>me boarding only after they start calling my name on the PA system
>>2671784how do you find a space to put your bag in the overhead storage?
>>2671789I don’t. That’s what the fag male stewardess is for
>>2671784I don't know why I'm laughing at this but I am.
>>2671803Why the fuck would I stand in line like some Jamoke?
>mfw I'm the last to board and I have a window seat and I have to fart so I just fart while I'm squeezing between the 2 people in the aisle seat and the middle seat
>>2671846This guy drowns in pussy while he's on vacation and doesn't pay.
>>2671789reminds me of something that happened last year>going to croatia with my dad on ryanair>we pay for priority to get extra bags>some fuckup at the airport, priority passengers only allowed on after normal guys>we are like the last 10 people on the plane and have to put our bags like 5 rows away behind us>arrive and only the front door is opened>have to wait for everyone else to get off
>>2671784>be me>decide to dress up in business casual button down shirt and chinos>tsa precheck>get randomly selected for a screening>wtf.jpg>have to take off shoes and let some faggot rub his hands over my bodythis never happened when i dressed like a slob
>>2671949They liked the look of your metrosexual Ross wearing ass
>>2671784>Queueing up at security>Wearing 12 layers of clothing to avoid carryon charges>Stand in the queue like a boss taking off all my expensive designer gear>Feel the bitches in the queue checking me out and wondering how i can afford all this stuff>Use like 3 trays to fit in all my shirts and jackets and ties, making sure to fold them nicely>Walk through metal detector still wearing my backpack>Starts beeping>Turn round and give a cutiepie a wink>Security slave takes my backpack to be personally scanned like a concierge service>Comes back clean>Say "cokes in my back pocket" and give her a wink, knowing she doesn't speak English>Buy a bottle of champagne in duty free>Drink it outside of the business lounge, laughing at all the people having to pay to get inLove traveling like a VIP business traveler for a fraction of the cost.
>>2672015This is perfect
>"please remain seated while we taxi towards the gate">stand up and get my bag
>>2672849>please keep your seatbelt fastened!>immediately unclip my seatbelt
>>2671801They should make it so that male flight attendants can only be twinks, and they have to wear the female uniformsI hate the fat bearded soifag ones
>>2672849Lol I did this recently on a Lufthansa flight and in typical German fashion the flight attendants IMMEDIATELY(seriously the reaction time was crazy) started yelling at me to sit down and follow ze rules
>>2672849Can I kill you?
>>2672881Bro you could have been hurled out the front by a sudden stop at mach 5 velocity only to be sucked in by a turbine
>>2672015>paying to get into business loungeTravelet doesn't even have frequent flyer status.
>>2672917>grinding points on flights like an gamer and falling for marketing tricks>not just dropping stacks of cash on the desk and offering the whole lounge a drink on me
>>2672849>>2672858>sit in aisle seat>remain seated until everybody else left, ensuring that window seat misses his connection
>live in Miami>the Cubans here are retarded and selfish>the nanosecond they mention we are about to begin boarding they all sprint toward the gate>just stand in front of gate and block everyone even if they are in the last group to board>do the same thing when we land>grab their bags and push everyone out of the way so they can be first off the planeGarbage people, I hate it here
>>2671789>pulls some woman's bag out and puts it in he rlap
>>2672936>a drink on meTop kek
>>2672955Tbh I’m stepping over your dumbass
>>2672955anyone who didn't step over and whack your face with their bag on the way out is a cuck who deserves to miss their connection
>when the city has escape rooms and ax throwing
>>2671784>full recline the moment the plane takes off, and it stays that way until we land>lanklet behind me keeps struggling to eat his meal because the tray can barely even be opened
>>2674769> *bong*> yes sorry to bother you skymommy, this baboon in front of me has his seat all the way down like your average nigger> sorry anon no problem, sir move your seat forward
>>2671784this thread is cope marketing for spirit airlines
>>2674813lmao you actually think that attendants can tell a passenger to put their seat upright? I paid for a reclining seat and I'm going to recline it. they literally cannot and will not demand that someone adjusts the seat (except for takeoff and landing)
>ticket says boarding group #4>queue when boarding groups 1 & 2 are called>watch passengers fight for overhead luggage space>flight gets delayed because of said fight
>>2672955If you ever did this in my row I would shove my forearm in your face while stepping over you.
>>2671784>Put passport in loose shorts pockets>Ask passport control to call the plane>Get the stewardesses to deliver it for you
>>2674878Boarding group have become more enforced these days. The automated gates at many airports now will just beep at you if you try boarding before pleb groups.
>>2672962I live in a heavily Latino area near the border and see a lot of this same behavior. About 50% of them will grab their bag as soon as the plane comes to a halt at the gate and walk as far forward as they can in the aisle to save 2 minutes of deplane time. They also drive like fucking maniacs and my city has extremely high traffic fatalities
>>2672864sounds good, when do I start?
>travel with gf in the US>having too much fun so I decide to stay 2 months here solo while she goes back to work>they called my name for the boarding several times and the plane was late
>>2671784>Me playing FIFA on the free console next to the gate until final call
>>2675458Dangerously based desu desu
>>2674886You wouldn't do shit.
>>2672962>travel through Chinese main hub>boarding beings >all run up trying to check in>in group 4 or some bullshit well beyond first groups>finally, board see them just taking whatever seat fits their family of 5(it's always 5 fucking people because granny is there)>they just grab some free isle that happens to be open not even close to their seats >people filter in obviously confused why they are in the wrong seats>big issue with everyone trying to get their seat>if they have to move you can guarantee 24/7 the chink family is going to be racing up and down the isle for anything >finally land>they stand up 1 millisecond after we stop bouncing>PLEASE SIT DOWN>keep going for their bags>SIR SIT DOWN>finally someone gets them to sit down>They get the message>pull into gate>shove past people trying to get their bags >are the slowest mother fuckers to ever get off the plane>once on the walk way basically stop to talk to eachother rather than getting out to the waiting area
>>2675472>fly cathay hong kong to new york>literally an entire plane of old uncles and aunties>spend the whole flight coughing, spitting, sneezing, and getting up to pee>every time they walk down the aisle to the bathroom, legit crash into the people sitting in the aisle seat>cause a fucking parade of people into the aisles when window seat uncle needs to piss for the five hundreth time>twenty people near the bathrooms for the entire 16 hour flight>constantly opening overhead bins to throw shit all over the place >random shouting>grab all their shit the second the plane lands and just mill around smacking other people with their bags and backpacks>waiting in line for immigration with the same people>still constantly spitting and coughing>black airport employee arguing with dumbfucks who lined up in the US passport line and obviously don't speak any english>still getting smacked by backpacks and have random people kicking my luggagejesus just fucking kill me. i'm sure the airline itself is good but never flying with them again.
>>2672917I get lounge passes with my credit card. Dont even need to be one of those frequent flyer tards.
>>2675507Learning the lesson and flying business from Shanghai to HK to avoid the mess of these people, no need to worry then.
>Japanese tourist or family who is clearly lost or clueless on boarding/finding their flight but won't ask for help>Central Americans(mexican and Puerto Ricans) make you question if they really are human>Koreans who the second the plane door closes try to give Chinese a run for their money on manners>African who wants to practice english on you before landing and will not shut up >Drunk bongs who clearly wants more alcohol but is cut off and has to be loud as shit the entire time>Americans who question literally every part of the trip like you're some staff member(boomers do this non stop)>Middle east family who let their kids run around like wild animals where the mom clearly can't handle it while the dad is looking to smoke>French who when ANYTHING goes wrong it's the end of the world despite being minor nothing burger>Indians who keep trying to figure out a way to smoke or ask if they can smoke>That one guy who has <random allergy> so the meals are cucked on the plane to some bullshit vegan shit>That person who has to piss every 30 minutes or so even if you ask them to change seats so they can have the isle they say no>Family who asks you to change seats so they can be together don't tell you till after their other seat is actually 53B
>boarding plane>see bags in overhead at front of cabin>no one sitting down at front of cabin>someone in the back putting their bags upfront>take bags out and place on random chair>proceed to my normal seat
I don't wait till they call my name I wait till when I expect my boarding time is. Technically I could board earlier because I still have my military ID even though I am a veteran. No one looks twice. As for baggage, I don't lug around that shit at airports. That's retarded. Overhead storage is also retarded, you should ship your baggage in advanced to the hotel where you are staying your first night. Then you can backpack in the country. Stop lugging your baggage around at airports you dumb fucks. It's a hassle and just makes things slower and more crowded when you travel.
>>2675946based>>2675970>just ship your bag for 300$ a month in advance and have it never arrive because it's figuring it's way to KyrgyzstanSmart move vetbro
>>2675996>there are plenty of luggage shipping/forwarding companies that guarantee delivery. Also, why the fuck are you shipping something only a few days before your trip. Hotels will hold your luggage. People are just stupid. We have services that solve just about any travel hassle.
>>2676007Doesn't solve the fact that it would cost an arm and a leg to mail a fucking backpack to another country just because you're too weak to carry 8kg on your back.
>>2675970lol what is it about right wing chuds and refusing to have a roller suitcase? you dumbfucks literally always have a duffel bag at the airport. gotta tell the world you’re blue collar i guess
>>2675946>short haul flight on small plane>boarding plane as one of the last because I was knocking back drinks in the lounge>have first row seat, can't stow anything underneath next seat>all overhead cabins full, despite the only passenger in business class of two rows>ask flight attendant where I can stow my bag>she pulls out one oversized luggage and asks if belongs to anyone nearby>obviously nobody answers>"whose bag is this, if this does not belong to anyone we have to offload it">guy from back row comes up>WTF THAT IS MY BAG NO I LEFT IT THERE YOU CAN'T OFFLOAD IT>all bins completely full>sorry sir we have to put this bag into the holdI love snitching on plebs who think they are clever in placing their bags in the front overhead bins despite having a seat all the way in the back. You think you're saving time and effort until you realize you have to wait for your bag on the carousel instead.
>board plane>short ass flight probably 45 minutes by the time we hit 30k ft we spend 5 minutes before decending it seems>smaller than normal plane>that ONE GUY>that fucking ONE GUY sits next to you>fat fuck decided it would be a great idea to bring his meal he ordered on the plane for this short shit flight>obviously not enough room to properly eat it so bumping into everything and you >gets shit all over the place>fat fuck can't apologize>see him waddle to the next place once leaving the plane
>>2676043Some people actually travel outside urban centers anon. They go out in the country. I know it's hard to fathom but it's not easy to carry a roller suitcase through a swamp, over a rocky road or anywhere but paved surfaces anon. Jesus. Not duffel, backpack.
>>2676041>a couple hundredUhm... stop being poor? You guys running through the airport with bags and smashing it against people in a plane is what is lowering the quality of the experience flying. You are just making people more pissed off traveling. Just print out a shipping label or drop that shit off at a post and get on the plane and fly home.
>>2672015First time traveler I see. Lurk a bit more before posting to avoid looking fake and gay.
>>2674857Nigger you better hope you never sit in front of me. The faggot steward will be the least of your problems
>>2676126you've inadvertently exposed your newfag package holiday status if you can't see the subtle signs there desu
>>2676081Not all of us are on gubment military disability gibs for hitting yourself in the head with a ratchet strap on your one deployment to the middle east or from hurting your flat feet and getting 100% disability because you can't run you fat pog
>last on plane>take my sweet time walking the jetbridge>soon as I board the door closes>"cabin crew prepare for taxi" before I've even sat down>whole plane staring me down as I walk the entire length of the plane>make people already sat down and comfortable to move to get to my window seat
>>2676051absolutely based. My carry on fits under my seat anyway so I'm not affected thankfully, but I'll gladly snitch on those people.
>>2676081Buy an ad, faggot
>>2676159Actually no, I’m the well dressed guy with wife on my arm walking past you into said lounge wondering what the fuck someone is doing sitting on the floor drinking out of a bottle of champagne like a homeless person.
>>2674561>we can eat at Number Grille with the exposed brick!
>>2672010ROSS
>>2672015holy based
>so we're feeling like seafood tonight?>I looked at the reviews>let's check out Bubba Gump
>domestic flight in mexico>go to my seat, some fat bitch is there so I politely tell her it's mine>she acts all offended but begrudgingly moves>right after I sit down an actual fistfight erupts in the aisle in front of me>two tiny beaners are grappling on the floor while SCREAMING at each other >continues for quite some time while everyone just watches and laughs, after several minutes of ineffectual punches someone breaks it up>plane goes in circles on the runway for over an hour because apparently missed the timing to land in mexico city (the busiest airport in the country)travel is so fun guys
>>2672962>fly connection through MiA for saving costs>Latino families everywhere>kids all being little shits crying and running around bumping into things>parents give absolutely 0 shits about it your problem not theirs>walk up to scan the boarding pass but never have their ticket out despite being told to have it out and seeing people in front of them do it>act confused and blabber on about how they should be getting onto the plane now>nope and waddle through the line rather than exit to the left or right>they walk up to the gate at every wrong group because they are in group 8 and even with spanish announcements still think they can get inWithout fail>once on the plane ignore every seat assignment they are told and go for just whatever>obviously they took someone elses seat>even if it's someone speaking spanish they feel it's their right to sit where the fuck ever>everytime.jpg flight attendant has to come by and get the fucker to move>finally take off late because the latinos can't handle reading spanish or matching A32 to A32 seat>before even finishing take off pedro and co all try to go get some shit in their bags
>fly through TPE>heh, this won't be as bad as china! Oh how wrong I was...
>>2675530>asks you to change seatsI thought you had to stay in your seat so when the plane crashes they can identify the body from seat number
>>2676043I've used both and prefer a small Duffel with a shoulder strap unless I'm directly airport to taxi to hotel. Honestly I never travel with more than needs a small duffel anyhow. I've never dug those big backpacks with straps all over but I do find a day pack handy.
>>2671949Was patted down bc "something" was showing up on the body scanner at LAX. Nothing and staff seemed bored by the entire experience. Was totally *not* busy , no queue at scanner. Later I found a dime in the back pocket of my H&M jeans. But would a dime really show up? And if so you'd see it's a dime. I'm a regular looking 5'6 (yes white) guy but the whole thing felt like quotas.
>>2680850>would a dime really show up?Yes it would retard
>>2671784
>>2680847>I thought you had to stay in your seat so when the plane crashes they can identify the body from seat numberWhat lmao no, generally they just want everyone in the assigned seat because people may have paid extra $$ to select that seat and it's not fair for it being taken. Pretty common for me to be asked by someone to move to X or y seat especially if you fly where mexicans are, those people not being able to sit all together is like telling them their visa is no good
Me jamming my seat back into the next row while impressing the whore next to me by smoking and acting totally confident with her. Oh, and I casually point with my left hand where her head will be mid-flight. I explain in a totally cocky tone that she will be wearing two pearl necklaces when she exited the plane.
And I don't give a shit that I'm reclined into the exit row. I need to old folks behind me to see my eyes roll back in my head while getting serviced by this travel whore.
>We have to get to the airport two hours early so we don’t miss the flight
>>2676288based
every domestic flight>boarding starts, i’m still knocking drinks back >never stand in a line, will always sit and wait till the last persons ticket gets checked >overhead full? who cares, tag it, i’ll see it as soon as i get off. Everything i need is in my pockets or my backpack > go the bathroom every hour or two to hit my pen>plane lands, all the plebs stand up and rush>sit and wait till there’s no line, then i exitWhat’s the rush, you’re saving 5 minutes tops. I get it if you have a connecting flight but if it’s your final destination, why act like you get a gold medal to get on and off first.
>>2683998Makes sense for domestic you're right but I usually end up getting seats close to the front row so sitting and waiting is pointless for me
>>2684001good move, i have middle school brain so i usually try to get a far back seat row like i’m on the back of the bus for the privacy and people not noticing me hit the bathroom so much, or emergency exit for the extra room.
>>2676599>insults people by telling them to support 4chanmental illness or just a shill?
>>2672849I live in a heavily Hispanic area of USA and almost every Latino does this. The minute the plane comes to a halt they stand up in row 29 and try to push their way forward to deplane 2 minutes faster
>plane lands>everyone is rushing to take their bags and leave>while everyone else is busy, astutely notice the bus we'll take to the terminal from my window seat>get out and enter bus last, get to stand by the door so I'm the first to leave
I hate people who bring their smelly disgusting food onto the plane. They should be shot on sight once they pull out their Panda Express or garlic wings. Also American airline food is garbage and it never ceases to amuses me when the NPCs on the plane dig into it without hesitation. I’d rather die than eat that slop. The true redpill is eating a solid meal at the airport and then loading a few energy bars or snacks into your backpack for the flight.
>>2680807that reminds me of my MIA experience>flying miami to madrid>slept like shit night before>flight is at around 10pm>got to MIA around 8pm>spanish place next to gate>people working there are loud as fuck>very boisterous, screamtalking with everyone there>spanish kids running around playing>I'm in my seat semi-conscious with sunglasses on and a hood up>jolt awake every few minutes to the raucous screams of all the latinxs>finally get to boarding>of course one sits next to me>some grandma>I'm window she's aisle>nobody takes middle>fall asleep for an hour>wake up and the little bitch is sleeping across both chairsI'm never doing a long flight to or from MIA again
>>2684582based. Those fucking buses are the worst part of flying. Hate them with a passion - For me it's playing "formula 1" in my head and trying to overtake all the passengers to get to security first. In my head I'm saving hours worth of queueing.
Wait, they actually call your name in the airport if you miss your flight?If I liked my stay in a country I usually just bought a second ticket and ignored the first one.
>>2685065yeah i don't really understand why people would rush off the plane just to spend the next 10 mins walking at my grandma's pace, pisses me offhad a hilarious one once. was one of the first few through border control (small airport tho so no big walk) and managed to just about slide on to the once per hour public bus to the main town on the island several km away while most of the plane was still in the border queue (taxis = 20-30x the price of the bus)
>middle east / Arab something race>children running around SCREAMING like they are on a playground outdoors>husband seemingly in another planet of thought>phase in and out of being in line, oh what you didn't know that they demanded their spot back because the entire family decided to walk over for the water fountain for 5 minutes?>take forever to order anything take somehow equally as long to bother paying>try to get on the plane when the "women with babbies or stollers can board" despite their kids being like 7 or 8>always in the wrong seats>without fail kids will scream when forced to take a seat on the plane>can not fucking deboard the plane despite the isles ahead with elderly and lardasses seemingly have 0 issue
>>2675507I had to deal with cathay customer support and believe me, they are somehow worse than the passengers. Complete incompetence, whole useless low paid outsourced team that cannot escalate and does not care about anything.Learned my lesson to pay extra and use first world airlines from now on
>>2675460It actually happen too. Not because I'm based, but because I'm retarded.
I love bag checking the early standers on flights with my 30lb backpack when I stand up to grab my overhead. Back the fuck up I need to still grab my shit and my girls shit. As I swing my bag over my shoulder blasting any fuck standing near me. Even more funny was rolling over everyone with my little boys stroller. Oh you're priority boarding? Get out of my way.
>>2675458Some of you are alright
>>2671784They don't do this in New York
>>2674769When this happens to me and the food is coming, I will reach forward, tap you on the shoulder and ask you nicely to put your seat back please.Every time the person has looked embarrassed and done as I asked.
>>2674886you would sit there and seethe and probably post about it on reddit afterwards
>>2687396If you ever did this to me I would swing my bag at your head and you would do nothing but seethe pussy faggot.
What is it with Priority Boarding? They always call groups 1-2 first like they should but then everyone in the other groups randomly lines up behind them in disorganized clusters without knowing if the person in front of them is the last person for either of the first two groups, which means they don’t know if they’re actually getting called next or if there’s more members of group 1-2 that still need to board. Either let it be a free for all (which I prefer) or have strictly maintained order, pick ONE you fucking faggots. Stop making me feel retarded for following the directions and remaining seated until the later groups are called, meanwhile your Group 4 bitch ass just lines up in the back of the Group 2 line and casually strolls onto the plane when they don’t do shit about you clearly having a Group 4 pass
>>2685065>For me it's playing "formula 1" in my head and trying to overtake all the passengers to get to security first.It's very satisfying to disembark down an ultra-long corridor and then activate the autism walk speed DRS to beat 50 people in a row to immigration.
>>2688365More airports these days have automated gates that don't let you board until it's your group's turn.
>>2689096Incredibly based. Love it when there's stairs, too, and NPCs go at half-speed up the escalator.
>>2671949>flying home from Japan>see a tiny cute security lady after the metal detector>purposefully forget a metal object in my pocket>get a patdown from a 150cm cutieSometimes things work out well
>>2675472>>once on the walk way basically stop to talk to eachother rather than getting out to the waiting areaoh my FUCKING GOD these people deserve to get kicked in the teethanyone with any sort of cognitive capabilities knows that in airports you power walk everywhere and get the fuck out of the way if you don't
>>2671949It's not gay unless you played Pony on your phone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbnoG2dsUk0)
