DAN EDITION >Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/5/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread >>153807511
fuck aonishiki and fuck his fans
Looking forward to watching Aonishiki being the latest to choke away the rope. He'll be lucky to go 8-7 at this rate.
i don't care if churanoumi was technically down a tenth of a second before aonishiki, a real yokozuna aspirant should be able to handle a career 9-6erhe needs a few more years
>All the Dan haters' revelry is going to come back to haunt them later, why do they never learn. Celebrating Dan's few minor setbacks has always ended up blowing up in their faces
>>153830782Churanoumi is a massive chad, he has always been my favorite Kise combatant. Ura is mid and Kinbozo is a big doofus, the Kazakh Shishi
has aonishiki had more than 1 brawl yet in Osaka grand sumo?
>>153830827that pic is what you look like in irl
>>153830864Imagine the disappointment you'd feel after peeling those lil shorts down and a long girthy uncut cock with a pulsing purple head doesn't flop out.
i see aonishiki won first, lost 2nd and won 3rd. good start>>153830925she cute
>making a thread for a fucking LOSER
IT'S KUSANO'S BASHO!KUSANOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>153830864>>153830979She looks like she smells bad
Aonishiki won't drop another match and will win the basho with a 13-2 record.
>>153831091Absolutely delusional
>>153831100Explain why it's delusional.
>>153831133No.
>>153831212based
>>153831073
Dayum...Hosh got stuffed at the tachiai like a 14 year old boy at a Kevin Spacey house party.
>>153831373So thats how you lost your cherry huh
Kyoda sensei did better than I expected against asahifuji
>>153831403Reliving your youth are you anon, or just fantasizing?
>>153831518Ive never been to a kevin spacey party but you sound like you are intimately familiar
>>153831550>simping and seething over some pedo faggotSo you can't read like the rest of us. Got it.
>>153831550Sounds like you wish you had been, honestly.
>>153831403I once sucked a cherry out of a fat guys belly button while all my coworkers watched. Nothing gay about it
give me one reason to hate dan that's not rooted in racism
>>153832021jealous of his success and penis size
>>153832021The antidan fag is just a low IQ sperg. Ignore him.
Dan is one dimensional and has no stamina.
>>153832021manlet (under 6'2")
it would be cool to see Dan win this one but the important question is about Waka. will he recover this dogshit start?
>>153832021his fans are annoying
>>153831647>>153831657Why so sensitiveI was joking but now I think you might have actually gotten buttfucked after this reaction
>danfag having fun with his vpn again like we cant tellLol
No more (you)s for this antidaner. Just go back to xs you faggot. You say his name more than anyone
You dont realize how obvious you are because you are legitimately dumb. You are dumb as a fuckin thumb.
Dan is FINISHEDIt’s over.Make your peace and stop this embarrassing cope
>you are twice in a rowYikes
>>153824163Except there are four guys in Juryo who are 4-0 too? Sekitori doesn't mean Makuuchi lol.
>>153832075Worked for Takakeisho. And Onosato.
Hey guys i think it's finally time, i believe takayasu will win this basho
>>153832632If Fuji pulls it out today I think he's in with a real shot.
>>153832643You think papayasu would suck it if he pulled it out??
>>153832695He'd choke.
>>153832695Fujinokawa definitely has a 3 incher, thats why he fights so wild
Who has the biggest wiener in makuuchi?
>>153832747I've heard rumours that Ura has a fat chode.
>>153832747shishi, got that neanderthal dick
oh sick they got the japanese scatman to be gyoji
>>153832747Tamawashi for sure
Anything is better than a spic desu
NHK will start broadcasting Hakuho's fat girl sumo soon.
>beaner rageMust be quite terrible to look down and see shit colored skinCant imagine it lmao
hombre is having a melty
>Melty>wanting cultures to retain their qualities instead of being a part of the american jewish world order Hey alright>but muh hawaiierinoYou watch sports, you are at the bottom of the food chain, sports that are nothing but fucking niggers for the past 20 years.
>Literally no one mentioning Enho losing:/
>>153832902Isnt there a nearby cartel member you ought to be sucking off and defending with your life
>>153832884drink a coca cola and calm down
>>153832909Isn't there another country that you need to destabilize and then use AI to make propaganda after the Iran conflict ended. Too busy watching dudes asses?
lmao fat fuck thought he won
>>153832906These threads are continuing to become unusable, what do you expect.
>>153832923These threads were never good.
>>153832926I think we can safely blame Kinbozan for that.
Kotokuzan didn't wanna let go lmao
RIP TsurugishoEven if he makes it to the end of the basho he better retire while he still has 1 leg.>>153832926I never said good.
>>153832927Kek low IQ beaner.
Clay needs some love.
>>153832955evil spirits will get to the offering
Seihakuho has a really flat long nose, it's weird.
>>153832952why are you here, man? go sperg out about race on /pol/ or tw*tter
>>153832962He reminds me of Waka
>>153832902>Hey alrightalways knew aris viewers were mexicans
>5-0
Wonder if Tamashoho has ever been pushed that hard before in his life.
>>153832906Man, like three people actually watch the lower divisions and I used to be one of them. I dont have time for it anymore so now I only watch makuuchi.
>>153833009I'm only watching them because I'm on the early shift at work to forklift delivery in. Hell I oversleep Makuuchi and catch it on Natto half the time.
>>153832560>Worked for Takakeisho
>>153833005He is taking this juryo yusho
Sui~sui~
>sdTD100>Get promoted to juryo>Win the yusho>Shit the bed>Get dropped back to makushita>Bully your stablemate out>Struggle still in makushita>Now kyujoWhat the hell was his problem
>>153833102Probably back pain.
>>153830751mostly fuck his fans desu, the guy seems alrightit's the Fallon Sherrock phenomenon
sit down ryuden you fat bitch
>>153833137Not this time. My GOAT is coming back.
already at 5 kyujos in makuuchi. whats the record?
Let's go Ura get that fat stack of kensho
fujinokawa rapidly gaining fans
TAKAYASU I WANT TO BELIEVE AGAIN
SET ME FREETRUST ME AND WE CAN ESCAPE FROM THE CITY (OSAKA)
11-4... playoff.
stomp those spirits out horse
I hate evil spirts
>WOHOOOOO!
>>153833182I'm pretty sure that guy shouted "AONISHIKI" at horse during his ceremony. I'd be seething.
>>153833184Horse knows Aonishiki fans have no decorum. Why get mad about that.
> LIFE IS A SHISHIIIIIIIIIIII
>>153833182based drunk boomer jap ruining horsh dohyoiri
>Weeb Rap anime opening for the basho.Embarrassing
>>153833214how new r u
>>153833182Evil spirits are having a laugh at horse
the young generation dismisses the old
Even Toby's supporter bench looks tired.
Crowds getting rowdy
I’ll always support Asanoyama
>Ura-Tamawashifuck, man..
I really enjoy watching Go forward man fight.
let's go shishi
based shishi
Hang on, Abi broke his spine?
>>153833343Yeah, he'll be back next week.
Ura accidentally filled himself with helium before the match which is why he went fucking flying like that. What the fuck
>Tom won easily>Ura didn't even end up on his backDid someone replace both of these two with lookalikes?
>missed ura boutw-webm-kun?
>>153833360it was over instantly
>>153833360wasn't much to it, sadly
takanosho jobbing begins NOW
>>153833369
>>153833369>just push him lolIf only life were so simple.
>>153833369>slides backwards like animu character who just used their katana to block a giganigga monsters 700kg greatsword
>>153833399looks pretty cooked
>>153833394Hirohito's grandson is looking well.
>Its a TAKA yusho>...but Yasu or Nosho...?
>>153833399There's a lot of things I like about Jap culture but their food mostly all sucks. That looks ok I guess, but it's inferior to something like wiener schnitzel
>>153833414It's actually wakaTAKAkage
>>153833416I enjoy watching the Ramen show on NHK, that looks tasty.
Stood up, laid down.
Daieisho is the biggest bitch in sumo
>>153833427STFU Kotoshoho!
>>153833427No, anon. That would be (You)
Oho gets color every damn match
>>153833443Sybau nigger
>>153833458ikazuchido could be browsing this thread right now. cool it with the racism.
atami nooooo
atomic fatass removed
my dog, very nice
I'm calling Hurrydoumi on that one.
dawg poster must be happy
>>153833416just got back from a 9-day trip and I gotta disagree, tasty stuff
>>153833481what was your best meal?
>>153833477>Hiradoumi wins this basho>"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!" starts playing
>>153833458What does sybau mean
Yoshi about to goomba stomp his ass
>>153833416I went there a few years back for two weeks in both Tokyo and Kyoto. My biggest takeaway; they have no idea how to properly cook a steak.
PAPPAPPAP
Timed the zoom in with the slaps lol
BEAR
DON'T STARTBELIEVIN'LET GO OF THAT FEEEELIN
Im starting to believe...
TZD
ZOOMERS BTFO
Takayasu is on a roll, love to see it
>>153833481There is good stuff, but the average meal that a native jap likes I find disgusting. Bean paste is not dessert, cold sweet eggs are gross, way too much seaweed flavor, barley tea was awful, horse meat is horrible. That being said, tonkotsu ramen is delicious
Takayasu yusho!
I don't want to hope. I don't want to be hurt again.
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECESAONISHIKI FUCKING SUCKS
You think the JSA is gonna try and arrange for Dan to marry a Japanese girl if he makes Yokozuna?
>"I want Takayasu to win a basho...">The monkey paw finger curls>Takayasu zensho yusho>Takayasu announce retirement, Hakuho styleBros...
easy
i love takayasu's ring mannerisms so much
bit dull tonight ehvery quick 1 dimensional matcheslast couple nights were fantastic at least
Zak winsDan winsHosh losesI'm speaking it to existence.
My hope for Atami KK is waining, he still has Zak and Aonishiki
>>153833551Sorry bud I am from the future this actually happens:zak winsfujinokawa winshorse wins
>>153833551Hosh will win at first, but the the camera will pan to Onosato running out of the tunnel with a giant sake bottle
I swear Zak's bottom tits become more defined each basho.
>Wakabakakaka
>>153833573Mine do as well
>>153833565With backstage footage of Isegahama oyakata suspiciously handing the bottle to Onosato
>>153833565>He's been buried under the Dohyo for 2 days and breaks out in the center of the ring mid match to tackle Hosh
my reffies
almost saw a willy there lads
That better grip didn't matter
refbros???
he lost to fucking wakatakakoga? it's over
Did the mawashi fixing end up screwing zak over or was this going to happen regardless
>gyoji assist
>>153833588Fuckin pops up from the dohyo Undertaker style.
they tried to rig that shit
>>153833547right on que, something I have never seen before. thanks
>>153833607Seemed to throw Zak's momentum off and give Waka a chance to figure out what to do.
REFMAWASHI
>stops the fight>gives Kotozakura a free right grip>Kotozakura still loses against an injured WakaluigiThis fucking dude LMAO the nepobaby Kotozakura
>>153833607Zak usually bitches out after a while. As long as WTK kept fighting he would have got Zak eventually
:(
say his name
Did fujinokowa glitch out or what
What was that by Fujinokawa? Odd move.
yeah yeah white man marches on stfu
scrappy like their first bout!https://sypcvamjritgcf1s.public.blob.vercel-storage.com/202411/12839-12800.mp4
>AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
why did fuji open with a strategic froggy hop
>>153833649>>153833651>if I flail around like a retard, I'll win!
The fuck was that hop for? To try to get lower than Dan while Dan ran in?
Channelled his inner Ura
>>153833649Refs installed zblock after that start yesterday, he didn't expect it
>>153833649Tried to go very low, but then propably tried for slap down but Aonishiki wasn't buying it
>>153833655( ˘ᴗ˘ )
>>153833659i miss buff technician dan
>>153833657Don't click this link. It gives you a virus and logs your ip.
Onosato and Hosh feelin like retards right about now.
looks like he was trying to get aonishiki to bite on something but i have no idea what
Which wrestler thinks they're the good guy but is actually the bad guy.
he's just exotic like that
>>153833687He was trying to get under him at the start. He failed then hit the panic button with a leg sweep.
>>153833692Onosato
>>153833687> HAKKEYOI!!!
If Hosh lost it'd be so funny
>>153833486probably wagyu gyukatsu>>153833525fair, I agree about bean paste, eggs, and horse meat. But you can't walk 10 steps there without finding a little hole-in-the-wall place that makes simply great food for a great price.
>>153833692Dan
SAY HIS NAME
Well fought. Great sumo by Hosh.
Proper sumo from Hoshoryu
Dunked his ass
Fuckin hell good shit Churanomi. Dude is giving hell to the sanyaku
>>153833692Onosato. Meanwhile Hoshoryu thinks he is the bad guy while he is actually the good guy
>>153833551I did not speak it to existence.
Didn't even realize Churanoumi had grabbed Hosh by the dick at the tachiai. Bit gay, innit
>>153833745That was a good fight.
>>153833687PYON PYON TO
>>153833747Anon, these are 300 to 400+ lbs men ramming into each other, rubbing on each other, and aggressively touching each other while in speedoes. This shit is already gay to begin with but we still watch.
>>153833687jumping henka cancel?
>>153833784missed input, hate to see it
>>153834125Does Asanoyama's isamiashi not count as a rare kimarite?
>>153834163Good question. It's been a few months since it was last used in makuuchi, but it shows up fairly regularly in lower divs. I'm not sure I'm qualified to say, but I'll check it if no-one talks me out of it.
>>153834163Isamiashi isn't a kimarite. It's officially classified as 非技 Non-Techniques
Don't believe. He won't succeed. Takayasu has shat the bed before while starting with 5-0. Don't let yourself to be hurt once more. He will break your heart
>>153835222I have never had more certainty that he's not winning. If that empowers him, then great, but it's not happening. 12-3 playoff loss at best.
>>153833007Are you kidding? The other rikishi in his stable is Tamawashi.
>>153834125You should add a Zak 8-7 square. Also Hosh already was on all four yesterday.
Wondering if Kirishitter can make it to Ozeki.
>>153833776There is NOTHING gay about sumo!
>>153835710I berieve in him.
>>153833662>>153833664Little guys doing hops has always been a thing. They just don't normally do it against rikishi who have such a low center of gravity.
>>153835758Sometimes they hop backwards even.
>>153835222Believing in him no matter how many tragedies come forth is what gives me strength. If he pours his everything in his own sumo, why shouldn't I do the same in my faith in him
Got back from work and finished watching today. Some great fights, specially the Hosh Chura one.>Atamin taking Ls :(>Oho taking Ls :|>Kotoshoho taking Ls :)The fuck was that tachiai from Fuji? Was he trying some Hakuho level mindgame fakeout shit hoping to make an opening he can blitz his full force into it? Sure looked like it.And holy shit Papa is 5-0? I thought he was 3-2 or something.
I fuckin loves the faces in the crowd so much>AAAAH!>GAH!>eeeeh?>NANI?!>mmm...>my feet hurt
>>153833554He's Komusubi. His first week is his face being run against a cheese grater. His second week is much easier, and that's where he can pick up his KK wins.
>Takayasu setting everybody up againHow rude.
>>153833314Roga sucks, FutaGOYama is a shit tier stable full of fags and losers
>>153830721>DAN EDITION
>>153833416wienerschnitzel is better than tonkatsu because wienerschnitzel is veal and tonkatsu is pork loin, thats the only difference between the two dishes. if japs made a breaded veal cutlet then it would be as good as wienerschnitzel
>>153833601>better gripit was a worse grip, gyoji tightened the belt loose and then put zaks hand on the outer loop
Either way it was a bad stoppage. The mawashi was in no danger of coming off while Kotozakura was holding it.
>>153833741>Hoshoryu thinks he is the bad guy while he is actually the horse guy
>>153833702https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oVocXDSQso
>>153835222Sekiwakes have all their easiest matches scheduled early in the basho same as upper sanyaku does
>>153836449>Kirishitma's sole loss is fucking ChuranoumiHOWWHY
>>153833692Tobizaru. He thinks he's Ura but he's actually Abi.
>>153836824Tobi knows he isn't Ura but that doesn't stop him from trying to be liked.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYLCgh8Oc_A
>>153833687wtf retard you were supposed to win again.>>153833005Good.>>153832927Based high IQ beaner.
>>153836956you sissy european poorfag losers aren't considered threatening because you're so weak and impotent and you aren't envied because you're poor failures. Americans are feared and resented because Americans are strong and successful. Americans are everything that everyone else wishes they were. Dan Jr is 2-1 btw, Neither Sweden nor the brown Mexican trash you so greatly admire have any of your own skin in the basho
>>153837010You need to take a break, son.
>>153837010Don't care didn't ask. Nobody likes Amerifats.
>>153837010>you sissy european poorfag losers aren't considered threatening because you're so weak and impotent and you aren't envied because you're poor failures. Americans are feared and resented because Americans are strong and successful. Americans are everything that everyone else wishes they were.Dan Jr is 2-1 btw, Neither Sweden nor the brown Mexican trash you so greatly admire have any of your own skin in the basho
>>153837072shikona?
>>153837095Daibakashirobuta
>>153837095Sangoyama
>>153837095マクドナルド
>>153837095Kujirayama
>>153837010lmao damn bro.
>>153837981>It should've been me>IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME
Takahara from FutaGOYama stable seems to be actually good and might become makushita regular and reach juryo in couple years.
>>153838114chiyomaru gonna kick his ass tonight
>>153838114The sacred and the propane
>>153838067Going off current trends his ACL has less than a year to live.
I'd really like to read this new piece on sumo in Harper's, they have fantastic writers. Can you guys bypass the paywall?https://wp.harpers.org/archive/2026/03/lords-of-the-ring-joshua-hunt-cultural-politics-sumo-wrestling/
New strategy: just let Dan tear your head from your neck
>>153838259>Can you guys bypass the paywall?yes, I can. lmao that you can't dumb no skill bitch
>>153838259>"cultural politics"I can guarantee you that piece is trash written by some indoctrinated dipshit with a degree in English literature, whatever the fuck that means at this point.
>>153838259archiving the page didn't work for me but found a link from someone that did have access https://archive.ph/2026.02.20-235711/https://harpers.org/archive/2026/03/lords-of-the-ring-joshua-hunt-cultural-politics-sumo-wrestling/
>>153838261His stupid little hop only hurt him because nothing Dan does would fall victim to that. Dan WANTS to fight. Dan WANTS you to hurt him if it means he can get your belt. Fuji overthought the fight and it cost him.Also, this means Fuji put more thought into fighting Dan than he did Hosh or Sato.
The only English sumo article I ever read was some faggot who was sent to cover Hakuho and Kisenosato and instead ended up writing an essay about Yukio Mishima, suicide, and homosexuality.
>>153838308>Yukio Mishima, suicide, and homosexualitySounds like a good Saturday night honestly.
>>153838304You are such an ass kissing jerkoff and its really getting tiresome>>153838323Then kill yourself, faggot.
>I get up and move toward the crosswalk. The wind is damp. It’s January, so I don’t see any butterflies. It is a cloudy day, so I do not see the moon. Good lord. These people are such fucking hacks.
>>153838259>>153838294okay I read it. it's fine, good writeup for casuals but offers virtually nothing novel to anybody ITT. just a decent overview of the sport, a little shinto lore, talk about the Hawaiians>Mongolians>Aonishiki, national pride and disappointment in Onosato and some shoehorned asides about San-seito party
How many wins does Enho need?
>>1538386855 if he gets lucky. 6 would be ideal
>>153838645Chiyonofuji mention got me watching The Wolf's 53 match winstreak againhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOfMtyGShPA&t=389s
>>153838685At the very least 5
>>153838772>Posting the G*ose imageTake your superiority complex to Reddit faggot.
Where's natto? I have no clue where to watch as a yuro now.
>>153838943See >>153817523
>>153838984Thanks
Tobizaru needs to get back to doing Flying Monkey things his style has been way too conventional lately
>>153839107His winrate has tanked since Teru's retirement primarily because his constant leg (see: knee) kicks have lacked targets.
holy FUCK tochinoshin lost a lot of weight. I went back to his twitter out of curiosity to see what he's been up to lately and he looks like a completely different person nowhttps://x.com/tochinoshin/status/2031916095872160247
Why is Takerufuji still so trash? Is his bicep still torn?
>>153839174He abandoned his yuropean wife and child for a Japanese thot.
What's Kazuma going to change his shikona to when he makes Makuuchi? Kise-beya doesn't seem to have any naming traditions, but surely he won't just keep his real name.
>>153839256Kazama
>>153839175A torn bicep doesn't heal, he needs surgery to reattach it.
>>153839192Based.
>>153839192Living the dream.
Me top right putting in my eye drops so I can watch Kazuma obliterate an irrelevant fatso.
>>153839317What is he waiting for then?Wtf is going on at Isegahama
>>153839370Look you tuga faggot, Takeru was never a good sumo wrestler. He has his gimmick, lucked out on a Makuuchi debut, then his body broke down from the PEDs. Enjoy watching him writhe in Juryo for a few years until he dies or retires in shame.
>>153839256Kazuma is already his shikona. His legal family name is Kawabuchi. Kazuma is his legal personal name, so he made that his shikona.As for why, the kanji already make for a decent shikona, since it can mean "earnestness" or "singular purpose."
We support having sex with Japanese women here.
>>153839402>Kawabuchi KazumaI ain't buying it. Shodai and Papa fight under their real names, maybe Kazuma will just say fuck it and do that.
>>153839414The full shikona is Kazuma Torakaze.
>>153839420So? He's fighting under his surname instead of his first name? That his shikona is tied to his real name is still enough reason to think he'll change it if he makes Makuuchi. Fujiryoga did it even though Goshima was a based shikona.
>retarded post is made>it's the bong, againWhat a surprise.
>>153839399I'm not a fan of him what are you talking about?I still miss seeing him getting shit on by the sanyaku. One of my favorite bouts was when he tried to henka Hoshoryu but failed and the top gyoji fell on his asshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drRcp1FZuS0
>>153839439Are you fucking retarded?
>>153839449God I hate how fighting low Makuuchi jobbers counts the same as beating a fucking Yokozuna. T*kerufuji beat a Juryo jobber for his yusho and K*toshoho didn't fight Sanyaku until day 12.
Do you think Dan will yusho if he actually manages to win out?
>>153839367this guy kills Mario
Shut the fuck up, you dumb fucking retards
>>153833161>TAKAYASU I WANT TO BELIEVE AGAINDon't do it, anon. You KNOW what's going to happen if you start believing.
>>153839568Yes, but he won't.
>>153833283>I’ll always support Asanoyama
>>153833369Straight up tsuppari clinic given by the iron man.
>>153839568If it comes down to him or the horse I'd bet on him, but it's going to be tough to not drop a third match along the way.
>>153836380But pork is better than veal though...
>>153838259>"cultural politics"Commie garbage.
>>153839808Retard.
>>153838294> reversing immigration reforms that have alleviated crushing labor shortages by allowing record numbers of foreign residents into the country. Commie slop.
>>153839174Have you seen Gagamaru? He dropped all the weight as well. Looks great.
>>153839852>t. commie garbage kys & gtfo, sumo is a cornerstone of japanese conservative politics
>>153839852Commie faggot.
>The world is only what I read on /pol/ and there is no middle-ground.
>>153839925He most certainly has not, lol. Look at his YouTube channel.
>>153839940>if you mention cultural politics in an article about sumo you're bad>sumo is a cornerstone of japanese conservative politicsPick one.
>>153839449Please ignore the brit, he can't help himself.
>>153839940>Japanese conservative politics are when Japan imports Mongolians and slavs to upstage and humiliate native JapaneseI guess I'm liberal now
>>153840042>everything has to be about politicskys commie scum.
Seek help.
Dan will win this basho and finally bring dignity and respect to the title "yokozuna" as Onosato and Horseryu have proved themselves incapable of.
>>153839483That is why it is the yokozuna's job to win every basho with a minimum score of 14-1 and if he can't do that then he is doing a bad job
I've posted this in sumo threads before but here it is again. Please look at it.Can we stop being dumb assholes? Can we stop being spiteful and shitty? Can we stop with the trolling?Look at the values which are promoted by this sport that we call ourselves fans of. Aspire to these. Be better men. Come on guys. I think we can all tell how bad it's getting in these threads. Let us collectively get a grip and collectively get our shit together and let's just be better than this. I know we can be.
If Dan the Chomo can't get at least 14 wins he shouldn't be a yokozuna.
>>153840244He has literally never gotten 14 wins, not even once. Thats how you can tell how fucking dumb this cocksucker is, with one side of his mouth he shits on the actual yokozuna who have both returned better results than Aonishiki has ever done, and with the other side of his mouth he claims Aonishiki should be yokozuna with his 11-4 bullshit. Its just the danfag on his vpn, as usual.
>>153840273We get it you don't like Aonishiki, you don't need to post about him 50 times a thread we're good bro.
A 12-3 victory is no victory at all.
>>153840279Shut the fuck up, you stupid fucking gaslighting cunt. Nobody is impressed or fooled by your shitty vpn. Its not a novelty, moron. You arent clever. You are fucking DUMB. Dumb as fucking rocks, dipshit. How many times do I have to tell you this?
>>153840306Everyone on the internet is one person except for you, classic schizoid response. Anyway enjoy yourself.
>>153840466Wowee the same exact response you have every single time. Scroll up and read through the last time you said, dumb fucking cunt.
Maybe you should take that as a hint, buddy.
You first, you stupid cocksucking retard.And I'm not your buddy. You're a shit-sucking scumbag. Get fucked, asshole.
Danschizo is melting down!
aonishiki lost
And right on cue here comes hogtits to derail the thread with his Dan/Anti-Dan samefag spam. Go take a lice bath, you crippled legless faggot.
Fantastic ashitori (leg pick) from Urutora.
>Koga wins by uwatenage.Off to a great start today.
>>153840891Koga will be sandanme this year
koga will be jonokuchi this year
Koga will be makushita next year
Koga is never making it past sandanme, lets be real. I love the guy but he has zero real potential. He is tiny, his frame is slight, his shoulders narrow, his limbs short. And most of all, he simply lacks the fighting spirit necessary to make lemonade from all those lemons. Look at the makuuchi manlets. Thats how you make something out of nothing. My boy Koga has no drive. He barely tries, lets be honest.
If I'm being honest, I think he tries very hard. It just doesn't make a difference. He keeps at it though, because he's pure soul. Well... 90% soul and 10% eyebrow.
I wish there were a version of Natto sans replays. If I want to watch a match twice I can just scroll back. The replays make Natto's bullshit unnecessarily long. Most matches don't merit a 2nd watching.
>Free sushi>It's too much!
The egg man won again last nightt. Kayo fan club senior member
>>153841413I disagree.
>>153841505Just skip to the next match? He has each match set up as a chapter for a reason.
Meanwhile everyone is overlooking the fact that Takanosho is forklift certified (the forklift is him)
Damn... I really thought Dewanojo could yusho this time.
Oh shit, they gave it to him... weird. Yay!
takayasu
What's the name of the super loud yobidashi
Kimura Kankurō
Oh, derp. Thought you said gyoji. Disregard.
Being an oho fan is suffering.
>>153842019You fool. You utter buffoon. You unfettered monkey. You absolute dingus. You Chilean mockery of dogfood. You fantastically batty moron.I can't believe you've gone and done this.
>>153840215
>>153841505>this dumb nigger doesn't understand how the timestamps work
>>153842683>He doesn't just shout OHOOOO!!! and then turn off the video feedngmi
>>153842704Reddit is unironically better for talking sumo than this shithole. You gonna laugh? You're worse than a redditor, shitbird. Laugh at that, you fucking joke of a nigger. I wipe my ass with this shit ass thread and your stupid fucking comments. Thats why I dont make you guys webms anymore. Thats why I dont make meme pictures for these threads anymore. You get shit because you are shit. You proud of that? Yeah, I bet you are, you retarded fuckstick.
If you go 4-3 every basho, how long does it take to go from debut to juryo
>>1538428993-4 years?
>>153842841All you had to do was turn off the reddit spacing cunt.
looked like nabatame slipped and got flustered and barely recovered that win
>>153842841>Reddit is unironically better for talking sumo than this shithole.So fuck off back to reddddit where you belong and quit shitting up the thread with your pussy mewings. Faggot.
>>153842841> you fucking joke of a nigger. I wipe my ass with this shit ass thread and your stupid fucking comments. >you retarded fuckstick.sumimasen check
>>153842841We're not here to "talk sumo", you pathetic reddit cuck bitch. We're here to talk sumo, shitpost, have fun, and make little reddit faggots, like you, cry.Now fuck off.
>>153842956>>153842974>>153842981Truth hurts huh? Wah wah boo hoo, cunts. You whine when Im nice and you whine when Im not. You bitchmade women just like crying and whining, dont you.
>>153843018
Nice throw from Ikazuchido.
>>153843013Yeah I totally believe youre having fun, you fat, sloppy piece of shit. Im crying my eyes out while Im typing this, is that what you think? Lol. Quit looking in the mirror, you weepy bitch. Yeah I can tell I made your pussy hurt, youre flashing that loose, pus-filled shit cavern all over the thread.
>>153843018how could you tell i'm a girl?
>>153843034Whats the matter, little pussy? Too emotional to type? Too dumb to think of something to say? I bet its both, you retarded cocksucking faggot.
>>153843044
>>153843018>goes through the effort to capitalize and use punctuation>cant even be assed to put a ' for I'mcant say ive ever been so angry i write like that
>>153843124>effortZoom, zoom. He missed a question mark too.
>>153843084see >>153843056>>153843124>>153843197whoa thanks for the psychiatric evaluation, doctors
>this samefag is just going back and forth arguing with himself pretending to be different people
>>153843317Everyone on the internet is one person except for you, classic schizoid response. Anyway enjoy yourself.
>lashes out when called outYeah I was right lol
RIP Wakatakamoto.
>>153843366But you're me and Im just talking to myself
The triple waka bros sekitori dream is officially over.
>>153843394We're all "me" after all.
>>153843394shut the fuck up
Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?
>>153843422KWAB
>>153843422His brothers will henka later in his honor
mine
>be Takanosho>cursed with being too good for rank and file Maegashira but not good enough to stay in the top rankssuffering
>>153843551Dan sucks lol
Dan fucks.
kazumasisters...
what's the undertaker bell I hear
torinoashi
Damn. Wakanosho's going places.
big boy time
curbstomp evil spirits
>only 20 new sumo wrestlers this yearsumo is dying
>both takas have 5 wins>both asas have 4 wins>both onos have 0 wins
>>153843892>year*basho, but yes. It is an honorable death, however.
>>153843921ross said year
>>153843935Whoop-di-doo for whoever that is. This year's Haru Basho is what he meant.
>>153843947retard
:/
God damn, the ogre got manhandled
195cm 173kg is insane
What's wrong with Tobi?
I miss when Chris would have videos up everyday and he'd cover the basho live with his own footage. I suspect someone from the JSA threatened him.
>>15384401033 years old, only 173cm, can't actually fly as advertised. Take your pick.
>>153844022He can fly if I believe he can...
>>153844022the time lost ghost of hiro morita possessing me THE LIGHTS ARE ON, BUT NOBODY WAS HOME. TOBIZARU, THE FLYING MONKEY. I ONCE PLAYED DARTS WITH HIM AND LOST, EMBARRASSINGLY. I ONCE TRIED TO FACE HIM IN THE DOHYO AFTER PRACTICE AND WAS SODOMIZED IN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES. TOBIZARU GOT INTO MY KITCHEN AND ATE MY LUNCH. HE WENT UPSTAIRS TO FUCK MY WIFE AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE.
>>153844051SAYONARA
herecomethe men in black
Bonus sumo.
+1 extra sumo has been deposited into your account
What was the reason for torinaoshi?
>>153844112The same as every other torinaoshi.
>>153844112Kotoeiho jumped out as Asakoryu was going down. Kotoeiho beat him twice, basically.
>>153844112retard
>>153844112kotoeiho was going backwards at the edge and both feet left the groundvalid call, it's just not always enforced right
>>153844125The fuck is your problem?
>>153844112missing allready 4 bouts each day
goddammit shishi
What is Shishi's ceiling
>>153844148he's trying new things
>>153844146why does he want us to see this filmograph
>>153844153he's a wildcard. Sky is the limit if he activates his retard strength. If he's gotten laid within the week he's as weak as a clam in low tide.
>>153844153Dunno, but it's probably covered in glow in the dark stars and flicked boogers.
i could be the guy that sounds like his heart is being rended in half when he cheers by himself
>>153844153Marvel
>>153844167rikishi voted "most likely to sleep in a car bed"
TOAD POWER
Gonoyama is popping off.
grim
GONORILLA
Damn Shodai looking good this tourny
>>153830751why do browns hate him so much?
>>153844345I like aonishiki. Aonishiki's fans are like the undertale fanbase. The fanbase alone can be so grating and irritating that it drives someone away from the subject material.
Not so fast, Suomi.
Nobdog....
Still haven't forgiven Kotoshoho for what he did last July.
CHOKENOSHO
>Shodai in yusho raceIs it time?
>>153844476Shodai vs Takayasu for the championchip
lmao the headbutt
>*BANG*>*BANG*FUJI>*BANG*>*BANG*FUJI
Manlet uprising begins NOW.
god damn little man
Yesterday's hop against Ao looks even weirder now.
Double digits, fighting spirit prize, and a Sanyaku debut. Calling it.
>>153844504
>>153844552>'yasu sauntering out at the start
>>153844570He has nothing on the Atami stride.
Did any of the brits in this thread go see the Sumo in London last year?
How much coke does Fujinokawa snort to get starts like this? It's nuts.
>>153844552stop shilling your channel faggot. buy an ad.
>>153844576dont you have a stream to play unfunny ads over, MIDnight?
the fuck was that refs?
>>153844574I wouldn't step one foot into Londonistan
Someone get that gyoji a dagger to fucking seppuku.
Cmon ref what the shit was that? Kirishima was no where near set
Kirishima's face after he still won
>MidnightDon't give silly answers to new people asking serious questions >:(>Also MidnightWhat's a matta? I dunno what's a matta with you? XDDD
>>153844593Honorable ass win brother
These refs are being pretty loose with what they consider a fair start this basho.
I feel for Yoshi there because he clearly stopped thinking he went early.
I don’t like yoshinofuji hes ugly he makes Filipinos look good
>>153844576give me a vpn that works on abema
>>153844620Yup, the only people in the room who didn't call the matta were the gyoji and Kiri.
>>153844629Proton
>didn't waddle during his walk out todayAtamifuji's gonna lose.
Damn that complete silence on the last turn.
>>153844629just watch a restream on youtube that doesn't have commentary
WIDE. OPEN.
>>153844629mullvad
>>153830721thank you for your service waka
>>153844638>It's over
That finnish faggot cursed Takayasu
This is way I didn't have hope yesterday. But good shit WTK. Takayasu was helpless after that second turn
The most impressive rikishi v the most disappointing rikishi.
>>153844629just watch s0desune on kick
Knowing Oho's stupid ass, he'll probably win against Dan. Any time you think he's shit, he becomes a world beater. Any time you think he's good, he becomes shit.
>>153844684Here he is >>153833526NIGGER
>>153844712This will be the one match where he looks like he's been possessed by the spirit of Raiden himself.
>>153844701I agree. Oho is going to booty blast this fraudzeki
What was going on there?
>>153844720MY FUCKING GOD
ooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo
Grandson, I am not disappoint.
dancels????
wtf was that? just keep trying to grab his fat and hope it works?
>SAY>HIS>N-ACK!
>>153844712>>153844720FUCKIN SON OF A BITCH! EVERY FUCKIN TIME!
THE NEXT YOKOZ-- ACK!
good fuckin sumo ngl
Just bear hug them and walk them out bro, it's that easy
I don't understand Oho
Damn Daniel
Fuck the rope, Dan might not even double digit at this rate.
13-3 and an actual yusho or it's back to the ozeki mines daniel, good luck
>trying to throw when your arms are full clamped instead of just pushing
>>153844751Neither does he.
ohohoho
Oho gets a massive strength and balance boost against the current top wrestlers. The ghost of kiev has been grounded
So basically have the frame of Oho and Onosato and you'll beat Dan.
yjk the danfags itt were sweating that match ahahahaha
Oho my negro, why are you striving to be the next shodai?
Those were some Teru level clamps desu. Has Dan ever been clamped before?
the side eye geez
1-4 Oho is the most dangerous rikishi tbfTotal Danfag death
>>153844747Dan even got his left hand belt grip early but nope, just overarm clamp his arms and just brute force him out.
Rope run is good as dead at this point I guess. People finally figured him out and Onosato will probably be back healthy in May.
Here's how dan can still rope:
>>153844777That was his first loss by kimedashi.
This kills the danfag
hark, but soft, what person through yonder hallway gazes? It is the east and kotozakura is the sun.
>>153844790He’s not figured out it would take them years to understand grappling like Dan does. Me thinks Dan is just worn out
Go Atamin
it probably feels good to collide in to kotozakuras quadruple chest
Everyone thought 'nishiki 'zuna was preordained and 'shima was about to choke another 'zeki run. The evil spirits will make fools of arrogant posters.>inb4 zuna still happens kirishima implodes
If Hosh loses this basho at this point that'd be a huge disappointment. Dan has three losses to his one and it could have been a three loss difference if he didn't lose to the manlet pitbull. This basho is being served to Hosh on a silver platter.
ATAMIN
> "Yokozuna run", you say?
>>153844814He hasn't been wrestling like previous tournaments at all and his opponents game plans are working.
Zak 3-0 into 3-3. The 8-7 dream lives on.
>>153844814danfags are so pathetic lol
>>153844790>Figured outList out the amount of losses he's had in the last 4 basho, including this one, and the names of the rikishi who beat him. It's fairly obvious when you do that.
>>153844825not impressed
>>153844814How is dude worn out at this point? It's only Day 6. Dan just has problems with guys with Oho and Onosato's frame.
>Pushes>WinsMust have had some amazing coaching advice from Teru
>>153844798Yeah, but not really. Oho clamped him before, it just wasn't the last move in that bout.
This is a prime setup for another Hosh slipiotoshi
>>153844834k.
>>153844847I don't think there is any way he can lose to the dog, horse has this one in the bag.
>Hiradomi's false starts that the refs just let slide everytime versus>Hosh's dogshit tachiaiYeah Hiradomi's got this.
>>153844841I stand by my statement.
>>153844838His style is putting a lot of strain on his smaller frame he was eventually going to fizzle out you fat fucks who have never been on a wrestling mat wouldn’t get it.
>>153844855>I don't think there is any way he can lose to the dogDoggo was the one who put the final nail in Hosh's rope run coffin with that 3rd loss. He pulled it out in the end but Hira most certainly can beat Hosh.
>>153844825>Man I wish I could beat Dan like that.
>>153844856>Hosh's dogshit tachiaiHis what?
Hoshoryu has improved his tachiai speed and it shows its results
That's how you start a match
bullied
Good shit. Hosh is the yusho favourite now, easily.
>>1538448741-11
>no matta from hiradogwtf
A spirited tachiai? By Hosh? It's fucking over for everyone else.
Woah woah woah who was that cutie in the background that's working at the venue? She was standing in the hall Hosh entered from. Brown jacket, lanyard, with name tag
HOSH THE REAL YOKOZUNA
Kotoshoho yusho
>>153844903Why are you asking us? Just read the nametag.
If it's Gonoyama I'll vertical rope.
>>153844853Should be pretty obvious now.>70% of his losses are to the same 3 guys or a henka
>>153844908I mean a screenshot of the chick anon cmon now.
>>153844914Lmao that nerd in glasses shaking his finger because redhair dared to touch the heckin' yokozuna!
>>153844914that man touched the god yokozuna! cut off his balls!
>>153844789Prime Terunofuji would've been a nightmare for Dan.
>>153844927Asashoryu would've properly defended himself from that assault. Poor hinkaku from Hosh yet again.
>>153844914Is that a former rikishi? He's wearing a kyokai jacket.
>>153844853I think what's happening now is he's losing all the coin toss matchups, whereas before he would win roughly half of them. He's not getting figured out by anyone who he's dominated so far. >>153844859All I'm saying is Oho used it before to great effect and Aonishiki shoud've known better than to hold on to that belt.
>>153844912How to beat Dan- henka him- Be wide and have an explosive tachiai (Onosato and Yoshi)- Be OhoI don't know how the fuck Oho does it.
>>153844912That's what happens when you're in upper sanyaku. You fight the same guys over and over. What are you even trying to say?
That hohol "Ozeki" would get obliterated by prime Kisenosato, Harumafuji or Asashoryu.
>>153844957I'm saying that your initial statement of him being "figured out" is retarded and instead of arguing in circles you should stop posting retarded statements.
>>153844948And all I'm saying is that what I said is factually correct. :P
WTK starting off 3-3 against the sanyaku is his best start in a good while now, and he's doing it with a fucked elbow. I had grown used to 1-5 by this point. It's like his injury forced him to focus into a smart gameplan
>>153844948>Dan shoud've known better than to hold on to that belt.It's starting to seem like a bad habit. If he gets that grip he ain't letting go even if it's a detriment. That's how he lost to Oho last basho
>>153844962I never said that. I just made the list. If he's losing to the guys that he has to fight most often though... he kind is figured out.
>>153844866>His style is putting a lot of strain on his smaller frameDan at 17 in freestyle wrestling weighed more than Enho does now. He may not be huge, but he's far from being a smaller guy.
>>153844790>>153844978If this isn't you then I apologize, that anon is retarded and has posted it multiple times over the last few days. Let's be honest it is you.
>>153844948>losing the coin toss matchesYeah this was coming for a while. Aonishiki has had some wins from very bad positions the last 2 basho, and that kind of thing can't continue forever
>>153844934Prime Teru would be a nightmare for most wrestlers but yeah, Dan would be getting his ass kicked left and right by Prime Teru
>>153844952Taiho intentionally trained him wrong. As a joke.
>>153844991It's not me, but I don't disagree, lol.
>me watching Dan choke
>>153845005You must be new if you're shocked at Oho evoking the spirit of Taiho out of nowhere and for no real reason.
>>153109193 > zuna with the lead kyujos> instead,> maegashira 1> maegashira 2> maegashira 3As I were saying, this is a fun March. I wouldn't say it's over or that he won't find a way to win somehow, but the dynamics are nice. Also it's nice to see Hosh doing some good sumo.
>>153845005i mean we literally called it, that's who Oho is, he looks like he's half asleep through 13 losses but those two matches he wins he looks like Hakuho reincarnated
>>153844927Hosh will now lose his next match and the basho now because that spectator sullied his body. The sumo gods are unhappy
The 4 wins group looks especially ugly now that they are 1 off pace. Half of the double digit maegashitters are in there. Also gonoyama on 5 trying to do the funny from m10
>>153845028>HakuhoYou mean Taiho
Hosh clear fav, Kirishima underdog, Takayasu miraclerest has no shot
>>153845050you already said Taiho so I had to pick someone else, I thought it might be a little funnier seeing as he's not dead either
>>153845066I dunno man, Takanosho has multiple JYs, K*toshoho has a yusho, and Shodai is a former Ozeki and yusho winner. That's a dangerous crowd to have at 5-1.
Does this line of thinking make sense?Since there's so many kyujo and the remaining rikishi fish eachother, that means that officially there's gonna be a lot more losses than wins. So for the banzuke the MK guys will more likely not get full demotions and the KK guys will more likely get over promoted
yes, roga will once again not move after going 7-8
>>153842899>crunched this earlier but forgot to poststarting with a Maezumo 3-2 and getting the average landing spot (since 2020) for that and every 4-3 in turn, you'd arrive at J14 after 22 tournaments
here's how dan can still win
Aonishiki is going to 11-4 at this rate
Wiping my dick on Dan's face after fucking his ass.
>>153845069The ho in Hakuho comes from Taiho.
new>>153845535>>153845535>>153845535>>153845535
>>153844952everybody (almost) has a kryptonite eventually... hosh has dan, and dan has oho, simple.
>>153844911What an absolute clown Basho so far.
>>153844946If you are talking about the guy facing the camera at the end with the dimplesThat's Ex-Myogiryu
>>153848484I was not.
