>excuse me, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?
>>215113692Where did you get this picture of me?
Someone on here made and even better version of this and I’ve never seen it posted again
>wow, i just learned i have a very high tolerance for heat
>>215115154this video is greatthe guy looks EXACTLY like I imagine hot sauce enthusiasts to look
/ck on /tv?>go to local restaurant>strings of lights outside>I WILL WAIT I WILL WAIT FOR YOU blaring >entire place bathed in an orange glow >partially painted walls, lots of exposed bricks, concrete floors >one section of wall covered in stickers, no fewer than half are internet memes - add your own!>framed black and white photos - Chuck Norris, characters from Quentin Tarantino films, cows, breweries, the city the restaurant is located in circa 1930, founder of the restaurant (chunky guy in his late 30s/early 40s with a mustache, wearing driver's cap), an ironic velvet Elvis or two (his mic has been replaced with an ice cream cone or corndog in one)>TMNT arcade cab>row of gaudy IPA taps at the bar >cooler with Mexican Coke, Jarritos, and Perrier>drink fountain only has a trendy "craft soda" brand, with a name like Blow-My-Stack Billy's Bangin' Bubbles; all flavors taste worse than mass produced soda brands>menu has the word "damn" or "hell" on it somewhere, to remind you that this ain't your mama's restaurant>one menu item touts that it's over 1 million Scoville units>cashier is a fat, disinterested teen girl with dyed hair, a nosering, and forearm tattoos, clad in jorts and a t-shirt with the restaurant's modern-vintage style logo, or a talkative rail thin hipster guy with ear gauges, baggy pants, the restaurant shirt, and an open red flannel>tabletops are decorated with bottlecaps, license plates, or vintage ads>seats for tall tables are cushioned barrels, seats for regular tables are unpadded metal that makes your butt go numb in 5 minutes>serve yourself pickle bar with 10 flavors of pickles (photo of the guy who owns the company who makes the pickles is on the wall, too)>food served on small, unsectioned metal trays>3 inch thick burger patty topped with Havarti cheese, bacon, bacon and jalapeño jam, caramelized onions, and Chipotle sauce, served on a brioche bun with a side of sweet potato fries and fried onion strings Yep, it's 2012 again
i ain't reading that shit chief. summarize it in 10 words or less
>>215113692>liking good hot sauce that isn't mostly vinegar is bad and s0iy. Does everything threaten you
>>215115460kekarooni
>>215115492liking things is cringe and leftist
>>215115492>good hot sauceholy reddit
>>215115492>92KWAB get raped basedboy
>go to pizza restaurant>pinball machines and vintage arcade cabinets packed into a useless corner
>>215115778its not a useless corner anymore now huh, retard?
>>215115807It actually is because nobody cares about that shit
>>215113692the only hot sauces I use are tobasco or taco bell and that's mostly for the vinegar and I always order the fruit sour beers or cider
>>215115492get a load of this nigga liking things.
>>215113692is this basedjak based off LGR?
Hot sauce is for negroes and poors to cover up the taste of bad meat
I had an absolutely life-changing experience with hot sauce at work once.I was a supervisor for a shit ass oil change shop and one of the burnout employees came in with some super spicy chicken patty from a fast food chicken place he'd gone to with his roommates the previous night. He brought it so everyone could have a tiny piece of it for a laugh cause it was painfully spicy, like not even edible. I'm a fat nigger though and this was like hour 9 of 10 and I was hungry, so I commandeered that patty cause I'm a terrible supervisor, put it on a bun with a slice of cheese that I had leftover from my lunch and ate it.By the time I finished choking it down I had to go to the bathroom and shit and puke out every last drop of fluid in me for the rest of the shift. It was so bad I had to call the store manager in to cover the last hour of the day cause I was completely incapacitated and took the next day off too.I finally learned to respect the heat. I don't ask for the spiciest thing anymore at restaurants cause I know there's a chance those fuckers aren't playing around.
>IS THAT 6 GORILLION HECKIN SCOVILLEARINOS??!
>>215116197Historically this is accurate but you should appreciate it in the current year because it's a good flavor.
>>215113692Are you banned from /ck/ or something? Why the fuck are there so many food and restaurant threads happening on this board??
