why is it so hard to do a good lara croft movie?
The Angelina Jolie ones were as close as possible to the tone of the games and she is unapologetically sexy.
>>215500863Part of me thinks Hollywood culture actively hates video games and sees them as competition, so they make sure the adaptations are underfunded and only attach bad writers and actors
>>215500863Because they refuse to just give us a classy, attractive woman with an English accent and big boobs.
>>215500863no refunds
thanks for the good news
How do you spend tens of millions on something and get nothing? Where did that all that money go? It cant be just writers. Are they spending that on reservations for shooting locations? It doesn't seem like it's at a point in the project in which they would be gathering prop or hiring actors.
I think what the forget is the exploration aspect.
>millennial reboot slopAnd nothing of value was lost.
They're paying that Waller bridge woman millions every year to produce literally nothing. It doesn't make any logical sense.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge is not having a good time lately.
it's an inherently problematic character and plot for modern audiences without completely turning it into nothing like tomb raider
>girl with big tits goes on a jungle crypt adventureIs it really so hard?
>>215500986It does when she has dirt on everyone most likely.
>>215500863>just make it a 90s style adventure series with a busty British actress >but what about character arcs and long form narratives >no
>>215500986One of her most prominent recent roles was Shop-girl.
>>215500957Securing the film rights.
>>215500986My tinfoil theory about her is that she's an intelligence asset of some sort.
>>215501020>everything is a conspiracy>mistakes are never made>it's all part of (((their))) planhere's the real story. she tricked idiots into giving her more advance money than she was worth because she billed herself as the next Indiana Jones. then Indiana Jones bombed, she decided to keep the money and not work, and the idiots who gave her money don't like her anymore.plus, she's ugly as sin. she's not getting any big roles again.
>>215500863What the fuck is this bullshit-ass title? They've already cast Sansa no tits Tart. Stop coping. It's coming
>>215500863FAKE FUCKING NEWS. They're filming it you stupid faggot
>>215500957>How do you spend tens of millions on something and get nothing? Where did that all that money go? It cant be just writers. Are they spending that on reservations for shooting locations? It doesn't seem like it's at a point in the project in which they would be gathering prop or hiring actors.its called money laundering and scams
>>215500893It's more than that. Lara now hates treasure-hunting, and has "team diversity" to go out and stop people seeking out lost treasures and artifacts forgotten or completely unknown to the rest of humanity. She's also a lesbian now.
>>215501223>trust me bro
>>215501207She looks like Boy George's transition went successfully.
>>215500957they gave waller-bridge a developing deal for way too much, that's itit's got nothing to do with even any preproduction work as that didn't happen
>>215500863Because she's supposed to be a sexy big tittied white woman. No one pushing actually attractive women anymore. Hollywood is pushing ugly browns like Zendayum, fat pigs like Piguh and women with cellulite asses to appeal to browns/third worlders. None of you fags that consider those abominations attractive need not reply. Your brown ass being allowed online ruined.the internet.
I could come up with a good idea this afternoon if someone offered me that kind of money.
>>215501264>Lara now hates treasure-hunting, and has "team diversity" to go out and stop people seeking out lost treasures and artifacts forgotten or completely unknown to the rest of humanity. She's also a lesbian now.
>>215500957phoebe gets paid like 20m a year whether she provides shit or not. I'm not joking
>>215500863you could literally unironically use chatgtp to write a script and do better than the average hollywood writer of today
>>215501269Cope and seethe. Variety is the authoritative source. It's happening.
>>215501288fuck off, man
>Tomb Restorer>Lara realising the error of her ways breaks into the British Museum to reclaim what was stolen from ancient peoples and returns them to their rightful place....buried deep underground where no one will find them
>>215501264>She's also a lesbian now.Im ok with this.
>>215501305then show me the script you made with chatgpt
>>215501294
>>215501319The detailed response of the brown idiotic third worlder on display. You only bring the world down.
>>215500986Woke is a great grift.
>>215500891Even game writers hate working on games
>>215500891>actively hates video games and sees them as competitionDoesn't vidya earn more than film/tv/spotify combined? I don't think that's competition that's domination.
Lara goes to find some treasure in... *throws dart into a pile of paper* the pyramids of giza. Along the way she is hounded by rival raiders and a shadowy organization who want the treasure to rule/destroy the world. Her father appears in flashbacks and voice overs to tell her she's a Croft and can do it. Oh and also the CGI guardians of the tomb come alive to stop everyone. You can change the pyramids out for something else for the sequel but leave everything else the same. Ill take my 20 million in a check please.
>>215501352Tomb Raider: Origins - Pilot SummaryTitle: "The Croft Legacy"The pilot introduces a young and unproven Lara Croft, working as a bicycle courier in London, haunted by the mysterious disappearance of her adventurer father, Lord Richard Croft.Her life is upended when a mysterious organization, the shadowy Trinity, raids her family estate, seeking an ancient relic known as the "Scion of Light." Forced to flee, Lara follows a trail of clues left by her father, leading her to a hidden chamber beneath Croft Manor. There, she discovers his secret research, pointing to a lost temple on a remote island off the coast of Japan.Driven by a need to clear her father's name and uncover the truth, Lara uses her wits, nascent parkour skills, and intellect to journey to the island. She is not the hardened tomb raider yet; she's resourceful but makes mistakes, driven by raw determination and grief. After navigating treacherous natural obstacles and ancient, booby-trapped ruins, she finally locates the temple.The climax sees Lara facing off against a Trinity operative inside the temple's inner sanctum. In a desperate fight, she relies on agility and cleverness over brute force, ultimately securing the Scion—a small, ornate artifact that hums with unknown energy. As she escapes the collapsing temple, she unlocks a hidden message from her father within the Scion, a holographic warning: "They are not what they seem, Lara. The world is not what you think."The episode ends with Lara, standing on a cliffside, looking at the artifact in her hand. The wide-eyed girl is gone, replaced by a resolute young woman. She has taken her first step into her father's world, but now understands the danger is far greater than she imagined. The hunt is on.
>>215501363
>>215501436It's missing something
>>215500863>you know who can play Lara? That greasy inbred Briton that did Indiana JonesA producer actually said that at some point.
>>215501448this isn't the script
>>215501515She IS the producer and screenplay writer.
>>215501515But she was in Indiana Jones as quirk chungus who made quips and everyone liked that.
>>215501573She is also the one who "saved the future" by knocking out Indiana Jones after embarrassing him in front of Archimedes so she could drag him back into the present.
>>215500863The Vikander one was good but it was rejected because her boobs were too small.That's the issue. The "fans" don't actually want a good film, they want coomerb8. Meanwhile the rights holders want anything except that. So they gave the project to someone as retarded as Waller-Bridge since clearly just making a half-decent female Indiana Jones won't cut it.>>215500885>American who can't actFuck no
>>215501499simple as
>>215500957>How do you spend tens of millions on something and get nothing? Where did that all that money go?They hired Waller-Bridge on an exclusive contract deal that paid her like $5m a year or something just to explore options.ie. Rich people siphoning company money into each other's bank accounts
>>215501300>phoebe gets paid like 20m a year whether she provides shit or not. I'm not jokingIt's only 10m per year, chuddles.
>>215501316>to begin filming in 2026So it's literally not filming at the moment?
>>215501646The whole heart of the original CORE games is Lara alone using her wits to solve puzzles and figure things out while occasionally dealing with goons. That's an experience that didn't translate into the action-RPGs with skill-levellings that require you to kill everything to gain EXP, or the movies.
>>215500863The only thing tomb raider had going for it was sex appeal and even then the series was never that popular.All modern attempts to remake it begin with a firm desexualization of the character, so it's dead in the water before it begins.
>>215500986She's literally landed gentry. Her family holds the most private property of any family in England.
i made daily TR threads on /v/ from september 2023 right as the I-III remaster was announced onwards to about january or february 2024i hope some of the anons that enjoyed those threads are in here too!
>>215501678>literallyKys zoomie
>>215501814Pretty sure that would actually be the royal family, but I get your point. Rich people giving other rich people money so the rest of us don't get any.
>>215500891Maybe it's because videogames are a different medium than movies and what works in a game doesn't work in a movie>>215500893Nobody would actually want to watch that movieGirls don't want to watch a female hero that succeeds at masculine things, and men also don't want to watch a female hero that succeeds at masculine thingsWomen also don't want to watch an attractive woman with big boobs, and neither do men except for wanking, which you can't do at the movies
>>215501515she's a writer, not the actress playing Lara
>>215500863why did hollywood stop following the very basic formula of1. write the script2. cast the script3. make the movie
>>215500863It's not hard at all.>rip off some 1940's adventure novel>cast a latina as Lara>hire the director of those reggaeton music videosThere's your diversity.
>>215501008>>215501042>Xena but Tomb Raiding instead.I'd watch it.
>>215501896>Men don't want to watch an attractive woman with big boobsThat's just fundamentally incorrect. Exhibit A is Sydney Sweeney
>>2155019062008 writers strike when shareholder returns mandated that CEOs do everything to remove royalties, syndication and prolonged joint ownership of IPs. Harry Potter is the last film franchise and forgive my dates, but its either Ricky Gervais and office getting the tail end of tv money or Friends. Pretty much everything is anti Seinfeld syndication and author/writer ownership of IPs
>>215501646>That's the issue. The "fans" don't actually want a good film, they want coomerb8.The Vikander movie was coomerb8 for me (because I like Vikander and enjoyed seeing her being ryona'd), but overall I still didn't like it. It was dull as fuck.
>>215501923>latinaShe's British.
Despite superficial similarities Tomb Raider is actually nothing like Indiana Jones. It's a very different experience and I would argue not a good idea for a movie series.
>>215500891You're not wrong. The problem is media is now dominated by religious urbanite bug women nepo babies who want to destroy everything they view as problematic.
>>215501646>The Vikander one was goodNo it fucking wasn'tShe's a good actress and did what she could with the material she was given, but the movie was fucking terribleThey even copied the plot from the reboot game, but then changed things up for no reason other than to fuck it up completely
>>215502176What did they change? I didn't watch it.
>>215502191NTA, but they cut out all supernatural stuff. It was so retarded I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
>>215501923>>cast a latina as Lara>>hire the director of those reggaeton music videosI'll fucking kill you
>>215500863My psychic war to destroy left wing pigs has been working. It has been a long process of systemic curses, sacrifices to the dark spirits, to Pruflas and Vapula, and the many cadres and legions of Hell, but I think we can now conclusively say that I have been utterly victorious.Who was it, who said that Left Wing Pigs were the artistic ones? Was it you? Did you say that they produce the art and culture that everyone likes? Did you say that? If so, you are now the victim of my terrible curse. You are a cuckold. I have raped you. You are The Raped. And there is no retaliation possible, because what you imagined to be an attack upon me--shoving Jewish lies into every TV series and videogame and movie etc.--has only served to paint you permanently as a gay, shitkissing vandal.Total Aryan victory. I am the Emperor of all Seals, the Seventh Seal, Prince Hydrurgia of the frozen depths. Atlantean magic seethes within me, my heart is a burning coal, and my ribs are teeth. Hell itself smokes in my shadow, and my revenge has only just begun. By the time my plans are fully revealed, the fate of the libtard will already be SEALED.
>>215502175Netflix Witcher is my favorite example of a little girl taking her brother’s army soldiers and making them have a tea party. It’s the perfect showcase of the Lego Batman study unfolding in real life.
>>215501838>nooo you can't just use words according to their literal definition!
Pick an attractive girl, either a white brunette or a brown-skinned woman, it's important for the woman have an hot body and not only a cute face, and give her a good-looking white boyfriend. Include occasional, explicit, passionate sex scenes where both are nude and enjoying each other, with no humiliation against the man in the sexual scenes. Keep it hot, not demeaning to the male character.Make sure Lara Croft is portrayed as cool, strong, adventurous, and an expert in archaeology, the female version of Indiana Jones. Uncharted was inspired by both Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider. The key is to avoid race-baiting or unnecessary stress; make it something both men and women can enjoy without being lectured about the Democrats Party's interests, such as sexually undermining white males, boycotting their relationships with women of any race to avoid losing votes of women since Democrats Party think that women dating white men could not vote for Democrats and this is why Democrats Party owned corporations pushed hard the opposite world in racial social engineering fiction of tv, music, porn and even education on schools who non-white women aren't educated against non-white men and only the race of white men is used as enemy of women in Democrats social engineering narrative to they try to get votes of women with sexual destruction of the race of white men, or Democrats attacking caricatures in fiction made to represent political enemies since Democrats like any politician and party wants the taxpayers money going for their party and politicians and also to use in the corporations who know that will get taxpayers money and benefits of Democrats Party in mainstream industry if stay loyal for Democrats doing movies, tv shows, against political enemies of Democrats Party, or overusing the Nazi gimmick but never making movies, scenes, episodes, nothing about the genocide of Palestinians by Israel since 1948.
>>215500863Here is your British busty actress to play Lara
>>215501896Please never attempt to describe how other people think about anything ever again. You don't have the theory of mind for it.
>>215500863>why is it so hard to do a good lara croft movie?It is not. It is exactly the same as Superman, or Punisher. Concept and executing is the simplest thing ever, but it is literally impossible for leftie Hollywood to pull offTomb Raider and Lara Croft is>high class>incredibly sexy>aware of her sex appeal>adventurous >loves firearms>raids turd world tombs to save artefacts from turd world savagesLiterally everything that makes them seethe and froth at their mouths
>>215502191Too much stuff to list it all off the top of my head, but here's the thing that pissed me off the most personally:In the game, Lara starts as a soft, kinda bookwormy kind of girl, going on an archeology trip is already a big adventure for herSo when shit hits the fan and she and her friends are in danger, she is terrified and needs to become tough and braveThere's a transformation, a character arcWhile in the movie they go out of their way to show her as a rebellious sporty tomboy right from the start, so her character has zero progression over the course of the movieNot a full-on action heroine like Angelina Jolie's Lara though, so it doesn't work in that way either
Lara Croft - Fridge Raider hahaha
>>215501343Anon if it's game Lara going lesbian then it's hot. Problem is that it's Sophie Turner who's uglified now, it's not gonna be hot.
>>215501436But how can we sow racial anger?
>>215501343You will never be a woman.
>>215502175
>>215500986>It doesn't make any logical sense.It does. Head of Amazon studios just outright said that it is beneficial to pay for political and social capital with Hollywood celebrities. She also got fired recently. Don't ask why RoP Galadriel looks like her twin, pure coincidence.
>>215500863>literally get paid millions of dollars to waste someone else's TENS OF MILLIONS of dollarsBoy, Hollywood sure is a difficult and misogynist place for women huh, guys?
>>215501129>and the idiots who gave her money don't like her anymore.See, the problem is she got even more money after Jones bombed. That wasn't before, that happened after.
>>215502344>While in the movie they go out of their way to show her as a rebellious sporty tomboy right from the start, so her character has zero progression over the course of the movieOh yeah, I get what you mean. Basically every movie with a female lead from 2012 to 2024.
>>215502268Nice pasta, but you don't have to do anything, actually. Lefticles are eating themselves, and it's hilarious.
>>215502350Lesbianism is just a gimmick the Democrats Party uses to disguise their agenda of not wanting women to be with white men, because they fear losing votes over it. The lesbianism gimmick doesn’t apply to movies focused on non-white men, because the Democrats Party believes that women paired with non-white men will vote for them, while women with white men won’t.
>>215502378LMAO that’s exactly what she ended up doing. And when Cavil wanted to stick with the vision of the books, he was fired and slandered.
>indiana jones, but a woman>still the woman writer failsIt's telling that her last act before fucking this up was fucking up Indiana Jones itself.Maybe she's doing it on purpose, like for feminism.
You guys describe your own version of Tomb Raider that unironically has nothing to do with the old games. Your idea of Tomb Raider is clearly more influenced by the shitty movies and reboot series than by the CORE games.
>>215501436Just make her hunt for lost treasure of Gobekli Tepe, being chased around by prominent masonic mastermind Flint Dibble and his mercenary gang of Dibblers, trying to keep the entire site secret.
>>215502420Every year straight women are being erased from media. You can’t have a woman who is solely given male love interests. She’s either gay or bisexual. Look at the new Adventure Time spinoff. Fiona will have a girlfriend this season. It’s so bad that critics bitched about Wednesday Adams not having a female love interest.
>>215501264Lara Croft is such a baffling case study in the utterly schizophrenic relationship that leftists have with media and fiction.Eidos & Core Design created an iconic, fun, popular, well-liked and profitable character that was confident, smart, funny, capable & physically attractive. ...And Feminists; both from without and even from within the companies handling the IP themselves; have spent TWO STRAIGHT DECADES trying to destroy, rewrite, replace and "rehabilitate" her into something acceptable according to the principles of their schizo-dogma. All because of that "physically attractive" part. Because she had above average-sized breasts. That's why. That's legitimately why.They've spent just as long seemingly trying to do the same to Duke Nukem but with far less effort or success (partially because he can't seem to get a game made), for the similar reason of him just being "problematic". They unironically hate him and the fact that he even exists; let alone was so popular that he remains beloved and recognizable even today, nearly 30 years after his last legitimately good game. Why? Because he can hand a $20 Bill to a Stripper in a videogame from 1996. That's what makes him a "sexist" and "immature" "relic of gaming" that is "best left forgotten".
>>215502507Last year Anora won the best picture. It's literally a movie about a heterosexual woman.
>>215500957Like the other respondents have indicated, first-look deals pay a prominent filmmaker to generate possibilities which may not necessarily bear fruit. Amy Seimetz is being paid about half as much to make a prequel series to The Beach, and the last time anything was published about that was probably seven years ago.I'm stunned that the board's users still really don't graps much about filmonomics. Shortest and easiest version to understand:>Hollywood is like Wall Street West>it's just another variant of Corporate America>meaning that they don't pay taxes and half their income is from subsidySuper not hard to understand.
>>215501923Junior, you are courting death with these words
>>215501646>The Vikander one was goodTake your fucking meds.
>>215502529If this Amazon one will come out you will also think that in retrospect
>>215502513Tomb Raider was destroyed already by Crystal Dynamics in the 2000s. Arguably the Angel of Darkness was already the end, but that game still retained some of that old Tomb Raider feel.
>>215501515>A producer actually said that at some point.The ENTIRE television industry is women now, thats literally it, thats the reason.
>>215502555Enji's body will never be beat.
>>215502349I would raid her temple if you know what I mean
one day all of this craziness will blow over and then we can go back to creating good stuff
>>215502349>an attention-seeking overweight compulsive liarProbably not the best option
>>215501363Holy fucking shit, the creature on the far left of that cast-image looks like some kind of parody of Tumblr sensibilities in writing & character-design that /pol/ would make to mock and satirize SJW's.Literally an overweight, bespectacled nog of indeterminate gender with brightly-dyed yarn-hair and TWO ARTIFICIAL LEGS. Can't make this shit up.
>>215502276>>215502175The most bizarre shit about Witcher is that the source material is woke as fuck by itself. They wouldn't have to change basically anything in the books to make people seethe, because what people consider to be 'Witcher' is basically just first short stories and then third CD project Red videogame, that is Witcher as people know it. Szapkowski hated the world he created and shat on Geralt as much as he could when he realized nobody cares about his project about Husite wars.
>>215502611No. Tomb Raider was a product of its era and it will never return. Legend is from way before all this woke retardation and this game is nothing like the old Tomb Raider.
>>215500885She was pretty sexy but I never found her as hot as some fans did. But the main thing she had was large fantastic tits which should be integral or even mandatory in the casting process. She also wore skin tight clothing throughout, with nipples poking through. so yeah she is currently the best lara we've ever had by a mile. Movie also had that kino 2000 charm to it. >>215501207Sophie is mid af but if they do her right she could best Vikander who I believe was casted deliberately to deny the game fans of what they wanted and prevent any "male gaze" issues in a series which ironically has been historically consumed by men. >>215500893Did Jolie not at least fake the accent? I cant remember if she did now but is a definite shame if she didnt even attempt it. >>215501646The whole movie is invalidated solely on the deliberate and malicious casting of a titless woman who looks like a boy and doesn't have a shred of Lara Crofts character to her.
>>215502611I think we're halfway there. The first part is over, normies caught on to how shitty everything is now and woke isn't as popular anymore. The demand isn't there as much as it was in the last few years, and box office is dropping hard for any movie/game like pulls this shit.But they still can't actually make good content because they don't know how. Something not being woke doesn't make it good. Next step will be the firing en masse of the current staff of writers and developers who have no talent at all and only got in because of their political views, and companies starting to hire based solely on talent once again. This will probably take another 5-8 years before the cleansing of this filth is complete. So expect about a decade before we start producing good content again.
>>215502661>ironically has been historically consumed by men.That's not even true. Old Tomb Raider was very popular with women.
>>215502520OK? How does that contradict the ongoing pattern that the post you are replying to just illustrated?And since when is fucking Anora of all things a staple of popular consumer culture compared to things like trending series on Netflix and HBO Max?
>>215500986>>215501814yeah it's this.just how it works over here. Daisy Ridley wants to be an actress, she gets roles. there's no real conspiracy to it, just the right connections. Miranda Hart is painfully unfunny, but if she wants her own BBC sitcom, well, her dad was an aide to the Queen.
>>215502520She's a prostitute, she'll munch cunts for 50$ anon
>>215502419Well yes but I like doing the long-form schizo wizard seal posting thing, it adds to the vibe.
>>215502344Funny stuff about the reebot game is that I never finished it, not because there was anything wrong with the gameplay, but because it gave me the hardest case of ludo-narrative dissonance I have ever experienced in a game, namely the Shanty Town part, where game portrays her as scared, inexperienced young woman out of her depth, often injured, almost raped and murdered, but in that part Lara mows down at least 60 mercenaries on a pile of corpses like a fucking terminator. I never picked up the game again after that.
>>215502791>"I hate tombs"And I hate your stupid game, glad they flopped and had no cultural impact whatsoever.
>>215500863Don't they have to START with a script?
>>215502791I hate that shit. Like in the Predator from a decade ago where it's established in the first scene that the autistic kid is petrified by loud noises due to muh autism, and by the end of the movie he's basically moonwalking past exploding vehicles, machine gun fire, and alien spacecraft. Fucking ridiculous. Unconscionable. These people don't deserve to eat.
>>215502867lollmao
>>215502387Tiresome
>>215500863>why is it so hard to do a good lara croft movie?because, the success of first game was also related to the feeling on lonelyness, being alone in actiont tombs. while it works in games, it wuld be very boring in moviesthats why movies tend to follow tr2 syle where lare spends more time on fights than exploration.
>>215502702It’s true. Tomb Raider was popular with women too in the late 90s and early 2000s. My sister played it, and she liked Lara Croft’s looks in the same way men liked cool guys, even if they weren’t gay.
>>215502696what you're seeing are the death throes of an industry built around an obsolete model that will never work again.hollywood relied upon being able to capture the attention of youth demographics as the previous youth demographic aged out. This didn't happen in 2007, when between video games and social media, youth demographics had no time or interest for television or film. This is why hollywood suddenly shifted to nostalgia farming to older and older demographics, as well as their attempt to create "the female audience" that is suddenly gung-ho for movies. Teen movies died because teens could just plug directly into the lives of the popular/attractive kids and live vicariously through them.
>>215502521>prequel series to The BeachAs in the Alex garland book turned movie? Please tell me that's not real, that's one of my favourite books and there is zero fucking chance a series would work.
>>215501008Where's your head at?!
>>215502791She was raped here btw. The russian took Lara's virginity.
>>215501408The legacy of kain writer wanted to finish it.
>>215501288Faggot
>>215502972Hot.
>>215502314Who was the British brunette that appeared in pictorial all the time?
why do games have stories? games should be fun.whenever PS1 games had a cutscene (like a movie you just had to sit and watch) what kids ACTUALLY did was mash Start, to see if it let us get back to the game.
>>215503013No, he's right. Brown people need to be kept away from human concerns.
>>215500957Woops!
>>215502331You didn't have to demolish him like that, try a more humane and proactive critic.
>>215500863Petra Verkaik is too old now.
>>215500893The captain america chick is pretty, brit and busty, but she's too old, isn't classy, has no charisma and can't act.
>>215500863Old rumor, the series is moving forward with Sophie Turner.
>>215500885Fpbp/thread
>>215500863Because the games were made as coomer bait for adolescent boys whereas the people who run Hollywood are brittle femcunts and homos who want to turn it into a feminist power fantasy, and it can't work like that.
>>215500863It's a shit property.
>>215503086And she's also too short.Makes sense she was invited to Mission Impossible.
>>215503092They weren't. You chuds aren't better than the feminists.
>>215503041Back then there were short cutscenes here and there and it was fine. Now it's 5 hours of cutscenes and 5 hours of gameplay.
>>215502702Popular with gamer girls yeah im sure. Now show the percentage split? Don't worry I jest as one wouldn't exist but I can assure you you're looking at 80-90% men vs 10-20% women. You've provided an anecdote about your sister at the end of the day. That proves jack shit other than your sister was a nerd outlier as most girls at that time had no interest in gaming as it was a "boys hobby"
>>215503088Tomb Raider: Absentee Mother Clubgirl
>Sophie Turner>Lara Croftbwahahahaha!
>>215501573>>215501608Why do you retards even know a single thing that has happened in the newest film?
>>215502702Sorry second half of the post was meant for >>215502907
>>215503041To this day, I have no idea what the story of Diablo II is supposed to be about. Some shit about the devil, idk, I'm busy rolling for high runes and SoJs, don't fucking distract me from my slot machine with a lot of noise about "da fate of da wurld" or some shit goddamn
>>215503091The dvd had a special features where they did a insightful dive into her origins. They had wanted to do i Diana Jones but couldnt get the rights and her figure was a joke by one of the designers.
>>215502930>‘The Beach’ Prequel TV Series From Amy Seimetz Will Be a ‘Bit of a Headf**k’>Filmmaker Danny Boyle said the multi-hyphenate has written a new series that rejiggers big pieces of Alex Garland's ambitious original novel.>Danny Boyle‘s 2000 drama “The Beach” might be getting a new chapter. Speaking to The Independent, the filmmaker shared that filmmaker and actress Amy Seimetz has begun working on a television prequel take on the story, first written as a novel by “Annihilation” filmmaker Alex Garland in the mid-90s. In 2000, Boyle directed a film version of the drama, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as an American traveler who seeks out a secret and idyllic beach community in Thailand.>“’The Beach’ may come back,” Boyle told the outlet. “[Seimetz] has taken ‘The Beach’ and made a prequel for television. It’s the same character but it’s set now, so 20 years later – it’s a bit of a headf***.”>He added, “It’s intriguing when you see it. I’ve read the first two scripts.”>The setting shift would mean that Seimetz has moved up the novel’s original time period — 1995, as noted in Garland’s book — to 2015 or later. It’s a change that could certainly work, as the original story’s big ideas about the search for a hidden paradise has taken on added resonance as the world has grown increasingly smaller and interconnected thanks to new technology.>https://www.indiewire.com/features/general/the-beach-prequel-tv-series-amy-seimetz-1202152884/The article's seven years old, so I don't think it's happening.
>>215503148Because it was fucking fascinating, bro.Disney actually made a movie where Indiana Jones went on to save Adolf Hitler.
>>215501646>The Vikander one was goodI stand with you
>>215503141What the fuck. I know their handlers hate beauty but jesus, that's sickening to behold
>>215503141Look at this sad bitch.
>>215503127The oldest still existing Tomb Raider fan website was literally created by a female. I think she's in her 50s or 60s now. Tomb Raider forums are also full of women. Well, his sister and my mother.
>>215500863Because only 1 movie captured the essence of games, and it wasn't even TR release.https://nexushub.co.za/nexus/why-as-above-so-below-is-actually-a-great-tomb-raider-movie.html
>>215501770>The only thing tomb raider had going for it was sex appealTell me you never actually played the games without having to directly admit it. The games train your eyes to constantly scan Lara's environment to see where to go/what to do next. You spend very little time watching Lara herself. It's that captivating sense of exploring that make the original TR games so awesome.
The nepo baby daughter of Terry Pratchett completely ruined Lara CroftShe basically made the anti-Lara; a fragile crybaby who is somehow also a supremely capable mass killerOne cries in cutscenes, and the other guns down thousands of men like it's nothingSounds like a piece of trash movie to me
>>215503156Yeah that would fucking suck, glad someone figured that out
>>215503229Ahh Karnak. Spending days there
>>215503155Sounds best. Indiana's story was alreasy well told. Lara Croft wors as a spiritual successor to Indie, and as her own thing.
>>215503209I was planning on watching this movie on Halloween and this sealed the deal.
the replies here look like the comments section of a critical drinker video
>>215503207Badass! I know there was a modder community for the pc games where fans try to make the best levels for fans to play.
>>215503229>You spend very little time watching Lara herselfModern games in general fuck this up completely. MGSV and the re-make of MGS3 for example, the camera is halfway up snake's ass. You literally can't scan the environment like you mention because he takes up so much of your field of view. Of course this is because Kojima is gay and in love with athletic man-asses so it checks out, but many modern games do this, including nutomb raider.
>>215503297noa critical drinker video looks like a /tv/ threadget it right
chuds>muh titsfeminists>muh tits actual fans>exploration, sense of isolation, horror elements
>>215500891that's not the worst idea I've heard
>>215503229Hell yeah! Tomb raider 2 is my childhood touchstone. The exploration of the great wall of China in the first level really prepares you for the difficulty of the rest of the game.
>>215503258It's easy when you know what you're doing, but when you play it for the first time it seems go go on for ages while you explore every corner.
>>215503229>Alexandria, Giza, LuxorHated Cairo section but still the best Tomb Raider game.
>>215503242>The nepo baby daughter of Terry Pratchett completely ruined Lara CroftIt's ok, she ruined Discworld as well those last few years ghostwriting with her father to make a perfect Mary Sue insert for herself to continue, but they weren't well received.
>>215503333Quads are wrong. It's always>muh tits
>>215501770>was never that popular.Except for Lara Croft being one of the most iconic and recognizable characters in all of gaming.
>>215503107>Those enormous tits were an integral part of the worldbuilding
>>215503379It's the CORE Tomb Raider game with the most tombs in it.
>>215503448you know how you get people to want to play/watch something? you make it look appealing. first impressions matter.
>>215503333This guy knows! The puzzles and levels I solved as a kid are still challenging now.
>>215500863>that fucking grin>being reminded of fleabagshe just took the money and ran, kinda funny t.bh
>>215503263Lara Croft did such a good job at the treasure-hunting explorer genre that the PS1 and PS2 Indiana Jones games came across as cheap copies.
>>215503478>friend recommends fleabag>watch fleabag>no longer listen to that friend's reccs
>>215502175>and full of darkness
>>215501316>Varietywill it be THE GAYEST tomb raider adaptation ever?
>>215503126yeah, i'll get called ADHD or something but i LOVED Morrowind. there were maybe 5 mins of actual video files in the game? the rest was reading. i can read a lot faster than i can wait for a voice actor to read lines to me.VERY few games can pull off Morrowind-level (textual) writing, yet they're now all trying to be movies by default? has that ever worked, even once?
>>215503316Kojima was out before MGS5 was finished, and wasn't around for the MGS3 remake, so that's all on some other fag.
>>215502972Russians only rape males
>>215501363LOL
>>215503515>has that ever worked, even once?yes, they appeal to people who don't like video games.
>>215503448Not all women are flat, and making Lara flatter with the Nu-Lara trilogy sure as shit didn't make games better. Stop pissing your own insecurities onto other women.
>>215503448Yes.
>>215501363>>215503534Jesus fucking Christ. Let's tick every box possible.
>>215503534>and this will help sell our game?>... game?
>>215503546there's some parallel universe not far from our own, where those choose-your-own adventure FMV games became what a 'video game' is.as for Tomb Raider, the 'events of the game' were as follows:>Lara Croft goes through the levels>she falls a lot>sometimes a butler gets locked in a freezerno rape or trauma needed.
>>215501363>>215503534Reminds me of that German ad campaign against migrant sexual assault where the migrant doing the groping of children was a black woman with a missing arm lmao
Get that tranny Hunter to star in it. He already has the polygon titties.
>>215501363Thanks grok
>>215503420Saying that Lara was never that popular remind me of that retard essayist, I think it was Brown Table, who said that Joel is not a popular character, when he was defending Last of Us 2, while he is in Top 3 of basically every chart of most popular gaming characters.
>>215503611those failed because the repetitiveness. no matter how good dragons slayer looked, watching the same sequences over and over looking for the action prompt and just kinda having to guess what direction/button you're supposed to push to continue just wasn't enjoyable at all.
>>215500863Jesus what the fuck is that thing on her face?
>>215500863They refuse to cash in on sex appeal.
>>215501646>Anything with a sexy woman is coomerbait. How dare you not like looking at a manbody!I hate this faggy perpetual online bitch attitude of younger "males" today. We used to have to look at nothing but attractive women in media now it's all ugly and brown women.
WHERE'S MY CANCER?
>>215502477You could start the movie with a fake podcast interview, that's clearly based on Joe Rogan
>>215503682post source or it didn't happen
>>215503086>brit and bustyTbh these usually don't go together Most Bongistanis are flat,.and that makes for a bad cinematic experience
>>215500863It's in the clutches of the feminists. The IP is dead.
>>215503207Im not saying they didnt exist! Just that the majority of people playing these games were men, and giving the protagonist size DD boobs confirms it was at least marketed to men. Women probably loved a series coming out that had a female protag for once so im sure there were more women playing tomb raider more than other games. Again, all your examples are just anecdotes though.
>>215503870Yep. The same feminist idiots who would take an already badass sexy confident girlboss and make her even betterer by giving her anxiety and literal daddy issuesSeriously what the FUCK
>>215503747Dragon's Lair? yeah it's just cool animation.don't quote me on this, but i think some Japanese arcade/Sega CD/etc games actually 'retrofitted' anime to be push-the-right button 'games'.that's silly, isn't it gamers? imagine just watching videos and occasionally pressing the right button, instead of all the action/exploration happening in the actual game.
>>215500863>why is it so hard to do a good lara croft movie?Because they are trying to ape later dogshit games instead of doing something like As Above So Below, which ironically is closer to early TR games than all TR movies. The movie ene captures that feeling of being lost in ancient ruins and also adds elements of horor that were present in Tomb Raider games. https://headstuff.org/entertainment/gaming/films-as-games-as-above-so-below-tomb-raider/
>>215503811I got it mixed up. It was a giant ginger white woman groping a small brown boy with one leg, because of course only white people can commit crimes (more than 60% of sexual assaults of children in Germany last year were by non-German citizens). The artist for this piece (and a few others depicting white men groping or peeping on underage brown migrant girls) is a fat white woman with piercings and green hair.
>>215503382Do you mean tiffany aching
>>215501264>She's also a lesbian now.
>>215503207Stella's is the gold standard when it comes to TR fan sites, and has been ever since the 90s. It's just that there are a lot of people who can only see themselves in an act of total self-absorbed arrogance. When they see stuff that doesn't look like them, they cry that they're not "represented" therefore oppressed and victimized by "unrealistic body types and beauty standards." The thing is the whole of Hollywood and the gaming industry has been polluted and torn up with the "EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME ME ME" mindset.
>>215500891hollywood hates anything white heterosexual men enjoy. once you realize this, you'll stop having any positive expectations for any adaptations.
>>215503990i've never seen an actual person complain about not being represented. its always people complaining on behalf of people not represented.if anything I've seen the opposite, americans with disabilities begging the PC brigade to stop shining spotlights on them in the 90s
>>215503946>Muslims routinely rape and molest German Woman>the German government's response:>>215503911The original Lara was bold almost to the point of arrogant, didn't have any fucks to give, and just mowed down anyone who got in her way in a hailstorm of bullets. That's why she's a bad-ass.
>>215503946kek, what's the turtle saying?
>>215500863because they try to de-sexualize a bombshell goddess
>>215504061Bitches like Mindy Khlig, Jenna Ortega, Leslie Jones, and others are always complaining about the lack of "representation." Just look at the hispanic mobs defending a Puerto Rican rapper playing the Super Bowl with "WE NEED REPRESENTATION EVEN THOUGH WE'RE FUCK-RACIST AND DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR CULTURAL POLLUTION DIVERSITY IN OUR STUFF!"
>>215504070She went from shooting dinosaurs in the face while backflipping off cliffs to "baaaaawwww muh feels"
>>215504114>Nobody is allowed to just touch you without consent.>If you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to get help!>Say my name: Tiki!
>>215504114>Nobody is allowed to touch you without your consent>If you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to ask for help.>Say my name: TIKI!
>>215504142anon that's just actors complaining about their lack of work and trying to make it "political" to (not) give them jobs.
Why do they keep giving this stupid bitch millions and millions to create bombs or LITERALLY NOTHING
>>215500957Movies are an investment scam they trick some rich guy into paying for them. That’s why ticket sales don’t matter to them
>>215504168Laundering
>>215503794lmao seething boomer upset that he can't get his coomb8 from pg13 action adventure films>Vikander isn't attractiveweak b8
>>215503797Is this a reference to that video game review? I only remember the two guys laughing about his review and insane criticism.
I don't like chuds, but the feminist take on this franchise is also really annoying. In the games Lara was never strongly sexualized. She wasn't more sexualized than Jill or Claire from the Resident Evil franchise. New Lara is also attractive, it's not like they made her ugly. She's just lame as fuck.
>>215500863>why is it so hard to do a good lara croft movie?Because today we have the worst producers of all time. They hates sexy, curvy women, just like the head studios
>>215504223>Vikander isn't attractiveYou accidentaly used green arrow - Vikander is not attractive.
>>215501363 Netflix are censoring animes like Dandadan now
>>215504276>In the games Lara was never strongly sexualizedLibtards coming up with mentally ill history revisionism.
>>215504302Oh my god! Is that a single candid photo where she doesn't look her best? Christ, I guess she's not hot because it's not like you can cherry-pick unflattering pictures of literally any so-called 'attractive' actress
>>215504328How was she sexualized? Name one cutscene. The only one I can think of is the ending of TR2. And even fucking Samus on the SNES was more sexualized than that.
>>215503501well it certainly isn't conservative but the acting is great
>>215504340>Is that a single candid photo where she doesn't look her best?It is a photo where she looks her normal - not attractive.
>>215504316You get what you pay for and what you tolerate. Stop giving them your money.
>>215504302literally a man's body, what the fuck is happening in the USA
>>215504532>a man'salso little boy's
>>215504532She's Swedish. "Fridge body" comes from when a girl is skinny but not athletic in the legs to give her natural curves.
>>215503682>>215503946maybe i'm missing something, but it seems like you're reading way too much into this.
>>215504532It's all the frogs in the chemical supply
>>215504302Has that person done full-frontal? There very well may be a micropenis tucked into that bikini bottom.
>>215504340Calm down, simp.
>>215503037Lucy Pinder Katie price We had a lot of British Lad Mag models back in the olden days (90s to 00s)
>>215502555Was something written on the fake gun or just the fact that it was a gun was the reason it was blurred
>>215504272Yep. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s0lzbCK9f8I think it was the guy's public access game review show in the 90s. He had some interesting opinions.
>>215504617She's a woman. She just doesn't have that curve in her lower spine and pelvis that a lot of other women have. And for the record she's not a shit actress at all. She was good in The Fifth Estate and Blue Bayou. She just wasn't right for Tomb Raider.
>>215504575>maybe I'm missing somethingMight be worth either educating yourself or shutting the fuck up in that case, no? This was an ad campaign ran in Büren, specifically in response to an incident in the nearby town of Hessen, where a group of Syrian men got arrested for groping little German girls at the swimming pool. The artist, pic related, chose to make 4 separate art pieces in which a white person sexually assaulted a non-white child. To reiterate, all 4 showed a non-white migrant child being sexually harassed or assaulted by a white German adult.
>>215504745You're aware that curve you're talking about, that I'm assuming you're trying to demonstrate in your attached image, is just a pose right?
>>215500863How come the 90s managed to make hour long adventure series that appealed to children /adults / men / women But you can’t get a tomb raider series off the ground ?
>>215504723racist slurs
>>215503037Rhona Mitra? i know they actually put Lara Croft (as a 3D model) in FHM at some point, but Mitra was the official model for Lara early on.and then she was in Ali G Indahouse, phwoar.
>>215502555Too short. Lara is supposed to be tall so she can kick you in the face from from a few feet away.
>>215503209>>215503943Wanted to post this. 100% Tomb Raider movie and one of my fav dark adventure films. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_BaqNzdGXY
>>215504769because they don't want to make that. they think its cliche, thus bad.
>>215500863I thought they'd at least use AI to draft a script. How is it hard to write s Baywatch tier slop?
>>215504286Me on the right looking at her feet
>>215502125A Latina actress could do the accent and look the part.
>>215500863I think amazon is just retarded, haven't they been struggling to do a Bond movie for years now too?
>>215500863Are they stupid? Sydney is the perfect woman for Lara is everybody knows it. Forget the woke shit and make money.
>>215502303>give her a good-looking white boyfriend.Lara Croft is my waifu
>>215502732>ask grok who she is>her last name is DYKE>looks like a lesbianHAHAHAA
>>215500863The first Tomb Raider plot has a big titted explorer getting hired by a big titted villainess to hunt for cool artifacts while braving dangerous ancient traps and then encountering chads, dinosaurs, dangerous animals and finally, a whole series of increasingly creepier Xenos in a biomechanical pyramid before duking it out with her big titted boss.I don't know why you guys think this is automatically cinematic or something or why audiences would line up to see this.
>>215500863Okay give me some busty British actresses that could pull it off
>>215505785Grace Caroline Currey.
>>215505785Gemma arterton
>>215501832Yea, I remember Lara threads!
>>215505785
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1761502427335142.mp4
>>215506159looks like a shit perfume ad
Good. If what the studio wanted was a pair of breasts bouncing around caves and temples then count me out. I care about the archaeology and Lara being a good role model to girls who want to become historians too.
>>215506220You're nothing more than a collection of holes.
>>215505701>describe something cinematic>oh shit>uh its ackshually not cinematic and that's a good thing no one wants to see that>whew, saved it
>>215506220Not really. Lara is hated by archaeologists, just like Indy. Both are just treasure hunters.
>>215503297He knows how to mobilize retards
>>215503382>The nepo baby daughter of Terry PratchettYou mean his tranny son?
>>215505159No she isn't
>>215505159certainly. the perfect mix of cuteness tomboyism beauty and strength.
>>215501515She was a great Lara Croft in the Indy movie
>>215501646>American who can't actJolie was fine, this is coming from a Brit
>>215506019>British
>>215501646>The "fans" don't actually want a good film, they want coomerb8.It's half the appeal, if you want to make a faithful Tomb Raider movie you need to cast a sexy actress who isn't going to complain about fanservice scenes.
>>215506499that's irrelevant, accents can be made
>>215506516Yes, all those fanservice scenes in the games.
>>215503013Hmmm saar or nigger? Which one are you? Reminder NOTHING you use came from your own kind except cow shit and bug patties.
>>215506624Yes.
>>215506624yes
>>215501223>>215503088>>215503297https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/image/F8i2RtIcL9mogrfVA6l6Yg/It's a fabricated hate thread so certain groups can off on their agendas. Happens every day
>>215501646>The "fans" don't actually want a good film, they want coomerb8.And that Alicia Vikander movie that "DEFEATED THE MALE GAZE" was a total success, right?
>>215506309So describe something "cinematic". Or just run away from the request like a faggot pussy. Either one.
>>215506717Not the original games.
Anything Amazon MGM Studios touches turns to shit.
>>215506856Yes. Here's a long lingering shot of Lara from Tomb Raider II that trails slowly up her body as she begins to undress to get into the shower. Don't talk about shit you know nothing about.
>>215506864
>>215500891I think it's less hate as much as active dismissal, they think video games are nerd shit and resent that a higher up is telling them to adapt some video game storyline that people like instead of whatever artsy fartsy personal project they have gathering cobwebs in their mind
>>215506864>>215506880
>>215506841>describe something "cinematic">a big titted explorer getting hired by a big titted villainess to hunt for cool artifacts while braving dangerous ancient traps and then encountering chads, dinosaurs, dangerous animals and finally, a whole series of increasingly creepier Xenos in a biomechanical pyramid before duking it out with her big titted boss.was the point, brown
>>215506877I already mentioned this one. It's the only scene that could be considered fanservice. It ends with her shooting the viewer with a shotgun.
>>215506923>that doesn't countAmazing stuff. Good job mate.
.
It is a lot of things but Hollywood also doesn't like making tomb raiding plots because of they see it as unethical and racist this extends to most archeology plots as well
>>215506934Why should it count? It's just a joke. It's not like they show her naked.
>>215506980>Why should fan service count as fan service when I dont want it to?Christ alive.
>>215500863> tens of millions in development costs resulted in no scriptWhat the fuck is going on! What is with these studios dumping tons of money into shit that doesn’t have a fucking script! Shouldn’t a script the number one thing done before you invest money into it?
>>215500863Its not, women like her are just useless.
>>215504223Enjoy having nothing and eventually getting splatted by a drone jamal.
>>215506998Because compared to actual fanservice this was nothing.
>>215507186>It doesnt count because worse fan service exists even though the entire joke in the scene is "Yes, this is the fan service you wanted PSYCHE shotgun blast"Please stop being such an imbecile.
>>215507087>Shouldn’t a script the number one thing done before you invest money into it?Nope. We had numerous massive project where work was already well underway and there was no script.Notoriously Marvel had few projects where fight scenes were already finished before a single word of a script was written.I don't remember if this was always the case, but it seems scripts are at best secondary concern for movie production in past two decades, however insane that sounds.
>>215503990>sam riedel talking about womanhood
>>215506980>It's not like they show her naked.they do, but it only works on my PlayStation.you're right it's a joke, it's not 'fanservice' in the anime sense. but come on, it RELIES on her being this sexy femme fatale and 'you' are a voyeur.i doubt they would even do THAT now. maybe just some dialogue, about how men don't own her. whereas the Jolie one at least seemed to be more along the lines of 'i flaunt my sexuality, it's not a bad thing.'>a lady should be modest.>yes. a lady should be.get FUCKED, Rimmer.
>>215501363why does everything have to be so fucking gay now?
If you have a problem with fanservice for men you're just a fag pretending to be an intellectual. Male actors are for the most part still attractive and every single one has at least an unnecessary shirtless scene in movies. Look at marvel shit as an example. Zero sexy female costumes and in any interview they complain if they showed a centimeter of cleavage, even though they show up to red carpets looking like whores. Meanwhile every male character? Shirtless in every movie and fully nude ass shots.
