Men's 1500mhttps://www.olympics.com/en/milano-cortina-2026/results/ssk/st/m/1500m-------------/fnl-/000100--/race-result
*stomps into the thread*
>>153544371last.
commentary said this is the blue riband distance where the sprinters and endurance skaters compete
>Dutchies talking about speedskating while cyclingMust be their idea of heaven
speedskater enjoyer with names to watchFavorite: Stolz. Just him, he has like a 99% chance to win thisOther names to watch: Nuis, Ning, Kongshaug, Sonnekalb
>>153544490forgot Wennemars, oops
>>153544490Is speed really stored in the buttocks? Why don't the other ones just subsist on a diet of Jimmy John's and cheese curds?
what about mass start?
cute pole in the crowd
>>153544508truuuuuu
>>153544508all mass starts are on saturday
>>153544508saturday
>>153544508ass start
:3
>Looking forward to mountaineering >it sucked>Speed skating has been surprisingly kinoI'm okay with this.
>>153544531kek lmao
hello
When is the dog going to appear?
Settle down, Dutch fans.
>>153544540heyyy :)
I wish they did heats then 1v1s it would be kino
>>153544543No live dogs in this event, China is competing
it looks like a lesuirely skate on the lake until you realise they're goin over 50 clicks
>pair 1 of 15
>>153544569takagi medaled from an early pair
Eestibros...
>>153544558they were doing that kind of speed in the short track yesterday too
>>153544558you can't skate wildly on a 1500, 100+ seconds of effort is too long
CAM ON JAPAN CRUSH THAT FACKIN LEAF
>>153544533She’s going to get the whee stuck in the tram tracks, fall and DIE
god damn we are so fucking good at every thing
wow Hall looked effortless out there. will it be fast enough though?
>>153544635especially cheating
cam on edwin, block some facking goals
>>153544656seethe, sissy.
is it just fastest time of these 15 pairs or will they race again?
>>153544675i made this meme :)
shant be cheering for the jew
>>153544656never happened
>>153544504>cheese curdsWhat part of Wisconsin are you from?
LET'S GO CANADA
>>153544699we have more than one
>>153544707Piggly Wiggly
>the call him the king of racistsholy based
>>153544696this is it. each time is their final time
>>153544699>>153544718every american is jewish or at least part jewish.
The fact that you only get 1 run is so lame.Should do top 12 cut off, and everyone gets a second run.
MOGGED that yank
>>153544725oic. I thought that leaf Daniel Hall was leisurely conserving energy to race again, not what I expected a final effort to look like.
There will be a Zamboni break after the 8th pair
>>153544735Everyone is stuffed after the first run. Would need to be another day.But yeah, long track is awful.>Event starts>5 minutes of track time>20 minutes resurfacing>5 minutes of track time>Event is over.
KURWAURWA
that burger kwab chose not to do 10k to prepare for this LOL
>>153544781was mostly for the team pursuit I think, which they lost to italy
>hey this could be interesting>look up pairs>stolz and eitremyeah everyone else is competing for bronze
sneed
>alexander farthofer>gabriel odorwhy are austrian speedskaters so stinky?
>farthufferare you fr?
>Austrian named Fart Huffer.Can't make this shit up
fart huffer
>Farthoferkek
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
Do you think Speed Skaters look down on Short Track Skaters?
>farthuffer
>farthoffer>gasserwhy are austrians named like this
>>153544863Why?Short Track is more interesting and metal.
>>153544872fetish
>>153544884they're slower and its less pure
Fuck
tomorrow is the womens 1500, should be a good battle between takagi kok and rijpma-de jong
>>153544872Austrians are some of the most sarcastic people in the world
>>153544905jutta doesn't do 1500m?
Italy will use the break to turn on the magnets. They have a guy in pair 11.
>>153544936tempo di attivare i magneti.
>>153544920no, she has done some in the past but she's not as good at it as femke so she failed to qualify
why dont they use zamobonis?
>>153544994they do
I lost the stream, who won ? The pole ?
let's just hope Stolec is going to poop himself
>>153545001there's an ice rigging break right nowanother half of runners left
>>153544998then whats this?>>153544974
>>153544974clean it up janny!
>>153545021I wish he wins, no arms needed.
>Carlton Kirby talking about Stolz talking about PogacarNot the crossover I expected to see today
>Tubular Bells dance music
>>153545077tour de france fans hate his commentary apparently. I've only ever heard him do speed skating.
>pencil arms giant legsspeed-skater physiques are so fucking retarded
>>153545083I love Tubular Bells
>it's another episode of polish skater having to race completely alone because he's against some shitter while his rivals race against contendersso tiresome
reminds me of that scary movie
>>153544628I've done that before but that was with 30mm tires, I assume a city bike like that has some thick bitches on there.
>>153545107probably just a loud minority, him and Sean Kelly (Irish former pro cyclist) talking absolute shite is one of the best parts of watching the TdF for me, every stage is like 5 hours long so there's a lot of dead air to talk over and they do it well
they should have thermal cameras to show this so called vortex commentary always talks about
>wennemars vs. italian magnet holderguy can't catch a break
>>153545129not the women, thoughever
>Min-Seok KimA true cut of Hungarian cloth
what's with all the Asians representing Hungary of all places?
it's so over
>ice resurfaced>-2.0
why are koreans so good at this one specific thing
why are speed skating hungarians all korean
>>153545129The bike racers are even weirder
they're not even hiding the rig, huh?
>>153545241orban is a crypto-HAPA nationalist
>>153545261This and archery are their true calling.
>Hungarian speed skater>Is KoreanHoly Ngubu Batman.
>>153545241Korean sports federation have an uncanny ability to fuck over their prime athletesThis guy has a drunk driving incident which was bad but the federation perma banned him so he had to either quit his career or go to another country
>>153545252only absolute shitters are relegated to the first pairs
>>153545241pan Asianism
>>153545241>>153545264They buy short track skaters from Korea because it's one of the only winter sports Hungary is good at. Either they're buying long track skaters now too or these are short track rejects.
>>153545284they run a tight ship in korea. i respect it.
>>153545284thats a good reason to ban someone ngl. a lot better than the figure skater that got banned for kissing her highschool boyfriend
Euroniggers love bashing nascar then making a ton of sports time trial nascar. this is so boring only a loser would do this
> However, Kim's career hit a snag in August 2022, when he was slapped with a lengthy suspension following a drunk driving accident inside the national team training center.>The Korea Skating Union suspended him for 18 months. Separately, a court ordered Kim to pay a fine of 4 million won (US$2,900) in May 2023, which led the Korean Sport & Olympic Committee to ban him from the national team selection for two years.
>>153545302this, so much thiswhere the fuck are the ads???????
>The Hungarian National Skating Association recently announced that Kim, 25, will now be called Oliver while representing the European country
>>153545298koreans are unhinged. If you you are a famous actor and get busted for something like smoking cannabis you will be bullied by crazy "fans" until you commit suicide. Even minor infractions can get you banned permanently. Unless you have connections, or money ofc. In which case you can get away with pretty much anything
nah, fuck that shitthe ice is completely different nowrigged garbage
>smugok he's gonna lose
>>153545340no wonder presbyterian took off there
What does "mars" mean in a Dutch surname?
wtf kind of name is Joeptoo many joes?
>>153545340Chaebol culture is pretty fucked
>>153544371CAMON JOEP
>new ORkino
damn an OR
love listening to the Dutch commentators orgasmic isn't an exaggeration
JOEPOEPgod he deserves a medal so badly
>ice resurfaced>new olympic record, nobody has ever skated this fast at the olympics ever>italy .3 behind
JOEPIE
they didn't turn on ice cooler for the first half
>>153545425stolz WR coming
ICE MELTING, ACTIVATE
>>153545417ik ook
lol Stolz gonna do 1.41 at worst
>>153545420>he's right behind me isnt he
>>153545462kek
Why is everyone in here being so nice to Stolz? This isn't normal.
>>153545455mijn neger
is snel snel?
>snel>is schnellwho writes this shit
>snel>is fastwhat went wrong with this language
>>153545495niet snel genoeg
>>153545480he's fast
>>153545421why? dont know him at all btw
te snel
>snel>isn't snel
>>153545514i love this mickey mouse language
>>153545516Aren't you supposed to tell me it's over or whatever? I don't know what it's like to believe.
SCHNELL, SNELL!!!
>>153545480Because he is nice and good
>snel>is niet zo heel erg snelwat bedoelde hij hiermee?
>>153545365Please respond
>>153545530settle-a down-a ok-a
snel more like snail
>snel means "quick" in Dutch>fails to skate the fastest
Not schnell, wat nou?
>>153545530lel
>>153545365mars the planetmars the godmars the candy baror mars (to march)
>>153545537>what be do hermoinewhat the FUCK does any of this mean
COWBOY
I hooked up with an Argentinian girl with the last name Schnell. I only realized she was probably a Nazi descendant after she left. That was a fumble.
>>153545575Howdy partner
>60kmh on the chinamensanic
>>153545421>>153545520He skated into the skater in front of him. Dutchies are pretending he was robbed.He was super angry, so probably took a fresh cycle of roids for this event.
>22damn
they're 5km/h faster than the earlier shitter groups
>>153545590They are chinese km's so only 800 m
>>153545540march probablyor just marsmight've come here from france
JMINGZ
i'd like to see them do that on the before zamboning
SPEEDY CHINK
stolzbros....
they finally fixed the ice huh
>wanted Ning because he's fast but can beat him>gets beat by NingKWABOTY comment by Nuis
NO MEDAL FOR JOEP LMAOKEKED HARD
imagine being the olympic record holder for 4 minutes
>gets olympic record>loses it twice over 9 minutes later
Another win for socialism
OLYMPIC RECORDS EVERYWHERE
It's over.
Slant-Ice sure is quick
>only sport the netherlands cares about>gets mogged by a CCP bugman
china has SOVL i cant lie.
>>153545620>>153545624I mean you still had the record
they are gonna be 4th and 5th!
Another win for juicing
>>153545643ok chink
Asthma with Chinese characteristics
>I want someone fast so I have a steal, but that I can beat> . . .>Get blasted awaykek @ netherlands
>ice resurfaced>half of the runs are now olympic record tierepic
This sport is lewd af. You can see their penises.
sonnekwab
Add it to the "on the phone" screenshots
gross he ruined the ice with his saliva
>wearing your penis updo norwegians really?
>>153545663what if they're just sock stuffing
i don't understand the false starts
>finnchrist
the Norway suit looks villainous
>>153545658i mean, you are the ones who invented this "sport"
>>153545653uh oh lil doorgle shnurgle is getting pissy wissy!!!
>>153545677I tie it around my waist
>>153545677intimidation tactic
>>153545365mars in surnames will most likely be topographical as in , marshlands, swamp lands >my surname has kinda the same meaning but with a Van
>>153545673>you have to skate faster than the current leader yes i am your coach no i won't walk over where you're standing
>Norwaykwab
>>153545695ok pajeet
>slowkalb>slowtrem
i wasn't expecting eitrem to be ded. the chinaman will medal
+3 seconds why are they eve running
>sonnekwabwhy did shitters go second to last?
>>153545420and you guys have the nerve to call figure skating the gayest sport?
>>153545711Eitrem is a bit ill, he already was during his last individual race
>be norwegian>think about that massive olympic village orgy last night>get a little chubby>false start>kwabotylol
HERE COME THE CHAMP
magnets turned off
god his cake is crazy
what's after the final pairing? quarterfinals?
Cute young Kok!
>>153545734try not to lust too hard
OH NONONONONONO its slipping away
>5thstolz is washed too much village sex
whycome the american suit shimmers so much
what the fuck hes slow
THE ICE IS MELTING
OH NO
the american century of humiliation continues
stupid ninger
based american
burgerbros...
>Shitz
>Amerisilvers
KWAB
>many runs since the ice has been resurfaced>even the goat is slowno medal for joep lol the real kwab desu
Stolz more like strolls why is he slow
>>153545641you were saying?
Classic amerisilver
>completely pulls up>still comes in second
china doesn't medal for 2 weeks now they have 3
americhokes on ice
>>153545763that ice skating chick must have destroyed him
stlolz
Nothing sus about a chink suddenly skating best of his career in the Olympics lol
>riggie ice everyone breaking records>The "Champ" KWABsexplain?
china number 1. sorry pups.
Wennemars has to have an eternal hatred of the Chinamen now. Fucked his medal twice over lol
>>153545421
Have they been tested for doping? the chinaman is super sus
>>153545807chinks paid
>He is from Wisconsin So Canada gets another medal?
silver on the gang banged used goods ice, we'll take it
>>153545807the eternal italian strikes again
>bulge>shirtless guywtf this is the gay sport? i was watching hockey for no reason
>>153545807we turned the magnets on again
>>153545796GB upset that China just passed them in medals
>NBC showing forced hype reel for Stoltz before the race while the Chinese guy was going>Chinese guy takes goldKWAB
>>153545817Staying ahead of the doping curve is expensive as shit, IOC ain't doing it to the degree required nor will they ever
>>153545828our ratio is better
>>153545830
>>153545790Surely yal got the silver at least right?
I see an amerimutt humiliation ritual, I have a good day.Simple as.
>>153545824>i'm ready to settle down
>>153545830So stupid, Stolz himself said Ning was his biggest competition
We never beat Stolz this olympics though. Only China dethroned him
>>153545836>muh ratio
>>153545851why would we be humiliated by second? a silver is almost a gold, it's a good result
cowardly race from strulz
>>153545796It will be 4 after women's half pipe <3
>>153545830>watching nbcKEEEEEEEEEEK
That sucks for WennemarsAnyway, has nederlands even taken 1 male longtrack gold?
>wennemars cucked by a chink x2
What went wrong with German sneedskating?
Impressive.With this most recent achievement, fate has in a single stroke, marked the decline of the west and spelled a new era of wondrous prosperity and peaceful global dominance for the Chinese dragon, which promises to firmly stand in sharp contrast to the historically bloody ascent of western powers and the cruel subjugation it brought to the humbler nations of the world. With the blessings of Chinese quantum direct-current electricity, quantum aircraft carriers and quantum enhanced railguns will be the instruments with which China affirms its noble stewardship of 21st century world politics and offers the non-western world a different option; an humanist alternative to the depredations of Western leadership and the opportunity for a more equitable and dignified multilateralism.
>>153545871i can give her a full pipe
>arena dead silent
>Dutch commentary blaming the italian for Joep ending 4th because the italian is too slowOur commentary team is the true KWABOTY
>>153545872Don't worry I just have Gold Zone muted in the background while I watch the kino on CBC
>>153545889why is a Korean skating for Hungary
>>153545862Isn't the Netherlands a CCP satellite state in Europe? So you actually beat Stolz.
>>153545904because everyone knows
>>153545912CBC is cope central
>>153545817 He was like 3.2 seconds under his recent best. Lol definitely juiced
>>153545889Joep more like kwab
>>153545880nope, but it wasn't expected before the olympicsnot a single favorite in any event, although anything can happen on the mass start still
>>153545903She does half pipe just like her billionaire chink boyfriend gives her every night
>>153545889fixed
>>153545830Kek NBC is shit
>>153545924See >>153545292
yep, he won't be holding on to that medal for long
>>153545904Dutch crowd. They're the saltiest fucks to walk the earth.
reminder that ning has a dutch coach, so you're welcome china
>>153546002You didn't see how the Americans behaved during the Ryder Cup I'm guessing?
>>153546026Cope
australian crabby he couldn't do a land acknowledgement today probably
>>153545975>chink boyfriendhow delusional can you be, lol
>>1535449051500m gold is the last accomplishment she is missing from the olympicshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpD0mwHZ8rE
>>153546050They're literally a couple. Doesn't mean she isn't cucking him with every BWC at Stanford and the village though
>you will never hug Joy Beune after winning a mediocre bronze medalWhy even live
Did the king of the Netherlands show up to this one? Or just the ones they were expected to win?
>>153545996did you ever give that romanian gymnast that bronze you stole back
>>153546076>They're literally a couplesure thing buddythat's totally not a photo-op and totes real
>>153546084he's apologizing for something somewhere else probably
Wisconsin is not an actual US state. It is a Canadian province larping as a US state.
>>153545996>2030>here's your gold medal broHow long do drug tests take? Can't they just piss in a cup on their way into the rink and have this figured out by now?
>>153546087When they give Lance's titles back
>>153546084He's probably spending his hard earned tax monies somewhere.
We are so fucking ass what the fuck
>>1535460692018 and 22 she got cucked by Ireen Wüstwould be poetic if another dutch woman cucks her on her last olympic 1500
-Literally- nothing on now.Then figure skating, ice hockey, halfpipe and curling all on at once.
>>153546100You're coping now, not sure why. Are you just a seething racist faggot that's going to hate on a woman dating inside her own race?
>>153546146halfpipe is getting postponed again for sure
>Ning petrifiedHe wasn't expecting to place, but knows now he's going to get drug tested for sure.
There's no way this nigga believes that Eileen is the A side when the other side is a young billionaire? That chink can pull near anyone he wants
>>153546159Eileen Gu is white. This is her dating inside her race.
>>153545924why is a german skating for america?
>>153546183>Get a famous westernised woman who is worth hundreds of millions in her own rightShe's Jutta tier when it comes to the cameras, but has a lot going for her especially if you're worried about people trying to worm their way into your money.
>>153546183So why wouldn't he want Ailing?>beautiful>sexy>multimillonaire herself>genius level IQ >best skiier of all time at 22>world famous >talented>driven with total Mamba Mentality >bubbly and adorable personality
Please all of you obsessing over the sex others are having, have some for yourself
>>153546196>going to the pool with friends means they're dating LelShe's definitely the type of girl who doesn't fuck any chad meatheads she considers below her but enjoys them begging
>>153546216Can't find the worth hundreds of millions memesources has her around 50m>>153546240my point is he wants Aileen of course. That's why he got her (He's a billionaire). But don't think he's losing sleep if the relationship somehow doesn't last.
>>153546260they won't let me in the olympic village
>>153546268She's been making the $20-25m/per for a number of years. I didn't really factor in tax though.
>>153546310Yeah she's rich as fuck aint denying that. But billionaires are in a different realm
>>153546260we can't, we don't know how...
Oof, Joepie Kwabbemars is absolutely seething....
>>153546346He being interviewed or just stomping around in the background?
>>153545996They are not catching him. Dopers are way ahead of the a IOC
>>153546354interview and he's just really sad, calls these olympics a bad movie
>>153546346ik ook!
>>153546240>best skiier of all timeholy kek
>not short trackWon't watch. Call me when short track ks back
>>153546240>Genious IQHow?And btw she also seems moraly corrupt
>>153546140heads must roll at the KNSB, and not just Ritsma's
>>153545366It’s just the Dutch version of Joseph. Rhenish German dialects usually use Jupp, basically the same pronunciation
