Sell me this pen.
[stick it up my ass]Smell me this pen.
Ill suck ya dick if ya buy it
>>214990275"if you don't have this pen you're gay"
>>214990275"This pen is underage"
>>214990275I will literally kill myself RIGHT NOW standing RIGHT HERE in front of you if you don't buy this pen from me!
>>214990275suck me this dick
>>214990275This pen repels niggeroids at a 20 mile radius.
>>214990275i got hit with this during a job interview for a door-to-door sales position. i spun some shit about the pen using proprietary ink made with unique traceable isotopes that could be individually verified and through this process it prevented signature fraud. it totally blew the minds of the two interviewers and i got hired on the spot kek
>>214990275No
>>214990275"Buy a pen, get a second one FREE!"See? I'm good at this.
>>214990275Netanyahu demands you buy the pen, goy
>>214990364>Make up some bullshit>Wow that's good bullshit, you're hiredLol
>>214990416tbf they were both indian so bullshit (both figurative and literal) is literally sacred to them
>>214990386how can that be profitable for Pen Inc?
No. First I want to understand you, your needs, your wants. Only after that will I decide whether my pen is a good fit for you. Your goal isn't to sell. Your goal is to help the client.
>>214990439margins are so low that selling one pen pays for ten new ones to be made. throwing in a freebie will attract more business than it costs in profits
>take pen>put it in my pocket>ignore the questionGood luck carrying on with your little bit there, dumbass.Oh? You need a pen to finish your bullshit talk? $200. Take it or leave it
>>214990275looking at the vertical here, this pen is, in fact, the most carbon neutral pen in existencecarbon negative, eveni crunched the numbers, and, giving you a rough over-under, buying just ONE of these pens will set your personal carbon footprint back 4 -no- at least 5 tonsthat is a rocking two and a quarter hour flight with a G550, full service includedyou simply cannot justify NOT buying this pen, we all need to do our part
>>214990444These are the most annoying kind of salesman and that's saying something. "I'm here to help you bro!" No, retard, you're here to make a commission. I'm not mentally subnormal so it's impossible for me to play along with your shtick. Fuck off.
>Buy now and get a life warranty including a lifetime supply of refills>more promises of perks until he takes itAnd as soon as he takes it>whoops the company went bankrupt no more warranty for you>>214990341based
>>214990275no i'd rather keep it
>>214990826wtf give it back
>>214990275>I'll sell you this pen and a dollar for 1 dollar
>>214990607Pretty good, but I'd just ignore the second part your plan. Fuck him - it's your pen now.
>>214990740I wouldn't sell to you because you don't want it. Helping you helps me because it stops me wastinng my time trying to sell to people that have no need.
>>214990875Good luck explaining why your colleagues are selling twice as many pens because they can convince retards to buy shit they don't need
>>214990607Funny thing is that businesses people usually will have pens like MontBlanc or Parker so he will DEFINITELY want it back.
>>214990275buy this pen and reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight
>>214990444Surprised to see someone on here that actually understands
>>214990275>Hi, I’m with Pens for Penny. Let me tell you about our organization and how it got its start. Pens for Penny was born out of the wish of Penny Johnson, who had undergone a trial that no child should have to go through - she was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in the sixth grade. What kept Penny in good spirits during her battle with cancer was exchanging letters with her classmates and receiving their encouragement, and she always kept a pen by her bedside. Penny unfortunately passed away but the lives she touched, the smile she donned and the letters she wrote live on. In today’s age, we hardly communicate with sincerity anymore, opting for terse emails or informal text messages, how long has it been since you wrote a loved one? Pens for Penny was established in Penny’s memory by her friends and family, and for just $5, you too can share her joy of writing, with 100% of the proceeds going towards research for Resnick’s Osteosarcoma. Can we count on your support?
>>214990965>>Hi, I’m with Pens for Penny. Let me tell you about our organizationYou lost me there.
It's AI powered.
>>214990996You don’t want to honor the wishes of a little girl who died of cancer?
>>214990444>>214990952you're hawking a pen not selling real estate
>>214991011I didn't listen for that long because I lost all interest when you started yapping about your company
>>21499083030 dollars
>>214991040oy vey
This pen? Nah, not for sale. It's one of a kind. This is the ballpoint pen Anne Frank's uncle used to write her diary. But if you wanted to make an offer...
>>214990850true. Would be more fun to insult him for not bringing a spare pen
>>214991023Did I mention it also contains an adderall dispenser? Penny had ADHD
>>214991020You're supposed to find the client's wants and needs before making the pitch. You don't go off by listing its features. Everyone in this thread has it wrong except >>214990444For example if, through digging, you found out your prospect is a business owner, and you wanted to sell him a fancy pen, you could tell the prospect, something along the lines of "Imagine you're closing in on a business deal and you pull out a chewed up bic pen to sign the contract. What would that tell people about what kind of person you are to work with? Are you someone who's responsible? That is orderly? Is that the kind of message you would want to convey?"
>>214990894>>214990740This guy doesnt know jack shit about sales
>>214991202I've worked in sales and talked to enough salesman to know that the shtick you're talking about both doesn't work and is the most annoying to be on the receiving end of. Cope harder.
>>214991020So why am i supposed to sit here trying to sell $1 worth of junk to someone who wont buy it
>>214991218>annoying to be on the receiving end ofYou mean how they let you go when you say you dont want it? Or how they dont try to upcharge you to price points you literally cannot afford? You really only like to go looking for an $8000 car when the guy is relentlessly trying to sell you a $12k one? You didnt even think about this, youre just talking out your ass
>>214990275That’ll be $.79. Cash or credit?
>>214990444>>214990952>>214991180these guys woke up one day and said to themselves>yep, sales. that's the ticket. that'll fulfill meimagine that
>>214991323Sales = $$$They are pathological hustlers though, wouldnt want to be one. These guys also love to flip shit, it can be pretty cool but stressful
>>214991218I agree with him. You don't know jack shit. It isn't a "schtick". You're making up a scenario in your head where the client has 0 interest and are using that as an excuse as to why such an approach would never work. They even make a reference to this in the movie. Belfort is being interviewed when a manager walks in, the hiring manager tells the manager to sell him this pen to show Belfort how it's done. The manager asks the hiring manager for how long he's been in the market for a pen. The hiring manager responds with saying that he isn't. The manager then throws the pen back at the hiring manager and walks away saying that he doesn't waste time with clients that aren't interested, "that's for rookies".
>>214991323Yes, I worked as a mortgage loan originator and read all 3 of Jordan's books. I went into this field after having graduated in computer science because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and grow as a person. Didn't want to live my whole life as an introverted computer nerd. Now I'm an extroverted computer chad.
>>214990275>take pen>turn 360>walk out of the room"Thanks for the free pen!"
>>214990275No, because I'd never be a filthy fucking salesman. What a shit line of work.
wanna buy a ben?fugg
>>214991357>Sales = $$$because there is no other work that also gets you $$$, where you don't have to try to get some poor schmuck to buy the heated seat subscribtion option for a markup>>214991437ok this has to be bait
>>214991834Sales is within reach of anyone and requires no certification. Its a decent living
>>214991443if you turned 360 degrees you would be walking into the floor retard
>>214992069>Sales is within reach of anyone and requires no certificationyou said it>Its a decent livingbut is it worth iti'd argue nothen again, i definitely profited from one branch of the family owning a car dealershipso maybe i should shut the fuck upbut god, did hearing even snippets of sales conversations in there ever make my skin crawltfrmb
>>214990364I just asked the interviewer to write down what he thought an appropriate price for the pen was. Since he just handed me his pen, he was penless. So I offered it back for a nickel.
Is everything okay with Teri? How's your gay son doing? (learned sales from The Office.)
>>214990275>I like you, so I'll let you have this pen, for a measly 1 cent>don't worry, pay me wheneverEasy as that. He technically bought it.
>>214990275>Ok how much would you pay for it?>50 cents>Done it's yours
>>214992428desu there is a big difference between sleazy used car salesmen and something like technical sales. B2B sales is about understanding your customers' needs as well as the product and usually pays way better than B2C.
>>214990275(puts pen in pocket) Sorry, it's not for sale.
>>214992719This. My uncle sold hospital equipment, when the product is good, necessary, and you just need an expert to talk to you about what you need or are getting, its a good time. Even just calling for an order of office supplies is easy for the salesman and buyer
>>214990312>>214990330>>214990341these, literally
Buy this pen or ill rip your eyes out right now and youll be blind forever
>>214990312>Peter Thiel: Ok, and?
>>214992740>h-hey, give it back!
>>214990935
>>214992719>sleazy used car salesmenkek oh no, far from ityou should have seen the fucking office they did sales inabsolutely ridiculous, even counting that the interior design was completely standardized by the brand>B2Bi have the misfortune of sometimes having to support those kind of sales from a technical side in my own workgetting my collegues from the other aisles to not lie their ass off about what can be actualized realistically without getting myself fired is a painful balancing act every timeeven after my relatively short time in industry, i am convinced almost all 'salespersons' are incompetent husks who just couldn't fucking hack it in any other work>but we need themsure, but is there some kind of rule that they have to be the biggest retards, always? just stop the commision/bonus shit, pay them a good wage and the suffering will have an end
>>214990299this
sell me this cia
