How does one obtain an elf-wife?
>>214151644Get groomed by one
>>2141516441. be dunedain2. be orphan as a child and hope the Elven Elder takes you in3. be childhood friend of elven girl4. wait 20 years
>>214151659Hate to disappoint you but they met when Aragorn was 20
>>214151659>ara ara aragorn-kun
>>214151644Fact. Elves LOVE anal.
>>214151768Mentally age speaking he is still a child
>>214151644They lose all interest in sex after 2 or 3 babies and they probably only do it to get pregnant. Would be boring after a while having to pester her for sex, but maybe it'd be kinky knowing she doesn't like it but will do anything to make you happy.>>214151659>Oh btw Arwen, I have a 20 year old human boy living with me now. Be nice to him, his family's all dead>Arwen thinks of a 20 year old elf and then makes that face
>>214151768That's barely a toddler by elf standards you sick fuck
>>214151644You seek the one known as Truck kun.
>>214151768That was when they met, she only saw him as a mate when Aragorn was 49 years old.
All elf women crave BHC, especially if they are married
>>214151644There's been like 3 men in the entire history of Middle Earth that married an elf, two of them were great heroes and the other is Aragorn.
>>214154500what a rude thing to imply about aragorn.
>Yeah we elves have the shitty end of the stick>We're immortal, immuned to diseases, wise, beautiful, friends of the gods, the immortal lands call for us and is expecting us... You men have it much better with the gift of IluvatarWhy are elves like that?
>>214151644Elves aren't real, gooner. Try to think about what's what before you post this inane bullshit. Now depart from my board, or be quelled by the fire of a permanent ban. This is your first and final warning.
>>214154500I wasn't trying to trash Aragorn, just wanted to illustrate how great the other two are
>>214154541>live reasonable life span>drink beer and fuck>die telling your grandkids about that time you kicked the shit out of that dwarf fucker at the pub or that other time you and the lads held the fort against an orc raid>die at a reasonable age with your wifeThe elves are jealous desu, they've got centuries of life to seethe.
Elf and Man mixing makes me fucking sick to my stomach
>>214154568>>think about whats before you>it's all shit>enjoy a fantasy realm where low-iq savages are a villain from a distant land>>noooooooooo you can't do thatpiss of
>>214154671We know Elrond.
>>214154690>piss ofPiss of what? Not elves, because they don't exist. Expire immediately, fool.
>>214154701>i spotted a lack of a letter in a word on a sudanese sandal weaving smoke circle, gotcha punkPiss* off. If you actually spoke English, you would understand what a typo is.
>>214151644Be an 8 ft tall giga chad man.
>>214151644Be a Bretonnian Squire
>>214154729You can't tell the difference between a fictional species and real life, and you can't write or type either. What a credit to you.
>>214154671Elrond is half human himself, his daughter was already mutted. If anything it's only proper she marry a man and leave the other elven bloodlines alone.
>>214154740Cope. Elf woman desire stocky hairy dwarven arms
>>214151768You've disappointed me greatly. Fuck you.
>>214154754>can't get past a typo of "off" written as "of">>aktchually im smarterer than uok fag
>>214154782Sorry, what? I can't hear you over my harem of dick hungry elves.
>>214151644There should be more movies with elf wives
>>214151644You can't Elf's are incredibly racist
Wtf happened bros?
I wish I had an elf-wife
>>214154671Elves belong to human cock
>>214155032Too much native faggotry. Tolkien basically gave everyone a one-time pass to make elves that weren't stand-ins for wagon burners. Japs have no concept of this limitation.
>>214154541Humans get to go beyond the walls of Arda and be with Iluvatar in all his glory beyond timeless time.Elves have to sit and wait forever. They can't leave until literally the end of time, and they die and die and die and die and then have to fight Morgoth (again) and die. Only then are they allowed to rest, briefly, until they wake up in the next world with the dwarves, while Men are watching with Iluvatar and laughing.
>>214155032I remember there used to be a LOT of anime pictures with Legolas and Thranduil on the internet.
>>214154671BasedHeil Elf power!
>>214151644>>214154671>>214154956>>214155039What would you do if you had an elf gf?
>>214156207fuck off tard
>>214156207bully her too
>>214156207Sauce on this?>>214154782Asking if this is any good, unironically.
>>214156796My elf childhood friend has an onlyf*ns account.
>>214156846Thats silly anon. How can a comic have an onlyfans account? A comic isnt a whore, silly.
>>214156907You asked for the source, don't blame me for the nips having shit naming sense. Seriously, their naming sense really pisses me off, and it started with the rise of mass produced isekai. There were so many flooding the market that they had to start giving plot summaries in the title, just so people would pick them up. Now Korea has the same god damn problem with their manhwa. "The great sage reincarnates after 300 years and wants to live the slow life!" "I died and was summoned to the other world as the worst mob npc!" "The reincarnated ranker is the strongest fisherman!" "I quit my desk job in another world after being reincarnated, and somehow became the husband to the demon queen who was sealed away for 400,000 years?!" It's all the god damn same direct statement naming bullshit.
>>214156974At least it serves as an excellent red flag.the wanna be subversive shit is a plague on the genre, mostly because it almost always drops the act 1-2 chapters in and just becomes what it was supposed to subvert except winking at the camera a few times
>>214154541So basically there's GOD and then there's the gods who made middle earth. Middle earth got corrupted because there were too many conflicting ideas, which so why the sea god stays in his area away from others, and dwarfs were made by a single god which pissed everyone off since they weren't allowed to do that.Elves were made alongside middle earth and the intentions made sense if the plans weren't fucked with. Immortal beings who cared for the land and keep everything in check. But they couldn't have a few hours to wake up before morgoth started fucking with them so the plan was doomed to fail and middle earth is just a dump.Anyway GOD made his own perfect realm away from everyone else which is heaven, not even the gods can go there, they can only try to recreate how awesome it is (which were the undying lands)And basically it's how things were meant to be for middle earth, and elves are salty they can't get to go and have to settle for the holiday inn version made by the lowercase gods.
>>214154422this dude was a total cuck, why did he let galadriel flirt with the hobbits and gimli so openly?
>>214154771>>214151659Kill yourself pedo
>>214155113Jap "fantasy" is not even fantasy, it is just soulless D&D/Dragon Quest ripoff. Too many RPG elements like "mana" and "slime monsters" to qualify as actual fantasy.
>>214155032>>214155113tranime ruins everything as always
Around elves, watch yourselves
>>214152336>Tells Arwen "You kneel for everyone"
>>214154671ThisStrong Orc Women are for Men to dominate
>>214151644She was quarter human, Aragorn was of Numenorian descent with some elf thrown in.
>>214152422She's like a Vulcan. Goes through pon farr every few years where she's insatiable and horny enough to rape you.
>>214154671I hate elves as much as any other pure blooded human but I'd still plap their women and give birth to a half-elf son that I abandon and force to live a life in exile until he finally accepts his identity (but I never will)
Humans >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Dwarves >>>>>>>>>>>> Elvessimple as
Why yes, I do like my Elven girls red haired!
>>214151644The government doesn't want you to know this, but the elves in the forest are free, you can just take them homeI have four elves
>>214161127the cringe elf-dwarf romance in the hobbit was so tacked-on and forced it make me laugh
>>214154956Kida isn't an elf, though. AI is deceiving you.
>>214155032
