>Hey George. The ocean called, they're running outta shrimp.What would you have said?
>>215489102I wouldn't have said anything. I would have listened. And that's what nobody did.
>>215489102
The ocean is unable to speak, let alone operate a phone
>>215489102I would have said>Yeah? Well the jerk store called, and they're running outta YOU!
>>215489102Maybe you could cut off your penis and offer it to them as a suitable substitute
>>215489114>Hey, Anon. The faggot store called, they're running outta you/s
Maybe apologize for being a disgusting glutton at work
"its not that shrimple"
Tell him I fucked his wife
>>215489102i wouldn't be eating shrimp like a starving pig so he wouldn't say it to me in the first place
>>215489801>How would you feel if you did not have breakfast this morning?
"Look asshole, you scheduled this meeting during lunch for some fucking reason. So I'm eating my lunch. " Then you flick a shrimp tail at his forehead and go back at it.
>>215489896But I did eat shrimp this morning
>>215489518that would've nailed him.
>>215489102mum gay
>>215489783his wife is in a coma
well, i had sex with your wife
>>215489102>YOU'RE A DOUBLE NIGGER
>>215489729This lol
>>215489114
>>215489102>youre baldI would have said that. It works because unlike George, im not bald.
>>215489985Yeah cause I fucked her so goodWHABAM
>>215489114kek
>>215490226NiceVery nice even
>>215489102>then we'd better eat and be merry while we have the chance, haha!>say, pass me the shrimp
I finally understand Seinfeld. It's not a show about nothing. It's about social anxiety. This scene is what everyone thinks about when staring at a catered lunch in an office meeting, in some way or another...Basically, the show is, what if everyone around you was a deranged neurotic asshole, but still had enough credibility that you had to ask your pals wtf just happened
>>215490732Yes, you're the victim. Poor baby.
>>215489102I banged your wife so hard she went into a coma.
A balding guy talked shit to me once in front of a large group of people. I snapped back with "At least I have hair." For the next several hours, I was told that he wanted to kill me and was being talked down and held back by his friends. I did feel bad and I don't talk shit about people's looks ever anymore.
>>215489102>”Sorry guys, guess you aren’t getting any”>and then I finish the fucking shrimp
>>215489102did you tell them you were running out of hair?
>your head called it’s running out of hair
i would have said "they call me the shrimp antichrist"
>>215489102i would say "ligma"
>>215489102>"SUCK MY COCK YOU NIGGER FAGGOT!"
>>215493497>>215493573That doesn't work because George is also balding. He should called him out for wearing lip gloss and eating a plate of vegetables with a glass of water for lunch. He's obviously a closeted gay man.
>>215493689it would be still work because he’s be caught off guard and george had slightly more hair
>>215489102Then it’s time to kill the whales Jerry..
>>215493705he’d be* jesus
>>215493705he'd be jesus? What?
>>215489102I would educate him on how the Chinese use huge fishing vessels to illegally fish on other country's waters and thus are mostly responsible for the decreasing shrimp population
I HAD SEX WITH YOURE COMATOSE WIFE
>>215494040>COMATOSEweird way to say you came on her toes
>>215489102>Yea well the bald assholes with small dicks factory called and said they're running out of YOU
>>215489102I would’ve walked over to him and then punched him in the face.
>>215489102I HAVE A 15 INCH COCK
>>215492291kek once I was finishing up at work and called one of the guys a bald cunt. It was only on the drive home that i realised I was the only guy there who wasnt bald or balding.
>>215489102The exact same thing George said, it was perfect.
Hurled myself across the table and thrashed him senseless.
>>215489102You're bitch!
>>215489985His wife is in a coma might be my #1 favorite punchline of all time. George spends so much time agonizing over Jerk Store, gets slapped down, goes with "I had sex with your wife" out of desperation, and then suddenly out of nowhere Kramer's coma storyline from the other half of the episode crops up, as unexpectedly as possible. It's a flawless fucking victory.
>>215489102...Okay?
>>215489102Did you tell them to check your pants?
>>215492291lolA female coworker and I were having a petty agrument during a meeting and someone said "Jeez, why don't you just get married already"? and I instantly said "They would never find her body" and half the room gasped and the other half burst out laughing. Guess which half did what.
>>215489114fpbp
>>215489114a son of man over here
>>215489985Yeah? Well the life support machine called
>>215489102I would call him a jizzcock
>>215489783Who hasn't?
>>215493631He would have laughed in your face with your weak cringey tiktok speak then roundhouse kick you into a coma with his wife
>>215489102>Tell your daughter her pussy stinks.
>>215489102Me in the car afterwards when I come up with the perfect response
>>215489102oh yeah you're wife called she said she wants her coma back! guess I'll have to fuck her again
>>215489102>What would you have said?No they're not.
>>215489182>this is water
>>215489985The EKG called, it's runnin' outta beeps!
>>215492291At a certain point, people feel the right to make you feel like shit, but if you dish it back, they want to kill you. They see themselves as above you, and I have tried to kill any sympathy I have for these people, although I always end up feeling bad anyway.
This is revenge for what Anomalocaris did to our ancestors.
>>215489102>What would you have said?Oh yeah Watley? Well, I fucked your wife into a coma.
>>215489102>What would you have said?Oh sorry, I did not realize I took that many.My bad.
>>215489729Hehpromote this man.
>>215489102>What would you have said?Not a damn thing. I would have jumped over the table and raped him in front of everyone to establish my dominance.
>>215496589Your compassion will be your undoing
>>215493497>Well I could believe it was the ocean that called you more than I could believe that it was the barbershop.
>>215489102fuck all niggers kek
>>215496678What's the difference?You're their all time bestseller, faggot!
>>215497336uh the your wife store called they're running out of me fucking her!
>>215490732I mean yes its about social faux pas mostly. That and the dealing with their aftermath.
>>215497404big salad is the funniest shit
>>215497420thats one of the very few times I side with Georgenot getting the credit for buying a meal would drive me insane
>>215497384
CARTWRIGHT!!!!CARTWRIGHT!!!!!!
