various other things that currently on the forefront.
Easy way to make someone a stranger.

>>33567840
that aren't*

>>33566378
I feel like you are a could be version with myself, so I'll put some condensed experience into words that would resonate with me, hope you read this and that it helps: you aren't meant to fit in, and when you become the person you yourself respect the approval of others will mean very little, make a bubble of normality for yourself and THEN seek out someone to invite into your life. Compatibility is never generic but is often based on the simplest of things, don't expect to find it in someone who looks good at first and don't take it for granted when you find it.

But I'll add that you are right, you know yourself well, and you are also right that many decent people end up alone, its far from guaranteed with either time or numbers. But, it IS possible, we shape our own fate, and you are FAR too focused on just yourself to be suitable for company at the moment... "Better" and "worse" are circumstantial and generic af, but something else thats true is how low the bar actually is. If you can make yourself into someone you enjoy being around the fact you are unlike others will be your best selling point.

>>33567821
Your thinking is the exact reason it happened to you and why it will continue to happen unless you start looking to be a housewife of some wannabedom.
All the male subs are laughing.
>>33567789
Yep, projecting that all men are what they want men to be

>>33568121
Oops
*stop

today would be the only day you could maybe fix things
hopefully you remember

>>33568429
how about you fix things yourself :(

>>33568434
what do you get out of making me feel bad about expressing a desire for someone who isn't even going to read this post to maybe reach out and do one thing that would improve my demeanor 1000x

>>33568442
whew the victim complex on this lass

I told you I loved you, but I never did. You are not good enough to be with me. You're not even good at games. I found someone better than you in every single way. Stay small, you smelly spic.

>>33568565
Hell yeah

>>33568429
Need a hint

>>33568429
Nobody is going to possibly know this is for them without at least an initial

>>33568678
>>33568699
if she remembers that today is a day that historically has been forgotten about and remembers what she promised me before she hurt me, i can finally let go and at least pretend like she actually cared

>>33568565
Da cope is strong with this one

What games do you play

I gave her my life for 3 years and now she won't fucking reply to me after a perfect week of talking and hanging out, i wanna die

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>>33567821
>Guys just want a pet they can fuck.
You’re saying this on the site filled with male virgins? On the board filled with guys who post for years looking for a quality gf?

I need you more than ever but you're never coming back

>>33569822
Blink twice if some things were said/done under duress.

>>33568429
well, you missed your chance, i told you how important it was, thanks a fucking lot

>>33570055
I have no idea what this is supposed to mean

>>33570289
Lmao

thanks to the girl that added me, had a decent conversation with me for a bit, and then unadded me because i didn't ask enough about you
we were having a natural organic conversation. i did have interest in you. i wanted to ask more, but i'm not going to interrupt what we're talking about just to do it. now i feel like a dejected piece of shit again

>>33568912
I’m saying it because it’s true. And the guy that strung me along for years was just a “guy looking for a quality gf” as well

I’m not a demon, I am a good woman and I have a lot of care, love and tenderness to give

>>33567058
Damn I think this is about me and if it is you, fuck you cunt, you are a whore and you know it

>>33571402
Now's not the time, chill.

>>33571430
She is stupid, though.

W,
I still care for you and worry about you although it's been years now since we spoke last. I'm happy now and I hope you are as well.
You were a friend to me when I needed it most. You'll still find someone that cares for you deeply if you ever choose to reach out again.
I think back to how you were doing before we broke contact and life isn't meant to be as difficult as it was for you.

You worth as an individual has always remained unchanging.

It's been so long since we last talked, and I've been dating since you cut me off, despite this I still think of you and cry often.
I looked you up everywhere and found you, it takes everything I have to not contact you because I know it would hurt you, scratch that, knowing you you would probably be horrified that I found you somehow.
I wish all that happened between us bonded us more, but after all I realized that all the sweet nothings you whispered in my ear when we were lying on my bed were just that.
I wish I knew I was ill before I let you get close to me, or that I had even the most basic understanding of who I was then.
When I started losing my mind you bottled up all your feelings and let go of us, I'm still hurting from it and I'm sure you resolved it by yourself, which is probably what hurts the most, even in the end we couldn't connect.
I want to carry you in my heart as someone I use to know and cherish, but I'm so afraid you would think it's wrong if you knew.

I'm afraid I'll never move on, I haven't been able to love since you've been gone.
I want to stop loving you.

>>33572675
You need to learn to be alone too.
Also, you've identified that you have ills.
First step.
You're not supposed to move on.

>>33572725
>You need to learn to be alone too.
I think you're right, I just fill the void with people and regret it, it feels like no amount of time spent alone taking care leads to much, but it's something else to work on
>You're not supposed to move on.
Probably not, it's just tiring to be depressed about the same thing for such a long time

Thanks for your words anon

Marie, I'm sorry it didnt work out. I wish I asked you about what you loved more. I wish so bad I could have understood you.
I wish I was not so insecure about your love for me and I wish you were kinder and more affectionate to soothe my worries.
I no longer love you, but I would have liked to walk hand in hand with you for a while longer.
There's so much more I would have wanted to do with you... I didn't even get to show you my new place, and how I decorated it, and how we could have kept each other warm despite the thin, cold walls.

>>33572590
Which is what to you?

>>33571322
What do your recent actions say?
Compared to your words?

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I like you, actually a lot. I know I always act like I’m annoyed at you but I actually like the attention you give me and I find it really cute.

>You’re not “#4” of my best friends, you’re not just another one of my superiors, and you’re not a bother to me, you’re actually my crush.

I’m sorry I keep pushing you away- I just don’t want you to find out how I feel about you and that I do care. So ye I’m not chancing telling you my feelings unless you do first (that is, if you do like me back), especially since you’re taken. P.S. the blue flannel sweater you wear makes you look hot btw.

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you're probably drowning in puss or too overwhelmed with people currently and not looking for anything new
I hope I can care about someone I have a chance with as much as I care about you

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i could just talk about my feelings to my therapist or psychaitrist but i dont think they would even take me seriously. so i will write a little letter here

i was sad to see that in our time of flirting with each other, you seem to be looking for something else. we are both in texas, we talked about my birthday, which was yesterday when we last chatted. it is not because of your bisexuality, but i was sad that you seem to not take me seriously anymore ever since you made other posts on here. i felt a bit betrayed. i am a restless person, i always loved the chance to talk to you but, maybe you were talking to someone else.

you were so beautiful as well. tall, soft blonde hair, everything is nice. we have a large age gap, because 5-6 is a lot, but i was truly commited. really was..
i wish i could have played it out better. i shouldve asked you what actually was going on instead of assuming. i feel like ill never know.

im sorry for my reckless behavior. ill find my way around my mistakes and learn

>>33572675
I wish I wasn't delusional enough to think this is refering to me personally but then again I am spending my time on /soc/ instead of doing something useful. Could you write your/the target of this posts' initials if possible?

>>33576196
I'm sure many people here can relate to this feeling, I don't think it's being delusional at all

I'm i.k.

i know everything to destroy the jews and the government :)

>>33576214
Its wasn't for me, thanks for the quick reply. Hope things work out for you

>>33576232
I appreciate it, take care anon

Food for thought, if you suddenly departed from this world would the actions you've taken be the ones you meant to take or will you live in regret?
If they're not the ones you mean to take then why take them, excuses aside.

We’ve been dating for 9 months yet I feel you don’t know me. Being with you has been so fun, so perfect. You fill me with joy-yet, I still have a deep sadness. I’m still hurt from people in the past and I’m insecure, paranoid, and untrusting of you still. We get along perfectly and have had so much fun-but why haven’t we fought yet? It’s weird, I feel like if we were being our truest selves then we would’ve had an argument at some point.
I lie well and I hide my feelings even better. Im sorry, I know I said I’d tell you but I picked up my addiction again a month ago. Im ashamed.
I get paranoid about you and your phone, i value our quality time together but I feel like you’re hiding something even though I know you’re not.

On the other night, I know it’s weird and hard to talk about. I made you orgasm 6 times over the course of 45 minutes, when I got up to shower and came back for my water, I caught you humping your pillow. I do not care at all but seriously? I was right there. This hasn’t happened before, but like-you can tell me if you want another. You were trying to hide it which is fine, it’s your deal but I feel a little disrespected.
I know we haven’t been able to have intercourse yet and that’s okay, I know it’s hard the first time and I wish I could understand. I want to tell you that I think it’s out of our control, nothing is wrong with you-but anatomically sometimes things happen. I don’t think you realize this and I think you think that it’s just this difficult and painful when trying. It’s not supposed to be like that. I think someone should check it out and see if there is something going on. We don’t talk about it much and I know you’re insecure about it. I’m okay with waiting as long as it takes but I truly think a Dr.s office trip would save you a lot of pain and turmoil of the struggle.

It’s hard to talk about and I don’t know how to tell you this or bring it up.

>>33571402
How are you supposed to know, dumbass? Take your meds retard

>>33571402
You could drop initials but you just wanna be a faggot

>>33571402
>>33572239
You two should date each other.

>>33571322
that's something an uggo would say lmao

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>>33576781
>tHat’S sOmEthInG aN UgGo wOuld sAy

>>33576678
>>33576682
>>33576702
>>33576787
No one here cares about your faggot autistic ass opinions. Do the world a favor and become apart of the 42%, troon.

I have not seen you in years. We weren't even close. I still think about you, your smile, your voice. It's a problem. I've had crushes before, and some since, but this one has not gone away, while the rest have. I don't know what's so different about you, or why I feel drawn to you.

>be me
>30yo wife 2 kids
>in love with big cock since teen
>never acted on it, happy life
>addicted to porn but only watch gay, bbc, sissy hypno, etc. which turned me bi/gay
>always dreaming of being a sissy or trap but knowing it would never be possible to embrace that life
>whenever in work trips will play around in grindr and pornsites
>escalated for years from playing around in cams, to ordering dildos and playing around, shaving
>after almost 20 years finally gain courage to try something
>get drunk af in a trip abroad, alone
>go on grindr and find the biggest dick there
>meet up and after all that time finally sucking a real man's dick
>fell in love
>purged like crazy, deleted everything from everywhere
>will never be able to find the same guy ever again
>will live a 'normal' life forever, happily married hoping not to relapse
>jerk off thinking about that dick forever
>dreaming about one day finding Him again but knowing it's impossible
>be me

You finally went no contact this week despite promising you would always be there for me. We havent spoken in a while but I liked holding onto the idea of us working things out. Shame we threw it away, I meant everything I said even if you dont think so.

>>33549927
Not a J but was J someone who lived in New York and you visited hoping to meet them?

>>33566378
Hey man I feel you. I used to have strong friendships, but most of them deteriorated by the time I turned 23 (28 now). I will go weeks on end before hearing from one of the few friends I have left. I’m not on social media. I do enjoy my free time. I have hobbies, and I’m pretty close to my family. But I miss having strong connections and shared experiences

>>33584035
Sounds just like the situation i'm in, although the other person hasn't texted me for days before I stopped texting them...

>>33585567
Text them, they may be giving you space or feel bad for whatever reason. In my case I was tired of being the only person reaching out so I gave them space thinking that's what they wanted.

I've worked with you on shifts for years. I've had a crush on you ever since I laid eyes on you. The more I've worked with, the more I've warmed up to you. Your tomboyish charm is everything I always wanted in a girl. Familiarity breeds a sense of attachment. You are the only one that has made the shifts tolerable. Years of 12+ hour shifts together in a room does that. I could never read whether you felt the same way about me. I always perceived mixed signals, on top of all my self-doubt. Part of that is my inexperience with women. Throughout all our flirty banter, I never knew whether it was just surface level or deeper. I didn't want to make things awkward for you at work. I didn't want to ruin our relationship. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, so I remained paralyzed.

I didn't know how to perceive your signals. While we initially messaged each other one on one, you later started turning things into a crew chat with another. You seemed to think I had feelings for another girl at work (that you are friends with), but I never felt the same way about her. I know she wants me like that, but I don't vibe with her. You once told me we vibed well. I believe it. From completing each other's sentences to not feeling uncomfortable when it's quiet, i think that vibe is there. Now that you are leaving off my crew/shift, I don't know what I'll do. You were my anchor. Now I feel adrift.

My crush has remained consistent, but I've come to the realization you likely don't feel the same way. We have our different interests, but we always found similarity. Our values were similar. Our personalities meshed. I am probably too nerdy for you. I don't know if you were waiting on me to make the first move or not. In general, I don't think I am adequate enough for you. You deserve someone better than myself, but I want to be with you if you felt the same way. There's a reason I've never been in a relationship, and I'll probably stay that way as I am undeserving.

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You asked me why I'm sad. It's cause I cannot imagine myself fulfilled by being with you, but being unable to hate you entirely. You're fine, although I doubt you will be a good mother. And you are quite a catch, a unihorn. A unihorn with a broken horn though. You're not romantic. You will never be able, as I see it, to match my autism for the "meaningless", "semantic" (that's the wrong word you fucking retard!) things. And perhaps worse than that, I will never experience love like I first felt for you possibly ever again, when you were this new thing and I thought you were crazy for me, when you had never lied to me and never broken my heart ever, when I simply trusted you and wanted you to be my world, thought that you could be my world. And this lack of deep passion for us to share, coupled with your incredible rigidity, coldness, lack of romance, makes me feel empty inside and craving for someone that can just make me feel loved like I want to, like I matter, someone that visibly worries about me and who cannot imagine themselves without me. I will never be able to experience the pleasure of being dominated by you. You constantly deny me of my fantasies. You deny my requests. You. You make me sad. But I love you.

all you foids who ghosted me
will never see my love poetry
if i'd sent you the verses
you'd never get it anyway

>>33576478
You should be honest with whoever this is, find the time to have a serious conversation
You felt disrespected?
That honestly sounds cute and kinda hot, but idk the nature of your relationship
You sound like an odd couple, I hope it works out for you both

>find girl I click with
>we have similar interests and get along great
>she shows me a picture of herself
>not great
>i'm slowly starting to lose interest
>start thinking of our time together as a chore
>trying to find any reason to cut contact
Looks are everything, and if someone says they don't care about looks, they're lying to avoid hurting your feelings (spoiler: thats what I do).

>>33540382
T, it's been a while and I'm surprised I let you talk like that to me, or even at all, when you're such a worthless person. I found a new person less than a week after we split and he's a sweetheart. He's not perfect and I'm not either but we find hope in eachother. I'm self aware enough to know I don't deserve him but I want him, so what's the issue. Oh also for the love of god stop hooking up with people and lose some weight, it's nasty as hell

I miss you, and i still love you.
I'm sorry, I was afraid, and I shouldn't have cut things off with you. Especially so suddenly. You helped me through some dark times and yet, all I feel like I did was push you away. You lived on and I wanted to still carry on with you. You're THE person that broke me out of my shell. You're THE person that made me what I am now. You're THE person who helped me accept myself, feel comfortable with myself, feel joy about myself. I can't express how complicated my emotions are for you. I wanna talk with you again. I wanna see you excited again. I wanna show you something silly again. I miss you. All I want to know is that you're okay, even if you're not where you were then. And even if you're not where you want to be now. I just know you're gonna be okay. I just want to hear it from you, v. </3

Haha. I fucking hate you.
You were my crush for the past... 9 years. Little 10 year old me had a crush on you and never had the courage to talk to you.
After our paths split up, I was back on the same depression I was on when I first met you.
The one thing that kept me alive for over 6 years was the thought of talking to you.
To be with you.
Then I met you, almost a fucking year ago.
You went on to become a whore.
I never told anybody how much of a fucking heartbreak that moment was. It felt like... losing an idol. losing the person you looked up to, looked towards for guidance.
The worst part? I'm still in denial. "Maybe that's just temporary." "Maybe that wasn't her." "Maybe she just had a bad day." You abandoned me, but maybe you didn't. Maybe, just maybe, there is a future for us.
Just...maybe...

Fuck you, Layla

You've been looking to settle down with someone you knew wanted kids and a happy family dynamic, and instead you choose to go back to that antinatalist alcoholic prick you dated a few years back? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why not tell me you're done with me before you just move on? Had to lead me on for two months, huh? While I stressed about you?

I don't think I'll ever be able to talk to you again. You seriously fucked up my life for months. Better than the 4 years it took me to split from my ex, but at least I know to stay away from crazy cunts, and now you've proven you are one, so goodbye. Had a birthday gift planned for you, but I guess for your birthday I get a bout of depression instead, mixed with vitriol.

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I'd really fancy hitting it off with you, T, that we get together in a relationship. If we ever get to that point, which is soon or never, I'd like to apologize for neglecting your feelings for that stinking egirl. But then again, I'm a bit afraid of hitting you up, cause you two are actually still great friends. I'm not sure should I bite the dust with both of you and leave you to your devices or face the situation like a man, being with you even if the two of you stop being friends. I have the feeling that I could even get back with her, but that'd both make you happy and shatter your heart at the same time, where we'd all be friends again but you'd feel sorry it's some other girl caressing me. I've had too many unrequited loves to let you suffer the same, especially because I feel like my ex, your friend, will only be trouble for me.

>>33588727
are you by any chance Valérie?

>>33566378
Man this reminds me a lot of someone I talked with earlier this year.
She also had serious paranoia issues, that she was not exactly upfront about.
I was very patient, I was very clear and direct with what I wanted which was only wholesome things, I showed “vulnerability first” myself.
But unfortunately she was lying and manipulating, lied about what she wanted about what she wanted to do and simply was just leading me on and dragging things out because she wanted someone to talk to.
I hope you find someone that you can genuinely have a connection with and talk and get to know.
Just don't be like the person I described, a little bit of kindness, mutual respect and decency isn't that hard.

While we do get along spiffily I sometimes feel like you aren't that into me despite what you say. I'm always the one initiating and it's starting to make me feel unwanted. I just wish you put in as much effort as I do but maybe it's not meant to be.

Dear TV,

I doubt you still browse here, but here goes. An old friend of mine recently tried to get back in contact with me and the entire time we were talking I just wanted him to leave. I don't hate him, I would just rather be alone right now. I finally understand how you felt when we talked. I'm sorry for how I acted, I would have left too if I were you. In the short time we interacted with each other you opened my eyes in ways no one ever did before. You made me a better person. No matter how many times you lashed out at me and called me those horrible things did I ever look at you different. You will always be my sweetheart who was dealt a very shitty hand in life. A beautiful person that punishes herself and hides from the world around her. The way you use people for temporary relief isn't healthy for either party. I want you to know that you can always reach out to me if you need to and are free to go whenever you'd like. I care about you and hope you are living the best life out there. I will keep you in my heart forever.

Much love,
I.

>>33588591
Just be upfront with her and stop wasting her time, fucking prick.

>>33592461
They said, wasting someone else's time.

>>33592461
>and stop wasting her time
She's wasting my time, faggot.

I feeling like I’m trapped in a relationship. I know I’m being a faggot. It’s hard because if I leave I’ll be truly alone. He’s a fucking submissive little bitch it’s so annoying I care to much to hurt his little feelings. It’s hard being a fag that has high standards but I feel like I really stooped low on this one like ugh it makes me want to delete all of my communication with him. Not only that he’s fucking clingy to where we have to be in call everyday 24/7. Not only for one fucking day of not saying “I love you” he gets so sad about it I wish I wasn’t a pussy to end things with him.

>>33595491
Just end it then end your life you fucking queer

>>33549992
just date me im in europe

>some retard adds me
>says nothing
>start every conversation myself, carry it, always last word and always trying to lead conversation forward
>tell person I'm not interested, remove them after a MONTH of this
>they sperg out about how I'm so impatient and how they're busy and don't always have time
Each and every single woman that acts like this needs to fuck off from this board forever. Stop posting and adding people if youre too busy to even have a text message conversation you retards holy fuck

I won't accept your friend request. I don't know what you see in me or what you've ever seen in me, but I've already hurt you enough. I'm sorry for making excuses. I was wrong and sabotaged things because I was too much of a coward to say how I felt and wanted to run away instead. Since the beginning I have been a liar and I've been that way with most everyone my entire life. I wanted love but it must be that I'm incapable of feeling it; I certainly have none for myself. I was just a waste of your time and I won't waste any more of it. Forget me.

>>33597500
>Forget me.
I don't know who you are or if it is even targeted to me, but the answer is no.

Im sorry that i have feelings for you

>>33597627
>:(

A,
I am so tempted to let myself fall for you but I'm pretty sure you're not interested in anything but whatever we have now. I love talking to you about all of the things, and just.. hanging out with you is always so comfortable and I feel like I can just be myself with you. I go from a date with C to hanging out with you because I feel lost when I don't spend time with you in the evenings. I tried for a couple weeks to pull away but it just makes me miss you even more. I'm trying not to be a clingy bitch though. :/ and I'm trying to see what happens with C even though I'm not nearly as into him.

B,
I didn't ever want to only goon with you. I wanted to get to know you, have the chance at something real because the few things that you told me made me think you were a really great guy. Busy, but acts like an actual adult who takes care of his responsibilities... That's why I opened up, told you a lot of embarrassing things about my relationship. But then it seemed I couldn't get a read on you after a while, and I couldn't shake the feeling that you weren't being honest about your life.. it doesn't matter. I'll admit I stalk your twitter, I don't think our values actually aligned very well after all. But you are *still* the hottest man I know and whenever I do something with anyone else, you pop into my head, and that fucking sucks. I miss talking to you, though. I miss that chemistry we had. I still think we would have combusted had we ever actually met up.

C,
I know you say the playful insults and such are just that- playful- but... are you sure you even like me? I know I say it's okay but I sit back later after we finish a call and all I can think is.. oh, why would anyone say that to someone they like? Like it's funny at the time but it's because I'm terribly self-deprecating. But also... I don't want a potential partner to actually see me in that way.

I want to combine all three of these guys into one. I'm well aware how fucking awful I am for wanting that.

>>33597610
Why? Remembering is just a form of self-harm. If you forget then you can move on.

Z,
Add me (I'm the B individual) on discord. I don't really want to talk to you at length but I got someone to translate Fagslop III for me and I want to send the (unlisted) video to you.

>>33540382
There’s nothing left to say. I’m just senselessly screaming with my words.

I am leaving this site. I know I’ve said this before, but I really think I’ll keep to it this time. I can’t find you here.

Email me. No matter how much time passes, I’ll never forget you.

>>33598205
I’ll never stop working towards a dream that has died ):

If you died it would be so much easier to process

>>33598311
That's pretty fucked, coward.

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I still have some kind of feelings towards you, after all these months. I'm moving on, getting involved with other ventures and such, making new friends, but I always tend to think about you now and then. That you might be some kind of love of my life, if such a thing exists. Maybe the classic thing of "the one who got away", or I truly am romanticizing my own perspective of you. I really hope you're alright and trying to recover, and not doing stupid shit to yourself.

Kinda hurt my feelings when you implied you didn't really want to talk to me, in a tone that implied indefiniteness. Working on myself has been nice, though. I know I could have been treated better than how you treated me, in some respects... I guess it's just hard to find your particular sense of humor in others. I really admire(d) that about you. There's something about it that's hard to articulate.

I love you. Please get better. I hope we can chat again someday.

i don’t think you’ll ever understand what it feels like. every time you bring someone new around i’m so happy for you, mostly because i want you to be happy, but partly because i want to be able to get over you. it pains me to listen to you talk about them and let them into your life to fulfill a role that i should be fulfilling. i want to be that person for you, but it’s never going to work out. all those times we towed the line between flirting and being friends, all our friends making jokes about us dating, and strangers asking if we were. i wish it could be different but you don’t like what i am, and that’s ok, i don’t blame you, but god it breaks my heart every time i think about it. maybe in the next life it will work out.