https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az8M5Mai0X4
>>214582656I should definitely be a writer. I can think up tons of things as unfunny as this.
>>214582656These xoomers should step aside and let the younger generation have a chance at starring in movies
>>214582656>the only shot of Daniela Melchior in the trailerGuess her role is tiny. I was hoping she'd be in some sexy jungle attire.
More remakes, this time disguised as meta shit, starring 50 year old has beens. Hollywood is so finished.
>>214582656Jack Black is unbearable.
>>214582656Is that really the poster.
>>214582656MY ANACONDA
>>214582656
>>214584445Kek honestly they should lean into this type of marketing for this movie
>>214584445
>>214584965lol
>it's a comedyVore bros.. not like this..
Will this movie be banned in Australia?
>>214585018Just make a slightly feminine anaconda and I'm in
Ice Cube and/or Jennifer Lopez need to show at the end
>>214582656What an extremely gay twist to what the actual movie is. What's cancerous is that when the old jew Hollywood boomer executives die, the DEI hires of trannies and black women will overtake them, so its going to get even worse lmao
>>214585298should have just brought them back for a serious sequel lol both still have some star power though ice cube with his amazon movie might have lessened that
Saw this a month ago at a test screening, crazy how much they spoiled in this trailer. This is the whole movie basically aside from the final set piece
>>214585332How much is Daniela Melchior in this? It will affect my decision whether or not to watch it.
imagine a kingdom of heaven remake with the same comic tone
>>214582656I thought the poster was an AI meme when i first saw it
>>214585352Not much. They meet her after they get to filming location. She’s a surprise villain who gets eaten midway through
>>214585377Unironically this is probably the future of remakes, self-aware genre change
>>214585406Bah. I'll skip it then.
>>214582656woof
It’s just Tropic Thunder x Jumanji Reboot + Ant Man
>>214582656Unironically hype that looks hilarious. I denounce the talmud btw.
>Selton Mello disappears after the first few scenes of the trailerOh, he dies super early then... Brazil bros, not like this.
>>214582656What…What am I watching here?What’s going on in this trailer?
>>214582656>rebootThey're playing the same characters that were in the original? Or is it the same snake???
>>214585938He dies in this trailer. That’s his body hitting the windshield
>>214585406Is that her? >>214583122
>>214586414Yes
>>214585406>She’s a surprise villain who gets eaten midway throughI will now watch your movie
>>214582656Those aren't anaconda scale patterns
>>214584445thanks, now I know what jack black's orgasm face is
>>214585624Why won't Hollywood hire her for anything substantial? She's been in just junk lately.
>>214586917Bro she sucked off James Gunn for a role, she can't act
>read Ruimy bemoaning how terrible this looks>watch the trailer>looks comfy afSome people really need to be less snobbish
>>214582656This looks fun and its not even an actual remake, screw you guys
>>214586961I've seen her in several things and she's perfectly good, very charming on screen. I've seen you do this shit with a few hot actresses now where you just claim they must be bad at acting just because they're hot. Very suspicious narrative.
>>214585330>serious sequelSincerity is anathema to Gen X and Millennial hacks masquerading as writers.
>>214585976wait, she's a medieval boy now?
>>214586961yeah she can
>>214585406If this is a lie I'll be very upset
>>214585330>seriousThe original was a complete farce
>>214586917Her voice doesn't fit her youth or looks at all. She sounds like a 50 year old Portuguese grandma
>>214588257>>214586961These replies are stupid because there are a variety of bad actresses and actresses with bad voices who are pushed heavily in Hollywood, so it wouldn't explain why she isn't, even if they were true, which they aren't.
>>214588248It was schlockino
ANACONDA JOCKEY
Oh.
>>214588586>a variety of bad actresses and actresses with bad voices who are pushed heavily in HollywoodThey sucked a producer's dick>so it wouldn't explain why she isn'tShe got famous enough to be satisfied as an instagram model instead of sucking producer duck
>>214590436>>214586961You're trying too hard.
>>214582656Who says fat, ugly talentless hacks can't make it in Hollyweird. Just have to be a black woman or a Jew.
>>214585910>unironically hypeShut the fuck up zoomerfaggot
>>214582656Can't be any worse than The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Fuck that was a terrible movie.
>>214586961she's fine she's just too good looking to be a leading lady because roasties seethe
>>214582656bros is jablinski really dying midway through the movie?
>>214588896>ANACONDA JOCKEYCame here for this
>>214582656What are those comments?>This looks like a freakin epic 2000s comedy! Shut up and take my money!!The NPC meme is real.
>>214586961thisi hate brown lana rhodes and her boring simps who post her stupid lame instagram bullshitKILL YOURSELF LOSER I HATE YOU
>>214590465no argumentshe sucksnta btw you're just a sissy bitchmade simp cuck loser and a flat brown feminist waifu who cant act
>>214582656Sorny??
>>214591076They rebranded Columbia to Sony. I wonder if it's helped them sell any more Trinitrons.
>>214590599Quiet, boomer.
>>214586961what have you seen her in?
>>214591064>>214591037Random meltdown
>>2145844453ANNAC, the hottest slavic movie of the year
>>214582656Well shit, probably the most creative thing they could do with the franchise right now. You know a serious remake right now would probably be awful. Only way it could work is if a spic did it.
>>214591184its not random you actual literal retardshes in this shitty movie?its being talked about itt?you simp for heri hate simps for hagskill, your, self
>>214591184I knew that dude that obsessively brings up the pornstar was seething, no one is that 24/7 about something they like
>>214582656Seems rather obnoxious.
>>214594088>if i reply to myself she wont be a knock off of a pornthotif you're her agent i feel bad for her
The original was garbage.
>>214583122>movie set in Brazil>hires a portuguese actress>it's just a cameoAmericans everybody
>>214597074Brazil was a colony of Portugal and they still speak Portuguese over there, dumbass.
>>214597537I'm brazilian, after 500 years apart our "portuguese" barely resembles what they talk in Portugal, it's worse than USA vs UK. And the actor playing the snake handler is Selton Mello, a brazilian actor.This is like making a movie in Mexico and hiring a spanish actress to play a mexican, they also barely speak the same kind of spanish after so many centuries.
>>214597729>hiring a spanish actress to play a mexicanThey do that a lot though. Antonio Banderas has played Mexicans many times.
>>214598625literally ugly lana rhodes but with less personality and talent
So we already know that Jack Black dies in that scene from the trailer because there is no way he can escape that.
>>214597729>they also barely speak the same kind of spanish after so many centuriesWe speak the same language with different accents
>>214583145Jesus christ, this. This never would've flown 15 years ago. This is just embarrassing.
>>214582656They're trying too hard to be Tropic Thunder with the meta shit.Not everyone can be Ben Stiller and kino RDJ.Funny that Jack Black was also in TT.
>>214596263>>214594019>>214591037>>214591064>>214598685You alright there anon? You seem a little worked up.
>>214599716Yeap, I caught that too. It can work but by the trailer I can't see it, there wasn't a single good joke here.
I don't get it.
>>214599911Sex? We know
>>214599846>there wasn't a single good joke hereOh yeah absolutely.I didn't laugh either. I think the intent is trying to make a sequel to the original movie, and doing it as if it were TT in 2025, but so far it fails in every way trying to be funny.And as >>214585332 said they pretty much spoiled the whole story in this trailer to try and manufacture some hype for this movie.I guess we'll see the final product but so far I'm not really confident the movie can deliver on all those promises.After all, this is Sony behind it.
>>214582656This is unironically the worst thing I have ever seen.
>>214582656Does a woman get vored on screen in the movie? Or is it the same as other mainstream monster movie and they only show a guy getting eaten alive?
>>214582656Jack Black?guaranteed to shit gold like the Minecraft movie and the Mario movie
Snack BLack
>>214582656thindiwe newton looks like a shrunken voodoo doll
>>214584445Based
>>214598625she cute
they still make comedy moobies?
>>214597729They can just do an accent. Like British actors doing American characters.
>>214582656>Be Kind, Rewind 2
>>214582656I actually liked the Anaconda movies as horror movies and then later on the cheap pulp thrillers they evolved into
>>214582656Zero appeal.
>>214582656I thought it looked funny :), I might watch (pirate) it when it comes out hehe
>>214582656>Christmas release date.Imagine getting mogged by not only Avatar 3, but also Spongebob, Wicked singalongs, and A24 slop.
'CONDA?
>>214585406If an anaconda ate someone, wouldn't it be good for like a month? I feel like that solves the movie
>>214590904If it was a real early 2000s comedy movie it would have naked women on it
is there a genuine audiance for the original anaconda? doesn't it suck?
