>HARRY POTTER!>Did you sneak the Mirror of Erised into the Hufflepuff bathrooms causing them to think they had magically become real women? They came down from their dorm rooms to find themselves staring at a reflection of themselves as women instead of the mutilated freaks they had turned into.>I understand you also had Dobby and several other house elves dance outside of their common room holding up normal mirrors immediately bringing them back to reality.>I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, Mr. Potter. The Hufflepuffs certainly do, almost half the house just Leviosa'd off the astronomy tower!>Did you think I wanted to watch as my students gracelessly fell to their deaths outside my window? The Ministry is now so far up my ass they found Peter Pettigrew!>As a matter of fact I did, 42 points to Gryffindor!
>>215541103Why do you have this idea that all Hufflepuffs are troons? Are you a Slytherin?
>>215541132Slytherins are the Jews or Whites depending on greentext
>>215541132Spoken like a true Hufflepoof
>>215541103This sub is obsessed with transpeople
>>215542786It's just too fun to laugh at them
>"Yes, yes, Draco. I understand...">Said Dumbledore calmly as he placed the back of his hand on the young boy's shoulder>"And it was so close to being Slytherin's year yet again had you not missed out on one key ingredient...">Dumbledore's lips curled into a smile>With one hand he twirled the end of his beard>Then winked at Harry>Who winked back, grinning ear to ear>Draco's mouth dropped open. His head snapped left and right, mortified at the exchange>"Noo..." Draco whispered>"Yes!" Dumbledore exclaimed! "Had you only been in Gryffindooooooor!">He pulled out his wand>"Avada!" he zapped>"Kedavra!" he mused>First Goyle>Then Crabb>"You snakey shits!" Dumbledore continued, "Avada! Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" his song went on>He stretched his legs across the table, taking both enormous strides and Slytherin lives>Harry and Ron joined in>"AVADA!">"KEDAVRA!" They bellowed in unison>Till none but Draco remained>Dumbledore placed the tip of his wand against Malfoy's temple>He leant in close>Whispered softly into Draco's ear>So quiet not even Ron and Harry could hear>"I never even liked Salazar"
>>215541132>Huffletroon triggered
>>215541103>I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, Mr. Potter. The Hufflepuffs certainly do, almost half the house just Leviosa'd off the astronomy tower!
>>215542829for me it's the really scatologic ones where dumbledore rapes malfoy or shits on their chest or somethingI don't know why they're so stupid but I like them
>>215542786>ACC-CKIO----....
>>215543073>"YES YES WELL DONE SYLTHERIN, HOWEVER" Dumbledore repeated calmly>The hall was dead silent. Slytherin House waited anxiously>"However nothing, haha!" Dumbledore ejaculated jovially. "Slytherin has won! You are the rightful winners of this year's House Cup. Well done.">"Draco Malfoy, come forward to accept your house's most deserved reward!" Slytherin House cheered as their champion Draco stretched his legs to claim their prize, his face beaming, his chiseled chin held high and haughty.>The hall filled with green and silver banners cascading from the bannisters.>Nearly-Circumcised Dick cheered with the other ghosts, standing in the corner>It was the proudest moment of Draco's young life, he, heir of his house, Head Boy, Prefect of Slytherin.>Now his father would be proud of him.>He took haughty strides up to the podium, until at least he came right in front of the old, venerable headmaster, who unexpectedly stood up.>Why would he be so generous? Malfoy thought, as he knew Dumbledore hated his kind...>"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS" he cried, his hard, elderly wand erect in his hands, pointed at Malfoy>The boy fell in front of the podium, rigid as a board, his eyes glaring with complete and utter shock at the headmaster's actions.>"COLLOPORTUS!" Dumbledore shot into the air with a roaring boom. locking all the doors in the hall.>With Malfoy's stiffened body propped up against the podium, Dumbledore turned around, dropped his trousers, and revealed the most very forbidden forest, white, grey, and speckled with brown.
>>215543143>A magnificent groan echoed throughout the hall, as the headmaster squatted down above the boy's face.>BRAAAP>BRAAAAAAPPPPP>The entire hall gasped in horror as Dumbledore's steaming greenish stink splattered across Malfoy's face. All the poor boy could do was take it.>A wretched smell filled the air, something worse than a Troll after sweet copulation>BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP>"AHAHAHAHAHA! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN, OH YES SYLTHERIN EXCELLENT INDEED! HEHEHEHE!" Gandolf bellowed insanely as his brown bowel brew blasted forth from his prolapsed butthole, gushing torrent after gushing torrent>"BRRRAAAAPPPP>The Professors threw their heads back in hysterical laughter. There was no question that they were having the time of their lives, watching as Dumbledore's putrid poop potion plastered Malfoy's prissy pretty boy face.>BRRAAPP>The students were in chaos. Slytherin House was absolutely humiliated as their Headmaster's cankerous colon concoction encrusted Malfoy's face, his clothes, and the floor, spreading through the entire hall.>Eventually Dumbledore's fecal fountain floundered. He pulled up his trousers, angrily screaming calmly "DID YOU SLYTHERIN SCUM SINCERELY SURMISE THAT I WOULD LET YOU WIN ANYTHING?! YOU ARE SATAN'S CHILDREN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN HISTORY! YOUR CRUCIFIED OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!">The entire hall erupted into applause at Dumbledore's righteous rebuke of the demonic Slytherin kikes. The end.
>>215541103how does a wizard buy something in muggle land, is there some kind of foreign exchange for gold and shit?
the joke isn't funny when you run on for 10 sentences, next time just make it one or two.
>>215543154>"DID YOU SLYTHERIN SCUM SINCERELY SURMISE THAT I WOULD LET YOU WIN ANYTHING?! YOU ARE SATAN'S CHILDREN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN HISTORY! YOUR CRUCIFIED OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!"top kek
>>215543197They can exchange galleons for pounds via Gringotts. It probably helps that the same group runs the wizarding and muggle banks
>>215543154>angrily screaming calmlyWhat writing!
>>215543276>What writing!Anon said, calmly
>>215543238>It probably helps that the same group runs the wizarding and muggle bankskek
>>215543197>foreign exchange for gold and shitThey literally exchange wizard shit for gold, where do you think they've been teleporting their bowel movements for centuries?
>>215541132>he didn't read the books
>HARRY POTTER! >Did you sneak the Mirror of Erised into the Hufflepuff bathrooms causing them to think they had magically become real women? They came down from their dorm rooms to find themselves staring at a reflection of themselves as women instead of the mutilated freaks they had turned into. >I understand you also had Dobby and several other house elves dance outside of their common room holding up normal mirrors immediately bringing them back to reality. >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, Mr. Potter. The Hufflepuffs certainly do, almost half the house just Leviosa'd off the astronomy tower! >Did you think I wanted to watch as my students gracelessly fell to their deaths outside my window? The Ministry is now so far up my ass they found Peter Pettigrew! >As a matter of fact I did, 42 points to Gryffindor!
