>>214913403
To trigger chuds, apparently

>>214913403
witches be evil n sheit

>>214913403
to be a scary movie? can you please

>>214913403
Everyone avoids growing old by any means available. Also see: The Substance.

>>214913403
Point?

>>214913403
>And i just watch the screen? Why?

>>214913403
sloppa

>>214913403
What does this have to do with "weapons" anyway?
What did I miss?

>>214913403
What was the point of the floating ar during the dream?

>>214914561
to match the name

so naruto running actually is aerodynamic?

>>214914663
only if you are a fat fag korean

>>214913403
reddit

>>214913403
r/horror makes me nauseous for real. Spend an hour or two reading mind-numbing low-freq discussion by tranny shills, search for weapons on r/horror, read the posts to get an insight into the average troon/shill/redditor mind. It's no wonder they kill themselves so often, nobody can swallow that much shit and call it chocolate. Zach cregger is a hack nobody who'll never make anything worthwhile

The same old eating the young theme that has been used a million times really.

>>214916163
i mean, is it wrong...

>>214913403
black comedy

>>214916541
No it's pretty accurate.

We lost WKUK for this?

>>214916072
Who is a good horror director by your standards?

>>214913403
To ask yourself how you can avoid the people recommending this crap.

>>214916597
WHERE WAS THE FUNNY???

Even my 10 year old niece told it was cringe and "funny"
Why aren't horror movies scary anymore?

>>214914436
holy fucking retard

>>214917629
I would barely call it a horror movie.

>>214917629
what are her favorite erotic movies?

>>214917629
crinny?

its pointless slop with some decent ideas at its core. Just like barbarian

>>214916616
that was Trevor's fault

>>214913403
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba_Yaga
read
learn
don't make stupid posts

To be kino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNk6ARuIQYc&t=85s

>>214913403
the boy was insanely cute shota hot

>>214914436
In what way did grandma use her zombie slaves, you absolute buffoon?

I liked the movie but was kinda bummed out that they killed off police guy and the ending was too abrupt with little to no exposition.

>>214916620
Parker Finn as a most mainstream and unironic take. I'll tell you who aren't good though - Jordan Peele, Guillermo and that other reddit tier guy can't be bothered to look his name up I think he did Oculus?

>>214913403
In the same way the Exorcist was just a technically well-made story of shouting and vomit, unless you'd ever had to deal with a loved one losing their mind, Weapons is a strange nothing burger, unless you've ever been or been around a child forced to be an adult, responsible for adults, keeping adult secrets.

>>214917629
Because you're a heartless comfy shit who's never known a day of hardship

>>214920559
I honestly found the tweaker more endearing somehow

>>214913403
It's a great movie pretty much spoiled by a third act that panders to the lowest common denominator of redditard who has to have a satisfying ending where le heckin good guys win!
I watched an old review of Hereditary recently and they talked about the people who were giving it negative reviews on IMDB. They all mentioned lack of jumpscares and were confused/angry at the ending because the bad guys just won and the movie ended.
Weapons appeals to those people.

>>214920951
There's no way in hell this movie wasn't made entirely because someone wanted to have a sequence where a bunch of mind controlled children brutally chased down and tore someone apart by hand. That wasn't some compromise they made

>>214921000
No it wasn't, i'd even bet the story was written around just that: the children bewitched turned against their captor in a messy end for the evildoer.

>>214920900
He was probably closer in age to you? Writing stories for younger people, you have to put them in it directly, if they can't see themselves in it, all the events might as well be furniture being moved around.

>>214921119
Nope, the cop is. I just felt like he was a weirdly believable character

Guy had a cool horror idea and wanted to stretch it to a full length movie.
Honestly, this wouldn't have been so bad as an episode of supernatural, buffy the vampire slayer or charmed. But as a movie, it sort of drags on for too long.

Only thing that left me wondering was why Josh Brolin was having a dream that had the voodoo grandma in it, since he had absolutely no affiliation with her at that point. And why was voodoo grandma sitting the forest waving at the junkie?

>>214913403
the love of a father, who'll stop at nothing to save his child
witchcraft is evil and can be defeated
cops are evil bastards
junkies are evil bastards

very surprised to see this coming from hollywood

>>214920570
the smile sucked

its a movie, you sit on the couch with a bag on popped corn and you watch it
glad i could help!

you guys are contrarians

>>214913403
>kidnap kids to prolong your life
>do nothing with them for two weeks
>get discovered
>die from nephew breaking a twig
most retarded with ever

>>214913403
Who says it has to have a point? It was entertaining.

>>214913403
>something something school shootings
>something something suburban hell
>something something karens
>something something witches and shiet

I dunno, I thought it was a mediocre movie where the allagory got the praise, not the movie itself, but it's always been like that with film critics. I just thought it was poorly executed where it just aludes to things, but doesnt make a really good case for it or builds some sort of cohesive narrative around it, just chucks shit at the wall and hope pseuds pick it up and thinks it's something profound.

In other words, it's unironically pretentious.

but what the fuck was up with the giant assault rifle in the dream, that was fucking retarded lmao

>>214914561
It was an extremely subtle reference to school shootings. Only the most high-brow modern cinephiles can appreciate such scenes though. Clearly the director made the movie for a different audience than you, chud.

>>214922343
i feel the other way around, the movie felt very well made, some nice camera work, good acting, some decent ideas here and there, it was just pleasant to watch, but the whole shitty allegory felt very fucking forced and made me roll my eyes

>>214922713
dude weapons lmao
dude 217 lmao

>>214922713
>>214914561
Come on guys.
The AR was his subconscious communicating that the children were weaponized, which is the film's word for the mind control whammy. The witch found the teacher and the dad in their dreams because in a dream state they were able to extend their consciousness to the children they were connected to, the son for the dad and the entire class for the teacher including the un-whammied kid. The witch was defending herself in the dream state, because she's a being of power.

>>214922713
It's trailer bullshit, they can put those scenes on the trailer to make the movie seem way more interesting than it is.

>>214923736
Maybe I just missed it, but why didn't the witch take control of the teacher after she cut off a lock of her hair when she was passed out in her car?

>>214924185
she doesnt take control with the people that way i think, its the bell that actually gives her control, she used her hair so Fat Gay Gook would attack her, its like a targeting system

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>>214922713
It's the same rifle from his son's room. His brain is working in overdrive looking for 'meaning' in objects that could help piece together(literally the gun and the clock fuses together) what happened.

>>214922713
Its a reference to school shootings. Poorly done

>>214924636
it really isnt

>>214913832
>Everyone avoids growing old by any means available.
Please explain how this related to the movie in any way.
>>214917629
a 10 year old watching that guy bashing his face into pulp on the floor for like 5 straight minutes? You've probably fucked her up for good. Kids laugh at shit that fucks them up. Good job retard.
>>214920559
The police officer was the only based character. They did him dirty.
>>214922169
Josh Brolin shouldn't have been in it full stop. It was too sloppa for him. Must have needed that paycheck.

On a general observation you gotta love how they give the "troubled" female teacher the stereotypical "damaged" male tropes like getting wasted at the bar, sleeping around, acting indifferent to the death threats surrounding her etc
HR writing teams have been writing women as men for a long time now and I can see that bullshit straight away.

Still kinda enjoyed the movie though, saw it for free at the cinema which always helps. Pretty retarded though.

>>214913403
it was kino, why is /tv/ always wrong?

>>214913403
It was pretty bad. I don’t get the hype.

>>214913832
No she was old and ugly as shit. She didn’t want to die.

>>214913403
>>214922341
I think this is unironically an example of "just turn your brain off bro" movie. It's a fun, engaging experience, but the second you think about it even for a second, it falls apart.

I think what fucked it is the timeline. A month later NOBODY figured out who's being it? Where's the press, true crime podcasters? I think it would've made more sense if it JUST happened and everyone's confused. Or maybe set it during like 50s-60s? You can replace ring cams with a noisy neighbour or something

>>214913403
This movie was pretty good, but I just wish it was happier and with their mouths open.

>>214922713
It was supposed to represent how the witch turns people into weapons, but it was pretty dumb.

>>214925878
heh

>>214913403
this trully was the first movie I believe the reviews were paid because holy shit, giant scarr

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>the fag couple was literally eating a whole tray of hot dogs
what did Zach mean by this...?

>>214926102
>whole tray
Is that high?

>>214926173
wat

>>214926102
I didn't realize this until I watched the rlm review, but the directors entire background is comedy. The off-beat, at times quirky nature of the movie is entirely because of this, as was the ending.

>>214920951
I don't think the happy ending is the problem, but the prerequisite lore dump required to achieve it. The over-explanatory final act clashed with the "What the fuck?!" previous acts that were so enjoyable. It peaked with Marcus, floundered with Alex.

>>214926789
nigga, never watched WKUK?

>>214917629
my 21 year old sister was scared and had a nightmare about it and had to sleep in moms bed

Fun movie. Satisfying ending. It does suffer from a lot of really odd story conveniences though, like the witch for some reason turning BD Wong into a weapon instead of just possessing the teacher, or the cop for some reason believing the meth head's story about knowing where the kids were after he just stabbed him in the face with multiple needles, or why the kid targeting the witch at the end only caused the other children to become weaponized.
I did like it a lot though, don't get me wrong. I liked the way the plot unfolded and it had me grinning a lot.

>>214922713
It's the least subtle way of telling the audience that the children were weaponized at 2am, which leads to Thanos' conclusion after BD Wong gets squished. I think this was mostly just a little failure on the directing side of things. Regardless of that or if its a metaphor for gun violence or WHAT, it's really dumb.

>>214913403
Butter is fattening and bad for the skin and black goats don't know shit about fashion and pretty dresses.
Yes, it's a The VVitch sequel.

>>214913403
I thought the gun over the house was leading to a school shooting plot. My schizo head theory was that they were being controlled to become future school shooters by a government agency, and the missing kids story would be memory holed, like how the details of Sandy hook before the shooting are vague, eventually the kids would be dispersed to different districts around america to create these crisis's.

>>214913403
I didn't like that the teacher's dog didn't die, nor does it make sense to call it weapons if it has nothing to do with weapons.

>>214924612
>>214923736
These anons get it, and also the title Weapons refers to both the kids/people being weaponized by the witch and also her persuasion techniques being weapons. Not convinced it’s a reference to school shootings but maybe in the sense that school shooters are weaponized by media

>>214927408
damn... deep...

>witch turned the kids into Weapons™ by abducting them and feeding off their life force
>they end up killing her
Deep

Why was there a gun in the sky?

>>214913566

Watch out now
Take care
Be-ware
Of falling swingers
Dropping all around you

>dude what if
>what if we talk about how witch hunts are bad right?
>but then, get this
>witch hunts actually good

the SECOND it went into supernatural and magic is when I almost fell asleep

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1st ~ 2nd act was so good.
Only to be ruined by 3rd lol.
Same as Barbarian..
Director just can't do 3rd act.

>>214927978
People who dislike supernatural horror are legitimately low IQ.

>>214928034
sisters I'm shook, I thought I was kino

>>214914663
I just kept making fun of that every time they did it. So much funner watching movies at home.

>>214926863
That's pretty hot anon

movie is a lot better knowing it's about how the director lost his bro to alcoholism and suicide, that said the ending is fucking hilarious and redeems the poor twist by becoming a Goosebumps episode but rated R

Is the mom not related to Josh brolin? She has the Thanos mouth and chin.

>>214913403
a thorn from a stick from some kind of tree or bush

I understand the idea of people not caring is reason enough but how the FUCK did nobody, not a single person, notice a home went from lived in with active family members to newspapers over the windows and overgrown lawns?
>just turn off your brain haha
fuck you it's a dogshit plothole and the parents didn't seem to give half a shit the entire time

>>214913403
the moment the director of school is running in plain daylight like a sweating chicken make completely pointless the beware of darkness metaphore and the fucking brilliant theme of children running to the woods without motive, and it become a netflix/hbo miniseries where everything must be explained with various more or less unimpressive plots and pov´s destroying the scraps of mistery that maybe still have.
still a good and pleasant movie to watch. but nothing more.

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>>214913403
>What the F*CK was the point of this?
The point is showing that kikes always lose at the end.

>>214928494
They were distracted by the giant rifle floating over the house to notice anything else.

>>214914436
witch was using people as weapons. I think someone even compared them to missiles

>>214928607
shit you right

>>214928494
its like a week or two after the kids disappeared, not enough time was passed for people to start noticing

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>>214928494
That's easily explained by the family being pestered by the news or angry parents looking for answers. So they papered over their windows and stayed indoors.

Rewrite Weapons as a less dumb gay movie
>Julie Garner knows why the kids went missing
>it was actually her plan to make all of them disappear at night
>her motivation is she thinks parents don't care about their children enough (school shooter allegory) and wants to make them all disappear to prove a point
>Alex isn't vulnerable to her magic for some reason, maybe he's autistic or something
>movie focuses more on parents and cops trying to piece together what happened, it's more of a detective story and Julie is mysterious and weird the whole time, we can't tell if she's guilty

>twist is there's an actual real witch who ensnared Julie Garner in her grasp and did all the magic
>actual witch is a minor character we've already seen in the movie
>that evil witch plans to eat all the children, Julie Garner only wanted them to disappear temporarily


Kino

>>214914561
to get the left excited

>>214928020
barbarian was shit the whole way

>>214913403
it's a scary movie nigga, the point was to give you a case of the spooks, simple as

>>214924932
>Please explain how this related to the movie in any way

The Weapons old witch is introduced as an obligation, the parents and the kid before the brainwashing think of her as a burden, the kid discovering how she looks without a wig in the bed, while less nasty, is meant to be as disgusting as Substance's Demi Moore's scene of becoming a full hag but not as hardcore, and the magicking done in both movies have little explanation, you just take them at face value for the gore comedy factor. And Moore's character is as well seen as an obligation to be replaced by her boss just due to her age, talent be damned.

I think both movies are comparable enough even if I liked Substance better.

>>214914561
To trigger this guy >>214929491

>>214929781
Why is the left so violent?

>>214929587
sheeeeeeeesh

>>214914436
Yeah, they're more like soldiers. The spell itself is the weapon.

>>214913403
old white women are evil

>>214924185
The hair is for targeting an attack, she did the same thing to the principle's husband.

>>214927408
I agree, the school shooting metaphor seems like people jumping to conclusions because it's relevant in current events. It's basically a red herring. Other than the survivor's guilt aspect that partially fuels the teacher's drive to connect early on and the way the crowd is angry at the teacher, it falls apart pretty quickly. By the time the gun is introduced in the dream the film has moved on completely.

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>>214927165
>anon's head canon plot is a much better movie than the one I paid for
Why is it always like this?

>>214932555
cos you are easily impressed

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hi /tv/

>>214933368
discount Pennywise

>>214913403
I think the overall theme of Barbarian and Weapons is that old women are hideous, evil hags bent on massacring and raping everyone.

>metaphorical horror movie
>point out something doesn't make sense
>"dude it's an allegory bro it's a metaphor like where's your media literacy it's just symbolism"

>>214934564
thats literally every movie

>>214913403
soi horror of 2025

>>214929483
we have to agree the premise is captivating. it really make many possibilities of making a great movie with that beginning.

>>214926102
https://youtu.be/MRh91b74zTU

>>214934564
Why I hate psychological horror and all its derivatives. Just give me a monster or an alien or even a dude just fucking people up. Please and fuckin thank you.

>>214936206
I’ll fuck you up faggot, now bend over

I’m gonna make Joker 2 look family friendly

>>214936242
Now that's more like it

>>214933679
yeah pennywise would at least had those kids doing something other than stand in a basement for a month

>>214936720
yeah, make them gangbank each other in the basement

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Movie mad no sense here and there
At the end, when the VVitch died, how come Thanos got instantly released from the mind control, but the kids were left semi-retarded?

>>214913403
>F*CK
why thge fuck dont you write FUCK like an actual man, are you a cocksucker?? this is not tik tok or whatever the fuck gay ass shit social network you use, faggot.

>>214913403
im getting sick of posting this

the movie is a 2-hour long WKUK sketch. if you've never watched WKUK go back and watch their episodes playing for free on youtube. the entire point of the film is some minor comedy bits throughout, and then the final big comedy moment at the end. if you watched this movie without laughing you're stupid.

>>214936866
For me it's The Civil War on Drugs

>>214936858
blue board, faggot

>>214936852
its not the same when somebody suck your vital energy for a month than for a minute, dont be retard, please.

>>214936813
Oh nos. Not the gangbank!

>>214937193
what about the parents then

>>214913403
why did this filter /tv/ so hard?

>>214937814
They were under control even longer than the kids

>>214913403
it's a double-sided cautionary tale about how an over-spec'd glass cannon can roflstomp noobs but also its narrow kit leaves it vulnerable to rogue strats. basically that old lady should have learned more than 1 spell, and those citizens should be glad that she didn't.

>>214913450
But im not triggered?

This movie had a lot of commentary on Sandy Hook and gun manufacturers that went over a lot of peoples heads. Specifically the Sandy Hook families sued some gun manufacturer (Remington was it?) over the school shooting and won and basically pushed them into bankruptcy. The movie is sort of a retelling of Sandy Hook with Remington as a Witch.

>>214928576
thousands of palestinians die screaming daily as jews laugh

>>214928576
she's not jewish, anon. check early life
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Madigan

>>214917578
the junkie was funny

>>214913403
Nothing beats a witch as a "movie monster" in a horror movie because literally nothing is scarier than an ugly old lady. Being one, seeing one, either way.

An old lady's disgusting face and skin all by itself is more horrifying than the scariest mask or make-up or CGI that the best Hollywood effects people can ever craft.

Witches are the most underutilized subjects for the horror movie genre.

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>>214925878
>>214925878

>>214913403
>cropped the image to mask his shilling after it was called out
Buy an ad
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/image/3IBycXpSAV4-0MZcbfZw9w/
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/image/pTm7rMcbCzFfLKwg5kpK5w/

>>214913450
Isnt everything these days, lmao.

The kid. The point was the kid.

>>214929483
YES YES, OH MY GOD YES.

I thought the film was going to focus on the parents and the tension between them and the teacher or school faculty at large. Kinda disappointed it wasn't like that.

>>214913403
Just like in Harry Potter, even if you're a fucking witch there is no reason not to be strapped. That dumb bitch. hoisted by her own petard. fucking embarrassing.