Letter for my LIt’s incredibly saddening to be friends with someone who neither wants nor expects anything of others. You were not being gratuitous by not demanding anything from me. I’m used to having no one except anything from me. I wish you gave me the chance to prove myself, before you watched me fall. If you picked me up from the ground, would I have fallen from your hand? I think I’ve grown to resent everyone for leaving me to walk through hell on my own. This time I left you, so I hate myself most of all. But it feels like you left without leaving. Slowly you withdrew, and I didn’t know why. What was there to say after you told me you couldn’t find anything to say because we share nothing in common? What was the point of telling me that I could leave anytime I wanted? I didn’t want to leave, but I felt like I was left with no other choice. Was this your way of avoiding conflict? Friendship isn’t something that happens to you. Just because you assumed a passive role in the friendship doesn’t mean you can deny responsibility. It hurts to be dragged along, it hurts to feel like the other person is indifferent to your presence, and it hurts to come this far to be told that we are too different to share something meaningful. I didn’t get the initial impression that friendship was something I imposed on you. It feels like getting to know me is what tore us apart, and that is a painful thing to realize.
stfu NEW FAGGOTYOU NREW FAGGOT> I AM TALKING TO MY CURSH BUT IM KCALLING THEM GAYI M NOT CALLING THEM OUT IM VENTIGN SHUT UP NEGWGFAGGOTYOU NEW FAGGOTyou jewish new faggotwhy are you jewish yoyu rufKEW JEWISH A FNEWFAGGOTA FAGGOT A NEW FAGGOT
>>33583503I could never tell with you, and it kept me in a state of anxious anticipation. I think uncertainty was the catalyst of my limerence. How could you be unaware of my infatuation with you? I sent you a few lines of poetry, and you addressed something else in the same comment. I thought you saw it for sure. I waited for your words. I never figured out the vague statement you made about plausible deniability. What were you trying to hide? Why were you keeping me around? I don’t know, but it hurts to think that I shattered your perception. There is nothing wrong with expressing disappointment. Maybe you should be more honest about your expectations, instead of denying them. When I asked you if I annoyed you by being too insistent on wanting to play Catan, you just said you don’t let anything bother you anymore. That isn’t true. I don’t think it is fair to the other person if you don’t address it.
>>33583503I don’t want the friendship to continue as it was, but I can’t help but feel like it could be different. I caught a glimpse of the love you could give, but it was always out of my reach. It seems like you may have wanted something with me at one point, but you abandoned that idea when things began to take a turn in my life. I don’t think you understand how much this damaged me. I can’t tell what your feelings or what your intentions were, not sure that it matters anymore. I don’t know why you referred to her as your ex, when you now claim that you never had a girlfriend. Why do you deny what was once real to you? I can’t follow your internal developments.
>>33583503I asked you if you wanted me to show you a tour of the woods, because it would have helped me, and I ended up doing that on my own volition. I wanted you to pick a pattern from the bracelet site, because making bracelets is daunting these days. It would have helped kickstart the process and required little effort on your part. I like making things for others. In the end, I spent over 16 hours making you a bookmark that you never wanted. If you didn’t like any of my suggestions, what did you have in mind? What did you have to contribute to the friendship? You said you are a depressed schizoid because the world has nothing to offer, well that frames it in a way that there is something wrong with me. I did have something to offer, and you spat on it.
>>33583503I was understanding that you did not want to have a phone call, but you voiced it in a defensive way, as though the mere question was a violation of your boundaries. I don’t know what brought on the lecture, but I was having an awful day and I could have gone without. I don’t think your response made a lot of sense in that situation.
>>33583503There’s always been cracks in the mask you present. I see right through you, unless those cracks are also part of the mask. I’m not sure anymore. There were times when I felt you were forcing a persona. It’s not like I think you are being completely fake, just the way you talk sometimes seems as though you’re trying to come across a certain way that you’re not, or you believe others expect it from you. I think you are hiding from yourself. Maybe you are not aware of it. I’ve spent too much time trying to figure you out.
>>33583540It’s entirely possible this could be an inaccurate analysis to cover the gap in knowledge. I don’t understand you
>>33583503I believe society thrives with collective responsibility. I hold myself to the same expectations I hold others to. You can’t brush it all off as “no one should expect anything of me”. If you want to be free of obligations, then be alone. I wasn’t entitled to your friendship, but because you agreed on the terms of friendship, I believe I was owed a level of effort on your part.
Holy shit, bro. Sheesh.
>>33583578We live in a hyper-individualistic fragmented society. No wonder self-love and self-care is being pushed so hard these days. The social fabric is unsupportive, but instead of strengthening bonds, we atomize ourselves as an adaptation. Friendship is give and take.
>>33583503You have a way with words, and you give mixed signals. I’d be careful with where that gets you, if you really had no other intentions that you are hiding from.
>>33583503FYI I know it’s wrong to get so hung up over a friendship with a stranger online. There were many factors that contributed to this.
>>33583503I think while things weren’t perfect, I have an unhealthy entitlement to you. I still see the good in you that I saw then, and I wish you the best. I need time to heal, but you are welcome to write me on my birthday if you feel it is important to you. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in this friendship, and I don’t blame how things turned out solely on you. I am grateful for what you taught me. I think you are kind and intelligent, but you may be a little evasive, and that’s not the worst thing in the world. I appreciate your contribution to the friendship, and I wish I could get more of you, but I am also grateful for the friendship we had. There is an irony to this, like when my relatives were mad at my great-grandmother for not coming down to visit them. I am this kind of mad. I would be delighted to hear from you again (:
>>33583503>>33583525>>33583530>Letter for my L>What was there to say after you told me you couldn’t find anything to say because we share nothing in common? What was the point of telling me that I could leave anytime I wanted?>I don’t know why you referred to her as your ex, when you now claim that you never had a girlfriend.>I was understanding that you did not want to have a phone call, but you voiced it in a defensive way, as though the mere question was a violation of your boundaries. I don’t know what brought on the lecture, but I was having an awful day and I could have gone without. I don’t think your response made a lot of sense in that situation.Kek I think I know who you're talking about. You shouldn't worry so much about that narcissistic autist, he's really not as great as he pretends to be, I promise you. He's just a mentally ill sperg who gives the illusion of high value by adding everyone, being disagreeable, using flowery language, and bragging about online "relationships" that inevitably end when he uses trivial bullshit as an excuse to sperg out because his dopamine receptors are completely fried and he needs constant stimulation to feel alive. You've lost nothing of value.
>>33583735Can you tell me what his account was?
>>33583735I don’t believe it is, just asking
>>33583745He has many accounts and I refuse to give that retard more narcissistic supply but if you're curious you can add me on discord: temp842Just to see if he's the person you're talking about then you can remove me. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong.
>>33583755It’s not
ANOTHER THREAD? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I love you
>>33583822hiiii manga samurai :3
>>33585202That’s not L
>>33587901I can’t feel the same way I did then. It feels like everything meaningful in my life has come to pass
I'm glad we got to talk. I'm going to text your number six months from now (May 14th, 2025) to see how you're doing. You don't have to respond, but I'm telling you what I plan to do now so you don't get jumpscared. I want to keep up with the Z*** lore on occasion. I won't forgot about you too quickly. It might be from a different number though (and probably through actual text rather than through what we were using beforehand). Good luck.
>>33587962The years have dragged me down Since I was 16, my only motivation to continue living has been wanting to have children (and more out of a sense of obligation, if I am to be honest). I dropped out of school because I gave up on my own life; I just couldn’t do anything for myself anymore. I looked to the future.I started going to school with unbrushed hair, wearing the same clothes, and bleeding gums. I was teased. I couldn’t make my lunches so I’d put mini naans in the toaster and throw them in my lunch bag without putting them into ziplock bags. I’d eat them plain. Sat in a corner alone doing my schoolwork. I couldn’t go on like that, so I gave up.I just want to die to end my suffering. I’ve already ruled it out being about not being able to see over my own horizon.
>>33587992Z***?
>>33588065L doesn’t have my textHeck, this phone doesn’t even have text
>>33588062Don’t know what this late night low quality rambling was about. I mean, it’s not even in response to anything
>>33588062But it’s true. I am confronted with the fact that I’ll probably never be a good mother, and now suicide is open to consideration.
>>33588092I like thinking about being a mother, but more-so the thinking part. Everything is too strenuous, and I am inept. I think I’d prefer death, knowing full well I won’t get to enjoy my own restfulness. Gee, what am I on about? I was doing semi-okay yesterday
Wtf did this guy do to you???
>>33588118It’s mental illness
>>33588152That he caused or what you are currently experiencing?
>>33583503Time to take a break from this place
>>33583503holy fuck stop posting you cringe schizo troon. no one fucking cares here, and no one cares on /adv/. you are fucking beyond cringe and pathetic. its no wonder this fucking person abandoned you.
it was really nice calling you. it is heartbreaking to me how warm just talking to you makes me feel. the relationship felt so perfect b, there’s nothing that can drown out the regret i feel right now. there’s so much i can say about this guilt, and perhaps it might give you some catharsis, but i don’t want to cause more problems for the either of us by wasting too much thought spelling out all the things that i could’ve done differently. i look forward to you messaging, i hope every few months we can say something to each other, just to catch up i guess. i hope you’re able to find someone better, i hope you’re able to maintain strength through the future. i really hope you’re able to move past the memory of me, there’s nothing i want more than for you to be able to have fun and be happy in the way that you see others are. good luck b, i won’t forget about you.
Interesting.
>>33590115You should check her /adv/ posts!
No, you're the idiot. Why don't you accept the blinking sign and the direct message I gave you telling you to leave me alone. You screwed up. Move on.
>>33596477I never received a message from youIt's fine
>>33596966I don’t feel anything anymore, I’m just holding on to those feelings I felt so I can try to feel them again
>>33596968I should have never cast my hope on you, because it’s gone now
>>33596477Never said you were the idiotI kind of knew how you felt already
>>33596983Only after the fact
>>33596966>>33596983I wasn't talking to you, anon.
>>33597080Well.. in that case, I am THE IDIOT lol
>>33596982I’m just having a hard time, don’t mind me
>>33588062A high school drop out... Huh.
>>33583503I don’t want to add to the confusion, but you don’t have to wait to write me. There’s nothing to heal from, I’ve accepted it all. I’ll be spending the holidays alone, so if you want to reach out or something, that would be nice
>>33589755It's actually a woman! But it is a lonely woman who is against help of all kind.
COME BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WOODSTOCK I WONT DO IT AGAIN PLEASEEE
>>33583503sad. hope you can get better and move on from this L guy. i am curious about your lore since you were making your own lunches at 16 and going to school unkept. did you not have parents? were they abusive?
you two assholes with j in your name need to kill yourself for reall i miss you baby come to mama
I ʍoupǝɹ iɟ ʎon ʍill ɔɐʇɔɥ ɯǝ˙
