>HARRY POTTER!>DID YOU SNEAK THE MIRROR OF ERISED INTO THE HUFFLEPUFF BATHROOMS CAUSING THEM TO THINK THEY HAD MAGICALLY BECOME REAL WOMEN?>AFTER THEY WENT TO THE GREAT HALL AND WERE MERCILESSLY MOCKED BY THE SLYTHERINS THEY THREW THEMSELVES OFF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER!>THE MINISTRY IS NOW SO FAR UP MY ASS THEY FOUND PETER PETTIGREW!>42 points to Gryffindor.
>>215053495Do you think wizard trannies just constantly drink that transforming potion? Do you think they obliviate muggle women in order to steal their hair to make the potion?
>>215053495Kek. I like the ones that don't go on too long.
>>215053532Snape got tired of making polyjuice potions for his trans housemates.Hence why he invented sectumsempra
>>215053495Reminder that WB has paid shills spamming this shit multiple times a day and has paid of the jannies to cover up their unauthorized marketing for the HB series
>>215053495>>THE MINISTRY IS NOW SO FAR UP MY ASS THEY FOUND PETER PETTIGREW!
>>215053595>Reminder that WB has paid shills spamming this shit multiple times a day and has paid of the jannies to cover up their unauthorized marketing for the HB series
>>215053495How does this never get old?
>>215053495Alright alright calm down.
>>215053495>He said calmly
>>215053611why is he on resetERA
>>215053532If you think too much about how real people would act if they got their hands on magic and magical items and potions, the entire premise of Harry Potter just goes to shit and it would be a completely different story. You just have to suspend your disbelief completely or the rabbit hole of depravity never ends.
>>215053611I wouldn't be surprised if Rowling herself shitposted these once in a while and did it for FREE.
>>215053495>and to any students that wish to take extra classes, we do have access to miraculous devices that allow their user to go backwards in time>now be careful with these, for ill use can lead to truly disastrous consequences and we honestly can’t be bothered to keep an eye on students using them>just last week we had three psychotic breakdowns from overwrought students meeting themselves and having an identity crisis, and poor Tyrese passed away after getting it into his head that he could mug himself in the past and have two wands. It was terribly amusing.>now off to bed. Oh, and don’t think of the fact you’ll be biologically about two years older than all your peers by the end of school. Professor Trelawney has set up a betting pool on someone self harming after realising it and I don’t want to spoil the odds.>Oh yes, I almost forgot. I have decided to give one of the first-year male students an invisibility cloak. No, I will not be revealing who it is. The female students are likely wondering right now if their bathrooms are magically protected from male student entry. I can safely assure you, they are not.
>HARRY POTTERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!>DID YOU SNEAK INTO THE HUFFLEPUFF DORM ROOMS AND CAST REPARO ON THE GENITALS OF EVERY SINGLE STUDENT WHILE THEY SLEPT??!??>THOSE SURGERIES ARE GOING TO COST TENS OF THOUSANDS OF GALLEONS TO REORGANIZE AND ITS COMING OUT OF MY PERSONAL FUNDS!!!!!!!!!!>YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON POTTER NOW HAND OVER YOUR INVISIBILITY CLOAK AND WAND..... AND YOUR OTHER WAND............ THE ANKLE WAND TOO DAMMIT DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT YOU SNEAKY LITTLE CHUD!!!!!
>>215054360>Oh yes, I almost forgot. I have decided to give one of the first-year male students an invisibility cloak. No, I will not be revealing who it is. The female students are likely wondering right now if their bathrooms are magically protected from male student entry. I can safely assure you, they are not.Aktually they are. Ron and Harry got turned away by magic when trying to enter the female dorm once.>but in the chamber of secrets they were in a girl’s bathroomThat was abandoned due to it being haunted.
>Now listen to me very carefully, Harry..... I need to know exactly what you've been doing with the Time Turner..........
>>215053532By canon, no magic is truly permanentSo yes, while they could live with polyjuice, the microsecond they don't have their dose they get back to normal
>>215054473>Aktually they are. Ron and Harry got turned away by magic when trying to enter the female dorm once.The bathrooms are outside of the dorms.
lol
>>215054473>Male students can't enter the female dormsAnd it took this long for twittter to realise Rowling was in support of a final solution to the trans problem?
>>215054533>By canon, no magic is truly permanentI dunno anon, avada kedavra seems pretty permanent to me
>>215053495I just rewatched Philosopher Stone and genuinely felt pissed off at Dumbledore when he just rubbed the wound by telling Slytherin that they earned their #1 spot studying hard for the whole year, and then blatantly snatched the victory using shitty justification like "muh stopping his friends" or playing chess for once. And I am also pisses at the creators trying to paint Slytherin as the bad guys who deserved it.
>>215054939To be fair: Malfoy is always a little shit.
>>215054939>Slytherin fags studied hard>Gryffindor chads prevented Voldemort from coming back to lifeYour grades in school are bullshit that mean nothing in the real world.
>>215054939You're a death eater
>>215054939As if he didn't enjoy needling Snape because he knows how biased he is
still waiting on the bts pics of lithgow dumbledore. I just can't see it.
>>215054360>Oh yes, I almost forgot. I have decided to give one of the first-year male students an invisibility cloak. No, I will not be revealing who it is. The female students are likely wondering right now if their bathrooms are magically protected from male student entry. I can safely assure you, they are not.kek
>>215055086Surprisingly redpilled
>>215053495Did he say that CAMLY?
>>215053578HOLY. FUCKING. KEK.
>>215054390It's true. This shit never gets old.
>>215053578Secstumpsever
>>215057290good morning
