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I can talk, read, and hear Spanish well, but still can't hear Portuguese, Catalan, Valencian, Galician, Basque, Asturian, Leonese, Aragonese, Aranese, Occitan, and Mirandese too well. If you would like to help me out and talk about any Iberian language. Just keep in mind, I mostly like the retro shit; old cartoons, old anime, old dubs, old vidya, etc. But I like to share all kinds of post '70s folk, rock, punk, metal, and electronic music in these languages, if you are looking for contemporary circle jerking. I am legally autistic, too. If I have come across mean in any way, please let me know rather than ghost or ignore me. I like to shitpost and meme a lot in DM's, but not to hurt your feelings or make your day suckier. I am just used to most 4chan adds having thicker skin than normal fag online places. Thank you for trying it out.
>Discord
frakto

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>>33726068
Bro is just setting people up to be abused.

Add me I'll be talking to you but I'll be thinking about Her.

My smile genuinely scares me. For as long as I can remember, I have looked like this— ugly, sick, diseased. My face is pale, angular, masculine, yet lacking in any handsome features. My cheeks are hollow, blotchy, and sag inwards like those of an old man despite my age, while my nose is flat, downturned, and covered in acne scars. Worst by far is my smile— wide, V-shaped, and revealing a toothy, decayed mouth. There are times that I catch myself smiling in the mirror and feel a thrill of disgust and fear; If any God designed such a being, it was never meant to smile at all.

My flaws extend well beyond appearance. Besides my persistently low weight, rapidly thinning hair, and bodily deformities, I am plagued with several autoimmune and cardiovascular disorders, and my health has always been just shy of corpse-like.

It would be a stretch to say that I have any positive features at all, and my mind is no exception. Despite my interests, I am not intelligent enough to fully grasp the concepts I am interested in. I am unskilled, inarticulate, and inartistic— and like most people, it isn't because of some immutable characteristic, but because I am simply an unmotivated, unambitious, infantile, and lazy man.

Further, I cannot even be said to be innocent. I am a pervert despite believing in purity, a liar who values honesty, a racist that values equality, a thief who values charity, and so much less. Whichever direction one looks, I am guilty.

One might be able to say that, in spite of it all, I am self-aware. Even that is not true. If one were so aware of all these problems, and their roots, and effects, and believing in the good and beautiful, would they not change at once? But I have not, and I will not.

Even this post is itself a monument to my egocentrism. All of these affectatious words say little more than what could have been said of so inconsequential a man:

"Loser."

>>33726068
Oooh let's see
>health in absolute shambles from a bad reaction to meds
>junk barely works anymore
>zero life experience
>insufferably smart
>dominant without even trying to be, to the point people accuse me of being bossy just for making suggestions. Because they come out of these pipes.
>opinionated in ways that don't align with any of the artificially mislabeled political spectra.
>can't stay in any online community long because the trannies and traitors come out and I can't help but point out when their nonsense contradicts itself
>almost 40
>USED to look like a handsome jesus painting, currently look like i'm going to lure you into my unmarked van
Ooh and let's not forget the best one
>Living with Mom while recovering, making maybe 12 grand a year if the commissions pan out.
yeah I'm a real catch. I'm almost afraid of what kind of girls would be into me. But what the hell. >discord
ColdFusion

Genuinely curious what's gonna happen with this thread.

32 m straight, so not really looking for dudes to add me. I overthink most interactions, I like my reassurance, I put other people's feelings above my own way too often, I hate not having closure and I prefer confronting issues instantly. I assume most people are secretly just playing nice and being fake unless I've known them for years and this past year has only proven me right. Discord is vulcanore

23 m US
I've been online since I was around 8 and 4chan since I was 12, still live with my parents, can't seem to hold down a job outside of shitty "general labor" type construction work. I'm emotionally withdrawn and avoidant and yet tend to end up clinging to a person I feel like I can trust and scare them off and always end up alone again. I constantly procrastinate and put things off, and I feel like I have no energy to do the things I want. I'm annoying, a coward, I don't seem to know what my morals are or have solid morals. I don't believe in anything and hardly trust anyone. I'm just so, so lame and disorganized and depressed. And of course the self-loathing. I have many, many flaws and so I'm sure I'm missing plenty here. No matter how much I want to get better I don't know how to try or where to start, and when I do feel like things are improving I eventually end up here again. I'm prideful on top of it all, and probably arrogant too. My discord is akalqiubai

I don't know why but this made me feel UNGODLY things for some reason. You write really well, holy shit. No idea how you haven't attracted a crowd of sappy sad girl mitski enjoyers flitting around your feet like they're little forest nymphs by now considering your writing ability. Please for the love of fuck add me, you actually sound like my type ENTIRELY. It's so sad that you didn't post a contact, here's my discord

>ko_pi_ket

>>33728325
Goddamn and here I was holding back for fear of exposing myself for the faggot I am. In the flaws thread.

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Fuckit, I'll do one.

First off, I have super turbo schizophrenia, I flush my pills down the toilet in fear of losing my mind. I'm afraid my meds are going to mkultra me or some weird shit like that and I'll forget everything I know, and I'll be more of a slave to the glut than I already am. I keep a pill bottle of ammo on my desk out of weird symbolism or something I guess. I probably shouldn't own guns. As a kid, I set loose dangerous insects into classmate's desks hoping they'd sting the people I hated.

I have a lot of shit wrong with my body too. Due to a weird genetic condition and fucked up chromies I didn't progress past puberty and I'm pretty sure I'm forever alone because of this. Honestly I'd dog on whoever wanted that, I don't think I could look at any potential love interest as anything but a freak because of how I look so romance is basically entirely off the table. I'm infertile, my body is a stick, and it's exacerbated by the fact that I don't eat often. Despite this, I'm actually not super thin, since I've been living like this my entire life, my metabolism is super fucked up. I've got a gross stomach pouch because when I'm in the mood to eat, I have to make the most of it otherwise I'll puke it all up. It deflates usually, but sometimes it sticks out like it's swollen. This gets worse on my period since I don't bleed much. I've got these sharklike teeth in my mouth because after I lost my baby teeth, they just grew in all fucked up and I've never had the opportunity to fix them. I also basically never shower since I don't really leave the house for shit. For some reason, I have tits, and you'd THINK this was a blessing but actually, it's not. Theyre so big that they just sag, and they hurt. Being sexualized is my biggest fear, so I cut them to be scarred and disgusting so people won't be gross and ogle. Despite this, I don't cut outside of this because I have anhedonia and can't feel pain. I hurt myself psychologically instead.

i lack direction and discipline in life im childish and emotionally immature im unmotivated in school and spend most of my free time browsing 4chan and staring at discord im unable to go through the day without feeling like im missing out on something if i don’t check ive been unable to form anything meaningful or long term most interactions ive had are fleeting and one time why was it easier years ago on here i have a hard time socializing irl because it makes me uncomfortable and i grew up talking to people online because i was bullied and isolated myself i lack personality depth and im uninteresting i just copy other people i like and have no true self im unattractive and overweight im inconsistent with my diet and exercise and im a 3/10 at the moment
i feel stuck and helpless because i have no support system my family doesn’t care about how i feel or what i think im too weak to help myself i feel so insecure and anxious being alone i tend to be codependent and obsessive when i like someone but it’s never really reciprocated and people usually leave after a while i just want something consistent and secure theres no point in posting on soc since the same people always add me back
ive been on soc since i was 15 i used to be an hypersexual ewhore because that’s all i knew but then i started hating myself more and hated the way i looked so i stopped doing whatever i was doing now im just empty and alone im racist and idolize white people why did i spawn here at least im not a nigger or pajeet right… i just cant help being so hateful and i wish i wasnt racist so things would be easier i just feel like my brain and heart are empty i don’t know what’s happening
i just have to start but i keep procrastinating and waiting for myself to start i need someone to cling onto just for a little bit until i can stand alone or just never leave also i suck at writing lol my brain is degrading i just want to cry but i cant!! 21 f asia, discord: meow._.fuhrer

The only thing preventing me from ending it is the fear of going to hell

>>33728388
It's kinda nice to actually be genuine for once, so here's some more of my dirty laundry.

I'm so afraid of being sexualized that I usually larp as a 30 year old man online so people take me seriously. I sympathize with incels, but ngl some of you dig your own graves, as someone with an insufferable personality myself as well, I can attest this is why some of you are single. Most of my friends still think I'm a dude and I'm a little paranoid about posting this with my discord attached ngl but fuckit we ball. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual or just afraid to touch myself inappropriately. People have never taken me seriously when I present them with my actual self, I'm always placed into infantilized roles despite never even having much of a childhood to have. I assume it's how I look, which I guess I get but it still hurts anyways. I was thrust into an adult role when I was young. I'll never get to give anyone my virginity because church members used to sexually assault me repeatedly. It makes me feel disgusting and slimy and used up, and because of this I have a strained relationship with religion as well as romance. I like theology, but the more I learn the more I think that some Abrahamic faiths are kinda sick. This is probably where my fear of sexualization comes from desu.

That and, I guess, people used to bully me for being a "tsundere loli" in school because of how I looked, and for some reason morons can't tell the difference between "cute tsundere uwu" and "genuinely hates your guts and wants you dead." This did not help my hatred of sexualization. I have a lasting hatred of weebs because of this, I'm not even yamato jap so it makes no sense anyways. I'm actually a much less desirable flavor of jap, and believe me when I say if you took me to Japan and we held hands, you'd get rocks thrown at you. I'm also half white which definitely doesn't help. More rocks to throw ig.

Cool confession box! Great thread idea desu.

>>33726068
I am lazy unintelligent loser living with my parents like an ascetic hermit wagie. Due to years of social isolation I never learned to trust people, make friends, get by on my own and basically grow up. Some of it could be just my own schizoid nature. I was always a huge day dreamer lost in fantasies of his own imaginatoin and attracted to ideas of arts, alternative history, magic and the occult so you could say I am also a chuni. It feels like I am wasting my life away in boredom and loneliness unable to change anything. Not even sure if the things I think I want I only want just because I can't get them and if I got them it would not change how I internally feel. I often dwell on ideas of death, destiny and things one can consider unjust, evil and dark because I have a huge problem with accepting limitations despite the fact I live a passive deterministic existance.

>>33726068
Hi everyone OP here

Hope everyone is getting some well needed self examination.
I believe that being honest about ones own flaws is a beautiful thing, especially when you realize that a lot of people are still very willing to love you for them.
Sure it might invite some bad actors, but I'm hoping the people on here are savy enough to filter out those people.

I have always had this belief that showing your flaws first is like the ultimate way of filtering out the people who won't like you. I always tell people my flaws in hopes that I don't attract people who wouldn't be interested in me in the first place. A lot of people struggle to exist in a world where people expect you to be professional and confident and I want to reject that. Confidence IS being able to show your flaws. Confidence is NOT pretending to be the strongest warrior.
It's okay to admit your imperfections.

I appreciate people are seeing the vision. Please be yourself unapologetically.

>>33728388
Tall of those scars…but you have the most beautiful hands I’ve ever seen. Even you must agree?

>>33728388
Btw. You seem amazing can I have ur contact info to chat if u don't mind?

I’ll do just about anything for positive sexual attention from women
What I won’t do: pay

i've told myself that i lie to people i love to protect them. i tell myself that if they knew the truth about how miserable i really am they'd be distraught, and that the only way to protect them from that is to lie. but there was another solution, wasn't there? i could have just not been an irredeemable failure. i could have told them the truth and then i could've put in the effort to make something of myself with their help.
but to do that would have meant i had to stop being a lazy shit and an arrant coward, which is probably why i never did it. it was never about them. it was about me, scheming for a way to be timid. like the wicked servant in the parable of the talents, i can puff myself up by claiming that at least i never took advantage of anyone, but that's nothing to brag about - not when i never gave any of them anything of value with my life.
my flaws outnumber the hairs on my head and that disparity grows every year. but this is the one that will torment me until the day i die, and maybe long after.

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>>33730111

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male, 25
>literally autistic
>occasionally debilitating OCD
>clingy and emotional
>low self esteem
>low self control
>high body count
>short (5'7)
>lazy, procrastinator
>elitist
>no drivers licenese
>probably overly high standards
>consume porn
>use 4chan

Who Want Me

seething with hatred towards myself, my art, friends, family, former romantic interests, every interviewer that failed me, my jobs, random people on discord, and this entire board. even though most people have been completely fair to me and i love spending time with people. i recluse and desire to hole myself in my room indefinitely. no one can fucking understand me. i hate everyone so much. people disgust me and should die

I think my biggest flaw is that I'm not stupid enough to lie to myself and say that my life is fine, but I'm also not driven enough to make real changes for the better. That's kind of the umbrella flaw and everything else falls under that.

I hide my real personality around my family because I'm afraid that they'd want nothing to do with the real me, and they're the only people in my life. I take terrible care of myself, drink and use tobacco frequently. I tell myself that it's fine because I'm going to die someday, so why does it matter? Truthfully, I'm terrified of living long enough to have to confront the consequences of my actions.

I hate talking to people about anything that doesn't interest me. I usually just wait until there's an opening, and then I start talking about what I want to talk about.

I'm demanding, and I'm alone largely because I cannot look past the flaws in anyone(including myself). I can always find a million reasons not to go through with anything.

I don't clean up after myself or throw stuff out, so my apartment is filled with garbage. I don't care because nobody else ever sets foot in this place, but sometimes I worry that I'd have a medical emergency and the EMTs would see the filth I live in.

There are a lot more, but I don't want to write too much. My discord is pigmilksoup

I won't lie, I laughed at some of you, but it's not out of spite. I'm just happy that I'm not as fucked up. I'm just lucky I'm a genius.

Am I? That's up for debate. I'm not the smartest, but I always seem to come out on top. Sometimes I get what I want without even consciously trying. And when I don't get what I want, you better think I'll learn from the experience like Napoleon did from his books, and the next person is going to get it.

I love you, but I don't really care about what hurts you. I can pretend I do, even convince myself I do, but I simply don't. Don't get me wrong - it would be wonderful to - but all these emotions you feel, are simply not touching me. Most of the times I help out. Sometimes I get frustrated and make it worse, but it's your fault. Sometimes it's for fun, if I hate you. These weaknesses, insecurities you have, I can smell them from every word you say. I am a thousand things to a thousand people. I am a good reliable friend, or a confidant, a soulmate, or an influential member of this or that group, or just the clumsy, clueless new hire. I'm the person you've been loving for years, who comes back every now and then, who somehow pulls just the right strings to keep you here. I'm the guy who stole your girlfriend, or the girl who stole your boyfriend, and then dumped them after a month. Why? Because I didn't like you.

I don't work and I'd rather not. But when you employ me, I will do the least I can, and often not even that. You see, I just can't quite stand it. I would like to do a thousand things, enjoyable ones, but you're forcing me to be stuck here for a miserable salary. This doesn't help you be my friend, and trust me, you'd rather be my friend.

>>33730977
I'm not unreasonable. I know I can't always win. But we can both win by not destroying each other. Of course, I wouldn't offer that to someone I have in my pocket - but do you really need me as an enemy? We both know what we want from each other, and that is the basis for a good deal. I won't do you any favours, but I also won't play any tricks.

Am I an asshole? Everyone seems to have their own opinion about it. But I do a lot of good things, even at my loss, and very often without hurting others. I'm the one who saved your house from the fire, or did CPR on your dying mother, or helped you change your tyre, or bought that hobo a pizza. I'm the stranger you loved talking to on the train, on the bus, on the plane. I'm the one who made that hour long tutorial on the issue you were having. I'm the one who gave you a different perspective on your issues, who analyzed your dream and gave you sound advice, who you call when everyone else lets you down. If you have a problem an hour away from my place, I'll be there in thirty minutes.

And although I don't really care about your issue, you do, which is why I help you.

>>33730981
split mind
i would imagine you care more than you think but have trouble with intimacy

everything is violent to me and i never feel safe, and this is the only reason that i am not a failure
it's trauma but it's like a symbiotic relationship at this point. everything feels violent and then I'm occasionally violent to match the air and either way i end up feeling like I'm in a terrible situation that I'm not and hurting myself or indirectly others but it leads me to do stuff and experience things
i don't even have a sexuality i like men but it feels too vulnerable like I'm putting myself on the chopping block to engage with that so I'm just mean
this was more vent than anything but 7PR49SV9L

Whatever fires my soul was tempered in surely did not burn hot enough or long enough. I break so easily. I'd say I'm fragile but that word evokes a feeling of preciousness; like an heirloom vase or a priceless antique. I'm closer to a cheap dollar store toy rummaged from the discount bin; I'm chosen out of convenience and when I'm broken, nobody makes a fuss. I'm expected to break.

I'm jealous, the shade of my eyes tells the entire story. It takes a truly insane person to be retroactively jealous. The littlest things grip at my heart and rub it raw. When I like someone I want to be important to them, special... I want to be so full of them, there's no room for myself. But I'm not deserving of those feelings anyways. I'm boring, I'm a failure and a loser in every way imaginable. Friendless. Loveless. Underachieving. Unmotivated. I'm beyond help.

>>33730242
me if that's you

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The quality I'm most confident about is being a disappointment to my family, all the friends I used to have and everyone I've worked with. Wether this is from social ineptitude, laziness, self-loathing or recognizing how neglectful I am is unclear.
Discord, Kik and Telegram are all Raguspan.

>hapless simp
>can't drive
>neurotically healthy lifestyle that probably isn't healthy
>overly complicated personal philosophy that probably just holds me back
>lonely but feels even more lonely around other people
>100% of social interaction through internet
>socially inept
>doompilled
>convinced i'm dying

My only realistic romantic goal is to find a girl who will pretend to settle for me just long enough for me to die so she can take all my stuff.

>>33731816
I think you need a horrific traumatic event in your life. Go get addicted to cocaine and make a glorious recovery with a newfound love for life

>>33731827
I currently have diahrea does that count

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I feel like I’m stuck. Like time froze when I was 16 and I became a shut in, I’m still that same person. It’s like nothing changed. I see other people growing, moving, living building something and I’m just here, watching, not part of it. I don’t feel like a real person. I don’t know what that means exactly, but I feel it
I’m scared I’ll never catch up. That no matter what I do, the gap between me and everyone else is permanent. I’ll never fit in. And even if I try to reintegrate, it’ll just feel performative. I want to feel real.
I keep trying to think about my emotions instead of actually feeling them. Like if I can just analyze them enough, they’ll make sense, and I’ll know what to do. But it doesn’t work. It’s just this endless cycle of thinking and second guessing
I hate how much I compare myself to others. It’s not even conscious half the time. I see people who seem normal, who have friends, relationships, hobbies, lives that mean something, and I feel like I’ll never have that. I’ll never be enough. Not for other people, and not for myself
I want to be selfreliant. I want to stop needing validation from anyone. I want to build something for me not because I’m trying to prove anything, but because it matters to me. But every time I try, it feels pointless and I lose interest. Like no matter what I do, it won’t be enough
I feel like I’ve been stuck in a loop for so long that I don’t even know what progress looks like. I’m tired of feeling like this. Tired of feeling like I’m always almost something
I just want to feel connected. To people, to myself, to anything. But even when I try I don’t know if it’s genuine or if I’m just convincing myself that it is
goodbye6262

Unattractive
Recovering alcoholic
Makes cringe usernames
24F kik: stinkygoongirl

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>>33726068
>>33728490
Interesting idea. I've never ever stopped before for some deep self reflection. I will evaluate myself and write it as I go:
>socially insecure inside
>lazy
>short temper
>easily nervous if under pressure
>may value someone in favor of another
>manchild
>sloppy
>unambitious
>degenerate
>coomer
>apathetic
>reckless
>callous
>bad manners
>speaks without thinking
>liar
>can't keep promises
>vengeful
>coward
>fool
>midwit
>annoying
>bland
Whew, took some 20 minutes. Turned out to be a lot!
I'm trying to work on these, but some feel like I won't be able to fix. Good luck anons, and don't give up without trying

>>33726068
alright let's see:
>overweight. tried to diet but failed after 3 days
>adhd brain, can't focus on shit and have no motivation to pursue anything. currently flunking out of college
>short (175 cm)
>extremely insecure
>coomer
>very hypocritical at times
>browsing 4chan since i was 11 or 12 or smth
>probably pandered too much by my parents
>instead of wasting my time doing fun things like partying and going out with friends i instead spend time wasting my life in my room looking at 4chan and talking to my friends on discord

ladies?

>>33726068
I'm boring and don't take care of myself. I have no motivation to change that and don't see a reason to. Just coasting until I eventually physically fall apart.

I'm arrogant, bitter, and controlling in relationships when I manage to get in them, but for the most part I can't even be fucking bothered. No one has felt worth it in years, I just don't have the patience to care

Kik: Gurt911

>>33728388
>>33728437
hell yeah i'll sexualize you that all sounds hot. small stick but tits and tummy pouch? hot. crazy but stupid enough to flush her meds and bring about episodes? hot. pretends to be a guy online? hot.

fearing sexualization is fearing air.

male, 30, EU

Anxious attachment style
Performance anxiety in public (gotten better)
Can be emotionally intense
Stubborn to let go of things
Sensitive to criticism from very close people

threepw0od (discord)

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disc: full.tummy

>i like to drink
>atheist (i dont think its a flaw)
>being investigated for 2 misdemeanors
>i am a woman
>fatherless
>severe trauma
>TOO BIG OF BOOBS
>avoidant
>on 4chan

Male 20
Unknown amount of undiagnosed mental and physical conditions
Klinefelter's
Gyno
Effeminate
Lazy
Short(5'6")
Low self esteem
Probably too agreeable and submissive
White washed Chink(pure blood, just culturally not really Chinese)
Near sighted
Diet not going well (within normal weight but trying to get skinnier)
Not going to college
Working a part time job instead of full time
Boring
Unattractive
Unskilled in the art of social interaction
Cat larper
Procrastinator
Lives in California
Can't cook
Can't do car maintenance
Unambitious
Unorganized
Fucked up teeth
Idk what else to put, my brain sometimes blanks out completely randomly. I get people asking if I'm gay a lot so like my personality is probably very effeminate. I also have like long hair, ass length/lower back. I ain't a twink nor am I really built. I get like insecure in how I look. But only like facial and body wise, I don't care how my clothes or hair looks. I don't really have good manners. I probably say like too much if I get going on a subject. Small penis, small testicles, can't grow a beard to save my life, fat but apparently not really, b cup gyno titties apparently, idk what else.
Discord katt5908

>>33728388
>>33728437
>incels dig their own graves, it's their personalities!
>makes a post about how undesirable, shitty, and alienating she is that would be irrevocably hoe-scaring coming from a male, still gets simps trying to add her
lol

>>33735193
What are your interests, anon?

>>33735952
Mtg, cats, Tetris, rts, ck2 and 3, single player games, metal, white girl pop. I like reading like news about the economy and stocks. I also watch like videos about various topics such as shipping, military, and like lore about various games... Mostly Warhammer 40k.

I could go on for hours, so...
Prone to melancholy
Tendency towards black and white thinking, catastrophizing
Very likely another BPDemon
Except the "quiet" type, so not the fun one, but the type that gets ditched for the former
Objectively unattractive
Eye bags since I was a kid
"Ex" ftm, so fucked up my already unattractive body with hormones, "ex" because I'm still a gender faggot, I just don't bother even trying anymore
Disgusted by chasers and have grown to despise human sexuality
Anxious to a pathetic degree
Quick to point the finger, perceive hypocrisy, instead of just minding my own business and doing my best
Judgmental of others, don't know if I'm judgmental of others out of insecurity, or insecure because of how I judge others
Potential arrogance or superiority complex that goes unchecked under layers of self-criticism and hatred
Zero work ethic
Such a sad human, my only cope in form of addictions are comfort eating and staying distracted with screen 24/7
Potential Chad-widow
Misophonia
Always has a runny nose
Constantly tired
Can't make a dumb list without dooming

>>33728009
askalqiubai* whoops.

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>>33726068
Several young life experiences lead me to:

•I don't trust anyone.

I haven't been and doubt I can be intimate because thats based on trust.
My entire life has been learning how to cut parts of myself off to survive, and I'm at a point where I doubt any one can hurt me anyway.

•I am concrete and practical

I always have the monkey wrench for your retarded statement, and will unintentionally throw it in the works, when I was simply taking you seriously, and asking how you navigated it.
I've had people claim I was controlling them, when I simply asked for the next step in our mutual plan, a plan they picked.

I had a Discord, but It kept asking if I was human, then locked me out while I was talking to a friend on New Years and there's no point to making another.

I'm starting to wonder why I'm bothering to make connections, no one is mature enough, thier preferences are insane, they aren't physicaly close, nor do they want anything long term.

>>33737753
>doesn't work
>has superiority complex
you will be of the first to rot

Overweight, agoraphobia, other anxiety shit. Trying to change my life but it's getting harder lately.
28, F, German, I really want a relationship but I also understand that nobody wants sick people.

I am a hopeless romantic with no other significant mental issues other than immense anxiety solely relating to potential romantic partners. Telling me you will call me in 2 hours and then not messaging me until tomorrow makes my brain scramble itself. Other than that I am weirdly emotionally stable.

I had a not great but very well disguised childhood and no father, so I never really learned how to do a lot of things, a lot has been self-taught. There's a lot of foods I've not tried, for instance.

29/M

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>>33726068

Physically weak and ugly due to genetics. No motivation to live beyond the bare minimum. Doesn't like taking chances to progress, or having my plans and expectations shattered. Fails to remain faithless and avoid assumptions despite this. Values structure and control, but hates the means necessary to obtain power in this world and over myself. Poor. Wastes a great amount of time understanding right from wrong on matters that cannot be helped, such as the conditions I was born into. Cannot relieve myself of the burden of yearning for love or of hatred of humanity for having never once felt the warm embrace of another human. Pursuing intellectual openmindedness made it difficult for me to defend myself psychologically, since emotional toughness is found in preemptive close mindedness. It is not hard to hurt me. I supress a great deal of anger and sadness. I am embarrassed and afraid to show my entire self no matter how much I want to value truth and honesty. I cannot help but feel the weight of other's expectations at times despite knowing I should not care. I have little control over my autonomic nervous system, general anxiety. I know we don't have free will yet I want to torture people who hurt me. Depression, suicidal tendencies. I can only fake love, I can't feel it.

parkisempty

>>33738170

Also let ke just add this, only contact me if you're not annoying and you're willing to watch movies with me all the time. That's all I care about as far as company roght now.

>>33737875
Interests?

"The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness. I was impatient to leave her while things still stood the same, before I got wounded, and I spread my usual smokescreen of farce."

>>33727661
This goes hard

I speak fluent Spanish, but I'm embarrassed of my accent. I feel ugly even though I look normal. When I travel abroad I make lots of friends and meet tons of women, while in my own country I have no friends and feel lonely.
I used to read a lot now I don't. I sometimes dream of ending it all but I can't. I work a lot, I go to school and i still feel like I'm worthless.
I just feel empty and sad. Yet the few times I have friends or something to do I feel happy again.
my discord is mirabai22