The Glazers give you 5 seasons and unlimited budget to turn the club around.What do you do?
>>150518057360 and walk away
>>150518057start academy kids and keep all the money
>>150518057How advanced is cloning technology these days?
>>150518057I'd probably party all night, come in hungover and expect my team to do the same. Bring footy back, no more of this bullshit where everyone is a machine designed to play football. Manchester has a great party scene, get players who want that.
sell all the non-english guys
>>150518057Half arse it with a meme formation and get a golden goodbye when I'm sacked after a seasonEasy money
>>150518057buy all the Liverpool players and coaches
>>150518057make peace with the fact that it is over for the next 20 years, united will be a mid to lower table team. In the meantime do some voodoo rituals to improve luck until you hit the jackpot with Ferguson 2.0
>>150518057>The Glazers give you 5 seasons and unlimited budgetBut that's the thing... they won't give you jack shit.
>>150518057give the "bomb squad" new 6 year contractsresign and watch what happens
pretty much what they've been trying to do this summer. Buy PL proven players. No farmer league trash
>>150518916That's where I bring the party. Head down to Tampa, get a hold of my old friend who used to whore down there, get some prime whores, some of those smart ones, who make a good conversation, get some of those good pills that make you real jazzed and make those guys agree to anything.
>>150518455Name one Man Utd player who doesn't speak English.
>>150519150Harry Maguire
>>150518057Season 1 (current): Don't get relegated.Season 2: Sell/release every single player. Hire only female football players. Make a case about women playing in top EPL. Lose every single game catastrophically. At the end of the season, protest FIFA to not get relegated, throw huge protest all over UK in support of strong women. Team ends up not being relegated. Season 3: Every team automatically lets us win out of fear of being seen as misogynist. Finally win the EPL again.Season 4: Do the same thing but in Champions League. End up winning the CL with an entire team of women.Season 5: Transfer all players to CL rivals. Keep a cheeky 20% cut. Retire on an island knowing that I have completely destroyed footy forever.
>>150518916This. Manchester United needs to start spending more. That's obviously the missing piece of the puzzle
>>150519095
>>150519150You, since that isn't what he said, brownoid
>>150518221Unironically a better strategy than whatever they are doing right now. Pretty much almost all of their recent academy graduate are decent to great, like they never give a chance to that Carreras kid and he become elite out of nowhere right after he left. Hell, Vitek and Kovar are better than Bayindir and Onana I bet.
>>150518057Buy Portuguese and Dutch frauds
>>150518057>pogback2.0>pair him with some former international in his late 30s or any kid with an afro>Nicholas Jackson 90m 300k/week>Vinicius Junior £180m 600k/week>scout south america for a 5'5 preening teenage winger and say yes to absolutely everything he wants>run a skills competition on tiktok for a place on the other wing>drop Onana after poor performances but persistently bring him back in next game>defenders idk whoever goal.com says is 'showing promise' in the belgian league>wear some tryhard fashion on the touchline and pull pensive expressions>deflect or accept responsibility for everything that goes wrong from thereon
>>150518057Pay a team of hitmen to kill the top players and best managers from every other team in the league.
>>150518057I spend 80m on my agents client from Ajax thay the scouts rate at 25m and pocket a healthy brown envelope
>>150518057UNLIMITED FRAUD WORKS!
You need to revamp the squad here's how>sign talent from underated leagues like the Portuguese or Dutch league >add a youngster from the academy>pair these unproven talents with strong names from top leagues like the Bundesliga>make sure you sign them on good contracts so the other clubs can't snipe them
>>150518057>What do you do?- Sell what is possible and offer trade deals with other clubs for youth prospects- Impose a height limit. Nobody shorter than 5 foot 8- Focus within the academy and bring in Championship grade lads who are local and love the club. No more mercs, people who would die for the badge- Anyone who could qualify for AFCON. Sell / trade them to Arsenal or Chelsea- Any kids from South-East Asia, focus on bringing in. The African market has been lost, but United can reclaim Asia now with Son over in LA
>>150518916How would you feel of you hadn't eaten breakfast this morning?
-No contracts longer than two years-Loan underperforming top signings to whoever’s winning the Championship; take their best players in return when they come up so we never get relegated-When a player’s contract is going to expire, let them leave on a free unless they genuinely deserve to stay-Say in every interview that our target for the season is just to finish in the top half-Leave when my five years is up, but tell all the media who I want to replace me (it will be someone even worse)
Relocate the team to Scotland
Sell everyoneStart with the youth squad plus a few expensive but promising young (preferably white) playersGive the keys to the car to some old fellow like Raineri (who won the league with no bodies)There you go I fixed it
The odds are if the average football fan was put in charge of United transfers over the past 5 years, they would have done a better job than what the professionals did.
Buy the entire Congo nt.
1. No one smaller than 175cm on the squad;2. Physically strong wingers on both flanks (any Hulk/Bale regens I can find)3. Target man striker;4. 4-2-3-1;5. Always at least 4 british players on the starting lineup, 2 of which must come from the academy;6. British deep-lying playmaker as a DM, always;7. Starting lineup with 4 CBs, 2 DMs and 2 fullbacks against controlling teams (Barcelona, City, PSG);8. Immediately put on the market anybody who wants to leave, no hesitation.9. Scottish, irish and welsh players galore, especially as subs;10. At least one roided bald white man starting, always.Nothing can stop this.
