beating a dead horse edition >Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dprevirus thread >>156882404
First for Kimura Kankuro and his earth-shattering voice
AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SAVE ME KIRISHIMA said Dan former Ozeki.
>>156929794I miss the last tategyoji. He had "old man shouts at cloud" vibes.
>>156929799>AI slopThey're and their/there aren't even homophones lmao.
>>156929799>he's so butthurt he brought it to the next thread
>>156929815>not knowing your own language. go back to pakistan
>>156929799I love seeing you dipshits posting your ai prompts in 4chan arguments like they're some kind of Voice of God gotcha and they're wrong literally every fucking time
>>156929840I accept your concession
>>156929862I call it "intellectual outsourcing".
>>156929862fags not welcome here
>>156929882"intellectual" is being generous.
I've never liked Kagayaki. Sloppy physique, yellow belts always look dirty, and that's far too many kana for one kanji.
>>156929882You ignored my comment proving you wrong Akbu. Where's your source they aren't homophones? "lmao" is not a source
why is this dude still seething about homophones or someshit? no one cares lil bro move on
Nice Enho win.
Enho tossing the big dudes around
woah...the same throw he used on...hakuho...
>>156929929he accepted the concession but it is pending review lmao
>>156929929I accept your concession again
>>156929884>uh, uh...well you're trans!Yeah I can see how that ai dependence has really powered up your towering intellect, great job.
>Plays an ad right during the boutWhy is Midnight a fat fucking retard?
Why the fuck is Dan wrestling Onosato already? Are they trying to delay his 10-x kyujo?
>he keeps saying it
>>156929987this dude is unironically watching midnight kek
>>156929994Because he's the 7th guy on the banzuke not the 3rd.
>>156929987VPN & Abema
>>156929987He sets his ads per hour to the maximum.
>>156929987As a twitch partner you choose when to play ads. He does it so people subscribe.
>>156929987>watching the streamer who keeps trying to strike other channels by pretending to be NHK
>>156929994Isn't Onosato up against Oho today?
Someone needs to tell Shonannoumi that he's the same size as Onosato.
>>156929776> beating a dead h-ACK!! *kadobans*
muscle wasting disease or how do you have such legs after years of shiko
>>156930013>>156930024still not a partner, dunno how many times I have to say this
>>156930170Bro looks like a melted ice cream cone
>>156930184you'll get there midnight. can you quit being a fag to other restreamers though, thx
ear splitting thunderous pop for Dan
>>156930184Who cares, affiliates with ads can run as many as they want within what's designated to them.
>>156930170What a cursed physique
>>156930203we both don't like him but get your facts straight nigger
>>156930170He looks like he used to be huge but will retire soon so is losing the weight and muscle getting ready for the salaryman job.
>>156930170This dude is only 29 years old...
miss my boy Wakatakakage like you wouldn't believe
Gonoyama is the Tomohiro Ishii of sumo
>>156930218they can run more than the minimum, it's either once in every 30mins or you do it manually in order to not getting ads for the next 30 minutesalso if you don't do manual everyone has preroll adswe can bash the guy for being a leech and a retard but blaming he uses the ads somehow maliciously is just plain wrong
>>156930241Seeing these uninspired Dohyo-iri makes me miss Asashoryu more every day
yo why is this guy defending midnight so much though?
>>156930263Stop talking about shit you know nothing about bud.
The babies are crying, they can sense the evil spirits, something bad is going to happen today
>>156930283Yes. Dan gets raped by Nobdog. Trust the plan.
>>156929799Posting AI responses is an instant loss in any argument. It's not because of the content of the response, but rather the fact that it shows that the poster doesn't even have the brainpower or willpower to find an answer on their own. Effort matters as much as correct information.
That little foot shuffle they do in the dohyo-iri is pretty hardMaybe they need to incorporate some moonwalking into the ritual too, just so the dark spirits have absolutely no confusion about the fact that they are dealing with some dangerously cool guys
YOISHO
>>156930304>the yokozuna doing all of smooth criminal's choreography in unison each day
>>156930328Dark spirits would never recover
>>156930170cup size?
>>156930328>>156930335>the Yokozuna doinf the full "How_to_play_TF2_scout.gif"
>>156930336D CUPSFULL OF JUSTICE
>>156930279likewise retard, I'm an affiliate unlike youeat shit
>>1569303367-11 Big Gulp
I noticed Takayasu's ring name is also just his real name Takayasu Akira. Is that unusual? Because most of the guys are given new names when they join, right?
Gochan desu
who's the muscle mommy on abema tonight
>>156930354>retard that streams to 3 peoplethis explains everything
>>156930363They aren't given names, they take names. The names are usually pushed by their masters, but there is no rule keeping them from going by whatever name they want to
>>156930354what do you stream
>>156930372>I was wrong so lets call him a retardgod I hate am*ricans
The guns on this hag, are we sure she isn't half-american? Damn son
>>156930363Nah plenty of people use their given name, Ura is another example so was Endo ShotaThe only real requirement is that your name has to be able to be written in kanji so all the foreigners take a shikonaAlso yokozuna get pressed to take a shikona if they don't have one iirc
>>156930370>Stunto is going to get to wrestle herlucky fella
>>156930170what shiko lol, he's a cook and not doing any training at all, none of the cooks do.
>>156930389The issue is you think you have the same privileges at 3 viewers as someone with 5k.
What would your shikona be? I would take Ichishishi
Found her, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christa_Deguchi on Abema tonight
>>156930434Whatever translates to herald of clowns
>>156930406#HagWatch's strongest soldier
>>156930445>camera feed cuts away as she maneuvers into the amazon position
>>156930415Are you just pretending to not understand that the same rules apply to everyone?
>>156930435I want to see de goochi
>>156930458>rules apply evenly on twitch oh buddy
>>156930458he'll pretend to not understand whatever it takes to lead the conversation around by the nose until you quit
>>156930471now you are just moving the goal post, we are done
I should watch some tourneys. Women's contact sports usually eliminate the issue of you having to look at Dagestanis all day.
>>156930458If ads are playing during a match the streamer in question either:A. Forgot to manage them and they are auto running on a set timer mandated by Twitch itself.B. Manually chose to run them at that time.C. A moderator who was given power ran them on behalf of the streamer in question.Or you know you could watch someone else, or watch on youtube.
>>156930397Gross. They should get better looking female athletes for this if they're going to bother, they never have anything interesting to say anyway and just take time from fujii and wakanohana.
>>156930482>now you are just moving the goal post
LETS GO RE-TARDLETS GO RE-TARD
>>156930406How high rank did stunto get when he was a pro?
/OURRETARD/
OURRETARD
LETS GO
Surprisingly well-fought match from OUR RETARD
OUR OGREJust move forward!
RE-TARD CLAP CLAP CLAP
Damn what a hard fought victory for our favourite retard
>>156930505Now tag your brother here instead of me, maybe he'll understandI don't watch m*ddy
Kinbozan looks pretty retarded himself desu
>>156930572aren't we all
OUR RETARD
Cucked
BIG BOY
>>156930575No hate, I've just never seen him together with shishi before.
Kazuma desu
Hell yeah Kazuma.
homeboy got two gunt flaps
Kazuma learning how to take advantage of being big in real time.
>>156930627Imagine the sumata
Nice
>>156930529He was never in maezumo
sneaky little fucker that Tobizaru
AIEEEEE MY SHIN
We all know Monkey Punch, but what about monkey kick?
Beautiful leg sweep
what in tarnation
lmao
someone more humiliating than just going out the first time
>>156930859>>156930866Just Shodai things.
>>156930817It really was. Webm anon if you please
>>156930814It’s the same thing, their feet are hands too
Rouga the Ogre
>>156930881subtle HE post
The Fun Haver Convention
Will roga ever improve his career high rank of maegashira 8?
Fat man espionage anon here2 blue kimono wearing sumo just left from the taxi stand in an unmarked white Prius-like car that had sweet motorized gull wing doors for the back seatsI guess that’s how they fit the guys into cars.no other info sorry
>>156930397>>156930370Christa Deguchi, Olympic gold medal winning judoka. She's half-Canadian.
URAAAAAA
ura huh
Win or lose, I still ain't bored watching an Ura match, that was wild.
Shishi will henka Onosato
>>156930985>She's half-Canadian.
>>156930935b-but I was believing!!!
>half economic zoneianWhat does this mean? Is it half jeet, chink, what?!
> Ura gathering all of his strength unexpended during the last week to make sure Takayasu is pushed out of the yusho race
another sumo in a floral print kimono was carrying his stuff in one of those dark blue Costco bags with the red handlesI have that same bagI am also fat, I could go undercoverI don’t have a kimono but I could use my futon cover and some tiedown straps it will work assuming the security guard is both blind and deaf
>>156931043Costco in japan? it's more serious than I thought.
DonPen spotted
I also notice a lot of the “staff” who are leaving, wearing white dress shirts and black pants, are also enormously large and fat.I wonder if there is some meaning to that Can the most junior guys wear regular clothes outside? I thought everyone had to wear kimono if they were in public. Maybe these guys are the food tasters
For me it's Ura
>>156931065Yeah there are quite a few locations, at least 3 within reasonable driving distance from Nagoya One is next to the main airport in fact
WMH looks straight up lethargic
thanks ABEMA
>>156931170What's his shikona?
also I saw a girl in a very stylish grunge fashion outfit walk past but when I checked with the scope I realized she was actually just a regular homeless woman
>>156931170Why are burgers so fat kek it's the easiest way to tell whether a white dude is European or American
>>156931170If you are not fat, you are not a true sumo fan and a poser faggot loser retard
>>156931186大白豚
Another day at the office for Kotoeiho
>>156931212If you are fat then you're just a faggot loser retard
>>156931162> excited for Koto bros and Waka bros to battle> Waka bros spontaneously combust into flamesWell, shit.
onosato passed the curse off onto his voodoo doll
>>156931170wait I think know this guy
>>156931205High calorie food is the cheapest and easiest to prepare.
THROW that guy down
Just getting home. Who is the bitch? Judo chick?
Valiant effort from Fujinokawa
just fuckin toss that lil nigga
MY SIDES!!!!Looked like a dog fucking your leg!
>>156931334>>156930435
"just fucking climbing the rikishi" kimarite
Aonishiki looks bulkier this basho
>>156931346What's the guy in the back thinking
>there are actually midnight viewers hereUnironically why? There are two normal streams on YouTube every single basho, I've never had any trouble finding them. Why go out of your way to watch garbage that actively detracts from the original content?
>>156931348Arigato gozi mus!
>>156931359spent the past four months on the bench cause he couldn't walk
Dan bros... The win but at what cost...
>>156931371people are retarded, that's why
Ohh, close. And that ankle isn't looking too hot.
Dan's back is nightmare fuel
Fug that looks like it hurt
GOODBYE DAN! SEE YOU NEXT 'SHO!
Just get those two wins somehow and go kyujo asap.
>>156931436Just needs 3 more wins to get back to Ozeki. Thats more of the goal then the yusho.
That looked bad, but at least he seems to be walking fine
That's what we would call a "hard broke" in the aviation industry....
>>156931451>>156931455He's not winning against Onosharto tomorrow
> Alright, break his leg again.
>>156931436Is it his ankle or his toe?
Dan seems to be walking fine so does he have a high ankle sprain?
>>156931485That doesn't change that he just needs 3 wins over the last half. Plus even healthy Dan sucks against him anyway.
>>156931495He was limping, so he was at least hurting at the end of that.
Who's the Tonya Harding of sumo
Fat boy henka
Get henka'd bitch
>>156931503That's not happening either
Dan sits out and ices his shit or gets rolled by Onosato tomorrow?
>touching a whore's thigh is literally r-ACKkeep the henka coming, love the simp tears
>>156931554that would not please the sumo spirits
I want Atamifuji to win
>>156931562>>touching a whore's thigh is literally r-ACK>keep the henka coming, love the simp tears????what?
>>156931528>>156931528I'll be laughing at your ass when he gets 10
>>156931562stop smoking crack
Did he fall on his left leg which caused the pain or did it give out on him in the dohyo?
>>156931562I was going to ask if you were in the right thread but you used a sumo term, the fuck?
>>156931577>>156931590Women and simps despise him and him winning in underhanded ways makes them (you) seethe. Hope this helps
Your 76th Yokozuna Kirishima...chills
>>156931592a twist perhaps, or you can see him stub his toes on one step as he stumbles
>>156931562I begrudgingly agree
Atamifuji loosening up like he was my dad when he used to beat me.
>>156931606nobody seethes or cares about a whore or simps or whatever you're imaging in your mind. he was disrespectful to oyakata, so fuck him. I guess he still sucks hakuhos cock
Zak learning from Dan
Wins? 4Losses? 4Tits? 4
>>156931706kek
Hosh with two strong wins in a row. This time for sure!
O.K......
MY YOKOZUNA
>>156931784lol ur cat looks like ron perlman
>>156931784lol your cat looks like ron perlman
Ouhou is gonna beat sharto's ass
>>156931784Do you wipe your shitty ass with that everytime Hoshoryu loses?
>>156931611It's destined to happen
>>156931824Is that the alien from the end of Disclosure Day?
>>156931802>>156931812>>156931819Why would you think thats actually my cat with a 4chan filename.
>>156931837Yeah it's him
He can walk forward again, miracle
he did the thing
Just move forward
>go forward>???>profit
Oho ran into a brick wall
Damn what a squash match
Yea he's beating both Ao and Kiri again
literally just go forward
Looking good.
Cant stop the forward button, i do wonder if one of the higher ranked guys will find a way to use his shoulder against him as the basho moves on.
So are they shooting aonishiki like you would a lame horse?
>>156931917Shooting up with painkillers like they are Onosato.
>>156931917I missed most of today, what happened
>>156931899I think Onosato's issues this basho were mostly psychological. He seems to have his confidence back.
>>156931978he broke both of his legs and was wheeled out in a chair
I need the basho to somehow work it's way to the point where Shishi faces Onosato.
hoshoryu is like his uncle if his uncle wasn’t a dickheadI am kind of disappointed that neither of them can do the shoryuken though
>>156931978broken penis
>>156931978He tumbled at the end of the match and was mildly limping on his previously injured foot. Time will tell if it's serious or not.
Slime
>>156932072what was that all about?
>>156932263They are both smug and petty. People only like atami because hes funny looking
>>156932072>>156932263kirishitma did not like the late hairpull
>>156930170>>156932205awe inspiring
Don't mind me just on my way to page 10
>>156933350Robbed
>>156932072
place your bets
>>156933683I wonder how much more their rivalry would've escalated if Asashoryu wasn't forced out.
She would make strong children.
>>156933810So its happening. FutaGoyKing should take Nabatame to a fancy restaurant if he wins
>>156934616He pulled out of shinpan duties on day five, presumably with some fatass related illness. Hopefully he survives to see the bout.
>>156933683chicken legs on the leftmid maegashitter ceiling
>>156933683Who currently has the closest build to Asashoryu? I've always found his body type quite unique.
>>156934913Probably Aonishiki
>>156934913Fujinokawa except not manlet sized.
>>156934997>>156935124Correct takes.
>>156934913No one, his physique pops once every 40 years when the world is in dire need of chaos
>Ikazuchido 1-3negrosisters…
what's his fucking problem
>>156934654Hopefully he drops dead, the stable is disbanded and the sloptards all off themselves
>>156936760He's fat, so he has wiggle himself until all his bones are in place.
>>156930406I love older women
>>156936760Shishi and Ryuden got reprimanded for this shit, right?
>>156937668
>>156934913asahifujiwhich makes sense cause he's the next mongol menace that will dominate sumo
>>156938099Onosato will fold him in half if hes ever healthy again.
>>156937817>Ryuden doing the Shishi twerk. I thought the JSA aborted tachiai twerking
how come soccer gets pinned threads for their games but basho threads don't get stickied?is this anti-japanese sentiment from spee jannies?
>>156938372We would get bullied to hell by all the other sports fansthey would fill the thread with fat fetish porn and pictures of anime girls slapping each others’ breastsheaven help us if they ever found out about the underground female sumo rings
>>156938372Yeah we really more newfags asking why we are watching fat dudes in diapers
>>156937817It looks like idle stance from street fighter.
>>156938372sumo is already a niche sport in japan at this pointit would take a miracle for it to become popular worldwide, considering the negative connotations it has with normies
>>156936790I have no problem with an unrepentant lardass like him facing the consequences of his own actions, but I would feel bad for a couple of his rikishi.
>>156938372No women are allowed in the sacred dohyo. They're yucky.
>>156938755>niche sportNot really. It's not number one, but it's hardly niche. It's about as popular as baseball is here.In Japan the most popular sports are baseball and soccer (older people like the former and younger people prefer the latter). After that is a huge gap and then it's sumo, golf, and basketball, which are all pretty close.
>>156938755>sumo is already a niche sport in japan at this pointold people love it, there were even guys going around the neighborhoods near the arena last month trying to rent people’s driveways for parking space during the bashoIt’s true though that the popularity has declined among the youth.I think that when you get older you care less about “cool athletes” and begin to appreciate the ceremony, dedication, and dignity of sumo.also some of these lads are absolute units
>>156938977I’m not sure if soccer is really more popular among the young people. Baseball still seems to be much more popular among kids from what I can tell.
>>156930462
nice eye pokes fucking gookthe white man marches on
SUPER DUPER SUMOS
>>156938977you forgot ruggers
>>156938111We have no idea what Asahi's ceiling is because he's dumpstered everyone he's faced. Maybe when he's in Juryo next basho he'll finally lose a match.
>>156940207Slack off in the ring-aGet the fing-a
>>156941034MR ADVERTISER GET DOWN
Shishi Yusho is still on the table
>>156941435July is Tebakari month, sorry.
>>156941034KACHI COOCHIE
>>156941034Fucking disgusting
>>156941034The hazing at Nishonoseki really does go too far.
>>156941034that is madness, person of color
>>156938824>>156936790qrd on goyking?
>>156943095This image will explain everything you need to know
>>156940201a lot of Japanese surnames seem to come from a description of the location where the family livedthus you see lots of 田中 and 山本 but not so many 砂漠島 or 火山上
>>156943217中村 always makes me laugh.
>>156942794don't lie. this is very common at high school level sumo
>>156943345The Real Shinto Ritual the Japanese Don't Want You to Know About
>>156938977What about horse racing? Isn't it crazy popular in japan? Assuming you can count that as a sport
>>156941627Kek
>>156943254statistically you would think there would be a lot more of those but probably after one household took the name they picked different ones for the other families
>>156943345butsukari-geiko training
>>156943423In 2024 we had two Nakamura Daikis in Makuuchi.
>>156943400They like horse racing because it's one of the few forms of legal gambling, not because it's a popular sport.
>>156943655>le 12 billion yen incident
/sp/ denied the beauty of takakeisho's sumo at the time. but some of us saw the vision. a man who climbed the banzuke on the sheer force of will and his japanese upbringing and his CPAP machinehe could have yusho'd even if he faced 15 men who were stark bollock naked. how many yokozuna can say the same?
>>156938977What about boxing? Pretty sure Naoya Inoue is a big thing, no?
>>156943963No he's fucking tiny, have you seen the guy?
>>156941034is this the legendary "oshiridashi' kimarite?
>>156943891>too fat and slow to henkaso this is sumo...
>>156944493atamin...zak...
Danbros... I'm not feeling too good right now...
>>156945294Dan needs to visit Nakamura and ask Tomokaze how to fight on one foot.
the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long
>>156945525>PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP >GET SAT DOWN GET SAT DOWN
>>156930170A fucking frog lol
>>156938372I am a raceist and I hate divefaggotryLove Nihon btw
word on aonishiki?
>>156946250He didn't survive Takanosho's nerve gas.
>>156946288
>>156941034not fat enough. Make 'em bigger.
>>156946335Seriously. Getting battered by the flattest, boniest asses must be painful.
>>156946250Nothing a fuckton of painkillers can't fix. Granted he could be 100% healthy and he'd still be the underdog against Onosato.
>*ring ring* *ring ring* *click*>moshi moshi>Lord Bogdanoff, Aonishiki is on the verge of returning to Ozeki rank. He is only a few wins away.>activate the nanite bone-chewing swarm in his ankle. That should prevent his return.>but my Lord, activating them this early would->Do it. White boy summer cannot commence, not this early. The pieces have yet to fall into the place.
>>156947021Joke's on them. Shishi was the chosen one all along.
aonishiki go 15 days without hurting your foot challenge (impossible!)
Shishi yushoDanilo 10 wins to go back to ozekiCuatro tetas 8-7 to prevent kadobanOnosato mauled by an escaped tiger from a nearby zooJust perfect
>>156951356Insane bingo board, can't believe you pulled it off.
>>156951356Ura has pulled off every single one of those, btw
>>156951356>Koshi-kudake
>>156951737Better to practice one kick a thousand times than a thousand kicks once.
>>156958483
>>156958483The meatball rolls onward
>>156938287That Ryuden webm was from November of 2020.The he was told to stop doing it back then.Been laughing at people calling it the shishi twerk this whole time.>getting real boss baby vibes here
>>156959058Have you considered the possibility that it's possible for two individuals acting alone to come to the same conclusion?
>>156958807
>>156959479You really have to stop trying to be witty.
>>156959855What's in the blue case? His cocaine?
Bump but we don't stand a chance of surviving the final.... Do we?
>>156958483i love this big nigga
>>156960085>LE ATTEMPTED WITTY BRIT!!!Shishi likely just noticed the bounce your legs get at the bottom of a squat and tried to use it for tachiais without knowing Ryuden had ever done it. I don't doubt someone before Ryuden noticed the same thing but we just don't have footage of them doing it.
>>156960279Oh I'm dumb, it's just a mouthguard. I didn't realize sumo wrestlers used them.
>>156960346With how boring this shit is, everyone might fall asleep
>>156960900Completely missed the point. It wasn't about Ryuden and Shishi both trying out Pylometric loading.It was making fun of how people have been calling it the "shishi twerk" because they are all new and that was their first introduction to seeing that bounce done.It's not that serious.>>156961222Hoshoryu and I believe Hakunofuji both use mouthguards as well. I believe it's a minority of rikishi that do, can't really confirm that though.
I'd wear a mouthguard if I was facing a top level oshi wrestler who readily goes for the face like Takanosho or Daieisho.
>>156930445God I wish that was me
Have we ever seen a random flying tooth?
>>156964118It's not random if they were slapped in the mouth intentionally.>>156960085LOOK ANON I'M TRYING TO BE WITTY AGAIN HAHAHAHA!!!! XDDD
Has Onosato remembered that if he moves forward he wins?
>>156964618For now.
>>156964346>hands you your (you)
>>156965279teru-sama you're right...maybe i should...better myself...
I know if Dan gets 10 wins hes back to Ozeki, do we have an idea how many wins Atami will need to get promoted to it? Or does it depend on what Zak and Kirishima do with their possible demotion/promotions.
>>156936760He's attempting to convert his bones and muscles into more fat.
>>156965424Sticking to the historical rule of thumb of 33 wins in the Sanyaku, Atamifuji would need a 15-0 this basho to make Ozeki.
>>15696542433 wins in three bashoes. as a rule you should not even begin to hope unless he gets a double digit finish, then his run can start
>>156965622>>156966445Thanks anons, ill keep that in mind then.
>>156967394More realistically Atami would need something like an 11-4 this basho then 13-2Y next basho to make Ozeki. It could maybe be a 12-3Y, but ending your Ozeki run on a yusho generally bodes well.
