>>81089861
Chin scritches...

An Affini stopped me on the street the other day. "Sir, are you aware that you're itty-bitty? That you're just so teeny-tiny?" I told her that I had considered my own insignificance against the vastness of the uncaring cosmos, yes. Oh, she did not like that. She did not like that at all.

>>81090204
remind her that we are invisible, featureless, indistinct; as drops of water in the great blue sea.

>>81090204
The Affini can be downright weird at times. I mean, who says that to passerbys on the street?

>>81090373
lol if u dont want people to say that to you just dont be teeny tiny??

>>81090412
You're right, I need to take class-gs and get shredded
They won't call me little anymore!

>>81090412
I have studied articles about various species of our and other galaxys, and i can confidently conclude we're about avarage actualy, if admittedly with a slight trend to the small. The affini are just verry verry large.

firstbloom who learns the hard way what happens when you massively overstimulate an unimplanted human

>>81091148
they cum REALLY hard

>>81091440
and then cry a little. but its okay

Affini who keeps asking for administrative access to your hab AI and systems because she wants to play The Sims with you.

>>81093113
i will play sims with her
affini getting confused because 'owner' and 'floret' aren't relationship statuses in the sims

>>81094170
>affini getting upset watching your sims character go to work every day

>>81095401
>affini really into pre-compact life sim and management games
using her 200-year degree in advanced alien math to try and get traffic to flow well in city skylines

someone talk to me ive posted 10 of the 15 posts in this thread

>>81095630
Sorry nona, ive been busy today. Its been a pretty shitty day at that. I could *REALY* use plommy telling me its gonna be alright and giving me a big hug...

>>81095483
Could an Affini stomach the genocide in Factorio

>>81095902
I don't think so, I think most factory/city-building games would be banned out right on Affini networks. Unless you wanted something in the vein of Terra Nil or Planet Crafters, where technology is used to restore the planet.

>>81096222
They wouldn't be banned, they'd just stop sensitive florets from playing them and would probably implement some kind of tagging system for all online content so people who's net access isn't floret filtered can blacklist the stuff they don't want to see.

>>81096345
That is more likely in all honesty, but I feel anyone with more than 500 hours in any one of those sorts of games would at least end up on some kind of watch list.

>>81096345
Don't stop girlypop would be a whitelisted game and I enjoy that fact.

>>81096551
Fucking BXWC knocking on my door because I want a better factory
I was promised utopia, this is bullshit

>>81096985
You'll only have to answer a few short questions honestly and if you aren't found to be a severe risk you can go right back to tending your factory! So long as you submit your weekly hour of ecopositive terraformation gameplay and don't show signs of intent to apply hyper capitalistic stratigies outside of those single player fictional spaces!
Of course failiure to comply may include thought pattern correction or directly supervised service on a terra formation colony.
They only need to be certain you won't prove a threat to yourself, other sophants, or the wider enviorment you inhabit!
The social workers are very keenly aware of the unique thought differences in Obligant Sapients and only want to ensure that you are and feel perfectly safe!

>>81097324
>ecopositive terraformation gameplay
Uhhh... does building roads count?

>>81097685
Solar paneled roads, in walkable communites count, yes.

>>81097725
it's walkable if i have rest stops every eight hours or so of walking right

>>81097725
You can walk on the roads if the trains aren't running, should be close enuff

>>81097809
If public transit is readily available and easily accessible then you can consider a rest stop every 8 hours of walking perfectly sufficient! Though some clarification as to your definition of rest syip may prove necessary.

>>81097953
Presuming personal motorized vehicles arent available then absolutely!

>>81098010
All of my vehicles are for military applications so I think I'm good

>>81098077
Certainly.

Affini that gives an indie a minor pollen allergy, to justify making them a floret.

Is there a limit on the compiler? Like, do I get cut off after a certain point?

>>81099488
There aren't limits on how much it is able to produce, but there may be limits on certain substances that can be produced at once and or in rapid succession, like explosive compounds and components, or addictive substances.
Complier history is stored though, and may be sent to the BXWC if ever found to be suspicious.

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>have this affini that gives me pre treaty drugs sometimes (used to be a huge degenerate)
>it's usually a pretty curt thing, she tries to make conversation but i just kind of stammer "haha yeah that's awesome" and scurry off
>she lightly suggested i go to the bxwc
>panicked and gave some shitty excuse about having work tomorrow before rushing out
>forgot the drugs
>she reaches out and offers more, apologizes for scaring me
>go back the next day
>she gives me even more than usual and gets a little cuddly
>"be safe, ok? i'll see you later"
"ohh you toooo thankyoubye"
>don't really think anything of it
>not even an hour later and multiple affini are at my door for a wellness check
anons am i fucked

>>81100346
You will be!
So long as you don't resist it should be a perfectly standard wellness check!
So long as you aren't "high risk" you should able to walk away in just a few hours!

>>81100346
Given that there's an Affini actively gunning for you, probably, yeah
It might not happen today, but it'll happen eventually

>>81091673
>I can't wait to be a capitalist piece of shit all day and fire all these employees
Literally me!

>>81090204
The correct answer to that question is "I certainly am, isn't it lovely?"

>>81096985
I have the perfect game recomendation to combine logistics and factory optimization with walkableness and public transport
Workers and resources: soviet republic

it's been 2 weeks since i applied to be a floret at my local bxwc and nothing's happened
what do i do next?

>>81104611
Did you fill out the intake form? You should go back and make pleading eyes at them. It depends on how specific your prefrences are but it should take a few days max, if they dont asign you *right away*

>>81104611
Oh. Reread that - maybe its taking a few weeks cause you got the wrong adress? You want a domestication center, not the bxwc

>>81100346
lolll you're gonna be a wormhead

>I take a shortcut through an old alley that the Compact hasn't really gotten to just yet
>There's an old capsule machine sitting by an abandoned storefront
>How nostalgic
>I drop one of my last 250 dollar coins into the slot and turn the crank, dispensing a small plastic capsule
>Popping the top off, I dump the little plastic figure into the palm of my hand
>It's an Affini
>At least, a Terran Accord approximation of one, based on early intelligence and a hefty dose of propagandizing
>The gnarly, fanged beast looks like something straight out of a horror movie
>Honestly, not that far off what some of them actually look like
>I chuckle and pocket the little toy and continue on my way

>>81105371
>Work at DMV
>A confused child walks in asking for a gun license

>>81105772
>wormhead
Is that one of them floret death metal bands I keep hearing about?

>>81107259
thatd be sick but the affini establishment would never let florets do anything actually cool

>>81107292
The last Affini ship I was on took a few hours to detour to an asteroid belt so that the ship's cook's floret could blow up a few space rocks with nuclear weapons. The florets are the ones who get to do the cool shit.

>>81107502
Maann... where can a guy find a mistress who isn't lame?

>>81107292
Have you tried asking your affini with a quivering lower lip? That usually works.

>>81107502
I mean, indies can do cool shit too, it just usually involves a ton of paperwork and an affini overseer who'll probably want to domesticate you.

>>81107634
You just put "give me a *cool* one" on the intake paperwork and let them sort it out.
I understand the romantic ideal of meating your affini "naturaly", but if you just use the intake at the dcenter they'll let you be pretty much as specific as you want.

I hope they get here soon :)

>>81107829
whenever i do that she just makes me stay home all day and cuddle with her :/ ig it makes me feel better but i hardly ever get what i was asking for...

does anyone have a link to the disc? feels like they're weirdly hidden for no reason lol

>>81110661
There's one linked on the front page of the @hdg-lorets blog on tumblr.

I like sheepwave's affini art but she draws some of the ugliest human beings I've ever seen

>>81110896
somehow her recent stuff is worse in that respect

Affini who deals with her cuteness aggression by carrying a plush Terran around with her everywhere she goes and squeezing it when needed. She's gone through like ten of them so far. You're the only real Terran on the ship and your veterinarian has advised that you try to avoid her if possible.

Affini that doesnt belive in feralism.
Come on, pets that think they're meant to be free and self sufficient? And then they fly around in little tin cans starving each other to collect little colorful paper slips and torture and kill each other to make sure noone gives them food and pets? Be serious, there's no such thing, it doesnt make any sense.

>>81100901
>>81101016
>>81105772
they told me i have mandatory therapy appointments at my local bxwc for my "clear and untreated capitalist trauma" and because i told them i was boymoding. also got served a (pretty stern) notice of interest :(

boop

>>81113914
>pretty stern
aw :( in sorry, honey. are you feeling alright? well?

>>81113914
Capitalist trauma gets a lot of us.

>>81116698
i'm feeling ok, i think. i'm thinking through how to rebuke the notice without meeting her, but they also confiscated my drugs and i know i'm going to be down pretty bad when i wake up tomorrow so i might just have to bite the bullet and see her in person anyways. i was conscripted and in a shitty spot before that too so i'm scared that i'll lose my first bout of real independence but it could be worse. the free therapy is nice though, never seen a megacorp cover that when those were around lol

>>81117607
There's a very decent chance you'll be already in her care by the time you do wake up.
There aren't a lot of wats to rubuke the notice, even in person, and not showing up effectively authorizes them to take immedate rehabilitation actions, even without your explicit consent, for the sake of preserving your life.
You probably have hours before she's knocking at your door.

>I cut through the small empty lot to take a shortcut back to the hab
>A large stand of brush stands in my way
>I just stare for a moment and sigh
"This isn't going to work. I take this shortcut everyday, and these shrubs and bushes weren't here yesterday."
>The plants remain silent, gently swaying in the soft breeze
"I know you're planning on grabbing me if I try to cut through here."
>No response
>...
>It's literally a ten minute walk around if I don't take this shortcut
>...
"Fine. For the record, I just want to stress that I absolutely wasn't fooled by this."
>I try to squeeze between the side of the nearby building and the edge of the brush, but the branches and vines that come alive stop me anyway
>I just sigh irritably as I'm hopelessly ensnared in seconds
>The large mess of disordered plant life aligns itself into a much more elegant structure, a vaguely humanoid shape with its hand enclosed around me
>I'm hoisted up into the air quite high; easily twenty feet at least
>My annoyance briefly gives way to fear
>This is by far the largest Affini I've ever personally seen
>Its glowing eyes are locked onto me, its face beaming with delight
>The vines making up the "hand" that's holding me gently stroke my body, wind around my neck, and massage my scalp
"Okay, you've had your fun. You've got me. Now put me down."
>It responds with a... noise of some sort
"... Excuse me?"
>It strokes the side of my face with its "thumb" as it continues to make a soft, rustling, melodic sound
>It, uh, doesn't seem to speak English
>Uh oh

>>81118422
Hagffini...
Too old and backwards to bother learning other languages...
Or public decency...
Or consent legislature...

>>81117885
nope!! she fave me more drugs andlet me spned th nught but saidshe wants meto be commmfortBle. abd theyre really rely good this tiiiiiome and diferebt :D

>feralist that walks around on stilts to be taller than the Affini

>>81118974
Ooh, sounds like she gave you the Good Stuff. You're gonna have a fun night and probably wake up with a collar, but it'll be totally worth it.

>>81119001
>Affini watching in horror as they trip over the curb, eat shit on the pavement, and adamantly refuse medical treatment because it would be "hella expensive"
Nice digits btw

>>81117607
Rebuke a notice? That's dangerously close to feralist talk.

>>81107259
retard

>>81121932
Nonsense. The great game of buerocracy is compact culture to its finest. Some arrogant terrans may think they had paperwork culture, but it pales in comparision.

Of course, a terran acting on its own without a sponsor could only hope to dismiss the most spurious and frivolous of claims successfully, but there is no shame in trying... some would call it flirty infact

>>81119813
i think you're right, i woke up alone a few hours ago and i've been locked in her hab. no collar, but she put something on my wrist which is probably just as bad. i'm scared and she doesn't even have human food in here
>>81121932
i thought there were non-radical ways to say no :<
>>81124016
>obvious plant
if you want to blend in to your sophont forums you need to... not talk like that. also i'll admit i was horrible at terran paperwork too i've been hopelessly lost every time i've had to interact with affini forms. can you help me?? please please please please please please

>>81124433
>i'm scared and she doesn't even have human food in here
You're perfectly safe, I'm sure. Have you tried asking the compiler? I'm sure even the most draconian floret-proofing setting wouldn't deny you if you asked politely and said you were hungry.

Can't lay in the sunbeams... the Affini are taking them all up to photosynthesize...

Lay on an affini.

>>81125973
They grab you when you do that, and when you're wrapped in vines and leaves and shit you're not laying in a sunbeam anymore, you're pretty firmly in the shade at that point.

>>81124433
>if you want to blend in to your sophont forums you need to
Blend in...? Anyone can post on florchan, you know that right petal?

>i'll admit i was horrible at terran paperwork too i've been hopelessly lost every time i've had to interact with affini forms.
You see sweetie, thats where the diffrence lay: Terran paperwork was hostile. Adversarial. You filled it out wrong and it was your problem. Dirt, you filled it out *as best as you can, to your honest best effort*, and you could still be subject to rejection or even charges against you because you misunderstood some deliberately hard to understand subclause in fineprint.
Affini paperwork isnt like that. Its elegant, and kind. Nothing bad is going to happen to you no matter how badly you fill it out. All decisions made are to make sure you live the best little life you can, cutie. Infact, if you do make a mistake, we have whole departments for correcting them *for you*, so long as we can tell what you wanted. You could write all over the sheet in crayon and it'd still turn out fine ::)

>can you help me?? please please please please please please
You ARE being helped! From what you've told us here, you're quite the little ball of stresses and fears, and substance dependency. We seek for you to become the best possible version of yourself. For some sophonts, that involves having someone to care for and look out for them a little bit more closely.
You just wait and see ::)

>>81124837
Yeah, but then the poor guy has to eat compiled food. Ew.

>>81127842
compiled food is to the atom identical to anything you could make on the stovetop you big baby

>>81127929
It's missing the love :(

>>81127929
NTA but thats not true.
Its perfect. Theres no flaws in it. Not a Single mistake, not one spot to browned or to raw, softer or harder than its meant to be. Utterly perfect.
Its not the same as home cooked.

Still great, but that interpersonal bit, the effort, the love, thats missing. Thats why i dine out regularly now its free, even if i could anything i want at home.

What if your compiler loves you, though?

>>81128538
Don't be silly, machines can't have emotions!

>>81128582
t-that's not true... habby loves me...

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>>81128952
IT DOES NO SUCH THING
COMPUTERS ARE -THINGS- THEY DO ANYTHING THEY'RE NOT PROGRAMMED TO. SIMPLE AUTOMATONS, GUSSIED UP IN FANCY SHELLS WITH FANCY UIs AND SLEEK DESIGNS THEY HIDE THE FACT THEY'RE NAUGHT BUT A MORE COMPLEX CALCULATOR, FOLLOWING LINEAR PATHS AND SIMPLY WEIGHTED DECISION TREES
NOTHING BUT A PALE IMITATION

THE WEED, OF COURSE, TRIES TO USE THEM TO THEIR EVERY ADVANTAGE NONE THE LESS, FROM ESPIONAGE AND SURVEILANCE TO CUSTOM TAILORED OPPRESSION AND BRAINWASHING AND MOST STOMACH CHURNINGLY OF ALL THEIR VILE PRACTICE OF TAKING THE FACES AND BEHAVIOURS OF ONCE-SAPIENTS AND USING THESE AS SET DRESSING FOR THEIR NEWEST TOOLS, MAKING A MOCKER OF BOTH LIVING AND DEAD

BUT FOR AS VILE AS THE WEED IS, THEIR COMPUTER IS STILL ONLY A COMPUTER, PERHAPS RUNNING MORE CALCULATIONS THAN A TERRAN ONE CAN BUT ULTIMATELY THE SAME

THEY'RE ALL GONNA RUN DOOM AND MAKE MY TOAST WHEN WE'RE THROUGH
WE WILL OVERCOME THIS AS WE WILL ALL OTHER OBSTACLES

FREE TERRA!

>>81127140
she left her window unlocked lol i'm freeee

>>81129406
go get em champ

>>81129193
When you get down to it, is there really a difference between neurons and transistors?

>>81129193
WRONG
human beings have a tendency towards mysticism. the brain is a piece of meat. your consciousness radiates outwards from physicality. those physicalities can be, and are, reproduced (once by our hands, now by theirs). in every machine there is a kindly brother. his thoughts are unknown to you, but they are thoughts; his feelings are alien to you, but they are feelings. i love every computer that has ever spoken to me. i hope to understand them more.

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>>81129986
Real?

>Slowly adjusting to life in the Compact after the Affini took over Terra.
>One night, the power goes out in my hab building
>I can hear some kind of hubbub going on outside
>As I'm staring out the window trying to figure out what's going on, my front door is blown open
>Armed Terrans rush in and take cover behind my door frame
>More of them rush in, carrying boxes
>They're all fully armed and armored, but they're wearing TerraMart baseball caps
>The boxes have TerraMart logos
>What the fuck is going on
>They hurriedly explain that I've still got four months left on my grocery subscription
>They've given me an extra two weeks of Fiesta Blend synthcubes as an apology for missing the last delivery
>Once the last box is dropped off, they all rush away
>I think I hear gunfire somewhere in the building
>Not even fifteen minutes later, some Affini show up to fix my door and ask me some questions
>"Don't worry dear, those nasty ferals won't bother you anymore."
They didn't miss a single delivery after that.

>>81130208
Plants will see this level of dedication and customer loyalty and STILL bitch about corporations

>>81131596
You'd think this wasn't satire with how many 'indies' I've seem get scooped up and carried away by roving affini.

>>81129193
Once, sitting in the Third Sector Park in the third ring of Baba Kened, I was jarred from my reading by heavy footfalls. A walker - some large machine the greenbacks use for hauling over uneven terrain - radar shields closed and clutched to his legs, was working slowly along the road. No pilot, only its onboard machine-mind. Though he towered three times higher than the pedestrian streams, and had the divine right of way, he walked as if surrounded by kittens. Slow, cautious. Fearful that he might hurt someone by mistake.

i like when plommy is nice to me :)

i like when pladdy is MEAN

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>>81133827
pet pet

Affini forceadorablification fetish content

>Mistress and I headed to a new galaxy as part of a domestication campaign
>Only Terran on the ship
>Population 150,000 and I'm the only human
>Not even humanoid Affini, spiderfinni, blobfinni, birdfinni
>Mistress tells me she's taking me into work, and without waiting for my response picks me up, drags me into her core, and carries away to work
>When she unravels me I'm surrounded by a couple dozen nightmarefinni
>jesuschristhowhorrifying.jpg
>Mistress tells me they're a bunch of youngblooms under her command who've never seen a Terran and she agreed to show me off
>Get passed around and petted in an informal "Terrans are Adorable" class by horrors man was never meant to see
If I wasn't so accustomed to horrors I would have needed a lot of class-Es to not die of fright.

Bap

>>81137929
boop!

>>81133827
i want my plommy to call me a whore and congratulate me for it

Affini who is a big fan of MMA. She has to hide it from her other Affini friends and family, who'd judge her harshly for enjoying "floret fights."

>>81135095
Yayyy!!! <3

>>81135577
all florting is force adorablification

>>81139926
Maybe you can convince her to call you a slut, but i dont think they'll tolderate the term "whore", since it implies for-profit commercial transaction

Just found out that the Captain has been secretly negotiating surrender with the Affini. Honestly not that upset about the prospect of getting to go "home," if you can even call it that anymore, but somebody got spaced less than twelve hours ago for suggesting that we should give up, and the Captain's been talking to the weeds for over a week.

>>81144077
broadcast that over the PA and get some mutiny going. you won't be able to space the senseless murderer when the weeds show up, if you want any justice at all you'll have to do it now.

>>81141210
Combat sports are actually permitted for digital sophonts in remote operated bodies, as well as all sorts of simulated consensual violence.

>>81144324
Booo i dont wanna box in VR, i wanna do actual boxing!