Needed a male heir or else his kingdom would be absorbed by HRE/Spain.
Catherine walled.
for the coochie
>>214843701Henry did nothing wrong.
>>214843701His seed was weak.
>>214843701>WelshmanHe just wanted a lovely ewe to be his wife but society wouldn't allow it
>>214843701Sepsis from his infected wounds poinsoned his body, which affected his mind, mood, and decision making.He wasn't a well man.
>>214843701>absolute gigachad, an actual giant among men>smart>suddenly crippled>same accident causes a creeping insanity that just gets worse>all while still not siring an heirDon't lance, anons!
>>214843826Henry Eight The Piesfat bastid
He did what he had to do. Imagine if Europeans behaved like that. Instead of giving up their continent to NGO globohomo and the migrants they make money off
>>214843826Tobefaire, the jousting accident changed his figure, leading to traumatic alteration of his own personal outlook on life in general, hence the things he did
>>214843701because cromwell 4D chess
She was making a move. He had to get it on.
>>214843826balls protrudingvery disrepsectful
>>214843701'ate the papacy simple as
>>214843701>making up a whole new religion just so you can divorce your wife what a lardass
>>214843701>one of the most powerful men in the world has to settle for used goods of his brother as his public spouseYeah, I'd be mad too. Eventually.
>>214843701
He wanted to film his buddies smoking weed with him while they watched Ancient Aliens.
>the records of Henry's medics and physicians>the clusterfuck that was the bury ceremony
>>214843701He ate his wives apparently
>>214847117>the clusterfuck that was the bury ceremonygot a story to tell us, anon?
>>214846713THREE LIONS ON A SHIRT!!!!
Because he could.
'ate the pope'ate the french (not raciss just dun like em)'ate me wifeluv meatluv huntin luv joustin simple as
>>214848141Fetch me my jousting cod piece.
>>214848482BOSH!!!!!!!
>>2148474281/2>Henry's body has been fighting infection for several years since the jousting accident>In the day of his death his body was more puss and infection than man, this combined with an eating disorder byproduct of the accident put Henry's body around the 400 pounds>Edward Seymour council at the time decided to keep the death of Henry's secret for 3 days to make time to move and prepare the massive and deteriorating body of the now deceased King>Embalmers were quickly summoned to work on Henry's body, according to records the body was so damaged and decayed that the liver fell apart at the touch of it>Heart full of yellow fluids, gangrene and whatnot in the intestines>one of the Embalmers Assistant fainted when the stomach was opened due to the unsupportable stench, others fled the room>2 days and 100 pounds of salts/herbs later the body was ready>The corpse was encased in a massive lead coffin to keep the stench at bay>Witnesses reported strange sounds coming from the coffin, most likely gas from the body, later on the coffin began to distort due to gas pressure, this was quickly hide with black clothes>Then the procession to Windsor Castle>A special carriage was built to hold the half ton weight of the coffin>The journey that was suppose to take 1 day, it took 3 due to the massive weight, the 8 horses that were pulling the carriage barely holding up and to make things better it was raining>At the 2nd night they have to stop at a monastery which ironically Henry dissolved years earlier
2/2>Then the worst happened, the gas pressure that was building up inside became too much for the lead coffin>A thunder like sound was heard, followed by a shit fest of putrid fluids and stench all around>The smell was so bad that the guards left their post>In the morning dogs were found licking the fluids from the ground, later that day the coffin was quickly sealed with lead>When they finally reached Windsor Castle, Henry was buried with haste and without the elaborated ceremony that was planned>The whole ordeal was such a shitshow that Edward Seymour ordered absolute silence on pain of death
>>2148438261540 was an absolute fucking unit
>>214843701He had a traumatic brain injury from a joasting incident
>>214844037The Tudors was less of a historical drama than an extremely expensive soap opera but I dug it anyway. Great sets and costumes
>>214848684It was alright.
>>214848592>>214848611
>>214843701>>214843727Funny thing is that the sperm that determines sex not the egg.It was literally his fault.
>>214848592Sounds yummy.
>>214848770Yeah but the point is he knew he wasn't infertile since he *did* knock Katherine up a couple times and they had a couple stillborn boys and one who was apparently healthy at birth before dying of SIDS or whatever the medieval equivalent was. So he knew his juice worked to some extent and Katherine was only getting older so if he ever wanted a legitimate heir that wasn't born a bastard he was gonna need a new wife. If pumping Katherine full of it throughout her 20's never produced a viable son she wasn't doing to do it in her late 40's.
>>214848734>having a good time with your bros>suddenly remember your wife existsmany such cases
>>214846713Corrr. I hate my country, but I think I've just re-found patriostism reading that.
>>214848734Anne Boleyn is so fucking hot tho.
>>214849184
>>214849213imagine the smell
>>214843826Disgusting fat fuck. If he didn't die he would become Siegmeyer of Catarina.
>>214849667Based Onionbro.
This thread was moved to >>>/his/18028152
