first for my bushrangies

first for my Metsies

>rain for the next two days in melbourne
what happens if the shield final is a draw?

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>>153997117
the captains Run It Straight™

Cricket is the gayest most boring sport in the world played by white trash bogans jeers and highfalutin Englishmen the trinity of wankers

>t. AFL customer

>>153997094
why dont any afl players participate in the black clash?

YFO

>>153997472
Better late than never lad.

>>153997472
nice timing champ x

so it's pretty clear at this point that the shorter format experiment has been a resounding failure
i'm actually looking forward to the inevitable overcorrection when "super test matches" come in, a format where each team has 20 wickets in an innings and you get 3 innings each in the match, no limit on number of days.

ambient cricket fella
look it up in the ‘chive x

>>117127319

>>153997678
We'd still see ashes matches finishing in 2-3 days iykwim haha

Boland gets the world's first 15fer

melbourne is a fucking gay shithole full of poofters, clearly HAARPing to deny the redback's their rightful back-to-back shields

>>153997865
what does this post mean

wet dez dus pist mun?

i miss the guy who used to do those, no offence but he was a lot better at it

>convict hours

>>153998177
>akKON & YUNG JEEZY

i had a dream where i was scrolling cric and lawndude posted pics of his new inground pool
!!

YFO

going to start visiting tasmania

convey my regards to tassiela fella x

>nobody even mentioned us
what's ol bingo wings on about here

cuz got u good doe champ

>>153998518
made no sense and you're insufferable btw. 40 year old veggie freak

mums surname is German anyway

>>153998435
im heading back there this winter to have another long weekend at Barnbougle

>>153998283
IF YOU LOOKIN FOR ME I BE ON THE BLOCK

>>153998851
what a fantastic position for cricket and cricketers to be in

>m-mummy's german
lmao he's finally having buyer's remorse over the eternal v3 (non *) genetics

tall german milf gf 26

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*dabs on chutney boys like a Thunderwave*

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>>153997472

>200kg when on a diet
>normal

toil over for the week
sun shining
mighty wales playing tonight
time for a beer

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More like vagboy amirite lads?

ur a maniac sebbo

see you in the matchthread >>154002204

>>154000796
Lmao add chutney boy to the lexicon tank u pls

>bad imitation made vulgar and sexual
every time

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WERE FUCKING WINNING

1-1 is unironically a massive result for welshie weaklings

Didn't even know Dzeko still played think that says it all about Welsh athletic prowess

I think you have the wrong thread mate

shitting on unathletic weakling welshies is /cric/ related because it's called the England and Wales Cricket Board even though the latter have contributed absolutely nothing (and therefore, as Farage says, need to fuck off)

State of unathletic Welshies

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ffs wales unironically devistated

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>>153998810
CUZ ERRYBODY KNOW THE GAEM DON STOP TRYNA MAEK IT TO TOP NOW…ONLU IF YOU IS A RIDAA YEEAAAA
OR ARE YA SOVL SURVIVAAAA

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>>154000796
>>154002641
kekkKkKkkk
>>154000962
tabla x

>>154005098
lmao

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whats the point of having a world cup if wales aren't in it

>>154000796
trying so hard to turn the jamboy meme around
indians cant meme lmao

Convicts are a bad imitation of humanity

the jam boy's rattled again
pozzies have his izzat on a string lmao

Australians are the last bastion of hope for western civilisation, they care not what you or anyone thinks they are proud of who they are and where they came from. I wish I was Australian

Uh oh bnob lashing out because Wayols couldn't beat pensioner Dzeko? Bit of the ol' stepdad diddle coming your way mate? It's okay chutney boy here's the crumb of social interaction that keeps you losing to a balcony

>constant jeet screeching
>one comment about their screeching
>"saar the Australians are redeeming the seethe! saar!"

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Convicts the undisputed likes to give out out can't take it back champs
Learned behaviour from the engshitters that packed 'em off like sardines to the arse-end of the world

Irrelevant cricket country
Irrelevant geopolitically
Irrelevant culturally

lawncunt u in moite¿

caught 2 jam boys for the price of 1 this evening lads

umm…can’t stay fella…finna bouttta start a jam sesh with ur marm eyequeem x

More like marmalade kek.

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queem QUEEM x

had to buy some new dress pants today, old ones getting a bit loose
the downside of drinking less beer haha lol (i don't drink beer very much anymore these days)

If that's a bad thing about not drinking beer - then what's the best thing about not drinking beer?

Phoebe Litchfield

>>154012958
go on...

worst thing about not drinking beer is you can't tell everyone about how you're drinking beer

what's the best thing about phoebe litchfield

We all watching the shield stream on cricket dot com dot au?

Glammy have signed Australian fast bowler Ryan Hadley. Quite excited about this one. Kids gonna be a star

>>154013172
her existence

Just found a hardcover copy of Mitchel Johnson's autobiography in one of my (parent's) bookshelves.
Shan't be reading it.

>>154013248
we'll be watching the warriors

might go out by myself tonight cause I've got no mates.

might stay in because i've got no mates

We're in here
>>154011409

>>154013502
just checked and none of us are in there

So what's everyone's thoughts on the jenebu drama?

Think you're making up words mate

the only drama I care about is on The Real Housewives of the Big Bash League

lads what does Big Bash League stand for

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/Big Bharat Lund/

rather be dead than look like that

Chippy lunch on the cards

he's posting his bf again. really has a thing for that guy kek

is winning the ipl more difficult than the world cup? international cricket is mostly dead with only 2-3 competitive teams but in IPL all teams can compete and have a good chance of winning

>>154014238
In non RCB games I support every uncapped player to crush the international players. These top guys get the limelight against international fodder at T20 WCs anyway. This is the best platform for uncapped players. Let Prince run through a batting lineup.

anyone wanna hear a joke? i'm gonna tell it anyway
ready?
the nz warriors

new cope dropped I see
Travis Head badly mindbroke these jam boys

wish I had a cool last name like Head

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>>154014315

>>154014315
they're so desperate for our attention itt, its quite sad

>>154014348
rather be dead than look and act like this

>>154014459
don't lie

business idea: cricketeering agentic ai team

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NOTICE ME CHCCHUTTNEYBOI

>>154009705
kekkkKk GOTTEM

>>154015358
queemboy

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…yh…wat’s the plan for the day fellas¿
ipl dis weekend innit

BRAT

https://youtu.be/8ML3mkqtSsY

BRAT

>>154015390
kekkKk

JBO (sorry shitjeet and sebshit, this means you - just imagine /cric/ is bindia and you're being threatened with staying in it)

so..umm…anyway when’s the ‘scosesh?

an ol’ criccy ‘scosesh staple ngl
https://youtu.be/TVex_faf91E

>>154015677
MENACING
O
E

>>154015677
>>154016027
>YAAAH AAAL-LAAAAAHHH! WAAAAAHHH! ASTAGH-FIR-ULLAAAAAHHH!!

saw the most beautiful woman in the world tonight but was too scared to talk to her

character development moments in lyfe innit
next time shoot ur shot, fella. best case u gain a gf worst case u gain street cred and lore x

In Donedon

pro tip: it’s not done if you’re still there x

>post silly jam boy comment I didn't think much of
>log off /cric/ for a few hours then come back
>shitjeet had a full on melty spamming the thread
it's just too easy sometimes
now go fetch my clubs lil jammy

reminder a donedon v2 is a northern v5
the home of bouldering

>>154016782
Leeds and Sheffield are the home of Bouldering

might get a chinese or summit

steve coogan was just sat right near me on train
little did he know he was sat right near to me

>>154017011
I only get Chinese where the Chinese students go nowadays
none of that pitbull owner muck

from certain man's blogs, life in dork is basically
>work (part-time)
>go do some cross-fit of gen z
>get a chinese
>'''''''relax'''''' in pub / bedsit
>get pastry
dire stuff

-I work full time (35 hours a week)
-climbing is primal, not the CrossFit of Gen z
-indeed, I do enjoy some of the authentic Chinese places in south York
-isn't a bedsit, it's 50 square metres and has multiple rooms
-i don't consume non-fermented sugar

IPL is peak cricket

He has a point about bouldering being like crossFit desu
never seen a bouldering gym that wasn't full of zoomers

just went to see Grandpa in Battersea
he doesn't tend to be nice to me because I am Welsh (black) and not exactly made in his aryan Germanic image
but it was a nice lunch all in all

>>154017406
cross-fit will just be replaced by like hyrox or whatever
nothing will replace climbing. climbing strength is important and primal

matched with some good looking women in Donedon on the hinge burner
I prefer York though and don't like big cities, even if i am literally the only millennial in York
only gay in the village as it were

why do women love Donedon so much
because they need to be 'in the centre of it'. attention seekers
there needs to be state funded incentive to get more of them to York. especially those of Venezuelan receptionist persuasion

GET IN

>>154017711
>>154017711

reckon the zachy impersonator just mixed up certain man and certain civil servant lore. dear oh dear

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IPL

>>154018302
starts tomorrow innit

hopefully jam boys set up a container thread for their fellow low iqs

>>154017858
Can confirm that it was me who originally reflected upon amply-bosomed Venezuelan receptionists following my brief spell as a private sector Donedon salaryman (alas, the civil service provides no such well-meloned Latina eye candy)

Could just be Zachy showing his level of respect for me by musing upon a similar topic

didn't she die or was that someone else
at least you have the proto now at any rate
based bard

going to drink all fucking day tomorrow and post with my heart rather than my head

teetotal general so most of us will just smugly look down on you lol

There was another generously-jugged girl who worked in the office (half Latina half Indian), had previously done some bikini modelling. I think she was in accounts, clearly another eye candy hire

The sales deanos all tried to chat her up but she didn't give them too much back, and instead went out of her way to make excuses to talk to me (a humble and introverted chap of no great attractiveness who spent most of the day with headphones in), for reasons that I never could quite fathom.

Entirely through her initiative, we started going out for lunch together (each paying for our own, I'm no simp), just the two of us. She'd always stop and talk if she walked past in the office too. Still couldn't figure out her game.

She invited me (and none of the others from the office) to a party she was throwing, and I thought I'd finally figure out if she really did want to be slipped the schlong. But when I got there she introduced me to her boyfriend, who she'd never mentioned before. Turned into quite an awkward evening because I didn't know anybody else, and I ended up doing coke with some of her Brazilian mates

She left the company a little while after, then covid hit, and I never saw her again. Tried to find her socials out of curiosity a couple of years later, and found out that she'd married some other bloke who looked at least 50, and then had only gone and died shortly afterwards (I couldn't figure out the cause, I just found the fundraising page her family set up for her). The mystery of what her gimmick was with me will remain an eternal mystery

The relevance to /cric/, I hear you ask? I had a good chat with the boyfriend about (Test) cricket, so maybe he posts here

brotherberg has just bought a flat in Brighton
not quite as nice as mine mind
don't get much for your money down south

>>154018478
Nah that was this one >>154018717
Proto has now been upgrade to non-proto, unfortunately
It is what it is

>>154018400
can be described as artful acknowledgment

some nerve to even dare assume anyone's going to read all that lmao

>>154018623
you do realise this meme about zoomers drinking less is pure demographics don't you
also, people are spending more time on their phone rather than out drinking and shagging
alcohol isn't even bad for you

>this demographic that doesnt drink is pure demographics
groundbreaking stuff innit

A large pint is pure hydration
not even bad for you

>>154018989
johnny foreigner doesnt drink much
it's all demographics

beer literally makes you fat

The Geese show in Leeds was so fucking good

me? don't need to spend £8.50 on a pint to show my personality to some London lass (only place where you get 7/10 and above let's be honest).

>>154019055
This literally isn't true
'beer belly' is co worker science
A pint typically contains 200 calories. 100 of which your body can absorb, this is largely offset by the rise in metabolism through alcohol
those guys in the pub don't have 'beer belly', they eat like shit, and bad habits have accumulated over a long period of time

>The Geese
it's just Geese you poser

'it's bro science', he said, as he necked some more doggy ED pills mixed with creatine

t.drink like a fish at times, but have a 30 inch waist in Edwin jeans and can do 30 pull-ups

beer literally doesn't make you fat
it's co-worker science
anyone who says they got fat through beer really got fat through shoveling 2500 calories of hard food stuff though their fat couch potato gob

alcohol is literally poison
youre feeling drunk because your body is fighting off poison

define poison

I could buy a nearby cottage for £300k, walking distance to town in one direction, hundreds of acres of beautiful countryside in t'other

Move in the formerly-proto-now-not-proto in a couple of years, and live a happy domestic life


Permanently trade the excitement of the city for humble provincial pleasures, playing for the local cricket side in the summer and finding something else to do in the winter

Permanently give up on the idea of pursuing a more exciting or meaningful career, and accept my lot as a mid-tier civil servant with a stable salary that covers the basic needs for a mid-tier middle-class (lower echelons thereof) lifestyle

Is this a horrifying prospect, or is it a dream life I should grasp with both hands? I cannot decide

>alcohol is literally poison
t.north Sydney denizen

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forgot pic

>>154019499
thats the dream but in a nice climate such as australia

>>154019121
>bad habits have accumulated over a long period of time
yeah like drinking beer. the food and sitting down in a pub makes it worse but the booze is making them fat

>>154019652
It's a bit cold and wet over the winter, admittedly, but we get four proper seasons here and in the countryside you really do appreciate that. Don't think you'd get that in Australia. Depends what sort of nature you find most comfy, I guess

>>154019682
the booze itself isn't making them fat you brainlet though is it. I suppose being a booze addict could contribute to other regrettable and lazy lifestyle choices, but they are just weak


>>154019499
so you're actually going to move this slavic bird you let off RuneScape in?

*met off

>>154018717
pfizer or moderna?

might watch and post about IPL not because I enjoy it but because it will upset the testies on here

>>154019169
>doggy ED pills
for me it's cowgirl ED pills iykwim haha

i'll upset your gf with my testies champ

on the cultural spectrum
IPL is at the polar opposite of 20mm max hangs

>>154019810
if youre indian then yeah thats your perogative

https://youtu.be/PS7l6vMErdU?si=KvK75E9ju83ll5U-

for me, it's Leeds

love Bouldering and geese

stopped listening to geese ever since I found out about the mum's degeneracy

>>154019740
We're not at that stage yet but not beyond the realms of possibility that it would happen in 2-3 years unless I sabotage things
She's told me she'd like to move here and she's unfortunately very besotted with me, so I'm pretty sure she'd want to move in
Not a slav btw, from a country on an equal economic footing to the UK

>>154019791
A VERY pertinent question that was also at the front of my mind when I read the news

>>154019810
Thought I was bonding with the Welsh boomer in my team over cricket but then he told me that he doesn't care much about Glamorgan but absolutely loves the IPL
Him and his Welsh boomer mates spend all weekend every weekend in the Cwmbran Wetherspoons, where they've got a sweepstake on the IPL, and watch every game
Apparently Kumar Sangakkara's nephew is a barman there, and did the draw for them this year

is the orange clown really going to send 5k zogbots into Iran?

>>154020226
please rephrase this to be more cricket related. thank you.

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>>154020198
this (((one)))?
cameron winter is the greatest songwriter of this generation, but yeah, a chosen child
they have the palestine flag at their shows interestingly

how does one of them go from pure 'chan to reddit(ering) in sofa gyms
and how does the other go from 'volcel' to 'top shagger of /cric/'
mad world

like a broken clock, it's right once a day
reddit was right about bouldering

>>154020207
equal economic footing eh. there must be something else severely wrong with her to be that into you surely?

wish less people played golf

all golf courses should be turned into giant termite factories or askham bryan tier nature reserves
golf should be against the law

nah we just need less people playing so I can get a better tee time
also its fkn cold in sydney, first winter chill has hit. was 14c when I woke up this morning

why has golf culture become a thing with Aus/NZ 20-30 year olds
swear it wasn't until recently
even in Clapham all their refugees are all over it with deano

nah golf needs to be banned outright
dire hobby

golf is shite but at least it's a shite sport
don't see anyone with Tiger Woods' physique in snooker or f1 do you

snooker is infinitely superior to golf

>>154020515
Think she just likes the idea of fixing broken things desu
We're kindred spirits in lots of ways too

>>154020646
Golf, that's another provincial hobby I could take up, Saturday morning round with all the deanos each week
Need something for the winter too
Maybe the local arthouse cinema and psychedelic drugs (not necessarily at the same time)

>>154020709
for 6 months it was the only sport you could play with mates after lockdown so everyone got into it
that plus its always been the sport of pro sportsmen. every cricketer, rugbyer, tenniser, probably even boulderer plays golf so people want to be like their idols

Young people in the provinces are decent sorts but essentially intellectually deficient

As a wise man once said, the average human being is barely sentient

It'd be a nice idea to host dinners at the cottage - good (vegetarian) food, delicious (cheap) wine, and invigorating (heated) conversations about the big questions in life

But who would I invite? My old mate deano the project manager and his primary school teacher missus? Can't talk about football if there's women present, so what does that leave us with - Love Island?

Call me an arrogant pseud, but the only people with intellectual sophistication in the provinces are retired boomers (and I don't want to have dinner with them)

3lolp

>>154020970
video call drinks with the discord

go move to Donedon then bard with the woman you met off RuneScape
you could become one of those cringe londonmaxx couples with the pram

>>154020609
I feel the opposite haha I wish everyone played golf
>>154020726
except this guy I wish he didn't exist at all

no need to mald at the protag because the ceiling in york in 4/10s mate

I'm in no hurry
this Welsh seed will remain virile and potent for many years to come

>>154021262
as an adult male nearing the age of [redacted], would I be able to meet a woman on runescape? should I start playing again?

>>154021141
A grim prospect
Need to convince the young conservative intelligentsia to move to the provinces

>>154021262
An even grimmer prospect, why on earth would I want to do that

>>154021339
vaxx status?

he took it but claims not to because he tries to copy the protag in every way (also said the sufjan album was shit then did a 180 to copy the protag)
also rigged the poll btw

is this guy pretending to be zachy lol?

>>154021365
unvaxxed
pure unvaxxinated Welsh sperm courses through my Neath balls

>>154021374
I can assure you I am unvaxxed against covid-19
even if covid-19 was real, i probably still wouldn't have got vaxxed

clearly unvaxxed against mental retardation haha

>>154018791
dis
agree on some tings with ya ngl

big ball havers, do you sit on them a lot? i do it like once a year i think if theyre extra stretchy or something idk

…yh

how big are balls supposed to be?

not really into vaccinations because you can't undo them
wouldn't like a compulsory for airborne aids really, let alone for sniffles. honestly not convinced covid-19 even exists

>>154021498
golf ball sized

>>154021529
Thanks, alright I think I'm pretty normal then

>>154021357
bard has managed it so maybe

planning to drink several beers today
and watch zero cricket

I should clarify that I didn't meet her on Runescape
I did used to play Runescape a lot to be fair, but not since I was about 11 or 12, I think

>>154021374
you're a bit cringey bnob but I 100% believe this because I now also remember that Sufjan episode KEK

>>154021727
based og runescape classic enjoyer

>>154021764
thats not a beer

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>>154021770
oh. sorry.

to be honest all of sufjans albums are pretty shit compared to Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal

>>154021741
I was surprised when I googled it like 15 years later and it seemed like exactly the same game I used to play as a pup all those years ago, with no further development
Probably exactly the same now

can't help but notice bard seemed much happier as a volcel than being weighed down by a proto

>>154021802
(that's a good thing btw)

>>154021816
its all an act
hes absolutely smitten with the proto

>>154021816
Partially true
One of the reasons I was a humble volcel was because I'm terrified at being the cause of somebody else's happiness or sadness, that's a truly frightening responsibility
But can one continue living a life so detached from others, so detached from responsibility? It's a difficult question

>>154021828
True

>>154021842
Wouldn't go that far
It's complicated

https://youtu.be/2zuQK_gLFAY?si=U96dvYaUir2nH3N0

THERES A COBRA IN MY HAND
SHES CALLING
ME BACK AGAIN

>>154000796
vegemite is more of a patê

>THERES A COBRA IN MY HAND
literally me haha

>>154022087
Based Indian snake charmer

Corr fucking stinks of rotten mouldy cheese and yeast infections in here

>>154021048
lol
lol
lol

settle down smegmalad

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>s**** starts posting in your /cric/

>your

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https://youtu.be/HzE6QCI-gvA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXavzQvawSg

>>154022766
noice ngl fella x

>>154022754
CHUTNEYED
H
U
T
N
E
Y
E
D

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>>154022726
https://youtu.be/eFQoeX6HnP8

excellent - jam boy hours
fetch my clubs lads!

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whachew doin up so late chutney¿
>>154023029
https://youtu.be/jLptDoI-AdI

nice disco you got there

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https://youtu.be/cj0p-4eXYk4

sebbo? more like smellbo (Smell B.O.) lmao

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https://www.youtube.com/live/JFKuCLcLQUE

>>154022754
someone need to teach indians how to throw a punch, it's always those weird slaps and palm strikes kek. Maybe add boxing to their cricket training.

>>154025010
do NOT teach them how to punch

would take any advice re punching from any of youse softcocks

what about spelling advice

>>154011409
>>154011409

excellent - jam girl hours
fetch my chub lass!

>turn on the shield stream
>first ball wicket
you can thank me, ye mexican filth

>2 wickets in 5 balls
I SAID THANK ME, YE FILTHY MEXICAN DOGS

thank you? what do you expect, a government-assigned jam girl?

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>ywn sensually lick jam off a sexy desi girls soft silky feet

>>154028186
mate you could very easily do that
probably take me like 2 days to get that done if i wanted to

Hearing reports that convict chutney boys sre siphoning off their fellow convict's petrol because of the fuel shortage there (by virtue of being an irrelevant country no one gives two shits about supplying fuel to)

>ahhh please pay attention to me big strong australian sars, don't make me go into my bf webm folder again that would be terrible haha

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The pinnacle of our cricket year begins
My body is ready
Jai IPL

>>154028238
kek

Reminder jam boy /weakminds/ still haven't won a mace

IPL stands for indians please leave

alexa, remind me again which team has consistently outperformed all test playing nations and has reached TWO WTC finals whilst playing over 10 tests in a cycle¿
—-
no you
—-
honey works better
t. pro
—-
which team are ya going with bhai

so this is the worlds famous /cric/ huh?

…yh
welcome x

>reached two wtc finals
>reached
australia has reached two WTC finals and won one of them
india remains the most weakminded test nation, as evidenced by their capitulation to SA and NZ in their last two home series

alexa, remind someone what standard personnel churn is

*turns off reminders*

alexa, send a GOTTEM

has fraudam gambhir been churned yet? or will he get another 5 years for some cricket results

*alt-f4's cricket from my mind forever*
ahhhh much better

>>154028420
meme* cricket results

waiting for the churn to get him frfr
he is more of a limited overs kinda fella ngl

Hello lads, just popping in to see how crics going
kind of miss shitjeet posts and laughed at a heap of em over summer desu, I think the one that said siri how many test wins has CumGOD had in india 404 not found whistles soul limbo and a few others
anyways hope youre well lads

tabla x

your up early sebbo
watching ipl tday?

…yh x

…maybe ngl x

My plan for the day:
NOW: brekkie + based nrl
10:30: go clothes shopping
12:30: grab a chippy lunch and beers
14:00: ipl
15:00: wigan vs huddlesfield
17:00: Scotland vs Japan (friendly)
17:30: leigh vs toulouse
18:00: boxing - Ituama vs Franklin

early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, wealthy, wise and willpower

x

Certain jam boy always stays up late at night so I suppose that explains why he's always seething about the more successful Australian national team

alexa, compliment schedulelad on xirs schedule lest xir gets upset

i used to get up and rise early as a young lad

i still do i just dont rise anymore haha

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queem QUEEM

like all of zachy's memes, "jam boy" is incredibly forced (he just spams it with the vpn) and unfunny

zachy wouldnt willingly use jamboy because its a golf term

Jam boy upset his cricket team is shit and everyone is making fun of him

Good morning to my dear brothers and sisters in the eternal struggle

how goes the ennui business champ x

playing with me cat
then off to collect me chippy

>>154029469
A bit better than last week but it always looms

Can feel myself becoming more and more of a boomer at work

Some gen Z muppets were getting irate at our Perm Sec in an all-staff call because senior leadership weren't doing more to address the risk that somebody might be sat at a desk they had booked already, because "MY ANXIETY WILL LITERALLY NOT ALLOW ME TO ASK THEM TO MOVE, YOU CANNOT PUT THAT RESPONSIBILITY ON ME!"

I mean, Jesus wept, not sure how their """anxiety"""" (fake disorder) allows them to expose themselves as muppets in front of 1,000+ people on a call, but won't allow them to have a polite conversation with some meek civil servant saying "Sorry but I've booked this desk already, would you mind moving to a different one?" who would almost certainly politely apologise and move away straight away

>>154029471
k x

I think that is a very Gen Z phenomenon desu, becoming increasingly angry and radicalised in online spaces, but completely lacking the social skills to function in the real world

Probably true of millennials too, but to a lesser extent

Guess it's completely unsurprising when they grew up with smartphones and then were forced to stay indoors and isolated for years due to the flu during their formative years

>>154029547
hmmm..yh.. you’re just discovering that organisational life runs almost entirely on small, polite conversations that nobody can formally mandate but everyone secretly relies on injit

The tranny I manage is giving me more headaches

For one thing we've got to give """her""" three months paid leave to recover from having her knob chopped off, even though """she's""" already averaging 60 sick days per year. Hope you're happy with your tax money going to that

In fairness, though, """her""" work output is pretty similar on the days when """she's""" in vs the days when """she's""" sick - sweet fuck all achieved

I gave """her""" a simple task to do on Thursday morning, should have taken a few hours at most. Said I could answer questions over Teams at any time or jump on a call to explain things. Checked in multiple times per day and asked how """she""" was getting on with it, and """she""" kept saying """she""" was making progress. Checked again on Friday afternoon and still saw no evidence that """she""" had actually started anything, so asked """her""" what was going on, and """she""" said "Oh sorry I passed out and collapsed on my floor for the last few hours, but I'll go back to dong it now". Then proceeded to log off, still having not even started the work

Just how are you meant to performance manage somebody so useless when the HR bints won't let you get rid?

>>154029589
document everything fella. you’re not managing motivation, personality, or life choices, only observable work output innit…make xirs tasks painfully procedural and document everything

>>154029628
Unfortunately performance management barely exists, if I went down that route it would literally be about 2 years of informal and then formal performance management plans with multiple opportunities for improvement

All """she""" would have to do is demonstrate the bare minimum improvement and """she""" gets taken off that plan again, and the cycle continues - that's basically how """she""" has been playing the attendance management system

Should have been got rid of during probation really, but with that time having passed I guess every past manager has just done what I'll inevitably try to do now, and move ""her""" onto a different team so that the rest of us don't have to keep making up ""her""" extra work for years to come

Noticed a few of my recent posts have been only very indirectly cricketing related so I would like to request a three-day ban please (then maybe I'll get off my fat arse and do something with my life)

Think I'm gonna go run a marathon because I'm thoroughly bored

unfortunately, ennui outbursts do seem to be cricket adjacent, fella x

75 bings now

thought the proto gf had taken bard off our hards but apparently this narcissistic neek needs to blog the way fish need water

used to be in the mental elf isn't real camp
but getting older and wiser, I now think it is real, just not as widespread as is suggested

>>154029770
She's Gen Z and believes in """anxiety""" (absurd concept) and probably also pro-trans, so I can't blogpost these sorts of things to her
Will try to radicalise her but it's not an overnight process

demolished that chippy

business idea: veggie chippy shops near cricketeering centers

Royal Challengers Bengaluru:
Virat Kohli, Phil Salt, Rajat Patidar (c), Jitesh Sharma (wk), Tim David, Romario Shepherd, Krunal Pandya, Bhuvneshwar Kumar, Abhinandan Singh, Jacob Duffy, Suyash Sharma

Sunrisers Hyderabad:
Abhishek Sharma, Travis Head, Ishan Kishan (c), Heinrich Klaasen (wk), Nitish Kumar Reddy, Aniket Verma, Salil Arora, Harsh Dubey, Harshal Patel, Jaydev Unadkat, Eshan Malinga

Royal Challengers Bengaluru won the toss and will field

x

business idea: YFO of /cric/keteering threads

it’s YFO in alf as well ffs

probably the first time these 2 words have ever been put together in this order but:
based afl

GONE GOTTEM!

hydrabad taking a bit of a beating

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>he's older than 15 but watches t20

seethe on gramps

IshKish on one

what a catch from the welshman

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Power of devotion

based salt

The butter-fingered engshitter chutney boys fear the welsh catching prowess

just opened a shippy

just opened a chippy