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>>94839864
Welcome Chandra the 21st.

Why Chandra not have bobs

>>94839864
Reposting the DFT Teasers:
https://markrosewater.tumblr.com/post/772668803510304768/maros-aetherdrift-teaser
Things you can expect:
• 13/13 Vehicle with Crew 2 that costs one mana to cast
• Mechanic called Start your engines!
• Three planeswalker native to one of the worlds visited, and one non-native, gets a desparked legendary creature version
• Cycle of vanilla legendary creatures
• Cat and Dog Mounts
• An old God returns and new Gods are introduced
• New Lotus
• Cycle of multicolored Gearhulks
• Numerous mechanics from the worlds visited get cameos
• New Vehicle artifact token

Rules text that will be showing up on cards:
• “This creature saddles Mounts and crews Vehicles using its toughness rather than its power.”
• “Whenever you draw a card, each opponent mills two cards.”
• “Other Dinosaurs you control get +1/+1.”
• “Whenever a player casts a spell they don’t own,”
• “{T}: Add {R} for each Goblin you control.”
• “During turns other than yours, this Vehicle is an artifact creature.”
• “Whenever you activate an exhaust ability, draw a card.”
• “Put any number of permanent cards from your hand onto the battlefield.”
• “Whenever you attack, if a Pirate and a Vehicle attacked this combat,”
• “Creatures you control have base power and toughness 6/6 and are Oozes in addition to their other types.”

Creature type lines from the set:
• Creature – Seal Pirate
• Creature – Lizard Berserker
• Creature – Insect Archer
• Creature – Kor Pilot
• Artifact Creature – Robot Turtle
• Creature – Ape Druid
• Creature – Zombie Cat Knight
• Creature – Vedalken Ranger
• Creature – Dinosaur Dragon Mount
• Legendary Creature – Aetherborn Rogue

Names in the set:
• Adrenaline Jockey
• Flood the Engine
• Gas Guzzler
• Maximum Overdrive
• Pedal to the Metal
• Road Rage
• Roadside Assistance
• The Speed Demon
• Spin Out
• Syphon Fuel

>>94839864
>TQ
Cards.

>>94839957
She's back on Kaladesh and people kept asking to see her bobs.

>>94839885
>mfw they didn't reprint Chandra, Fire of Kaladesh because of the upcoming name change

>>94839885
>MTG in 2001: This weatherlight storyline that's been going on for the past 4 years sure is annoying I'm looking forward to them wiping the slate clean and starting anew
MTG in 2025: Oh boy I can't wait for the 17th year of superfriends adventures!!!

>>94839957
Because wotc is pandering to a crowd who thinks having breasts is sexist or something equally stupid.
Also the art for that card looks so fucking shit it's unreal

>>94840036
If her card had bobs and vagine it would sell well.
I would have 10

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>>94839864
>TQ
I expect them to aim for the stars and fall on their face when writing the lore. Also a shitload of vehicles. Also something that breaks mounts by accident because it was ONLY designed with vehicles in mind. And one single dragon to get us hyped up for Dragonstorm.

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>>94840036
It's disheartening when you're digging through some box of commons from 10 years ago and at least a quarter of the cards make you double take

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>>94839961
>Mechanic called Start your engines!
I dread the set mechanic with exclamation mark

>>94840086
The rebellion angle never made any sense. They weren't a minority fighting off the controling power, they were a group of nations fighting off invaders.

>>94840136
Scars of Mirrodin almost a decade ago was the war. Th Mirrans lost, most of them died, and from then on they were a rebellion with smaller numbers than the phyrexians.

>>94840086
why is xhe fat

>>94840136
Anon, by the end of Mirrodin block Memnarch has reduced the nations to rubble, and it was only downhill from there. The entire premise since the beginning was that Phyrexia has fucking won and the Mirrans are only barely scraping by.

I've finished reading Planeswalker and now I fucking hate Urza. Does this infuriating fuckhead get better in the later books or is he going to keep being retarded.
Also Xantcha is a cute and deserved better

>>94840172
Pretty much the entire point of Urza after Brothers' War is that he's a piece of shit but to an extent necessary. Planeswalker's one of his better showings, to be honest, because he's at least very caring for Xantcha finding herself as a person.

>>94840202
The thing that was most annoying about Urza was probably how he just does not hear what people are saying. Despite literally everyone (including fucking Serra) explaining to him at length that Xantcha is a native phyrexian it seems to have taken him multiple years to even acknowledge that basic fact. If you aren't saying what he wants to hear he does not listen and then makes up some shit and pretends you said that. He is an absolutely unbelievable man for sure.

>>94839864
>OH MY SCIENCE WE DID IT! WE REFERENCED THE LE HECKIN EPIC AKIRA SLIDE!
>the art looks like complete dog shit and that’s on top of Chandra looking like a 10 year old boy for some reason with a weird cylinder body

What a fucking waste

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>>94839864
>Spark Hunter
So it's canon and official. Her planeswalker spark is in her tits. And she's getting them back.

>>94840333
Chandra is only hunting sparks so she can cast a spell that gives her lesbian leaf lover back her spark.
This way they can go hunt through the multiverse looking for the massive hunk of man meat ment to replace Gideon in their threesome.

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>>94840333
Seeing this really reminded me how much less awful the prototype for planeswalkers was than what we got

>>94839961
>New Lotus
>New
>Lotus
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>94840172
isn't Karn basically Xantcha 'reincarnated'?
the thing used to give Karn a personality is literally Xantcha's heartstone (that's why he was leaving Phyrexian oil everywhere he went)

>>94840497
>spell filtering instead of pure card advantage
Different times.

>>94840333
I'll only accept it if she ends up bigger than she started.

>>94839864
I´m sorry, are we really at so low a point that mtg is now spoofing formula 1 and other racing tournaments?

>>94841044
anon, we had 3 meme sets last year, you think this is a low point?

>>94841048
I was on meds last year. Didn´t make me miss much then?

>>94839864
Why they has to turn Chandra into a man? I could stand her being a lesbo but this is too much...

>>94841116
they didn't

>>94841100
were they the meds that make you use the acute accent mark as an apostrophe?

>>94841174
anon DOES have a cute accent \(^-^)/

>>94841174
No. But that´s how I´ve been typing for over 20 years. Don´t remember where I learned that though.

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>>94839957
>>94840036
>>94840080
It is the current time and current mental disease. Just accept because this is one of the aspects of the Kali Yuga.

(don't buy new product if you want this to stop)

flat is justice

>>94841235
chandra looks like a man
actual flat-chested women don't look like men

>>94841246
she is wearing a racing hardsuit

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>>94840687
calm down bro, the most recent lotus was shit and the one before it was barely playable

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>>94841235
It is not about she being a bit flat but because she is not the slightest hot to normal people.

(pic is the kind of girl wotc employees jerk off to)

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>>94841284
Just like woman using fit armor, clothes that are very tight will hurt woman, specially when there are movements (acceleration) involved.
Don't try to give excuses. This is shit and unrealistic in any capacity, the only reason for them to make a shit like that is politics and you know that.

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>>94841321
What politics though? That women don't have breasts?

>>94841312
overpowered in limited at least
but
>uber mythic rarity only appears in like 1 out of 1000 packs
lmao

>>94841312
>spend 6 mana to get 3 mana
>literally only useful for mana fixing once it's on the field because of the equip cost
>you have to sac a creature for mana fixing
jesus fucking christ that's terrible

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Why don't they make cards like this anymore?

>>94841469
why isn't it a tap ability?

>>94841429
As far as I can tell it's more of a regular equipment that you can sacrifice the creature to pay for an instant. 3 to play and 3 to equip for +3/+3 and vigilance isn't too bad, and if you've got some sort of death trigger effect on board you can leap frog each creature without summoning sickness, using the mana from sacrificing one to pay for the equip cost of the next.

>>94841476
You can activate on opponents turn as well

>>94841476
They don't like making enchantments that can tap. I don't think there's any that tap themselves unless it has a second type. Maybe some really old shit.

>>94841510
untaps during each untap step
>>94841511
cards that don't make their state visible are stupid

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>>94841511
Only thee in the game that do it
Flowstone Embrace
Second Wind
and picrel

>>94841547
>planar chaos stuff
makes sense, guessing they didn't like it given they haven't used it since

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IT IS I, THE PHYREXIAN TITRIPPER
NEW BBEG OFMTG
THE ONLY PHYREXIAN SMART ENOUGH TO NOT ACCEPT NORN'S OS UPDATE
AND NOW, WITH NOBODY TO SSTOP ME
NO WOMAN (female) IS SAFE!!!
AAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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>>94841567
>THE PHYREXIAN TITRIPPER
They voted for it.

>>94841469
engine cards with "activate only once each turn"? they make plenty of them just to piss off johnnies
https://scryfall.com/search?as=grid&order=name&q=%28oracle%3Aactivate+oracle%3Aonly+oracle%3Aonce+oracle%3Aeach+oracle%3Aturn%29+%28game%3Apaper%29+legal%3Astandard

>>94841564
witch's mist, second wind and flowstone embrace were purposefully made just to break the rule about enchantments not tapping so yeah

>>94841494
in limited, that kind of thing might be worthwhile - but even there the more relevant text is "gets +3/+3 and has vigilance"
you're still down a creature if you try to get cute with a counter/removal in limited, so you're at best getting a 1-for-1 trade most of the time
everywhere else it's staggeringly ass

>>94841494
>>94841788
also i'd like to remind you that the sac trigger thing is equivalent to seeing a benefit to a one-sided tunable boardwipe against yourself - free sac effects exist at common. Ashnod's Altar utterly embarrasses this thing

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Choose one

>>94841940
This, but hybrid.

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>>94841952

>>94841966
... anon....

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>>94841952

>>94841940
I wish there was a Rakdos prowess deck possible somewhere. Izzet and Boros prowess are fucking gay.

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>>94841940
I refuse to choose

>>94842144
??? Are you serious anon????

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>he thinks magic can compete
Enjoy your nonbinary sheboons (she/they) on every card

>>94842230
Only a real pedo can like this shit.

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I'm working with a LGS in my city to run a 100% proxy Vintage tournament in about 1 month. I'm looking for advice on how to attract people to play. Some details:
-City population ~1.5mil, largest in country
-Fortnightly legacy days get 8-12 players on average, no proxies allowed
-Host store is centrally located and is viable
-Entry fee is low at $10 with prizes just being store credit, rather than win-a-dual with a higher entry the way most of that stores events are. This is to encourage people to just print up a deck and play for fun even if they don't know much about the format
-Advertising is being done by word of mouth, relevant facebook groups and the store's facebook page and website
-I'm planning on having some decks printed up and ready to lend to anyone who shows up unprepared

Is there anything else I can do to attract more players?

>>94842291
No not really.
Zoomer funko pop afficionados don't care about old fogey format.
Entrenched players will already show up, if they care.

Magic sucks. You're better off hosting a different game.

dead game

>>94842230
Which one is that again? Weiis/Schwarz or this Vanguard whatever?

>>94840172
The biggest gay mcguffin in all of magic story is Urza feeling bad for Phyrexians and turning on his allies at the final moments.
This is the same kind of retarded mindset the writers of Battlestar Galactica had, where somehow a virus killing the human-genociding androids would be "unethical".
If they wanted to end the Urza arch there are infinite number of ways to do it with more finesse.

>>94842426
Urza is still less retarded and evil than Jotc itself.

>>94842291
Cardboard cutouts of women.

>>94842269
Are you suggesting magic judges?

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>>94839864
No seriously, what compels JotC to pull off female-gaze stuff like this? It's still a male-dominated hobby right? It is where I live. Hyper-coomer nerds with sexy playmats, sleeves and tokens even

>>94842609
>It's still a male-dominated hobby right?
99.8% Male
0.2% Female (male)

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>>94842611
In my experience girls (female, woman, ) coming into magic are bought to their hobby by their husband/boyfriend. Never saw one all by herself.

>>94842618
>Never saw one all by herself.
I have seen one (1) lone female. Cosplay culture vultures are also around the scene for those sweet sweet coombux.
Even with all the effort to sell MTG to a wider audience, the core player base remains about as male a hobby as miniature train diorama building or WW1 reenactment wargaming.

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>>94840333
Seething Song

>>94841567
Wise phyrexian. Instead of installing the new OS kept using the old one that was abandoned by the developers and hackers-planeswalkers as well.
>>94842082
Don't remember me that they are fucking lorwin next.
I don't want to see nigger elfs with antlers... Bronze skined ones? Ok. Chocolate/Ebon skinned ones with huge lips no boobies (if female) ? Hell no
They will totally butcher the elves aesthetics of "classic"/exquisite Beauty=Supremacy. And we all know the elves will not be racists as a whole as a racial thing, they will probably make some elf rednecks that are racists and are ruing it for others (I have to admit, if they do it might be ironically kino)
>>94842611
>99.8% Male
>0.2% Female (male)
More like
92.9% Male ()
7.0% Female ()
0.1% Female ()

>>94842795
>92.9% Male ()
>7.0% Female ()
>0.1% Female ()
Forgot there is a ascii filter
92.9% Male (Xy)
7.0% Female (Xy)
0.1% Female (XX)

>>94842618
I know 3 female solo players. But they all play casually, mostly edh and drafts (that I host)

They really need to stop printing so many cards with free activated abilities so brainlets can hold priority and drag out every game.

>>94842924
>They really need to stop printing so many cards with free activated abilities so brainlets can hold priority and drag out every game.
WRONG.
More activated abilities means more demand MORE SALES.

>>94842939
I reveal chancellor of the annex as a pregame action and cast suppression field off a simian spirit guide and basic plains
Pass

>>94842338
this brother. people are literally fighting each other in stores over pokemon. that game is GOOD bro

>>94842958
I cast Force of Vigor on your end step.

>>94842980
Chancellor trigger

>>94843007
Mana monke.

>>94839885
Do you think people don't hate the 5 million Chandra cards because she's entirely irrelevant to the """story"""?
Compared to the bestest best boy that everyone loves Jace you love him more than life itself Beleren?

>>94840789
No. He's leaving oil everywhere because they retconned him being able to clean his foot.
One the dumbest retcons.

>>94840789
>(that's why he was leaving Phyrexian oil everywhere he went)
Was is the operative word.
That was hard retconned. He can clean it now lol.

>>94843114
>>94843175
i'm confused - is that still Xantcha's heartstone or no? if not... what the fuck is it?

>>94843212
>i'm confused - is that still Xantcha's heartstone or no?
I'unno. Maybe. It's still technically in the lore but it just kind of stopped being a problem, and they never really established what changed or why.

>>94843214
>Karn/Xantcha's heartstone got Mirari'd
grim

>>94843228
Karn inexplicably now going around crushing peoples'skulls with his bare hands was a worse retcon of his character than the ichor thing, imo.

>>94843232
he fucking WHAT

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>>94839961
>“{T}: Add {R} for each Goblin you control.”
WEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

>>94843235
It's in the WAR Novel.
Karn, the legendarily pacifist character, defeats his enemies by crushing their skulls in his bare hands.

>>94843248
this makes me viscerally unhappy
however, the WAR era lore is a mess in the novels because IIRC it was during a lot of creative turnover (like, the people who had built up the Bolas arc got shown the door right before it concluded). i may be misremembering the timeline, but novels from that era are dubiously canon at best, and often written by people who obviously had no idea who the characters were or what the lore of MtG was. outsourcing the novels to the cheapest contractors they could find, basically (killed the whole novel readership)

>>94843106
Jace is actually useful

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>>94843286
>i may be misremembering the timeline, but novels from that era are dubiously canon at best
Having the largest single event in your lore's history be dubiously canonical at best is such a WotC move.

How would you make people care about Magic lore?

>>94843311
The same way they did it throughout the 90s and 2000s.
Make it not complete shit.

>>94843311

make it really good instead of kids stories.

>>94843311
Hire real creatives, not retards with marketing degrees from DEI universities.

>>94843311
Making a popular show about it.

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>>94843311
Writing.
Writing good stuff.
But let's be serious, even if they could, is that even necessary? No one cared for the lore before the problem is now selling your IP ass to external companies just for the sake of short term profits and destroying the identity of a game everyone loved before you started to shit on it sistematically.

I didn't care about Ajani, Ashiok or Teferi a long time ago, but at least i knew they were related to my favourite card game. When in July/August i see someone casting Uncle Ben or Tifa i will be wondering what the hell i'm playing

>>94843346
I can already imagine S1 being universally praised, and going downhill S2 becoming more and more pozzed as seasons happen. Except its absolute California dogshit episode one.

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>Cast it
>They instantly die
I can't believe nobody plays this clown show of a card in Pioneer Sacrifice.
It's literally an instant kill alongside Mayhem Devil., and you don't even risk anything as you don't have to sacrifice much if they kill the Devil in response. Worst case scenario you just cycle your garbage into 5-10 cards.

>>94843232
>>94843248
Except he had already renounced his pacifism during the original Phyrexian invasion and pulped people then, too. But, surely, you read those books as well and aren't just getting mad to have something to get mad about, right?

>>94843294
Best we can tell, the broad swathes of War of the Spark still happened. Forsaken is still ambiguously canon, like some parts have more or less been walked back or ignored, and the only holdovers that've been brought up are Gideon's statue and Ravnica having the Chain Veil now.

>>94843381
The problem is is it doesn't matter how good the writing is, you can't make people read it. There's been some great stories in Magic, both in the books and the webfiction, and it doesn't matter. The most-read story is Truth of Names because it got a lot of widespread praise for being a trans-positive story, but that didn't do a lot to get people invested into the wider narrative of Magic. A show is unironically the best way it could be done, because people will watch a show. Very few people gave a shit about League of Legends' lore before Arcane for example.

>>94843311
Ditch multi-set, long-running narratives. Close the fucking omenpaths. Self-contained stories, with planeswalkers as supporting characters. Planeswalkers have character growth and personal narratives, but you don't need to know them in great detail to understand a specific set's story.

Oh, and longer visits. If we have four sets per year, two will be one-off visits, while the other two will be two consecutive large sets on the same plane, like with the latest Innistrad visit. One-offs for experimental planes or shallow revisits, while the two connected sets will be used for things that delve a little deeper or have too much complexity to fit into a single set, like Ravnica.

Killing blocks was a mistake.

>>94842230
On the other hand remembering which cute anime magical girl does what must be really annoying.

>>94841628
I mean the "designed by people" cards

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>>94844405

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>>94843662
I play bontu in golgari food version because I can tutor it with traverse the ulvenwald

>>94843316
>>94843325
Read a book lmao mtg story has always been garbage.

>>94843504
>S1 being universally praised,
The thing has been in development hell for years, and knowing how cheap wizard is with its derived products it will be a miracle if it's not a total trainwreck.

>>94842609
its not female-gaze, its faggot gaze

>opponent destroys/exiles my omniscience 5 times in one game
>I reanimate omniscience 7 times

>>94844549
>faggot expert
not the brag you think this is

>>94843311
There are plenty of well written Magic stories, the main issue is that they always blunder when trying to tie it all together into a giant plot. Plus even if they did pull it off, there's simply not enough people who read long running fiction. Like others have said, a TV show is a good move. But not like what they're trying to do at Netflix with in universe characters, it would need to be something where people can watch the show and then go play the game doing the same thing as their favorite characters. See how Arcane was very well received but didn't actually impact player numbers much, whereas shows like Edgerunners and Fallout did. So basically pull a Yugioh.

>>94844640
I think Arcane didn't bring in players because literally every League player who had somebody who watched Arcane went "dear god do not play this game". Magic players by and large still enjoy their game. It's also MUCH less impenetrable than League.

>>94844671
That's also part of it, for sure.

>>94844707
That said there's also a greater disconnect between Magic's lore and gameplay than League's lore and gameplay (League still has a lot, but it at least still has its characters moving around and interacting, etc.)
But who knows. There's already a fair few people who just read the Magic story and don't buy anything, anyway.

>>94843311
You don't even necessarily need good lore, you just need a consistent creative vision that respects both itself and the reader. Before WAR, there were dedicated people who still followed the story because they were interested in the Gatewatch. Chandra/Nissa basically materialized as a result of Tumblr and Twitter shipping them even though they're both barely characters. People gave a shit. The story fell off in WAR because the author obviously didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Invested readers, even if they don't know a lot about writing, can tell intuitively when the author is taking the piss. It's why WAR pissed people off. It's why MOM pissed people off. And it's why the cavalcade of shit-for-brains Hearthstone sets we've gotten this year pissed people off. The Weatherlight Saga wasn't perfect by any means, but people remember it fondly now because it took itself seriously and respected the reader's time. You opened a Weatherlight book for fantasy swashbuckling and you got it, and for the most part A led to B led to C.

Monkeys paw
You wish for a high production value MTG series
You think you're getting Arcane
Instead you get Nocturne

>>94844720
That's the reason the show would have to be about people playing the game, not Chandra and Ajani buddy cop adventures or whatever. It's not about selling them on the lore, it's about selling the idea of having fun while playing the game. The lore (for most people) is just fluff. Imagine:
>MC and gang each focus a different color, hang out at their LGS to play games
>MC is dorky loner girl who tries to be edgy, main color is black
>also has overactive imagination and visualizes all the games as real battles, you can throw in lore stuff this way
>best friend is extroverted sporty type who adopts puppies, focused on green
>blue player is obligatory autist who constantly tries to make jank work but always fails (until the one episode where it actually works and they're unstoppable)
>red player is the class clown and has a secret crush on MC
>white player is a himbo who takes MC's imagination the most seriously and plays along
>the start can be setting up each character of the group and show them goofing around, as time goes on you can shift them into color pairs and add more characters that fill missing ones, WotC could also make starter decks like "MC's RB deck", it's easy advertising

>>94844957
>MC's starter deck
>Commander deck
>Deck is unplayable dogshit even by Commander standards
>Entire wave of people getting scammed by $50 turd precon

>>94844957
Right, but now you’ve moved on to solving a different problem. The original question was how to get people to care about Magic’s lore, not how to make a successful advertisement for the game.

>>94841429
It accelerates to 8 on after untapping on 5.

>>94845039
Getting people into the game IS how you get them to care about the lore. I don't have any of the numbers, but I'd be willing to bet there are far more people who read Magic stories because they play the game than there are people who play the game because they read Magic stories. Once they're already invested, you can then move along to "hey you remember MC's favorite card? yeah that's Lilianna, she did X and Y in the lore and really fucked things over for everyone, here's a bunch of stories if you want to find out more", maybe even have it happen in universe so the characters are learning about the lore too.

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>>94841940
I choose both.

>>94843311
>Make a Netflix anime
If it can work for Cyberpunk, it can work for literally anything. Normies are just THAT fucking retarded.

>>94844878
Arcane is normie trite.

>>94844518
Which is why I mentioned californian dogshit. It would be a miracle if S1 was good, but even those don't last long. God forbid another Cyberpunk anime from happening.

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>>94844957
So the manga? Good fucking luck because in its surface it stands for everything JotC isnt.

>>94844475
Honestly a great choice since Bontu is also a body in a pinch. I'll try it out.

>>94844481
No, it has always been perfectly serviceable, campy pulp fiction cringekino. Which is all it ever needed to be.

Somehow they can't even hold up the standard of "adequate enough"

>>94845219
At the same time, I can’t claim with a straight face that War of the Spark was any worse than Scourge. March of the Machine might have been, but not by as much as people would like to think.

>>94845187
>Mono W girl loves land destruction
Waifu material

>>94845390
>I can’t claim with a straight face that War of the Spark was any worse than Scourge.
I fucking can. WAR was a god damned fucking abomination.

>>94845390
The worst MTG story probably still is Quest for Karn. Forsaken is just more well-known. It's still dogshit, but not AS dogshit.

>>94841230
I really dont think wotc would even notice if a few people didnt buy a few boxes. Even more i truly doubt that some sort of art mandate of any kind would fly, which is the main issue, the art of the cards. Kinda wild how much the views of society have changed in a decade. I think a bit of cheese cake in fantasy art is fine btw.

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>>94841940
This is what I really want

>>94845509
I don't think this could be three counters at 2cmc, but I dig the design.

Maybe 1 counter but for phyrexian mana.

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>>94845063
So you spend 6 total mana, somehow equip and stick a creature in the face of removal, then sacrifice it anyway, to accelerate by +3 mana

Meanwhile
Map the Frontier reads:
>ramp +2 mana
>put another land into your hand so you can play it next turn for +3 mana guaranteed 7 mana next turn
>surveil 1
>surveil 1 again
>surveil 1 again the next turn
>thin your deck by 2 lands

Not to mention if you use map the frontier with amulet or spelunking it can cost 0 net mana because you can get 2x arid archways and tap them for 4

>>94839961
>13/13 Vehicle with Crew 2 that costs one mana to cast
>Three planeswalkers
>Whenever you draw a card, each opponent mills two cards.”
>exhaust ability
>“Put any number of permanent cards from your hand onto the battlefield.”
>Creature – Seal Pirate
Can they just not?

>>94845601
>Three planeswalkers
Read the whole thing, it's just desparked legendary creatures.

>>94845645
Oh yeah read that wrong

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>>94845601
I hope exhaust is an improvement on exert now that we have stun counters.

>>94845645
>Natives
Samut
Saheeli
>non-native
Daretti
Who is the last one?

>>94845698
Basri Ket is the Amonkhet Racing Captain.

>>94845698
Muraganda native dinosaur planeswalker, desparked offscreen before ever even appearing as a planeswalker card

>>94845736
>>94845728
Well, guess not. WotC isn't brave enough for a sub-sapient planeswalker, it seems. Or maybe they're braver than we think.

Garruk doesn't count.

Looking forward to the UB bonus sheet
>So yeah, i'm going to pay three mana to cast "Max Verstappen, he who lols" for his DRS cost, meaning he can't be blocked by creatures without haste and gets a +1/+1 counter. I will swing for six, then since i control "Lando Norris, last lap master" i create three bottle tokens and pass.

>>94844206
>Very few people gave a shit about League of Legends' lore before Arcane for example.
None of the people who started caring about League lore after watching Arcane play the game.

>>94844549
Fair enough, but I know women (actual real women. XX) into this kind of shit.

>>94844549
>He never got to hanf out with the store fujo

>>94845698
Daretti and Basri we know. Saheeli is in the commander decks but maybe not the main set so I don't think she counts. Samut might get a card and they might retcon Garruk as being from Muraganda.

>>94845976
>they might retcon Garruk as being from Muraganda
Garruk has no confirmed birthplane. They might as well put him in Shandalar.

>>94845976
They are never making another Garruk card because he's problamatic

>>94844619
"gay men like men"
"wow you must be a faggot expert!"
there are no real women at wizards, yet there are a ton of trannies and faggots
all top mtg "content" creators are open faggots
they arent trying to get women to spend money on cards, but to get the faggot autistic men that already spend most of their paycheck on cards to spend even more

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>>94846003

>>94846014
Not the same as an actual card of him

>>94846046
But clearly he is not problematic if he redeemed himself, is what I meant.

Garruk being an utter asshole was so fun back then. Then people had to whine because he attacked Liliane (another example of being an utter asshole back then) just because she was a woman shown in an "rapey" pose on that card

>>94846067
Ah okay, makes sense

>>94845995
Shandalar I think was confirmed as his first planeswalk, actually, so that's basically the only plane he 100% cannot be from.

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>>94845976
It's him

>>94846480
What i'm looking at?

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>>94846512

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>>94846512

>>94846525
>>94846527
Oh fuck i'm blind thanks anons

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>>94846560
Notably, the outline is similar but the axe is different from the one he normally carries. Could just mean he got a new axe, could be a different dude entirely. It's suspicious that they threw in a random human outline in the middle of all those oozes though.

>>94846588
Would mean Garruk is desparked, which is sad because he'd be the only one of the Lorwyn 5 to be (I know Vivien's largely replaced him in recent years as the default green walker but still).

>>94846604
He'll come back, except he's incredibly gay now.

Threw together a modern list since I liked the legacy version so much recently. Mana base doesn't quite feel right yet but games are usually pretty good if Kaldera ever comes out so I'm liking the general idea.

mvp so far, other than stoneforge, is Sanctifier. Probably going to try to fit a third copy in.

https://www.mtggoldfish.com/deck/6874820#paper

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i did open the nuts, this guy was right to be upset

>>94846781
>Garruk, Apex Lover
>+1 Tap another permanent with male in art: Draw a card
>+1 Put a 3/3 "Black Beast" creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield (it's considered a white creature)

>>94846781
He is gonna be apart of Jace's desparked walker harem.
Garruk is the tsundere

>>94845976
>Saheeli is in the commander decks but maybe not the main set so I don't think she counts
The list is pretty short for native walkers
For Kaladesh we have Saheeli, Chandra (who get a walker card) and Dovin Baan (who is dead)
For Amonkhet there is only Samut and Basri.
So they either resurect Dovin Baan, they give Saheeli two cards or like you say they retcon Garruk as being from Muraganda.

>>94846588
The helm silhouette is a dead giveaway.
>>94846604
I don't really understand what they want to do with her character - she does basically nothing, interacts with barely anybody, and travels for the express purpose of petting animals.
It feels like the MtG storyline is just stalking this random woman who just wants to enjoy her multiverse-wide zoo trip for no other reason than "she's green."
It's also a bit difficult to develop her character since they blew up her home plane offscreen before she was even introduced.

The lineup of "monocolor walkers" has always been a bit unstable - Nissa had G for a while, she's the one who replaced Garruk when he went Golgari. Vraska sorta unseated Liliana at least temporarily in B, but that makes sense for Liliana (her character arc was pretty complete with WAR). Ajani lost W to Gideon for a while until the latter up and died.

There was a period where Teferi was being pushed as U (never did like that, personally - he's better in UW; yes, I know his original card is U, but it's a spell hate effect that fits in UW better than U; it's not the character's fault 3feri was busted), but Jace was never unseated as the face of U, and Chandra has never been unseated as the face of R. I think there's a solid argument to be made that the face of B has always been Liliana, even with Vraska around, because Vraska kinda struggles to be her own character in the absence of Jace. Alison Luhrs pulled a rabbit out of both Jace and Vraska's hats with the story in Ixalan block (Jace's motives and actions were sometimes less comprehensibly human than those of his gorgon GF in much of the previous story). But she then immediately got moved to a managerial role while the MtG creative team was being gutted; she wasn't really writing for MtG again in earnest until spring last year, and had left WotC for part of that time - we may not actually see much narrative input from her until Tarkir or Eternities, given how long set lead times are.

>>94846588
It's gonna be a radical topical racing bearded axe. Screencap this.

>>94845532
2 mana sorcery speed -3/-3 removal is so weak that they stapled gain 2 life and draw a free copy of debtor's knell to it and it still doesn't see play in standard anymore
residual counters and recursion would be the upsides necessary to make it actually see play

>>94847145
I think G is the hardest to make protags for, since it's the color of just wanting to grill. W gets the heroic types, U has explorers and is the most mage feeling of all colors, R is a stereotypical hothead who does things because they feel like it, even B has interesting moral conflicts and potential for character growth. G is the least proactive color flavorwise and they already gave Garruk what's probably the most active aspect of the slice, hunting shit. The only thing I could really think of for another G planeswalker would be a monk who travels to see the world and grow as a person, but that's already leaning into UG.

>>94847145
For now for the walker that aren't confirmed to be desparked we have:
W: Ajani, Teyo (the guy with the shield), Elspeth, and technically Basri but he will most likely get desparked this set
U: Jace, Mu Yanling (the chinese one)
B: Liliana, Davriel, Ashiok (last card was B, but he is more often UB)
R: Chandra
G: Garruk, Vivien, Jiang Yanggu (the chinese one)
WU: Teferi
WB: Sorin,Kaya
WR:Quintorius
WG: Nobody
UB: Kaito
UR: Ral
UG: Oko, Kasmina
BR: Angrath
BG: Grist
RG: Arlinn
Colorless: Ugin
And for the rest you have Estrid (a commander only walker) ,Dihada,Jared and Dakkon

>>94847581
Forgot Tezzeret for UB

>>94847639
Not him but wasn't Tezzeret desparked as a consequence of getting the planar brudge shit under control?

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>>94847666
God i hope not.
He looks really cool and dominating in the upcoming set.

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>>94847666
The MtG salvation wiki still has it as a Planeswalker and he didn't get a desparked card also he will be the face of Edge of Eternities, like Oko was for thunder Junction or Ashiok for wild I think it's safe to assume he still has his spark.

>>94847736
>Edge of Eternities
Oh right i forgot we were getting a space set.
>Tezzeret ditching the dreads

>>94847808
MTGsalvation wiki had an entry about how Ral and Tomik(?) were hiding their relationship because they feared prejudice for being gay.
I said it had because after that wotc demanded them to remove it and then went in a public statement about not being homophobic in the multiverse and how even bolas isn't evil enough to hate gays.

(moral of the story: wotc is full of bullshit and will retcon/change small bits of the story on a whim and nobody dares to call their bullshit out)

>>94847736
Still mad about no dreads

>>94847881
>wotc demanded them to remove it
Nnno, Doug just posted that it was incorrect and then made the stupid fucking statement.
That said, there was no basis for them to have originally said it was due to prejudice--the wiki made that bit up whole-cloth. They'd been hiding their relationship because of the guild dynamics, and the story was pretty explicit about that.

>>94847827
>>94847891
White men shouldn't have dreads

>>94847907
Funny because 2 of my old mtg buddies had dreads back in the 2010-2015 and they both were white (they both were also junkies that did drugs almost daily)
Fun times, they left mtg in the right time imo.

>>94848056
>having money for both MtG and drugs
A different time for sure

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>fetchable and cheatable with stoneforge mystic
>fetchable with k4rn
>mythic rare
>static ability
>2 hard-to-fill types for goyf in case that's relevant somehow
It's a given that this thing is going to be grotesquely overpowered. My question is how bad do the abilities have to be for it to not be egregious? Even if they're average at best, it being tutorable and sometimes cheatable is going to make it nuts.

My only prediction for Aetherdrift is that there will be a minimum of ten ways to turn a Vehicle into a creature without using a Crew ability

>>94847145
>>94847524
Ajani exists in this weird space where he is whites Iconic, but is also a big lion man that by existing as such is less hyper optimized for mass appeal. Alongside that he just didn't express a strong character on his cards in part because by the time they were doing Alara they didn't know how much to tie in the Walkers with the sets and going dual color twice harmed is identity as the Mono-W Walker.

Jace, Lili, and Chandra get to stay as the perennial iconics because they just hit the perfect mark the first time out with them. There is a reason Jace and Chandra got front ticket billing in Worldwake and the two standalone Planeswalker Novels of the era (with Lili and Gideon in supporting roles).

Garruk was as stated a do nothing character and then when they tried to do something with him and Lili it caused the first modern controversy over content in MTG and caused them to push him to the side for a few years.

The Gatewatch was conceived and locked in a certain group which held for a time and once Nissa failed to gain that much traction.
Vivien was the intended replacement. However she came about at the exact same time the creative team of the Gatewatch Era was replaced thanks to new management and so suffered from the chaotic and anemic lore of the WAR era story.

>>94848220
Aetherdrift seems like another set where they try to do too many things at once so I doubt there will have that many ways.

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What's the opinion on Kiora now that she's not a walker anymore?

>>94848182
"You can't activate loyalty abilities of the aetherspark unless its equipped"

GREASEFANG CHADS OUR TIME IS NEAR

>>94848182
I only have one bet:
This thing will end banned. Format? Don't care, when? Don't know, but this shit will lead to real bullshit that will need a ban 100%

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>>94848292
Still a cute fishfu

>>94848307
>*ghost vacuums your vehicle*
lol
lmao even

>>94848307
greasefang was the #1 deck in pioneer for a time
it was good enough for pseudo eternal formats
greasefang was legal in standard for 3 years
greasefang was legal in standard for 3 years with a whole crop of his support cards like raffines informant, can't stay away, etc, and even less than the goodies we have now

greasefang saw zero play
not a single relevant top end vehicle was printed in that whole span

Parhelion III

>>94848417
Esika's Battlewagon {4GG}
Legendary Artifact - Vehicle
When Esika's Battlewagon enters or attacks, create a 2/2 green Cat creature token, then for each non-legendary token you control, create a copy of it.
Crew 4
8/8

>>94848417
Make it the same as Parhelion II but with a Grand Abolisher riding on top

>>94848182
>Static ability
It could just be an explanation that it does nothing until it's equipped. That being said the loyalty abilities would have to be shit.

>>94848640
And draws cards

>>94848292
>>94848335
>spends literally all of her time doing exactly two things:
>1. finding big cephalopods to throw at people
>2. throwing big cephalopods at people
Of all the characters who lost their sparks, I think I want her to get hers back the most, just because I want to see her randomly show up somewhere again with her "if it didn't work, I just needed a bigger octopus to throw at the problem" attitude.
She really speaks to my own cephalopod autism, since she clearly has cephalopod autism.

Second one who needs her spark back IMO is Nahiri, because she never should have lost it in the first place. She got done incredibly dirty by the wrap-up storyline for the Phyrexian invasion and it really just felt like it was kicking her while she was down. They dangle the hope that she'd kept it in front of both the audience and the character and then literally shatter it by having her... drop her spark-preservation hedron on the ground by accident. It's so fucking retarded.

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>>94847145
>Chandra has never been unseated as the face of R
Probably because the lineup of other red characters just don't cut it as mainstays.
Sarkhan's tied with dragons in all of his cards, can't do that every set and he frequently goes multicolor.
Koth's got a genuinely weird identity as the red lands guy, can't use that every time you wanna do a red planeswalker.
Daretti's genuinely just wasted character who should be red's artifact sacrifice guy popping up every now and then. I chalk it up to his concept up as too weird to use often.
Tibalt's first card was so actually bad he was boo'd off stage by fans. Killed later as a joke.
Jaya could have been a mainstay but unfortunately she took a trip to the beach that makes you old and lost all of her market appeal so she was killed off.
Lukka was forgettable.

Chandra's just the burn and spells girl, she's safe and easy for them since red does that shit. It does feel like there could be a niche for a goblin tribal planeswalker similar to how Sarkhan is with dragons, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it.

>>94849175
It's weird how they desparked or killed every other red Planeswalker though.

>>94849175
Anon I no joke thought the list was complete until you mentioned Lukka. I'd completely forgotten he existed. Debuting at the same time as the companion mechanic really does a number on memorability.

You may have forgotten Rowan, but I'd argue she doesn't really count since she was a package deal with Will.

>>94845106
The original Arena novel had elements of cards and lands, but tied into an in universe story. Spells were cast from a spell satchel with physical tokens, getting more mana took time during combat so cheaper spells mattered. Individual cards were referenced by name, such as Juggernaut and Fireball. While I'm not advocating adapting that novel specifically, I think it's a better method than a show about literally playing mtg. Or you could adapt that MTG manga into a big budget anime. It already comes with promo cards.

>>94848307
greasefang restricts design space for vehicles. don't expect anything better than parhelion or chariot to be printed.

Im mostly into mtg to collect cards with art that I like, I do like the lore of the planes but I dont think Ive ever liked many of the planeswalker focused storylines. For the people more invested in this, how do you feel about the desparking? To me the desparking+omen path+competitions to give someone a spark seem totally pointless.
Like if the purpose was to have less planeswalkers why immediately roll it back, as well dont omen paths basically do the same thing as planeswalking at the end of the day story wise?

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>>94849326
Rowan only got one true mono red card and it was in a duel deck for beginners. Otherwise she's always been paired with Will in some way. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing for the character since it sets her apart from the others, but hard to consider her when talking about mono color planeswalkers they could use as the main red character instead of Chandra.

>>94849402
The desparking was almost entirely done for out-of-universe reasons of "planeswalker design space is small". Omenpaths do kind of mean that the Multiverse of Magic risks blending together but so far that hasn't REALLY happened, in fact they seem to have tried their fucking hardest to make characters try way too hard to fit into the planes they're on. Aetherdrift actually doesn't do that that much, for what it's worth, everybody looks like they're from their home plane, so maybe OTJ was just a weird outlier.
That all said, the desparking just feels ultimately pointless in-lore, it doesn't feel like it's even 'happened' to all that many people. It's being used to justify Aetherdrift, or rather Chandra's participation in it, but it's still just a vague unexplained random event that seems to have happened just to have a 'consequence' to the invasion. And it feels sort of 'diminishing' to see some favourite characters become 'just' legendary creatures.

>>94849430
I guess my personal tastes are for there to be minimal out of plane characters are really grinding against the way they are handling this. I li Generally speaking as someone with a casual interest in mtg the one and done plane blocks dont capture me. I like when we go to a new plane and the story is mostly about the people in that plane doing things, OTJ being a outlier I really disliked, especially.
I dont think it helps that I love Unsets and aetherdrift feels like a unset to me that isnt allowed to actually comit to being a wacky races set.

>>94845728
Basri should be the new icon for White planeswalker. Ajani just doesn’t exude white mana-ness

>>94849538
You just answered your own question.

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>>94849538
Timmy's commander dying to bolt is toxic antifun. Now buy Bolt (Commander version)

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>play booster boxes now 30 packs
the purpose of this is to drive up the prices of singles, making packs more appealing especially in the short term after a set releases, right?
less volume being opened at the same price naturally means less product in existence, so either people wait longer for the singles to become affordable or just buy a few packs in the mean time since 'wow value!'
not that this affects me mind you.
>buy singles while product is in print (cheap)
>proxy when product is out of print (expensive)
and i genuinely don't mind switching completely to proxies if in-print product creeps up in price.

>>94849632
This card seems really strong. Why have I never heard of it before?

>>94849944
Commander card in the set that added Nadu and tons of Eldrazi support.

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I'm about to try ranked in MTG Arena for the first time. Just how geekd out are the decks in ranked? I have an upgraded Azorius detective precon that I've had a bit of success with in freeplay. Am I going to get crushed here?

>>94849981
>Just how geekd out are the decks in ranked?
>I have an upgraded precon
Imagine the most annoying grating hair pulling decks you encountered in unranked and then imagine them ran by sweaty neckbeards who paid real money to upgrade the landbase and have more mythics than you.

>Am I going to get crushed here?
Your deck would maybe win a limited draft.

>>94849753
This is really annoying because I only buy boxes to draft with three friends and that means 18 packs left over to not divide evenly what the fuck wotc it's like you don't want my money

>>94850051
I’d start hoarding traditional style draft booster boxes while you can. This new business model is going to make 36 pack booster draft boxes look great by comparison.

>>94850287
I wouldn't mind if it was in a multiple of four(24, 28, 32) . Just seems so fucking stupid how every change is for the worst

>>94849356
Or they could just use the system brought up in Time Streams and Bloodlines
Spoilers
They include such moments as
Barrin actually using blue mana to summon creatures as he fight afleeing battle against hyrexians.
Urza "tapping out" and then getting blown the fuck out
Ratha& Kreign VS a Phyrexian Champion
Actually any objections to me just posting the full G&K chapter because its really good.

>>94849753
>purpose of this is to drive up the prices of singles, making packs more appealing especially
It lowers box prices without lowering per pack prices. People are not buying 160$ boxes that don't have special art treatments.

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>>94849632
>Hey, do you think people will understand what we're implying by someone's face being burned off, even though the fire is invisible?
>Of course not! Our players are STUPID! Give it a dumb stencil glow so people can see it!
Talentless losers ruin everything.

Why are MB2 booster boxes so expensive? I've got 2 of em in the closet for an eventual draft but I was kinda surprised when I looked up their price

>>94850340
Do it, I love the older characters from Invasion block that I first got into the game over. My favorite games were from unsleeved tabletop high school games with Commodore Guff enchantments.
Invasion block, Odyssey block and Onslaught block is the best age of Magic there is next to the Weatherlight Saga.

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>>94850400
Alright, this is part of Artifacts Cycle: Bloodlines
Context Gatha is a geneticist that used to work for Urza but set out on his own to the land of Keld. there he found a people that valued strength above all else and found a place boosting their natural selection eugenics. The end result of which was Kreig who cast aside the old ways and rose Gatha from a place of useful distain to a respected comrade.
Now the Phyrexias have arrived looking to destroy any chance of genetically modified resistance.

1/
Kreig roared a defiant laugh, his deep voice echoing within the
wide-open vaults of the Necropolis—his Necropolis. The bellows
challenged the sleeping corpses of better than one thousand years of
Keldon rulers. None answered. He growled a sharp oath, enjoying
this moment among his ancestors.
Three exterior walls banked inward as they rose majestically
overhead to a ceiling of polished, dark-gray stone. The entire fourth
side was open to the thin mountain air—as no mortal walls could
hope to contain the warlords and witch kings of Keld. The scent of
new snow carried in on cutting winds, the frigid grip tugging at
Kreig’s long, dark braids and brushing an icy touch against his bare
chest and arms. Thousands of tombs lined the walls, each no larger
than the slab of marble on which a warlord would some day rest.
Many of these were already bricked up, sealing fallen warlords into
place until the final battle.
A faded mural painted over the ceiling’s wide expanse depicted
that promised legend. The Call to Return—the moment that marks
the end of the world—that would sound of a thousand battle cries
after the Necropolis filled. The warlords would rise again to be led
by the greatest of their number. An army unto themselves, they
would lead the rest of the Keldon nation to war. The mural depicted
the great army sweeping down from the Necropolis to conquer all of
Dominaria, a bright sunrise over the Necropolis bathing the land red
as with blood.

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>>94850447
2/
Kreig walked among the several hundred sarcophagi that rested
upon the vault’s floor, each trimmed in a varied measure of silver or
gold depending on the fame and prowess of the warrior within. The
greatest of the Keldon leaders were these, placed lower down in the
Necropolis and so ready to lead the way out once the dead rose.
Only here did Kreig walk among peers. Even the greatest war lords
eventually came to rest here, all warlords. Except Kreig?
It was not a question he felt able to answer with any degree of
certainty. Not anymore
In a century and a half of life and warfare, Kreig had never felt the
mortal coils settle about him as in the last decade. Since the dark
invaders began pushing at the edges of his nation he felt it. Gatha
knew something of them as the mage knew about nearly everything.
They were beings of another world. Phyrexians, he had called them
—born of nature and made over again with machine. Such ideas
confused Kreig’s sense of the natural order where the strongest led
and others followed. These Phyrexians bled and died the same as
other races. They were innumerable, perhaps, but not invincible.
In twenty-three battles against them, Kreig had yet to personally
know defeat. Four other witch kings with their warhosts had,
though. The Keldon warhosts no longer traveled out into Dominaria
except on the very rare and highly paid expedition. It was only
enough to support the nation, if barely, as the majority remained
home and continued to fight the dark ones. Kreig tracked the battles
over fifty years, at first beginning only with minor raids and probing
maneuvers. Those attacks gradually stepped up in strength until no
other nation on Dominaria could have matched such an enemy. The
Keldons remained battle-ready, even in their own homes, their
lands having always served as a large armed camp. The mountains
were known to them, comfortable to them. No one could hope to
fight as well in this territory.
And they were losing.

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>>94850462
Made of obsidian, it was glassy and mirrorlike in its thousands of
facets. The small building was trimmed in heavy gold with weapons
adorning outside and inside walls both. A gate of wrought iron
barred entry but allowed for viewing within. A hanging rack for his
armor occupied one corner, and the sarcophagus waited with lid
half-drawn as it had for one hundred years. No similar structure
decorated the vaults, just as there had never been a warlord such as
he. It had been built a century before, on his order, right at the very
lip of the vaults, built where Kreig knew he could hurl a spear out
over the edge and have it not smash into ground for a good half mile
drop or more, depending on the winds. The warlord had never
thought to occupy that crypt, knowing within himself that no
Dominarian could ever hope to kill him. He had been right—the
Phyrexians weren’t Dominarian.
Fingers wrapped into the iron bars of the crypt door, the cold
metal sticking to his warm skin, Kreig ground his teeth in fury. One
hundred fifty years of experience promised him that the enemy
would come for him soon—for Gatha and he both. His warrior
instinct drove him to fight, and he would, at the head of the largest
combined warhost the Keldon nation had ever known. An event
which would survive centuries of retelling, it would be known in the
oral histories until the day when The Call to Return finally sounded.
His muscles bunched and strained, his mortal limits set against
metal and stone. Coarse-threaded screws set into a mortared jamb
wrenched free. He yelled his anger and defiance in a guttural shout.
The iron gate twisted and came away in his hands. He held it
overhead and with another savage cry pitched it from the lip of the
Necropolis out into the thin, frozen air. He heard it whistle away,
fade, and be lost. It fell down far enough that he never heard it hit,
and that sat well with Kreig. Let it be lost.

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>>94850467
If he was ever to be laid to rest here, it would not be within
confines which could be built by man—not even Keldon man.


Rough blankets draped most of the equipment in Gatha’s labs,
gray shrouds rank with colos sweat having been used as saddle
blankets in the past. Gatha hated that scent, even after three
centuries in Keld where the musk of that mountain animal seemed
to permeate every facet of life. He wondered if the Keldons hated
the large beasts as much.
He shrugged and shook his head, dispelling his speculation along
with any lingering aversion to the scent. It did not matter anymore.
Kreig had been to see him at the first of the week, carefully talking
around the very point the witch king had come to make. It was
something that couldn’t be put into words. What Gatha had feared
for fifty years—the Phyrexians were coming, and this time there
would be no stopping them.
Standing still and silent, Gatha strained his hearing to catch the
sounds of the battle being fought on the plateau below his
laboratory. No fire crackled in competition. No slaves moved about
doing his bidding, where their footsteps might have drowned out
that distant ringing of metal against metal. There were only he and
two guards who waited like motionless statues outside his main
workspace while he prepared it. The fighting sounded as if it had
moved closer. Gatha could hear the shrill cry of a wounded colos
warbeast echoing up the mountainside, but it was drowned out
immediately by the grating roar of a massive Phyrexian dragon
engine.
It was the sound of death knocking upon the gates, an Argivian
saying which Gatha remembered from long before Keld or Tolaria.
Strange, that deep down he had actually believed death would come
politely, requesting admission rather than kicking down the barriers
and falling upon its victim in a fury of fire and grinding metal.

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>>94850478
Well, Gatha did not intend to quit without a fight. Where he had
been forced to flee Tolaria, betrayed by those he had called
colleagues even when they did not deserve such praise, here he
knew strong allies and the strength of his own powers. Kreig had
never failed him, never failed the Keldon nation, and Gatha knew
that any chance for victory would revolve around them both:
warlord and tutor. Witch king and wizard. Gatha remembered much
of the Tolarian histories, of the battles waged with the dark forces.
He knew many of their weaknesses. He could help turn the tide of
battle, perhaps. In case he could not, the lab required preparation.
Moving around the room, Gatha continued to cover each piece of
equipment with the rough, strong-smelling blankets as he wrapped
them with magical energies drawn from the mountains of Keld. He
pulled the mana from the land, feeling its raw power and knowing
the destructive force such energies could bring about. Warmth
flushed his skin pink, warding him against the room’s severe chill,
as he layered the magic into every device, every table, into each wall
surrounding him. It pulsed at his temples, straining for release, but
he held each strand tied into a simple knot at the center of his mind.
He buried it down deep, and there he held it with an afterthought.
So long as he lived his labs were safe, but at any moment he could
bring them down. He would not allow his work to fall into the hands
of such an enemy. Better that it go to Urza, who had appreciated
Gatha’s efforts for many years. He wondered at what Urza might be
able to accomplish with the culmination of Gatha’s three centuries
of research—great things, certainly.

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>>94850489
Thinking back on his time in Tolaria, Gatha felt for the magic
inherent to the island and drew it for his use. It came in a cool, saltladen breeze. He attached tendrils of the power to the trunk, and
with a simple twist of his mind he transported the entire collection
into a fissure deep within the ground. There it would await Urza, the
only person Gatha knew who could possibly retrieve it and figure
out how to unlock its contents without engaging the protective
wards that would incinerate the research.
The lab dead and warded, the trunk hidden away with only a
tether held in his mental grasp, Gatha picked up his staff from its
resting place by the main door. Made of dark ebony, as the trunk
had been, its headpiece a pair of crescent-shaped iron blades stained
a deep crimson, it was no longer the simple walking staff he had
used to enter Keld. A magical device he had imbued with powers
over his long stay, it would aid him today in defending his home.
Passing through the door, he gathered his guards by glance alone
and then added that final magical tendril, connecting his boon of
knowledge to the knot of magical threads already tied within his
mind. It was readied to search out and whisper a message to Urza
Planeswalker. It would bring Urza here, eventually. What happened
after, in the future, was not Gatha’s concern.
It never was.

Kreig commanded his warhost from the left flank, near the edge
of the plateau where the fighting was the most concentrated. Here
there could be no quarter, no fallback—the opposing forces always
aware of the precipice they could so easily be swept over. Already a
number of Keldon warriors had plummeted to their deaths, dashed
to crimson stains on the sharp rocks below. Kreig had led an assault
which toppled a dragon engine to join them. His greatsword sliced
apart treads while a white scar of lightning cast out from Gatha’s
fingertips slammed into the engine’s enraged head.

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>>94850501
The stench of oil and blood, scorched ground and burnt flesh,
assailed the normally chill mountain air now warm with Phyrexian
fires. Kreig registered the pain of his healing right leg. The witch
king’s armor had been burned away from a gout of a burning
jellylike substance belched from one of the larger black creatures,
that creature now destroyed and left in his wake. Armor-clad
warriors, those stunted growths with their mechanical arms and
legs, he left shattered by the dozens. They annoyed him, so small
and insignificant compared to his expanded boundaries. His was the
personal strength of a thousand men, borrowed piecemeal from the
legion of warriors under his direct control. When he swung his gorestreaked greatsword, it struck with force enough to rip through
armor plating and shatter metal supports. Flesh and bone where he
found it among the dark soldiers, he cleft with ease.
How much more might he have become if he had brought the
entire Keldon warhost under his banner? This was not the only
battle being fought today. It was one of several, in fact, and the
witch king never forgot his responsibilities. He was more than Kreig
—immortal or not, the greatest of the witch kings or not—he was
Keld. Even in the frenzy of battle the witch king never forgot his
priorities. His nation would survive. The Phyrexians were here for
him, testing themselves against the greatest warrior Dominaria had
ever known. He and Gatha, they were the objectives. So long as
Kreig did not put the whole of Keld in between the enemy and
themselves, some—many—would survive.

>>94850362
>Our players are STUPID!
This has been true for 30 years and it's not stopping any time soon.

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>>94850509
The warlord was able to easily recognize the Phyrexians battle
philosophy. They had apparently little use for subterfuge with what
seemed to be inexhaustible resources to draw upon, and they had
their god of pale flesh and black eyes that could place them for
battle or withdraw them as necessary. They wanted to rip out the
strength—what they perceived to be the strength—of his nation.
They would learn that the Keldon strength was inexhaustible as
well. It didn’t matter whether the Phyrexians won today or next
year. They could take all of Dominaria, in fact. One day the
Necropolis would be full, and then nothing would stand before his
nation and him.
A skeletal figure walked the battlefield toward him. Kreig knew of
it immediately, sensing the approaching danger in the waning
lifeforce of his warriors. It appeared only slightly more impressive
than the spindle-limbed warriors in black armor—the only visible
differences being its cleft skull and burning red eyes that sat back
within hollow sockets. It carried a staff which looked to be a thin,
twisted piece of wood, and it wore no more protection than a robe of
tattered cloth bands, or so it seemed.
One Keldon warrior charged the thing, and it moved with blinding
speed to eviscerate the man with one swipe of its thin, taloned
hands. Another met an end with searing bolts from the creature’s
eyes. The one blow Kreig saw the creature take was shrugged aside
as easily as the witch king himself might have done, hardly
scratching through the tattered robes that writhed with their own
life.

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>>94850517
Rage gripped Kreig, watching his warriors so easily cast aside as if
they barely merited a warrior’s death. He kicked an impaled
creature off his sword. The warlord shouldered his way past or
through several skirmishes, trailing the smoke from smoldering
colos horn back from his shoulder vents. A Phyrexian’s clawed hand
took off the bladed antler that guarded part of his helm’s eye slit. He
shrugged it aside, raking his armor’s elbow spikes into the
creature’s midsection and tearing through several hoses acting as
veins for thin, glistening oil.
The other creature finally noticed his advance and paused to meet
him. It screeched out an attack of tormenting sound. Waves of
preternatural sound assailed Kreig with stunning force, as if he had
hit an invisible wall which then toppled back over him. His armor
shook, and small stabs of pain worked through his gut. He shouted
his war cry, cursing his own muscles for their treasonous behavior,
and then he was past the wall and set upon the Phyrexian.
His greatsword rose and fell three times in rapid strikes. The first
two glanced off the bands of metal that rustled and rasped over the
creature like living snakes, but the last connected solidly to the side
of the Phyrexian’s head. A few metal bands fell to the ground,
writhing a moment before falling still. The vicious slash to the
creature’s face caused it to stumble and opened up a large cut in the
taught, glistening-gray skin. Kreig moved to make a disabling blow
but found his sword deflected by a flick of the creature’s hand. A
stiff-armed stabbing motion followed from the Phyrexian, allowing
a pair of talons to pierce his armor and dig into his ribs.

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>>94850524
Kreig backed off immediately, knowing to not press an attack
after being taken unaware, and he watched the cut on the
Phyrexian’s face heal. Strands of fiber spun out from one side of the
wound to the other, pulling the flesh tight again. Small spinning
devices, fused right into the skull it seemed, spun and stitched the
skin back together flawlessly. His own wounds burned painfully. He
noticed a sludgelike black fluid dripping from the creature’s two
talons that had found his skin. Growling defiance, Kreig swung
again. Another lightning flash of motion and the Phyrexian’s
poisoned claws scored again along his right shoulder.
Burning, the substance continued to eat away at him regardless of
how much strength his warriors lent him. Kreig stumbled, going
down on one knee, his swordpoint stabbed into the earth for
balance. He hated the Phyrexian for humbling him in such a
manner. He couldn’t draw a breath, the burning now in his lungs.
Kreig wrenched his helm away, drawing in deeply the steaming,
smoky air.
Chattering a cacophony of squeals and hisses, the creature moved
in to deal a death blow. A crackling, snapping arc of energy scored
the air over Kreig. Gatha’s lightning caught the Phyrexian in the
shoulder, driving it back a step as two more warriors fell on it. One
arm apparently fused into place, the beast clawed the throat out of
one footsoldier and then threw him into his partner, driving them
both over the cliff edge. It then worked at its shoulder, twisting it
back into a full range of motion within seconds.

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>>94850530
With a struggle to control his pain, Kreig levered himself back to
his feet and brought his greatsword back up in challenge. He could
feel his own blood trickling down his side, the wounds failing to
close as that burning sludge worked deeper into his body. The
Phyrexian advanced, striking out with long, skeletal arms that
moved with blazing speed. Kreig countered, giving back a step under
each blow but holding off the deadly embrace. More of his warriors
leapt in to the fray—only to be thrown back dead or dying—and then
the creature advanced again. Kreig knew that the space behind him
was limited. There would be Gatha and then open air as the plateau
fell away to the lower valleys. He would have to act soon.
The Phyrexian never gave him that chance. As if tired of the game,
it simply grabbed his sword on a parrying stroke and wrested it from
his grip. A razored claw shot out, piercing his armor and digging
claws into his midsection. It lifted Kreig from the ground, its hollow
sockets only inches from the witch king’s tortured gaze, as it
pumped more liquid fire into him, then it tossed both Keldon
warlord and sword aside as if broken toys. Kreig slammed into the
ground, and there he lay in wordless agony. So easily discarded, the
greatest witch king ever known rolled over enough to see the face of
his destroyer. He stared into the skull’s lifeless expression.
The Phyrexian turned, no longer concerned with the broken
Keldon, and its ember eyes found Gatha.
Hellfire scents of burning flesh and scorched ground rose to
choke Gatha. Metal clattered against other metal. The grinding of
gears at times threatened to drown out the orders passed among
minor warlords and their witch king masters. A haze hung over the
plateau, smoky and wraithlike, and from that haze the Phyrexians
kept advancing. Warriors went down beneath physical weapons and
blazes of energies, and some simply fell sick as if by sudden disease.

>>94849981
You'll lose a bunch at first, but then your MMR will drop and the matchmaker will place you in a bracket with other people running upgraded starter precons, jank, and 250 card piles. Low MMR ranked is genuinely more fun than the Play Queue where everyone just salt ropes you.

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>>94850543
Kreig fell to the Phyrexian champion, and the shock value itself
drove the Keldon army back several precious yards.
Gatha could not wonder if he hadn’t somehow been responsible.
The more magic he expended, it seemed, the greater the opposition
brought forward by the Phyrexians. His cast of lightning helping to
topple a dragon engine, and then two more of the juggernauts rolled
forward. He’d summoned a giant at one point, which had been
quickly overwhelmed under a surge of black-armored warriors.
Then came the particularly draining cast, drawing upon his entire
store of mana to summon a rock hydra to block the lower pass,
trying to limit the influx of more enemy soldiers.
The Phyrexians countered with their god.
The mage had glimpsed him in between castings while trying to
marshal the energies at his control for another lightning strike. The
image fit Kreig’s description too well—pasty corpselike flesh and
wide-set eyes of steel gray within black. The thin, hard line of his
mouth grimaced under strain. Gatha did not believe the figure to
actually be a god, no more so than he himself was, though the
Keldons had for decades considered him and Kreig both as near-
divine. He sensed the bridge form between worlds, saw briefly the
dull tan landscape overlaid onto Dominaria. Planeswalker! The
word shouted out in his mind from his earlier association with Urza.
It was the closest he could come to naming the powers he saw
demonstrated. From across the bridge stepped a new group of
Phyrexian nightmares, the skeletal figure among them, bypassing
the hydra

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>>94850551
Urza help us, was Gatha’s first thought at witnessing the
crossover. If he could have hoped to shout for the planeswalker’s
attention, right then he would have done so, but he had spent too
much of his stamina already, manipulating heavy magics as well as
maintaining his hold on the wards that protected his labs. Now he
could only try and recover, witnessing the horrible passage of the
new Phyrexian as it slaughtered its way quickly and effortlessly
across the battlefield to put down Kreig. Even a solid strike of
lightning failed to do more than slow it—and draw its attention.
Right then as it looked to him, before its final confrontation with
Kreig, Gatha sensed the hatred it felt. It froze the mage in his place
for a moment—long enough for Kreig to fall—and then the dark
creature was past the dethroned witch king and facing Gatha
himself.
Backed against the plateau’s precipice, his magical strength
waning, Gatha began a sacrificial casting that would expend his own
life in one final attack against the Phyrexian. One of the most
powerful and dangerous spells he’d brought away from Tolaria, he
held it in reserve for just such an occasion. With Kreig vanquished
and the army poised at its breaking point, there was little else he
could accomplish with his life. He could only hope to accomplish
something more by his death.

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>>94849981
Ranked is entirely up to the deck strength algorithm. If you run trash decks, you can still get to mythic playing against other trash decks. Its a skinner box, set up to make you feel good about yourself so you keep playing

Do you honestly think my deck pictured here would take a normal person to mythic in a fair matchmaking filled with meta aggro mice, science-omni and blinky dimirs?
Do you ever want to play a game that ends with a board state like THIS?

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In the stillness of the Meditation Realm, where time itself seemed to hold its breath, Nicol Bolas stood facing Ugin. The air shimmered with latent magic, heavy with the weight of a conversation centuries in the making. Ugin’s ethereal form pulsed with an inner light, his wings folding gently behind him in quiet contemplation. Bolas, ever the picture of dominance and power, now appeared uncharacteristically... uncertain.

"I have watched over eons," Bolas began, his voice a deep tremor that resonated through the void, "seeking dominion, seeking knowledge, seeking… something I could never name." He turned his gaze to the distant, swirling currents of energy around them. "But it was never enough. None of it." His crimson eyes flickered toward Ugin, and for once, they were devoid of their usual cruel calculation. "You were always there, though. Not just an obstacle, not just a brother."

Ugin tilted his head, his expression one of cautious curiosity. "Nicol, I have always cared for you," he said carefully, his voice like a breath of wind through ancient trees. "Despite everything, you are- were, my twin, my family."

Bolas let out a low, rumbling laugh, but there was no mockery in it, only resignation. "No, Ugin. Not like that." He took a step closer, his towering form casting a long shadow. "It’s more than that." His wings curled slightly inward, as if to guard himself from the weight of his next words. "I love you. Not as kin. Not as the one who has haunted my every plan and ambition. I love you... beyond all of it."

Silence stretched between them, heavy and uncertain. Ugin’s eyes widened, his energy flaring in soft waves. "I... I don’t know what to say," he whispered, his voice tinged with something Bolas couldn’t quite place. Hesitation, perhaps? Fear?

"You don’t have to say anything." Bolas turned away, his gaze lost in the endless horizon of the Meditation Realm. "Just know it. That's all I ask."

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>>94850560
Time betrayed him. The creature’s red eyes darkened, becoming
twin orbs of dark power within cavernous sockets. The black mana
swept from it in a mind-rending wave—a banshee wail that drove
the mage quickly to his knees. The spell he had held in readiness
was lost to the chaos, torn from him in a painful struggle. It left him
weak and defenseless. He rose back to his feet on shaky legs, his
mind numb. He stared into the orbs, and they froze him to his spot.
The Phyrexian reached its hands out toward Gatha’s head—razorsharp fingers on hands of metal framework and cable. One finger on
each hand opened up to allow a short length of braided wire to
escape. The ends probing the air in front of his eyes, searching.
Gatha realized then that all his preparations to keep his research
from Phyrexian hands were for naught, and worse, he was about to
give up Urza’s best-kept secrets—Tolaria, the Weatherlight, the
Legacy and the bloodlines. He understood now. The Phyrexian was
here for his mind.
In his entire life, Gatha had always lived by what could be done
now, not tomorrow or the day next. Leaving his knowledge for
Urza’s recovery was in many ways an act of today, though it also
prepared for the morrow when that knowledge might surface again.
Seconds away from betrayal of Dominaria to Phyrexia, Gatha made
the final commitment. Gauging his distance from the plateau’s drop
to a deep valley, Gatha released that buried knot of magical energy
within his mind, collapsing the wards that protected his labs and
held the call for Urza in place. Far up the slope from the plateau, fire
blossomed as the destructive force of the mountain’s stored mana
welled up in a cataclysm of energy and raw power meant to destroy
his labs completely. The roar of the explosion was matched with a
magical shock wave which rode the recoil of such a heavy mana
draw. The creature glanced away for a second.
That was all the time Gatha required.

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>>94850568
Kreig had watched the Phyrexian advance on Gatha, his jaw
clenched against the pain and refusing to give it justice through
voice. His friend and advisor stood transfixed like a bird caught in
the mesmerizing stare of a rock cobra. Kreig rolled to his stomach,
ignoring the fire that burned within as he got his hands under him.
His helm laying off to the side, Kreig’s face pressed into the ground.
It smelled of fresh dirt—no oil or blood to taint the ground of Keld
here, no scorched earth, not yet.
The sweat of exertion runneling from his brow, Kreig levered
himself back to hands and knees. He still maintained his hold on
the warhost, still felt their combined strength and rage coursing
through his veins as it warred with the foreign substance invading
his body. He focused on the back of the creature that had laid him
low. He saw the sky over the invader’s shoulder deepening into
purple as his bloodlust mixed with the normal blue. He rocked back
to his feet as Gatha shrank to his knees—the two trading places. He
stumbled for his greatsword, drawing it back from the dust where
the Phyrexian had cast it. The Keldon nation was not finished.
Neither was he.
The powers of a witch king were never without their limitations,
even in him. He drew from his warrior nation that which he needed
to make himself stronger and gifted back to them, in his exploits
and energy, a lust for life and battle which would carry them
through and home again with the spoils of war. Only here the spoils
were Keld itself. He could feel the dark matter killing him. It
certainly would have killed any mortal man already. Kreig had never
known defeat before, but if it must happen, it would happen on his
own terms.

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>>94850583
The explosion of Gatha’s labs did not distract the witch king’s
focus. He saw Gatha pitch himself backward, rolling for the cliff
edge. The Phyrexian recovered quickly but not soon enough. Gatha
was lost in the vast space that fell away from the plateau. Cheering
his friend, defying death at the hands of Phyrexia, the witch king
leapt forward sword reversed and poised overhead like a scorpion’s
stinger, the battle cry on his lips his own.
“Kreig!”
The skeletal creature spun quickly, arms flashing in on the attack.
Kreig drove forward into the deadly embrace. Talons ripped through
armor like a sword through old leather, digging deeply into each
side. Pain blossomed—an agony unlike any he had ever known or
imagined. Kreig retained hold of his weapon with a determination
honed over one hundred fifty years of battle, and he felt his steel
bite at the joint where the creature’s thin neck met with armored
bands covering its shoulder. Screaming his war cry, Kreig drove the
blade down with his every ounce of strength and kicked forward.
The blade worked in and plunged deep, driven by the strength of
every warrior who still survived and the raging will of one mortal
who would never surrender easily to death. The Phyrexian
screeched in pain and fury and then caught him fast, trying to hold
Kreig in a final embrace. No physical barriers held a Keldon warlord,
not even after death. Kreig drove forward, bloody spittle flying from
his lips as he screamed his own name. His vision swam, and he
stood at the entrance to his crypt facing out into the world, the drop
before him leading down from the Necropolis. With his final call to
battle, rousing those who woke behind him, Kreig leapt out into the
space.
As he fell, he knew that somewhere, down below, Gatha waited
for him again.

Hope those who read liked it and apologies to those who didn't and had it fill the thread.

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>>94850567
Ugin remained still for a long moment, the hum of his energy flickering uncertainly. The words Nicol had spoken echoed in his mind, reverberating through the very essence of his being. Love. A concept he had long considered abstract, distant. But now, standing before his twin, no, before Nicol, he felt something stir within him. Something ancient, something inevitable.
"I... I have always felt something," Ugin finally said, his voice quieter than before, but no less steady. "I never understood it. Or perhaps... I never allowed myself to." His translucent wings trembled slightly as he stepped closer, his gaze meeting Nicol's with a newfound clarity. "I thought my purpose was balance, wisdom... to stand apart from emotion, to observe rather than experience."
Bolas turned his head slightly, his expression unreadable, but the flicker of hope in his eyes was unmistakable. "And now?" he asked, his voice a whisper against the vast expanse of the realm.
Ugin exhaled slowly, his energy swirling around them in gentle waves. "Now I understand," he admitted, reaching out with a hesitant claw to touch Nicol’s chest. "I feel it too, Nicol. I have for so long... I just never named it." His touch lingered, tracing the contours of the powerful being before him, and for the first time, he allowed himself to truly see his twin, not as a rival, not as an opposing force, but as something far more profound.
Bolas' breath hitched, his golden eyes searching Ugin’s for any sign of doubt, but there was none. Only the quiet certainty of acceptance. "Then say it," he urged, his voice hushed but insistent.
Ugin's expression softened, the luminescent lines of his form pulsing in harmony with Nicol’s own presence. "I love you," he murmured, the words feeling foreign yet right, like the unlocking of a long-forgotten truth. "Not as balance to your chaos. Not as a brother meant to oppose you. I love you... as you are."

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>>94850598
A deep, rumbling sound escaped Bolas, half growl, half sigh, as he closed the distance between them, his forehead resting against Ugin’s. For the first time in their endless existence, they allowed themselves this moment, free from the weight of the past. Their lips met, tentative at first, but soon deepened, centuries of tension unraveling into something new, something undeniable.
The Meditation Realm shimmered around them, responding to their unity with a soft, rhythmic pulse. When they finally pulled apart, Bolas let out a low chuckle, the edge of his maw curling into something dangerously close to a smile. "So... what now, my ethereal brother?"
Ugin’s eyes burned with an inner fire, and this time, there was no hesitation. "Now," he said, pressing his forehead against Nicol’s once more, his voice rich with newfound certainty, "we stop fighting what we've always known. We mate."
With a shared breath, they surrendered to the moment, entwining their destinies in a way neither had ever imagined possible.

>>94850592
Loved it. I never heard the tales of old Keld and this felt like true Magic the Gathering. I miss this kind of true sword and sorcery storytelling that Magic should be. Someday I want to sit down and read the whole Dominaria stories about the Grand Coliseum, the Mirari and Kamahl and Jeska, Ixidor and Akroma, Braids and Chainer, Commander Eesha and Kirtar and Aboshan, or Rorix Bladewing and Silvos and Jareth and the Cabal Patriarch.

>>94850667
Thanks, I have noticed, the big disconnect between new and old magic stories is a willingness to not only get violent but to express that violence with import.
Even up until the 2000s with novels like the Lorwyn books, a fight that devolves into a one on one bareknuckle brawl is given detail and a graphic sense of gravitas as a life or death struggle should.
If you don't have it already I can share the Mega link to an archive of almost all the MTG books.
>>94850605
Nice taking the piss.
In retrospect it was kinda a dick move to post all that but I was so exited in the moment to share a piece of lore I like that I thought 12 (turns out went up to 17 because I didn't want to break paragraphs) posts was fine since its on topic.

Still I do hope that more people can read and hopefully understand why its so frustrating to see MTG in the state it currently is in, when seeing what it once had.

>>94850743
I honestly didn't mind that much I just wanted to have a giggle.

>>94850750
No worries man

>>94850743
Sure I’d appreciate a link to the Odyssey-Onslaught stories.

>>94850823
Here you go
aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZvbGRlci9jbGdqVlNpUyNSUG5kd3hHQ2xDUl9kVkRXLTJXNHhR
Look up Base 64
The Odyssey books and the first Onslaught book are in the collection.
Apparently the last two Onslaught books are so bad nobody ever bothered to upload them online, so I need to buy them myself and create manual scans on the road to completion. its only like 25$ for both books and shipping so ill likely get around to it next month so keep a hold of the link for updates.

>>94846525
Why is Garruk commanding some funny looking ooze people now?

>>94850906
We don't know yet

>>94850362
>give em the Hawk Tuah, Ghostfire on that thang

>>94850905
Thank you story-anon. I might just buy them off Amazon if I can find them

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Is Chandra not a planeswalker any more?!?

>>94851039
She still is buy\t her GF Nissa isn't anymore.

>>94849981
>>94850025
>>94850547
>>94850562
I actually went 7-3 my first 10 matches. Maybe the algorithm had me figured out from the start but I think I did pretty well.

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>>94841044
>formula 1 and other racing tournaments
I see it as WHACKY RACES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcnsRrXzBC0