This dude may actually live forever
>>215093406Good.
Pussy Truck Faggot will outlive him
>>215093406Fun fact. Your body physically stops aging once you hit 90+. You're frail and likely to die from the common cold, but if you put yourself in a hermetically sealed bubble you could theoretically push on indefinitely as a crusty old skeleton.
>Penis van Lesbian lives to 100based
>>215093406I hope he does. He's a legend.
the secret to his longevity is he got to bang prime mary tyler moore
He probably has a few human infants locked up in a room that he siphons for blood transfusions to keep himself alive.
>>215094275I mean, we all do right
Vagina van homo turns 100.. neat
>>215093406Why are dutch "people" so creepy looking?
>>215093478When exactly is this turning point? 90+ is pretty vague. Yet you claim it's a "fact".
>>215093406why is he carrying a literal magic staff though?
>>215093406All seeing eye on his cane. They're all part of the cult.
>>215094275That wouldn't do anything. You schizos not only think people would actually do that, but that it would serve some purpose. You're so sick. You're all outraged over something that's never even happened.
>>215094338You think they're not people the same as you? What the fuck are you that you think you can look down on the Dutch?
>>215094353Literal?
A friend of mine was still driving around, texting on his Apple watch, when he was 102. He started slowing down around the time he turned 103, and then he died 6 months later. But he always lived alone and walk everywhere. He gave me his truck when he was 99.
>>215093406He has amazing genetics though, they should collect his sperm for future ubermensch.
>>215094576This dudes doling out handjobs
>>215093478do you have a single "fact" to back that up?
>>215094353It seems to be working pretty well for him. The real question is why aren't you carrying a magic staff?
>>215093478I'm going to tell this to my 91 year old grandparents.
>>215094353It's called a cane, zoomer
https://youtu.be/uf11zaRcFJ8
>>215093406>didn't do anything rightoh come on
>>215094353yeah
>>215093478Pretty retarded, dude.
Honest statement on his part.
>>215094532>A friend of mine>was 102How old are you?
Cock Truck Gaywoman is a legend.
>>215096474I'm 24 and friends with a 72 year old. I met him when he was working only part time 4 years ago. He already retired before that, but got another job to occupy himself. We watch old westerns and shoot guns in his backyard. There's no reason you can't enjoy spending time with someone significantly older or younger than you.
>>215096665Did you let him drag his wrinkly ballsack all over your face
>>215096820no, but i did give him a coffee enema
>>215093478This is a Christian, trad, and conservative take on aging.
>>215093406
>>215097124even at 85 my dad couldn't move around that well
>>215097124I know 55 year olds with frail backs and dementia that would kill to move their knees like that
>>215097145Making love to his braphog wife keeps him in great shape.
>>215097124this motherfucker is a wizard...
>>215094532>still driving around>always walk everywhere?
>>215093406There can’t be many people who appeared on television in the 1950s as an adult who are still alive today. Dick Van Dyke is one of them. I just hope People magazine doesn’t curse him like they did Betty White.
>>215093478chew you havisfaction a singlelicious satisfact to snack that up?
>>215093478thats not how aging works. however, lobsters are immortal and dont age. they die from getting too big to molt, which results in their shell hardening around them until they cant move and then they starve to death. THATS a fact.
>>215097124>>215097145>>215097186>>215097217he still goes to the gym 3 times a week.speaking of which, you should start eating healthy and going to the gym now, because your future doctor is using chatgpt to pass medschool right now.
>>215093406My grandpa is 91, he still has his marbles, takes care of himself and even drives. He says the exact same thing about never imagined living this long.
>>215097124That's genetics for you, you either got it or you don´t . The illusion of choice is just a psyop to keep the sheeple in line.
>>215097695Resistance training truly is important for older folks, including women. Sure, cardiovascular health/aerobic exercise is important, but neglected anaerobic respiration leads to the mineral density in your bones being depleted worse than an astronaut. Amongst other things.
>>215093406>It would be funny if I didn'tAlright fuck you I laughed.
>>215094373Do you do it for free?
>>215097124>all the retards responding to this thinking it's realIt's AI
>>215093406His ill-fated co-star, Cunt Von Faggot died a very early death from a bad mix of vodka and pills at the age of 27
>>215094683I thought they were supposed to send me one for free when I became a wizard but it never arrived
>>215097124https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rCge7IU_Gzc
>>215097653Genetic limits on shell growth means lobsters are not immortal even if they don't age.
>>215097653>thats not how aging works.it is now nerd
>>215098477What if they never get too big or we prolong their life by assisting the molting process?
>>215093406dubs and he dies of stroke on halloween night.
>>215098798>remove the genetic limiter >lobster grows so big he snib snibs the sun in two
>>215099094Dubs and ywnbaw
Though he has shrunk a couple of inches in recent decades, his height peaked at over 6', which makes his longevity even more remarkable as taller people tend to die younger.
>>215099238>taller people tend to die youngerthat statistic is skewed by their increased likelihood of falling
>>215093406He smiled a lot, loved life, never took himself too seriously. I think that's the key.
>>215093406who?
>>215093478there are 300 or so 112 year olds alive at any given time, but only like 10 113 year olds. 112 is where you start slowing down
>>215099361yeah when I turned 112 I really started to feel it, almost lieajfkeacasnaaaaaa
>>215098477>>215097653But Crocodiles don't stop growing and live as long as they can before they get so large they just can't properly sustain themselves and/or they eat a person and get hunted down.
>>215099402anon? ANON
>>215093478This is something I would’ve came up with when I was 15 and a chronic weed smoker
>>215093406living to be 100 is something else but at the same time its sad knowing thats pretty much it and its only a matter of time until the inevitable, must be scary to do anything physical because you are so weak and frail
>>215099461I doubt you're that worried about it past like 75The same as if your parents were to die when you're in your 60s vs if it happened when you were in your 20s
>>215099285Ironic considering that one of his signature acting moves is tripping on things. So much so that in architecture, a single step transition between areas is called a Van Dyke Step.
>>215099470no i guess the sad thing is that even though you live that long and its an incredible milestone there is nothing really waiting for you besides death
>>215094338He's not dutch you moron. Does Dick sound like a dutch name to you? He might be like 5 percent Dutch, but because you're so retarded you think hr must be Dutch if he has Dutch surname
>>215099461This is what I've always wondered about too.Like at that age, you can't make any sort of long term plans. No "oh I want to do that next year" or "this is my five year plan". You're forced into living purely in the moment.
>>215099526If you believe in heaven or whatever, there'd be thatAnd he has four kids and probably great grandchildren at this point, so he probably feels like he's left a legacy in the classical sensePlus he's rich
>>215099560>You're forced into living purely in the moment.You know most people would kill be to able to "safely" do that rightAnd not have to worry about anything, and not really have anyone except anything from you because you're oldIt would be like being 11 years old againConscious enough to achieve reason and enjoy things like movies or jerking off, but nobody expects you to have a job and even school isn't really school yet
>>215099535
>>215099562Getting old enough to see your grandkids have kids of their own is probably pretty sweet, in two senses of the word. Money helps, I'd honestly be a bit pissed if I lived to a 100 and was dirt poor.
>>215099586Sure there are pros, but imagine thinking "I'd love to go there on vacation next summer, maybe I'll book it", except you can't because you might well keel over next week.
>>215099615>next summerthat's wagie thinkinghe could anywhere he wants this weekend, or tomorrow
>>215093590Kek!
>>215099634I imagine if you live that long there is nothing left you want to do. I'm a quarter of his age and my only desires left are the animal ones. Traveling and learning doesn't stay exciting for long.
>>215094373>That wouldn't do anythingThat doesn't stop them>You're all outraged over something that's never even happened.Sweet child how little you know
>>215099673Most people don't do much recreational travel until they're old, because they're retired and often have a savings of course, Van Dyke is rich as fuck and famous, so he'd probably done his fair share even as a younger man, but even still, he could be sitting in his living room watching some boring shit about Tuscany or whatever on the travel channel and say "that looks nice" and then be there within 12 hours to eat at some restaurants, look out at the countryside, and then go home to watch NCIS
>mogs and will outlive DvD in your path
>>215099754With that much money there is obviously no reason not to do it if you wanted to. What I'm wondering is if you would want to. A man that has seen and done it all probably wants to fall into whatever routine is the easiest and most comfortable. No more plane rides, even if it's a private jet; no more hotel rooms, even if it's a penthouse.
>>215099972Probably not, but also he could afford to fly his entire family to wherever for a week, and as an old man you probably get the most enjoyment at making your great grandson laugh or be excited about a ride at Disney Japan or whatever
>>215094353It's a shillelagh for smacking you with
>>215097124You just KNOW he went to town on his slampig wife in the back just before this.
>>215094268
>>215097124bro is struttin
Dyke lol
>>215093406How does one man have so much charm?
>>215099535current dutch PM is literally called Dick
>>215094353Only fools don't get a magic staff past 82
>>215093406I knew someone who went to an alcoholics anonymous meeting in california and dick van dyke was there. apparently an alcoholic. she said he was really funny and kind.
>>215097124How can one man have such power?
>>215093406>gets to 99 years 364 days>police discover him hanging from his ceiling during an act of autoerotic asphyxiationThat's the way to go out.
>>215098069https://youtube.com/shorts/rCge7IU_Gzc?si=JLpy629V21Dhe3yy
>>215099461>>215099560Retarded youngfag logic. Like the idea that you'll suddenly "go crazy" and start doing drugs or sth because YOLO.No, death is just as scary as when you're 20, maybe even more so. You still need something to look forward to, even if it never comes. You just carry on and count your lucky stars.>"this is my five year plan">thinking he won't make it to 105He's gonna tap dace right past Kirk Douglas.
>>215097507Kek I was gonna make this post
>>215097124based, this guy has younger body language than De Niro did in The Irishman
>>215094359can you conspiracy schizos stop appropriating the eye of horus.
>>215093478So I asked ChatGPT and it's bullshit:Aging doesn’t stop at 90. The biological processes of aging — DNA damage, protein misfolding, telomere shortening, mitochondrial dysfunction, etc. — continue right up until death. Cells keep accumulating damage, tissues keep deteriorating, and systems keep failing.However, what is true is that the rate of mortality increase slows down at very old ages. Statistically, from around age 90 or 100 onward, the probability of dying per year doesn’t keep doubling like it does earlier in life.This phenomenon is called late-life mortality deceleration or the mortality plateau.For example, between 40 and 80, your risk of death might double every 8 years; but past 95 or 100, that increase flattens out — the few who make it that far are often unusually robust biologically.So the population-level rate of aging appears to “slow,” but it doesn’t mean individuals stop aging.The “hermetically sealed bubble” idea (that you could then live indefinitely) is pure exaggeration. Even without external threats like infections or injuries, your organs, immune system, and cells would still fail due to internal aging mechanisms.
>>215101043Alan Zweibel met Dick in a hotel elevator and said "Rob Petrie inspired me to become a comedy writer, I'm living the dream" and Dick replied "That's sweet but I became an alcoholic and the show was cancelled after 3 seasons."
>>215093478Sounds like bullshit but because asking for source is for nuumales and söibois I will instead believe you and hail you as based individual. If I believe everything I read on internet, I can never be wrong actually.
>>215096820>Friendship is such a foreign concept to zoomers that they think the only reason two dudes would hang out is for gay sexGrim
>>215100461She looks like she'd be an enthusiastic lover
>>215093406o7
>>215094642I forgot the name of the guy who said it, but it was on Rogan, look it up.
>>215099701why are schizos always overly confident in their delusions lol
>>215102270>it was on Rogan
>>215093406He will finally die at 101. Don't ask how I know.
>>215096474He lives in my neighborhood, so I'd known him for a long time. We were more acquaintances than buddies.
>>215102296I won't.
>>215093478>Bubble Boy Benjamin Button
>>215102270>It was on Rogan
>>215094620Somebody's gotta do it
>>215099499weird wild stuff - I did not know that.
>>215093406Is that a fucking behelit on his cane
>>215099596Fuckin china...
For me it's the Scrubs episode he was in where he was a doctor who wasn't keeping up with new treatments
>>215097124Give it to me straight. Will changing my name to Penis von Carpet-muncher rewrite my genetics to be able to age this gracefully?
He’s outlived Kissinger AND Kirk Douglas.
>>215097695>because your future doctor is using chatgpt to pass medschool right now."Doctors" have been pill pushing quacks for decades. Where the fuck have you been?
>>215102270based retard
>>215093406I think god rewards those that bring tremendous joy to others.Mans humble.
>>215093478it's time to stop coping, Vladimir Vladimirovich
>>215093478Cancer can't go past hermetic bubbles, it is a well known fact
>>215097695>start eating healthy and going to the gymDon't need a gym to be fit as you can do bodyweight exercises in your own living room to get fit and stay healthy.
>>215102284Get fact checked https://www.thewrap.com/silicon-valley-fact-check-are-blood-boys-a-thing/
>>215093406People that age weren't pumped full of a million vaccines likes kids today. You're gonna see average lifespan in the US drop dramatically once all the older people have finally passed way. Everyone left will have been taking chemical shots since birth and will be all fucked up with cancer and mental problems.
>>215105442calisthenics are a meme
>>215105548Nah, gyms are a meme.
>>215093406I was thinking he was talking about a wife who he had been married to since they were both young, but Arlene is his third wife. They were married in 2012 so the quote is less sweet
>>215099461>its sad knowing thats pretty much it and its only a matter of time until the inevitable, must be scary to do anything physical because you are so weak and frailOne of my Grandma's is 80+, she just walks out of the house at 6am everyday and go to her older friends homes to cook some meals and put their clothes in the laundry, they have tea/cofee together while that's done and she's back home by 2pm. The she starts doing the house's chores and it's done by 5pm, she starts reading the Bible or watching some mexican/turkish soap opera, maybe the ocassional classic old flick (She loves Titanic a lot) and goes to sleep by 10pm, sometimes a little later if the show goes on.On the otherside, my other grandma is also 80+ but she already forgets things that you told her 2 minutes ago and needs help for virtually anything. She was pretty much as active as my other grandma until his mid70s where the decay began. It's suprising how big of a difference lifestyle does.
>>215105442Learning curve is too steep. And you still need equipment like pullup bar and parallel bars. For newbies or potatoes, gym is actually better.>>215105548You're not hard enough.
