I bet none of you pathetic little incel nerds even have the Dragonmaster's Ring. This is what chad wears when he runs his games. Get a clue.
This is the type of stuff we need in the 2024 DM Guide, I never knew I was supposed to have my shirt open when DMing. I must have looked like a dork!
>Ring of Eternal Solitude>Ring of Rejection>Ring of Virginity Defense>Ring of Protection from Pussy
>>93881879I protect my virginity through a combination of the dragonmaster ring, a Soldier of Fortune T-shirt and by walking like Ashida Kim taught me to.
>>93881879I need that ring in my life.
>are... are we fucking on the certificate of authenticity, Chad?
>>93883584but anon, Ashida Kim is a master seducer.
>>93881879>want to sell a product >create an ad with an attractive model wearing the product>"Wow, he's so cool/she's so sexy, I want to be like that!">buy the product >it's shit >it only looks good on that model because even a potato sack would look good on that model This principle is at the foundation of modern economics and for some reason it keeps working.
>>93881879So the key to being a good DM is dressing like the guy who sells 'used' VCRs in the alley next to the auto shop?
>>93884584That reference is like 2 decades late. But yes.
>>93881879Wish we still had ridiculous merch like this instead of funko pops of e-celebs' homosexual RPG characters.
>Hey guys, a friend asked me to DM for us, are you cool with it?>I think he knows his shit, and at worst it'll be one or two sessions tops>I'm sure you'll like him>that dude walks in>he hits the table with his The Dragonmasters Ring rig each time he's about to speak
>>93881879dungeonmasters look like *THAT*!?!?!
>>93890923are you rethinking joining D&D?
That ring is badass and if you disagree you are a faggot, I'd wear that shit to the club and flex it
>>93881879He looks like the bad guy in a Shoujo Manga who keeps on creeping on the 14 year old protagonist. I can just hear some poor citypop musician trying their little heart out trying to make a menackng leitmotif that plays whenever he appears.
>>93891134
>>93885301kek
>>93881879>Franklin Mint nostalgia bombFuuuuck. Back when I was a kid, seeing all of the gaudy ass fantasy jewelry and swords and those catalogs that would get (My grandpa was a coin collector) filled me with such inspiration.
>>93892054Did you become the man you wanted to be?
>>93884561>This principle is at the foundation of modern economicsTake a basic economics class and maybe you'll learn something more than "businesses advertise with attractive models."
>>93891134Unironically based!I think being confident with stuff most people think is goofy can be charming.
>>93884561anon, do you actually think this is a model that will make men think>I want to look like himdo you actually think this product sold?
>>93893306It's called an insult, good sir. You should get used to them, getting told to fuck off is a traditional game around here.
>>93892081For the most part, yes. I get paid to play with swords and guns every day while babbling to the public about obscure history. Past couple years have been rough, but things are evening out.I will say that I don't wear rings though.
>>93899637>I will say that I don't wear THE RINGMASTERS rings though.was it worth it then?
>>93901421Well, after seeing a guy get his wedding ring caught on a power tool, and degloving his finger... Yes.
>>93903520>Well, after seeing a guy get his wedding ring caught on a power tool, and degloving his finger... Yes.That will do it.
>>93891087Fuck off we're full
>>93894185>anon, do you actually think this is a model that will make men thinkThis ad was aimed at 13 year old boys who want to have sex with girls but aren't sure how to get started.
>>93883491>Ring of Artistic Mastery
>>93908801>13 year old boysOh my sweet summer child.
it's all fun and games at the table until the DM pulls out the dagger
>>93910963Satan cares not the sex of the virgin after all.
>>93885301That's the point. Also, like 3-4 decades my dude...
>>93911052But Satan does care about Sterling Silver and 24 Karat Gold, hand-set with Black Onyx, Carnelian and a Dazzling Crystal. He has Good Taste.
>>93911067I could see a shady dude selling VHS machines in the 00's
>>93881879>>93899637>>93910963Serious nostalgia trip just now. The pages had color ink printed on cheap paper that would rub off on your fingers
>>93910963brings new meaning to killer DM
>>93910963Back when Franklin Mint made cool shit and not just coins and mugs.
>>93883491>Ring of Working On Your Art
>>93887752I would follow that Chad into the deepest pit of Avernus...
>Please mail by April 30, 2001Man, it would be amazing to have a do-over of the 00's but with lots of money this time. Just buy up all this fucking schlock, travel to all sorts of conventions, see the world, get super in shape, not bother with any of the donkeydick jobs that stole my youth, etc. And of course, marry/impregnate one of dorky token girl gamers I hung out with back then before the smartphone and social media age totally fucks up the dating scene.
>>93881879Sick. Added to my watchlist.
>>93881879>genuine hematiteDid burgers of ancient times fall for that shit?>>93885422>funko pops of e-celebs' homosexual RPG characters.Do burgers of current times fall for this shit?
>>93894185Graduated HS around when this stuff was selling hot; had a friend who bought wallhangers who would have been on this like flies on shit. I don't think he understood (or cared) it was kind of crap, just being able to buy it was the flex.
>>93934032>Do burgers of current times fall for this shit?Considering the number of funko pops that have been dumped in landfills like ET Atari cartridges I'm guessing no. Damn things never break down either so ten thousand years from now some alien archaeologist is going to find those piles and publish a paper on what sort of ritual significance they had.
