>Love action movies as a kid, especially martial arts movies.>The hero always takes his shirt off in the final battle.>Go to school one day.>Bully picking on me.>Get fed up and decide to throw down.>Bully prepares to beat me up.>Take my shirt off in front of the entire class and adopt fighting stances while doing Van Damme noises. >Bully is too weirded out to fight.
>>214514160It worked out didn't?
I ended my bully's reign because of Bruce Lee's movies
>>214514160You gained the respect of your opponent without a single touchThe sign of a true warrior
After Harriet the Spy came out, my brother started keeping a journal and writing stuff. Specifically he would write down license plates that had expired tags. My Dad found out and wasn’t happy. That was the end of that.
Reminds me of the time I got into a fight and made Bruce Lee noises, it still keeps me up at night
>>214514261Could had been worseAt least he didn't start to crossdress
>>214514160>defeats his enemy with having to throw a single punchsounds based to me. thats some sun tzu shit
I bet all the catholic priests in the room were happy.
>>214514160Taking your shirt of is an immediate tension escalation moment. You unintentionally told the guy you were willing to throw down and he folded, thus you won.
>>214514160I was obsessed with Terminator and The Matrix as a teenager and would imitate being an agent or terminator, moving very deliberately and mechanically and speaking slowly. I did this at home, at school, everywhere. I'm sure other kids thought I was retarded or something
>>214514332...........................Yes
>>214514160>watch apocalypse now>grab a bowl of water and pretend i'm Colonel Kurz
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXY’S MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT
>>214514358A crummy bowl of water?
>>214514261At least he didn't get the local pastor to rat you out to the FBI.
>>214514332Kek
>>214514160Supremely based
>>214514363I do this and look like this and sound like this
>>214514160i made a knife in metal shop and stabbed a brown kid that pushed me. he deserved it.
>>214514160>8th grade, Jackass 3.5 just released >arguing with faggot>says he's going to kick my ass>friends hype me up to go fight him>go to the front gate of the school to drop my backpack off>thinking of how to start the fight off, because he's with his group of friends and I'm with mine, so its not going to be fair anyway>remember the drop kick from Jackass 3.5>friends and I run back to the faggot>I immediately jump into the drop kick>left foot hits his shoulder, right foot BARELY hits his head>he goes flying into the wall they were standing by>he falls, starts crying>his friends don't fight back>my friends and I laugh and walk away>it was the end of the school day, so we went home>next day we get sent to the principal's office >lie and say they started the fight>one of my friend's mom was a counselor at the school and her son backed up the "self defense" claim>we get let off begrudgingly with a warningThat one friend was nice to have because this was around the start of the "zero tolerance" policy on fights in schools, so we all got out of trouble a lot because of that connection.It wasn't as clean as Dave's kick, but it was better than Bam's.https://youtu.be/Lkb2utq8uZc
>>214514332>thought I was retardedAnon, you are.
>>214514551>sucker kick a unprepared defenceless kid from behind.ok, psycho. why are you bragging about acting like a little bitch?
I crane kicked my bully thanks to The Karate Kid
>>214514445No you don't you don't and you don't.
>>214514613Hi, Mason! Did you like my foot in your mouth, and how Alex, Lance, and Dylan got away with it?
>>214514160Ever since Twin Peak the Return, I twiddle my fingers at automatic doors as if I'm commanding them to open when I approach
>>214514613>redditspacing
>>214514613>t. KidHonestly everyone in the story sounds like a useless fag, I'm glad everyday I wasn't an anglo
>be me 9th grade >watch mrs doubtfire bathroom scene >something inside me snaps >robin williams covered in cake yelling in that voice >realize this is what it means to be free >next week start sneaking into school bathrooms in disguise >introduce myself to freshmen as "Euphegenia" >teachers think it’s a bit >guidance counselor calls my parents because I won’t break character >start writing essays about "bathroom rights" before I even knew what politics was >parents think I’m just obsessed with cross-dressing >really I was on the frontlines of trans rights >all because of one pie-smeared bathroom scene
>>214514702>he doesn't use the force
>>214514160>love the movie Troy>especially the boat landing >pic related made some sort of impact on me because I can never get it out of my head>whenever I drive and see some yahoo speeding down the road recklessly swerving all over the road, I say “the man wants to die”.>I say it out loud but nobody ever gets the reference
On my first job, when clients would call I would answer the phone with a commanding presence and say "Speak." Also tried smoking for a bit and held the cigarette like he does. Overly-cursed, etc. Got a verbal warning for it and had to stop.
I acted like a contrarian asshole for years because of Curb, and lost all my teenage friends. I didnt really like them that much anyway hence speaking down to them like Larry.
>>214514986I replay the mildest cringe shit over and over in my head. An average day in a Curb episode would be a genuine nightmare for me
Everytime I pick up a phone I say>Speakand nothing else, I also hang up without saying nothing
>>214514160This is you dudehttps://youtu.be/ZgQ9gzredf0?si=sKb0lFTuzSt8navf
>>214514160I called a product owner a nigger in a teams meeting. got a verbal warning and told not to use "that word" at work because it "can be offensive"
>>214514261Good for him. He was just trying to get the roads safe from negligent drivers.
>>214514160>be me>8 y/o kid growing up in a working class Minneapolis suburb>very few frens, very lonely as a kid (still am)>picrel comes out>movie about a lonely, nerdy girl from Minnesota and her parrot who are whisked away from Moose Lake (movie is an accurate depiction of the town, which is a frozen albeit comfy town south of Duluth) on a wacky adventure in Rio De Janeiro>become obsessed with Brazil, see it as this bizarre, tropical thirdie fairytale land>tell my school I'm moving to Brazil as a stunt for attention>never was moving, so I just looked like a retard and an attention whore>was obsessed with Brazil and tropical stuff from about 2011-16>finally came crashing down when Brazil hosted the Olympics and you could see on full display just how much of a rotten shithole it really was>to this day still have an interest and soft spot for the country despite knowing full well how shitty it is>https://youtu.be/k0ynTKJZirg?si=BYgxA-FTls93nXJm
wasn't from a movie but>beta in middle school and getting bullied by someone in the locker room everyday>finally have had enough>autistically use the move Luigi uses where he hits people with his fingers straight out in Smash Bros Melee right under his ribs a few times>"Ow! Fuck! Stop it!">didn't even really hurt him and doubt it even bruised but he left me alone afterwardshe was tougher than me so if he wanted to fight I would've been in deep shit
>Be middle school autist>Love war movies but would never join the military because I'm way too pussy and Iraq war was in full swing>Thought the backpack radios were super cool>Had one of those rolling backpacks with the luggage handle>Would always extend the handle and wear it on my back so I could pretend I had an old-timey radio>One day I'm walking home with my "antenna" up>School bus full of kids drives by>They start pointing and laughing>Get down on one knee and call in their coordinates>Artillery strike hits the bus>They all explodeThat'll show em
>>214515227The Luigi Trowel Stab (that's what it's called) always worked for me, you just have to aim for their liver and charge it up sufficiently
>>214515261klelk (kek and lel)
>>214515261Hey, I remember you! You were whispering into your Rambo Tiger Electronics game and smiling like a psycho! Then you ran to your trailer.
>>214514160I always try and do the cocky Tom Cruise smile. Autism is a curse >:D
>>214514389What, you expected him to grab a Pokemon creature?
>>214514551based
After I saw Anaconda I kept trying to squeeze my friends and swallow them whole.
>>214514551Based remorseless dropkicker.
>watch movie>repeat lines from the movie for weeks>my friends think I have autism>watch Django Unchained>cant stop staying "Who's that nigger up on that naaaaag!" "That theres Django, he's a free man">say it everywhere including work and at bars>I just say I have Tourettes if questionedThis is probably the worst line i've been stuck on for a while, usually it's nothing bad lol
>>214515227Better than using Luigi’s dash attack.
>>214514160I do the paulie walnuts hand gestures.for some reason it works and people are way more likely to agree with me when I do that.
>>214516470Pauliemaxxing literally changed my life.
>>214516564I never considered doing this but it just might work
shadowboxing
>>214516564Do you also live in a dilapidated strip mall and sleep on a plastic folding table?
>>214514160You won.
>>214516711I did this outside of the class of the nerd I used to bully
>>214516959deffo looked autistic
>>214514160After watching some Kevin Smith movies I decided to become a selective mute for a few months.I reasoned that people would think I was a cool philosopher like Silent Bob, and that when I did talk, which I set a limit to myself of doing only once per week, people would hang on my every word. People would lap up my profound utterances and listen in awe and wonderment when the time came for "Silent Roger" to speak.It did not work out.The first week I wasted my talking while ordering fish and chips, I had forgotten to bring my pad of paper with me to write my order on it. The second week I wasted it swearing after tripping up in the street. The third week I accidentally said "thank you" when they gave me my change when I bought fish and chips again (it was only a penny too). The 4th week my girlfriend demanded to know what the fuck was going on. You get the picture. Long and short of it was it was about 3 months in before I could say anything profound, and when I did nobody heard it and I couldn't repeat it because I had just used that week's allocated talking to say it the first time.I gave up. Sometimes it is best to leave that sort of thing to the professionals.
>>214517495that's probably the gayest thing i've ever read
>>214517525Nope, I literally had a girlfriend. She had boobs and everything.
>>214517588>She had boobs and everything.what happened to them?
>>214517495This sounds retarded but you really should thank your lucky stars you aren't a quiet autist. I'm one and it fucking sucks.
>>214514160Whenever I get the chance I'll use this line from Under Siege 2:>That's what I hear. Mostly from you. But that's what I hear.
I was working myself up to go psycho on my HS bully. He was 6 feet and heavy but I also had been raging about him in my mind for months so I had that on my side plus he was a literal dork. Ended up getting high at lunch and putting my hands on his smaller friend while he just stood gawking probably realizing I had become fucked in the head. That was the end thankfully
>went to Star Wars the Phantom Menace>I discovered the force was real>no one else felt what I felt>tried to convince my friend we can feel the forceBut after reading some of these posts, its not really that bad.
>>214517601She died. Hit by a car in the street. I would have shouted a warning to her, but I had already used that weeks talking telling a friend's dog that he was a good boy.Only joking, it was cancer.
>>214514160I wanted to buckbreak so I raped a black guy
>browse /tv/>see a lot of picrel>watch movie with her in it >theres boobs>find out she's trans>think I'm gay>start jacking it to traps>regret, now i'm confused
>>214518022>her>shesimply stop jerking off to trannies, faggot
>>214514160>be me at 11 years old>get in a spat with a shitty kid in my class and it gets a bit physical>he hits me first with a sucker kick to my nuts>try to hit him back but other kids grab me while I flip out>get sent to wait outside the hall in the office>start freaking out again like I'm naruto channeling the 9 tails fox>his friend walks by and says hi to him and I rage even harder building up my chakra>this was like 20 years ago
>>214514865How did the people on the phone react to that?
>>214518197>simply stop jerking off to tranniesat this point it has gone too far
>be me>pretty drunk at the bar with some friends>ditch my friends to sit at the downstairs bar alone and meet women>new personality just dropped>start acting like Michael Keaton's Bruce Wayne, mannerisms and all>even try to do the eyebrow thing Keaton does>probably look like a fucking maniac>a 9/10 sits next to me and starts chatting>still manage to fuck it up because I'm an awkward sperg>she eventually gets up an walks away>I'm Batman
Although not 100% a movie, I was so obsessed with dale cooper that I tried to impersonate his personality because I was tired of being depressed and moody. Three different people asked if I worked was a boy scout.
>>214518618repent and it will be fine
>>214514160Based sperg
Not from a movie, but I do the Paulie point because of the Sopranos.
>>214518620Thats funny. Thanks for the laugh.
>>214518618Use futas as an off-ramp, then pegging, then straight anal, and then finally normal sex with women.
>>214514160I saw a kid do that once, but he was a fat fuck so it was more funny than badass
>>214514261kek
>>214514160ROAD HOUSE, knocked the fuck out of 2 krusty's
>>214514160>be me in highschool>watch the Korean film Oldboy (2003), it becomes my favourite film for a while>one night go out with my friends, some of them are singing loudly on the street>one guy from a balcony hears this, tells my friends to shut the fuck up>there is a some back and forth, tells us he's coming for us, hear him go inside his home and slam his balcony's door>my friends start running, me and another friend keep walking nonchalantly>slightly later hear someone shout from behind us>it was the guy from the balcony, he is carrying something like a bat and walking towards us>the friend that was beside me (stupidly) tries to approach him and resolve the situation diplomatically>the guy swings his bat at friend's face, barely misses him but knocks away friend's glasses>I realize my friend can't fight without his glasses so I immediately punch the guy in the face>guy is stunned for a second, then swings his bat at me>at this split second, I remember the hall fight from Oldboy>remember how Oh Dae-su uses his forearm to guard against the goons that attack at him with wooden sticks>immediately raise my forearm to guard against the bat which is coming towards my face>the bat connects to my forearm and bends - it was made from some kind of hard plastic - and guy is again stunned, he didn't expect this>seize the opportunity to take his bat away>proceed to fistfight 1v1 for a couple of minutes>my friends never jump him>get pretty fucked up lol
>>214514261holy based
>>214514307good one, Seth, you got us
>>214514160Unironicaly taking your shirt off is a pretty good advice in a fight
>>214520479i take everything off. easier to fuck them after i've knocked them out
>>214518620kek
>>214515338haha yeah I was super cringe back in middle schoolby the way, what are your exact GPS coordinates right now?
>>214520644kek
Loved the original superman movie as a kid. Used to use the phrases gee and swell in sentences thinking girls would be charmed. They werent.
>>214514986>hey Skylar>hey what>we found out your entire personality comes from this old Jews show>N-n-aaah>Clip on their phone shows Larry David and Anon spliced together>They both go wahaHAHhHhhhh???>Come on man lets get out of here this guys a loser>Anon: LARRY DAVID IS A BRILLIANT COMEDIAAAAAAAAAN!!!!>Anon grabs phone and gets his favorite songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1o3koTLWM&list=RDAg1o3koTLWM&start_radio=1>
>>214515261epic
When I was 5 I accidentally swallowed a marble while trying to imitate the scene from The Last Dragon where Bruce Leroy catches a bullet with his teeth. I eventually pooped it out although it took longer than expected and my mom was getting worried.
>>214520267>my friends never jump him>get pretty fucked up lolfucked, lol. that sucks anonman this is a great thread, I'm saving this one as a PDF
>>214521187I fucking love youtube.
>>214516462LMFAO
>>214514551You said he was a faggot but was he a bully / stronger than you, or just a person you didn't like?Also, skin tones of everyone involved?
>>214522140??
>>214521187kek
>>214521926yeah we were young and we hadn't gotten into a fight beforeI also later realized that had the bat been from a stronger material, my arm would have been broken when I defended against it
>>214516711One of my best friends does this to me and we both chuckle afterwards. It's one of his weird ways of saying hello. He played as a rogue in WoW so he always tries to "DPS" me.
>>214514160>Bully is too weirded out to fight.My entire childhood/teenage years.
