>>215530244
>be walking down street
>see a minor fender bender
>holy shit
>immediately pull out Huawei P10
>run to scene
>start videotaping the two drivers exchanging insurance paperwork
>chase tow car on foot
>try to sell footage to local news outlet
>get kicked out
>try to sell Huawei (it's not mine) to pawn shop
>get 50 bucks for it

Pretty good day ngl

>>215530244
I blackmailed one of my tenants into sex, she was 67 years old

>>215530244
I tried to sell some scrap metal once (it wasn't stolen but still I felt like I was living on the edge)

One time I stayed up ALL night.

>>215530726
All night!?

>>215531921
Rage against the machine

>driving home from school
>see big plume of smoke rising above tree line
>drive towards the smoke
>find house completely enveloped in flames, no firefighters or anything even there yet
totally worth it

>walking down the street
>see an apartment on fire
>hear people calling for help
>teleport in to rescue people trapped inside and teleport them back to the street
>run away afterwards because this is a world that hates and fears mutants

>>215530244
That's Donnie Darko you dumb faggot

>>215533439
It’s Bubble Boy, you fuckin spaz.

is this thread just one fat kid talking to himself?
if so, could you please kill yourself ahead of schedule for your demographic

>>215534717
This post is so Nightcrawler

i met a personal injury lawyer who really reminded me of bloom recently. he kept his eyes really wide open and was always talking himself up.

>>215534717
Classic nightcrawler

>>215530425
>nigcrawler

>>215534717
No. Fat kid. Lift weights & eat clean. Seek a therapist if needed.

File: 1761615450550.jpg (33 KB, 564x547)

33 KB JPG

guys i'm nighcrawling so hard rn

>>215535853
Based same here. Now the nights are finally longer so I can nightcrawl longer. Nightcrawling in summers is just so shortlived.

>>215532147
Im waiting two minutes to tell you I laughed

I'm 37 and can no longer pull all nighters. Shit sucks.

>>215535853
I hurt my knee so it's been a few weeks since I nightcrawled.

I scoured the night for news. I didn't find any but I did try.

>>215536616
Someone shut their door real loud in the parking lot. I thought it might be on but it was nothing.

>>215536409
Filthy mutie lover.

When I was 15 I saw a minor celebrity (foreign) at a restaurant, I got it in my head that if I could snap a photo of them doing something weird I could make some cash. So I followed him all over town for a day, he never did anything interesting.

>>215536434
Wtf happened, I'm 34 and can also no longer pull all nighters despite being in better shape fitness wise than in my 20s. No matter what, around 2pm the next day my batteries zonk out and I just find the closest flat surface to fall asleep on for at least an hour.

one time at night I stood looking over the fence through my neighbours back window and watched tv with them while they were sitting on the sofa for an hour

>>215532147
Kek

I feel like Nightcrawling tonight. Just driving around in the barrio looking for cheap Chicana hookers

>>215530244
>>215530244
>walk around at night with my phone
>hear a rustling noise
>it's a possum
>can't get my phone camera up in time
>possum runs away
It was like the baby bed scene

>>215532147
Truly a man of God.

>>215530244
McDonald's job interview

>>215530244
>driving home at 4:30 AM
>doing maybe 85 in the fast lane
>look down at radio
>look up
>a mangled black sedan with all of its lights broken is sitting maybe 50 feet in front of me
>looks like it slammed into the center divider and spun around and is wedged against the concrete wall
>maybe half a second to respond
>weave hard right
>dodge the wreck but fishtail all the way across the highway
>“Is this it?”
>turn the wheel back to the left
>“No this definitely isn't it”
>fishtail across two lanes to the left but not as hard as the first one
>another small fishtail back to the right
>full recovery in middle lane
>call the cops
>full speed ahead
>white pickup pulls up alongside me like I need help
>nope im fine
>pass him up and keep heading home

Now sometimes I have nightmares where im fishtailing

>>215538078
Nice. What were u watching

>>215530244
He literally did nothing wrong.

>>215530244
I shot a man.
...on film.

>>215530244
I walk up to people and film them without their consent.

>>215530244
>get new job at bbq restaurant
>coworker is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen
>smitten, in love, I need her
>become friends on every form of social media
>compulsively masturbate to her pictures
>drunk dial her and pretend I’m not obsessed
>drive by her apartment to see if she’s home or has company
>drive by bbq restaurant on my off days to see if she’s working
>go into bbq restaurant to see her on my off days
>never ask her out
>another coworker takes her on date
>they become a couple
>I am absolutely livid
>get drunk and cry alone nightly
>hide my extreme anger for two years
>eventually coworker and crush move on and get married
>quit bbq job and get hired at Verizon
>coworker is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen