shit teams

CJ is a fraud

cam ward is legit

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Howdy texiebros
How will we fuck this game up? If we lose this game the season is officially toast since the tits are even worse than the jags

>>151051738
I honestly thought we could make the afc championship game. What the hell happened to this team

>choosing undefeated teams for food items
>acting like everyone’s pick isn’t predetermined and scripted
>only enough flags for everyone team to be picked once
the illusion of choice

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>>151051840
Nick Caley brought back the “Patriot’s way” which has ALWAYS worked so well for the Texans

why did you post with a usa flag the last 2 weeks

>>151051589
these are awful teams and I'm not just saying that

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this will be my facial expression i will make when this game ends in a zero to zero tie

Reminder this game has a woman broadcaster
Do not watch with volume

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>>151051880
That was a painful segment to watch. That black dude is so unforgivably corny.

>>151051920
Because I was in the US to have some hot wings and chili dogs and all the American things I've been missing

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>5mins to kickoff
>stadium maybe 15% full
good, this dogshit team deserves to feel unloved

>Beth mowins
And I thought this game couldn't be worse

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>>151051943
>suck so bad we've been relegated to the bitch broadcaster
Grim.

>>151052045
>Beth has the meme that every gsme she broadcasts for will be low scoring
>the game is Titans @ Texans
self-fulfilling prophecy

>>151052045
Bitch should be Mowin my lawn

>>151052043
Less than $100 for lower bowl if you wanna go

>Bills/Saints on TV instead.
Nice. I might be able to still watch Houston if the Bills bootyblast the Saints hard enough.

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>Astros eliminated due to their incompetence and the rags hitting a batter to walk-off for the Guardians
>Texans losing to the Titans
This weekend has the potential to be an all-timer

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>>151052166
I like the top bowl at the 50 yard line. You can see everything.

>>151052166
Nah, they are already having a hard enough time winning without me being there kek

>>151052185
Also add in the Fred Van Vleet injury for the Rockets. It's been a terrible week.

>>151051943
Fuck, I just checked who it was and its Beth Mowins. As someone who watches a lot of college football, I've had to listen to her before.

She is not completely garbage at analysis. but her voice is terrible to listen.

Out of all the AFCS teams, the Colts are the most loyal without a doubt.

>>151052241
That was last weekend where we lost to the Jags and the Astros got swept by the Mariners. We can only fit so much misery into weekends.

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who ready for 3 more hours of pure misery?

>Tits got a first down
It's over.

>>151052310
You missed our game vs the jags last week, now that was misery

>>151052364
SACK!!!!

I've been dreading this game all week.

That’s not a fucking pass are we serious?

WTF THATS A CLEAR FOOMBLE

ok the texans are going to win 5 games this year
fuck everything

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>>151051738
>game is stagnant 3-3 for three quarters
>texans are gassed up and marching down field during garbage time
>offense stopped
>obligatory pineapple field goal
>tits stopped by elite texans D
>2 minutes left
>texans o line reaches red zone
>intercepted
>tits capitalize and make TD+extra point
>texans lose 6-7

If we can't win, at least we're good at murdering qbs

>>151052421
That's been the pattern. Every third year after two straight division wins, Houston has yet to win more than 4 games that season.

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>nfl kickers
This game is going to be one for the ages

Resident thug Al-Shair welcoming this rook to the Souff

>Missed FG to make up for clear foomble
Nice

>>151052495
Remember he din do nuffin like last season. Where is my king Christian Harris?

>>151052482
Shit im too drunk, meant 6-10

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Well I think we found the only team worse than our Texies

>>151052530
I was super happy the way he fucked up lawrence last year.

>missed foomble call
>make up missed roughing the passer
Reffies already starting strong

>3 and out after a missed FG
2025 texies

worst 3rd down team showing exactly why they are the worst 3rd down team.

We are finally running QB sneaks! We’re so back Texiebros!

>>151052242
>She is not completely garbage at analysis. but her voice is terrible to listen.
Came to post this. She actually is more knowledgeable than the sideline sluts, but my God that voice of hers just sucks

>>151052700
It's a start. Still not a fan of run up the middle, run up the middle, 3rd and long screen pass scheme

>>151052713
She trying to have a deep mans voice, she will never be a man

>>151052713
She sounds like a manly 12-yr old boy

Based reffies

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Stroud is going to he Derek Carr 2.0 at this rate with the amount he’s hit.

this is why we get 5 possessions per game. All the drives take 12 minutes.

>>151052744
>>151052750
>>151052713
Literally never any emotion in her voice either

Damn, reffies don't like the Tits

=O

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Holy fuck that is the fastest sack I've ever seen

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The battle of the shittiest teams in the weakest division in the league

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>bad sack
>6yd In route on 3rd and 10
same ole texans
I keep waiting for them to figure it out in the week before but we always get the exact same product

>>151052954
Pineapple bro up in this beeotch

I love seeing these Astros haters coming out the woodwork.

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>>151052974
It's like we went back I time to 2021

If it weren't for Kaimi, Texans would be a 1-16 team

>>151052974
it's all so tiresome

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>>151052857
which is weird b/c we suck, there's no reason to hate us

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This color announcer fag is an insufferable GEEK too.

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>>151052954
the REAL pineapple man

>CJGJ’s replacement, a literal who off the practice squad, is already playing better than him

>>151053111
Someone told me it's just an undying vendetta against Adams for moving the Oilers out of one of the biggest markets in the country. And moving them to Tennessee of all fucking places.

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>>151052310
Pic related, but with Titans instead of Jags

Imagine getting married at a football game.

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So I tried Pizza Hut’s flatbread things and…. I don’t think they are worth even $5. If you’ve ever had Cheesecake factory’s flatbread pizzas, these are literal dogshit in comparison.

>>151053111
Return name and all will be forgiven

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Woody Marks has been a good pick imo

>>151053311
Pizza Hut in general is tasteless bland factory slop. They are a perfect example of marketing doing its job.

Woody Marks should have been Houston's #1 RB sooner.

>>151053431
I had a free pizza so I thought I might as well try their new $5 offering and I regret it so much.

That is one of the most lethargic 1st quarters I've ever seen.

Texans red head trainer looking good today. #pigtails

at least they scored i guess

>>151053526
first texies game?

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>>151053313
move on bro...

>>151053542
qt patootie

CJ…..
wtf was that

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Stroud is just Tyrod Taylor with long hair.

>3rd down and 9
>4yd crosser
Fuck you Nick Caley you retarded faggot

>Stroud throws deep balls accurately his rookie season
>Misses wide open throws two feet in front of him
What the hell happened?

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>even the NFL admin on Xwitter is using a laughing emoji about us

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>>151053688
This game is gonna be nothing but pineapple man.

>>151053758
Stroud has always looked questionable in the short/mid passes, but he at least was able to hit the bombs. Not any more.

>>151053758
New offense most likely but that’s still not a good excuse tbdesu

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>3rd and long (no conversion)
>field goal attempt
>ad infinitum
I can't do this shit anymore, Texansbros

just refusing to fucking tackle.

>>151053614
Fun story. My first ever NFL game as a kid was the 1995 Oilers preseason game that was canceled due to the 'turf being unsafe'. I remember an announcement over the PA as we were walking out into the parking lot saying 'We assure you Bud Adams had nothing to do with this'. Several adults around me turned around and screamed 'Bull Shit!' and 'Fuck you Bud Adams!'.

>>151053824
It’s ok because we’re “close” according to DeMeco

>>151053824
And you just know CJ will probably leave and go to like the Raiders or Saints and start kicking ass there.

Good read by Hunter, at least our Edges are godtier

>>151053431
Pizza hut here is surprisingly good

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HUNTER SACK

Noelle is going to break one sometime this season man, he has that shifty bullshit you love to see in kick returners

>>151053949
Yeah because their European factory probably has higher standards

Stroud is going to die before the season is over

Houston Kickers

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>3rd down
>throw short
>3rd down
>throw short
>3rd down
>throw short
>3rd down
>throw short
>3rd down
>throw short
>3rd down
>throw short
I can’t fucking take this shit anymore

I’m hungover from a quinceañera last night and this dogshit game isn’t making things better.

>playcall a short throw when youre not going for it on 4th
why not just try and throw a bomb? might as well if youre going to punt on 4th anyways.

How do we fix the 3rd down problem, bros? No, fuck off Demeco. I want concrete answers, not platitudes

>>151054184
>black hc

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This Texie offense is anemic

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>>151054211
>we’re close, we’re really close anon, I’m telling you we’re close

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Wow, Cam Ward ain't shit either.

>>151054211
>revive tank dell
>have CJ apologize to gayleb williams for little bro'ing him
>study mahomsian plays

Houston Checkdowns

>>151054211
>How do we fix the 3rd down problem, bros? No, fuck off Demeco. I want concrete answers, not platitudes
Just throw 50/50 jump balls to Nico on 3rd down

>>151054269
The issue is that we really were close to winning in all those games. We have a top 5 defense in points allowed. Our Offense just needs to do a little better.

Texans offense is the opponents best defense, literally stop themselves from scoring.

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>woman commentator

>female announcer
OK I'm out

i feel like the cockshits are gonna be ass this year as well

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>3rd and 17

Surely CJ would have learned by now not to rely on that dogshit o line and simply flank the nonexistent pocket after the snap?

Those cheesesteak puffs look good not gonna lie.

I am from Houston and I am white. Ama

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Should we just start crowdfunding a CJ Stroud hospital ward?

This will end in a 9-9 tie.

Alright, that guy posts here

>>151054785
Yes, that’s what “losing pocket presence” and “being skittish in the pocket” means. Both of which Stroud is suffering from.

>>151054844
Cuál es tu restaurante favorito, wey?

Can the AFC South just be called and all four teams can go on a 3 month bender?

>>151054975
Voy a la casa de tu madre y me la como porque tu es gordo

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At least Ward suck ass

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>>151055010
I need something to transition me from a disappointing baseball season to a disappointing basketball season. So disappointing Texans football serves that purpose for me.

>>151055064
No seas culo wey te pregunté bien ;_;

Why do teams keep investing in coon QBs? As soon as the Titans drafted Ward I knew I was not going to give a fuck about football for another 3 years. I just hope they tnak again and Arch Manning enters the draft

This is gonna be a 12-0 win or some shit huh

>>151055168
Everyone wants the next Lamar

Thank God for this shitty Titans kicker

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>NFL kickers 2.0

>>151055168
There were no qbs worth drafting this past year

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Such a painful first half. It's only downhill from here though...

Neither of these teams deserves to win.

>>151054975
I hate that Richmond Arms got bought and then immediately was driven into the center of the earth. That used to be the best bar in the city

What do you think of my offensive scheme, bros?
>lineman do 180 following the snap
>psuedoblitz creates a wall that buys Stroud more time
>throw dragon to Collins while tits are confused
>TD

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>literally no red-zone trips for either teams
haha….

>>151055376
Bold but probably a better offensive scheme than Caley

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>6-0 at the 3rd quarter

Can Stroud please target Kirk?

>>151055797
too soon

Holy shit, Piggy Mowins AND Ross Tucker announcing? Is this the worst thing?

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>Texans crowd is booing the offense
good

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Has the shotgun pepe ever been more apt?

>>151055329
If only last week had resulted in a tie.

Texans might have the worst offense in the league

>>151055878
I think they literally do. Im pretty sure the graphic at the start of the game said they were dead last in offensive points scored.

What’s a td?

>>151055956
A miserable pile of secrets.

>>151055878
>>151055930
They have only scored 38 points so far, worst in the league

Teams should get fined for being this bad

Woody Marks has been a bright spot

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Man, 2023 feels like 23 years ago at this point.

My nigga Woody out here pancacking linebackers

>>151056010
As of right now, they've scored a total of 3TDs this season.

>Houston Holders

The only good play is run go routes?

>>151056181
2 of those were from a busted coverage, and a team letting the RB score. 1 legit score in 3 games

NICOOOO

>1st and 30
What the actual fuck.

>converting a 2nd and 33
Can we see more of that?

wow just keep doing that

>Snead

Did I just see that graphic correctly?
4 plays, 80 yards? But they've only moved 30 or so?

>>151056283
Reffies needed to have fun to, pls understand

>>151056239
Legit garbage offense.

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Think it’ll work?

The texans are going to run 1 more play this quarter.

Can we maybe not throw a checkdown for once?

>>151056389
We are better off running the ball and chewing clock all game so your defense can always have breaks.

Just give the damn ball to nico

>>151056445
Better 5 yard checkdowns than -2 yard runs.

>>151056445
I'll take checkdowns if it means lengthy enough drives to rest the D

Woody Marks tuddy!

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TOUCHDOWN!!!!!

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WE SCORED A REDZONE TOUCHDOWN HOLY SHIT

Oh my gosh a touchdown, they DO exist!

Did she just say first red zone score of the year? You kidding me?

>>151055172
maybe I was right

Why’s it say 12 at the bottom where it usually reads 0?

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NOOOOOOOO MY IMAGE

yay

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>THE MAN CALLED STING

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STING EM

My texies (:

>>151056882
Are you a /peedub/ bro like me?

Feel bad for Cam Ward.

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Bros I noticed that when I watch the games from this angle we usually do good so I'm staying here!

>>151056968
thank you spider man

>>151056968
>Placing the TV in front of a door
Based madman

>>151056916
Yep

>>151057021
Crazy how so many /peedubbers/ are also Texies but then again Texas is THE professional wrestling state.

Another Touchdown!

>2 touchdowns
We are so back.

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TOUCHDOWN x2

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TOUCHDOWN AGAIN
WHAT TEAM IS THIS

Texie bros. We're so back

>Finally utilize Higgins
>score

TWO tuddies back to back? Is this real life?

Can we play the tits every week?

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I never doubted
>inb4 “it’s just the Titans”
let me have this please

>>151057213
I think CJ just gets super nervous for every game. He just needs to find that confidence and we'll be a top tier team.

>>151057309
We play the Ravens next week so yeah

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>move em back
>move em up
reffies putting in the work

>>151057213
but we had beaten the damn jags 7 times in a row before last week

>>151057349
At least it's a home game so we have a shot.

I need this shutout bros

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>>151057465
>you will now remember the Christmas game from last year

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Hey South bros. Just checking in.

>>151057463
Look boss, the football gods saw fit that we had to pay comeuppance for the Lawrence hit from last year. As long as we beat them at home everything will be copacetic.

>>151057517
Hey its the Vaguars

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>>151057517
Hey jagsbro, this game is almost as horrific as our game from last week

HOLY SHIT WOODY MARKS BABY

I LOVE WOODY MARKS

Kek converting a 3rd and 17

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TOUCHDOWN x3!!!!

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kek i'll take it
let's fuckin' go

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I HAVE A WOOOOODY

W O O D Y
M
A
R
K
S

>>151057512
Yeah but remember that was the 2nd game in a 10-day period. I'm honestly under the impression that the league did that on purpose to keep our Texies out if the 'offs.

lol tox

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>literally only rookies have scored a touchdown today
>play players you drafted
>scores
crazy how that works huh Nick

>>151057563
Oh wow have the Titans had 6 drops lol?

>>151057746
The first half was a thing of beauty.

Friendly reminder that we shutout the Tits on 11/28/10. Hopefully we can do it again.

Lamar Jackson looks likena foot fungus monster

>>151057711
You’d think they’d try something different eventually and they finally do 4 weeks in

>>151057801
shut up cbs crew

>playing the pornographic video song

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>chubb
>woody
>both our RBs are stages of an erection

man I love that nepalese buffet right beside space center houston

>>151058018
im all about thai boat noodles brah gotta take a break from a bajillion bowls of pho

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>>151057995

GOOSE EGGED THOSE TITS

anyone have a good AMP location?

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ggs Titsbros
We won a game texiebros we finally did it!

>the only team the texans have ever shutout are the titans
grim

Thanks for the comfy thread bros. Good to see a shutout. See y'all next week for a tough one

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2nd shutout over the Tits! That makes up for the past 3 shitty weeks.

>play the players you drafted
>score
Absolutely revolutionary playcalling strategy here

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>>151058156
Next week will be a real test. Hopefully the D will have Lamar running for his life.

Glad for the W, but no hope against the Ravens. They consistently destroy Houston.

>tannessee tits

>>151058153
What? Our first shutout was against the Jags. I remember that specifically. I think Robaire Smith even had a sack in that game.

>>151051645
they are both busts, Cam Ward is just worse

>>151058397
Worst D in the league versus the Worst O in the league. Who wins?