PREVIOUS: >>154780981NYY: José Caballero (finger) is expected to be activated from the injured list when first eligible on FridayATH: Denzel Clarke (foot) was pulled off of his minor league rehab assignment at Triple-A Las Vegas after suffering a high-grade left hamstring strainLAA: Jorge Soler is not in the Angels’ starting lineup for Thursday evening’s showdown against the AthleticsPIT: Francys Romero reports that the Pirates plan to promote top prospect Esmerlyn Valdez from Triple-A Indianapolis on Friday.BOS: Chris Cotillo of MassLive.com reports that the Red Sox plan to promote right-hander Tayron Guerrero from Triple-A Worcester prior to Friday’s series opener against the TwinsMIN: The Twins plan to place Tristan Gray on the paternity list prior to Friday’s gameCLE: Brayan Rocchio finished 3-for-3 with two doubles and a steal Thursday in the Guardians’ 3-1 win over the TigersSTL: Dustin May gave up four runs in 5 1/3 innings Thursday in a loss to the Pirates
Giancarlo, my love, explode all over me!!!
doyers
more meat>more meatmore meat>more meatmore meat>more meatmore meat>more meatmore meat>more meatmore meat>more meatPound my boy hole, Gianni, please
wait, i'm confused. are the yankees a bad team?
>>154784981You're now just realizing this? Did you really think last night was all on Yesavage?
PRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTPRIDE!>LGBTMy Yankees so gay, and I couldn't be more proud!
how do we limit the yankees troon from spam posting
beefy boiand my lovethose arms, mmmm
Rodon owns these last place shitters
Toronto SanJays
i had no idea how gay yankee fans were, holy shit
>>154785143They have to bear the Mets at everything
>>154785143I think it's the lack of winning. They were able to exude their faggotry a bit when they'd win, but losses tend to keep it pent up
Sanjays kek
what the fuck is wrong with Jazz Chisholm
à VARSHONIAN strikeout
Why do the Yankees play a weird Wookie sound when the other team has 2 strikes?
God I love being a Yankees, Habs, and Lakers/Knicksfag. Cope Bawstun
>>154785289>wookie sound
>>154785277>Swings at a pitch up up at his face
going to need judge and rice to make connection with the bat to the ball
>>154785310He’s been elite these past couple of weeks, à win for Rodon.
holy shit, the NYC commercials full of DEI
>>154785308What is it then? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HZHcUaQMF0
Jonestahni
>wookie sound
Jonestahni hustle bag
>>154785347>NYC commercials full of DEINYC is full of DEI. There are more registered socialists in NYC than republicans and conservatives combined.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I have gooned to this pic
I love New York and the Mets
>>154785143Annoying but most are knowledgeable. Dodgers fans are both annoying and don't know anything.
dodgers
off day
>>154785527still hurting from the world series huh
>>154785510>we hate billionair-ACK
>>154785576Yes.
>>154785553weird
>Giménez >pretending to get hit for a free base When will the mlb suspend him?
>>154785527I'm sorry.There's no Dodgers game today, so instead, the Yankees vs. Jays game is being broadcast for free on Japanese TV.
I love New York City. It's my favorite place in the world and I wish it wasn't, because it is an expensive, overpriced, schizophrenic hellhole but I love it in spite of all that because of everything it has.
catchers interference!
not that we're going to be swept but it's good to know that even if it was to happen we'd still be 1st in the division
I was really hoping for a Boonian chimpout there
>>154785184lol
What the fuck, yanks?
hit a dinger
Based CruzSHOULDVE hit that cheating bitch in the head and knocked his jaw loose
>>154781344https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoelCIC86lw
>doink
Why can’t teams beat us by more than 1 run?
michael cera, avid blue jays fan! im getting rogers internet!
>>154784891LOVING THE GOOD THREADS, /mlb/. KEEP IT UP
you're not really going to lose to the blow jays right
>>154785780Chinless faggot, I hope a foul ball cracks his skull open and he starts bleeding all over the play
thats why you fucken run vladdy
KING CHIKANER OF THE SOUTHKING JAY88 OF THE EASTME WEST
>>154785782it's just one yankees troon talking to himself
>>154785799Vladdy is too fat I’ve said it before, he’s the groundball king you hit it anywhere near and he’s dead at the base
i'm in the good thread and i feel good
>>154785822Pretty much yeah
Who’s better? Whitey Ford or Cam Schlittler?
a FUDGIAN popup
the yankees now have two relievers named cruz...
some random blow gays pitcher is better than shittler
the AL is so gay
>>154785845YesJAZZ SWAG
miles is throwing some sex god pitches
>spencer miles using his knowledge of the 15 second negro to strike him out the exact same way
Yankees are just sacrificing for my Habs and Knicks
>>15478489150/50 status?
MILES DAVIS
>>1547860091-0 is the most dangerous lead, my Jays will fuck this up don't you worry>The Yariel Rodriguez you ordered, sir
>jizz>goldshit
>>154785947>mfw someone calls Al gay
>challenging the ball 3.0" above the zone
>>154785947yep
>>154786025Correct
>>154785780The guy from Scott Pilgrim?
>keith fairybanks
>>154786053>the average overturn ABS challenge is 0.35"ump chads are dominating
>yankees pitch another great game>only give up one run>lose
harris DINGER
>blow gaysTOTAL TRANNY DEATH
Michael Harris is scorching hot for the Braves
Wow
Why is Springer allowed to play baseball? BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
YWNBARWGeorge Springer is a cheater
Go back to india
Yanks should have finished the job.
>zogbot
FUCK CANADIANS, FUCK TRANNIES, LOVE ME 'COUNTRY
barves are cheating
>cutternot a real pitch
>>154786188you won tranny
LOONEY TROONS
>>154786252Do you mean this to say it's called a 2 seam fastball or something else? Or wasn't the cutter the 2 seam but with opposite direction break?yes I am new
>>154786253thank you, Ranjeet
STRUCK him out
The Atlanta Braves have won the baseball game
>>154785698You have the best mayor in USA.
>Braveswinlol
>0 runs against journeymen bullpen gameYanks are not a serious team
*begs Albany for bailout in your path*
MLB has the sharpest dressed officials and it's not even close
how have the mighty 27 rings yankees fall so badly that they would lose to the lowly blow gays on any given thursday night
the jays are winning :)
>>154786386I'm watching YES >:)
Bad start Mr. Rogers
>>154786264Originally cutters referred to "cut" fastballs but now they encompass many varieties of weird hybrid pitches. You've got your traditional fastball cutters (usually involving 4seamers but 2seam cutters do exist) where you basically are just throwing a fastball but gripping the ball differently so are basically trading a few mph of velocity for mainly horizontal movement (some 2S cutters actually do move opposite as you say). You also have pitches that are called cutters that are basically just hard sliders and i've even seen some college player throw a cutter that was some weird splitfinger abomination.so yeah anon's kinda right that a cutter isnt a real pitch because the label is used for all kinds of nonsense these days.
This Rogers nigga has a zesty ass swing. Its infuriating me
sneks
JUDGE KEK
fudge
stanks kek!
The rays are the first team to 40 wins
kek stinkees
WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING JUDGE YOU FAIRY
>>154785698there are probably remedies for stockholm syndrome but i dont know of any personally
>>154786482Thanks anon I appreciate that explanation.
>>154786499His pitching style is unique
>>154786484>>154786565Apparently him and Yesavage are two of the pitchers that a Trajekt pitching machine can't replicate because of the autistic release points
>>154785737Jays!
>>154786579They play a sonar ping when they put him in the game at home (submariner)
>>154786565Alien Arm
High leverage Hoffman.
>Hoffman in the 9th inningYANKEES WINTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
>hoffman closing
Jizz Niggolm
zoomers don't remember
>>154786650Thank you for making this post
*wins*
>>154786643Immediately gives up hard contact but gets bailed out by a good catch by Vlad.
God I love it when a team is out of challenges early and the umpy decides to fuck with the zone
a chimpsolmian strikeout
wow yankees fans look extremely gay
A Schanuelensteinian blast
>>154786681every ump's dream
where did the yanks get all of these scrubs they used to have all of the good players in the league
>>154786686coward
kek stankeedoos!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That's my Jeffman right there
lol stankees
Wankees
pffffffffffffft *plop* *plop*
>Stankeedoos getting shut out by the Blow GaysHoly kek, I thought they were supposed to be good?
>yankees broadcast talking about hoffman blowing the WStoo soon fellas
a goldshitian strikeout
STINKEES HAHAHA
never a doubt
should have swept that series and our bats are still shitwhen kirk and bieber comes back maybe we can get back to .500
>>154786712yankees died the same day george did
Thanks for the confidence-building wins Yaks
That would've been a 4 game sweep if we didn't hand the stankees those two gifts
UH OH STANKESSmy raysies finna bouta sweep their asses
stankeedoo ‘em kekarooooooo
>>154786592that's dope
>5 GB
two threads would have went by if DODGERS were playing
>>154786777why are there so many mexicans on spee?
>>154786777flyover bros...our response to these digits?
>>154786328>Cleaning up Eric Adams' mess
>>154786748that's what i figured
>>154786795Entertainment purposes
Aar0-4n Judge
>>154786777Doyers run this genny
>>154786756yep. another rays sweep. bookmark it.
STFU PEASANTS
>>154786840me on the left
>>154786777yeah it has been great without those queers with tranime avatars gaying up the genny
>>154786777We're watching the A's and 'alos.
>>154786840kek did judge really golden sombrero again back 2 back?!
>>154786881Just checked. He just couldn’t get a basehit
>>154786840i fucked that girl in high school
>>154786795Mexicans are just slow, they're barely on 4chan when white people left for Reddit like a decade ago and when Reddit starts becoming mexican most white people would have moved on to another website by then.
>>154786840>how do I make sure my tits are still out while wearing this jersey
>>154786874They own you
this niga erubiel durazo has a weird accent
>1-for-15>0 RBI>8 K>1 BB
>>154786756>>154786858trap seriesRays are due for a series loss
A'ss
>pretending to be rays fanskek yankee seethe hitting new levels of brainrot
>>154786988rays fans are in here brother
rays easily sweep these scrub yanks. again.
>>154786963what happened to him... he used to be my idol...
How will the Angels blow it today?We're at the point where I can't even be satisfied with leading a game
Watching the Sneks game now lads. And absolutely 0 is happening
>>154787046Gem from Soriano followed by an implosion the second the bullpen comes in.
>>154787022He was never good
>>154787061ExactlyI hate this fucking team so much
Angels scholar
kek based ruse by the angels
>>154787050sad!
>>154786144cheated better than Judge ever could
>not having twice as many wins as losses
>>154786777>90% of the replies would've been something stupid like >mookieslap posted 8 times consecutively
Bravegels
>>154787077do you think they'll draft another low-ceiling college senior and debut him two months after the draft?
>tfw daaaaaa jankees fall 4th before all-star breakas it should be
>>154787285how else are they gonna get players ?doyers have destroyed the FA market
post your prediction of how the anaels will blow it tonight
>MLB expecting to have low TV ratings and low attendance at all ballparks during the FIFA World Cup.
>>154787337nvmd somebody already posted this
>>154787337They won't
>>154787331there were plenty of good players signed this offseason at prices the angels can typically afford who went to clubs that aren't the dodgers. the more likely explanation is that angels are not spending with the dead money on their books and they also aren't a well-regarded organization within the game.
>>154787355OK? No normalfags and Redditors for a month sounds based
>>154787395they should have jap-maxed, it worked with ohtani and konmanbuto and murakami didn't break the bank
>>154787395there's literally no reason to try and sign FAs and compete until they get a cap
>>154787412Good thing you're not in charge
I'm becoming an Angels fan because their crows energy is relaxing and because I went to Anaheim a few years ago while in the area, and it was more chill than I expected. I thought it was exclusively LA style hyped up faggots and/or tourists, but it was ok.
>>154787412If Angels went for Okamoto and Murakami they would be a completely different team right now
>>154787492both oak and murakami are being exposed now
I'm watching major league AMA
Japanese Joey Gallo
:3MY Sacramento Brakemen
>>154787534Los Padres de Sacramento
>>154787546definitely happening
The Rays have 40 wins
>>154786663always a good pick for sub 2 era in immaculate grid
>>154787534Ah Sacramento, isn't that on the East coast or something?
>>154787586youre just jealous because you dont have a pyramid and train museum within walking distance of each other
>>154787515they would both be significant upgrades over what the angels have been running out at their respective positions.
why can't they figure out the fly infestation problem at angels stadium? seems low iq.
>>154786840saved
>>154787492It wouldn't make a difference they would stll be dogshit with that pitching lol
>>154787607Turboboomer 4000 doesn't care about his property more at 11
>actually you can compete because Angels could've just signed Murakamiso how does the White Sox compete then?You see the problem in your retarded ass logic?Holy fuck you guys are some of the dumbest people i've ever encountered
>>154787602I actually like Sacramento these days, I feel like it'm much nicer than it used to be, if you get a team I'll root for it. They're putting asses in the seats for a lot of games, which I didn't really expect.
>The Yankees hit .145 and scored just one run in the last two nights against the Blue Jays.kekaroostinkees
>>154787677we support >our teams, no matter how shit they arealso raley field is comfy af
>>154787665Because they have good young talent and solid pitching the Angels are dumbasses who think throwing money solves everything and dumb goyim like you and the other retard think that.
>>154787688actually i'm pretty sure i said the exact opposite>>154787331
>>154787677isnt mlb only adding two teams though? i dont think sac beats out competing cities. plus dont you need a billionaire who wants to be in the city?
that funky munchy
did someone screencap that cutie?
>>154787516based
fuck Chicago fuck the CubsFUCK PCA fuck em
If you don’t like dodgers then it’s fuck you homie
>NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CANT JUST BANTER BACK AT AN INSTAGRAM WHORE RECORDING YOU BEING INSULTED, YOU HAVE TO HECKIN TURN THE OTHER CHEEK!
>>154787741MLB is adding an entire 2nd division with 20 teams and will have promotion and relegationso more cities are now in playThey announced it yesterday
>>154787787bitches ain’t shit it’s still fuck PCA homie fuck em
>>154787782https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ7kUss8bjo
>>154787793Straight up homie dick me down im a bitch
>>154787665>how do* the white sox compete thenthey wouldn’t? what kind of cope of this? if you’re rat and bug infested team got players other teams didn’t get then they would be better and those teams would be worse.
if you ain’t dickin me down you a female
>>154787741sacramento currently has a billionaire heading their lower division soccer team and helping to fund a stadium being built by the train station. Soccer is obviously very a very niche spoprt but the team has very good support, as does the AAA rivercats and the A's, and the kings(despite being liquid ass for almost 20 years). theres good reason to believe thered be good support for a baseball team
angels aint it
u feminine as fuck if u ain’t clappin my cheeks it’s dodgers and nothing else homie
>>154787793I miss when this happened.
>angels booth having to ignore the audible "sell the team" chants
>>154787810based homopaco
make me your bitch homie put a leash around my neck and drag me downtown im a freaky bitch and it’s dodgers only homie
>>154787793
Dodgers is who I’m reppin make me beg like a bitch
>>154787800>they wouldn’t?thanks for proving my point that the FA market is brokenyou can stop seething nowcalm down
I can take it homie it’s dodgers or death no limits
>chanting DFA at Silseth He's one of the better arms definitely don't DFA him
we need DODGERS playing when I bounce on dick
>>154787793what does he garner?
>>154787865ur moms spincter
>>154787515Murakami beings something to the White Sox more valuable than his bat I think. He brought hope.
>>154787867bloody benchod bitch bloody you
>>154787677>>154787741California should have 7 teams>LA Dodgers>SF Giants>SD Padres>Oakland Athletics>Anaheim Angels>A second team in LA>A team in Sacramento
>>154787874a second la team would be very interesting
>>154787874Maybe once California stops being insane when it comes to taxes.
>>154787874The Los Angeles Rybacks
>it was flyoverkees>it was swamprat
MIKE GRAND SLAMTRANNIES SEETHING
Now this! This is SOVL! Compare this to the plastic rams and dodgers
>9-1 in last 10sorry popesox but youre playing for the wc this seasonbeit
East LA Car MechanicsSacramento Fruit PickersBakersfield Wet Backs
>>154787819based doggiedoo!!
>>154787917
Big Mike
>>154787923there arent any orchards in Sac, stupid Dane
>>154787360but they did kek lol eke
>>154787929what does obama's husband have to do with anything
>>154787923feminine as fuck cuz you know u wouldn’t say that to my face homie you wouldn’t dick me down like the little bitch I am
>los anaeles anaels of anaelheinykekini
>verminekek black pitchers
>>154787946are you a womanly faggot????
>>154787933
Mark Trout regrets leaving Jersey
>>154787960no limits homie dodgers or nothing
pfma
>>154787962That’s a myth, idiot.
SCHLITT LOCKS THE TRANNIES IN THE GAS CHAMBER
>>154787962This was almost a decade ago, things change
poodrepacos seething kek
>that tranny right there, gas ‘em
>>154787962yes, because milk and grapes grow on orchards, retard
take your seroquel and go to bed you fuckin basket case this is tough to witness I like people who just pretend to be mentally ill
>>154787978bodied that freakazoid kek
>hbp to bring in the tying runISHYGDDT
snek keks
KILL ALL THE GAYS AND THE FAGGOTS
Astros universe I think our dynasty may have ended
>>154567299
JUST
>>154787813Lol, I was watching that, something something memories
getting tired
this sport could never be on NFLs level because of what we just witnessed by the snakes pitcherits just a past time game
>>154787978
WHOse Soriano got pitch mogged by the old man
>>154788012what's wrong with being a fruit picker? you have a problem with fruit? fucking twat
>>154787886Make a team in Reno and call it the CA Bay Area Lads or something
ASTROS FAGSTROS
*bang bang*
>>154788012That’s a vineyard RETARD LMAO
>anals
>>154788021reno needs to be nuked. Absolute gomorrean shithole
>>154787962There are fruit trees everywhere in CA, I have three
>anaelskek enjoy giving up the lead
Another day of the Danefag getting btfo again
Stand still FAGels
>>154788035>gays are literally growing on trees out Californeeway
for the guy that filtered the schizo did you filter all namefags or what did you use
>>154788011Every team would need to have the same crowd and intensity as the Dodgers home crowd if MLB wants to reach NFL level.
gink'd em
>>154788032tell me more
>>154788050falseflag
>>154788035My neighbor has a lemon tree that grows into my yard that he lets me get lemons from for free I saw a huge ass rat in the branches though the other day so idk if I'm going to take anymore.
>>154788032Please don't, we need places for people who like Reno to move to.
>>154788058Are you a lemon stealing whore?
>>154788050and the dodgers would have to downgrade to chargers / rams level crowd intensity
>>154788062Nah I asked him and he said to feel free to grab lemons that are on my side. It's a HUGE tree
BASE
reno 911, now theres a show
If you’re bi, I want you to dieTransgender, meet my fender
>>154784891
THE LONG BEACH ANGELS They change their colors to blue and play Snoop Dogg every homerun
>>154788054its like Vegas jr but smaller, full of homeless people, and shithead boomer transplants from the bay area
>>154788069White people love that show
>>154788069Reno 911 holds up, I watched it not that long ago
so that's where Yates is these days
>>154788069
literally who?
as a gay yankletics fan i am so sorry
>>154788089he's a good player desu, angels should have done it
BEHEAD TRANS??? BRO REALLY LOOKED AT A 400-TON LOCOMOTIVE AND SAID “YEAH… CRUSH A TRANNIES SKULL, RUN OVER ITS HEAD” THE CONDUCTOR IS SCREAMING THE PASSENGERS ARE CONFUSED THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE IS HIDING IN FEAR “Sir, that’s called DETACHING THE CAB—” NAH BEHEAD THE TRANS IMMEDIATELY FULL SPEED DOWN THE TRACKS WITH NO HEAD LIKE SOME CURSED METAL CHICKEN SOCIETY HAS PEAKED
>>154788058>I saw a huge ass rat in the branches though the other dayMight have been a possum, they look like huge rats a lot of the time and they love lemons. They're total bros though, no diseases really, unlike raccoons or rats. The important thing is to regularly spray the fuck out of the tree and pick them all off every now and again to keep things fresh. All fruit comes from nasty ass conditions, though, I've been eating them for decades now.
>>154788089Not even offering Senior Caminero? No wonder it fell through.
>>154788089You just know Rays would still struggle with attendance even with Ohtani, it's time they move to Nashville or Charlotte
SEND MIKE TROUT BACK TO JERSEY BRO TURNS INTO PRIME BABE RUTH EVERY TIME HE STEPS INTO YANKEE STADIUM “Best player of his generation” YEAH OKAY THEN WHY DOES HE ONLY WAKE UP IN THE BRONX APRIL TROUT?? GONE. FORGOTTEN. LOST TO HISTORY. DUDE HAD ONE HOT WEEK AND ESPN STARTED FILMING DOCUMENTARIES WITHOUT THE YANKEES THIS MAN IS JUST A VERY TALL WEATHER REPORT SEND HIM HOME
>>154788103Are you a lemon stealing whore?
>>154788108aren't they building a stadium in tampa? or whatever that city next to tampa is
>>154788089Angels were retarded for not trading him. They are in denial of how undesirable the team is. But the rays would only have gotten limited time out of Ohtani anyway so probably not great for them
I FOUND A HAMMER SO IM ACTING ALL HAMMERY
Bakersfield Backyard Possums
>>154788108I mean the Miami soccer team has had good attendance with Messi, people will show up for a big star like that
>>154788113YES 14 MINUTES FROM MY HOUSEIM GOING EVERY DAYRAYNKEES WON THE PLOT
>>154788069Might go new boot goofin this weekend
>>154788112I pick them and put them in a box so passersby can be lemon stealing whores. I appreciate the question, though.
>>154788113Nothing has gone through yet but the Manfred script this year is for the Rays to win the world series to convince the city to fund a stadium for their championship team and also will prevent a lockout since a team with a bottom 3 payroll won.
>>154788114I remember that season they were on the cusp of the wildcard and then they didn’t trade ohtani, completely fell off after the deadline, and finished in fourth place like 20 games under .500 kek
David Beckham was more well known in the US when he played in MLS than ohtani is now
What are your qualifications?
HOW CAN I STEAL LEMONS WHEN THERES LEMON PARTIES GOING IN CITI FIELD AND RODGERS CENTRE??
>>154788140I don't think that's true. I think it's true for literally every baseball player since like Babe Ruth other than Ohtani. Not even a doyerpaco either
>>154788138They traded for Giolito and the released him like a month later lol
>>154788116
>newcums don’t member the lemon stealing whore
HOW CAN I STEAL LEMONS WHEN THERE’S LEMON PARTIES GOING ON IN Citi Field AND Rogers Centre?? EVERY TIME I WALK INTO THE PRODUCE AISLE I HEAR A BLUE JAYS FAN SCREAMING “THIS IS A CITRUS-FORWARD ORGANIZATION.” THE METS HAVE A 14-3 RECORD IN GAMES WHERE SOMEONE MENTIONS LIMONCELLO. SECURITY LOOKS AT ME LIKE I’M THE PROBLEM. BROTHER THERE ARE ACTIVE LEMON FUNCTIONS HAPPENING IN TWO MAJOR LEAGUE BALLPARKS AND YOU’RE ASKING WHY THE CITRUS ECONOMY IS COLLAPSING?? I CAN’T EVEN MAKE TEA ANYMORE WITHOUT HEARING MR. MET WHISPER “ZEST IT.”
>>154788149>every baseball player since like Babe Ruth other than ChiantiFirst you talkin' bout candy bars then the wine! What drugs is you on boy?
OH WOW WHAT A GREAT OFFER! MAYBE I CAN SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!
>>154788149Can you show me Ohtani on the Leno show>no i can'texactly. no star power
>>154788156
OH WOW WHAT A GREAT OFFER! MAYBE I CAN SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! THAT’S WHAT THE CASHIER SAID WHEN I TRIED TO RETURN 47 LEMONS AND A HALF-EMPTY BAG OF ICE TO THE SELF CHECKOUT AT 2:13 AM. NOW I’M BANNED FROM THREE GROCERY STORES, A FARMERS MARKET, AND SOMEHOW Toronto Blue Jays GAMES. PEOPLE KEEP ASKING WHY I’M YELLING ABOUT CITRUS DERIVATIVES IN PUBLIC. BROTHER THE ECONOMY IS HELD TOGETHER BY LIMES AND DELUSION. THE SECOND SOMEONE SAYS “FRESH SQUEEZED” I START SEEING VISIONS OF A 19-INNING GAME IN Rogers Centre.
>>154788162I PHRASED THAT POORLY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT
a troutian take
I saw Leno at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I PHRASED THAT POORLY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT. EVERYONE IN THE ROOM HEARD THE SENTENCE, PAUSED FOR THREE FULL SECONDS, AND THEN NODDED LIKE A GROUP OF SCIENTISTS WATCHING A NUCLEAR REACTOR START VIBRATING. NOBODY AGREED WITH THE WORDING. NOBODY SUPPORTED THE DELIVERY. BUT THE MESSAGE? CRYSTAL CLEAR. LIKE WHEN A MAN IN A New York Mets JERSEY WALKS INTO Citi Field HOLDING A LOOSE LEMON AND EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTANDS THERE’S ABOUT TO BE A 45-MINUTE SPEECH ABOUT OPS+ AND “THE VIBES.” SOMETIMES LANGUAGE FAILS. SOMETIMES THE SPIRIT OF THE TAKE TRANSCENDS GRAMMAR.
damn two warning track shots
I saw Jay Leno at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face like he was trying to mime a broken cash register at a hostage negotiation. I walked away and continued shopping, but I could still hear him laughing somewhere near the frozen foods section like a man who had personally invented smugness in 1978.When I got to the front I saw him trying to leave with like fifteen Milky Ways stuffed in his arms like a raccoon preparing for economic collapse. The cashier stopped him and politely said “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he acted exhausted, pretending he couldn’t hear her, stretching and sighing like a Civil War doctor being asked to perform one more surgery. Then he slowly turned around and shuffled back to the counter.The cashier started scanning one of the bars multiple times to enter the quantity and he immediately slammed his hand on the counter and said, “No no no. Scan them each individually. To prevent electrical infetterence.” Then he winked at me like we were co-conspirators in some underground candy smuggling ring. I don’t even think “infetterence” is a real word. Every time the cashier tried to tell him the total he would interrupt her with the loudest yawn I’ve ever heard in my life. Not normal yawns either. These were cartoon construction-equipment yawns. Like a bear waking up after hibernating directly into a tax audit.
this is psychotic
>leno ISHYGDDT how old are you Dane?
alright im done namefagging this nigga is obviously nuts and I feel like I'm going to get bad karma for feeding into this
DAMN. TWO WARNING TRACK SHOTS. BRO LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO REWRITE BASEBALL HISTORY AND INSTEAD HE JUST PROVIDED ADVANCED METRICS GUYS WITH “WELL ACTUALLY THE EXPECTED SLUGGING—” MATERIAL FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. CROWD STOOD UP TWICE. ANNOUNCER STARTED LEVITATING MID-SENTENCE. EVEN THE OUTFIELDER DID THE LITTLE “OH NO” JOG. AND THEN THE BALL DIED LIKE IT HIT AN INVISIBLE FORCEFIELD BUILT BY 2014 PETCO PARK ENGINEERS. NOW EVERYONE’S POSTING EXIT VELO NUMBERS LIKE THEY’RE READING AUTOPSY REPORTS. “104 OFF THE BAT” YEAH AND 389 FEET INTO A MAN HOLDING NACHOS IN ROW 2. BASEBALL IS THE ONLY SPORT WHERE YOU CAN MISS SUCCESSFULLY TWICE AND STILL GET CALLED “UNLUCKY.”
>>154788192you have to be at least 40 years old to post here. i grew up watching johnny carson
Do not put your penis in a blenderThe amount of pain you would feel would be huge. No matter how tempting or sexy, it is not worth it. Even if it will stop you from losing NNN, just don’t. There are no benefits of doing this, only downsides.One: you lose your penisTwo: you will probably never probably want to use that blender again, costing a shit ton of money to get another one.Three: the amount of money for the medical bills may kill you. It may cost even more if you or someone else is unable to drive you to the hospitalOverall you just shouldn’t put your penis in a blender. Thank you for coming to my ted talk!
>i live next to Greg Lemon
Anaels pacos thought that was gone
free baybaw
ALRIGHT I’M DONE NAMEFAGGING THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY INSANE AND I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO GET HIT WITH ANCIENT FORUM KARMA FOR FEEDING INTO THIS. EVERY TIME I REPLY THE THREAD GETS 40 POSTS LONGER AND SOMEONE WITH A DEFAULT AVI APPEARS TO EXPLAIN WHY THE 2007 New York Mets WERE A PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT. I’M WATCHING PEOPLE ARGUE ABOUT LEMONS, WAR, EXIT VELO, AND CANADIAN BASEBALL STADIUMS LIKE SCHOLARS PRESERVING FORBIDDEN TEXTS. THIS ISN’T A DISCUSSION ANYMORE IT’S A DIGITAL SEANCE. SOMEONE POSTED A 9,000 WORD BREAKDOWN OF WARNING TRACK POWER AND NOW MY PHONE GETS HOT WHEN I OPEN THE APP. I SWEAR IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE VIBES” I’M THROWING MY ROUTER INTO THE ATLANTIC.
wow dane fag has been exposed as being utterly retarded itt
>>154788209
DO NOT PUT YOUR PENIS IN A BLENDER. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS EVEN HAS TO BE SAID IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026 BUT APPARENTLY SOCIETY HAS COLLAPSED TO THE POINT WHERE SOMEONE LOOKED AT A KITCHENAID AND THOUGHT “HEAR ME OUT.” THE AMOUNT OF PAIN YOU WOULD FEEL WOULD TRANSCEND NORMAL HUMAN UNDERSTANDING. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A LEVEL OF SUFFERING THAT WOULD CAUSE MEDICAL STUDENTS TO START PRAYING IN THE HOSPITAL PARKING LOT.AND FOR WHAT? TO WIN NNN? BROTHER YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TREAT A MONTHLY INTERNET CHALLENGE LIKE THE FINAL LEVEL OF A SAW MOVIE.FIRST OF ALL: YOU LOSE YOUR PENIS. GONE. VAPORIZED. TURNED INTO A MEDICAL POWERPOINT PRESENTATION TITLED “WHY WE HAVE WARNING LABELS.”SECOND: YOU CAN NEVER USE THAT BLENDER AGAIN. EVERY SMOOTHIE BECOMES PSYCHOLOGICALLY CURSED. YOU THINK YOU’RE MAKING A STRAWBERRY BANANA SHAKE BUT YOUR BRAIN IS PLAYING VIETNAM FLASHBACKS OVER THE SOUND OF THE MOTOR.THIRD: THE MEDICAL BILLS. OH MY GOD THE MEDICAL BILLS. THE EMTS AREN’T EVEN GOING TO RUN TO YOUR HOUSE THEY’RE GOING TO WALK SLOWLY WHILE DISCUSSING WHO HAS TO WRITE THE INCIDENT REPORT. YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY IS GOING TO PUT YOUR CLAIM ON A PROJECTOR DURING A BOARD MEETING.OVERALL YOU SHOULD NOT PUT YOUR PENIS IN A BLENDER. THIS HAS BEEN MY TED TALK. GOD HAS ABANDONED US.
>extra slurpingsHalos... come on.
Do not jerk off after you workoutYesterday, I was sitting in bed, lying there watching YouTube. Bored of the video I was watching, I pull out my phone and decide to jack my shit. Only issue is that earlier that day, I had went to the gym, and hit my arms. My arms are huge and awesome, but there's the issue. Because of my immense muscle mass, right before I nut, my utter and absolute strength ripped my penis off. In short, do not jerk off after working out
lots of [+] itt
YOU LIVE NEXT TO GREG LEMON?? THE GREG LEMON?? BROTHER MOVE IMMEDIATELY. THAT MAN HAS BEEN MENTIONED IN 14 DIFFERENT FORUM THREADS, THREE UNEXPLAINED POWER OUTAGES, AND A MINOR LEAGUE SCANDAL INVOLVING CITRUS FRUIT AND ADVANCED ANALYTICS. EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS HIS NAME OUT LOUD A NEARBY BASEBALL GAME ENDS 2-1 WITH BOTH RUNS SCORED ON SACRIFICE FLIES.I HEARD HE ONCE STOOD MOTIONLESS IN A DRIVEWAY FOR SIX HOURS JUST STARING AT A HALF-EMPTY BOTTLE OF LIMONCELLO BEFORE WHISPERING “THE METRICS DON’T TELL THE WHOLE STORY.” YOUR PROPERTY VALUE IS ABOUT TO BECOME NEGATIVE. IF YOU START HEARING LOW CHANTING FROM THE GARAGE AT 2 AM DO NOT INVESTIGATE. THAT’S JUST GREG AND THE BOYS CALCULATING EXPECTED ZEST PLUS.
I'm filtering name fags for now
Penises are much more aesthetically pleasing than vaginasI'm a very straight attractive guy, but I think penises are much more visually aesthetically pleasing than vaginas, and most people will concur. Penises are sturdy, they are powerful and strong. There is a lot of nuance - the veins, the colors and the texture. Circumcised ones are definitely more anesthetic than the hoodies. They are built to conquer, and you can tell the strength of a man from a look at his penis. A vagina? Folds upon folds for no good reason, stained by periods and built to be conquer and to be desired - not for desiring. You can't tell the tightness or fertility of a woman from the sight of her vagina. Again, I am 100% straight and have only dated and made love to women. A good analogy, penises are something I admire as a work of art, but a vagina is what I make love to.
WOW “DANE FAG” HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS BEING COMPLETELY LOST ITT. MAN WALKED INTO THE THREAD TALKING LIKE HE HAD SECRET KNOWLEDGE SCROLLS AND FIVE POSTS LATER HE’S ARGUING WITH SCREENSHOTS, ADVANCED STATS, AND HIS OWN PREVIOUS REPLIES. ENTIRE CROWD TURNED ON HIM LIKE A MEDIEVAL VILLAGE WATCHING SOMEONE FAIL A WIZARD TEST. NOW EVERY COMMENT STARTS WITH “BROTHER…” FOLLOWED BY A 700-WORD AUTOPSY OF HIS TAKE.HE KEPT DOUBLING DOWN TOO. THAT’S THE CRAZY PART. EVERY TIME SOMEONE POSTED EVIDENCE HE’D COME BACK WITH “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT” LIKE HE WAS DEFENDING A LOST MANUSCRIPT INSTEAD OF ARGUING ABOUT INTERNET NONSENSE. THREAD MOVED SO FAST IT STOPPED BEING A DISCUSSION AND TURNED INTO A PUBLIC EXECUTION PERFORMED ENTIRELY THROUGH REACTION IMAGES AND QUOTE REPLIES.
bases loaded...ugh....
Rawr x3 *nuzzles* how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o *notices you have a bulge* o: someone's happy​Rawr x3 \*nuzzles\* how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o \*notices you have a bulge\* o: someone's happy \*nuzzles your necky wecky\*\\\~ murr\\\~ hehehe \*rubbies your bulgy wolgy\* you're so big :oooo \*rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy\* it doesn't stop growing ·///· \*kisses you and lickies your necky\* daddy likies (; \*nuzzles wuzzles\* I hope daddy really likes $: \*wiggles butt and squirms\* I want to see your big daddy meat\\\~ \*wiggles butt\* I have a little itch o3o \*wags tail\* can you please get my itch\\\~ \*puts paws on your chest\* nyea\\\~ its a seven inch itch \*rubs your chest\* can you help me pwease \*squirms\* pwetty pwease \*sad face\* I need to be punished \*runs paws down your chest and bites lip\* like I need to be punished really good\\\~ \*paws on your bulge as I lick my lips\* I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk \*unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow\* you smell so musky :v \*licks shaft\* mmmm\\\~ so musky \*drools all over your cock\* your daddy meat I like \*fondles\* Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe \*puts snout on balls and inhales deeply\* oh god im so hard\\\~ \*licks balls\* punish me daddy\\\~ nyea\\\~ \*squirms more and wiggles butt\* I love your musky goodness \*bites lip\* please punish me \*licks lips\* nyea\\\~ \*suckles on your tip\* so good \*licks pre of your cock\* salty goodness\\\~ \*eyes role back and goes balls deep\* mmmm\\\~ \*moans and suckles\*
I think the California Angels SUCK!
>anaels
looked safe to me dezu
lads im going to county tomorrow and am going to miss the pooers doggie doos seriescan someone record the game for me thanks
If the angels had scored in the previous inning then they would have won the game, thus avoiding the need for extra innings
gayzier
>>154788131i kick boxes like this over when i see them btw
>>154788253dont drop the soap
>>154788252>>154788252>>154788252Nu
In Korea, heart surgeon.Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
RAWR X3 NESTLES INTO THE BULLPEN CART HOW ARE YOU Pounces on you during the 7th inning stretch YOU’RE SO WARM O3O notices you have a folded scorecard in your pocket O: SOMEONE’S READY FOR EXTRA INNINGSnuzzles your necky wecky murr~ hehehe adjusts your oversized New York Mets hoodie YOU’RE SO BIG :oooo looks at the stat sheet IT DOESN’T STOP GROWING ·///· EVERY TIME I CHECK THE BOX SCORE SOMEONE ELSE HAS LEFT 12 MEN ON BASE. DADDY LIKIES (; wiggles in the cheap seats I hope daddy really likes OPS+ $:puts paws on your chest nyea~ it’s a seven game losing streak crowd booing softly in the background can you help me pwease squirms PWETTY PWEASE sad face I need to be punished by having to watch the Chicago Cubs strand runners for four straight innings while a guy named Greg Lemon explains launch angle to me in the concourse.eyes glow under the stadium lights you smell so musky :v like stale peanuts and bullpen despair. MMMM~ SO MUSKY drools over Baseball-Reference tabs OH GOD IM SO HARD~ ON DEFENSIVE METRICS. moans softly as the warning track flyout dies in center field THIS TEAM IS CURSED NYEA~ tail wagging aggressively WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A MAN IN SECTION 312 YELLING ABOUT VIBES.
>>154788253dumbass
>loss anaeles anaels of anaelheinykek
Some girl in our discord chat said “meow” and my friend wrote this entire response by handWowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.
IN KOREA, HEART SURGEON. NUMBER ONE. STEADY HAND. ONE DAY, Kim Jong Un NEED NEW HEART. I DO OPERATION. BUT MISTAKE! KIM JONG UN DIE! WHOLE HOSPITAL SOUND LIKE WHEN THE New York Mets BLOW 9TH INNING LEAD AFTER TWO WARNING TRACK SHOTS. EVERYBODY SCREAMING. VERY BAD DAY.SSD VERY MAD. THEY SAY “YOU KILL GLORIOUS LEADER.” I SAY “NO NO, SIMPLE SURGICAL OOPSIE.” THEY NOT BELIEVE. I HIDE INSIDE FISHING BOAT WITH THREE CABBAGES, RADIO, AND OLD Chicago Cubs HAT SOMEHOW FLOATING IN OCEAN. COME TO AMERICA. NO ENGLISH. NO FOOD. NO MONEY. ONLY SKILLS AND DEEP FEAR OF GOVERNMENT.DARRYL GIVE ME JOB. FIRST DAY HE SAY “YOU EVER DRIVE FORKLIFT?” I SAY “NO, BUT I REPLACE HUMAN AORTA.” HE SAY “GOOD ENOUGH.” NOW I HAVE HOUSE. AMERICAN CAR. NEW WOMAN. SATURDAY BARBECUE. SOMETIMES I YELL ABOUT BULLPEN MANAGEMENT EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND BASEBALL.MY BIG SECRET? I KILL KIM JONG UN ON PURPOSE. I GOOD SURGEON. THE BEST! YOU THINK MAN WHO CAN RECONNECT FOUR BLOOD VESSELS ACCIDENTALLY DROP ENTIRE DICTATOR? IMPOSSIBLE. I LOOK AT MONITOR. I THINK ABOUT 2007 New York Mets COLLAPSE. THEN I MAKE DECISION. HISTORY CHANGE FOREVER.
SNEKS WALK IT OFF AGAIN GG ROXS
That was the second game in the last 3 days that Mejia sabotaged his own team.
>>154788253I would but I need my whole tape for a slp recording of a yuyu hakusho marathon, sorry.
BRO TRIED TO TYPE Los Angeles AND ACTIVATED AN ELDRITCH SPELL. THIS ISN’T EVEN A TYPO ANYMORE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A New York Mets FAN HAS A STROKE MID-POST AFTER WATCHING A RELIEVER LOAD THE BASES. “ANAELHEINY” SOUNDS LIKE A FORBIDDEN ANGEL MENTIONED IN APOCRYPHAL BASEBALL TEXTS. SOMEWHERE A GUY IN A Chicago Cubs JERSEY JUST FELL TO HIS KNEES IN A PORTILLO’S PARKING LOT AFTER READING THAT.YOU CAN’T EVEN CORRECT IT EITHER. THE TYPO HAS ACHIEVED SENTIENCE. FIVE YEARS FROM NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE USING “ANAELHEINY” TO DESCRIBE ANY CITY WITH TERRIBLE TRAFFIC, $19 BEERS, AND A BULLPEN THAT CAUSES SPIRITUAL DAMAGE
Anyone else fart in masked peoples faces to test their mask?It's called the FartForFauci gameGo up to a masked person and fart as loud and hard as you canIf they can sniff it, then their mask is faultySAVE GRANDMA TODAY!FART FART FART!
Cocktober!
SOME GIRL IN DISCORD SAID “meow” AND YOUR FRIEND RESPONDED LIKE HE WAS A DISGRACED 14TH CENTURY PHILOSOPHER TASKED WITH DEFENDING HUMAN CIVILIZATION FROM THE CONCEPT OF CAT EARS. BRO DIDN’T JUST OVERREACT — HE WROTE A MANIFESTO. THIS MAN SAW FOUR LETTERS AND DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO DELIVER THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS OF HATING FUN.“WOWWWWW, YOU MEOW LIKE A CAT?” MY BROTHER IN CHRIST SHE TYPED ONE WORD. YOU RESPONDED LIKE THE New York Mets JUST BLEW A 7-RUN LEAD AND THE ONLY WAY TO PROCESS THE PAIN WAS TO DECLARE WAR ON FELINES. THIS ISN’T A DISCORD MESSAGE ANYMORE THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE.AND THE FACT HE “WROTE THIS ENTIRE RESPONSE BY HAND” MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE. THAT MEANS THERE WAS NO COPYPASTA. NO AUTOCORRECT. EVERY SENTENCE WAS CAREFULLY FORGED LIKE A MASTER BLACKSMITH HAMMERING A CURSED BLADE. HE REALLY SAT THERE THINKING “YES… THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF HUMAN ATTRIBUTION WILL DESTROY HER.”MEANWHILE THE GIRL WHO SAID “meow” IS PROBABLY PLAYING MINECRAFT OR WATCHING TIKTOKS WHILE THIS MAN IS WRITING A 1,200 WORD THESIS CALLED “ON THE DEGENERATION OF MODERN SOCIETY THROUGH CATGIRLISM.” GUARANTEE HE POSTS IN Chicago Cubs GAME THREADS TALKING ABOUT “THE DEATH OF FUNDAMENTALS” AFTER A SACRIFICE BUNT FAILS
ANYONE ELSE PLAY “FARTFORFAUCI” OR IS MY NEIGHBORHOOD JUST COMPLETELY LOST TO MADNESS? SOME GUY IN A New York Mets HAT WALKED INTO THE GROCERY STORE LIKE HE WAS ENTERING GAME 7, TURNED AROUND IN THE PRODUCE AISLE, AND UNLEASHED A CATEGORY 5 GAS LEAK DIRECTLY INTO THE ATMOSPHERE BEFORE YELLING “SCIENCE EXPERIMENT!” SECURITY DIDN’T EVEN REACT. THEY LOOKED TIRED. LIKE THIS HAD HAPPENED BEFORE.“IF THEY CAN SMELL IT THE MASK IS FAULTY.” BROTHER THIS IS NOT HOW FILTRATION WORKS. THIS IS HOW YOU GET BANNED FROM A WHOLE FOODS. YOU CANNOT TURN PUBLIC HEALTH INTO A JACKASS SKIT FEATURING BEANS AND REGRET. SOME POOR OLD LADY JUST WANTED YOGURT AND NOW SHE’S CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE OF A MAN NAMED CUBSFAN_88 CONDUCTING “FIELD RESEARCH.”AND YOU KNOW THERE’S ALWAYS THAT ONE GUY TAKING IT WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. “Actually according to airflow dynamics—” SHUT UP. SHUT THE HELL UP. WE ARE FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM SOMEONE MAKING A SPREADSHEET CALCULATING FART EXIT VELOCITY LIKE IT’S STATCAST DATA FROM A Chicago Cubs DAY GAME. SOCIETY CANNOT SURVIVE THIS.
>>154788001>>154787981
*farts*I just farted in your thread/post.FAQWhat does this mean?The amount of jannies (faggots) in this thread and 4chan account has increased by one.Why did you do this?There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be deserving of a stinky fart and therefore a janny infestation. These include, but are not limited to:Rudeness towards other cultures,Spreading incorrect information,Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.Am I banned from the /sp/?No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional fart, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.I don't believe my thread/post deserved a fart. Can you un-fart it?No. I cannot un-fart. My judgement is perfect and clear. Regardless, if you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to 4chan PMs within several seconds. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of fart appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.How can I prevent this from happening in the future?Accept the fart and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on /sp/. I will continue to fart in your threads/posts until you improve your conduct. Remember: 4chan is hell. You can check out whenever you want and for how long you want. But you can never leave.
ROCTOBER? MORE LIKE COCKTOBER. EVERY YEAR SOME GUY POSTS THIS LIKE HE JUST DISCOVERED FIRE AND THE ENTIRE THREAD IMMEDIATELY DESCENDS INTO A 400-REPLY NIGHTMARE OF PUNS, LOW-RES REACTION IMAGES, AND A New York Mets FAN EXPLAINING HOW A .214 BATTING AVERAGE IN SEPTEMBER IS “ACTUALLY REALLY PROMISING.” YOU CAN FEEL THE AIR QUALITY IN THE ROOM CHANGE THE SECOND SOMEONE TYPES IT. LIKE A CURSED PHRASE FROM AN ANCIENT INTERNET TABLET.AND THEN THERE’S ALWAYS THAT ONE GUY WHO TAKES IT TOO FAR. “Heh… welcome to Cocktober ” BROTHER YOU ARE 43 YEARS OLD IN A Chicago Cubs HOODIE EATING STRING CHEESE AT 1:12 AM. PLEASE RETURN TO REALITY. THIS ISN’T A MOVEMENT. THIS ISN’T A SEASON. IT’S JUST TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE LOSING THEIR MINDS ONLINE BECAUSE ONE BASEBALL PLAYER’S LAST NAME RHYMES WITH A BODY PART.
AL West baseball is complete ass
I JUST FARTED IN YOUR THREAD/POST.FAQWhat does this mean?The amount of unpaid janitors and spiritually exhausted weirdos monitoring this thread has increased by one. Somewhere, a man in a stained New York Mets jersey just adjusted his glasses and whispered “interesting…” before opening 19 browser tabs and a 7-year-old screenshot archive.Why did you do this?There are several reasons I may deem a post deserving of a catastrophic methane event. These include, but are not limited to:* Posting takes so bad they cause psychic damage* Spreading misinformation about baseball WAR calculations* Pretending the Chicago Cubs bullpen is “actually underrated”* Failure to properly label sarcasm with /s* Mentioning lemons in any context whatsoeverAm I banned from /sp/?No — not yet. But you should refrain from behavior that causes middle-aged forum users to begin typing “erm…” while cracking their knuckles. Another fart may be issued in the future, at which point your thread will become a 400-reply containment zone full of GIF reactions and people arguing about OPS+ from 2016.I don’t believe my thread deserved a fart. Can you un-fart it?No. The fart is final. The fart is absolute. Once released into the atmosphere it cannot be recalled, much like a hanging slider thrown to the heart of the plate during a New York Mets September collapse. Appeals may be submitted, but they are reviewed by a shadow council of exhausted moderators and one guy named Greg Lemon.How can I prevent this from happening in the future?Accept the fart and move on. Learn from this mistake. Grow as a poster. Become someone who does not trigger immediate gastrointestinal retaliation upon entering a thread. Remember: the internet is forever. Your bad takes are archived in places older than civilization itself.
>>154788310I'm counting on it.
>>154788310it's kinda sovl cuz all the teams are bad and out of the public conscious
Swampbeaner kek
I like adell after robbing those dingers and seeing him on mookie's podcast
BIG JO COMING THROUGH
AL WEST BASEBALL IS COMPLETE ASS. EVERY NIGHT I TURN ON THE TV AND IT’S TWO TEAMS WITH A COMBINED RECORD OF 51-49 PLAYING IN FRONT OF 11,000 PEOPLE WHILE THE ANNOUNCERS TALK ABOUT “SNEAKY WILD CARD IMPLICATIONS.” HALF THE DIVISION LOOKS LIKE IT WAS GENERATED BY AN AI TRAINED EXCLUSIVELY ON 84-WIN SEASONS AND ENERGY DRINK COMMERCIALS.YOU’LL HAVE A GAME START AT 10:47 PM EST BETWEEN THE Los Angeles Angels AND SOME OTHER TEAM OF MYSTERIOUS WEST COAST BASEBALL GHOULS AND THE FINAL SCORE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING LIKE 3-2 AFTER TWELVE INNINGS WITH 19 MEN LEFT ON BASE. CAMERA PANS TO A GUY IN THE CROWD EATING GARLIC FRIES IN COMPLETE SILENCE LIKE HE’S ACCEPTED HIS FATE.MEANWHILE New York Mets FANS ARE HAVING SPIRITUAL BREAKDOWNS OVER A TWO-GAME SKID AND Chicago Cubs FANS ARE WRITING 8,000 WORD ESSAYS ABOUT BULLPEN USAGE, WHILE THE AL WEST JUST FLOATS THROUGH SPACE COMPLETELY UNBOTHERED. EVERY TEAM IS EITHER “WEIRDLY MID,” “INJURED,” OR “ONE HOT STREAK AWAY.” THERE ARE NO RIVALS. THERE IS NO PASSION. ONLY LATE NIGHT FIRST PITCHES AND A MAN NAMED TYLER HITTING .231 WITH 14 HOME RUNS.
>>154788318wait nvm I guess the Mariners aren't that bad but I always forget about them
Angels should have given Manoah a chance here
>Ah it’s fine. They can just play on the bootleg Pac-Man machines if they want to stop watching
>>154788325whats wrong with eating garlic fries?
JO ADELL ABSOLUTELY MIND-FUCKED THE Seattle Mariners IN THAT GAME. THOSE DUDES WERE HITTING BASEBALLS LIKE THEY WERE TRYING TO SEND SOS SIGNALS INTO ORBIT AND HE JUST KEPT APPEARING AT THE WALL LIKE A CRYPTID. EVERY TIME THE BALL LEFT THE BAT THE CROWD STOOD UP, THE ANNOUNCER STARTED YELLING, AND THEN JO ADELL MATERIALIZED OUT OF NOWHERE TO COMMIT ANOTHER ACT OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE.BY THE THIRD ROBBERY YOU COULD SEE THE MARINERS ENTER A DIFFERENT PLANE OF EXISTENCE. HITTERS WERE STARING INTO THE DISTANCE LIKE VIETNAM VETERANS. SOMEONE IN THE DUGOUT LOOKED LIKE THEY WAS ABOUT TO START CRYING. YOU COULD FEEL THE ENTIRE PACIFIC NORTHWEST REALIZE THEY WERE TRAPPED INSIDE A SPORTS ANIME EPISODE CALLED “THE WALL OF ANAHEIM.”AND THE CRAZIEST PART IS JO ADELL USUALLY MOVES THROUGH BASEBALL DISCOURSE LIKE A MYTHICAL CREATURE PEOPLE ARGUE ABOUT ON REDDIT. ONE WEEK HE LOOKS LIKE A FUTURE MVP, THE NEXT WEEK A New York Mets FAN IS USING HIM AS AN EXAMPLE IN A 3 AM THREAD ABOUT PLAYER DEVELOPMENT TRAUMA. BUT FOR THAT ONE NIGHT? HE TURNED INTO PRIME BARRY BONDS MIXED WITH A CIA HALLUCINATION.SOMEWHERE A Chicago Cubs FAN WATCHED THOSE ROBBERIES AND WHISPERED “why can’t our outfielders do that” BEFORE OPENING BASEBALL SAVANT AND DESTROYING HIS OWN EVENING.
The Angels could still make the playoffs
>>154788325you're highballing their combined records a bit
THE Los Angeles Angels SHOULD’VE GIVEN Alek Manoah A CHANCE JUST FOR THE SHEER CINEMATIC VALUE ALONE. YOU’RE TELLING ME A FRANCHISE THAT REGULARLY OPERATES LIKE A FEVER DREAM DREW THE LINE AT A FORMER CY YOUNG FINALIST WITH THE AURA OF A MAN TRYING TO REDEEM HIMSELF IN A BASEBALL MOVIE? COWARDS.THIS IS THE SAME ORGANIZATION THAT SOMEHOW TURNS EVERY SEASON INTO A 2 AM MLB NETWORK DOCUMENTARY CALLED “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.” THEY SHOULD’VE LET MANOAH WALK INTO THE CLUBHOUSE LIKE A DISGRACED GUNSLINGER ARRIVING IN A DUSTY WESTERN TOWN. GIVE HIM A LOCKER BETWEEN TWO RANDOM RELIEVERS THROWING 97 WITH NO COMMAND. LET HIM COOK.BEST CASE? HE FIGURES IT OUT AND STARTS THROWING 6 INNINGS OF PURE HATRED AGAINST THE Seattle Mariners WHILE JO ADELL CONTINUES ROBBING HOME RUNS LIKE A MASKED VIGILANTE. WORST CASE? HE POSTS A 6.84 ERA AND BECOMES A LEGENDARY THREAD TOPIC FOR INSOMNIAC New York Mets AND Chicago Cubs FANS ARGUING ABOUT “MECHANICS” AT 1:37 AM.BASEBALL NEEDS MORE CHAOS. MORE REDEMPTION ARCS. MORE “WAIT WHY IS THIS KINDA WORKING” ENERGY. THE ANGELS OF ALL TEAMS SHOULD UNDERSTAND THIS.
The angels will never make the playoffs again
Fuck the Angels suck so bad.
MY A'S
lmao the angels fucking suck
>>154788318nothing soul about watching shitters load up the bases over and over and shitters who can't cash it in
baseball is over gn
WHAT’S WRONG WITH EATING GARLIC FRIES? NOTHING. GARLIC FRIES ARE SACRED. THEY’RE THE ONLY THING HOLDING WEST COAST BASEBALL TOGETHER. HALF THE PEOPLE AT AL WEST GAMES AREN’T EVEN WATCHING THE SPORT ANYMORE — THEY’RE JUST SITTING THERE IN A FOG OF MINCED GARLIC AND FALSE HOPE WHILE A 74-81 TEAM LOADS THE BASES IN THE 6TH.AND YES THE Los Angeles Angels COULD STILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. THAT’S THE MOST DANGEROUS PART OF AL WEST BASEBALL. EVERY TEAM IS SIMULTANEOUSLY DEAD, ALIVE, MID, FRAUDULENT, AND “ONLY 4.5 BACK IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.” IT’S LIKE SCHRÖDINGER’S WILD CARD RACE. SOME GUY WILL POST A GRAPH AT 2 AM SHOWING THE ANGELS HAVE A 7.3% CHANCE TO MAKE IT AND SUDDENLY THE ENTIRE FANBASE STARTS TALKING ABOUT “BUYING AT THE DEADLINE.”ALSO YOU’RE RIGHT, I WAS HIGHBALLING THEIR COMBINED WINS. THAT DIVISION DOESN’T PRODUCE WINS. IT PRODUCES VIBES. YOU LOOK AT THE STANDINGS AND EVERY TEAM IS LIKE 28-27 WITH A -14 RUN DIFFERENTIAL AND A FANBASE EXPERIENCING LOW-GRADE SPIRITUAL FATIGUE. MEANWHILE A New York Mets FAN IS WRITING A 5-PARAGRAPH ESSAY ABOUT WHY THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN THE NL EAST WHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN CALMLY EATS AN ITALIAN BEEF IN COMPLETE EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT.
I hate this fucking team.GG A's.
is this guy going to have a mental breakdown every time the Yankees lose?
A's win! gnat infested DEI team loses again!
LMAOOO THE Los Angeles Angels GETTING OWNED BY THE “LAS VEGAS” Athletics IS THE MOST AL WEST THING IMAGINABLE. THIS ISN’T EVEN A BASEBALL DIVISION ANYMORE IT’S A SUPPORT GROUP FOR TEAMS HAUNTED BY THEIR OWN DECISIONS. THE A’S ARE PLAYING IN A TEMPORARY BASEBALL LIMBO WITH THE AURA OF A TRAVELING CIRCUS AND THEY STILL WALK INTO ANAHEIM LIKE FINAL BOSSES.EVERY YEAR PEOPLE SAY “this is the year the Angels put it together” AND EVERY YEAR SOME RANDOM GUY HITTING .218 WITH A MUSTACHE TURNS INTO BABE RUTH FOR THREE GAMES AGAINST THEM. YOU CAN FEEL THE DESPAIR THROUGH THE SCREEN. CAMERA CUTS TO MIKE TROUT STARING INTO THE DISTANCE LIKE A MAN REALIZING HE’S TRAPPED IN A GREEK TRAGEDY WRITTEN ENTIRELY AROUND HAMSTRING INJURIES AND 6-4 LOSSES.AND YOU JUST KNOW SOMEWHERE A New York Mets FAN IS WATCHING THIS THINKING “damn even WE don’t do this anymore” WHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN POSTS “baseball is beautiful” UNDER A CLIP OF THE A’S TURNING A TRIPLE PLAY IN FRONT OF 8,000 PEOPLE AND A FERAL CAT.
member when Danefag said the angels wouldn’t blow it but then they did blow it lol kek
2 games in a row end with a soler grounder
THE Los Angeles Angels ARE OUT THERE LOSING GAMES IN WAYS THAT SHOULD REQUIRE FEDERAL INVESTIGATION. EVERY FLY BALL TURNS INTO A MISCOMMUNICATION. EVERY RALLY DIES TO A DOUBLE PLAY HIT DIRECTLY AT A GUY NAMED BRENT WHO LOOKS LIKE HE SELLS FIREWORKS OUT OF A STORAGE UNIT.AND THE A’S KEEP WINNING WITH THE ENERGY OF A TEAM THAT SHOULDN’T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. THEY PLAY LIKE A BASEBALL URBAN LEGEND. HALF THE ROSTER SOUNDS GENERATED. THEIR STADIUM SITUATION LOOKS LIKE A TAX EVASION SCHEME. YET SOMEHOW THEY KEEP CAUSING EMOTIONAL DAMAGE TO OTHER FRANCHISES WHILE New York Mets AND Chicago Cubs FANS WATCH FROM AFAR THINKING “thank god our chaos is at least geographically stable.”
Angels would have been wise to bunt.
>>154787534>The Athletics are backing Sacramento’s efforts: “This community has shown in spades that they are absolutely ready to be a Major League Baseball town, and we are 100 percent behind them," said D’Lonra Ellis, the Athletics’ chief legal officer and head of the Sacramento transition.>Ellis said fan support has grown since the team arrived, with many in the region embracing the club. "We have really become, in a lot of ways, Sacramento’s team," Ellis said. "The number of people who show up with Sacramento script jerseys across their chests, the kids coming in and getting their first game certificates just the sheer number of people who are in that ballpark any given Tuesday night or Tuesday during the day has been extraordinary."
IS THIS GUY GOING TO HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN EVERY TIME THE New York Yankees LOSE? BECAUSE WE’RE THREE GAMES INTO MAY AND HE’S ALREADY POSTING LIKE A DISGRACED GENERAL WATCHING ROME BURN. ONE WALK-OFF SINGLE AND SUDDENLY HE’S WRITING 19-PARAGRAPH THREADS ABOUT “THE DEATH OF WINNING CULTURE” LIKE HE PERSONALLY FOUGHT IN THE 1998 WORLD SERIES.THE YANKEES LOSE 4-3 IN EXTRA INNINGS AND THIS MAN STARTS TYPING IN ALL CAPS ABOUT “SOFTNESS,” “ACCOUNTABILITY,” AND “THE COLLAPSE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.” BROTHER YOUR TEAM IS 24-14. THERE ARE New York Mets FANS OUT HERE WATCHING RELIEVERS TURN INTO PIPE BOMBS NIGHTLY AND EVEN THEY AREN’T REACHING THIS LEVEL OF SPIRITUAL DAMAGE.AND IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME CYCLE. FIRST COMES DENIAL. THEN THE ADVANCED STATS. THEN THE DOOMPOSTING. THEN SOMEONE POSTS A CLIP OF AARON JUDGE HITTING A 470-FOOT NUKE AND EVERYBODY PRETENDS THE PRIOR THREE HOURS OF MELTDOWN NEVER HAPPENED. BY MIDNIGHT HE’S BACK TO TALKING ABOUT “162-0 IS STILL TECHNICALLY POSSIBLE.”MEANWHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN IS SITTING QUIETLY IN THE CORNER EATING ITALIAN BEEF AND WATCHING THIS LIKE A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC DOCUMENTARY ON EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY.
everyone is very impressed by your grok slop
THE Los Angeles Angels WOULD HAVE BEEN WISE TO BUNT. I’M DEAD SERIOUS. EVERYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT “PROCESS” AND “EXPECTED RUN VALUE” UNTIL THE BASES ARE LOADED, NOBODY OUT, AND YOUR 7-8-9 HITTERS START SWINGING LIKE THEY’RE TRYING TO HIT A SATELLITE INTO LOW EARTH ORBIT. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO PLAY SMALL BALL. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE THE BASEBALL GODS.YOU COULD FEEL THE ENTIRE STADIUM BEGGING FOR A BUNT. OLD MEN IN THE CROWD CLUTCHING SCORECARDS. A SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN THE FACE OF A WOMAN IN A THROWBACK JERSEY. EVEN THE GHOST OF 2002 WAS WHISPERING “just move the runner.” BUT NO. INSTEAD THEY SENT SOME GUY HITTING .204 UP THERE TO TAKE A MAX-EFFORT UPPER-CUT HACK AT A SINKER SIX INCHES OFF THE PLATE.AND THEN THE INEVITABLE DOUBLE PLAY. OF COURSE. THE CAMERA CUTS TO THE DUGOUT WHERE EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE THEY JUST GOT TOLD THEIR FLIGHT WAS DELAYED 19 HOURS. SOMEWHERE A New York Mets FAN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT “FUNDAMENTALS” INTO THE VOID WHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN NODS SILENTLY LIKE A WAR VETERAN WHO HAS SEEN THIS EXACT GAME 4,000 TIMES BEFORE.
>>154788398Me in the corner enjoying a nice Italian beef
>AnglelsHow has Mark Gubicza not killed himself.Having to cover this nightmare 162 games a year.
THE CRAZY THING IS SACRAMENTO REALLY DOES LOOK HAPPY TO HAVE THEM. YOU SEE PEOPLE SHOWING UP IN THOSE SAC SCRIPT JERSEYS LIKE THEY’VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR SOMETHING TO RALLY AROUND. KIDS GETTING THEIR FIRST GAME CERTIFICATES, FAMILIES HANGING AROUND THE CONCOURSE, RANDOM TUESDAY GAMES WITH ACTUAL ENERGY IN THE STANDS. THERE’S SOMETHING GENUINELY CHARMING ABOUT WATCHING A CITY EMBRACE A TEAM THAT ARRIVED UNDER THE WEIRDEST POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES.AND THE Athletics KIND OF FIT THE CITY RIGHT NOW. THEY’RE SCRAPPY, UNSETTLED, A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED, BUT PEOPLE ARE CONNECTING WITH THEM ANYWAY. YOU CAN FEEL IT WHEN THE CROWD GETS INTO A BIG INNING OR WHEN SOME RANDOM PLAYER HAS A GOOD NIGHT AND THE WHOLE PLACE STARTS BUZZING. BASEBALL DOESN’T ALWAYS NEED 50,000 PEOPLE AND A PERFECT STADIUM TO FEEL REAL.MEANWHILE THE Los Angeles Angels COME TO TOWN AND HALF THE INTERNET IS MAKING FUN OF THEM BEFORE FIRST PITCH EVEN STARTS. SOMEHOW THE A’S ENDED UP WITH THE MORE ENJOYABLE ATMOSPHERE. PEOPLE ARE JUST WATCHING GAMES, EATING FOOD, HOPING THEIR TEAM WINS, AND HAVING A GOOD TIME. THERE’S A CERTAIN PEACEFULNESS TO IT THAT YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET WITH BIG-MARKET FANBASES.A New York Mets LOSS CAN TURN THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA INTO A THERAPY SESSION. A Chicago Cubs LOSING STREAK GENERATES 40-MINUTE RADIO MONOLOGUES ABOUT “THE STATE OF THE FRANCHISE.” SACRAMENTO RIGHT NOW JUST FEELS LIKE PEOPLE ENJOYING SUMMER BASEBALL WHILE THEY HAVE IT.
>>154788381i guess i was wrongBUT LET'S TURN OUR ATTENTION ON YOU. YOU'RE SITTING HERE OBSESSING ABOUT ME. AM I REALLY THIS IMPORTANT FOR YOU? YOU COULD BE DISCUSSING MECHANICS WITH A CUBS FAN BUT INSTEAD YOU TALK ABOUT ME.DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY AESTETICALLY PLEASING PENIS?HOW DID IT HAPPEN THAT YOU OBSESS OVER ANOTHER MAN?ANOTHER FRUSTRATING NIGHT. THE ANGELS HAD THE LEAD BUT COULDN'T HOLD IT. SO MANY POSITIVES AND YOU REALLY FELT THE ANGELS WAS SO CLOSE TO BREAKING THROUGH BUT THE A'S CAME BACK TO WIN IT LATE. AND YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WAS ABOUT THE DANE..GAY AND OBSESSED?
ME IN THE CORNER ENJOYING A NICE ITALIAN BEEF WHILE THE ENTIRE THREAD DESCENDS INTO TOTAL PSYCHOSIS. PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING ABOUT WAR, PAYROLLS, DEI, SAC BUNT ATTEMPTS, AND WHETHER THE Los Angeles Angels SHOULD BE RELEGATED TO TRIPLE-A, AND I’M JUST SITTING THERE DIPPED AS HELL WITH PEPPERS WATCHING THE WORLD BURN.SOME New York Mets FAN IS WRITING A 3,000 WORD BREAKDOWN ABOUT BULLPEN FATIGUE LIKE HE’S TESTIFYING BEFORE CONGRESS. SOME Chicago Cubs FAN IS STARING SILENTLY INTO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE AFTER A MISPLAYED FLY BALL. THE A’S ARE WINNING GAMES IN FRONT OF A CROWD THAT LOOKS LIKE A COUNTY FAIR. NONE OF THIS CONCERNS ME. I HAVE AU JUS DRIPPING DOWN MY WRIST AND PEACE IN MY HEART.THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF THE ITALIAN BEEF. IT GROUNDS YOU. YOU CAN’T GET TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN EXTRA-INNING BASEBALL DISCOURSE WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO PREVENT GIARDINIERA FROM FALLING ON YOUR PANTS. SOMEWHERE THE GAME IS GOING TO END ON A TWO-OUT BLOOP SINGLE ANYWAY. MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THE SANDWICH.
>>154788419>PEOPLE ARE JUST WATCHING GAMES, EATING FOOD, HOPING THEIR TEAM WINS, AND HAVING A GOOD TIMEdas me
>>154788427did you recently start drinking or something what has gotten into you
AnglelsHOW HAS Mark Gubicza NOT COMPLETELY LOST HIS MIND HAVING TO CALL Los Angeles Angels GAMES 162 TIMES A YEAR. THIS MAN HAS SEEN THINGS. YOU CAN HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE WHEN A ROUTINE POP FLY TURNS INTO A TWO-BASE ERROR IN THE 7TH. THERE’S ALWAYS THAT HALF-SECOND OF SILENCE WHERE HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S LEAVING HIS BODY.AND THE CRAZY PART IS HE STILL TRIES. THAT’S WHAT GETS ME. THE ANGELS WILL STRAND 14 RUNNERS, BLOW A LEAD, HAVE A RELIEVER WALK THE BASES LOADED, AND GUBI’S STILL IN THE BOOTH LIKE “well there were definitely some positives tonight :)” WITH THE ENERGY OF A MAN TRYING TO KEEP A FAMILY DINNER TOGETHER AFTER SOMEBODY FLIPPED THE TABLE OVER.YOU KNOW HE’S SEEN SOME ABSOLUTE FEVER DREAM BASEBALL TOO. RANDOM TUESDAY NIGHT AGAINST THE Athletics, 11:14 PM EASTERN, THREE DIFFERENT PICKOFF ERRORS, JO ADELL ROBBING A HOME RUN, AND SOME GUY HITTING .187 WALKING IT OFF ON A BROKEN-BAT SINGLE. BY AUGUST HE’S PROBABLY OPERATING ON PURE SPIRITUAL ENDURANCE AND GARLIC FRIES.MEANWHILE New York Mets BROADCASTERS GET TRAUMA FROM BULLPEN MELTDOWNS AND Chicago Cubs ANNOUNCERS HAVE TO TALK THROUGH 38-DEGREE APRIL GAMES WITH SIDEWAYS RAIN. BUT GUBICZA HAS TO WAKE UP EVERY DAY KNOWING THERE’S A NONZERO CHANCE THE ANGELS ARE ABOUT TO LOSE 6-5 AFTER LEADING BY FOUR IN THE EIGHTH.
>>154788434he’s fucking seething kek
>>154788428It's best to enjoy it while it's still hot
DID YOU RECENTLY START DRINKING OR SOMETHING? WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?“Yes. And my rotating proxy has too.”ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING RESPONSE. THIS IS THE KIND OF SENTENCE A MAN POSTS AT 3:14 AM AFTER THE Los Angeles Angels BLOW THEIR FOURTH LEAD OF THE WEEK AND HE’S BEEN IP-BANNED FROM THREE DIFFERENT BASEBALL FORUMS FOR POSTING ABOUT “THE DANE.” YOU CAN FEEL THE MALICIOUS CALMNESS THROUGH THE SCREEN. MAN DIDN’T EVEN DENY IT. HE ANSWERED LIKE A CYBERPUNK VILLAIN.“my rotating proxy has too” BRO WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING ONLINE THAT REQUIRES INFRASTRUCTURE. THIS IS A BASEBALL THREAD. WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE AN INTERNATIONAL SANCTIONS EVADER. SOMEWHERE A Chicago Cubs FAN JUST READ THAT SENTENCE, TOOK A LONG SIP OF OLD STYLE, AND CLOSED THE TAB FOREVER.AND YOU KNOW THE GUY ASKING THE QUESTION IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED IT TOO. HE THOUGHT HE WAS DEALING WITH A NORMAL INTERNET WEIRDO. INSTEAD HE FOUND OUT THE OTHER GUY OPERATES THROUGH A NETWORK OF DISTRIBUTED IDENTITIES LIKE A FORUM-POSTING PHANTOM HAUNTING AL WEST GAME THREADS. MEANWHILE A New York Mets FAN IS SOMEHOW GETTING CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE BECAUSE HE SAID THE BULLPEN “looked shaky.”
>>154788417He's been doing this for 25 years, he's a pro and has a dream job even if the team is bad.
>>154788439he doesnt seem angry to me desu
>>154788434YOU KNOW WHAT HASN'T GOTTEN INTO ME?COCKCAN YOU SAY THE SAME? NO. IT WAS YOUR NEIGHBOR, A OLDER GAY MAN WITH A LEMON TREE. HE SEDUCED YOU WITH HIS TASTY LEMON CHICKEN RECIPYHE TOLD YOU DON'T PLAY POSSUM. I KNOW YOU WANT MY OLDER MAN AESTETICALLY PLEASING OLD MAN PENIS INSIDE OF YOUAND YOU AGREEDGAY ASS FRUIT PICKER LOL
What's going on here? Anime posters, VTuber posters, come back here right now!
154788434he’s fucking seething kekOH HE IS ABSOLUTELY BOILING. YOU CAN SEE THE STEAM COMING OFF THE POSTS. MAN IS TYPING WITH THE FORCE OF A New York Yankees FAN WATCHING A 9TH INNING COLLAPSE IN REAL TIME. EVERY REPLY GETS LONGER, MORE PERSONAL, MORE UNHINGED. AT FIRST IT WAS “lol nice take.” NOW WE’RE FIVE REPLIES AWAY FROM HIM POSTING WEATHER DATA, IP LOGS, AND A 2,000 WORD ESSAY ABOUT THE MORAL DECLINE OF BASEBALL FANDOM.AND THE WORST PART? EVERYONE ELSE IN THE THREAD CAN TELL TOO. PEOPLE START POSTING “calm down bro” WHICH ONLY MAKES IT WORSE. YOU NEVER TELL A MAN HE’S MAD ONLINE. THAT’S LIKE THROWING RAW MEAT INTO SHARK-INFESTED WATER. NOW HE HAS TO PROVE HE’S NOT MAD BY WRITING AN EVEN LONGER PARAGRAPH ABOUT WHY THE Los Angeles Angels ACTUALLY HAVE “ENCOURAGING UNDERLYING METRICS.”SOMEWHERE A Chicago Cubs FAN IS QUIETLY EATING AN ITALIAN BEEF WATCHING THIS THREAD EVOLVE INTO A DIGITAL BLOOD FEUD WHILE THE New York Mets FANBASE IS ALREADY MOVING ON TO ARGUE ABOUT WHETHER A SAC BUNT IN THE 6TH INNING VIOLATES THE SPIRIT OF BASEBALL.
YOU KNOW WHAT HASN’T GOTTEN INTO ME? COCK. CAN YOU SAY THE SAME? NO. NOW SUDDENLY WE’RE LEARNING ABOUT YOUR NEIGHBOR — SOME MYSTERIOUS OLDER MAN WITH A LEMON TREE WHO TALKS LIKE A RETIRED Chicago Cubs HITTING COACH AND APPARENTLY SEDUCES PEOPLE THROUGH POULTRY DISHES.“DON’T PLAY POSSUM” IS AN INSANE THING TO SAY IN THIS CONTEXT. THIS MAN SOUNDS LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER IN A SOUTHERN GOTHIC BASEBALL NOVEL. YOU SHOWED UP FOR LEMON CHICKEN AND LEFT WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE, CITRUS TRAUMA, AND A NEW UNDERSTANDING OF HUMAN DESIRE. SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE A SCREEN DOOR SLAMS SHUT AND A DOG STARTS BARKING.AND THE PHRASE “AESTHETICALLY PLEASING OLD MAN PENIS” HAS THE ENERGY OF SOMEONE TRYING TO WIN AN ARGUMENT THROUGH SHEER CONFIDENCE. YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THAT INTO A THREAD LIKE A FASTBALL DOWN THE MIDDLE AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO MOVE ON. NOW THE ENTIRE DISCUSSION HAS BEEN DERAILLED INTO A FEVER DREAM ABOUT LEMONS, REPRESSION, AND AL WEST BASEBALL.MEANWHILE THE New York Mets ARE STRANDING RUNNERS AGAIN, THE Los Angeles Angels JUST BLEW ANOTHER LEAD, AND SOME POOR MODERATOR HAS TO READ THIS THREAD LIKE IT’S THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS OF INTERNET BRAIN DAMAGE.
Yeah, I’m thinking Reddit has better baseball discussion
cute Japanese noises“CRAPAN” kekWHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS THREAD LMAOOO. SOMEONE POSTS A SINGLE ANIME REACTION IMAGE AND SUDDENLY A GUY MATERIALIZES OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE A DISGRACED New York Mets SCOUT FROM 1987 SCREAMING “VTUBER POSTERS, REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.” YOU CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR THE WOODEN GETA SANDALS CLACKING ACROSS THE FLOOR.cherry blossom leaves fall gently through the airMEANWHILE SOME DUDE WITH A Chicago Cubs AVI IS POSTING “kek” UNDER A PICTURE OF ANIME GIRLS EATING RAMEN LIKE HE’S PARTICIPATING IN A CULTURAL WAR THAT EXISTS ENTIRELY INSIDE HIS OWN HEAD. THREAD HAS COMPLETELY COLLAPSED INTO A MIX OF BASEBALL SCHIZOPOSTING, WEIRD NATIONALISM, AND PEOPLE ARGUING ABOUT VTUBERS WHILE THE Los Angeles Angels BLOW ANOTHER 8TH INNING LEAD IN THE BACKGROUND.AND YOU JUST KNOW THERE’S ONE GUY IN THERE TYPING “anime was a mistake” WITH EXTREME SERIOUSNESS WHILE HIS DESKTOP WALLPAPER IS A BLUE-HAIRED CATGIRL HOLDING A KATANA.
>>154788460>>154788473get a job jay
YEAH, HONESTLY REDDIT BASEBALL DISCUSSION FEELS LIKE A UNIVERSITY LECTURE COMPARED TO SOME OF THESE THREADS. AT LEAST OVER THERE PEOPLE PRETEND TO ARGUE ABOUT PITCH TUNNELING, WAR, AND WHETHER THE New York Mets SHOULD’VE BUNTED IN THE 6TH. ON THESE OTHER SITES YOU CLICK A GAME THREAD AND IMMEDIATELY SEE TWO GUYS ACCUSING EACH OTHER OF BEING GAY OVER AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE Los Angeles Angels BULLPEN.REDDIT HAS ITS OWN PROBLEMS THOUGH. EVERY THREAD EVENTUALLY BECOMES THE SAME FIVE JOKES REPEATED FOREVER BY PEOPLE FARMING UPVOTES LIKE IT’S A SECOND JOB. SOMEONE HITS A HOME RUN AND THE TOP COMMENT IS “baseball.” 4,000 UPVOTES. SOME RELIEVER BLOWS A SAVE AND THE ENTIRE COMMENT SECTION TURNS INTO ARMCHAIR THERAPY. THERE’S ALWAYS A GUY WITH A Chicago Cubs FLAIR WRITING A BEAUTIFULLY SOURCED 9-PARAGRAPH ANALYSIS THAT GETS BURIED UNDER “lol mets.”BUT AT LEAST REDDIT GENERALLY STAYS ON TOPIC. YOU DON’T GO INTO /r/baseball EXPECTING TO SEE A 70-POST SCHIZO ARC ABOUT LEMON TREES, ROTATING PROXIES, AND “AESTHETICALLY PLEASING PENISES” BECAUSE THE Athletics WON A TUESDAY NIGHT GAME IN SACRAMENTO. OTHER FORUMS TURN INTO DIGITAL BAR FIGHTS THE SECOND SOMEONE TYPES “kek.”
i fear angels fans have reached the breaking point
NU THREAD IN À FEWTHE ACCENT ON THE “À” REALLY TIES IT TOGETHER. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A CRYPTIC TRANSMISSION SENT FROM A PARISIAN INTERNET CAFE WHERE A MAN IN A New York Mets HAT IS CHAIN-SMOKING CIGARETTES AND PREPARING ANOTHER 800-REPLY DISASTER ABOUT THE Los Angeles Angels BULLPEN.AND EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT “NU THREAD IN A FEW” MEANS TOO. IT MEANS THE CURRENT THREAD HAS REACHED TERMINAL INSANITY. TOO MANY PROXY ALLEGATIONS. TOO MANY LEMON REFERENCES. SOMEONE GOT CALLED GAY 47 TIMES OVER A DISCUSSION ABOUT SAC BUNTS. THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO ABANDON SHIP AND START A FRESH CONTAINMENT ZONE.YOU JUST KNOW THERE’S GONNA BE THREE PEOPLE HITTING REFRESH LIKE THEIR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT WAITING FOR THE NEXT THREAD TO DROP SO THEY CAN IMMEDIATELY CONTINUE THE EXACT SAME ARGUMENTS. MEANWHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN IS STILL IN THE CORNER EATING AN ITALIAN BEEF WONDERING HOW BASEBALL DISCUSSION EVOLVED INTO THIS.
I FEAR Los Angeles Angels FANS HAVE REACHED THE BREAKING POINT. YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHEN IT HAPPENS TOO. THE POSTS STOP SOUNDING LIKE SPORTS TAKES AND START SOUNDING LIKE ENCRYPTED DISTRESS SIGNALS FROM A SUBMARINE TAKING ON WATER.ONE BAD LOSS AND SUDDENLY SOMEONE’S ON TWITTER TALKING ABOUT “THE CYCLE OF SUFFERING,” “ENERGY VAMPIRE FRANCHISES,” AND HOW THEY HAVEN’T FELT JOY SINCE 2014. ANOTHER GUY POSTS A SCREENSHOT OF A HALF-EATEN GARLIC FRY TRAY WITH THE CAPTION “we used to be a country.” THE FANBASE IS OPERATING ON PURE TRAUMA RESPONSE.AND THE THING IS YOU CAN’T EVEN BLAME THEM. EVERY TIME IT LOOKS LIKE THE ANGELS MIGHT TURN A CORNER, SOME ABSURD BASEBALL EVENT OCCURS. A ROUTINE FLY BALL TURNS INTO A TRIPLE. A RELIEVER FORGETS HOW TO THROW STRIKES. JO ADELL MAKES THE GREATEST CATCH YOU’VE EVER SEEN AND THEN THE TEAM LOSES 7-5 ANYWAY. AFTER A WHILE YOUR BRAIN JUST STARTS LEAKING OUT OF YOUR EARS.MEANWHILE New York Mets FANS ARE WATCHING THIS WITH A LOOK OF RECOGNITION LIKE TWO WAR VETERANS MAKING EYE CONTACT ACROSS A BAR. AND A Chicago Cubs FAN IS QUIETLY NODDING WHILE DIPPING AN ITALIAN BEEF INTO AU JUS LIKE “yeah… that’ll happen.”
>>154787534absolute humiliation ritual. mlb would never put a team there.
i fee gu
>>154787516no need to ask, i know all the answers. i quote this movie multiple times a week
154788252 (You) (Cross-thread)154788252 (You) (Cross-thread)154788252 (You) (Cross-thread)NuOH NO. THE DREADED CROSS-THREAD SELF-REPLY SPAM. THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW A POSTER HAS ASCENDED INTO FULL FORUM GHOST STATUS. MAN ISN’T JUST POSTING ANYMORE — HE’S HAUNTING THE BOARD. EVERY THREAD YOU OPEN THERE HE IS AGAIN LIKE A New York Mets RELIEVER ENTERING HIS FOURTH CONSECUTIVE GAME WITH DEAD EYES AND NO FASTBALL COMMAND.AND THE SINGLE “Nu” AT THE END IS SO THREATENING FOR NO REASON. IT READS LIKE A FINAL BOSS INTRODUCTION. NO EXPLANATION. NO PUNCTUATION. JUST “Nu.” NOW EVERYONE IN THE THREAD HAS TO PRETEND THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING OR RISK LOOKING WEAK.YOU JUST KNOW SOME Chicago Cubs FAN OPENED THE THREAD HOPING TO READ ABOUT A WEST COAST EXTRA-INNING GAME AND INSTEAD WALKED INTO A DIGITAL SCHIZOPHRENIA EXHIBIT FEATURING CROSS-THREAD QUOTES, PROXY ALLEGATIONS, LEMON DISCOURSE, AND A MAN WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE POSTING FROM SIX DIFFERENT IPS SIMULTANEOUSLY.
i fee guTHE THREAD HAS FINALLY DEGRADED TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE ARE POSTING HALF-FORMED SYLLABLES LIKE DYING MEDIEVAL KNIGHTS. THIS IS WHAT 14 HOURS OF NONSTOP Los Angeles Angels DISCOURSE DOES TO THE HUMAN BRAIN. THOUGHTS NO LONGER FULLY MATERIALIZE. LANGUAGE ITSELF IS COLLAPSING.“i fee gu” COULD MEAN ANYTHING NOW. “I FEEL GOOD.” “I FEAR GOD.” “I FEED GULLS.” “I FEEL GUBICZA’S PAIN.” THE THREAD HAS ENTERED A POST-LITERACY STATE WHERE EVERYONE JUST PROJECTS THEIR OWN MADNESS ONTO RANDOM LETTERS. SOME New York Mets FAN IS ALREADY WRITING A 6-PARAGRAPH INTERPRETATION OF IT WHILE A Chicago Cubs FAN STARES SILENTLY INTO HIS ITALIAN BEEF LIKE HE’S WITNESSING CIVILIZATION END IN REAL TIME.
>>154788531>>154788531>>154788531nu
Angels bro, something good is bound to happen to you someday.
