>this says if we don't reach the packistan border by nightfall someone will quote "do the needful"
>so in the middle of the night, we redeemed james may's engine
>>214375909CLARKSON YOU BLOODY BENCHOD
>ok we are here and the nearest toilet is one hundred and seventy miles away
imagine the smell
>Evidently, May has led us down a path where the locals will not let us path until we worship something called "A Vishnu". And eat their "sacred cakes", whatever those are.
>Chaps, is that man cutting bread with his toenails?
hammond has released his gin nowis it free money?
>>214378809>It keeps overheating, I don't understand it!>Well Hammond, you've replaced your coolant with street curry.>Yes, probably shouldn't have done that.>Probably.>Smells good though!>No, it doesn't.
>Gentlemen, I have received a proposal of the INDECENT kind by the hostess at the hotel restaurant.>Hammond, do you mean the pajeeta with the blue sari?>Yes!>Oh. Oh, dear...>What?>I've had her.>Clarkson you giant fat git, you haven't.>I 'ave.>Here I am! Ready with tales of my most boring evening yet!>James, you've just arrived so let me catch you up. Hammond was proposed upon (the indecent kind) by a young waitress>HOSTESS!>right, anyway the young thing in the blue sari>Oh yes, I did notice her.>Well, it seems that he wasn't quite quick enough to bed her before I had a go of it.>You didn't.>OH YES.>I hate the both of you!
>>214375752>Hammond>What is it?>Have you noticed the air smells ripe this morning>Oh, OH GOD yeah it does. Why?>Well, it appears we're on the designated shitting street
>>214379301>but....I've just parked there
>>214379301lel
>>214379301>oh there's James, JAMESSS!!!!>He's coming this way....why is he walking like that?>I don't know...WHY ARE YOU WALKING LIKE THAT, JAMES MAY?>You look miserable, James.>Well, I've just been round to the shops, and they directed me to an alleyway where I could get "a nice price".>Oh, dear.>You were raped, weren't you James?>I was.>LMAO you were raped on the designated shitting street?!?>Yes.
>hammoooond, you bloody benchod
>>214379702>Well then, with James raped and Hammond now driving a Shitroen we'll be heading north on our way to drink from the holy Ganges River>But not before I found a new development had happened with my car as well>HAMMOND! What's happened to my steering wheel? It's been replaced with bunch of plastic>Well, while you were sleeping James and I found a little establishment nearby where we were able to redeem your steering wheel for some Google Play store vouchers>Oh God, you've taken the brake pedal as well. Look! It's just a Apple store gift card. How am I meant to drive now?>Well, according to the center we were talking to, you should be able to use your barcode on the brake pedal to get back your steering wheel.>*Car whishes past*>Plus, it seems like braking is more of a formality here>And so we start the treacherous drive to the Ganges
>>214379953>and anyway, your car is so MASSIVE, the jeets have mistaken it for a train>James, you may have a point there. I was wondering why my front tire was covered in brown skin.>It's been a problem.
>>214380073>brown shit
>gentlemen... i don't feel too well>CLARKSON! what have you done, man?!>i may have.... taken a little tumble into an river>you were only supposed to take a little sip, not fill every orifice with the stuff! and your face is turning black, you're not playing dress up as an orangutan, are you?
>>214380171>James, you ate cow dung cakes and then told us that drinking cow urine was perfectly acceptable in this country.>The river is worse, trust me.
>>214381284kek
>Look lads, I'm just going to say it.>Please don't say it.>I think India will be superpower 2030.
>>214381697>2030
>>214381992Hammond you idiot you’ve set India back 50 years by showing their shitting street!
I wonder if india is worse now than it was when they went?
What would be the India equivalent of this?
>>214375752>we've had to outfit our cars with big offroad tires to deal with the muddy Indian streets
>>214383603TAKE BATH
>>214383603D351G N4T3D
>>214383603pakastan 1
>>214375752It was at this point Richard realized what the cow cakes we had been feeding him were made from.
>>214384116>I ate WHAT???>Well actually Hammond it’s considered quite holy in this country.
>>214381284This doesn't translate into hindi
>So they have a “sexual emergency”? What do they do, call the sexbulance?>No, they simply rape a women off the street. >reALLY??
>some say he's never shat in a toilet proper, and that he's successfully walked along side a train... without being hit by it...>all we know is, he's called the stig!
>>214386743>Sorry no, the producers have decided to replace The Stig. He isn’t here. >You wot? Who’ve we got then?>Hes an H1-B from Mumbai, he’s called The Jeet.
