What am I in for?
45 minutes of a good movie then some bullshit with a cop chasing a junkie and then a witch in a dark house where you can't see what's happening
first act good2nd act last shite
A great premise ruined by everything that follows.
it's greatcould've been better without random bits of comedy
What's with the modern obsession of turning "horror" films into comedies in the final act? It's like the filmmakers feel what they're writing is cringeworthy, and then try to cope by going for laughs.
>>214674457western media has no soul
>>214674457>It's like the filmmakers feel what they're writing is cringeworthy, and then try to cope by going for laughs.A lot of it can be traced to comedy movies dying. Comedy writers switched to writing satirical horror/thriller scripts instead.
>>214674457Name 5 other recent horror movies that have done it
>>214674644BarbarianXPearlMaXXXineLonglegsThe Woman in the YardLate Night with the DevilNosferatuBring Her BackThe SubstanceSmile 2Him
>>214674457It was a comedy from the moment they started Naruto running. So fucking goofy.
>>214675272they do run faster like this tho
>>214674457It was a comedy throughout, you're just too much of a dingus to realise. Probably an American who can't recognise comedy unless it's really loud.
>>214675356lil bro thought that dogshit was funny
>>214675387>lil broAmerican zoomer, yeah no wonder you didn't think it was funny.
>>214675428lil bro laughing at american millennial comedy
>>214674245I wasn't even able to watch it all. Bailed halfway through, so boring
>>214675356>it doesn't need to be scary>it doesn't need to be a horror film
>>214675769>it doesn't need to be interesting>it doesn't need to be satisfying>it doesn't need to be funnyah yes, great movie, us plebs were just too dumb to understand it
>>214674245just watch sleepwalkers or barbarian instead.
>>214674354welcome to tv and movies made in the 2000s
What was the witch's plan? She didn't do shit with any of them, I guess she wanted to suck the life out of them or something but then why didn't she just bail after getting the children
>>214674245its a 2-hour long wkuk sketch
>>214675272Thats not how naruto running looks like normie fag
>>214677394Because she was sucking the life out of them, I guess.
>>214677394She was gonna pack up and leave the next day at the end
That alcpholic cop totally gave the teacher AIDS
>>214674245A good movie.
>>214674457The kids should've never came back while big bad died with the secret after being brutally killed by the father. Maybe ten minutes of a montage where the parents lives are destroyed by the trauma have one of them suicide. The kid that live gets ostracized by the townies and becomes an addict.
>>214674245Hamfisted School Shooting commentaryBut actually an enjoyable flick
>>214677427based NaruGOD
FACT: Aunt Gladys represents satanic discord troons who groom and blackmail kids into becoming school shooters.
female lead is such an unlikable cunt and I'm only 15 minutes in
>>214678766Julia is cute
>>214678766Nah, she's fine. I was prepared to skip this simply based on how unlikeable her character was on Ozark but it was OK. I just wish she would ditch that hideous "blonde" dyejob, even if it's in-character for trailer trash.
>>214678813>>214678909No, she's a total cunt and an awful person. In just glad she get the HIV from the cop>>214678766Don't worry. The movie is shot in different perspectives, it switches to other characters and she's barely seen after the first 20 minutes
>>214674245Open homosexuals as school administrators. Apparently they eat children's breakfast cereal as part of their pedophilic fetish. It's pretty extreme for a horror movie, but just keep reminding yourself that nothing like this could ever be allowed in real life.
>>214674245>What am I in for?A good horror thriller that goes to shit in the last 20 minutes, turning into an unintentional comedy.
>>214679120this
>>214677812>Aunt Gladys represents satanic discord troonsSomeone posted a pic of him on /tv/ without context, and I assumed it was from the latest season of "American Horror Story: Children Can Consent to Human Centipede".
just got to the crackhead POV and this movie sucks assthere's been 10 minutes of content stretched put over 40
movie was fucking god awful
>peter weller outrunning all those kidsmost unbelievable part
>>214679161>unintentional
>>214679161it went to shit when the different POVs started and they were going over the same story beats multiple timesit was a 30 minute tales from the darkside episode stretched out over 2 hours
>>214680199>they were going over the same story beats multiple timesGen Z needs repetitive information every few minutes to keep their attention, otherwise they'll lose focus. Modern filmmakers figured this out years ago, which is why you'll be getting more of this in the near future.
>>214680199it went to shit with the witchcraft revealand then there was another hour of movie left
>>214674245Wong not being able to fortify his mind against a witch. Again.
>>214675207I agree about Weapons because my normie relative thought it was a laugh riot, but I wonder about some of your other picks. What was funny about Bring Her Back for example? Everything I remember about that movie was misery.
>>214675207>barbarian>looney tunes ending
>witchcraft out of nowhere
>>214680098>peter weller outrunning all those kidskek
normally i like this form of disjointed storytelling and i was pretty excited when it started with justine, but we just didn't really get any meaningful information from all the included characters. it was largely just an excuse to to see how the cop and the druggie end up in alex's house so there are adults that can fight in the final sequence. justine, the detective, the principal and then eventually alex would've been great on their own. or even dropping the principal and throwing his part into a gladys section. but cregger was too hung up on his addiction themes that nobody cared about to make a solid movie. same shit with barbarian. he needs a tard wrangler.
>>214681940>we needed to see that entire phone conversation in the supermakret from the principals POV>we needed to see the principal naruto run across town and the entire struggle again>we needed to see the kid's entire walk to the store to buy soup, then watch him feed each individual classmate>we needed to see any of the cop and crackhead scenes
>>214681940>so there are adults that can fight in the final sequenceshe had the parents
>>214677394She was sucking the life out of them. Moving the children would have been a risk, so she planned to lay low for a while and regain her strength. When the heat got too high she planned to skip town.
>>214674245A cool mood to this at the beginning but becomes a massive cliched bore
>>214682514good thing they showed him running there otherwise we would've never known how he got there when we saw him running from her perspective
>>214682495>She was sucking the life out of them.Sure didn't seem like it.
>>214677394i think the assumption was for her to suck the life out of them.
>>214682647she outran them for hundreds of yards across the neighborhood
Apparently, CCTV footage doesn't exist in this movie reality. Apparently, everybody in that place sleeps before 2 AM. Apparently, the neighbors didn't realize/hear 30 kids entering the house next door at 2 AM.The premise of this movie is absolutely retarded. It would have been more honest to say the kids were sucked into a parallel dimension while sleeping or something than the explanation they provided.
>>214681371>out of nowhereDid you really not see it coming?I mean it was immediately obvious to me that it was some form of mind control.All the kids at the same moment, running the same way, not using main roads, clearly running in a straight line towards a target.And then they painted WITCH on the woman's car. Honestly I felt like that was too much of a giveaway. Should have left more to the imagination, but I guess they were afraid low IQ viewers wouldn't get it unless they spelled it out in giant red letters.And when they stole some of her hair, that was the clincher.
>>214682647Did you not notice that she went from bald and dying to having her hair growing back at the end?
>>214682674a cop on duty goes missing and no one notices a cop car just parked there
>>214682674Yeah it's stupid that they had doorbell cam footage from the victims, but nobody else was like, "Hey, I checked my doorbell cam and saw the kids running this way. Money please."With a few of those it should have been easy to track them to the house of the one surviving kid who was already a suspect.Hell, they should have been able to figure it out just from the victim's footage like Thanos did. Would have been even more effective since they had access to all the footage.But cops are stupid I guess.
>>214682872Cop cars all have trackers in them too.
>>214680098lmao Anon, you must suspend your disbelief!
>>214682777She clearly had the same amount of hair before the children were kidnapped, as you can see here. She just had it tied in these thin braids.
>>214682872was also right after they got a tip about meeting someone that knew about the location of a bunch of the kids
>>214682877One thing I've noticed is that the existence of technology seems to be ruining suspense stories, or at least making them much harder to write because the writer needs an excuse for its absence. For example, you have a serial killer on the loose, and everyone in our remote cabin has conveniently forgotten to charge their phones, or, conveniently, there is no phone service in that area – which, with some phones now having satellite SOS capabilities, is becoming an increasingly rare occurrence.
Weapons
>>214682514Why were his eyes bulging out that didn’t happen to anyone else who got hexed
>>214682673So they didn’t have enough life to run fast but they had enough life to rip a person apart with their bare hands
I liked how the Witch wasn't worshiping satan or anything.She wasn't evil for the sake of being evil. She was just prolonging her life.And her magic was well portrayed. It was mysterious, but it had simple rules that were easy to follow.When she says, "don't step over the salt" you immediately understand what will happen.She felt like she was just a normal person with access to some magical knowledge rather than some kind of demonic entity like you usually see in horror films.
>>214683462That's just what Asian people look like, chud
>>214683102Probably the only good excuse for nostalgia bait. For horror especially, it's usually a lot better to just set it back in time.
>>214683462Maybe it happened when he headbutted a dude to death. Fucked up his eyes.
>no one thinks to check if kids ran off in a similar direction until thanos does days/weeks/months later>dogs somehow couldn't pick up the scent of any of the 20 kids that went missing
>>214674245>What am I in for?an okay movie. Drags a bit in the middle, but I liked the scene at the end
>>214674245>What am I in for?well, what did you think?
>>214675356you wake up and think of americans
>>214674245>What am I in for?a comedy
>>214674245A pretty solid horror movie with comedy elements, really refreshing it doesn't try to be pretentious, just spooky shit first and foremost
>>214674245Lots of product placements
