Cast him in the inevitable movie adaptation
>>214950040the absolute titles today elevated the line to KINO status
>>214950040That batman already exists. He's called The Midnighter, and he's literally gay as fuck.
>>214950040>not rich>still has thousands of gadgets pulled out of his ass
It's his turn now
>in a single issue, Bane creates Two Face, Penguin, and Riddler by intentionally, strategically, surgically beating up Batman's childhood friends with his fists with the exact right level of violence to turn one guy bipolar, turn the next guy into a manlet, and turn the last guy autistic >Meanwhile joker is a billionaire with AIDs who can only survive by wearing a blanket made out of living, crying babies sewn together who paid Bane to do all that shit I'm not making any of this up. Absolute Batman is downright odd.
>>214950372It's the universe where Darksied won.
>>214950408And Darksneed has a hell of a sense of humor. I actually like Absolute Batman but the... Novelty is a big part of the appeal.
>>214950040so what does he eat? How can he afford food and proteins shakes if he's not rich and spends his nights doing the superhero shit?
>>214950509Same as Reacher, whatever junk food he can find around. You don't need more than that for a huge jacked body.
>>214950580yeah Reacher was a military officer. He should have a some money saved. Plus his super smart black gf should be able to handle his stock fund.
>>214950372yeah thats the appeal, absolute batman is natshit insane.absolute martian manhunter was good too, not liking superman as much
>>214950408Based Darkseid
>>214950676>He should have a some money saved.Anon...
>>214950372Sounds kino to me
>>214950372When did Scott Snyder jump aboard the Mark Millar edgeTrain?
>>214950746well then HOW, I repeat HOW can he afford the 200g of daily whey protein that he would have to take to maintain those nice juicy mucles?That's like $50 of high quality protein powder per week
>>214950040AI Marlon Brando
What the fuck does Absolute Batman have to do with Batman at all?
>>214951220>Absolute is alchohol>Ben Affleck was Batman>Ben Affleck is an alchoholic
>>214950040Cast Absolute Joker
>>214951262Selena Gomez
>>214951262
>we want the brown person audience
>>214950825$13 at Costco
hes 7 feet tall and built like a space marine nobody alive could bring that physicality
>>214951262thats the most zendaya role ive ever seen in my entire life
>>214951347>46g serving>5g of protein.I would not even use that to torture my worst enemy.
>>214951467Thats why he’s Batman and you aren’t. Batman living like a rigidly disciplined turbo bachelor in a minimalist 1 bedroom apartment would be a cool take.
>>214951534agreed, batman should be eternally a bachelor, single, no fuckign catwoman, batgirl, robin fuckboi, he should be completely dedicated to his mission
why don't they get some imagination and make a new character holy shit
>>214951534I would accept that IF he can somehow get very cheap eggs.if he was on food stamps and ate around 40 eggs per day he would have enough proteins. SO the real question here is what's the price of a dozen eggs on Gotham?
>>214951613dude hes got his own chicken coop on top of his slum building instead of pigeons
>long hair superman>that cape Unfathomable kino
>>214951633smart.I guess if he spent half this time at night going around all the trash cans near restaurants and shit and could get enough stale bread to feed 50 chickens.I can't deny it then it's indeed possible for a broke ass weirdo like absolute Batman to be this muscular.
>>214951633>chicken coop and garden on the roof of his slum building>no Batmobile, rides the top of trains and busses to get around>picks up random scraps of metal he grinds down at home into batarangs >no fancy grappling hook just a regular hook on a rope he utilizes in a bunch of novel ways>lucious Fox is just a homeless dude that gives him information >commissioner Gordon is just a regular beat cop>alfred is his landlord>Bruce works at a library and uses their computer to do his research Broke normie batman sounds kino
>>214951729Chickens eat anything. A garbage bag from a restaurant dumpster will feed them
>>214951803lol no.chicken need a lot of food to lay egg everyday. It's easy when they are oudoor and can eat bugs in the grass but if you keep them on your rooftop it's not as easy.for 50-60 chicken you'd need at least 20 pounds of stale bread per day.
>>214951262>We have Berserk at home
>>214951716God I love his nano-cape and gauntlets/boots, so useful!
>>214950040>Bigger BatmanHoly shit they actually did it the absolute madmen.
>>214951803>>214951878but then again maybe absolute batman is friend with a manager at a local fast food place and maybe he get his bread like this.it's possible I guess.
>>214950040so how does a jobless bum afford the protein and gadgets needed to be batman?
>>214952061read the thread.he has around 60 chicken on his rooftop and use his connections with the local fast food industry to get daily stale bread to feed all. For his gadgets, he probably use cheap chinese stuff.
>>214951878A single restaurant generates way more food waste than that. Think about how much people leave on their plates at a restaurant. And it all gets scraped off into a trash can, usually a dedicated one.
>>214952061he isnt jobless hes a construction worker
faithful adaptation animated by competent japs when?
>>214952238Capeshit is beneath them
That's a big guy
>>214951613Calm down grr martin
>>214950372This is the most retarded shit I've ever read.
>>214950040Roman Reigns as Batman>>214951262A 1994 Spawn Violator bends action figure as The Joker.
>>214952238This. Absolute Batman borrows a lot from Shonen, so japs should be the one to adapt it
>>214950040Pic related>>214950705That has absolutely absolutely zero appeal you dumb cunt.
>>214950040>Scott Snyder>Snyder
>>214952468for you
>>214951457>>214951919no cute zendaya as agent Casca Lane, no watch
>>214952536his design is definitely manga inspired
>>214950040scott snyder is the best writer in the biz rn
>>214951262This should be an artistic thing, like sometimes he's drawn as a demon to convey how evil he is rather than being literal. I was down for Absolute Joker as this billionaire human monster doing all this fucked up stuff and the baby blood treatments. Him as a demon is kind of lame ngl
>>214952061>>214952224hes an engineer
>>214951262Jackie solos him
>>214950040Needs a good animated adaptation to do it justice
>>214952699Absolute series is cool but they can't stop themselves from turning every concept into Body Horror Monstrosity #6754 even if it starts out as something more interesting. They just revealed Lex Luthor as a blue collar family man with hair but I'm sure he'll grow tentacles or something within two issues tops
Nightwing has been ongoing for 300 issues now and he has less tools and equipment than Absolute Batman did in issue one of that series.
>>214950040>imagine if Batman was Spawn the comicbookFucking hell Scott Snyder is such a hack. I don't think there's been a good Batman comic writer since the 90s.
I genuinely thought that the Snyder who did the capeshit movies was the same Snyder writing Absolute Batman for like two weeks before I realized otherwise. Like I just accepted that he was taking a hiatus from film to do a comic book. What does that say?
>>214950372meh.
>>214953033>What does that say?You're indian.
>>214950825You know food has protein as well, right? Not all of his daily intake has to be in powder form.
>>214950040>Nu Comics
>>214951262Elliot Page
>whole point of Batman is that he is rich so he can afford all the training and gadgets in his endless free time>actually any random bum could be as good as Batman if he pulled himself by his boostraps
>>214952824Kek very true. Fingers crossed tho, Joker sometimes presented as a demon artistically to represent his evil is simply better to me than having to see Batman actually wrangle a Spawnified Joker
which comic is the one where batman helps croc because he has the mind of a child and at the end croc gives batman a toy dinosaur? i like that more than new broke batman
>>214953889Vanilla Batman #1 that came out last month. It has nice art, if not amazing. Gordon is a beat cop for some reason and Vandal Savage is the police commissioner, which is hilarious when people address him as Mr Vandal Savage, and wants to plug his PMC to tackle supervillain crime. And Batman.I think the first issue could've had more punch if only because it's the first issue and should set the tone, but as a low-key story it was good enough.
>>214953889that the new Batman #1