>slams a vanilla envelope on the desk>"Anyone this clean is hiding something."
>>214867274>vanilla envelopeThere's an embarrassing fox pass if I ever saw one
>lieutenant, pull the anon Doss EA>it's a blank sheet of paper
>no facebook, instagram or x>not even a linkedinthis guy is a ghost
>no social media accounts at all, not even LinkedIn. But he surfs the ‘net all day, what’s he doing, what’s he hiding?
>run throught his driving records, there must at least be a parking ticket somewhere>sir... he doesn't have a driving licence, we even double checked>but our sources say he's 35, how do he gets to work everyday?>sir...
>>214867590This one hits home
Keked. Great thread. How about this one:>This man is clean. He doesn't even have a parking ticket I have heard this so much growing up that I ended up believing that if cops are looking into you as a suspect you shouldn't have a parking ticket or that will make them more suspicious of you, so I ended up being a super careful driver and haven't got a ticket ever kek
>Sir, he's active again>What's he saying?>It seems he is replying to posts almost randomly with just the word "based">"Based?">Yeah, "Based.">Based on what?>Just, "Based"
>>214867274>He's gotta be using a burner phone, boss. I pulled the logs from the mobile provider and the last outgoing was nearly three years ago, to his mother.
>sir, you need to read this, he's actually making some good poi->DAMMIT JENSEN I TOLD YOU TO TAKE A BREAK BEFORE THEY TURN YOU>but sir->FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN, YOUR NEPHEW JUST HAD HIS BAR MITZVAH!
>Hey chief, you ever wonder if maybe this guy is actually innocent after all and we should be following up on other leads and looking for a new suspect?>'THIS' CLOSE KOWALAWITZ! You're 'this' close to being taken off the force
>>214867274>When was the last time he went to the dentist?
>He's been posting frogs for the past 5 years, Sir.>What else?>Just the frogs, Sir.
>I want associates, I want his education, I want place of employment. We need to know the man behind this!>I can't give you what isn't there, sir!>No associates, no education, no employment...not even a goddamn credit card or an outstanding loan? Am I supposed to believe that we're chasing a goddamnned ghost here, Parker?>...No social media presence, no college degree, no driver's licence, not even an ex-girlfriend from his high school days...There's nothing! Jesus Christ, is this guy an assassin or spy or something?!>...I'm calling Interpol. I want a man in the airport, a man in the train station, and two cars watching every single entrance onto the interstate. He does not leave the city, is that understood?!>Don't bother, chief. New info from Johnson.>What is it?>According to him...he hasn't left his home in twelve years. No neighbors know him. They swear the property's vacant.>...Who...No, WHAT the hell are we dealing with?
>Sir.. You have got to see this. This man has spent a third of his life on these infamous anonymous websites and another third gaming>My god Johnson. What kind of extremist hate groups is he part of? Secret Discord servers? Steam groups? Telegram chats? Or maybe even, god forbid, an IRC channel?>Well that's just it sir.. It seems as if he hasn't made a single contact on the whole Internet. He- he barely even participates sir>You are telling me that this man has wasted half of his life browsing a handful of websites? Without even engaging with the other users? Have you gone mad Johnson? Get everything you have on this monster and I need it yesterday
>>214867274>I've got nothing on him, it's almost as if this man never even existed
>>214867609So the propaganda worked
>He spends most of his time on the movies board>Great, a cinephile put a tail on him, I want to know when he goes out to the movies and with who he goes>Sir...
>>214867694>We went though his place sir!>And? >Nothing but boxes full of Cheetos >Damn it! He must have know we were coming! He's making a mockery of this department!
Ilove these even if theyre all the same recycled posts
>>214867609im paranoid im going to get a letter in the mail about when i speeded by a police car last week. I was going about 10-15 over the limit. he didnt come after me or anything but i was clearly speeding.
>Someone, anyone, has to speak to this guy. He can't just live in a room all day without social contact. Guys go insane in solitary confinement, it's why it's a severe punishment!
>>214867949Damn
>>214868687One of my worst driving fears is that I'll randomly receive a letter in the mail about speeding/running a red or some other blink-and-you'll-miss-it crime that I don't remember doing but would have clear evidence of it happening. I'm not a reckless driver by any means, but my paranoia doesn't give a fuck.
>>214867274>*sixth replay of Anon's police interrogation*>"Think we're gonna find anything new this time, chief?">"Well, probably not. It's just curiosity at this point. How does this guy hide information so well? I talked to an old friend in the agency, real pro at interrogation and information extraction, had him take a look at this.">"And? He figure something out?">"Not a thing. He says our guy's body language is unlike anything he's ever seen. Impossible to read, no pattern, confusing stuttering and eye movement that muddle even short answers. They train people for decades to resist interrogation and it's not even close to this.">"Tell me about it. I still feel weird after being in there, and Johnson had to take the week. Mindfucked him completely. Oh, look, here it comes, my head was blank for a moment after this">*sounds of Anon sperging out from the screen*
>>214869549>why does he keep pointing to the clock on the wall and saying checked? >you've got me chief none of this adds up
