Please join me in watching the Houston Texans take on the Las Vegas Raiders. If you live in America, you're probably watching Steelies at Loins, but if you're in Texas, Southern Nevada, or Jacksonville, you're stuck with us. Maximum comfiness engaged because no sane man would watch this.Texies cannot clinch today but are currently standing at 96% chance of playoffs according to NFL. Kickoff in 30 bings (half bong)
>>152611121also, currently watching qb primate suck yet again. many lulz have been had watching with my dad. post what you're sipping on for this affront to God Himself
>>152611121Im watching Jaguars @ Broncos with Brady commentating. Go Kittys!
>>152611193based out of stater
Based texans op
Not televised in my area sorry OP
The raiders are gonna find a way to beat the giants and chiefs
If the D even allows over 16 pts it's a spiritual L
Will this thread get over 100 posts though
>>152611993Texies fans usually show up. I don't even know if there's Raidurrs fans on /espee/ these days
>>152611456>>152611293Currently in Michigan. It's very cold
>>152612092We’re here. We’re just hoping they lose out for a better draft pick
>>152611850can't believe the texans lost that gameactually yes i can
Why does he pronounce it Bull-Lock? That really grinds my gears.
>>152612092I'm here, just busy shitposting on /tv/ because the actor who played Ray in generation kill an hero'd
>>152612231I heard about that, so weird that famous people are dropping like flies.
been waiting all day and I still missed the threadHello friends.This game seems like the normal.
Oh look CJ overthrowing a receiver, how surprising.
>texies punting on their first driveIt's ogre
Hey TexiebrosTime to hopefully not fall into the trapgame that is the Raaaders
We're going to fuck up and win this game, aren't we. I already see it now>miss out on Mendoza>Mark and Tom bring in washed Belichick >waste two more seasons
WellNICE STING
CLASSIC GENOCIDE
STING EM TUDDY
So how does tailgating work? Can you just go up to a random table and grab food? Is it all just private parties? Do a lny if them sell their grub?
My texies (:
HE'S THE MAN CALLED STINGhttps://youtu.be/O9hw-NDnft8?si=6dzjI91zH7fPLTbe
>>152612373I sincerely hope this nigga is trolling
IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIING
>>152612331Yeah about that....
>>152612331No. It’s the giants and chiefs to worry about. Chiefs got raped by the tits today
>>152612445Do any of my texie bros have a slab?
>>152612462return it
Wtf the reffies are MY reffies now?!
They're unironically might be more people cheering for the refs than the raiders in this stadium
>>152612483What's your offer
Reminder that the raiders are paying geno 35 million per year
This stadium is bad juju and cj is gonna have like 100 yards total
>>152612626It's impressive after the absolute disaster that was letting McDaniels have total control, Mark saw senile Pete and said "Do it again."
Uhhh ceejay? Time to tighten up the passes there big dog
So can CJ maybe not overthrow a motherfucker?
Broncos just tied the game against the Jags so that’s cool
>>152612651They have to clean house after this season right? Carroll was brought in as a culture setter but the culture is completely rotten.
I've seen enough get long neck in the game
More like, CJ Plowed
>>152612651Brady wanted Vrabel after Ben Johnson went to Chicago. But Mark said he didn’t want anymore patriot coaches
Mills would've gotten at least 2 FGs by now.
>>152612678Yes they have to. It’s a bad look because the coach carousel continues but nepotism is in the builidng
>>152612678100% Carroll has bought in all his cronies (including geno and his incompetent son) and theyre all absolutely terrible. The entire org has to be scrubbed clean
Weak ass flag
>>152612734I have no idea how nobody in the front office when Pete hired BOTH his fucking sons as coaches
Why, he played the ball the whole way
>>152612792my thoughts tooBut it was already punted
Refball against both teams so far. My reffies making themselves known as the superior 3rd team.
Hey Ceej, maybe run for a first down or 2 if the pass isn't there.
texans offense back to looking like the texans offense.
Texans offense is ass
So the offense is back to Week 1 can't do jack shit form. Great.
Just wait till the 4th quarter, we'll be fine guys.
Oh no, the Jekyll & Hyde offense is back
Lot of punts in this game bros
This has been one long ass 1st quarter
FUCK! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER TEXANS!
>giving the ball to the rookie instead of one of Pete's butt buddies Someone's going to get yelled at by grandpa
I'm just gonna say it, Lynn Redden had a point. Texans need to reevaluate the offense with his idea.
THE TANK STOPS
this is embarrassing, again
>just throw it to Brock BowersDid Chip Kelly really not understand this?
It's so over, texie bros
FUCKING BETTER DO SOMETHING CJ YOU FUCK
The raiders get a better draft position, and the Texans playoff chances increaseIt’s not that hard
>>152611121I’m in Texas and I’ve not got this game what the fuck is going on? We don’t care about the Loins down here.
Who tf is Nikki Glaser and why do I want to kill her?
>texans offense shutting the bed>defense getting beat by gaydersWe’re gonna be a first round exit again if we even make it to the playoffs aren’t we?
>>152613135>we
>>152613115Apparently if you're in a huge Cowboy market you won't get Texie games.
>>152611121Wtf why isn't this on cbs? Stuck with the loins and shitsburgh
>>152613115DFW hates my texies for some reason
>>152613147I’m from north Texas and I get both
>>152613125She's the current prettiest lady comedian
>>152613170I haven't heard someone call Oklahoma that in a while
>>152613173>lady>comedian I don't get it
this jordan cat is p.good
Mills >StrAss
>>152613146Hi, Stroud here I’m not playing good cause I’m shitposting on spee. God bless.
>>152613184that's literally the joke
Pineapple x1
PINEAPPLE MANX1
How did Pete use 2 timeouts in the 1 quarter lol what an idiot
Meco won't bench a fellow black man so we're stuck with Coleridge until he gets heemed
>>152613234I am so sick of the elderly (who isn't my grandma)
>no sacks against this OLineThe fuck are you guys doing?
how did the eagles play this team better than us? this is sad
>>152613290one is coming right now
>>152613309Playing at home has always been a curse for HOU
>pitch in short yardage situationSend Pete to a home immediately, he thinks it's 1960 again
spread was 14.5
I think Nico rung his bell on that catch. Amazed they didn't take him to the tent.
>>152613471I hope Pete fucks over Dave Portgoy again
>>152613115
>>152613518fun fact: Tony Romo received the sports journalist award for falling star
>>152613572what is it with announcers being raging alcoholics
>>152613613Maybe talking to millions of people every week does something to a nigga
the spaghetti is strong in this one
>>152613676nah they just gay
CJ literally can't even throw the ball properly. It's the 3pm game. It's dumb.
toxin fag but that was a catch and fumble
Pineapple x2
>needing refs to bail US out against the raidersWe’re fucked
PINEAPPLE x2
Man, NRG sho looks different during dusk
>>152613755my reffies securing >our tank :)
>>152613722>badly trying to impersonate a texiebroliterally none of us call our team the toxins
I prefer my texans playing at 3pm instead of at 12:00
>>152613798sorry 8-8, happy?no u say texie which means you're 2020 or nuer
>>152613801nah, 3pm is naptime
>>152613798Based texiebro sniffing out the sleeper agents>>152613801I do not.
>>152613833>still not julia morales
>>152613818NTA but my texie bros and I have worked hard to change the terminology
watching CJ air it out there just makes me miss Tank :(
>>152613848My nigga why don't (You) post Julia Fucking Morales?
>>152613936don't know how to on my phone
SCHN+ is finally a thing, took long enough
>>152614004>still costs $50/monthno thanks
Mills > CJ
>>152614113Mills > eye testCJ > statsI haven't delved deeper into their scenarios/splits on football reference though to know if it's just stat padding
>>152614113Cool it with the antisemitic remarks
>>152614004Yeah I'm not paying for that
>>152614113my neck
>>152614209Superior field vision.
>>152614209Procreation must feel nice.
Wouldn't be a Texie game without a flag on the o-line
they're making every stadium have that black stuff in the turf by 2027 so they can see toe drags
Hurry up and start playing well, offense.
When the fuck did you fags make the switch from toxins to texxies? I’ve been using toxins for the longest and I’ve been on this shithole since the beginning. Why didn’t I get the memo?
good tight ends eat the texans alive
>>152614522that's on to'oto'o
If we lose this then trade Stroud
>>152614488same, stint of 8-8 but after that 2012 collapse, back to toxins
>>152614488You probably fucked off during the David Culley season. Some of us did not.
the fuck happened there
Pitre and his bobblehead looking ahh
now this is toxins football
#1 defense btw
Fuck you texans. You were supposed to win
It's so over texie bros
>>152614594I mean, that play finally put him over 100 yards and they still haven't allowed more than 20 points
Hopefully that lights a fire under CJ's ass
Oh look, the trap game was a trap gamewhat the fuck is this performance?
texansbros what the FUCK
>>152614488Have you just not been in the threads lately? I've been the OP for years and I've been saying texies
>>152614562Been here every year but thanks to my job I do miss a lot of game threads cause I’m usually sleeping cause I’m night shift.
>>152614710You jinxed it
The D is overworked because CJ can't keep the offense on the field.
>>152614732I’ve seen y’all using texxies but haven’t seen this stuff about not wanting to use toxins anymore
>>152611121Had guests over and wasnt paying attention, why the fuck are the raiders ahead?
>>152614801We're choking, same as always
>>152614801Basically what >>152614758 said. The offense has been terrible
The Toxins went from the hipster pick to win the Owl because of "muh #1 defense" and "defense wins championships" to losing as 14.5 pt favorites against the worst team in the NFL.lollmaorofl
>>152614785I mean why would Houston fans want to call themselves something so negative. The other 31 fan bases can call us that but obviously we want a positive name for ourselves.
>>152614801Raiders are now in their final form where they suck all year but then win a meaningless dumb game to fuck their draft position. The true tell of a shit franchise
>>152614821>>152614831WTF!!! Im wine drunk so I wont over think it right now
>>152614852zoomer positivity sickens me
>>152614892>>152614852I just like how texies sounds so I say it
>>152614885Is there a difference between getting drunk from wine and getting drunk from other alcoholic beverages?
Yeah we're going 9-8, missing playoffs, and them make 0 changes to the offseason.
>>152614852The self deprecating was pretty funny, I don’t mind using both I guess.
>>152614871One year playing madden in season mode I lost to the raiders as the Texans, same day their owner Davis died, went to a friends house later that day to watch the raiders beat the Texans irl...
>>152614892I reckon I'm the oldest dude in this thread, my guy.
>>152614951do you play in big head mode like Pitre?
>>152614962We're all pretty old, I figure.
>>152614934Yes, at least I think so
Pitre is a BOSS
>>15261496236 here, 37 in February
What a shitter
>>152614962I'm 42
>>152614951I remember that game. My feed got interrupted due to a weather alert, I think there was a tornado warning in effect. By the time the game came back, the Raiders were celebrating.
>>152614967Hahahaha I remember that mode, nah it was when they stop adding all that, whatever year Al Davis died.
>>152615005Well shit, I was wrong. 37 here.
>>152615000checked>black QBs
>>152615037I haven't played a football game since NFL2k5
>>152614999cool, same for me in march.
I want one of these red Texans jerseys but every time I get one something bad happens.>fosterGoes vegan and then becomes shit>hopkinsGets traded>watsonTurns into diddy
Can't believe I'm saying this, but the Jags look like the best team in the AFC
Is Gene Sterratore a made man like Tirico?
>>152615060There was a group of people who implemented updated rosters and all that but it was kind of a chore to get set up. Got to play as CJ Stroud on ESPN 2k5
>>152615077don't be fooled, the broncos are just shit. I've been watching the game and there hasn't been a defender within 5 yards of any of the passes
Pineapple man will win this game for usX3
>>152615064>veganthat season was full of memes, with the letterman jackets and the 12-1 start
Pineapple x3
>>152615083hey pal that's profilin and anti-italian discrimination
>>152615120my favorite is your x5
Stop promoting your Hebrew decadence show. Shan't be watching.
My Texies D needs to wake this fucking kot up
why is to'o to'o playing spy against fucking Geno Smith? cover the tailback my dude
danielle has been quiet today
Man, if we had an actual offense we'd be up by 40 right about now
Whoa the reffies have finally turned on the Raidurrs
>>152615247do you think Klein Kubiak is doing anything?
yes. save us reffies.
Vegas O-line showed up today that's for sure
>refs trying to save both the toxins and the gaydersBased
>>152615327The Carrolls now they’re done. They’re trying to fuck up the tank
what is the toxins longest play of the day? it seems maybe that Nico catch but that was only like 20 yards
CAM ON CEEJAYTHROW SUM FACKIN TUDDIES
>>152615455okay, maybe that play is the longest now
it's a shame crosby is going to waste his career on this team. 1 year on an elite defense and he would win DPotY and maybe even MVP
>>152615537I think there is something to be said to those that stay loyal
Crosby knows the Texans snap count or something. He looks offsides on every play but he's just jumping it perfectly.
>>152615537I thought the salary cap meant every team has a chance? Are you telling me only the same 6-8 teams win all the time just like soccer?
SAVE US REFFIES
4th down and the Texans have an offense suddenly.Also Crosby is literally the only player on the Raiders defense.
god we needed that so badly
TOUCHDOWN TEXIESfinally
>>152615607Yes, unironically
>>152615650>downQuarter. I'm fucking retarded.
That's game. Even if the Raiders score it's still a 2 possession game.
>>152615607premier league soccer is such a joke, I don't get how anyone could root for a team if you know the best they can accomplish is "improve next year". Only 4 teams can even compete for the championship at the start of the season
>>152615688>Only 4 teams can even compete for the championship at the start of the seasonBy rule?
btw chikaner is having a meltdown in the jags gamethread
>>152615702Gotta love our Texies ya just gotta!
My prime stream is really far behind, literally saw the td on Xwitter before it popped up on the stream like 30 seconds later. I wish my antenna actually picked shit up all the way out here in Hockley.
>>152615688It's even worse in Portugal. There are only three teams that can win and a fourth that does respectable. The rest are irrelevant
>>152615716>34-20oh kek
>>152615716>btw chikaner
Unfortch the Jaguars are winning the division now.
>>152615715yes, there are 4 teams in the top league, 2 play for the championship and 2 get relegated to the lower level or some bullshitif you're in tier 2, you can't compete for the championship, you can only compete for promotion
>>152615732I'm watching on paramount plusdon't worry, once all those fucking houses get built you'll have karens complaining about not getting service. you are about to get flooded with bullshit stores all over the placeI miss when hockley was a place to go to a drive in movie since it was pitch black outside, now it's just more sprawl
Hunter literally trying to fly.
just let him roll to a first down again lassiter, come on dude
fucking retard defense
>>152615754I knew soccer was gay, but now I see just how gay it really is
>>152615783Dude thinks he's Superman
what the actual fuck dude lol
Why can’t the Texans tackle this bum
rip 20 point streak
Well shit
>quarterblacks Geno has been playing QB what feels like 20 years and he is still a monumental knuckle head. How the fuck do you run out of bounds there
That’s the 2nd touchdown missed tackle by Miles Bryant, holy fuck what a shit player
>snap fumbleOh we are going to lose thisGoddamit.
>21 pts allowed
Whete the fuck is Mills,
>>152615851>broncucks allowed 34 points>rams allowed 38still will be after this week
>>152615895How dirty back nails are, this is gross
God I love letting the fucking raiders make it competitive at goddamn home the first year we've had real playoff aspirations in a long time. Fucking awesome. Everyone here at the stadium is fucking pissed btw can't believe I pay 4k a year for tickets to this shitshow.
>run on 2nd and 21 while trying to win the game???????
thanks refs? but that was uncatchable
Damn, the reffies do not want Vegas to win this game
>>152615936Honestly if it wasnt for my friend pulling my arm and leg to go, I find watching at home a MUCH better experience than being in person
HE CANT CATCH THAT SHITHOW IS THAT PI
>>152615960vegas already won, people bet the cover
>>152615936YOU WENT TO THE GAME? NO WONDER WE'RE STRUGGLING
pete carroll is gonna have a heart attack when the season is already in the toilet for them
>>152615936I went to the Texies-Raiders Wildcard game in 2016. Had Carr not gone down earlier in the season, we lose that game for sure. Instead, it was a Clowney clinic.
Can’t believe >we need this much ref help to beat the worst team in the league. Honestly appalled with this shit.
>>152615936Any time any of us go to the game, the team does badly
>>152616087really? you can't believe it? we lost to the fucking titans this year
>>152615968It's nice going to the games plus I usually make some money back selling tickets to shit games. But goddamn is it frustrating when they shit the bed like this. >>152615996Eat my ass nigger I stayed for the whole jags game we came back on.
1st down wins the game now
>>152616095I went last week and we won and my yard flag got replaced the day we started our winning streak
>>152616105No we didn't. We lost to the jags for the only division loss, retard.
>lost both tackles against the goddamn raidersI'm loading my shotgun this postseason. I can already feel it.
>>152616144I'm pretty drunk, I thought we lost that field goal kicking contest
I’m starting to think the fags might win the Owl this year. Gonna be a long offseason if they do.
All Texans who are not loyal Cowboys fans are going straight to hell when they die.
>>152616223>All Texans who are not loyal Cowboys fans are going straight to hell when they die.I doubt its as hot as they say
Pay Nico whatever the fuck he asks for
>>152616206the broncos are frauds
That was a clear catch and fucking awesome and ballsy.
>>152616223cowboy fags all live in oklahoma
Elbow is down my niggz,GGs
NICOOOOOOOOSAVE ME
>>152616268not anymorethey've been so shit they're losing ground hopefully they drop the Americas team tag soon
>>152616257he was pre-emptivly paid last off season on a very team friendly deal
>>152616223The cowboys have not been relevant since I was a baby and I enjoy watching them lose
GAME!!!!!!!!!!
>>152616295astros are america's team
>>152616314God is going to strike you down, traitor
Texans win!!ggs Raiders
Tank secured! Pleasure doing business with you Houston
I was holding my breath, but we'll take the win despite how ugly it was
Nailbiter for sure but we got the W Texie bros!See yall this Saturday, hopefully LAC goes full Chorger mode
Can’t even be happy with this “win”
>>152616365I like how the top left one is like peeking in. thanks pareidolia
raiders are a scrappy team and pete carroll is still a good hc
>>152616391Never be unhappy with a win. It's always better than the alternatives. Except the really odd tie which is fucking funny as shit.
>>152616391I'm okay with it, I kind of wish we didn't choke the bucs and broncs game this year
Thanks for the comfy thread bros. See y'all on Saturday for the chargers and hopefully we can clinch!
>>152616451>>152616386shit, what time? 3pm?
>>152616451And thanks to the raiders fans for being comfy with us. Many other fan bases this year have not been comfy, so it's appreciated
Faguars raped the bunkos and sent one of their players to the hospital, we're not making the post season. Ggs.
>>1526164703:30pm CST
>>152616470330
>>152616451Aggies are dead so I have nothing else, ill be there
>>152616451oh shit it's saturday?Dammit
>>152616493>>152616497boo!!!!
Would be really fucking funny if the AFC Championship came down to HOU vs JAX
>>152616485So far this season the Clots and the Ratbirds were equally insufferable in our comfy gamethreads
>>152616506Imagine being a faggie when you could have been a longhorn lol apply yourself at school bro
>>152616223real texans fans are happy that the titans ruined their draft pick today
>>152616652Ravens were the worst I think. Couldn't take a loss like normal human beingsAlso kek the lions
>>152616899I actually withdrew from UT to go to Ass to Mouth, to my eternal regret.
>>152618386At least you didn't make the ultimate life mistake like me and choose Baylor law
>>152616223Fuck the cowgirls
As an outsider texies fans - I went to Meatchicken - I think both UT and A&M are good schools
