HOWEVER 6 MILLION POINTS TO HARRY POTTER AND HIS FRIENDS
>>214707988This still pisses me off to this day. If Dumbledore knew he was going to rig the win for Gryffindor last second, why bother putting up the Slytherin banners at the end of year feast in the first place? He crushed the dreams and ambitions of every Slytherin student when he gave the win to Gryffindor. He taught them there's no point playing fair because they were going to get screwed over by the system no matter what they did.
Fuck Slytherin
>>214708383The movies don't show this, but Snape was also giving Slytherin points for any reason just to own Griffindor, so Dumbledore was just correcting the scale.
Where's the "gas Slytherin" vocaroo?
>>214708605wat did u say, laddie?
>>214708713Snape was only doing that because he knew how rigged the system was against Slytherin
>>214708713doing a relisten of the books and mcgonagall does the same at the end of book 5
>>214709088WHAT A LIFE
Me? I don't need this shit. I am reality.
>for slytherins excellent conduct this year I award them 1 point for every jew that died in the holocaust!>*winks at the camera*
>>214708713he was just pretending to be an asshole to kids so the death eaters would trust himwhat a hero
>and finally, to Dingus Bungfungledorf of hufflepuff I award 5 points, for his astonishing brilliance in not defecating in his robes for three entire days in a row>truly he is an inspiration to his house>this brings hufflepuffs score to... 5 points
>>214708975Slytherin won the thing 7 years in a row before Philosopher's Stone.>>214708383To make it a funny story of good prevailing over evil at the last moment in a children's novel.
>>214708713>The movies don't show thisTHEN IT'S NOT A PART OF THE FILM'S STORY. I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS IN THE BOOK, IF IT'S NOT IN THE FILM, THEN IT DOESN'T COUNT.
>>214707988umm dumbledore, why can the door to the slytherin house quarters only be opened from the outside?
>>214709105What did Albdolph Dumbleditler mbt?
>>214708730https://vocaroo.com/nUt57wURU0C
>>214708383Maybe they should have saved the school every year if they wanted to win.
>>214709396Very funny but the censored text is pussy shit.
>>214709379LMAOAOAOAO
>>214709345Retard
>>214709105?
>>214710468ZERO POINTS
>>214707988This is same thread with harry potter gandalf as created yesterday, probably bot thread! Be cautious
>>214707988Why did Ravenclaw and the other house celebrate Slytherin's defeat? Are they all sociopaths?
Sex with Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven WayUnironically
>>214709105600 billion?
>>214710041nothing retarded about judging the movie by itself. can't excuse yourself with the source if you didn't bother to adapt those details
>mfw the dullest franchise poster never shows up anymore
>>214711351He's just stretching his legs anon, he'll be back soon.
>>214711172>she smelled at me>and i smelled back
>>214708383However, fuck Slytherin.
>>214709116Nah he just was an asshole.
>>214709097That was to balance the inquisitorial squad’s faggotry
>83 OCTODECILLION POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN YOU WORTHLESS GREEN DEGENERATES. NO I SHAN’T GIVE A REASON, FUCK ALL OF YOU FOR ASKINGDumbledore screamed calmly
>>214708713Doesn't that just show that the system is stupidly flawed? If a teacher is associated with one house and can give away points indiscriminately to those students, then what's the point?
>>214709252Lel
I’ve barely seen Harry Potter, but is this accurate?Griffyndor: good two-shoes dweebs, main character syndrome, sanctimoniousHufflepuff: Beta c.uckolds, losers, autistic people, soiboisRavenclaw: annoying, safe-edgy, posers, degenerates Slytherin: edgelords, contrarians, chuddies, douchebags
>>214708383>Waaa how dare you give points to the students defending the school and the world with their lifes by applying what we taught them thats so unfair
>>214712286Puff and Claw are such non entities that they might as well just have two houses in the books.
>>214712286Autism incarnate Luna Lovegood is in Ravenclaw
and then suddenly one day...for no reason at all
>>214708383guy the gryffindor kids are constantly thwarting the dark lord, slytherin nerds are just answering questions correctly and showing up on time
Why did JK make him a faggot?
>>214711288>I don't know how to read: the post
>>214709088zesty
>HOWEVER 6 MILLION POINTS TO HARRY POTTER AND HIS FRIENDS
>>214711351I miss when we had proper ritual posters rather than the lazy, low effort faggot we’ve got nowadays
>>214713715Like all women who get power, they resent powerful men
>>214712200because who caresit's school spirit faggotry
>>214714002King.
>>214708383It also pisses me off greatly, like a lot of things in Harry Potter. I think I know why though, I was there when the first book got released, Harry Potter was supposed to be much more lighthearted than it came to be.It was even close to Brittish absurd humor, like Hitchhiker's, Doctor Who, Discworld, slightly Monty Python Tom Bombadil type of thing. Dumbledore is mostly oblivious about what's going on around him, saving his insights for criptic moments and reveals. Slytherin losing every time because Dumbledore is a silly unfair wizard wearing a robe should be seen like Coyote's losing to Roadrunner every single time because his ACME harpoon gun failed. Same thing for the absurd Quidditch rules, or the light hearted curiosity the Weasleys have with muggle things. Those things came with the first book, before the HP world was conceived and then made into something serious, pretending to be more logical than it really is.
is there a neutral review board that oversees point distritution? it seems anyone can just claim any amount for whatever
>>214714752They were closed down due to budget cuts after Fudge's disatrous tax policy
>"EXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE!" Kreia shook the Ebon Hawk as she calmly scolded the Exile through the force>"DID YOU PUT 5 CREDITS INTO THE GOBLET OF HOMELESSNESS?" Kreia's query splitting the Exile's brain into pieces>"It may help him - if nothing else but to survi-" The Exile mentally stammered in response>"AND WHAT IF BY SURVIVING HE BRINGS A GREATER DARKNESS UPON ANOTHER?!" Kreia bellowed with a gentleness greater than the detonation of the Mass Shadow Generator>"And what if it doesen't?" The Exile meekly replied as he collapsed to the floor>"THE FORCE BINDS ALL THINGS,THE SMALLEST TOUCH SENDS ECHOES THROUGH THE FORCE, EVEN AN ACT OF KINDNESS HAS MORE SEVER REPRECUSSIONS THAN YOU KNOW! BY GIVING HIM WHAT HE HAS NOT EARNED ALL YOU HAVE HELPED HIM BECOME IS ANOTHER TARGET, AND IN THE END ALL YOU WILL HAVE WROUGHT IS MORE PAIN! THAT IS MY LESSON TO YOU" Kreia's tender tutoring giving the Exile an aneurism>" I will consider what you have said." The Exile gasped as he jammed a life support pack into himself>"That is all I ask." Kreia said as she gave another 50 influence points to Jedi Jesus
this doesn't even make sense jeetphile
>>214708383Slytherin was set up to radicalize the incel wizards in a controlled environment. We ought to be taking lessons from it.
>>214709088>>214709099CHECKED'D
>>214709396>FaceBook Why is every website outside of the chan sphere filled with pussies? The entire text was about violence towards a young boy and they censored words like boy despite it being clear from the very beginning that these are kidsIf these whining faggots have to repost they should do the unedited version or non at all instead of pretending that disapprove at this text despite them finding it clearly funny to repost in the first place Normies are dishonest
>>214712286Sorta, but my take>Gryffindor: main characters, good guys, super brave and courageous and stuff>Slytherin: Bad guys, jerks, nepo babies and assholesAnd then the two unimportant houses>Ravenclaw: nerds and autists but not assholes>Hufflepuff: the ones that aren't particularly smart or brave or ambitious but they're kinda bros alsoI don't think Rowling gave too much thought to the latter two houses. She tried to give them identity as the series went on but she didn't construct the delineation of the houses well in the first place
>>214708383Good, the little nazi wizards dont deserve to have dreams
>>214715342these copypastas are starting to read like fanfiction
>>214709603very funny but the 5:1 aspect ratio is unreadable shit
>>214709088COCK BLOCKED FROM MIX RACE LENGER
>>214716656Dumb phoneposter
>>214708383>>214708605incredible how they have a clearly, overtly evil 'house' and never dismantle it
>>214709327Slytherin won due to merit. The asspull points awarded to Neville were a travesty
>>214709428They followed the rules and the system punished them for it.
>>214717430Grow up
>>214715126Yeh no wonder every Slytherin goes darkside with the way hogwarts faculty treats them. Snape was the only one standing in the way of Slytherin students from getting completely shitted on and crushed by the other teachers.
>>214715883There's nothing wrong with wanting to preserve the sanctity of the pureblood race from halfbloods and squibs.
>>214717408Yes, perfect analogy, they needed to pay off the refs to win everything they did, Hermione's time Turner was a metaphor for Fergie time.
>>214712200But it was perfect world building to make a degenerate porn game out of
>>214715500it's not that the audience of those sites are pussies, it's the algorithm reading the text and seeing those specific words and blocking the post entirely. Blame advertisers for this faggotry.
>>214714522>>214714522 l feel like this is an undertalked about but actually somewhat realistic aspect of the movies if not the books.ln the books l think they have passing references to who wins the house cup up till they all leave hogwarts but in the movies they really forget about that shit pretty totally after Chamber.lt's realistic that in a school where you push together middle schoolers and highschoolers only the 11 and 12 year olds really give a fuck at all about who fucking wins the anual teachers pet award and also notice in the later movies you dont se the professors taking away points from houses for the way worse shit the kids get up to in the latter years.
>>214708383>>>>>>playing fairmoronic retard just kys
>>214712200The teachers should be above that, but Snape is a corrupt jew
>"HARRY MOTHERFUCKING POTTEEEEEEEEEEEER DID YOU TAKE A GIGANTIC SHIT AND TELEPORT IT ONTO DRACO'S PLAAAAAAAATE?">The entire hall stopped talking, an eerie silence stretching its legs through the vast space as Dumbledore finished bellowing calmly.>The headmaster's red face softened as he smiled.>"Because that's pretty fucking funny. I always knew those Slytherins had shit-eating grins. Well? Where are those pearly whites now, Slytherin? EAT THE TURDS YOU FUCKS! ONE BILLION POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN FOR EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T EAT LITERAL SHIT!">Gandalf clapped his hands twice, and in that moment, a fat log of turd appeared on every Slytherin's plate, sourced directly from the septic tank of the headmaster himself.>After an agonising hour, every plate was clean.>"Well done, Slytherin, you have shown great strength in the face of adversity. Five points to Slytherin," Dumbledore whispered with brute force.>He then stood up.>"And also five billion points for Gryffindor because I fucking said so."
>>214709088Menacing
>>214717430Harry and Draco’s sons are good Slytherins and Cedric would have become the first and only Death Eater Hufflepuff if he lived, Rowling truly thought of everything.
>>214708383Cause it was pretty funny.
>>214709116>Yes dad, Professor Snape took 20 points from Harry because he forgot his quill. He's truly the Dark Lord's most secret servant
>>214717794Stfu Gryffindor fag, your mom was a muggle whore
>>214715500All of these caps are unfunny facebook tier shit in the first placeThe question you should be asking is why is this faggot is saving caps of stuff from this board from facebook just how many tourists are behind this pleb slop? do we need /lit/ to come purge the board again?
>>214717820Snape is the bravest man Harry ever knew, a true hero on the inside
>>214709379never fails to make me laugh, amazing
>>214714690Yeah, a lot of HP problems came from needing to apply the childish logic of book 1 into a more toned down series from then on.
>>214714690The first two are essentially Dahl books.The dursleys are cartoonishly evil, the good guys are all good mostly on the inside, the put upon child gets whisked away to a magical and whimsical place, and the asshole kids all get their comeuppance in an ultimately harmless manner.
>>214714690>>214718553The power of editors. By the time she was writing Prisoner of Azkaban they were willing to give her more freedom.
>>214714002what is the potterjeet poster's endgame?
>>214708383Because slytherins are nazis, ok??
>>214708713>Any teacher can give out as many points as they want to any house for any reason What's the point of this retarded game then? It makes less sense than Quidditch, what is the takeaway supposed to be for any kid that isn't named Harry Potter? "No matter what you do, the rich kid will win for reasons you aren't even allowed to know"?
deh
>>214708383Skill issue Slythercels
dumbledor plan was to trap quirrell/voldemort in the room with the mirror, since they didnt use the potion, they couldn't walk back. you never thought it was weird that dumbledor left for the ministry on a broom? it was a bait for quirrell, making him believe he had the time to steal it. if harry didn't try to bust every rules, focused on school, all the next movies would have been prevented except for chamber of secret and azkaban
>>214707988>>214708383Do you even get anything for winning?
>>214719908book 1 really does read as a stand-alone, its tone and feel is definitely different to any after it.
>>214719908why didnt they use the quidditch stand tower to watch the people compete in the maze during the 3rd task? they preveted the student to do quidditch during that year for the maze, but if they dont need the quidditch stand tower, why didnt they make the maze inside the forbiden forest full of monster already.. its like jk rowling couldnt figure out a plan for moody while everyone watch, how hard would it have been for moody to be cloaked and using imperio on grum? why cant he do it if people watch?
>>214720056same for chamber of secret, even azkaban. they are book that can stand alone, they didnt need the rest of the series to even work, and they hardly revolve around voldemort
WHY DIDNT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM JOIN THE ORDER LIKE HIS PARENTS?WHY DIDNT NEVILLE KILL BELLATRIX INSTEAD OF KILLING THAT NAGINI (THAT WS DEAN JOB AND PURPOSE IN THE BOOK)WHY DID JK ROWLING CUT DEAN THOMAS PART AND GAVE THEM TO NEVILLE SO HE COULD "GLOWUP"WHY DOES JK ROWLING HATE DEAN THOMAS SO MUCH?WHY DID JK ROWLING TURN LAVENDER BROWN FROM A BLACK GIRL TO A WHITE GIRL?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=351Aa5q_S98
>>214719124Have other people post it the way the dullest franchise had multiple posters.It’s why he’s always late; he keeps hoping other people will take the mantle. It’s also why every so often he throws a tantrum in a thread.
>>214708383He was just giving them back the points that seething cuck Snape was handing out because he was butthurt Harrys mother didnt choose him (yes this is considered an emotionally stable man who can be trusted around children).
>>214719494Yes, thats what British children are unironically taught.
>ONE POINT TO GRYFFINDOR FOR EVERY JEW WHO DIED DURING THE HOLOCAUST>complete silence in the dining hall>the green slytherin flags remain unchanged>students begin whispering to one another>dumbledore winks at the viewer
>>214720970Snape always favored Slytherin, even before Harry arrived to the school. Which begs the question, if Dumbledore knew that their winning streak was because of Snape's favoritism, why didn't he do anything about it before that year?
>>214721168thats epicepic for the winwhat isn't epic is that the jew spammer ignores posts like this in these threads(and any other IP by this company) but hits everything elsehe's even on right now spamming the catalog and threads
>>214708713Not true btw, he was just giving people more opportunities to gain points.
>>214720313WHY DID SHE SMASH A TRANNY'S HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT?Because she's based, that's why
>>214722238I NEVER READ THAT ONE BEFOREWHO WHEN AND IS IT RELATED TO A FUN HARRY POTTER FACT?FUN FACT, DOBY IS 100% USELESS IN CHAMBER OF SECRET, WETHER HE IS THERE OR NOT, THE PLOT DOESNT CHANGE AT ALL.
I hate harry Potter Gary stues assssss
>>214717837I really enjoyed this one
>>214709088I've watched this several times and never noticed the divine magic sign behind him before.
>>214717867Not canonAlso fakeAnd gay
>>214709088>HARRY I KNOW YOU'RE ABOUT TO DRILL FOR OIL OFF THE ENGLISH COAST>I KNOW YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR PALE VIRGIN ROD WORSHIPPED BY THE SUCCULENT LIPS OF AN EBONY COCOA BUTTER GODDESS >BUT YOU MUST COME WITH ME THIS INSTANT, THE FATE OF HOGWARTS DEPENDS ON IT
>"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS" he cried, his hard, elderly wand erect in his hands, pointed at Malfoy>The boy fell in front of the podium, rigid as a board, his eyes glaring with complete and utter shock at the headmaster's actions.>"COLLOPORTUS!" Dumbledore shot into the air with a roaring boom. locking all the doors in the hall.>With Malfoy's stiffened body propped up against the podium, Dumbledore turned around, dropped his trousers, and revealed the most very forbidden forest, white, grey, and speckled with brown.>A magnificent groan echoed throughout the hall, as the headmaster squatted down above the boy's face.>BRAAAP>BRAAAAAAPPPPP>The entire hall gasped in horror as Dumbledore's steaming greenish stink splattered across Malfoy's face. All the poor boy could do was take it.>A wretched smell filled the air, something worse than a Troll after sweet copulation>BRRAAAAAPPPP>"AHAHAHAHA! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN, OH YES SYLTHERIN EXCELLENT INDEED! HEHEHEHE!" Dumbledore bellowed insanely as his brown bowel brew blasted forth from his prolapsed butthole, gushing hot torrent after gushing hot torrent>"BRRRAAAAPPPP>The Professors threw their heads back in hysterical laughter. There was no question that they were having the time of their lives, watching as Dumbledore's putrid poop potion plastered Malfoy's prissy pretty boy face.>BRRAAPP>The students were in chaos. Slytherin House was absolutely humiliated as their Headmaster's cankerous colon concoction encrusted Malfoy's face, his clothes, and the floor, spreading through the entire hall.>Eventually Dumbledore's fecal fountain floundered. He pulled up his trousers, angrily screaming calmly "DID YOU SLYTHERIN SCUM SINCERELY SURMISE THAT I WOULD LET YOU WIN ANYTHING?! YOU ARE SATAN'S CHILDREN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN HISTORY! YOUR CRUCIFIED OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!">The entire hall erupted into applause at Dumbledore's righteous rebuke of the demonic Slytherin kikes. The end.
>>214717502People say this, but then when you ask for a recommendation for something made for adults, they tell you to read some boring drama about being a businessman or World War II. I still wanted a story about wizards, dude.
THAT MICK HAS A WEAPON!
I don't even like books or movies that much, but I can't stop reading Snape fanfiction. The crazier and more deranged double spy work he does, the better.
>>214717837Kek haven't seen this one
>>214723964its a shame that most of it is gay shit or romantic shit but every now and then you find a good one.Terri_testing has the best character/spy work in her fics, "His Servant's Return" (severus come backs to voldemort at the end of goblet of fire) and "To Do All in my Power" (severus during his headmaster year) being her best works when writing severus spy bullshit. Her dumbledore and voldermort are also good but the best at writing the pseudo love/loyalty triangle between voldemort, snape and dumbledore is without a doubt FixingCanon, im not really sure if FixingCanon is a woman, the snape in her fics is not written in the typical faggy way that woman do fics of him, when i read any fic of FixingCanon i really feel like am seeing the nazi socipathic violent incel energy that someone needs to have to join the death eaters as an dirt poor ugly halfblood that snape lacks in fics done of him by others authors, but in favor of FixingCanon being woman there is the fact that her two best fics ("the reward" and "let me die for you") have multiple erotic rape escenes or implications in more than one chapter, her best work is particularly fucked-up called The Reward The basic premise is that Lily is given to Snape as a reward for his service after Voldemort kills James and Harry, and Snape has to do everything (rape) expected of him to preserve his cover and protect Lily. It's absolutely fucked, but I find it absolutely fascinating to see the mental workings of Snape and Lily that is unaware of snape true loyalties. Fixingcanon really write snape to well when he is being a cruel violent bastard in that one here an example:"And I give you my word, Lily, that if despite these precautions you ever manage to take your own life, I will torture and kill in your name one Muggle family for each day you force me to live without you."
>>214720970i read the first book this year as an adult and snape's childish behavior is by far the worst thing in it. there is no way an adult and wizard professor could behave that way realistically
6 million points to Emma! I mean to Hermione :3
>>214722283Doby is the reason Harry had to regrow his bones
HARRY NIGGER WHY DID YOU JUST BBCIFY RON WEASLEY'S WILLYI WILL BE INFORMING THE TRANS POC PREFECT OF THAT INFRACTION OF THE WALMARTWARTS WIZARDING TERMS OF SERVICE PAGE 4362 LINE 23:>'DO NOT CAST "PHALLUS AFRICANUS" ON WH*TOIDS'
>>214721201He waited for Potta to arrive to make rubbing it into Snapes faces that little bit sweeter.
>>214725807A teacher being mean and unfair for no reason is something children can relate to so it fits the story.
>Attention all students! The first duel of the year is about to begin. Potter, Malfroy, if you will.>Draco shuddered, face red and sweating. Win or lose, there’d be hell to pay.>Harry grinned fiendishly as he stretched his legs into the dueling arena and cast a little gay disarming spell>Draco countered it and, feeling Dumbledore’s lusting vulture eyes boring into his back, cast the weakest spell in his already-limited arsenal>As he had feared, Dumbledore’s reaction was immediate>DRACO SCUMFUCKING MALFROY, DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT JUST USE “nudgehim pushhimalittleus” ON OUR DEAR MR POTTER?>Harry’s cheshire grin widened even further>ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT POTTER IS A LEGEND, A FUCKING GRYFFINDORIAN HERO! HES THE BOY THAT LIVED, YOU’RE THE BOY WHO SUCKED DICK BEHIND THE BLEACHERS! YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS WORM! Dumbledore yawped calmly>ONE QUINTILLION POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN! STUDENTS, FEEL FREE TO USE MALFROY FOR A BIT OF OLD-FASHIONED TARGET PRACTICE!>N-no! Draco pleaded, but it was too late.>Thousands of hostile spells and cruel hexes rained down on Draco, singing his flesh and piercing his bones. His robes were animated and weaved into his skin, he felt faces bubbling up from his stomach and worming their way out of his guts as they howled and babbled arcane nonsense. His wand disintegrated as he collapsed to his knees, shaking and weeping bloody tears as his body contorted and collapsed in upon itself: Transforming again and again, each time revealing a more hideous form, until finally all that remained of Draco Malfroy was a puddle of quivering jelly and matted silvery-blonde hair>Harry stretched his hand into the lurching gelatin and frowned>Ah, err, Professor? I think this Slytherin trash is still alive!>Ah yes, dear boy. Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling from behind his spectacles. AVADA KEDAVRA!
>>214715055A daring synthesis
Does anyone have the "Pakistan IS India" pasta?
>>214719494>>214719494>"No matter what you do, the rich kid will win for reasons you aren't even allowed to know"?>>214721043>Yes, thats what British children are unironically taught.It's also true and a lesson you can accept right now. Most of them simply have more money have superior dna, not all, but most not just that but family adaptaion to be sucessful, highly educated in harsh boarding schools and elite universities, often former military officers and command vast wealth that you, your dna and your assets oer your family will never have or match, ever and they will win, fairly or fouly, every time. You learned something worth knowing there clown.
