Unbelievable how fast this guy summed up every problem with streaming shows!
Name 10 examples.
This accurately describes Creature Commandos. What a waste of time
>>214398924so unrealisticthe sun is still out
>>214399066Every single MCU capeslop
>>214399241>lil bro watched all MCU capeslop
>>214398924I want surf dracula now.
>>214399237Explain your post without sounding like an uncultured pseud.
I had a dream last night where I got betrayed by a vampire friend. What does it mean?
>>214398924streaming saw capeshit origin movies make money and figured they could do the same with cartoons from the 80's and completely original IPsIt's baffling. it's like seeing someone enjoy peanut butter on a stick of celery or on toast and then assuming "peanut butter good" and putting it in everything, even stirring it into your drinks. I fucking hate how the corporate world thinks.
>>214399331Welcome to design by committee.
>>214399237why do you think surf dracula surfsthe spray of the sea protects the undeadgod damn it it's people like you that need that season long explanation of what he does and why.
>>214399237Also he can't traverse flowing water.
>>214399372he goes with the flow, man, he is one with the ocean
>>214399372how'd he get over on the boat then
>>214399372The Victorians didn't subscribe to the "world ocean" model.
>>214399237>>214399372Someone missed the 10 seconds of dialogue explaining all this in episode 7.
>>214398924The overuse of flashbacks for character development (which most of the time doesn't actually develop the character at all) is a cancer that serves purely to fill up screen time. Almost as bad as the end of season reset button where 90% of what happened in a season doesn't matter because it revolves around newly introduced characters who die/disappear at the end of the season and/or most of it happens at a location they arrive at for the start and leave at the end of the season.Seth Rogen does this shit in every series he touches.
>>214399206A show where a team of freaks go on a black ops mission, complete their objective, return to base and then have to return to the same place again to fight the big bad guy? Are you stupid?
>>214399331It’s like how Sony wanted to make every single one of their IPs an extended and interconnected universe with shit like “MIB x 21 Jump Streey” or “the ghostbusters extended universe”
>>214399372>>214399237Those are myths vampires want you to believe.
>>214399291but he didnt sound like a lynchfag
>>214399066OLD Star Trek TOS, TNG, VOY VSNEW Star Trek Picard and DiscoveryVOY:>Wow a guy has a magic time ship and deletes things from history changing it forever!>His goal is to bring back his wife and his own civilization>One of the main cast join his crew>Voyager totally destroyed!>The cre realize that the captain is insane and even with infinet time they have they will never accomplish his mission>Mutiny on shit and it explodesTotal screen time 2 episodes of 45 minutes.https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Year_of_Hell_(episode)Back in the day>Oh boy I wish they made 3 episodes and elaborated more on the crew interaction.NEW STAR TREK4 episodes in>There is something.... something we need to look into!8 episodes in>Here is this cool character that you must love she is very cool11 there is something strange we need to investigate.... somethingFinal episode>Oh LOL like everyone predicted it was a future version of the main character time traveling in a magic space suit to do something.END OF SEASON AND SAGA!I mean I feel like I wasted my time here!How about3 Episodes in>There is this secret section 31 that is above the law6 episodes in>They are gathering ships and doing strange things10 Episodes in >They are attacking up11 Episodes in>LOL It was all a AI who took over the ships and is trying to kill the main crew>Plot armor saves the day they kill the AI!END OF SEASON AND SAGA!I mean I feel like I wasted my time here!
>>214398924Just imagine the X-Files being done in the modern era. When Fox's sister got abducted and the fact that his father worked for the smoker? That's at least 3-4 episodes to "set the stage". Then we of course need to see him go to England for school and then recruited into the FBI. That's another 3-4 episodes. THENHe's working on regular ass FBI cases encountering shit about abductions 1-2 episodes. FINALE! He get's to start the x-files and it ends with Scully being introduced. A whole season to "set the stage". If you're lucky you might get 1 "monster of the week episode but instead it'll be the entire season of season 2 and at the end the smoker appears. Season 3 would be the backstory of the smoker with some cuts to present day where Mulder sits in his office looking at old case files. 3 seasons to do something that nobody ever asked for because the script writers of X-files knew we wanted little exposition and more focus on cool lore about UFOs, monsters, religion etc.
>>214399066come on the uqality of streaming shows fell off a cliff after they stopped thorwing money at it and started chasing profit. Game of thrones is a long time ago now. Apple TV and Amazons shit is hilariously bad.
>>214399237>>214399372Just let my boy cook, OK?
reminder: broadcast shows were also edited to be punchier to make up for the lulls caused by commercial interruptions. streaming shows are edited to be slower, to maximize "view minutes."
>>214398924last line of the first season is "What are you, some kind of Surf Dracula?"
>>214399372Ariel invited him in first
why is everything written in white people ebonics now
>>214400819>little exposition and more focus on cool lore about UFOs, monsters,Sorry that is not modern shows.In modern shows characters stand around or are stupid for 25 minutes and in this wast of time you get literally nothing of value.>get 1 "monster of the week episodeYou forgot the worst part.Take 4 portliness where 2 of them are worthless and people only give a shit about 1 of them.Now mix together these plot lines where only slight progress in made on every one of them in every episode so you can not simply cut out the crap like in old shows. And congratulations you have a season full of pointless character interactions 3 plot lines no one wanted and 1 plot line that drags forever and concludes in some rushed absurdity that feels like a joke only is not funny.I am saying that the plot line about the farting gremlin monster would be in the entire season regardless if anyone wanted it or not!>little exposition and more focus on cool lore about UFOs, monsters,Also remember to not have any lore, world building or coherent universe, it is all charters standing around doing stupid shit to backdrop of a universe that can not function or exist and collapses if you think about it.Worse example Wednesday.>introduce never explained lore about le outcasts>Do not explain if they are monsters>Hint that humans know about these monsters since over 500 years>The world also flip flops between people 90% knowing about monsters and being 99% oblivious to them in modern days>Never explain any of this and the main show is sexy goth girl doing school shit.
>>214401078>last line of the first season is "What are you, some kind of Surf Dracula?"This is so true it hurts.
don't forget that 1998 Surf Dracula would have 24 episodes per season and release every week while 2025 Surf Dracula would have 7-9 episodes per season and take 4 years between seasons
>>214401078>What are you, some kind of *cuts to title card*
>>214401107But she gave up her place in the sea, she's got no authority to make that invitation
>>214401284You need to stop or I will spiral into depression.>*cuts to title card*Yes because i am here to read and not watch.
>>214398924>IA picture slop>Nigger textGood job anon
>>214399066DaredevilIron fistIronheart (still doesn’t become a hero anyway or take on the name of the show)WandavisionObi-wan kenobi Book of boba fett (he still never gets there)MerlinHaloThe WitcherCowboy bebop
>>214401436>Obi-wan kenobiYikes!Did anyone watch this show for more then 5 episodes?Very bad!>Hmm established canon...>These characters face of in the canon>Hey lets have wacky adventures where they re literally looney tunes characters on a chase and non stop battles!
>>214398924Did you really need to remake the old joke with an added AI slop picture though?`
>>214401424>IA
>>214401306this was beforedracula is hundreds of years oldthousands, since sumeria if it's a shitty 80s-00s movie versionhe's Cain if you count the retard weebs roleplaying online version
>>214401351What we need is description cardsYou know how silent movies would have dialogue and sometimes brief summaries of offscreen things on their cards?Well imagine that but it's a long scrolling star wars card just explaining what's happening in the scene they couldn't depict for being too disrespectful to disabled people or women or whatever
>>214401598Dracula is a title passed down the line of the king of Vampires, the latest being a Pacific Islander Prince. Hence why he can surf and it's not cultural appropriation.
>>214401545Sorry, in spanish it's Inteligencia Artificial and sometimes it slips.
>>214401639>What we need is description cardsI was thinking subtitles are this since you know modern actors can not speak?[WAKE ME UP INSIDE]
>>214399372The ocean isn’t flowing
>>214401688kek, the funny thing is I described this as a joke but I am watching The Shadow (1994) on my other monitor and it GENUINELY just now did this exact thing with scrolling text explaining a training arc instead of showing it, minutes after my post.
>>214401723>The Shadow (1994)Forgettable movie.Modern actors still can not talk.
>>214401750You don't want brooding whispering with a +40 dB swelling strings track overlaid and bass blasting out your eardrums every time something happens if you watch in a theater?
