sophont that's very very frightened of the huge strong aliens that are suddenly everywhere around their home station. they read on the station net that apparently they've been kidnapping people who stay holed up too long from their homes. they haven't left their room for nearly a week. they're making the most timid and unobtrusive trip to the food depot that they can manage.

>Affini offers you a voluntary domestic contract
>It's a single page, not even double sided
>Pretty much cedes 100 percent of all control over all aspects of your life to her
>Includes an extremely strict DNEEF clause
>In exchange, she'll name you Self-Sufficient Independent, Third Floret

Terran whose best friend was recently little-sprouted and domesticated. They're still trying to make it work.

>>82886304
Do Not Eat Extra Food?? Is she calling me fat??

>>82886248
They should probably be a little more cautious about what they read on the net, a lot of those articles can be very misleading.
They go for any individual that doesn't seem evidently self sufficent and provide numerous redundant means of preemptive contact before finally deciding on forcible questioning.

Tgis sophont sadly will not make it very far past their mailbox for these reasons.
But they will be going somewhere much comfier soon!

plommy mommy that explicitly states the sexual nature of our daily appointed health check cuddle seshs...

How puritanical about language are the Affini? Like I've heard that you can't speak like a sailor anymore, but that seems backwards since I can talk about weird sex all damn day

>>82887089
I'd presume its variable between individuals, but they are likely aware that humans utilize swearing a pain response, so its likely that swearing often would make an Affini concerned for your physical health and wellbeing.

>>82887122
Surely that'd be more of an inflection thing, then. Like there can't be gangs of Affini roaming around and swooping up Bostonians for talking normally

>>82887512
It is true that the near entire psychological aspect is tied to the delivery of the word, but I think the Affini would more recognize it in normalized speech as a sort of neutralized maladaption to some unacknowledged source of persisting pain.
Like the dull agony of living in Boston.
In the observation of an incident at that scale I think it would be less the en masse adoption of Bostonians, but the strive towards eliminating whatever threat or source of pain makes Bostonians do that. Which I incidentally think is funnier.

>>82887789
I like the implication that hundreds of years in the future, after colonizing planets. Humanity still suffers the sting of living in Boston. Does Boston even exist anymore? It does not matter. It is a scar on our bloodline. Carved into the genome.

awaawaa hi again hdgg I havent posted in a few threads now! I've been meaning to work on part 4 of story but haven't had the motivation to, I hope things have been good! I'm gonna try to get back to work on it.. I trawled through last thread, the discord posting is gross, glad I've never bothered to join it. I get the general resentment of men but saying misandry isn't real is absurd--especially leading with that when they had two slam dunks they couldve used first lol

>>82887089
I've heard there's languages where swears are context dependent, so all swears are also normal words that can be used regularly without any sort of extra meaning.

>>82887512
If your dialect has swearing as relatively common and normal (you wouldn't scold children for saying it), would they still consider it swearing and stop you from saying it? How would they tell the difference?

new yorker floret who used to whack dudes off for the mob

>>82890551
used to WHAT

>>82890605
he started whacking off dudes for money but he enjoyed it so much he started doing it for free. one time he whacked off this dude in public in front of his family and made a huge mess all over the place. when the cops caught him he tried to whack himself off but they saw him reaching in his pants and whacked him off themselves. really sick guy

how do the affini feel about chasers

>>82890922
they ARE chasers

>>82891031
what about bottom chasers though?

apartment buildings in the compact must be absofuckinglutely ENORMOUS considering the swimming pool sized bathtubs and 20ft+ ceilings in at least a third of all habs

>>82889062
I hope there's an Affini scientist working day in and day out to get to the root of this issue despite having had it explained to them multiple times by different profesionals and some day they do just genuinely find a cure for it.

>>82891563
It is very well established that Mega Structures are not an issue for the Affini, though I always felt they wouldn't bother building more than a story up on any given surface, because there absolutely is real estate available else where.

>>82891825
Sounds a hell of a lot like suburbia, anon...

>>82892058
affini soccer mistress who drives her florets around in a comically oversized SUV

SIGNS YOU MAY BE A FLORET:
- You run slower than I do.
- I know where you live.
- You look cute when you sleep <3

>>82892058
Suburbia isn't so bad when you can just print all of your actual necessities.
And when districting doesn't matter because trillion dollar industries can't profit off of every aspect of modern life.

>>82892329
Yeah, I'm filing a complaint with the BXWC.

>>82891825
What if I like being really high up, though?

>>82892834
You can live in space, or on a planet with cloud cities or a really big tree, or on a space elevator, or on top of a mountain, or on a canyon, or in an air ship, or just ask for uppies.

I keep having non-HDG related dreams involving vine tendrils

>>82893030
Living in an air ship sounds really nice. I can visit people when I'm in the mood, or be far away if I'd rather be alone...

>>82893090
Be careful living in a high altitude environment. Birdflorts gather in those places and they make for very weird neighbors.

>>82893757
They sing which is very pretty, but its almost entirely about how bad they wanna fuck each other, which isn't for everyone.

Affini scientists working on genetically engineering Goombas from the Mario franchise for their white florets.

>>82893832
wgat

>>82893832
Evilfinni infringe on Nintendo's intellectual property...

>>82893929
floret who gets really really upset when their 'finni tries to dress them in pajamas with their favorite video game character on them because 'it's not licensed merchandise' and 'you're infringing copyright'

Tall, motherly floret whose indulgent affini spoils her whatever she wants, and what she wants right now is for you to be her little cuddle-buddy

>>82894065
Feeling like I got away with something since she doesn't know I'd have happily done that anyway.

>>82894429
Aww... Don't be *too* happy about it, love, or she might decide to keep you <3

>>82894065
tall motherly floret who comforts the feral rescues....

Ghost floret. Terran who died in a fire thirty-seven years ago who gets florted when the Affini arrive.

>>82895203
This is just my fan fiction except she's indie for now

>>82895567
Necromancerfinni...

taking the class-Ns that get rid of my refractory period so I can more effectively get reduced to a whimpering mess by my owner's vines

>>82895854
Like your owner wouldnt take care of that for you, cutie? Come now, a little bit of trust in our institutions ::)

Brat floret who pesters their owner for fun "punishments" so much that their owner loses their patience and uses the implant to give them an epileptic seizure

>>82895979
i-i was thinking as part of my regular meds... it's really important to my well-being...

>>82895983
Th...they at least get to cum right?
...right?

>>82896037
Nonny, once you've had the seizuregasm you won't wanna go back

>>82896022
Those same regular meds that your implant injects straight into your bloodstream? Of course they're important to your well being, you'll get them. But you do not have to worry your cute little head about, okay? Your owner will take care of all that.

>>82896114
ah sorry you're right, it's not like I don't trust them but I'm still getting used to being less independent in certain areas. I've spent too many years being in charge of going to doctors and pharmacies and taking my meds on time... it's hard to let go.

The happiest part of my day is watching videos of huskies and other difficult high energy dogs and thinking “me as a floret”

>>82896736
no offense intended, but what is it with you and dogs man? Seems like a fixation

>>82896830
You didn’t intend offense but I look it that way so now I’m going to curl up and cry and never post about seeing myself in dogs ever again.
Actually it’s because dogs don’t contribute anything to a relationship besides being cute and people inexplicably love them anyway so that’s the lens I see my affini loving me through. She would obviously love me in a more complex way than how a person loves their pet but I also would want a pretty different affini than most and I think of her as being the kind of person who really authentically likes an especially difficult breed of dog. She wouldn’t resent me for being strange or needing different care. She would love me and make sure I’m happy. Okay post over now I’m crying.

>>82896895
>She wouldn’t resent me for being strange or needing different care.
No affini worth their core would sweetie.

the dog-like pet thing is fairly common place yea? Like with training and obedience, and walking at their heel ect. That like pet play 101 so its obviously what alot of HDG gets into

I just thought it um seemed like its specifically *actualy* dogs for you, as in ferals, not just a collar and fetch commands.

>>82896971
No it’s definitely anthropomorphic dogs. I would be standing on two legs eating with silverware and speaking multiple languages. Ironically I wouldn’t want the more restrictive aspects of pet play and to anyone who doesn’t know me well I would be a very confusing floret especially to affini. But my affini would know me and love me and understand me. For me it’s fully one hundred percent furry style cartoon anthropomorphic canines and felines and birds and other creatures. With a small exception made for cartoon ponies.

>>82896971
more to that though, i feel like
>"don’t contribute anything to a relationship besides being cute and people inexplicably love them anyway"
hits more for cats, no?
like, cats are just little shits that do fuck all and we love em anyways just for being cute.
While for dogs, we do infact have expectations of them. A dog has to be obedient and well behaved, else they're a nuisence.

>>82897034
ah so you're just a furry then basicaly
got it, seems i had the wrong impression then
never got into that too much myself besides >cartoon horses
might have an extended phase with those... i still check out some fics ocasionaly

anyways so you like dogpeople, you *dont* want to be trained like a dog then?

>>82897059
>>82897222
I want to be treated like a really well behaved wolfdog or a high energy working dog like a malinois or husky. Or I guess an extremely well behaved unusually intelligent wild cat. With “anthropomorphic” stuck on the end of those descriptions. Reposting this thing I wrote about how that would work.

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>>82897461
Affini who starts making videos of their floret but they’re
>It has been… twelve hours.
>And this floret,
>This beautiful, intelligent, UNIVERSALLY beloved little Terran,
>Does not want to leave the park yet.
>Nonny. Nonny, no-
>Nonny, look at me.
>You have gone on… EVERY ride.
>Except the ones for little sprouts, which you said were lame and don’t tell anyone but I kinda agree.
>We have seen every show. You have met every character. They-
>Petal, they sped the rollercoasters up for you. I actually didn’t know they could do that! But they did. For you!
>Can we PLEASE go back to the hab now without me having to carry you.
>Can we…
>Nonny there is NO way you are still hungry. You have had, like, five dinners. Since we got here.
>EVERY treat cart and store knows both of us by name.
>And I know what you first blooms are thinking. Drug him! Just offer him drugs! Xenodrugs solve everything!
>
>Do you think.
>Do you REALLY think.
>That I haven’t thought of that already???
>Nonny is VIOLENTLY high. Right now. Look at him.
>And he still wants to… Where are you pulling me?
>Offff course. The sandwich shop.
>Nonny. If I get you one of those premade Terran sandwiches with the sweet-savory goop in the middle, can we PLEASE go back to the hab? So I don’t have to file paperwork that would let us live here now?
>Is that fair?
-Video cuts-
-Nonny walking happily beside his affini, chewing on an uncrustable-
-His tail is wagging and his head is resting against an affini impersonation of a large and squishy human hip-
>You are a feralist.
>A straight up feralist free terran warrior pyromaniac. I cannot BELIEVE what I let you get away with.
>
>I love you SO much. More than any other floret in the world. The universe will end and begin and end again and I will still love you more than anything.
>Good boy.
>Boop!

>>82897059
It does depend on the owner, but I think there's just more cultural anticipation for dogs being nice and cats being mean more than obidient and well behaved. Like how Huskies get so much love for being super friendly but also being known for passionately singing the songs of their people under any ammount of stress or simply because they feel like it. You still expect more than anything that it will want to play and be nice to people. Where as with cats its obvious that you don't want them just attacking randomly, but there's more of an understanding that they let you pet them and or have a much longer adjusting process to meeting new people. But theres alot that comes down to just standards of clenliness as well, you expect a dog to be a significantly messier animal than a cat, so they get pinned with the stigma of being innately dirty more often, where as cats are seen as much more graceful and lazier, as well as being known for spending a lot of time grooming themselves.

>>82897559
further cementing my self conception as a cat, then. I don't have to be nice and I don't have responsibilities and everyone treats my attention like a privilege while I can focus on myself? heaven.

also I don't see why we couldn't figure out ethical dog fucking in the compact. if a floret wants to knot their pinnate while howling in pleasure while in a completely anatomically accurate body who am I to tell them no.

>>82897559
Huskies and >>82897480 border collies are good examples of how I’d want my affini to think of me though. There’s an understanding that they were bred for a purpose they aren’t being used for anymore and you have to accommodate that, not try to train it out of them.
Like there was a video I saw of a guy who has two huskies that went something like this
>User popcornforbreakfast asks, how did you walk them when you were sick?
>I’ll tell you, popcornforbreakfast!
>I walked them
>I would get up after sleeping for 16 hours, walk them for… two, two and a half hours. Which is short for us.
>And then I’d come home and collapse and sleep for another ten hours.
>Walking them was the only thing I would do all day. But I still did it.
>They HAVE to be walked. It’s not really an option. Even when it’s raining.
It would be nice to have an affini who theoretically could drug me into not wanting to spend two hours out walking (or something else difficult and time consuming) but would never do that because she’d consider it extreme cruelty. Or she’d be confused and say it defeats the purpose. Why would you take a floret with complex and unique needs just to ignore them? Why not take an easier type of floret???

>>82897669
I really don't think there's any reason sex with other animals would be off the table in the Compact.
With some regard for what all survives the Accord, Terran directly refers to any organism from the planet earth. While the Affini have rules in place about adoption and consent and what not, obviously prioritizing provably sapient organisms, I seriously dount they will have any misgivings about body plan, and I'm honestly a bit doubtful so far as intelligence given the existence of little sprouts.

>>82897757
I really do understand your point, it would feel incredible to be loved in that particular and in depth a way.

>>82897886
Thank you Nonny!!! I agree it would be pretty incredibly fun. This video is a cute example of that I think https://youtube.com/shorts/1NDtrTUZcQ4?si=IsZQrIg7ycvfXHj9

i want plommy to care for me and i never have to have a responsibility again

Telling your owner to go to hell when you ascend

>>82898462
Ascend to where

>>82898503
They were put up on a high ledge for being naughty and now they're upset

>>82898540
Putting your floret in air jail…

fini who makes u sleep in a really cozy roomy cage

Public floret art exhibit, it's a large and elegant public fountain (that sprays floret slop instead of water)

>>82898712
fini who compiles a cage just so their floret can feel special by sleeping in bed with them instead

torturing captured feralists with the flortentrunk (schwedentrunk except with floret slop)

>>82899208
Affini who sleeps under their floret's bed like a loving, doting monster

>>82893832
>>82893929
imagine how many people would end up florted for feralism because of their obsession with defending the intellectual property of corporations...

>>82899422
but what if i want to sleep snuggled with mommy…

affini who turns herself into the bed and pillows and blanket every night

>>82899475
You'll have to bravely crawl under the bed with them

>>82899572
That’s too scary though!!! Her eyes are glowing and it’s so dark down there and she’s all pointy!!! But I guess… if it means mommy cuddles… I could try……..

floret on florchan. making posts

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Sometimes when I read stories I imagine myself as a floret making little cameos

miss /hdgg/ is 209 blooms... so old... im honoted to be under such a venerable 'finni's care...

>>82900220
She's a fraud... some of those were mlooms

>>82892329
My older sister used to say that to me...

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Affini who brings me snacks and drinks while I post

>>82900729
And reminds you that sometimes its good to go outside on walk?

Digital malware floret who regularly breaches the firewall on your hab network to drop in and say hi and chat with you (while stealing all the hab sophont monitoring data to ferry back to her owner so they can flort you more easily when they make their move)

>>82900600
obviously she knows where yoh live. is she stupid

>>82900453
those were the best ones

>>82900766
No.

>>82900729
>florted for being a NEET
>New owner keeps you in the hab, only lets you have online friends, and watches anime and plays videogames with you all day

>>82900958
Oh right I thought it quoted lol
No the part abt sleep

>>82901419
Nonny...

>>82901437
Peak performance.

>>82901458
What am I gonna go on a walk for? If my mistress needed my leg muscles to grow she could surely just stick some needles in and stimulate them directly, or put the relevant xenodrugs in my snacks.

>>82901546
Moving your body provides healthy stimulation for their brain, and distancing yourself from devices gives it time to

>>82901615
- recover and relax from a particularly high stress digital enviorment.

Don't ask I don't have answers.

no-oh hjelp no pieces of me are crumbling - no - no

I would whimper a little as a floret I think

Do Affini poop

>>82903009
no

>>82903080
Why

>>82903538
plants don't poop

floret who is obsessed with "feralsmell" for some reason

>>82886304
>Includes an extremely strict DNEEF clause
Chat what does this mean

>>82903655
What if they want to

schizophrenic conspiracy theorist who wholeheartedly believes that the affini are demons and using humans for satanic blood sacrifice rituals

>>82903877
"Do Not Engage Executive Function"

It means you're not allowed to think for yourself.

>>82901615
>>82901626
If I needed to de-stress I'd just play a relaxing video game, or masturbate, or get fucked stupid with vines. Outside only exists because it's where food came from, now we have the compiler. It's redundant.

>>82886304
>>82904023
What happens if you break a rule in the contract? Do they hit you with a beam that makes you stupid or something

>>82904413
no but that sounds like a good idea

>>82904413
I think it just makes it so you can't make decisions or choices at all, just total mindless obedience

>>82904523
Is that even living?

>>82904753
of course it is
is an animal that simply obeys its instincts and is well trained not living? can it not have a good life?

>>82904523
>>82904753
>>82904792
If you've got a DNEEF clause in your contact, then I don't think anything is necessarily stopping you from having thoughts like "I'd prefer to wear pants instead of a dress," you just aren't allowed to voice those thoughts or act on them, lest you be punished. Unless you've got a really strict Affini who's keeping a close eye on your implant data and corrects your thoughts before you can even decide to risk trying to do anything with them.

>>82904880
actually it sounds nice to have my thoughts corrected before I can act on them

>>82899074
wow. imagine the pleasant glooping sound as the occasional large chunk forces its way through the hydraulics and plops in the water

rape and torture (it's For Your Own Good™)

>>82904880
>>82904023
>>82903877
It just means the affini aren't supposed to ask you to make a decision. Ever. If you spontaneously choose to do things, or have a preference, that's not breaking contract. The DNEEF is the burden on the affini.

>>82906524
That sounds kinda nice
Also sounds like a pain in the butt for the ffini tho

>>82901458
ehh "good health" checks are mostly just excuses to ease floret pickings, standards go out of the window once they succeed pinning you down anyways

>>82906827
A good owner is still morally obliagated to ensure you live a happ AND healthy life for the sake of your own good.
The least you can do is get a metabolic adjustment if you're THAT adamant about just being a neet.

Affini who recreates a medieval themed dinner show for her floret but the only reference she has for how four legged horses look and behave is the e621 results for Horse feral order:score -friendship_is_magic -animated so the show ends up being really unintentionally erotic.

>>82906988
I don't care about trivial matters like my biology, an affini is welcome to handle that while I focus on posting, gaming and appreciating fine art.

>>82907135
Your Affini's just gonna turn off the internet until you touch grass dummy

>>82907552
Is that what she calls her genitals?

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>>82906989
>Medieval themed play where the Queen's scenes always involve her rimming a horse or becoming it's breeding mount (The horse is also the king)
>Every character rides horses by tying themselves to a horse's stomach and skewering themselves on it's cock
>>82907564
I mean it is now

>>82907135
>>82907552
Biology is overrated. Come to the digital side.

>>82906989
Could be worse. She could have based it on the /d/orse.

>>82907635
Interestingly if she went entirely by e621 tags about half the horses are going to have human level intelligence while the other half are going to be alien sex machines who exist to fuck harder than any human ever could.
>>82907674
That would be SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER because it wouldn’t turn me on and would just be strange and silly. With this setup assuming the floret is me that affini is going to be seeing some extremely incriminating thoughts coming through my implant every second of the show and if she’s anything like I imagine my affini she will have me blushing so hard I’m going to cry before the first food is served.

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>>82907759
>Interestingly if she went entirely by e621 tags about half the horses are going to have human level intelligence while the other half are going to be alien sex machines who exist to fuck harder than any human ever could.
Which would you be more turned on by?
>With this setup assuming the floret is me that affini is going to be seeing some extremely incriminating thoughts coming through my implant every second of the show
Do you think she'd try and use that knowledge in the bedroom? Maybe she'd let you "ride" a stallion or two if you asked nicely...

>>82907905
>Which would you be more turned on by?
A (very obviously not real) horse with human level intelligence who teases me about being a gigantic pervert and convinces me to fuck one of the (female) alien sex machine ones. Then lets me suck and top him as a reward.
>Do you think she'd try and use that knowledge in the bedroom? Maybe she'd let you "ride" a stallion or two if you asked nicely...
Nonny if I leave that silly show without having personally “ridden” or “worshipped” or “cum inside of” every single fucking creature that made my cock twitch even a little then she is not my affini. If this was a fic it would have three dead dove content warnings and an epilogue where my affini forms her vines into a similar vaguely equine shape with matching pleasure grafts and asks if I’m really really super sure that I didn’t enjoy every second of that thing that happened yesterday.

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>>82908522
>A (very obviously not real) horse with human level intelligence who teases me about being a gigantic pervert
You like being bullied about your kinks a lot huh?
>and convinces me to fuck one of the (female) alien sex machine ones. Then lets me suck and top him as a reward.
Cute, I wonder if you'd enjoy looking like one of those horses too... at least for a little while
>Nonny if I leave that silly show without having personally “ridden” or “worshipped” or “cum inside of” every single fucking creature that made my cock twitch even a little then she is not my affini.
>an epilogue where my affini forms her vines into a similar vaguely equine shape with matching pleasure grafts
True, are there any other animals forms you find a little too appealing?

groggily waking up in your 'finnis arms before hearing "No, love. You need more rest." feeling a pinprick on the back of your neck and then snuggling back in and drifting off